Teenage Heartache
by kt2785
Summary: OK, so the title is lame I know...but this is a story about the Losties as high schoolers. It's loosely based on The OC. Loosely being the operative word. Sawyer comes to stay with The Shephards...Kate is the girl next door.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I'm trying something different for my 30th fic. It's the losties as teenagers. I got this inspiration because over the weekend I watched The OC, and the characters are actually somewhat similar...I mean not really, but I saw some similarities, so it's kind of based on The OC...if you haven't seen The OC then don't worry about it...and if you have, I'm not trying to copywrite either Lost or The OC.**

Sawyer was walking down the street alone. His grandparents had been driving him crazy so he decided to leave their house. His grandma told him not to bother coming back which was completely fine with him.

"Hey!" he heard a voice behind him. "James!"

He knew who it was before he turned around. A few weeks ago he had borrowed $100 from some guys from school. He definitely didn't have the money yet. He decided it would be best to run, rather than face them. As he ran he could hear them yelling, and running behind him. He was praying that he would be faster, but considering there were 3 of them...he hit the pavement, and the world went dark.

* * *

Christian Shephard was working late. He was spending that night in the emergency room. He was suspended for drinking while he was on call. He shouldn't even be there tonight, but they were short handed in the ER.

"Christian! We've got a patient coming in...17 year old male. He was found beaten in an alley."

"Is he breathing?" Christian asked.

"Yeah, but he's pretty battered."

* * *

When he woke up his head was killing him. He looked around the room and sighed deeply. He knew that they had caught him. He knew that they had beaten him pretty badly. He felt a cast on his wrist.

"You're awake," a voice stated. "You're really lucky that those kids found you when they did."

"Hmm, so I'm gonna live?" he asked.

"Yeah," Dr. Shephard answered. "I need to ask you a couple questions, like what's your name?"

"James," he answered. "But people call me Sawyer."

"Middle name or somethin'?" Christian asked.

"Nah, just a name that I thought of."

"Ok, well we just have to keep you here for a few more hours and then you can go home."

"What home?" he mumbled.

"What'd you say?" Christian asked.

"Nothin'," he replied.

"Ok, well who can I call?" he questioned.

"No one," Sawyer stated. "I'll be fine all on my own."

"Well you're a minor so we have to call someone to come get you," he said.

"Well I don't got nobody," Sawyer answered. "Don't worry about it."

"You can't just go back on the streets," Christian replied. "What if the guys who did this to you come back?"

"They won't," he responded.

"Hold on just a few minutes."

Christian left and was only gone for a few minutes. When he came back Sawyer waited for him to speak. He started to stand up and take the IV out of his hand.

"Just a minute James...Sawyer," Dr. Shephard said. "You need to stay in bed for another hour or so. I just got off the phone with my wife and she said it would be ok if you came home with me...you can stay the night, and then I'm gonna take you home...where do you live?"

"I don't live anywhere," he answered. "I got kicked out and believe me it was welcomed."

"Well nonetheless I think I should take home tomorrow. I don't think my wife would be very happy if you just stayed with us for longer than that," Christian responded.

"Fine," he mumbled.

The ride to the Shephard's house was short, but silent. On the way back to the house Christian stopped and picked Jack up from basketball practice. Sawyer was hoping that the car ride would get better, but it was only worse. Jack didn't ask any questions, or even look at Sawyer.

"I thought you already asked her," Sawyer said.

"Well I did," he nodded. "But I just need to talk to her about it. My wife...she wasn't very happy when I asked her."

"I'll go with ya dad," Jack stated. "Sawyer, I'm sure my mom will get over it. We have a few extra rooms...and it's just for tonight, right dad?"

"I dunno," he answered. "I'm guessing

Sawyer got out of the car and walked down the driveway. He looked through the trees and saw a flickering light. He knew it was someone playing with a lighter.

Kate was the average 17 year old. Her parents got divorced when she was 7. She lived with her mom and step-dad most of the time. Her dad was gone a lot of times. She saw him once a month...sometimes even less. She missed her dad. Every time she saw him she wished she could go with him on his trips, but knew that she couldn't. Whenever her dad left she would cry. She didn't like crying. She wished she could be strong, but every time without fail, the salty tears would come out of her eyes as she watched her dad drive away.

Her step-dad Wayne was a jerk. He would always tell her to call him daddy. She didn't want to call him daddy. She refused to call him daddy, because he wasn't. Her daddy was a nice man who would never come home drunk. The way he looked at her made her want to puke. He looked at her the same way that he looked at her own mom...like she was a woman that he would sleep with. Jack was her best friend. They told each other everything. He lived next door, in a much bigger house. Kate felt like her house was out of place in the neighborhood they lived in. Her house was definitely the smallest, and all their neighbors were either doctors or lawyers. Jack was a great guy. He would come over late at night and sneak into her bedroom. They were best friends...everyone would joke that they were going to end up married. They felt like they were brother and sister, so whenever people would say that, they would laugh.

Kate was sitting outside of her house on her front porch. Her mom and Wayne were both at home, and they were making a lot of noise...noise that Kate would prefer never to hear. She was playing with her lighter. She always kept a lighter on her. She never smoked, it didn't appeal to her...especially since her best friend's dad was a doctor. The only reason why she had a lighter was because she was fascinated by it. Fire was wild and free...all that Kate wished she could be.

"Mind if I bum a light?" he asked. His voice was a southern drawl that made Kate shiver. She looked up and silently handed the guy her lighter.

"Nuh," he started. "You have to light it."

"Why?" she asked, with a small chuckle.

"Bad luck to light someone elses lighter," he replied. "Ain't you ever heard that?"

"No," she said, still laughing. "I don't smoke, so I've never actually had to use it for anything."

"So sweetheart, what's your name?" he asked.

"My name is Kate, and don't call me sweetheart," she said quietly. "What are you doing? What are you doing here, standing in my front yard? And what's your name?"

"Whoa you gonna be a cop when you grow up...or a lawyer...what's with the third degree?"

"You're standing in my yard," she answered. "I think I have a right to know what you're doing here. You just move in the neighborhood or somethin'?"

"Well I was in the Shephard's yard, and I saw you playin' with yer lighter, and well, I needed a smoke. My name is Sawyer...but you can call me whatever you want."

"You're staying with Christian and Margo?" she asked. "Why?"

She nodded and smiled at him. Then she noticed that his face was bruised and bleeding.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"Got beat up," he mumbled. "Dr. Shephard was takin' care of me...I had no where to go and bein' the saint that he is, he invited me to stay for tonight anyway."

"Why do you have no where to go?" she questioned.

"Got kicked out again," he replied. "And now I ain't goin' back. There's no way. My grandparents think they own me."

"I hear you," she said. "I would leave, but I would never survive in the real world. As much as I hate to admit it I need to stay here till I graduate...probably even after that."

"Sawyer, here you are," Jack said, approaching them. He seemed to have not noticed Kate at first. "Kate! Are you ok? What did Wayne do? Lemme see what he did."

"Jack I'm fine," she shook her head. "Mom and Wayne are inside...they just had another fight, and now they're making up."

"Ooh," Jack said. "Sorry. You wanna come over? My mom is going out to get pizza."

As he said this a car tore out of Jack's driveway and down the street. Sawyer laughed quietly. Kate and Jack smiled at each other.

"Nah it's ok," she shook her head. "You have company."

"Oh it's alright Freckles," Sawyer said. "You're more than welcome to join us...right doc jr."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Totally. Come on Kate. You're not going to just sit on the porch for the next hour, or however it's gonna take for them to 'make up'."

"Dammit, you're right," she stated. "Ok."

The three of them walked back to the Shephard's house. Even though it was only a few seconds, the silence was so thick that all of them were happy to get inside the house.

"Hey dad!" Jack yelled. "Kate's gonna stay for dinner."

"Katie," Christian appeared in the door way. "How's your mom?"

"Alright I guess," Kate answered.

"Is her ankle still bothering her?" he asked. "I saw that she had a brace on it."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You know my mom...always doing something stupid. She twisted it when she was walking down the front steps."

That's what her mom had told her. Kate knew it was a lie, and so did Jack and Christian. Even Sawyer who had never met the woman knew Kate was lying.

"Was it Wayne, Katie?" he asked. "You can tell me."

"No," she shook her head. "I can't tell you."

"Katie if he ever hurts you, you know you can come here right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Thanks Christian...and seriously...call me Kate. My dad is the only one who calls me Katie...he just left, so it's just-I don't mean to be rude, but-"

"No problem Kate," he replied. "It's hard to change from Katie to Kate. You were Katie for 15 years."

"I know," she nodded. "Tom still calls me Katie. I guess I don't really mind it when he does, because I never see him."

Tom was her other best friend. Tom, Jack, and Kate were inseperable from kindergarten till 9th grade when Tom left. Tom had to move. It broke Kate's heart. Jack knew that she loved him. If they had more time together Kate and Tom would have definitely ended up together.

"I'm sorry, this must all be really weird for you Sawyer," Kate said, sounding sincear.

"It's all good. Don't worry about it," he replied. "I like learnin' about you Freckles. All I know about you so far is that you have a horny mom and lots of freckles on your nose and cheeks."

"Is that really any of your business anyway?" she asked. "You're such a pervert."

"Hey, you're the one who said they were makin' too much noise," he argued.

"Ok, just stop," she scoffed. "Jack, I'm just gonna go back to my house."

"Kate," Jack began. "Stop. You can stay. I'll talk to this jackass. You can wait in my room if you want."

"Fine," she sighed. "But it's only because I can't stand to go back home right now. But I'm not coming out until I go back. I don't want anything to do with him...I'm glad you're only staying for the night."

She pushed passed Sawyer and made sure that she shoved into him hard enough for him to notice, but not hard enough for him to make some gross comment. Sawyer and Jack heard the door to Jack's room slam shut.

"I didn't-" Sawyer began.

"Look, I know that you didn't mean anything, but seriously you should give her a break. Her step-dad...Wayne. He's a jerk. He hits her. He hits her mom. All she wants is to get out of that house. I know that she tries to be tough, and she is...but she's also fragile."

"I'll go talk to her," Sawyer mumbled.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now," Jack responded.

"I'm not gonna do anything to her," he replied. "I just want to talk to her. If she kicks me out I'll let you talk...I just want to-well I'm not very good with apologies, but I want to apologize to her."

"Ok," Jack nodded. "But I'm gonna be right outside the door and if I hear her even slightly want to leave, I'm coming in and taking over."

"Deal," he said. Sawyer carefully knocked on the door that Kate was behind. He didn't wait for her to answer, and instead let himself into the room. He looked down at her. She was sitting on the ground, with tears streaming down her face. She gasped slightly, she was expecting to see Jack, so when Sawyer was standing in front of her, it surprised her. She wiped her cheeks off and let out a soft chuckle.

"Oh jeez," she whispered. "You must really think I'm a spaz."

"Not really," he shook his head. "I was way out of line. Sorry."

"Well that was genuine," she scoffed.

"No," he sat down next to her on the bed. "I am. I didn't-I just don't think before I speak."

"That why you got your ass kicked?" she asked.

"Almost," he chuckled. "I'm sorry ok. And hey, here's the up side...I think I'm leaving tomorrow. Goin' back to my side of the tracks."

"Well...I'm not exactly on the right side of the tracks either. Jack and I-we live next door to each other, but sometimes it feels like we're worlds a part."

Both Sawyer and Kate heard Jack's mom come into the house. Neither one of them made a move to the door. Sawyer sighed and began to stand up.

"Wait," she said. "I wouldn't go out there just yet if I were you. I mean...I love Margo, she's like a second mom to me...but both Christian and Margo can get pretty loud when they're fighting."

"Why would-" he started, and then stopped talking. "Me. Mrs. Doc, probably won't be too happy with me staying here. I mean the doc says it's fine, but I think she's pretty pissed."

"She'll get over it...I mean it's only for one night right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"And hey...maybe-" she stopped herself from even thinking it.

"Maybe what?" he asked. "I could come stay with you for the night? It's not like your parents will notice."

"Shut up," she shook her head, but let out a laugh. "I was gonna say...maybe Margo would let me stay too...it might ease her mind. We could have a slumber party."

"Yeah," he replied. "And we can paint each others fingernails, and swap stories about how guys are all jerks."

"I don't paint my finger nails," she scoffed. She proudly showed him her short fingernails, that weren't manicured at all. "I like climbing trees and watching scary movies. I'm not your average girl."

"I could tell that the minute I saw you Freckles," he said.

"Are you flirting with me?" she asked.

"Would that bother you?" he questioned, moving closer to her.

"Not entirely," she said quietly. He moved even closer and leaned forward. Kate knew that he was going to try to kiss her. She stood up and motioned him to follow her.

"Come on," she stated. "Pizza's here, and I don't hear the Shephard's yelling anymore."

He smirked at her and stood up to follow. She walked out of the room first, but then stopped to let him ahead of her.

"You checkin' me out?" she asked, noticing that he wasn't looking straight ahead of himself.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I am."

**A/N: Ok so yeah...I hope that this is a good start. I don't even read the 'high school' fics really...sometimes I do, but I just thought I'd try it. Please review, and I'll try my best to update soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter.**

As Sawyer and Kate walked back down the hall and toward the kitchen they both bumped into Jack. Sawyer kept walking. He glanced behind him and gave Kate a small wink. Kate smiled and then looked up at Jack.

"Hey," she whispered. "I'm sorry...you know about freaking out a few minutes ago."

"You should have," he answered. "He-he's a jerk."

"Well, he apologized," she said. "I mean, it wasn't the best apology in the world, but I think he really is sorry. He's almost sweet, in his own weird way."

"You just met the guy Kate, you don't even know him," Jack reaplied.

"What...are you jealous?" she asked with a chuckle. "Don't worry. He's leaving tomorrow right? He won't have that big of an effect on me."

"Alright," he sighed. "You're right. Sorry. I guess I just-since Tom left all we have is each other."

"What about Juliet?" she asked. "I know that you've been eying her. You should ask her to the dance."

"I don't dance," he shook his head. "I thought we were gonna do movie night that night."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I guess we are."

They walked into the kitchen. Sawyer was sitting at the table. Margo was glaring at him, and then scoffed softly before leaving the room.

"Hey doc, you sure this is ok?" Sawyer asked. "I mean-I could just go back out. I don't want to cause you and the wife problems."

"Nah, she'll be fine. It'll be fine," he said. "Margo-she doesn't let things bother her for long. She'll be completely fine by tomorrow."

"Ok," he mumbled.

Kate sat down at the table, near Sawyer and smiled at him.

"He's right...I've never known Margo to hold a grudge," she said. "Oh, Jack...Sawyer and I were talking-maybe I could spend the night too. Maybe it would ease your mom's mind."

"Hmm, dad is that ok?" Jack asked.

"Sure," Christian nodded. "I think you should tell your parents though Katie."

"They won't even notice that I'm gone at all," she scoffed. "In fact I've stayed out all night before on a school night and they haven't said one word. They don't care."

"Still," Christian stated. "I think you should call them later on."

"Ok," she sighed. "Fine."

Later that night Jack, Sawyer, and Kate were sitting in the living room watching TV, but not really watching it. Kate was sitting on the floor playing a game of solitaire.

"That five of hearts...right there," Sawyer pointed. Kate looked back at him and scoffed. "Hey, I was just trying to help Freckles."

"Yeah...if there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone telling me what to do and how to do it."

"Ain't that the truth," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"It's ok...just don't do it again," she said happily. She turned back around and continued to play her game.

"Hey, I'll be right back," Jack said standing up. After he left Sawyer dropped down to the floor. He sat next to Kate and looked at her, until she noticed and looked at him.

"What?" she asked with a small laugh. She pressed her lips together and waited for him to answer.

"You're-do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. "I know it's a lame question, and it makes me sound like a complete loser but-"

"No," she interrupted. "I don't. The only guy that ever came close was Tom, and that was in 7th grade. Not really real boyfriend/girlfriend back then. What about you?"

"No," he answered. "I'm not too great with relationships."

"Maybe you just need to-" she started. "Nevermind, I don't know anything about it."

"Hey, what are you guys talkin' about?" Jack asked. "You look pretty involved in a serious conversation."

"Nah," Sawyer shook his head. "Just talkin' about how Freckles here doesn't have a boyfriend. How about yourself? You have a lady that you have your eyes on?"

"No," Jack answered.

"Oh come on Jack," Kate scoffed. "You know you like Juliet. Don't even try to deny it. Besides, why do you care if Sawyer knows anyway? He's still leaving tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, keep sayin' that," Sawyer sighed. "I guess I have to go home."

The next morning Kate was laying on the floor staring up at the ceiling. Jack and Sawyer were both still sleeping. Sawyer was snoring somewhat loudly.

"Kate?" Christian asked.

"Yeah," she sat up and looked at him.

"You're mom just called to see if you were here," he said quietly. "You didn't call last night did you?"

"No," she shook her head. She had conveniently forgotten to call her parents and tell them she wouldn't be home. She nodded her head, and without having to be told left the house. When she got there her mom was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.

"Katherine," she looked up. "What the hell are you doing? Where have you been?"

"I spent the night at Jack's," she answered. "No big deal."

"It is a big deal," Wayne's voice made Kate shudder. "No call. You should know better young lady. Your mama has been up all night, worried to death."

"I'm-I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be," he said sternly. He stepped toward her and shoved her against the wall.

"Get your hands off me," she stated. She tried to move away from him, but he was definitely stronger than she was.

"You're going to listen to me girl," he said into her ear. "I am your father."

"No you're not!" she screamed. "My father is in the military. My father is Sam Austen, now leave me alone!"

He smacked her hard in the face and still had a grip on her. She tried not to cry. She didn't want him to know that he succeeded in hurting her. She pushed against him again, trying to get away from him, but he still refused to let her go.

"Let me go!" she yelled and sobbed. Diane sat where she was. She protested just once. Suddenly the back door opened quickly and both Jack and Sawyer stepped inside the house. Sawyer pulled Wayne off of Kate, and Jack took Kate by the hand and pulled her into a hug.

"Are you ok?" he whispered. He examined her face. There was no mark on it yet, but he knew there would probably be a good sized bruise. Sawyer punched Wayne and continued to punch him.

"No!" Diane screamed. "Leave him alone!"

"You know what lady," Sawyer scoffed. "You're pathetic. You can't stand up for your own daughter, when this crazy guy is hitting her, but you're gonna stop me?"

"He didn't mean-" she began.

"Don't give me that crap that you didn't mean anything by it," he snapped. "I don't care that I don't know you. You're worse than him if you're gonna just let him-"

"Sawyer, stop," Kate sighed. "It's not worth it."

"Kate, come on," Jack said quietly. "You can come back with us."

"No, it's ok," she said. "I'll be fine."

Wayne glared up at the three teenagers and started getting up.

"You have a death wish boy?" he asked Sawyer.

"Yeah," he answered. "Do you wanna try it?"

"Sawyer," Kate closed her eyes. "Guys, thanks, but you should probably just go. Besides, I thought you were leaving...going back home I mean."

"I just came to say goodbye. And you left your sweatshirt at Jack's."

He handed her the sweater and disappeared out the door. Jack looked at Kate apologetically and squeezed her hand.

"You sure you're ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "See you later. I have to go-I'm going to my room."

"No you're not, Katie," Wayne stated standing up and walking toward her.

"Leave her alone Wayne," Jack replied, walking toward Kate and standing between the two of them. "If you don't leave her alone, you're going to be sorry."

"And what are you gonna do about it Jackie?" Wayne snipped. "You can't do anything about it. If I want to dicipline my daughter I will."

"I'm not your daughter!" she screamed. "I can't-I can't be here now mom. I'm going to leave. I'll be back later."

She pushed past Jack, ran out of the house, practically knocked Sawyer over going past him, and ran down the driveway. She began to run down the street. Sawyer quickly went after her and began to run too. She was running pretty fast for a girl. He caught up to her and to get her to stop he had to tackle her. He landed on top of her, and she scrapped her arms aganist the sidewalk. She let out a painful cry and looked up at him.

"Get off of me," she whispered.

"No," he answered.

"Fine," she said angerly. She flipped them over and stood up. When she started to walk away Sawyer grabbed on to her arm and let out a deep breath.

"Where are you goin' Freckles?" he asked.

"What do you care?" she snapped. "You're leaving right now. You're going back to wherever you came from, and it doesn't matter. I'm going to the park. You can tell that to Jack, and he'll know what you're talking about."

"I thought you didn't care that I'm leaving," he smirked. "We don't know each other right? It shouldn't matter."

"If you ever come back, look me up," she stated, walking away. Sawyer let her go this time and walked back to where Christian and Jack were waiting by the car.

"Later," Jack said, holding out his hand for him to shake.

"Kate went to the park," Sawyer replied. "See you around, I guess."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Thanks."

Sawyer got into the car and waited for Christain to pull out of the driveway. The only words out of Sawyer's mouth was directions to how to get to the house. When they got there Sawyer nodded a thanks, and got out of the car. He walked up the walkway to the house and went inside. Christian watched from the car to make sure that he got in ok. He saw Sawyer stop in the doorway and hesitate. Christain got out of the car and walked to the front door. Walking into the house he saw an older woman in a chair. She appeared to be sleeping, but both Christain and Sawyer knew she wasn't. Christain went up to the woman and checked for a pulse. He couldn't find one.

"How old is your grandma?" Christain asked.

"Does that really matter now," he mumbled. He walked back out of the house and sat down on the front steps.

"Is there anyone else we can call?" he asked. "Parents?"

"My parents are dead," Sawyer answered.

"Why don't you go get your stuff? You can come-come stay with us," he said. "Margo will be fine. I'll talk to her about it. She would never let a kid live alone."

"I'm not a kid," he stated. "And I'll be fine."

"You can't-you gotta just come home with me. We'll figure something out ok?" he asked.

"Yeah alright," he mumbled.

* * *

Jack walked to the park. Kate was sitting motionless on a swing. When she noticed Jack, she shook her head, but didn't move. Jack walked over and sat down next to her. He reached out and brushed the hair out of her face, to examine where she was hit. Sure enough there was a small purple bruise that had made it's way to the surface. They sat there in silence. Jack knew that's really all she needed. He knew that she wouldn't want to talk about it. 

"So, uh...you have a crush on Sawyer don't you?" he asked, breaking the silence, and trying to make her smile at least. He succeeded, and a small smile played on Kate's lips.

**A/N: Please give me lovely Reviews!. THANKS!**


	3. Chapter 3

Jack walked Kate back home after spending the next couple hours at the park. He could hear yelling from his house. He crinkled his eyebrows and walked toward his house. Sawyer was sitting on the front steps looking at his hands. 

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"I'm back," he replied. "I dunno what's gonna happen, but-anyway your dad told me to come back...said your mom would be ok with it. No offense dude, but I don't think your dad knows your mom very well."

"He doesn't really," Jack shrugged. "He's away a lot...you know. Work...business trips."

"Why would a doctor need to travel?" Sawyer asked.

"He's a humanitarian-ok I don't really know why he leaves all the time," Jack answered. "He just gets sick of my mom trying to control his life."

"Yeah," Sawyer mumbled. "Anyway...how's Kate? Is she alright?"

"She's ok," he nodded. "She just needed some time alone. Away from Wayne and her mom."

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Sawyer scoffed. "What kind of mother would let her husband beat up her own daughter?"

"She's just scared," Jack answered. "Diane really does love Kate. She just can't protect her. Wayne has her-"

"Brainwashed?" Sawyer asked.

"Well that wasn't the words I was gonna use, but I guess, yeah," he replied.

"Yeah," Sawyer stated. "I bet he has one of those rooms, with loud music and different images that he puts her in when she's really bad."

* * *

That night Kate was laying in bed. She was having a hard time sleeping. Her face still stung where Wayne had hit her. She was gonna have a hell of a time trying to cover the bruise up with her mom's make-up. Kate never wore much make-up...the only kind she ever wore almost daily was cover-up. She heard her door creak open and took a deep breath in. She was praying that it was just her mom, telling her goodnight.

"Katherine," Diane began.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," Diane said. "I'm sorry that I didn't protect you today. I didn't-I didn't know what to do. You know what he would have done if I tried to stop him."

"Yeah I know mom," she stated. "I just hope he keeps his hands off you tonight."

"I don't," Diane whispered.

"Gross mom," Kate scoffed. "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."

"Actually you won't," she answered. "I'm taking a late shift. 4am-10am."

"OK," she said. "Goodnight mom."

"I love you Katherine," Diane told her bending down and hugging and kissing her.

"Love you too, mom," she sighed.

Diane left the room and shut the door behind her. Kate rolled over and took another deep breath. When she closed her eyes all she could see was the scene from ealier today. Wayne...Sawyer saving her...Jack holding her. She fell asleep, and dreamed about it. She woke up with a start. She could feel someone looking at her.

"Shh!" Sawyer said quickly, as she opened her mouth. "It's me."

"What the hell are you doing in my house?" she whispered. "What are you doing back here?"

"I'm staying with the Shephard's now," he replied. "I thought Jack was gonna call you."

"Hmm...no, he didn't," she answered. "What are you doing here?"

This time a small smile played on her lips and she sat up in bed.

"I came to say goodnight," he told her.

"Yeah," she scoffed. "I believe that."

"Would you believe that I needed a light?" he asked, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket.

"No...not really," she shook her head and smiled wider. "You should leave. It's late, and-how the hell did you get in here anyway?"

"Window in the kitchen," he replied. "I think you should probably get that fixed. It's broken."

"Seriously Sawyer...if my mom found you in here," she whispered.

"Just wanted to see if you were ok," he said. "It got pretty intese today. You ok?"

"I'm fine," she nodded.

"I heard you-" he mumbled. "Your window is open, and well...I heard you mumblin' somethin' in your sleep. Were you havin' a nightmare?"

"Yes, about creepy cowboys sneaking into my room," she replied. "Please just leave."

"Ok," he responded. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was just-"

"Wondering if I'm ok," she finished his thought. "I'm ok. Thanks."

"Hey Katie," Wayne's voice came from the other side. "Who are you talking to?"

The door knob turned and Kate silently told Sawyer to hide. He was two steps ahead of her and was already under her bed. She cleared her throat and Wayne walked into the room.

"Well girl, answer me," he stated firmly. "Who are you talkin' to at this hour?"

"I-Jack," she answered. "I was on the phone."

"Oh," he said quietly. He walked toward her bed and sat down next to her. "You are so pretty."

"Yeah, even with this hidious bruise," she replied angerly.

"Shut up!" he yelled. She jumped at the boom of his voice. He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, a little too sensual for her taste.

"Goodnight Wayne," she said through clenched teeth.

"Goodnight Katie," he responded. He left the room and Kate let out the breath that she was holding in. She put her hands to her face and let out a stiffled sob. She hated him so much. Every day she wished her mom could stand up for herself and just leave him. Kate loved her dad. She didn't understand why her mom wouldn't stay with him. He was a nice guy, and he never would hit anyone, unless they were threatening Kate. She felt Sawyer get onto the bed. She didn't move. Sawyer put his arms around her.

"It's ok," he whispered. "It's gonna be ok."

"Please Sawyer. Just leave," she sobbed.

"It's gonna be ok," he said again. "I'm not gonna let that idiot hurt you again."

"You're not going to be able to protect me forever. He's gonna do whatever he wants. And if he catches you here, I don't know what he'll do. Besides, you barely know me. Why are you trying to protect me?"

"Because," he started. "Because you deserve to have someone stick up for you...obviously your mom isn't gonna do it."

"Stop!" she snapped. "Just go. Get out of here."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

"Yeah, maybe," she whispered.

* * *

The next morning Kate woke up. She smiled to herself remembering her late night visit from Sawyer. Then she thought about Wayne and felt like throwing up. She never wanted anyone to see that side of Wayne. She hadn't even told Jack that Wayne treated her like a piece of ass. The only thing Jack knew about was the bumps and bruises, and that was only because she couldn't always hide those. As she left her room she bumped into Wayne.

"Wayne," she said quietly. "What are you still doing here? I figured you be gone by now."

Quickly and without warning he grabbed onto her shoulders and shoved her against the wall.

"I know he was in your room girly," he said through his teeth. "Your little boyfriend will pay later, but since you're here..."

He punched her hard in the nose, and she fell to the ground. She put her hands to her face. She was shocked that it hadn't knocked her out, and from the look on Wayne's face, he was shocked too. She saw the thick blood falling to the floor. She stood up and looked at him with tears glinting in her eyes.

"Id wasdn't hids fauldt," she said as best she could through the broken nose, and the blood trickling down the back of her throat. "Leavd himd alonde."

"Aw, you're trying to protect the boy next door," he mocked. "Oh well."

He knocked his fist into her face again. This time it was hard enough to knock her out.

* * *

When Kate woke up and looked around she recognized the room as Jack's. She felt someone sitting on the bed and looked up at the figure. She half expected it to be Sawyer...maybe Jack. But instead it was her mother.

"Mom," she whispered.

"Katherine, I'm so sorry," Diane said through a sob. "It should have been me."

"No, mom, it's not your fault," she answered. "Wayne is a psycho."

"I know," she nodded. "But-"

"You're still not leaving him are you?" Kate asked, not really that surprised, but nonetheless pissed off.

"The Shephard's said you could stay with them," she said. "I think it would be for the best. And you can come see me any time. You can come to the diner, and you can come home whenever you want to. I just think you should be safe...and Wayne isn't safe for you."

"Yeah I know," she answered. "Wayne isn't safe for me because he's a pscyhoctic jerk! Why the hell are you staying with him mom!? Why can't you just be with dad? He loves us! And he would never hit either of us...ever!"

"I can't be alone Katherine...Your dad is never around. He's always gone. Wayne was there for me when your dad couldn't be," Diane replied. "And I love Wayne. I know he's horrible to you, but I don't know why Katherine...but I love him. And you can't help who you love."

"But you CAN help who you hurt," Kate said quietly. "And Wayne hurts you. Wayne hits you and beats you, and pushes you...And me too."

"I know...and you didn't put yourself in that situation...I did. That's why you can stay here. Stay with The Shephards."

"Ok," she nodded. "But don't expect me to come home often. I'll see you later mom. Watch your back...try not to get hit while I'm gone."

She didn't hug her mom goodbye. She sat up, and suddenly got dizzy, and laid back down. She put her hands to her face, and let out a pained moan as she brushed her hand across her broken nose. She noticed that Christian had put a splint on it. She looked at Jack's bedside table, there was an ice pack for her head, from where the second time Wayne hit her. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Kate," Jack's voice stated. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "My face kind of hurts."

Jack looked at her face and winced. Jack held his arms out to invite her to hug him. She hugged him tightly and he rubbed her back. She sobbed against his chest. He let out a sigh and kissed her on the head.

"S'she ok?" Sawyer asked from the doorway.

"What part of 'give me 15 minutes' didn't you understand?" Jack asked, slightly annoyed, but greatful for Sawyer caring.

"What can I say...I can't tell time. I just wanted to see-You ok Freckles?"

"Yeah," she whispered. She made a sound that sounded like a sob and chuckle at the same time.

"You look like hell," he told her.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Hell looks good on you," he said. She smiled wider and let out a real chuckle.

"Thanks," she repeated. A couple seconds later Christian and Margo both entered the room.

"Hey hon, are you alright?" Margo said sweetly.

"Yeah. Thanks Margo," she nodded. "I'm really ok. I promise."

"Your nose was broken," Christian said professionally, obviously still in doctor mode. "I think your head is fine, but you need to take it easy for a few days, because you might have a slight head injury considering you were knocked unconcious."

"Dad...you need to work on your bedside manner," Jack replied. "I'm definitely gonna be better at that than you."

"What happened?" Kate asked, changing the subject. "How did you get me out of the house?"

"I was outside smoking," Sawyer replied. "I heard your scuffle. By the time I got inside you were already knocked out. I would have pumbled the hell out of Wayne, but he was gone. He had already left. I carried you back here, and the doc called your mom."

"I can't believe she came," Kate said. "Normally she would have said 'I'm working...too busy to do anything having to do with my daughter'."

"Kate," Jack said quietly. "I'm sorry. But-look at the clock."

Kate glanced at the clock on Jack's bedside table. It said 12:30. Her mom got off work at 10...she hadn't bothered to come till way after her shift was ended.

"Well wait, how long was I out?" Kate asked.

"You were only out for a few minutes Kate...but you fell back to sleep. We were all keeping an eye on you. You're gonna be ok," Christian answered. "But if you do have a concusion it could get serious fast, so that's why you really need to take it easy for a few days."

"My mom got off work at 10," Kate stated, obviously still confused. "Why would she wait till now to come?"

"She said that she got off work at 10, but that she had some things to do. Sawyer found you around 9:30," Jack answered. "We tried calling the diner and they wouldn't get her for us. When we finally got a hold of her she was leaving work and said she had some things to do before she came home."

"God, I hate her," Kate shook her head. "Maybe Wayne will finish her off."

"Kate, you don't mean that," Jack replied.

"No," she said. "I don't. But sometimes...I guess it's cool that I can stay here now though right?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "It's already like we're brother and sister...now we get to share a room."

"Share?" Kate asked. "Aren't there like 4 guest bedrooms in this house?"

"He was kidding...I think," Sawyer told her. "But you are welcome to warm my bed up any day."

"Yeah...thanks," she answered.

"Ok...time to leave...let Kate rest now," Christian said. They all stood up and began to leave the room. Jack squeezed Kate's hand as he left. Sawyer stayed back.

"Sawyer, come on," Jack stated.

"Just a sec," he replied. "I'll be right out I promise. And I promise that I won't excite her too much Doc Jr."

He walked back to the bed and sat down. Kate smiled weakly and stayed silent.

"Sweet dreams Freckles," he whispered. He bent down and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek. It was pretty close to her lips. Kate half wished that she had turned her head so their lips would have touched, but she didn't. She closed her eyes, and knew that she was safe in The Shephard's house...Sawyer was right, she was going to have sweet dreams tonight.

**A/N: Please review! I hope that you enjoyed it. I did have fun writting it. I know we all hate Wayne, but he is kinda fun to write (I know I'm evil, but oh well). **


	4. Chapter 4

When Kate woke up from her nap, she noticed it was still dark out. She knew she had slept most of the day, and that now it was night-time. She looked over at the clock. It was only 8:00. She got up out of bed. She was starving. She walked over to the door and slowly turned the knob. She knew that everyone would still be awake. She pressed her ear to the door to check and see if she could hear voices. When she didn't she opened the door and left the room. She bumped into a tall figure and let out a very audible gasp, that was on the cusp of a scream. 

"Hey," Sawyer whispered. "It's ok."

"God," she sighed. "Do you always lurk? I think I'm gonna have to get you a bell for around your neck."

She looked at him, and noticed that he was holding a piece of paper. She also noticed that he had a glint of tears in his eyes. He quickly wiped the tears away quickly.

"What are you doin' up?" he asked. "The doc said you needed rest."

"I've been resting all day," she answered. "Now I'm just hungry."

"Oh," he nodded. "The Mrs. Doc made spaghetti."

"OK," she said. "I guess I'll go get it then."

She walked away from him and into the kitchen. Margo was already there doing the dishes. She noticed Kate and walked slowly over to her. Without a word she hugged her and pulled out a chair for Kate to take. Kate sat down and sighed.

"Are you sure this is ok Margo?" Kate asked.

"Katie, you're like a daughter to me," Margo answered. "You know that. You are welcome anytime. That Sawyer on the other hand...I mean, I know Christian means well and he's only trying to help the guy out, but...I mean we don't know this kid. What if he's some kind of criminal?"

"I don't think he is," Kate shrugged. "Not yet at least. And he's saved my life...twice."

"Well...I'm still pretty skeptical," she replied. "I just don't know what to do. I don't want the poor guy to be out on the street, but...Christian is hardly home as it is...now I have to take care of 3 teenagers on my own."

"Don't worry about me Margo. I don't need looking after," Kate responded. "And I'm pretty sure that Sawyer is independent too."

"Well, we were going to go on a family vacation, but now that's not gonna work. I'm gonna have to get a refund on the plane tickets. It was just gonna be Christian, Jackie and I."

"You should go," Kate said. "I don't want to ruin your family vacation. And I know Jack's been really looking forward to that vacation. You're going to Boston right? See the Red Sox play?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's the other problem. We have these fantastic seats for the ball game. I know that Jack wants to go."

"Then go," Kate stated. "I can take care of myself. And hey if you don't trust me and Sawyer to be alone in your house you can always call Wayne to look after us."

"You're not funny," Margo sighed.

"Oh come on. It was a joke. Call my mom. I'm sure she'd poke her head in every few days. Make sure we didn't burn the place down. I mean come on, we're 17. We're gonna be seniors in the fall. I think we can handle a few days in your house."

"Well I'll have to talk to Christian about it," she answered. "But we'll see."

**1 week later**

"Kate," Jack started. "You and Sawyer better stay out of trouble."

"Don't worry," she replied. "We're just gonna get piss ass drunk and have unprotected sex."

"Hmm, sounds good to me Freckles," Sawyer said coming up behind her and putting his arms around her. She ducked from out of his arms and hugged Jack.

"Have fun," Kate said. "And please...keep reassuring your parents that we'll be fine. I mean-I'm safer here by myself, than at home with my crazy parents."

"You're right Kate," Jack nodded. "OK. See you in a week."

After the Shephard's left Kate went into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Sawyer followed her and sat down next to her.

"Wanna make out?" he asked. She let out a chuckle and bit her lip.

"Maybe later...like I told Jack...I might need a few drinks in me," she answered.

"Oh come on, you know I'm adorable," he replied.

"Yeah," she sighed. "You're pretty damn cute, cowboy."

"I do have an idea though. We don't really know each other too well...yet. I'll be right back."

He quickly stood up and left the room. Kate sat up and leaned forward to see if she could figure out what he was doing. She couldn't. When he returned he was holding a bottle of vodka. Kate looked at him like he was crazy.

"Oh come on," he scoffed. "The doc and his wife, left two teenagers alone in the house...they're expecting us to take their vodka. Besides, I have a fake ID, and Christian said I could borrow the car, so we can totally go buy them more when this runs out."

"A little tip...don't ever refill the vodka bottle with water and then put it back in the freezer."

"What kind of idiot would do that?" he asked.

"I got a black eye and a sprained wrist for that one," she half chuckled. Her cheeks turned bright pink. She was completely ashamed. Sawyer gave her a weak smile and handed her the bottle.

"Ok, you go first," he said.

"First?" she asked. "You haven't told me the rules yet...some kind of drinking game?"

"Oh, right," he replied. "It's called I Never. It's a game to get to know each other. What you do is you drink if it's something you did, and you don't drink if it's something you've never done."

"What?" she questioned. "I have no idea what you just said."

"Ok...well...hmm lemme think," he began. "I've never kissed a man...now you drink, cuz you've kissed a man."

"How do you know?" she asked. "I told you...the only boyfriend I've ever come close to having was in 7th grade. We never kissed...plus, he was a boy, not a man."

"You've never been kissed?" he asked in shock. "I figured that doc jr, would have at least tried it."

"Yuck, we're like brother and sister," she answered. "Wayne tried to kiss me once, but I'd much prefer to not think of that as my first kiss."

"Ok," he nodded. "Come 'ere."

"I'm not letting you kiss me," she scoffed. "I haven't even taken a sip of liquor yet."

"Trust me," he whispered. He leaned forward. Kate didn't move a muscle and waited for their lips to touch. She expected it to be rough and quick, but instead his lips were soft. He kissed her gently, and didn't even try to make it into some gross make out session. She could feel her hands shaking, and opened her mouth slowly. He backed away.

"What?" she asked, slightly embarrassed that she even attempted to ask for more than just a kiss on the lips.

"Later," he answered.

"I'd much prefer my first real kiss...like french kiss, would be before I'm drunk," she stated.

"You sure about that?" he asked. "I thought you didn't even want me to kiss you."

She leaned toward him and gave him a kiss. When she felt his tounge in her mouth, she let out a small gasp. She backed away first and stared at him for a minute.

"I guess you can drink," he whispered. She picked up the bottle and took a drink.

"I've never been kicked out of my house," she said.

"Liar," he replied. "What the hell are you doin' here?"

"I wasn't kicked out...My mom just thought it would be safer for me here," she responded.

"Fine...cheater," he mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for her to her him. She smiled at him and waited for his next question.

"I've never had a step father."

"Now, who's the cheater," she said, taking the bottle from him, and taking a swig from the bottle.

"Hmm, I've never had sex," she stated. He thought for a minute and then took the bottle from her and took a drink.

"I've never asked a family to leave their own house, just because I wanted to spend time with their new house guest," he said quietly. She glared at him for a minute, but took the bottle and drank from it.

"I've never kept a deep dark secret from the family I was staying with," she whispered. He drank from the bottle and then rearranged himself in his seat. She knew he was about to get very serious.

"I've never committed any crime," he said.

"That's pretty vague," she stated, trying to lighten the mood.

"Any crime Freckles," he repeated. She drank from the bottle and then he took the bottle back and drank too.

"What'd you do?" she asked.

"Borrowed money from a guy that I never intended on giving it back to...I've also stolen some stuff."

"Me too," she nodded. "I also-I'm going to kill him."

"Who?" he asked.

"I'm going to kill Wayne," she said. "I don't know what I'm gonna do yet, but I know-my mom doesn't deserve to be beaten up every day...I'm gonna kill him."

"I'm gonna kill Sawyer," Sawyer stated.

"What does that mean?" she asked. "What was that piece of paper you were holding...last week?"

"Nothin'," he replied, looking away from her. She reached over and took his face in her hands.

"It's ok," she whispered. "I won't tell anyone. I just-"

"Drop it ok," he sighed. He didn't sound mad or annoyed, but she knew that she shouldn't push it. She took her hands off of his face and put them in her lap. He let out a deep breath and reached into his pocket.

"Here," he mumbled.

"But I-" she started.

"Just read it," he sighed. "I just-I don't tell many people about this...but-we just spent the past few minutes getting to know each other so-just after you read it...don't try to-"

"OK," she nodded. As she read it she could feel a lump move up into her throat. She knew that this letter wasn't written to the guy sitting next to her. She could tell. Sawyer would never sleep with a woman for her money. He wasn't like that. She handed him the letter when she was finished. He didn't take it from her, but instead stood up.

"There ya go," he mumbled. "Now you know...I'm not a good person Kate."

"But-" she started.

"I told you not to ask me about it ok?" he said. "I'm gonna go for a drive. I can't stay here right now."

"Sawyer, you've been drinking I don't think-" she started.

"Fine, I'll walk!" he yelled. The way he yelled reminded her of Wayne. She jumped slightly. He walked quickly from the house and slammed the door behind him. Kate looked at the piece of paper in her hands and read it again. She must have read it 5 or 6 times and finally saw the front of the envelope. She tried to figure it out, and at first didn't get it. Finally she realized...Sawyer wrote the letter. He came back only a few minutes later and came into the living room where Kate was still sitting.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I read your letter again...and then again. You wrote this letter didn't you?"

"Leave it alone Kate...it don't matter. I'm already turning in to him," he stated.

"Who are you turning in to?" she asked. "This man? This Sawyer guy?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I haven't taken money from women yet, but I have had a few one night stands...one or 2 of them even with married women. I just-I can't like you."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"You deserve better than some poor hillbilly," he mumbled.

"You don't get to tell me who I deserve Sawyer," she said. "You kissed me tonight, and since then, all I've wanted to do is do it again."

She took him by the hand and pulled him to sit next to her. She kissed his lips softly. He kissed her back and pulled her into a hug.

**A/N: OK so I know that he told her about the letter a little bit too quickly, but I just really wanted him to. I hope that you liked this chapter! HAPPY HALLOWEEN, to those who celebrate it...it's probably my favorite holiday. What's better than to get dressed up and beg for candy from strangers? haha. Anyway I'm a little too old to go trick or treating, but I am gonna get dressed up and go out with my friends.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sawyer and Kate are going to a party at Hurley's house.**

Sawyer looked at his watch. He was tapping his foot and waiting. He didn't understand why it took girls so long to get ready. He never expected Kate to take a long time...it wasn't her thing. Kate was trying to put her curly hair into a pony tail and make it look presentable. Her hair was so out of control that she could never get it to look right. She didn't even really want to go out tonight, but she promised Hurley she'd make an appearance at his birthday. Hurley was one of Kate's friends. They really didn't hang out too much outside of school, but he always invited her to his parties. He was going to be 18.

Kate came out of her new bedroom. It had been 2 days since they played their game of 'I Never'. Neither of them had actually defined any sort of relationship, but neither of them could stop flirting with each other either. They hadn't kissed since. Kate wanted to, but she wasn't sure how Sawyer felt about it. She walked over to Sawyer. She was wearing a little black dress. Normally she would _never _have worn a dress, but Margo had bought it for her, thinking that she would want to wear it, and would have felt bad if she didn't wear it.

"Damn girl," he breathed.

"Let's go," she smiled.

He stepped toward her and leaned toward her neck.

"Let's just stay here," he whispered. "You know you don't really want to go."

"No," she shook her head. "I told Hurley that I was coming, and I'm not letting my friend down. Let's go."

When they arrived at the house Kate grabbed on to Sawyer's hand. She could tell he was nervous. It was almost endearing. She knew that he was confident, but the fact that he was nervous about meeting her friends was cute. She gave his hand a small sqeeze and they walked into the house. There was loud spanish sounding music playing. Everyone was standing around the house. Everyone glanced over at Kate and rushed over to her. Everyone was talking at once and complimenting Kate on her dress. 'Great, she's popular,' Sawyer thought to himself.

They had only been there for 20 minutes when Sawyer stood up from the couch that he was sitting on and left the house. Kate was talking to a pretty blonde. The both watched him leave and Kate sighed softly.

"I'll be right back Shan," she replied. "He's kind of shy. He's usually really confident and cocky. I think he's just nervous."

Kate stood up and walked over to the door. She was about to turn the knob when Kevin stepped in front of the door.

"You going after that loser?" he asked.

"Kevin," she sighed. "Yeah...actually I am. I just wanna see why he's leaving."

"Come on," he whispered, taking a step toward her. "I've missed you Kate."

"What do you mean you miss me?" she asked. "I told you that you need to leave me the hell alone. You were never my boyfriend and you never will be."

"I know. I just-we need to talk Kate. We used to be so close. Remember right after Tom left and you couldn't talk to Jack. We were best friends for about 4 months," he said. He backed away and looked at her somewhat sadly.

"Ok," she said quietly. "Come on." He took her by the hand and they walked up the stairs. Kate didn't hear the front door open. Sawyer watched the two walk up the steps. He almost left again, but instead he followed them.

"Ok Kevin," she replied after they entered a bedroom and sat down on the bed. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Us," he answered. He leaned forward to kiss her. She pushed him away and glared at him. "I need you Kate."

"I told you," she began. "There is no us. We've never even been on a date. You keep asking me out, and I keep saying no. I just-when are you gonna take a hint?"

"I don't understand why you won't go out with me. If there is no us Kate, then why did you follow me up here?"

"Because," she stated. "You're right. We were friends. We were really close, and I saw that you needed to talk. But I didn't think it was going to be about this."

"God you're sexy," he whispered. "Look at you. You never wear dresses. You're so hot."

"Stop," she said quietly. "Please, just stop."

"But I love you," he stated sadly.

"No you don't," she shook her head. "You barely even know me anymore. I mean yeah we were close..._were_. I haven't actually hung out with you in like 3 years."

"Who's fault is that?" he asked. "You haven't hung out with any of us in 3 years. I know that you've been through a lot. I know your step dad has only gotten worse in the past 3 years too...Jack isn't the only one who can comfort you.

He leaned forward to kiss her again and she pushed against his chest again.

"Stop," she sighed. He didn't. He kept trying. "Kevin don't."

He kept pushing against her. She started to panic slightly. She could feel her cheeks getting hot. She pushed him off of her, but that only made him try harder. Suddenly he was pulled off of her. She sat up and saw Sawyer. He didn't even bother to beat the crap out of Kevin. He just looked at Kate and took her by the hands. She smiled up at him weakly and stood up. They walked down the stairs. Shannon came running up to them, when she saw that Kate was still crying and shaking slightly.

"What did he do?" Shannon asked. "I'm gonna kill him. What a jerk! Did he try anything?"

"Shannon," Kate breathed. "Not tonight ok? He's-he's drunk, and he's just not himself. He tried to kiss me...but he's fine. It's ok. I just want to go home though. Tell Hurley I'm sorry ok?"

"Ok, see ya on Friday?" she asked.

"Friday?" Kate crinkled her nose.

"Mall? Shopping? Getting new school clothes and accessories?"

"Oh yeah," she replied. "Ok. Can Sawyer come too? He's really-well the Shephard's are gone, and he's alone and-"

"Freckles it's cool," he mumbled. "I don't do shopping. Go have fun with your friend."

Shannon hugged Kate, and then surprised Sawyer by hugging him too.

"It was great to meet you Sawyer," she stated happily. "When school starts up again you're gonna be the hottest guy on campus...you can get your pick of any girl."

"Just one that I'm lookin' at," he replied quietly. Kate looked at him and then back at Shannon. Without him seeing her, Shannon's eyes went wide and she mouthed "Oh my god!". Shannon smiled and practically pushed the two out of the house.

The walk home was quiet. The only lived a couple blocks away but it seemed like it was taking forever. When they got back to the house Kate stopped Sawyer from going inside.

"Did you mean that?" she asked quietly. "What you said back there...about you only looking at one girl?"

"Freckles we don't have to whisper or wait out here...we got the house to ourselves till Saturday when the docs all come home."

"Only one of them is a doctor," Kate said with a soft chuckle. She stepped toward him and raised herself on her tip toes. She kissed him softly and waited for him to kiss her back.

"You wanna go inside?" he asked raising his eyebrows. They went inside, and Sawyer lead her into his bedroom. They laid down on the bed and started to kiss.

"I want to just put my gross past behind me," she said quietly. "I want to forget about all the bad things that have happened, and start over."

"Me too," he told her. They continued to kiss, and Sawyer started to move his hand up her shirt.

"Wait," she said. "I-Sawyer, I've never done anything like this. You already know that you were my first kiss..."

"Ok," he stated. "All you have to say is slow down. I hear you."

"Thank you," she answered greatfully.

* * *

Kate and Sawyer spent the next 2 days in the house, getting to know each other even better. They had watched movies, and cuddled on the couch. It was Friday night. Kate had just returned from shopping with Shannon. She put her bags down on the floor and sat down on the couch next to Sawyer.

"Did you have fun?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I guess. But I'm glad to be back here."

Kate leaned against him and started watching the TV.

"What are you watching?" she asked.

"I dunno, some scary movie," he answered. "Now that you're here though, I don't think I'll be watching much of any thing."

"I really like you," she stated, slightly embarrassed. "I mean-we barely know each other, but I just like you."

"I like you too Freckles," he said.

That night they were each in their own bedrooms trying to sleep. Neither of them were having any luck. Kate wanted to go into Sawyer's room, but she was hesitating. She didn't want to lead him into thinking she was ready for sex because she definitely wasn't, but she wanted to go cuddle with him. Finally she took a deep breath and forced herself to go to his room. She opened his door and he sat up on his elbows.

"What's up?" he asked. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I jus-nevermind. Goodnight."

"Woah," he jumped out of the bed and grabbed on to her arm as she started to leave. "Come 'ere."

He pulled her toward him and kissed her. He lead her back to the bed and they started kissing even deeper. He kept his hands to himself for the most part, and didn't cross the line, which made Kate feel even better. She reached her hands up his shirt and lifted it up over his head.

"Kate," he started.

"Shh," she said quietly. "I'm not saying that I want to have sex right now, but it's ok to make out with our shirts off right?"

He didn't answer, and instead kissed her again. Kate fell asleep that night with her arms wrapped around Sawyer. They didn't do anything besides kiss. She felt so safe, and she knew that he would never try anything.

The next morning they woke up to someone clearing their throat. Kate opened her eyes and looked up at Margo. She quickly got out of the bed and put her head in her hands.

"What are you guys doing?" Margo asked. Kate and Sawyer stayed quiet and continued to stare at each other.

"Mom, what's going on, where's Kat-" Jack came into the room and stopped speaking. The silence was unbearable, but still no one said anything.

**A/N: So I hope that you guys all liked this chapter. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you everyone who reviewed...and everyone who's been reading.**

Everyone stood in silence. Kate pressed her lips together and continued to stare at Sawyer. She really didn't know where to begin. She didn't feel like she really had to explain anything...they didn't do anything wrong.

"Margo we didn't do anything," Kate finally spoke. "We were just-"

"I don't want to hear it Kate," Margo interrupted.

Jack looked at Kate somewhat in awe and then walked from the room. Kate sighed, she looked after him, but didn't follow him. She looked at Margo and then at her feet. Margo stayed silent which was more unbareable than anything.

"Margo," Kate said. "Nothing happened."

"We don't gotta explain nothin' to her Freckles," Sawyer stated. "We know what happened and if she doesn't believe that...then that's her own damn problem."

"But we didn't do anything," she replied. "All I was doing was sleeping in his bed."

"Oh yeah, that's what it looks like," she scoffed. "I don't want another word out of either of you. I know I'm not your mom, and I can't exactly tell you what to do, but while you're under my roof you will be sleeping in separate rooms. Kate go to your room. I don't want to see either of you till I call you for dinner."

Margo left the room quickly and Kate looked at Sawyer. Her cheeks were still pink. She almost felt like crying. She wanted to tell Margo that nothing happened. She wanted to tell all of them that it was nothing, but she knew that they wouldn't listen anyway.

"Don't worry Freckles," he whispered. "Maybe you should talk to Jack about it? I mean he'll believe you won't he? He has to...he's your best friend."

"No," she shook her head. "No one has to believe us. I guess the only thing that matters is that we know what really happened right?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "That's right. You don't have to worry about anything. The only thing that matters is that we like each other. Margo won't be able to stop us from liking each other."

"Nope," she shook her head and smiled. "Ok, I better go. But I'll see you at dinner I guess."

"Wait," he said. He grabbed on to her wrist and pulled her into a kiss. She kissed him back and smiled.

"What if we get caught," she whispered. "I have a feeling you'll get into more trouble than me."

"Shh," he stated. He kissed her again and she melted into his arms. Neither of them heard the door open.

"Guys, cool it," Jack said soflty. "Mom's coming back. Kate...go. Just-"

"Jack I need to talk to-" she began.

"Wait in your room then. I'll be there in a minute, but hurry."

Kate ran from the room and both Sawyer and Jack heard her bedroom door close. Sawyer waited for Jack to talk. He knew that he was going to get a lecture.

"If you hurt her," Jack started. "You're really gonna regret it. She's like my little sister. She's only a couple months younger than me, but...she's my best friend, and if she ends up broken hearted-"

"Don't worry," Sawyer answered. "I like her. I ain't gonna hurt her."

"Good," he said. He walked out of the room and toward Kate's. He opened the door and found Kate laying in her bed with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Kate," Jack said quietly. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm just embarrassed," she answered. "Your mom trusted us...but nothing happened Jack. I swear."

"Yeah, it didn't look like I was walking in on nothing just now? That _was_ you that was kissing him right?"

"We were just kissing," she replied. "That's all. I didn't do anything wrong. I slept in his bed, but that's all we did...we slept."

"Kate I don't really care what you do," Jack answered. "I mean-well that came out wrong. What I mean is, you can do anything you want. And if you want Sawyer, there's nothing I can do."

"I like him," she responded. "A lot."

"I noticed," he stated.

"But nothing happened," she said again. "Nothing happened. We kissed, that's all. You believe me don't you? I really need you to believe me Jack."

"Do you love him?" he asked carefully.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't know. I mean-I don't think I know him well enough to actually be in love with him. But I do like him. And he's a damn good kisser...not that I have anything to compare it to."

"He really likes you too," Jack told her. "I'll talk to my parents. If you two want to be together, then you should."

"Thanks Jack," she smiled. "But you don't have to do that. I should probably talk to your parents."

That night they ate dinner as a family. Sawyer and Kate were sitting next to each other. Sawyer kept running his foot against Kate's. She didn't respond to it, but only because she didn't want to get into any more trouble.

"Mom, they like each other," Jack said abruptly. "I know that it's weird and slightly uncomfortable, but they want to be with each other...and there's really nothing you're going to be able to do. The more time passes, the more they will like each other."

"Well then we'll just have to do something about that," Margo said. "Sawyer I think you should leave."

"Margo he has no where to go," Christian stated.

"Shut up Christian," she snapped. "Sawyer...Jack will help you pack your stuff. We'll give you money but you can't stay-"

"If Sawyer's not staying tonight then neither am I. Sawyer, we can just go back to my house. Wayne wouldn't dare mess with me right now. In fact, let's just go now," Kate interrupted.

"Kate-" Margo began.

"No!" she screamed. "You're not going to kick him out for liking me! It's not even his fault! My mom always said you can't help who you love...you can't help who you like either. Just because you kick him out of the house, doesn't mean he's gonna stay out, because...well, I'll sneak him back in late at night."

"Kate calm down," Christian said. "We're not kicking anyone out. Margo...let's go. Let's just go talk."

Margo stood up and followed Christian out of the room. They all listened as the two started arguing. When they could no longer hear the arguing they all stopped and looked around at each other.

"Hmm," Sawyer started. "This is nice and not awkward."

"Sawyer I'm so sorry," Kate said putting her hands to her face. "This is just-it's so screwed up. I don't want to fight with them, but I'm not going to just let them kick you out."

"I ain't goin' no where Freckles. The doc will make sure I stay."

Jack took a deep breath. He looked at Kate and Sawyer. Kate took a deep breath too, and took Sawyer by the hand.

"I hope you're right," she whispered. He reached over and took her other hand. He pulled her toward him, and hugged her. She swallowed hard and shook her head. She felt the tears come into her eyes. He brushed his thumbs over her eyes to brush the tears away.

"Freckles, don't cry," he told her.

"I'm just so-they don't believe me," she replied. "I don't even think Jack believes me."

"I'm still sitting right here Kate," Jack said. "It's not that I don't believe you Kate...but honestly...I mean you slept in his bed with him and nothing happened?"

"See? They think that we slept together," she answered. "No, Jack. Nothing happened. We didn't do anything. All we did was sleep. I mean, yeah we kissed a little, but mostly we just cuddled."

"Don't you think that's all a little too fast?" Jack asked. "I mean you only met each other less than a month ago, and you're already sleeping in the same bed."

"I wasn't even going to stay. We were just kissing and cuddling, and I fell asleep."

"That I really don't believe," Jack stated. "You just fell asleep...you weren't planning on sleeping with him?"

"We didn't sleep together!" Kate yelled

"Well, we did," he stated. "Literally. We just slept."

"And you didn't try anything?" Jack asked.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "I thought you were ok with it. You were the one that said that you would talk to your parents because we like each other and want to be together. Why would you pretend to defend us, and now you're taking your mom's side?"

"Well I do think you should be together if you like each other, but it's still none of my business what you did together this week."

"Well we didn't do anything, and if you don't believe me, then I guess we never were friends."

"Kate," he started. "How can you even say that? We've been friends for 17 years. Of course we're still friends. And if you really say that you didn't do anything I believe you."

"Are you just saying that?" she asked, still hurt.

"No," he shook his head. "I believe you Kate. You seem pretty damn adament, so I believe you. I'm sorry that I doubted it before."

As Jack spoke Margo and Christian came back to the table. Margo sighed and sat down. She looked at all three of the teenagers.

"He can stay," Margo mumbled.

"Marge, we didn't do anything," Sawyer stated.

"My name is Margo, not Marge," she stated. "And it doesn't really matter. I don't care of you did anything or not. You can stay, but you better stay the hell out of each others rooms. I don't need Kate getting pregnant...her parents would kill me."

"We didn't have sex!" Kate yelled. "We were just cuddling. Sawyer is the first person I ever even kissed. And yeah we slept in the same bed, but that's it."

She stood up and stormed out of the room. Margo sighed and continued to eat. Jack and Sawyer both stood to follow her. They gave each other a small smile, and Jack sat back down to let Sawyer go. When Sawyer got to Kate's room he knocked softly before letting himself in the room.

"God, I hate this," Kate sighed. "I hate being a stupid girl. It's just not me at all."

"Well I like it," he told her. "I like that you're sticking up for me. I never had anyone do that."

"Well if she kicked you out you wouldn't have anywhere to go. I do. I mean...I don't really want to go back to my mom's house but..."

"We're both staying, so you don't even have to worry about it," he reminded her.

"I know," she nodded. "I just don't think I've ever seen Margo that disappointed in me."

"It doesn't matter," he said. "We get to be together, and still stay here, so it will all work out."

* * *

Later that night Kate was walking back to her room on the way back from the bathroom. She bumped into Sawyer and smiled at him. She started to go into her room, Sawyer stopped Kate before she could get too far. He turned her toward him. 

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Kate," he mocked. He pushed her against the wall and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight," she said into his mouth.

"'night Freckles," he nodded. He kissed her once more and they each went into their own rooms. Kate had only been laying in bed for a few minutes when she heard the door open. She smiled slowly and opened her eyes. Jack was standing in front of her.

"Jack," she said. "What are you doing here? I mean...that came out way wrong. What's up?"

"My mom wanted me to make sure that your door was locked," he sighed. "Don't worry. I trust you. I don't think you'd be stupid enough to do anything again with him. I mean while we're all here."

"Well, I don't think your parents are going to be going anywhere for a while."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that one," he answered. "They will get over it. Don't worry about it. It's gonna be a while probably, but my mom-she doesn't usually hold a grudge."

"Jack, this is me you're talking to," she stated. "I've known your mom for 17 years."

Jack chuckled and shook his head. "Goodnight Kate," he said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"'Kay," she whispered. "'night Jack."

She closed her eyes again. It had only been a few seconds and the door opened again.

"Jack, just go to bed-" she opened her eyes and saw Sawyer standing in her doorway. "Sawyer-"

He quickly walked toward her and covered her mouth with his hand. She closed her mouth and stared up at him. He took her by the hands and pulled her into a sitting position.

"Do you want Margo to know I've come out of my room?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I definitely think it's a good idea." He bent down and kissed her softly. She smiled widely, which made it hard for them to continue to kiss, but they made it work. She laid down and pulled him with her.

"You're right. This is a great idea," she stated quietly. "It almost makes all this better."

"What?" he asked.

"That we're breaking the rules," she chuckled.

"Freckles, you're such a bad girl," he told her.

"You know that you love this," she whispered.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. "I do love it."

He went back to kissing her and rolled over on top of her. She ran her fingers through his hair. Just as things were getting more intense Kate sat up and pushed him away.

"Ok," she whispered. "I really think you should go now. I want to keep kissing you, but I don't want to go too fast."

"Hmm," he grumbled. "Alright. I'll go back to my own room. I'll see you tomorrow though."

"OK," she smiled. He leaned back forward for another kiss. She quickly pulled back and pushed him away again. "Go...before I change my mind and we get into even more trouble."

"But I thought that the trouble thing made it better," he said quietly. She glared at him, but was still smiling. "Alright...goodnight Freckles."

He got up and left the room. Kate laid back down and sighed softly to herself. She kept thinking about Jack's question. 'Are you in love with him?' She had said no...and she meant it, but at the same time she felt like...she didn't know how she felt. She knew that she really liked Sawyer. She loved kissing him, and she loved the way she felt when she was with him. She felt like she could be falling in love with him. As she started thinking about Sawyer and his kisses her heart began to race. She had never felt this way about anyone. She didn't think it was possible to fall in love that quickly. She had known him for less than a month, that was true, but they had spent pretty much every day together since it was summer vacation. She felt like she could definitely be falling in love with him. Now she just had to figure out how to tell Sawyer.

**A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Please Review!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate hadn't talked to Sawyer about what she was feeling. She still wasn't sure what she felt exactly, so she didn't want to freak him out for no reason. They continued to kiss sneak off and kiss, when the Shephard's were in the house. One night Sawyer snuck into Kate's room. She smiled up at him. He walked toward her and sat next to her on the bed.

"What do you wanna to tonight?" he asked into her ear.

"I just want to lay here with you," she whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. She started to kiss his chest, and made her way up to his lips. They laid together all night. Even though Kate didn't want to get caught in the awkward situation again, she couldn't kick him out. She liked laying in his arms. In the morning before anyone else was awake Sawyer snuck out of Kate's room and went back to his own.

It was the first day of their senior year. Kate, Jack, and Sawyer walked in the building together. Sawyer had to go to the office to get all his new information. Kate insisted on going with him. She gave him a small smile as they went into the office. She sat down on the chair outside, and waited for him. He came back 15 minutes later.

"Katherine?" the secretary asked.

"Yes ma'am," she stood up.

"Why aren't you in class?" she questioned.

"I was waiting for Sawyer," Kate answered quickly. "He doesn't really know where he's going, so I wanted-"

"It's alright," she nodded. "Just hurry to class. You don't want to be late on your first day."

The day seemed to drag on and on. Kate didn't even see Sawyer at lunch. After spending every day together for 2 months, it was weird to hardly see each other all day. Kate bounced down the steps in front of the school. She felt a pair of arms come around her. She smiled and began to turn.

"Hey Katie," Wayne's voice said. She whipped around and pushed him away from her.

"Get away from me," she said. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?"

"I came to pick you up from school," he replied.

"I have my own ride, thanks," she stated. He pulled her toward him and was in her face.

"I'm your father," he told her. "You will listen to me and you will come with me."

"You are not my father," she said. "Stay away from me!"

She managed to get out of his grip and ran down the steps the rest of the way. She saw Sawyer standing by the car. He obviously hadn't seen any of what just happened. She ran toward him and jumped into his arms. He could feel her shaking and set her down.

"Hey, are you ok?" he asked. "What happened?"

"Wayne," she said quietly.

"OK," he nodded. "You're ok. You're safe now."

"I am now," she stated.

"Well, Jack said something about staying after school to play basketball with some of the guys...we'll have the house to ourselves till Margo comes home at 5."

Kate couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She nodded and got into the car. When they got into the house Sawyer took Kate by the hand and lead her up the stairs and toward the bedrooms. They stopped in front of their two doors.

"So...you're room or mine," he said quietly. She didn't wait before lifting herself up and kissing him. They had only been kissing for a minute when Kate stopped. She looked at Sawyer and smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"I love you," she said. She couldn't believe that she just said it, but it was too late now. She couldn't take it back.

"Oh," he replied. Kate closed her eyes. He didn't feel the same. She was so sure that he felt the same way, but his reaction was all she needed. She got up out of the bed and left the room. Sawyer thought about following her, but he didn't even know what to say. The rest of the evening Kate and Sawyer avoided each other. It wasn't entirely easy considering their rooms were across the hall from one another, but they did manage to keep their distance from each other.

It was dinner. Kate wasn't there. Sawyer made an excuse for her and told the family that she wasn't feeling well.

"Actually, I'm not feeling well either. Do you mind if I just skip dinner?"

Margo nodded and let Sawyer leave the table. Sawyer went up the stairs and toward Kate's bedroom door. He knocked and waited for her to answer. When she didn't, he let out a deep breath.

"You can eat dinner with everyone. I'm staying in my room. Don't worry," he said. When he didn't hear any movement or noise, he went into his own room and shut the door, a little harder than he meant to.

Kate had heard Sawyer talk. She couldn't really be mad at him for his reaction. She didn't know how she would have reacted. Maybe he's just not ready yet. Maybe he really likes her, but he just isn't ready for love yet. He had probably had his heart broken before. Kate really didn't ever have the chance to be broken hearted over a boy. She decided to leave the house. She would come back later on that night when everyone was sleeping. When she came out of the house she saw a familiar car in her driveway next door. It looked like her dad's car. She hadn't seen him or even heard from him in almost 2 months. She walked quickly over to her house and saw her dad standing on the front porch.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Katie," he said quietly. She ran toward him and into his arms. He hugged her tightly, but let go much too quickly in her opinion.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, still excited. "I mean I'm so glad to see you! But really...what are you doing here?"

"Well," he began.

"Something's wrong isn't it?" she asked.

"Katie, I have to go over to the middle east," he told her.

"For how long?" she questioned sadly.

"That doesn't matter," he answered. "I get to have a couple hours with you. Do you want to go get some food or something?"

"Sure," she nodded. "I'm starved. But you will tell me how long you're going to be gone. I'm not a little kid anymore I can handle it."

Kate and Sam went to his car and began to drive. Kate had a feeling that she knew where they were going. When they arrived at the diner that Diane worked at Kate shook her head and looked up at her dad.

"What are we doing here?" she asked. She hadn't seen her mom once since she moved in with the Shephard's.

"Well I need to tell your mom too," he answered. "I know I'm not part of her family anymore, but I still love her...and well she deserves to know that I'm gonna be gone."

"For how long dad?" Kate asked seriously.

"Katie," he started. "I don't want to ruin what little time we have left."

"Jeez dad just tell me," she scoffed. "That's all I'll be able to think about if you don't just tell me...so?"

"A year," he mumbled. "But Katie that's not the bad part...I'm not going to be able to have any contact with you at all. We can't communicate."

"What else is new?" she whispered.

"Now, Katie, you know that I try to write to you as much as I can when I'm away," he told her.

"Dad I've gotten a grand total of 4 letters from you in the past year," she stated. "And I've seen you even less. It's just not fair. I hate Wayne. I wish he would die."

"Katherine Austen, that is not the way I raised you. Never wish anyone dead."

"Did you even know that he hits me all the time? He broke my nose during the summer," Kate replied. "Whatever, let's just get this stupid meal done with."

As they were eating Diane kept looking over at them. Every time Kate noticed her mom looking at her she acted like she was having the best time ever. She didn't want to be mad or be a brat, but she didn't want her dad to go away for a year. Diane walked over to the table and handed Sam the check.

"Katherine it's good see you," she said.

"Diane, we actually came here for a reason," Sam began. Kate stood up and told her parents that she was just going to go to the bathroom. Sam and Diane talked till Kate came back. When Kate sat back down at the table Diane still didn't leave.

"Katherine, I just want to let you know my work schedule for this week. I really think we should just talk. I miss you."

"Yeah because now Wayne takes all his anger out on you."

"That's not fair," Diane shook her head. "Ok. Well me and Wayne will both be gone all night. Wayne hasn't been to our house in a while. I don't know when he's coming back. But anyway, I should be home from work tomorrow around 10 am. I know you have school...but I should be there when you get home from school. Do you want to talk? Please?"

"Ok mom," she nodded. "I'll come over after school."

Sam drove Kate home and said goodbye to her at the door of the house.

"Aren't you going back to the Shephard's?" Sam asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm just gonna stay here for a while. I don't miss Wayne, but I sort of miss my own bed. I'll go back over there later."

"Ok," he nodded. "I love you Katie."

"I love you too Daddy," she answered. The tears were already stinging her eyes. She hugged her dad tightly and watched him drive away. She watched until she couldn't see the tail lights.

The next morning Sawyer woke up in his bed. He hadn't slept well at all. All he wanted to do is talk to Kate. HE knew that he would talk to her at school if it killed him. He was staring up at the ceiling and thinking about all the things he could have said instead of 'oh'. There was a soft knock on his door. He was praying that it wasn't Kate.

"Come in," he mumbled.

"Sawyer, have you seen Kate?" Jack asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Not since-nevermind. I haven't seen her. Is she not in her room?"

"No. She's gone," Jack replied. "Did something happen with you guys?"

"No," Sawyer answered.

"Come on...just tell me," Jack said. "Just because Kate's my best friend, doesn't mean I'll automatically take her side...ok...I probably will, but just tell me what happened."

"She told me she loves me," he murmured.

"Oh," Jack stated.

"That's what I said," he replied, somewhat shamefully.

"What?" Jack asked.

"When she told me that she loves me, all I could think of to say was 'Oh'."

"Oh man," Jack said. "No wonder she disappeared."

"Yeah, thanks," he mumbled.

"Why don't we both go look for her?" Jack questioned.

"Believe me...I'm the last person she'll want to see."

A few minutes later Jack had convinced Sawyer that they should go look for her. They left the house and each went in opposite directions. Sawyer walked toward the Austen's house. As he passed it he could hear sobbing coming from Kate's room. He didn't know why she always left her window wide open, but he was glad that he had found her. He went to the door and checked to see if it was unlocked. It was. He let himself in the house and walked toward Kate's room. He opened her door and saw her laying on the floor curled up in a ball.

"Kate," he whispered. She gasped and sat up. She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. He knelt next to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

"What happened?" he asked. "You can't be this upset over me."

"How the hell would you know?" she questioned with a sob.

"Because that would be pretty damn silly," he told her.

"My dad's going to leave for an entire year," she whispered. "I'm not going to see him for a year."

"Sorry," Sawyer mumbled. "That sucks."

He took her by the hand and they both stood up. Kate wrapped her arms around him and began to kiss him. Sawyer started to push her away, but she lead them to the bed and laid down. He expected her to start kissing him again, but instead she leaned against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He let out a deep breath and held her closely.

"I love you too Freckles," he said quietly.

"You're just saying that," she sniffled, but was smiling.

"No I'm not," he answered. "I-I think when you said it...it just caught me off gaurd. I love you, Kate."

She took a deep breath in and kissed him. She rolled on top of him and continued to kiss him. She lifted her own shirt over her head quickly and flipped over, so Sawyer was now on top of her. She started pulling her pants off.

"Kate," he whispered.

"You don't want to?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me?" he questioned.

"Thanks a lot," she scoffed. She pushed him off of her and started getting out of the bed. He pulled her back and pinned her down.

"Of course I do," he replied. "I just-are you sure? You don't think that it's too fast?"

"No," she shook her head. "I have wanted this for so long. I've wanted to fall in love and have that person be the first."

"Ok," he stated. "But we can do this slowly right?"

"No," she smiled, and quickly began to take her pants off again.

"Hold on," he whispered. He stopped her and started slowly unbottoning her pants. As his hands moved over her body Kate was anticipating his every touch. She knew that he was much more experienced than her, but that was a good thing. He definitely knew what he was doing. She didn't know what to expect. She had heard that the first time hurts. She was scared, but she knew that Sawyer would be careful. He moved over her.

"You ok?" he asked quietly. She nodded and leaned up to kiss him.

"Do you have a-," she breathed.

"Yeah," he answered.

* * *

Kate was laying next to Sawyer with her head resting on his chest. She looked over at her clock, it was 10:00.

"Should we go to school? We already missed 2 hours of it...might as well just stay here all day." she said with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said. It felt good to say it again. She knew that it was true. Even thought they were still somewhat young, she knew that she had never felt like this before. She thought about the time again, and realized it was 10:00...her mom was getting off work at 10. She looked back at the clock and hoped that she was wrong.

"My mom's going to be home in like 20 minutes," she told him. "We should probably at least get dressed."

"We can wait 10 minutes can't we?" he asked rubbing her back with his hand.

"Yeah," she answered. She laid back down in Sawyer's arms. She wasn't really tired in the least, but she wished she could stay, safe in his arms forever. She watched the door knob on her door turn.

"Sawyer," she whispered, and poked him. He saw what she was seeing and quickly put his arms tighter around her. He was going to protect her from whatever came through that door.

**A/N: Who will it be? Seriously. Haha I have a couple ideas of who it's going to be but I'm not completely sure who yet...should it be Wayne? Diane? Or possibly Jack? OR someone completely different. Lemme know and I'll try to do majority rules...but that means you're gonna have to review! So please please review! **


	8. Chapter 8

The door was opening at an agonizing pace. Kate pulled the covers over Sawyer to try to hide him. She knew that it wasn't going to work or help anything, but she still had wishful thinking. The door finally swung open the rest of the way. 

"What the hell are you doin' girl?" Wayne asked. Sawyer wrapped his arms tighter around Kate, but stayed under the covers.

"I wasn't feeling well," she answered. "I wanted to sleep in my own bed last night...so I came home.

"Oh really?" he asked. "Get over here."

He grabbed onto her wrist roughly. She was able to keep herself covered with the blankets, and jerked her arm out of his grip.

"You naked under there?" he asked.

"Get out of my room," she said through her teeth.

"What is that lump behind you?" he questioned. He went toward Kate and started to lift the blanket. Sawyer had somehow managed to reach down and put his boxers back on. He pushed Kate out of the way and jumped toward Wayne.

"Sawyer don't!" Kate yelled. Wayne shoved Sawyer against the wall. Sawyer fought back and pushed Wayne to the floor.

"You're gonna regret that," Wayne mumbled. Kate stood up, still keeping herself covered. She walked toward Sawyer and stood between him and Wayne. Sawyer gently pushed her back behind him.

"Freckles, it's ok," he whispered. "Stay behind me."

"I'm not some puppy you can tell what to do," she exclaimed.

"Kate you best mind me," Wayne said. "What the hell do you think you're doing with a boy in your bed? Are you gonna tell me that you love him? That you were just showing your eternal love? Pathetic."

"Shut up!" she screamed. As she yelled Sawyer lunged toward Wayne. Wayne punched Sawyer in the face and continued to punch him, so Sawyer didn't have a chance to fight back.

"Stop!" she yelled.

"Do you love him?" Wayne asked, catching his breath.

"Yes," she answered quickly.

"Good," he replied. He punched Sawyer once more and stood up, and quickly left the room and the house. Kate sat back and started to breath heavily. She pulled herself together and stood up. She grabbed her bathrobe off the back of the chair and wrapped it around herself. Then she knelt next to Sawyer who was starting to sit up.

"Wait," she whispered. "Don't get up too fast."

"I'm ok Freckles," he told her.

"This is all my fault," she said, shaking her head.

"No it's not," he answered. "It ain't your fault or mine. That guy-he's crazy."

"That's why I'm gonna kill him," she replied. "Wait here...lemme go get you some ice."

Kate went into the kitchen and started getting ice. She felt someone come up behind her. She knew that it couldn't be Sawyer, so she turned around. Wayne was standing in front of her.

"Sawye-" she started, but he quickly covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shh," he hissed. "I have to tell you something. I'm not going to hurt you. Just be quiet. Can you do that for me?"

Kate took a shallow breath and pushed against him. He continued to cover her mouth with his hand. She didn't answer him, but continued to stare at him. She was whimpering quietly.

"If you scream I will kill him. Don't think for a second that I'm lying," Wayne stated. "Do you believe me?"

Kate nodded slowly and let the tears slip down her cheeks. He continued to cover her mouth and lead her over to a chair. He forced her to sit down and looked at her seriously.

"Now, are you gonna be a good girl and keep your voice quiet, so that your boyfriend can live?" he asked. She took a deep breath and nodded again. He let go of her carefully and sat down next to her. She stared at him. She was obviously seething with rage, but she kept her mouth shut and waited for Wayne to talk.

"I found this," he began. "About 2 years ago. You're mom was keeping it from me. And you too. When I confronted her about it she told me the truth, but she wanted me to keep it from you...I suppose to protect you, but-"

He shoved a piece of paper at her. She looked down at the piece of paper and started to read. It was a letter from her mother to her father.

Dear Sam,  
I'm pregnant. I know that you are going to make a wonderful father. I also know that this baby might not be yours. I'm praying that it is, but...it might be Wayne's. I love him. I fell in love with him. I'm so sorry. But I hope that you'll stay for the sake of your baby.  
Love Diane

"Ok what does this have to do with anything?" she asked. He handed her a second piece of paper. She read it. This time it was a birth certificate. The place where it said Father, said Wayne Thompson. There was no actual signature.

"Wh-what is this?" she gulped.

"I am your father," he said. "She kept it from all of us. Sam only knew because well...he wasn't around. You're mama-she was real lonely while he was away at war. I was there to comfort her...in every way. I'm your real father."

"No," she shook her head. "You're lying."

She started crying harder. She knew that he was telling the truth. She looked back down at the piece of paper and dropped it on the floor.

"You're mine," he whispered, leaning closer to her. She quickly stood up and went over to the sink. She dry heaved a couple times, and then threw up. Wayne came up behind her and held her hair back. She shoved him back.

"Get the hell out of this house," she whispered. "If you ever come back-ever. I will kill you. You will regret it with everything you have."

"Ok baby," he said. "I know you're probably just in shock...but tonight when you're back in the Shephard's house...safe in your boyfriend's arms. I'm going to come back here and make love to your mother all night long."

Kate sneered at him, and he left the house. She took a deep breath and went back to the freezer. She collected some ice and went back to where Sawyer was sitting on her bedroom floor.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

"Oh...I just had to go to the bathroom. I don't really feel good," she answered quietly. She held the ice to Sawyer's eye gently. She started to examine his face and kissed the bruises that looked particularly painful.

"Better?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Now it's your turn. What happened in the kitchen? I heard you talking to someone...just talk to me."

"Wayne," she said breathing deep and feeling that she was going to cry all over again.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "My mom did...Wayne's-Wayne's my dad. My real dad. My mom cheated on my dad...that's why they got a divorce when I was 7...but she cheated on him before I was born. My dad stayed for 7 years...knowing that I wasn't really his. Wayne's my dad."

"No he's not," Sawyer answered. "A dad is someone who protects you and takes care of you...Sam is your father...he may not be around for a year, but he's still the best dad that you'll ever have. Don't you forget that."

"Thanks Sawyer," she whispered. "I really-really needed to hear that."

"Come 'ere," he said. She leaned against him. He held her tightly in his arms and didn't move much. She started to cry again. He sighed and stood up.

"Where's the bathroom?" he asked. She pointed down the hall. He held out his hand for her to take. She stood up and followed him back to the bathroom.

"What are we doing?" she asked, with a small chuckle.

"Come here," he whispered. She walked over to where he was standing by the sink. He turned the water on and splashed her face with cool water. She leaned against him again and sunk down to the floor again.

"It can't be true," she said quietly. "He can't be my father. I don't understand. Why? Why would he-if he's my dad why would he hit me? Why would he call me beautiful and touch my face the way he does?"

"I dunno Freckles," he mumbled. She looked up at him, and realized that his lip was bleeding from where Wayne hit him. She pulled herself up and took the wash cloth that was sitting on the side of the sink. She ran the water over it and then knelt back down to held it to his lip. He winced slightly.

"Sorry," she murmured. She took the wash cloth away and kissed his lip.

"Hmm," he began. "That was a lot better."

"I need to brush my teeth," she told him. "And take a shower. I feel so dirty." She stood back up and began to brush her teeth. Sawyer came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"So are we going to school?" he asked. "Or should we just spend the day here?"

"I think you already know the answer to that one," she replied. "But I'm going to take a shower first."

"Hmm, you want company?" he asked. She glared at him. "I'm only joking. Ok so why don't you just come back to your room?"

"No," she shook her head. "I have to get him off of me. I feel like he's inside me." She began to cry again. Sawyer stepped forward and went to hug her. She turned away from him and walked toward the bathtub.

"Kate," he whispered. "It's ok. Come here."

"No," she sniffled. "I just really need to be alone right now ok? Please-"

"I don't think-" he started.

"Go!" she exclaimed. "Leave me alone!"

He backed slowly out of the bathroom and started down the hall. Kate knew that she shouldn't push him away. He was the only person that had ever stuck up to Wayne for her. She was confident that Jack would if she had ever let him, but since she didn't...she sighed heavily and followed Sawyer out of the bathroom.

"Wait," she half sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm so...so sorry. I just-I can't do anything right. I always mess everything up."

"You ain't messin' nothin' up," he whispered. "You're allowed to be pissed and you're allowed to kick me out of the bathroom."

"Stop," she shook her head.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Stop being so amazing," she chuckled. "I don't deserve you. I'm just-I'm part of him-do you know how hard that is? I'm a horrible person."

"Kate stop it," he grabbed her by the face. "You are _not_ a horrible person. Wayne is. Wayne is not part of you."

"Yes he is," she sobbed. He took a deep breath and hesitated before stepping toward her and bringing her into a hug.

"You're not him," he whispered. "You are this sweet, amazing person Kate. Don't let a jerk like that ruin who you are."

"I love you," she told him. "I love you so much. I'm so glad that you were here."

"Me too," he said. "You can go take your shower now...I'll be here when you're done."

"No," she shook her head. She took him by the hand and pulled him back into the bathroom.

She took her robe off and quickly got into the the shower. Sawyer followed her. She wrapped her arms around him. He stroked her hair and ran his fingers across her back and arms. He helped her wash her hair. They didn't stay in the shower for very long. Kate laid down in the bed and covered herself with the bed sheet. Sawyer crawled over to the bed next to her. They spent the rest of the day in bed. They got out of bed once to make lunch. They spent the duration of the day making love and holding each other.

"How's your face?" Kate asked. She ran her fingers across his black eye and his lip.

"It's ok," he shrugged. "Your father hits like a girl."

Kate punched him jokingly, but still hard in the chest.

"Ooh," he stated. "You obviously didn't get your hitting from your dad."

"Shut up!" she exclaimed, she wasn't really mad, but she wasn't exactly happy. "You're supposed to make me feel better."

"Hey, I already told you that you don't have an ounce of Wayne in you," he replied. "It don't matter that-I'm just trying to assure you that you're nothing like him."

"Ok," she nodded. "But still. Can we not make jokes about it yet?...I'm just not really ready yet."

"Yeah yeah ok," he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Kate interrupted him.

"Shh," she whispered. "I think I just heard the door open."

"You know you should really lock your front door-" Sawyer began again.

"Shh!" she exclaimed again. She listened carefully. They could both hear footsteps.

"Kate!" Jack's voice chimed through the house. Kate's eyes went wide, she started getting out of the bed to put her robe back on, but the door was wide open and she could hear Jack coming down the hall, so she laid back down and covered herself with the blanket. "Kate are you ok?"

She hid her face in Sawyer's chest. She was both stiffling her laughter and embarrassed for what Jack was going to walk in on.

"Hold on Doc!" Sawyer exclaimed. "She just got out of the shower!"

Sawyer pulled the blankets over them, to cover them more, but it was definitely evident that they were both naked. Jack walked into the room, even after Sawyer told him that she just got out of the shower.

"Then why are you in here-" Jack asked as he walked into the room."Sorry." He quickly started leaving the room.

"Jack!" Kate yelled. "Wait!"

She jumped out of the bed and threw her robe back around herself. She ended up catching up to Jack as he was walking out of the door.

"I was just worried about you," Jack told her. "You weren't in school. I thought something might have happened...and I see that something did happen."

"Jack," she started. "We were just-"

"No, it's ok," he replied. "I get it...you love him right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I think I do...I mean-yeah. I've never felt this way about anyone. I love him."

"Then that's enough. Are you guys coming home tonight or are you just staying here?" he asked.

"We're coming back to your house," she answered. "In fact we'll probably just come now. I mean we spent the entir-"

"I don't need any details Kate," Jack chuckled. "I'll see you in a few minutes then?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "We'll be over soon."

"Ok," he replied. "I'll tell my parents. I mean-not what you and Sawyer-not about-just that you're ok, and you'll be coming back home tonight."

"Ok," she chuckled. "Thanks Jack."

Kate went back into the bedroom and told Sawyer that they should go back to the Shephard's house. They were walking back out of the house and Diane was pulling into the driveway.

"Katherine!" Diane exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to come over after school."

"Yeah well I didn't feel so good today, so-I just came here-You know what no...I'm not going to lie. Last night dad brought me back here. I spent the night here by myself, and then this morning Sawyer found me here. I was pretty upset about dad leaving so we just-"

"Kate," Sawyer started, worried that she was going to tell her mom about them.

"We just spent the day here...taking care of each other. Now-I'm going home and Jack and Sawyer are both going to take care of me...I'm not feeling very well right now."

"I can take care of you," Diane replied. "Well I can take care of you till I have to go to work. I'm going back to work at around 10:00pm...Wayne actually came to see me too...he came right after you and your dad left last night...he's going to spend the night at home tonight. He's going out with a couple of his friends, and then he'll be home. He'll probably be home after I already leave for work."

"Mom, I thought you said you were going to be home around 10 this morning?" she asked. "Where were you?"

"I just-Your dad came to see me at 10...we spent most of today talking...about our beautiful daughter."

"Mom the jig's up," Kate mumbled. "Wayne came to see me today...he told me-he gave me my real birth certificate...I know. That would be why I'm not feeling so great."

"He's-he's not," Diane shook her head. "He was trying to upset you. He's trying to make you hate me."

"Well it worked...why would you want to stay with a guy who wants your own daughter to hate you? He is my father though...isn't he?" Kate answered. "Don't lie to me! Is Wayne my real dad?...just tell me the truth."

"Sam is your dad," she replied. "Sam has been your daddy for 17 years. You just-Wayne is the reason that you're alive. Wayne is your birth father...but it's ok, you don't have to call him dad."

"Oh. Don't worry...wasn't planing on it," Kate sneered. "How could you do this to me? How? You know how much I hate Wayne...and now I'm part of him? It makes me wanna-well I left the sink for you to clean up mom. Goodbye."

She walked away, slightly in a daze. Sawyer looked at Diane, not really knowing what to say or how to say it. He followed Kate close behind.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I feel like everything is falling a part...except us."

"You're so sappy," he stated. "Don't worry. Everything is going to work out. I promise."

"You're right," she nodded. "And it's going to start with killing Wayne."

**A/N: Ok...so I really don't like this chapter that much, but the next chapter things will get better. I was going to just have Wayne walk in on Kate and Sawyer, but then I did also really like the idea of Jack catching them too. Anyway...please review and lemme know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: _The Other_-Yeah don't worry...Jack's not done being jealous. Anyway thanks to everyone for the reviews.**

That night Kate was laying in her bed thinking about everything that happened that day. She kept a picture of her father, Sam, in the table next to her bed. She sat up and took the picture out of the drawer and stared at it. There was a soft knock on her door. She got out of bed and opened the door. Margo was standing in front of her.

"There's someone here to see you," she told Kate.

"Who?" Kate asked. "Because if it's my mom or Wayne I don't want to see either of them."

"Well, he told me not to tell you because it's a surprise, but...your dad."

Kate ran from the room and down the stairs. Her dad was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Kate jumped into her dad's arms and hugged him tightly.

"I had to come say goodbye sweetie," he said.

"Don't leave," she sobbed. "I know everything...Wayne told me-but it doesn't matter...you're my daddy."

"Bastard," he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. "I hate Wayne...I think I hate him more than anyone else does. But-I'm glad that he told me. I just-I really felt stupid you know? For the past year and a half Wayne has been telling me that he was my dad and I always would tell him no...I was just so sure that you were my dad."

"Honey I am your dad," he said. "You're my little girl."

"Ok," she whispered. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too," he hugged her again and kissed her on the cheek. "I will write to you as soon as I can."

"I thought you said we couldn't have any communication," she stated.

"Well, if you think that's gonna stop me..." he smiled. "I'll write to you. Be good. I'm so sorry that you had to find out everything from him. We-your mom and I should have told you...a long time ago."

"I'm ok," she nodded. "My-Sawyer was there...he helped me through it."

"Sawyer huh?" he asked. "Who's Sawyer? A boyfriend?"

"Yeah," she answered. "He's staying here with the Shephard's too."

"Oh," he said. "And he treats you nice?"

"He's the best guy I've ever met," she replied. "He really took care of me today. I'll be thankful to him forever."

"Well I'm certainly glad that someone was there for you," Sam responded.

"Me too. I'll see you later dad."

"I love you," he said again. "Be good."

"Ok. Bye daddy," she said quietly. He hugged her once more and disappeared out of the door. Kate sighed and walked back up the stairs. As she turned the corner Sawyer grabbed on to her. She gasped loudly, not expecting it and pushed him off her.

"Sorry," he said, slightly hurt that she pushed him away.

"He's gone," she quietly told him.

"Your dad?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Am I really the best guy you've ever met?" he asked.

"You were listening to us?" she questioned.

"I was just-I was coming down the stairs and when I heard you two talking I decided not to interrupt."

"Ok," she nodded. She lifted herself onto her tip toes and kissed him softly. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah," he answered. "See you in the morning."

As they went into their rooms Kate stopped.

"Wait," she whispered. "Will you stay with me till I fall asleep? I know it's a lame question, but I just-I don't want to be alone. All I keep thinking about is Wayne-"

"Of course," he said. "As long as you don't mind getting caught."

"Well we'll just have to be careful."

Sawyer waited in Kate's room until she fell asleep. When he could hear her breathing rhytmically he slid out of the bed without waking her up. As he was heading back to his own room he heard Margo clearing her throat.

"Listen," he started. "Kate asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep. She's scared and upset-"

"It's alright," Margo replied. "I know that Kate has gone through a lot today. But I don't like sneakiness. I want you to tell me the truth. Are you in love with her?"

"Why does that even matter to you?" he asked. "It ain't any of your business."

Margo stared at him and waited for an answer.

"Fine," he shook his head. "Yes. Ok? I love her. I love her, and I need her...is that ok with you?"

"Good," she nodded. "Because she needs you. She and Jack have been best friends forever, but they aren't-she needs someone like you. Someone who will protect her."

"And you don't think Jack would?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Jack would...if Kate would talk to him about things...but since she doesn't. She talks to you-and you were there today when everything with Wayne happened. Kate is like a daughter to me. I've known her forever. She just needs someone to take care of her and love her...so I'm glad that you can be that for her."

"Well I need someone like that too. So-we're even. Goodnight Margo," he said.

"Yeah ok. Goodnight Sawyer."

Kate tossed and turned all night. In the morning when she woke up Jack was sitting next to her bed in a chair. She sat up and looked at him. He had a look on his face...she didn't know exactly what he was thinking, but she had a strong idea.

"Ok," she sighed. "What?"

"Just-do you need anything?" he asked. "I just-I know you're freaking about Wayne."

"Nah, I'm ok," she replied. "Thanks. Sawyer-"

"Yeah," he interrupted. "The wonderful Sawyer helped you deal. Got it."

He stood up and started to leave.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "Wait."

"For what?" he asked, turning back around. "For you to tell me how great Sawyer's been since yesterday. How he held you and helped you through the tough time? Kate, not even 3 months ago you would have come running over here. You would have sat on my floor listening to stupid music that you love...I would have been the one you would have turned to."

"Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean that you mean any less to me," she told him. "I love Sawyer...but you're my best friend. I want you to always be-"

"Kate," he sighed. "It's cool. I get it. I just-I miss you. I can remember when you would come spend hours in my room...and we'd just talk and be friends. Why don't we do that any more?"

"I don't know," she answered. "I'm sorry. You're right. We should hang out...just the two of us."

"Ok," he nodded. "How about tonight?"

"I can't," she stated. "I'm sorry-I just-Sawyer and I...we made plans for tonight. But tomorrow...definitely tomorrow?"

"Basketball practice," he mumbled. "I guess we'll just have to find time to pencil each other in."

"Jack just stop. I thought you were happy for us," she said. "I thought that you were glad we had each other."

"I am," he replied. "Of course. I just-I miss what we used to have. We used to tell each other everything."

"Not everything," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Didn't we? I never kept anything from you."

"Wayne-he hits me," she said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I figured that out when me and Sawyer came to save you."

"No," she shook her head. "That was nothing. He hits me, and he treats me like I'm some hot girl. I don't know how to explain it. He's never actually kissed me, but he's wanted to. I think he would if he had the chance."

"Why would you keep that from me?" he asked.

"Because I didn't need your pity. I can take care of my self," she answered. "I didn't want your help. I didn't want anyone to have to rescue me."

"Sawyer rescued you yesterday," he murmured.

"No," she responded. "It's not like that at all. He just happened to be there. He was with me, and he protected me."

"Ok," he replied. "I just wish you would have told me before now...this has been going on for over 10 years?"

"No," she stated. "It started about 3 years ago...got more intense 2 years ago...I guess when he found out that I was his daughter."

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Kate. Is there anything you want me to do?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "I'm ok. I will be at least."

That day while they were at school, Sawyer kept finding Kate and pulling her into short, but deep kisses. At lunch Kate and Sawyer found each other and were eating, when they both heard a loud voice. Sawyer turned first, and saw a small latina woman yelling at the lunch lady. She walked away from the lunch line and sighed. Then she spotted Sawyer looking at her. She came walking quickly over to them.

"Jamie!" she exclaimed and jumped on his lap.

"Hey Ana," he said, somewhat tentitavely.

"I thought you were dead," she sighed. She kissed him deeply. "We all thought you were dead. Even Bobby and Joey...they left you to die in that ally. But you're ok?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm alright."

She went to kiss him again, and he pushed her back. Kate was looking at them both. She didn't really know what to say or how to react, but she was waiting for Sawyer to say something.

"Sawyer," Kate cleared her throat. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Ana Lucia," he answered. "She-we were."

"Let's just say we were friends with amazing benefits," Ana stated. "Who are you?"

"This is my friend Kate," he said. The way he said friend made Kate cringe. She looked at Sawyer in awe and turned back toward Ana.

"Girlfriend," she replied. "I'm his girlfriend...or at least I was."

She stood up and walked away from the table. As she walked out of the cafeteria Sawyer sighed. Kate lifted her hand to her mouth and let out a soft sob. There were no tears yet, but she could feel that she was going to start crying. She wasn't looking where she was going, and she bumped into Jack. She wrapped her arms around Jack and took a deep breath. He hugged her and then looked at her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "He acted-I don't know what he was doing, but he told his little friend that I was his friend. Do you know how insulting that feels?"

"Jack," Sawyer's voice started. "Can I talk to Kate?"

Kate turned quickly toward Jack and began to kiss him. Jack backed away and stared at her...not knowing how to react. She looked down at her feet in deep embarrasment. She didn't look at Sawyer. Jack looked at her to ask if it was ok if he left. She didn't respond, or move

"Kate, come on," Sawyer scoffed. "Let me talk to you."

"Fine," she sighed. "Jack, it's ok. I'll see you later ok?"

"You sure?" he asked. She nodded and looked at Sawyer. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for Sawyer to talk. As Jack walked away he patted Kate on the shoulder to reassure her. Sawyer sighed and stepped toward her. She looked at her feet and pouted. A small smile played at his lips. His smile widened and he began to laugh.

"Why are you laughing at me?" she asked, still pouting. She looked at him, looking both completely hurt and angry at the same time.

"Come on Freckles," he muttered. "It was just awkward. Ex-girlfriend meeting the new girlfriend."

"I thought she was your friend with benefits," she stated.

"Well that's what we called it, but we spent pretty much every night together-"

"I really don't want to hear about the details of your sex life," she stated.

"No," he shook his head. "You don't understand. I'm just saying...that we spent a lot of time together. She was pretty much my girlfriend...we just never said it out loud."

"Ok, whatever...it doesn't matter. You acted like I wasn't even sitting there just now," she scoffed.

"I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just-I didn't want to hurt you for anything. I love you. Will you-will you just forgive me and come back into the cafeteria?"

"Why should I?" she asked.

"Because...Ana was in my past," he replied. "She doesn't mean anything to me anymore. And if you come with me I'll buy you a cookie."

"Ok," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain." He stepped toward her and kissed her on the lips.

"Before we go back in there though...promise you won't get mad," he stared.

"What?" she asked, sounding somewhat skeptical.

"Ana-she wants to hang out tonight," he replied. "I told her that she could come hang with us. Is that ok?"

"Well I guess...but I told Jack that you and I were doing something together. I mean I would have invited Jack if I had known."

"Well we are gonna be at his house...you still have time to invite him," he responded.

"Fine," she sighed.

That night Sawyer and Ana were sitting on the floor swapping stories. Kate tried her best to stay interested, but it was difficult. She was sitting on the couch with Jack. Jack could tell that she was unhappy, but he kept his mouth shut. She looked over at Jack and a smile began to play at her lips. She knew that Jack was just as uncomfortable as she was.

"We used to have great times too," Kate stated. "We've known each other our whole lives."

"Yeah, but do you actually _know_ each other?" Ana asked raising her eyebrows. "Cuz me and Jamie...we _knew _each other pretty much every night."

"You're a real bitch you know that?" Kate questioned.

"Yeah I do know that," Ana said.

Jack stood up and left the room. Kate looked down at Sawyer and Ana. Ana had a hold of Sawyer's hand. Kate sighed deeply and stood up.

"Keep your bitchy hands off my boyfriend," Kate said through gritted teeth.

"And if I don't?" she asked. Kate punched Ana in the face and walked angerly out of the room. She went into her room and sat down on the floor. She reached under her bed and pulled out a picture of her and Sawyer. It was the only picture that they had ever taken. It was of them laying on her bed. Sawyer had taken the picture by holding his arms out. She looked at the picture for a minute longer and then shoved it back under the bed. She laid down and pressed her face against the floor. She had only been in her room for 10 minutes when she heard the door swing open. She turned over and looked toward the door. Sawyer was standing in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked pissed. He stepped toward her and forced her to stand. Then he shoved her on to the bed.

"What the hell is your problem?" he asked. She trembled visibly and looked up at him in awe. He reminded her of Wayne. She stood up quickly and pushed against him.

"Get out!" she yelled.

"No!" he yelled back. He grabbed onto her shoulders. She winced slightly. It didn't really hurt, but the way he was acting, scared her to death.

"You're scaring me," she whispered. He let go of her and shook his head. She sat down on the bed and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "But what the hell is going on?"

"Can't you tell?" she asked. "I'm being a jealous girly idiot. She knows everything about you. She knows what you're thinking. She's-"

"She's my Jack," he replied. "Don't you think I feel the same damn way every time you and Jack are in the same room. He's known you your entire life. I've only known Ana for a couple years. Jack knows everything about you. Jack knows you better than I ever will. I'm just some guy that-"

"That I fell in love with Sawyer," she said. "I care a lot about Jack, and it's true that he knows a lot about me, but I'm not in love with him."

"Ok," he stated. "You're not in love with Jack and I'm not in love with Ana."

"And she wouldn't keep her hands off of you. Why did you let her hold your hand and act like nothing had changed between the two of you?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shook his head. "I wish that I hadn't. I wish that I had told her no when she asked to hang out tonight."

"Where is she anyway?" Kate questioned.

"She's gone," he answered. "She didn't really feel like sticking around and getting hit again. I told her she should probably go home."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have hit her. I was just mad."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I noticed. But I guess she kind of deserved it. Believe me Freckles...I don't love her. I never did. You're my first love."

"You're mine too," she whispered. She stood up and gave him a hug. He kissed her softly. Kate walked over to the door and locked it.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm spending the night with my boyfriend," she replied. She lead Sawyer back over to the bed. They laid down and began to kiss. They both heard the door jiggle and then heard a hard knock on the door. Kate groaned soflty and went to the door. She opened the door slowly. Jack was standing in front of her.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," he stated. "I just wanted to see if you were ok. I think Ana Lucia left if it makes you feel any better."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm alright...I'm sorry that I kissed you earlier."

"I know," he replied. "I'm not."

"What?" she asked. He leaned toward her to kiss her. She turned her cheek and pushed him away gently.

"Sawyer," she whispered and stepped out of the way so Jack saw that Sawyer was in her room. "Look I-"

"You don't have to say anything," he mumbled. "I really feel stupid. I guess I was the only one who felt that spark when you kissed me today."

"Jack I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I was honestly too mad to feel anything. I care about you so much. You're my best friend. But I just don't think of you in that way."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know. I'll let you go...I shouldn't have-What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," she responded. "It's ok. I'll see you in the morning ok?"

"Ok," he answered. "Goodnight."

Kate shut the door and turned back toward Sawyer. She shrugged her shoulders and walked toward the bed. He held out his hands for her to take. She smiled and sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry," she stated. "Kinda ruined the mood didn't it?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But not completely."

He leaned toward her and kissed her. She laid down with him and kissed him back. There was another knock on the door. Kate had forgotten to lock the door, and before either of them could answer the knock, the door swung open. Christian was standing in the doorway.

"Oh, sorry about that," he said. "I just wanted to say goodnight. I just-yeah...well goodnight."

"I really don't think this is going to happen tonight," Kate stated, after Christian left. "Maybe we should just wait till the family is gone."

"When's their next vacation?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno," she chuckled. "Probably never. We could go to my house though. Figure out when my mom and Wayne won't be there."

"Hmm," he said into her ear. "Well I should probably go right?"

"Yeah," she smiled, but was shaking her head. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he answered. He gave her one more kiss and got up to leave. She smiled at him as he disappeared through the door. She reached under her bed for the picture of her and Sawyer and proped it next to her bed on the end table. She looked at it before she closed her eyes to fall asleep.

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter. Pleaaassse review. The more reviews I get, the quicker I'll update. Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: _Lostinharrypotter_-You are hilarious! Your review made me laugh and say 'aw'. Thanks to all my loyal reviewers.**

Over the next few weeks Sawyer and Kate grew even closer. Jack and Kate spent some time together, but they continued to grow apart. Jack began hanging out with his basketball friends, while Kate would spend all her free time with Sawyer, and keeping him away from Ana Lucia.

Kate was sitting on her floor looking at her calendar. It had been over a month since her last period. She sighed deeply and threw the calendar across the room. Sawyer walked through the door and watched the calendar fall to the floor.

"Ok," he sighed. "Did the calendar give you a papercut...or was it something worse...switched the dates around."

"Shut up," she shook her head, and smiled.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine. I'm fine, especially now."

She stood up quickly and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him and pulled him over to the bed.

"Where are the Shephard's?" she asked.

"Well Jacko is hanging out with the jocks, and the parents are both gone...I don't know where they are...I'm guessin' the doc's at work, and Mrs. Doc is-somewhere else."

Kate smiled at him and kissed him harder than she normally would have. Sawyer wasn't sure why she acting so aggressive, but he wasn't going to complain.

She was laying next to him. His arms wer both tightly around her. He was resting his hands on her stomach. She took both of his hands and moved them higher up so they weren't near her stomach. She turned toward him and stared at his face. He looked back at her.

"What?" he asked.

"I need to go," she whispered. "I need to go to the drug store."

"Why?" he questioned. "Need some drugs?"

"I need something," she mumbled. "I'm gonna-I don't-I want-I think I'm pregnant."

"What?" he asked.

"I think-" she started.

"Yeah I heard you," he said. "What the hell does it mean? Why the hell are you tellin' me?"

"Why the hell do you think Sawyer," she scoffed.

"It don't matter," he mumbled. "It ain't mine."

"What do you mean it ain't yours?" she asked. "You mean I climbed on top of myself and got myself pregnant?"

"No I mean like...maybe it's late at night...you're feeling kinda cold and lonely...Jacko's room is right next door."

"Screw you," she stated shaking her head. "Get the hell out of my room."

She shoved him onto the floor and out of the bed. She stood up over him, and crossed her arms, telling him she was serious, and he better leave. Sawyer gladly left her room. She picked up the lamp on her bedside table and threw it against the door. It shattered onto the floor and so did she. She held on to the bedside table for support, but her knees crumpled beneath her. She grabbed the picture of her and Sawyer off the bedside table and ripped it into 2 pieces, 4, 8...She opened the drawer in the bedside table and reached for her lighter. She piled the pieces of the picture into a small mound and lit it on fire. She watched the pieces crumble and melt into each other. She grabbed her shoe that was sitting next to her and put out the small fire. There was a small black mark on the carpet where it began to burn through the floor. She got up and laid down in her bed. She sobbed herself to sleep. She wanted Sawyer to come back in her room and hold her, but at the same time she didn't want to ever see him again.

The next morning Kate went down the stairs. She walked over to the breakfast table where Sawyer was sitting. Jack, and Margo were there too. She assumed that Christian was still at work. Kate didn't look at Sawyer. She took a deep breath and turned toward Margo.

"Margo can I borrow your car?" Kate asked.

"Sure hon," Margo stated. "Do you want me to take you somewhere?"

"Actually, this is something I have to do alone," she answered. "I'll be back soon."

"Ok," Margo nodded. She handed Kate her car keys. Kate ran out of the house and toward the car.

"Kate wait!" Jack exclaimed.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "When I got home from David's I thought I heard crying coming from your room."

"I'm surprised you didn't walk in to find out what I was crying over," she mumbled. "I'm fine...Sawyer and I got into a fight. But I'll be fine."

"So are you broken up?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I don't know anything. I just have something that I have to do. I'll be back later."

"Like how long?" he asked.

"I don't know," she whispered. "An hour maybe. Just-I really need to be alone for a while ok?"

Kate went to the drug store and picked 4 different pregnancy tests. She went back to her own house and went into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath. She took the tests out of the plastic bag and looked at the directions. She took each one and set them on the side of the sink to wait. She kept looking at her watch hoping that it had been enough time. She looked at the first test...negative. She breathed in deep and put the test in the waste basket. She looked at the second one...negative. She put that one in the trash can too. The last two were negative. She sighed deeply and placed them in the trash can too. 4 tests...she wasn't pregnant. She heard the front door open and slam. She started to empty the trash can into the empty plastic bag and began to leave. It was too late. Wayne came into the bathroom just as she was leaving.

"What do you got there darlin'?" he asked.

"Trash," she swallowed.

"You came here to empty the trash?" he asked. "Show it to me."

"No," she answered. He grabbed the bag from her angerly and began to look through the trash.

"A pregnancy test?" he asked. He grabbed her by the hand and shoved her against the wall.

"Get your hands off me," she stated.

"No," he replied. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," she shook her head. "They aren't mine. Maybe my mom's pregnant."

"Shut up!" he screamed. He dragged her into the hall and still had his hand around her arm. She knew that he had a tight enough grip on her to make her bruise. He shoved her to the floor and punched her hard.

"Are they yours?" he asked.

"No," she said. He punched her again. This time, much harder than the first.

"Are they?" he asked again.

"Yes," she sobbed. "But they're negative."

"Yeah...well that's good you little slut. But I don't believe you," he stated. He dragged her into the kitchen.

"Let go of me," she begged. "What are you going to do?"

He grabbed a knife from inside a drawer and held it against her throat. She gasped loudly and swallowed. She began to sob.

"Please, get off me," she was only able to get out a whisper from her fear.

"No," he answered. He crawled on top of her and began to unbotton her pants.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What's it look like?" he replied. "You're a smart girl. Looks like you've had sex, so-"

"No," she struggled. "Get off of me."

They both struggled against each other. He punched her quite a few times, until finally she was unconcious. He kicked her twice more and then decided that he would leave, before Sawyer and Jack came to find her.

Little did Wayne know, that both Jack and Sawyer weren't looking for her. Jack knew that she wanted some time alone. Sawyer was still mad at her. He knew that he didn't really have a right to be mad, but he also knew that she wanted nothing to do with him at the moment.

It had been 2 and a half hours since Kate had left the Shephard's house. Jack decided that maybe he should go find her just in case something happened. And even though he knew Sawyer wouldn't want to cooperate he was going to ask if he had an idea of where Kate would have gone.

"Sawyer, Kate's been gone for almost 3 hours," Jack stated.

"Yeah, so?" he asked.

"Oh, come on," Jack replied. "You know that you're just as worried as I am. Do you have any idea of where she could have gone?"

"None," he shrugged.

"Sawyer, please?" he questioned.

"She's pregnant," he mumbled. "Or at least she thinks she is. She was going to go get a pregnancy test."

"But that wouldn't take 3 hours," Jack argued.

"I agree," Sawyer answered. "But maybe it was positive and she didn't want to come home right away."

Jack and Sawyer both went outside. Jack was planning on using his mom's car to go look for her, and then he remembered that Kate had the car. Sawyer looked over toward Kate's house and saw that Margo's car was in the driveway at Kate's house.

"Jack," he whispered.

"Oh," Jack nodded.

"I'll go see if she's ok," Sawyer mumbled.

"Ok, but I'm gonna follow, because right now, she might need me more than you."

"Whatever," he replied. "Let's just go."

Sawyer went into the house first and saw Kate laying on the floor unconcious. Her nose was bleeding, and so was her mouth. She had a scrape across her neck where the knife had dug into her. It wasn't bleeding badly, but Sawyer knew someone...Wayne had tried to slit her throat. He rushed toward her.

"Oh jeez," he whispered. "Jack!"

Jack walked into the house too and watched as Sawyer went to move Kate.

"Don't!" he exclaimed. "Don't move her. She might have hit her head."

"You mean HE might have hit her head," he mumbled. "God...this is all my fault. If I had just-she never would have come here."

"I'm gonna call an abulence," Jack sighed. Sawyer looked over and noticed the pregnancy tests that were now all over the floor. Sawyer began to pick the trash up and looked at the tests. He brushed his hand across her hair.

"You have to be ok Freckles," he whispered.

"Sawyer?" Kate said just above a whisper. It was barely audible, but both Sawyer and Jack looked at her.

"Shh," he replied. "You're gonna be ok. Jack went to call 9-1-1."

"I'm sorry," she half sobbed.

"Shh," he repeated. "Don't talk. You're hurt."

"I'm not pregnant," she told him. "Wayne didn't believe me."

"Kate," Sawyer began. He laid down on the floor next to her and brushed her hair out of her face. "Wayne is going to pay for this. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have-I should have been here with you. I could have protected you."

"No," she groaned. She breathed in deep and winced again. Sawyer looked over at Jack who was still on the phone.

"Hurry it up will ya?" he asked. Jack nodded, and continued to talk to the operator. All three of them heard sirens and Jack finally hung up.

"The lady wanted me to stay on the phone till they got here."

Jack went outside to let the paramedics in the house. They began to work on Kate. They shoved Sawyer out of the way, who immediately pushed back and went back to Kate's side.

"Don't even think about it," Sawyer stated.

"Sir, you need to get out of the way and let us work," the first paramedic said.

They all went over to the ambulence and loaded Kate inside. Both Jack and Sawyer went to get into the ambulence.

"We can only take one of you," the paramedic told them.

"You're gonna take both of us," Sawyer said. "You will let us both come."

"Son we need to take care of her, and you need to let us," he answered.

"Then lets go," Jack responded, pushing into the abulence. Sawyer followed closely and held on tightly to Kate's hand. Kate squeezed his hand back. The paramedic didn't look happy, but they allowed them to both stay.

Jack and Sawyer waited in the waiting room. Sawyer sat with his elbows resting on his knees. He was holding his hands in tight fists. Jack was pacing in front of him. Back, and forth. After he passed Sawyer for the 10th times Sawyer sat up all the way.

"Jeez Jacko, you mind sitting down? You're making me nervous," Sawyer mumbled.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Sorry. She'll be ok though. She has to be. Besides...she was awake. That's a good sign."

"Are you just saying that so I'll stop worrying? Cuz it ain't gonna work," Sawyer replied.

"Sawyer, this wasn't your fault," Jack said. "I know you blame yourself, but-it's not your fault...it's Wayne's fault."

"Yeah," he whispered. "But she would have never gone over there if I hadn't pushed her away. I sort of...I accused her of cheating on me, with you."

"Why would you go and do something so stupid?" Jack asked. "You are the only thing she talks about when you're not around...you know? We've been having 'alone' time or whatever...but it's more like 'Kate-talks-about-Sawyer' time."

"Well, I didn't really think that she was cheating on me," he answered. "But...when she told me she might be pregnant I might have freaked out a little bit. Anyway...if I hadn't-she wouldn't be here right now. She'd be back at your house...probably boring you to death with how much she loves me."

"Don't worry man," Jack stated, patting Sawyer on the shoulder. "She's gonna be ok."

"She damn well better be or I'm gonna kill Wayne twice."

Sawyer and Jack waited for another 30 minutes until a doctor walked over to them.

"Are you waiting for Katherine Austen?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jack answered standing up. "Can we go in and see her?"

"Family only," the doctor answered.

"We're her brothers," Sawyer told the guy. He pushed past the doctor and walked down the hall. He peeked his head into each room trying to find her. Finally he found her and walked quickly into the room.

"Kate," he whispered. He leaned down and hugged her gently. "How are you?"

"I'm ok," she replied. "I'll be ok. I feel better. Can I go home soon?"

"I dunno Freckles," he said. He grabbed onto her hand.

"Is Jack here?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "He's out there talkin' to the doc."

Jack and the doctor walked into the room. Jack walked to Kate's other side and took her by the other hand. He kissed her on the forehead.

"Hey," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she answered. "I wanna go home. Can I please just go home?"

"We have to keep you here over night," the doctor replied. "We just have to make sure that you're ok. You took quite a fall."

"A fall?" Sawyer asked. "Hello! You're a doctor ain't ya? She was beaten to a pulp by her psycho step father."

"Sir, please calm down," the doctor responded calmly. "We understand that she was beaten, but she was also fell and landed on her head."

"How do you know?" he asked. "The guy held a knife against her throat. He beat her nearly to death."

"We need to keep her over night sir. Just to make sure everything is ok...is that ok with you?" he asked. "It's for her own safety."

"Well also for her own safety, I ain't leaving," he replied. "I'm going to stay right here with her."

"Sir, we can't allow that," the man answered.

"She's a minor...she's allowed to have someone stay with her," Jack stated. "My dad's a doctor...I know these things."

"That sounds real intelligent Jacko," Sawyer smirked.

"I'm just trying to help," he sighed. "Can someone stay with her or not?"

"It has to be a legal guardian that stays with her...not just one of her 'brothers'."

"Well our legal guardian is the one who did this to her," Sawyer answered. "I'm the only thing she's got left who's half way sane. So if you won't let her come home I'm staying here. Whether you like it or not...I'll just sneak back in hear after visiting hours...one way or another, I'm not leaving."

"I'll go talk to the other doctor who's treating her to find out if she can be let go a little early," he muttered. He walked from the room and Kate smiled at Sawyer.

"Thank you," she whispered. "What are we gonna do now?"

"Well I'm gonna go kill Wayne," he answered.

**A/N: Ok so I hope you guys all liked this chapter. I'm so sad about the writers strike! For those of you who didn't hear about it...well pretty much every show is going to be taking breaks because of the writers going on strike. Lost only has 8 of the 16 episodes written. I don't really know how everything is going to work, but I'm just hoping the strike ends soon so that the episodes get written! Anyway please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

Kate was laying in bed. She had only been home for a couple hours. Sawyer went into the room and sat down in a chair next to her bed. She looked at him and smiled the best she could. 

"Sawyer," she began.

"Shh," he whispered. "You don't have to say anything."

"I miss you," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "We were only apart for a day."

"I know," she nodded. "I just want you to hold me and-I love you Sawyer...I would never cheat on you...ever."

"I know," he answered. He stood up and got into bed next to Kate. He wrapped his arms around her gently, trying not to hurt her further. She sobbed onto his chest.

"He was going to-" she started. "I don't think he did, but he would have-"

"What darlin'?" he asked.

"I think he wanted to rape me," she said quietly. "I don't think that he did, but he wanted to...I kept falling asleep-losing conciousness."

He sighed deeply and held her closely. She had stopped crying, but was breathing heavily. She looked up at him.

"Were you serious?" she asked.

"Serious about what?"

"When you said that you were going to kill Wayne? You aren't going to, are you?" she questioned.

"Yes I am," he nodded. "He's gotta pay. And I'm gonna beat the hell out of him, till he's not breathing-till he's dead."

"Sawyer, don't," she said quietly. "I can't lose you."

"You won't," he shook his head. "But I'm gonna make sure that psycho won't touch you again. I'm going to kill him."

"You can't," she replied. "You'll go to jail and have to leave me forever."

"I ain't gonna leave you," he told her. "I promise."

"Promise me that you're not going to kill him," she whispered.

"I can't," he answered. "He deserves to die for what he did to you...for what he's done to you in the past."

"Don't," she shook her head. "Please-just-don't-Sawyer..."

Kate was now crying so hard that she wasn't taking a breath. Sawyer hushed her quietly and rubbed her back.

"Take a breath Kate," he said quietly. She did, but she didn't stop crying. She leaned against Sawyer and then turned away with her back to him.

"Can you just-will you leave me alone now?" she asked quietly. "I just-I need you to leave."

"Ok," he whispered. "Just, get some rest I guess."

He kissed her softly on the cheek. He got out of the bed and headed toward the door.

"No!" she said loudly. "Don't leave me."

He turned back and went back toward her. She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed on his shoulder again. He sighed deeply and hugged her back. He brushed her hair out of her face and looked at her.

"Don't look at me," she sniffled. "I'm a mess."

"You're perfect," he whispered.

"I'm so scared," she said. "I feel like-I feel like he's gonna come back to get me."

"That's why I want to kill him," He mumbled.

"No!" she screamed.

"Ok," he whispered. "Alright hon. I'm here. Shh."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head.

"Kate, stop," he said. "Just calm down, and sleep. I'll stay here for the night. Just-you're making yourself crazy."

"Yeah," she answered. "You're right. You won't leave?"

"Not even if you kick me out," he replied. Kate smiled slowly and closed her eyes. She snuggled against him and let out a breath. He stroked her hair and waited for her to fall asleep. He didn't fall asleep. He was planning on staying awake for the entire night.

_Sawyer was sleeping. The door opened slowly. Kate tapped Sawyer on the shoulder to try to get him to wake up. It didn't work. He didn't even stir. She kept trying, more viggorously, but nothing was working._

_Wayne stepped toward her. He had a look on his face that made Kate cringe. He pushed Sawyer onto the floor. He still didn't wake up. Wayne got into the bed next to her._

_"No!" she screamed. "Don't."_

Kate was thrashing violently. Sawyer tightened his arms around her. Her arms were moving so much that she got out of his grasp.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Wake up! It's ok."

Finally she woke up and pushed Sawyer away, unsure of what was going on. He looked at her slightly confused. She didn't move toward him, but stayed still, staring at him.

"Can you please leave?" she asked. "I know I've been acting like a crazy person today, but I just really need to be alone."

"No can do sweetheart," he answered. "You told me earlier to stay with you...I promised I would stay, even if you tried to kick me out."

"It's ok," she whispered. "I really do want you to leave now...you shouldn't have to deal with me when I'm like this."

"Kate, shut up," he told her. "I'm not leaving...so you can just forget about it ok?"

* * *

Over the next couple days Kate stayed in her room. Sawyer was with her as much as possible, but Margo forced him to go to school. Jack was afraid to talk to Kate. He knew that she had been through a lot and he didn't want to make things worse. Shannon and Hurley both came to see Kate, but she didn't feel up to seeing anyone.

Sawyer was sitting at the lunch table. Shannon was sitting with him, asking him all sorts of questions about Kate, and how she was doing.

"I feel like beating the crap out of that asshole," Shannon sighed.

"Believe me, you're not the only one...but I promised Kate."

"You promised her what?" she asked.

"That I wouldn't kill him," he answered. "I just-I wish I could do something. She has these nightmares...every night...I just-I can't stand to see her like that."

"I've never seen her so defeted," she said. "She always comes to school. It doesn't matter if she has a blackeye or the flu...she never lets anything stop her from living her life."

"Didja ever think that maybe the reason she never stayed at home when she was sick, was because of Wayne?" he asked.

"I guess not," she whispered. She looked pretty upset, almost like she was blaming herself.

"It ain't your fault Blondie," he mumbled.

"I can still feel guilty," she stated. "I mean, I know that Jack is her best friend...but she's mine. She doesn't even want to see me."

Ana Lucia walked over to where they were sitting and sat down next to him. She looked at him for a minute. Sawyer knew that she probably felt at least a little guilty.

"Is she ok?" she asked.

"She'll be fine," he answered. "She's pretty shaken up...but she'll be fine."

"Did she break any bones?" she asked.

"No," he replied. "_Wayne _didn't break any of her bones...thank god. He just bruised her face...he kicked her a couple times in the stomach, but other than that he mainly concentrated on her face."

"I bet she looks like crap," Ana said quietly. She wasn't trying to be a bitch, she was only trying to lighten the mood.

"She's still my gorgeous Freckles," he whispered.

"Wow," Ana replied. "You really do love her don't you?"

"What was your first clue?" he asked.

"I really thought you were just trying to-" she started.

"Get in her pants?" he finished the thought. "Well you were wrong. I'm in love with her. And I'm sorry Ana but I really can't see you any more. I know that you probably will back off me now anyway, but Kate-I can't hurt her any more than I already have."

"You aren't allowed to have friends?" she asked.

"Ana, you know that we'll never be friends," he responded. "It's not your fault...it's just what we both do. So-maybe when things cool down a little...maybe when the two of you can be friends-we can be friends again too."

* * *

Sawyer went into the house. Kate was standing in front of him. She looked a lot better. She smiled at him. He smiled too and stepped toward her.

"You feelin' better?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I feel much better. Come here."

He stepped closer. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply. He kissed her back, but backed away quickly.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"No one's home," she answered quietly. She stood up on her toes and kissed him again. "We're alone, for the next couple hours, and since I'm feeling better..."

"You sure that's a good idea?" he asked. "Your feeling that much better?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I feel much better."

She jumped into his arms and smiled at him. He smiled too, and carried her back to the bedroom.

* * *

Kate was laying in Sawyer's arms. She ran her fingers over his arm. He looked down at her and took a deep breath.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she responded. "What about you? You seem to be-I don't know, kind of...distant."

"I'm laying right next to you Freckles," he answered.

"Yeah," she said. "But are you really? What's going on?"

"Nothin'," he stated. "I'm just-I can't stand that he hurt you."

"But I'm ok now," she replied. "I'm fine. I know that you're still worried, but I'm really ok. And I don't think that he's gonna come near me again."

"Yeah, well what if he does?" he asked. "I obviously can't protect you all the time."

"I don't need you to," she answered. "I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, you did a dandy job of that when he was using your face as a punching back," he sighed.

"Why can't we just be happy?" she scoffed. "I mean-I'm laying here in your arms and I always feel so safe when I'm with you...why do you have to ruin it by bringing Wayne up?"

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I'm glad that you feel safe with me, because I will always protect you when I can. But Wayne-I don't think he'll leave you alone."

"I don't get it," she said. "I don't understand why he does it. Why would he hit me after he found out I was his daughter. How could you ever hit your own kid?"

"I dunno Freckles," he responded. "How could anyone kill the woman they claimed to love?"

She put her hand against his cheek, and gave him a sad look. She didn't know what was worse...having your father kill your mother and himself right in front of you, or having your real dad beat you up for no reason. She kissed him softly and snuggled against him again.

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much. I'm so glad that I met you."

"I love you too," he replied. "I'm not gonna go looking for Wayne or anything, but if he ever comes near you again...I know that you don't want me to kill him, but can I at least punch him in the face?"

"Sure," she chuckled.

**A/N: Ok, so I'm gonna take some time to write the next chapter. I'm actually kind of running out of ideas. So any ideas that you guys have, would be great. Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a couple weeks. Kate had recovered for the most part. She was still a little bruised, but she was feeling much better. She and Jack had continued to grow a part. They hadn't talked in 2 and a half weeks. Jack was avoiding Kate completely. She was ok because she still had Sawyer...kind of. Sawyer was also pulling away from her. He hadn't touched her or even kissed her since they made love 2 weeks ago. She knew that it was a mix between the pregnancy scare and Wayne beating the crap out of her. She just hoped that they could get things back to what they were.

Kate walked over to Sawyer in the lunch room. She put her arms around him and kissed his cheek. He turned his cheek away from her and lifted her arms off of him.

"What's the matter?" Kate asked.

"Nothin'," he replied. "I'm fine. Just...I'm not one for public displays of affection."

"You used to-," she started.

"Just drop it," he sighed. "I just need you to stop while we're here at school ok?"

"Ok," she whispered.

They were driving home. Kate was staring at Sawyer. She was willing him to look at her. When she was in bed, recovering from Wayne, he never left her side. He held her and was a great boyfriend...but now, he couldn't even look at her. She hesitated before taking him by the hand. He pulled his hand away and continued to stare at the road.

"Why are you so afraid to touch me?" she asked. "Ever since-ever since the last time we made love...you've been-you won't come near me."

"I don't-I don't want you to-," he started.

"Well spit it out!" she exclaimed.

"Shut up!" he yelled back. "Just let me think. You could have died...because of me touching you."

"What are you talking about?" she asked. "What happened had nothing to do-"

"Yes it did!" he replied. "It never would have happened if you hadn't thought you were pregnant. I just think we should cool it for a while. I'm just-neither of us are ready to have a baby...I can't even take care of you."

"Sawyer," she whispered. She reached over and touched his arm. He jerked it away, and nearly ran the car off the road. She gasped softly and folded her arms over her chest. She kept looking at him, hoping that he would say something, or even just look at her.

"Don't," he stated.

"Why not?" she asked. She frowned at him and then looked out of the window. The rest of the ride home was almost completely silent. When the car stopped Kate got out before it could come to a complete stop.

"Kate," he sighed. She ran up the steps and through the front door. Jack was sitting on the couch. He noticed that Kate looked pretty upset. He was still trying to avoid her, but when he noticed that Sawyer wasn't with her he walked toward her.

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"Like you care," she scoffed. "You haven't said 2 words to me since..."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I just-I just wanted to know if you were ok. What did he do?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Sawyer's just-well, Sawyer's just Sawyer."

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "Of course not. He would never hurt me...I just-he's just-"

"Kate, I need to talk to you," Sawyer stated, coming over to her.

"Sawyer, back off," Jack said.

"Kate, we need to talk!" Sawyer repeated. "Please."

"Now, you want to talk," she scoffed. "Sawyer, I can't-"

"I know," he nodded. "Please, just...let me talk to you. I need to talk to you!"

"Fine," she sighed. She folded her arms over her chest. "Talk."

"I know that I've been distant," he said. "But I have to-I want you all the time...but I can't have you."

"I'm right here," she said. "I've been here all the time. I'm not going anywhere. You can have me any time you want."

"But that's the problem," he replied. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Then why are you hurting me?" she asked.

"I already told you," he whispered. "You're going to get pregnant, and neither of us will be able to handle it."

"Well then we'll just have to be more careful," she told him. "We can just hold each other, and kiss...I mean right? I don't want to lose us."

"I don't either," he said. "But can we just talk? Please. I just really need to talk to you...not just about the two of us. About all three of us...alone."

"Kate, you're not seriously-" Jack began.

"Hey doc junior, you wanna stay out of this," Sawyer snapped. "This ain't your fight. This don't have nothin' to do with you."

"You just said it was about the three of us," he argued. "Whatever you have to say about me, you can just say to my face."

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "I need to talk to Kate. This is something I'm not gonna discuss with you in the room."

"I'm not letting you take her alone-" Jack started.

"I ain't gonna hurt her," Sawyer replied. "If you think I could ever hurt her you're insane."

"Both of you just shut the hell up! Stop fighting!" Kate exclaimed. "Jack, back off...Sawyer, you too. Can you just go wait in my room? I'll be there in a minute."

Sawyer nodded and left. Kate and Jack heard him stomp up the stairs and a door slammed. She turned toward Jack. They both looked apologetically at each other. Kate stepped toward him and took a deep breath.

"Listen," she whispered. "This isn't exactly-Jack, I know that you care about me...I know that you want to protect me...but I love him. Sawyer is everything to me. I have to at least hear what he has to say."

"Alright," he nodded. "You know where to find me when he breaks your heart."

"Jack," she closed her eyes. "He won't. He's not going to hurt me...he's not going to break my heart."

"He already did," he sighed.

"No," she shook her head. "It's just a misunderstanding. He-didn't you hear him. He's just scared. He's afraid...I just need to talk to him, alright?"

"Whatever," he mumbled. She sighed deeply and walked up the stairs. She opened her bedroom door. Sawyer wasn't there. She sighed again and walked over to his room. He was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I thought that you wanted to talk."

"I do," he answered. "I just wanted to see if you'd actually come find me. I needed to know if you actually loved me."

"Of course-" she began. "Sawyer, I can't...why are you doing this?"

"I'm trying-why can't you just hate me?" he asked. "It would be so much easier. If you hated me...you could be with Jack."

"Is that what all this is about?" she asked. "Are you still obsessing over the fact that you think I'm in love with Jack?"

"Well he's in love with you," he replied.

"No he's not," she shook her head.

"Are you blind, or just an idiot...or maybe you're both," he scoffed. "Every time he looks at you-it's killing him that you're with me...and if it came down to it...me or him, you'd have to pick him."

"You're wrong," she answered. "I wouldn't pick him."

"Don't lie to me Kate," he said. "If Wayne said that he was gonna kill one of us...me or Jack, you'd pick Jack."

"I don't know what I'd do," she sniffled. "I wouldn't know what to do. But I can't lose you. And I think it's really stupid that you're pushing me away just because you're afraid of what might happen. We can be together...we can be happy...and no one is asking me to chose between you and Jack, so I don't have to."

"I am," he replied. "I told Ana that we couldn't be friends. I gave up my friendship with her, for you."

"What?" she asked. "I never asked you to do that."

"I know," he nodded. "But I did. Could you do the same thing for me?"

"I can't believe you're asking me to do this," she scoffed. "You even told me that my friendship with Jack was totally different from what you had with Ana. Jack has been in my life forever. And I'm **_not_** going to just end my friendship with him because you're insecure."

"I have a right to be," he mumbled. "Jack wants you. Jack would be with you if you let him."

"But that's just it!" she exclaimed. "I'm not letting him. I won't let him. I love you Sawyer. Please-don't-if you loved me...you wouldn't be doing this to me."

"I guess I don't love you then," he replied. "Because I'm not stepping down on this. You can tell me your choice whenever."

"Jack," she said. "I choose Jack, because he would never make me choose."

She shook her head and left the room. She went into her own room. Little did she know, that Jack was listening in on the conversation. He immediately went into Kate's room. She was sitting on the floor staring at the ground. He kneeled in front of her.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I just don't understand," she sobbed. "I don't understand why he's doing this to me. I know that he loves me...but if he loves me as much as he says he does...why would he-"

"What did he say?" he questioned, in reality knowing exactly what he said.

"He said you were in love with me, and he didn't want me to be friends with you any more."

"I am," he replied. "Kate, I know we're friends...and we've been like brother and sister since we were born...but I'm in love with you."

"No," she shook her head. "No. You-you're not in love with me Jack. I mean you love me, but as your friend...you're not in love with me."

"I'm sick of lying," he answered. "I'm in love with you Kate. And since you chose me-"

"Wait," she interrupted. "How did you know I chose you? I didn't even finish telling you what happened."

"Well you're not in his room, so I just figured-"

"You were spying on us weren't you?" she asked. "You're gonna sit there and tell me that you're in love with me...and you want to be with me. No Jack. I can't do that-I can't do that to Sawyer."

"Why would you care about what Sawyer thinks?" he questioned.

"Because I don't want to hurt him," she answered. "As dumb as it sounds...I still love him. I don't love you Jack...not in the way you're talking about. And the only reason why I chose you is because I didn't want to lose our friendship. I love you Jack...but I'm not going to ever be with you."

"Ok," he whispered. "I don't know how we can stay friends now though."

"What?" she asked.

"I don't want to be just friends with you...so it's either all of me, or nothing."

"You can't be serious," she scoffed. "You're gonna do the same thing that Sawyer just did...give me some ultimatum?"

"Yes," he nodded. "So what's it gonna be? Are we gonna be together?"

"No!" she exclaimed. He stood up and left the room. Kate shook her head again. She didn't know if everything between her and Sawyer was completely screwed up now, but she knew she needed him. She needed someone to talk to...someone to tell her everything was ok. She stood up slowly. She went to Sawyer's room. She went in his room and sat down next to him.

"Get out," he shook his head. "You made your choice."

"No," she answered. "Jack-he and I aren't going to be friends...ever. I love you. I want to be with you Sawyer."

"Well that's too damn bad. I love you too, but I'm not just going to take you in my arms and love you, just because Jack rejected you."

"Actually it was exactly the opposite. I rejected him," she scoffed. "He told me that he wanted me. He told me he's in love with me...and that I needed to choose between being with him, or not having any of him."

"Hmm," he grunted.

"I told him I wasn't going to be with him," she answered.

"Well why the hell not?" Sawyer asked.

"Because I'm not in love with him you idiot!" she yelled. "I love you! I don't want to be with him. If I had to chose between you being my boyfriend, and him, it would be you every time. Hands down."

"Then why didn't you pick me to begin with?" he questioned. "If you love me..."

"You weren't asking me that!" she exclaimed. "You were telling me to stop being friends with him completely. But now I am...because of what he was asking me to choose. You know what? Never mind. Stay in here, and brood, and sulk. Whatever. I guess I'm completely single now. If anyone cares, I'm going over to Shannon's."

Kate ran from the house and down the street. Shannon's house was only 3 blocks down the street. By the time she got to Shannon's she was sobbing, and breathing heavily. She pounded on the door.

"Shan!" she yelled. "Please!"

The door opened. Boone, Shannon's step brother was standing in front of her.

"Kate, are you ok?" he asked. Kate fell into his arms and began to sob harder. He brought her into the house and called for Shannon. Shannon came down the stairs quickly.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Kate, what happened? Was it Wayne?"

"No," Kate breathed. "It wasn't Wayne. Sawyer-"

"What did he do?" Shannon asked.

"He-we broke up," she responded. "And Jack-he said he's in love with me."

"Finally," Boone replied.

"Boone shut up," Shannon scoffed. "Just go. Let me talk to Kate alone."

"So," Kate began. "Did everyone except me know that Jack's in love with me?"

"Well-" Shannon started.

"Pretty much since 9th grade," Boone interrupted. "You're a pretty smart girl Kate...I would think that you would have figured it out a while ago."

"Boone!" Shannon exclaimed. "I repeat...shut up!"

Boone smirked at the two girls and left the room. Kate looked at Shannon and shook her head.

"With Jack confessing his love to me, and Sawyer wanting nothing to do with me...I just had to get out of the house. Can I stay for a while?"

"Yeah, of course," Shannon replied.

Kate stayed with Shannon for a few more hours. Kate told Shannon everything that happened. Shannon tried to make Kate feel better, but nothing she was saying was making Kate feel much better.

"Maybe you should just go back," Shannon said. "I mean-you do love him. Maybe you should go back there and make him listen. You have to fight for who you love."

"Shannon," Kate chuckled. "You've never even been in love."

"I know, and what the hell do I know about love," Shannon stated. "But just trust me. You should go home and talk to...well at least talk to Sawyer."

"I just need some time," she answered. "But you're right. I should just go back."

"I'm sorry," Shannon sighed. "I acutally-I have to leave. I have to go to cheerleading practice. We're having a late practice tonight."

"Oh," she nodded. "Right. Sorry. You were trying to tell me to leave so I'll just...leave. Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry," Shannon said. "I just-I have to go...I'm captain. I'll be back later tonight if you still want to talk."

"Ok," she whispered. "Thanks Shan."

Kate walked back to the Shephard's house. She went up the stairs and hesitated before opening the front door.

"Kate!" Margo exclaimed and practically knocked her down with a bone crushing hug. "You're ok? Are the boys with you?"

"Margo-" Kate began. "The boys? They aren't here? What's-what happened?"

"I don't know," Margo answered. "I came home and everyone was gone. No note, no nothing."

"Oh my God," Kate whispered. Kate ran up the stairs. She looked in each of the rooms, almost checking to see if Margo missed something. She went into her own room. She noticed a note laying on her bed. Her hands were shaking as she picked it up and read.

**_Dear Katie,  
If you ever want to see them alive again, you'll come home now._**

**_Your Father_**

Kate put her hands to her mouth and sobbed silently. She sighed and ran out of the house.

"Kate, where are you going?!" Margo exclaimed. Kate didn't turn back as she ran towards her house.

**A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. I'm glad you guys are still enjoying the story. For those of you who love to hate Wayne he will be in the next chapter (If you haven't already figured that one out)...anyway please leave me wonderful reviews!**


	13. Chapter 13

Kate ran towards her house. She took a deep breath before she opened the door and went inside. 

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "Jack!"

She didn't hear any one. She didn't see anyone. She looked through the house and went into each room. There was no one there. She flopped down at the kitchen table and took another deep breath. She didn't know what to think or do. She felt someone step behind her and quickly turned toward the noise.

"You follow direction well," Wayne replied.

"Where are they!" she screamed. "You told me to come over and you wouldn't hurt them! Where are they?"

"Not here," he stated.

"What do you mean, they aren't here?" she asked. "You said they would be."

"No," he shook his head. "I didn't say that they'd be here...I said you should come here if you want them to live."

"W-what do you want me to do?" she asked. "Please-where are they?"

"Follow me," he said. She followed Wayne out of the house. Wayne opened a the car door for her. She reluctantly got into the car. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it would jump out of her chest. She waited for further instructions from Wayne. He didn't say anything, but he got into the car and began to drive. They had been driving for what seemed like forever. Really it had only been 15 minutes, but Kate was shaking with fear...hoping that Sawyer and Jack were ok. Wayne stopped the car and stared at her.

"We're here."

She looked around. There was a small house in front of her. She looked at Wayne, with a confused look. He got out of the car. She followed him into the house. They walked down the hallway. There were two rooms opposite of each other. Each of them had a gate for a door. Kate looked in on both rooms. Sawyer was in one, and Jack was in the other.

"Choose," Wayne said.

"What?" she asked.

"Which room?" he asked. "You get to pick the room you want to stay in. Which one?"

Kate didn't say anything. She looked from Sawyer to Jack. Jack was looking at his feet...he didn't even want to look at her. She looked back at Sawyer's room. He wasn't looking at her either, but Kate saw that he kept glancing up. She walked toward Sawyer's room and put her hands on the bars.

"Are you ok?" she whispered. He nodded, and put his hands on top of hers.

Wayne pushed Kate out of the way and unlocked the door. Before Kate or Sawyer could do or say anything Kate was shoved into the room. She landed on top of Sawyer and then quickly backed away from him. Wayne looked at the two of them and smirked, then looked over at Jack.

"Looks like she really did make her choice," Wayne stated. He raised a gun to Jack.

"No!" Kate screamed. "Don't! Please Wayne don't! I'll do anything. Just...don't."

"Fine," Wayne mumbled. "You got lucky Jack. But I'm not done with any of you."

Wayne smiled evilly at Kate and walked away. Kate looked across the hall and into Jack's room. He still wasn't looking at her. Kate looked at Sawyer, who was also looking away from her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"What is this place?" she whispered.

"Dunno," Sawyer mumbled. "I guess some house...Wayne must have been planning this. We've only been here a couple hours."

"I-Sawyer, I still love you," she choked. "I came back home to talk to you, and you and Jack were just gone-"

"Were you-" he began. "Promise me that you don't love him."

"I don't," she answered quietly. "I care about him...he's my best friend, or at least he was...but I don't love him. I love you."

"Ok," he nodded. "I believe you."

"Thanks," she whispered, and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Come 'ere," he sighed and opened his arms. She fell into his arms and breathed in deep. She could smell his cologne and it made her feel safe again. He stroked her hair and kissed her cheek.

"Great," Jack scoffed. He moved over so he was facing the wall. Kate sighed deeply and turned toward Sawyer.

"We're being watched," he told her.

"I don't think we are," she shook her head. "Jack's facing the wall."

"No," he argued. "There are cameras. Right there."

He pointed to the corner of the room. There was a camera pointed at them. Kate cuddled against Sawyer and breathed in deep again. Kate and Sawyer spent the next couple hours sitting with each other. Jack continued to look at the wall. They all heard movement coming down the hall. Kate backed away towards the wall. She looked at Sawyer.

"Food," Wayne said. He pushed a tray of food under each of their doors. Then he glanced at Kate...waiting for her to say something.

"What?" she finally stated.

"Come here," he replied, calling her over with his finger.

"No way," she answered. "Do you think I'm a complete idiot?"

"I said, come here," he said again, this time pulling a gun out and pointing it at Sawyer. Kate stood up and walked toward the door. Wayne reached a hand through the bars and took her hair in his hands. At first he was stroking it gently, and then he pulled it through the bars, holding on to it tightly.

"What do you want?" she whispered, and wimpered at the same time.

"I want you to choose. I think they both wish that you would make a choice too."

"I'm not going to choose between my boyfriend and my best friend. If you really want to hurt someone or kill someone...then take me."

"No!" Sawyer yelled. He ran toward her and tried to pry Wayne's hand off of her hair. Wayne reached through the bars, and hit Sawyer in the face with the butt of the gun.

"Sawyer!" Kate sobbed.

"I'm alright Freckles," he groaned. He reached up and wiped the blood from his head. She looked at Wayne and he smiled again.

"Make your choice Freckles," Wayne said, mocking Sawyer.

"Don't call me Freckles!" she screamed. She punched her hand through the bars, and hit Wayne in the face. He let go of her hair, and she quickly went to the floor where Sawyer was still laying. She examined Sawyer's face, and looked carefully.

"Are you ok?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll be fine."

"He's fine Freckles," Wayne stated.

"Shut up!!" she yelled. "If you ever-ever touch him again I'll kill you."

"You couldn't if you tried," he replied. "Now are you going to tell me your choice Freckles."

Kate flung her self helplessly at the bars. It only made Wayne laugh at her. She fell to the floor, sobbing hysterically. Sawyer went toward her and held her from behind. She didn't turn towards him, but she didn't push him away either. She just cried loudly and refused to calm down.

"Shh, baby," Sawyer hushed. "It's gonna be alright. Shh."

"Oh, baby, Freckles," Wayne mocked. Sawyer stood up and banged his hands on the door.

"You wanna shut up?" Sawyer asked. "Because after Kate's done killin' ya, I'll chop you up in to little pieces and scatter them all over this town...no one will ever even miss you."

"Oh, but they will," Wayne stated. "You see, Kate's mama...well I'm with her in bed every night. And she would miss me."

Kate now went from kneeling on the floor, hysterically crying, to sitting up on her ankles with her fingers in her ears, rocking back and forth. There were two steady streams of tears falling down her cheeks. She rolled toward the wall facing it, and continuing to sob.

"Shut up Wayne," Jack said. "Leave them alone."

"Or what?" he asked. "You gonna break through your bars and protect the young lovers? You're pathetic...making little goo goo eyes at little Katie...waiting for her to tell you she loves you. It won't happen."

Kate wasn't hearing any of what was being said. She could only hear her own sobbing and sniffling. She had her hands back at her ears. She was humming something to herself, that wasn't a real song...just humming. Sawyer was the only one who seemed to notice. He laid down next to her and put his arms loosely around her. He began to rock back and forth to the motion of the song she was humming. It was hard since she wasn't humming a real song, but he tried his best to calm her down. it wasn't really working.

"Will both of you just shut the hell up?!" he yelled. "Go away Wayne. Just leave us alone. Kate won't choose...so I'm gonna choose for her. Take me."

"Sawyer don't!" Kate sobbed. "Please...don't...don't leave me all alone. Not all alone with_ him_."

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "I'm such a horrible guy."

"Not you!" she exclaimed. "Wayne. Wayne is going to make me go crazy...it doesn't matter which one of you he kills-"

"Well if it doesn't matter," Wayne began. He held his gun up towards Sawyer.

"No!" she screamed. "I mean, it doesn't matter...no matter who you kill Wayne...you're always going to be a part of me."

"Now you're getting it," he replied. "You see Katie...my little Freckles-"

"If you don't stop calling me Freckles," Kate whispered. "Stop calling me that...Stop. It means nothing when you say it...I hate-I hate you. I hate you with everything I am."

"Well, you're me my darling," he stated. "So I guess that means you hate yourself."

"You're right," she nodded. "I do. I hate who I am. I hate that you're any part of me."

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. He turned her face towards his own. "I love you. I love who you are. Don't let him get to you. He's nobody. This is what he wanted. He wanted you to think that you were some gross dirty thing, but you're not."

"Yes I am," she said quietly. She laid back down and curled herself into a ball.

"I hope you're happy," Sawyer stated. "I hope that you love what you are doing to some one who you claim that you love. Kate...even though she doesn't like it...and I don't like it either...but Kate is your daughter. Why can't you just let her be happy? Why can't you leave her alone?"

Wayne didn't say anything. He just walked away. Kate continued to look at the wall. She sniffled quietly. Sawyer rolled her over and took her face in his hands.

"He's gone," Sawyer said. "Wayne is gone. He's not going to hurt any of us."

Kate shook her head and leaned up to kiss him. She kissed him, and then backed away, still shaking her head.

"He's not going to stop," she stated. "He won't stop until there's nothing left of me."

"Well, we're gonna fight back," he told her. "We're not gonna let him get you."

"Freckles," she mumbled. "You're the only one who can call me that. He's tainting it."

"No he ain't," he replied. "You are my Freckles."

"I know," she nodded. "But Sawyer...he kept calling me-he's making me hate it. He's making me hate you. He knows exactly what he's doing."

"I know," he whispered. "Freckles, it's going to be ok. I love you. I love you so much. He won't beat us...we're gonna beat him."

"Ok," she answered. "But how?"

"By giving him what he wants."

**A/N: OK...I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm loving all my wonderful reviews. Keep them coming, and I promise to keep the chapters coming.**


	14. Chapter 14

Kate looked at Sawyer. She heard his words, but she had no idea what he meant. 

"What do you mean, we're gonna give him what he wants?" Kate asked. "I'm not giving either of you to him."

"Yes you are," Sawyer whispered. "And then I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him for you."

"No," she shook her head. "I won't let you. This is my fight. This is something that I have to do."

"No," he replied. "I can't let you. Have you ever killed anyone?"

"No, have you?" she asked.

"Well no," he said. "But I do know that if you kill Wayne it's going to haunt you the rest of your life. It will-I just can't let you do that. I'm gonna do it for you."

"I don't care if it ruins my life Sawyer," she answered. "I'm not gonna let you do something I've been dreaming about. I need to be the one to kill him."

"I know," he nodded. "And I get it. You have to kill Wayne...and I have to kill Sawyer. We both have people in our lives, that we have to kill...because it won't be real. Right?"

"Yep," she stated. "And if you let me kill Wayne...then I'll help you find Sawyer and watch you kill him."

"Are you completely serious?" he asked.

"No," she chuckled. "I can't let you do that to yourself. If you kill someone you can't ever come back for it...and like you said...it'll ruin your life."

"Well, then you know that I won't let you ruin your life either," he shrugged. "Killing Wayne...it won't help you."

"Jack," Kate sighed, wanting to change the subject. "Are you ever gonna look over here? I know that-"

"You made your choice," Jack said. "You want to be with Sawyer...and I don't want to be friends any more...so you made your choice."

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "Why! Why can't we just be friend? We've been friends forever. You know me better than anyone...even better than Sawyer. Do you get how jealous he is of us...of what we have?"

"Had," Jack said. "We have nothing."

"Jack, how-" she sniffed. "What am I thinking right now?"

"What?" he asked.

"What am I thinking," she repeated.

"I don't know," he mumbled. He crossed his arms over his chest, backed away, and took a deep breath. Kate moved to the edge of the gate and put her hands on the bars.

"Come on," she sighed. "Yes you do. You know me. You know me Jack. What am I thinking?"

"I don't know!" he yelled.

"I can play this game all day Jack," she replied. "And I know, that you know that. I always win at these kind of games with you. Now what am I thinking?"

"I don't know," he said again.

"What am I thinking?" she asked.

"Dunno," he stated.

"That's all you can give me 'dunno'? Now you're startin' to sound like Sawyer," she chuckled. "What am I thinking?"

"Jack, please for the love of God just answer her!" Sawyer yelled. "Just tell her what she's thinkin'...cuz she's givin' me a headache. Don't get me wrong babe, I love ya, but you're annoying the hell outta me right now. So please Jack, answer our lady."

"Well in the words of you 'she ain't our lady no more'...she's yours," Jack replied. "But fine. You're thinking that when we get out of here you're gonna kick my ass for not looking at you."

"See?" she asked. "We still know each other...just like I know what you're thinking Jack. You're thinking, that even though you're kinda mad at me right now, you still love me...you still want our friendship. And you wanna kick the hell out of Wayne for everything that he's said to me...especially the stuff about Sawyer...because even though you don't like it...you know I love him, and you can't stand to see me hurting."

Sawyer gave her a look of confusion and awe at the same time. He gave her a small smile. Jack sighed deeply and nodded.

"Ok," he whispered. "We still know each other. But I don't know how we'll ever be friends again...when I'm still in love with you."

"Are you really in love with me Jack?" she asked. "Or are you just in love with the idea of me. You didn't start loving me Jack, until I had a boyfriend. You would always crack up with me when people would suggest that we should hook up."

"I know," he nodded. "But I only laughed because you did. Kate, I've been in love with you since 8th grade."

"I really am sorry," she said. "I'm sorry I never saw it before...and I'm sorry that you have to watch me and Sawyer. I know that it has to be hard...but how can you just tell me that we have to stop being friends? We can still be friends."

"Could you ever be just friends with Sawyer?" he asked.

"I dunno," she whispered. "I'd like to think I could. If it was a choice between nothing, and friendship...then yeah."

"And you wouldn't think about kissing him and being with him every time you saw him?" he asked. "You know you couldn't. You know that you would be tempted."

"But if he said 'no'," she began. "I wouldn't push it. I could restrain myself."

"Then I dare you," he replied. "I dare you to not kiss him or touch him the rest of the time we're stuck in this place."

"If that will make you happy," she stated. "Then sure. I'll do that for you Jack. As long as we can be friends after."

"We won't ever be friends," he scoffed. "It's gonna drive me crazy to not touch you."

"You're a real ass you know that?" Sawyer finally chimed in. Kate knew that he had been aching to say something since Jack started talking.

"Sawyer don't," Kate said quietly. "It's not-he won't change his mind. I know-"

"Yeah," he nodded. "You know him. But he's still being an ass. He won't be friends with you because he can't be with you? What a loser."

"Shut up Sawyer," Jack retorted. "I'd like to see you try and be just friends with her."

"Well I do know that I'd rather be friends with her...have her in my life, than have nothing," Sawyer stated. "I know you're jealous, but get the hell over it. Kate doesn't love you. I mean she loves you, but she doesn't _love_ you. She never will."

"I can make her love me," Jack mumbled.

"Well, you don't know Kate as well as you and she think you do," Sawyer argued. "Because I know that you can't make Kate do anything. You just can't."

"Can you guys please just stop fighting?" Kate asked. "Because I'm not gonna be able to do this. I won't be able...I care about both of you. And Jack..I'm sorry that you're in love with me or whatever you feel, but I can't listen to the two of you fighting right now. So please, just shut up. Please."

"She's right," Jack sighed. "Look, Sawyer...I know we've been friends...kind of. We've saved Kate from Wayne before, and I do like you...some of the time. If we're not friends after this fine...but right now the only way we'll get out of this is by sticking together."

"Thank you Jack," she stated. "I'm really glad-"

"We're not friends Kate," he replied. "We never will be. I'm in love with you...and it will always be in the way of what our friendship can be. But right now it's live together, die alone."

Kate pulled her lip into her mouth and sighed. She looked over at Jack who had begun looking at the gate...trying to figure out a way out of the room. Sawyer put his arms around Kate, to try to comfort her. She pushed him away and shook her head.

"Not now," she whispered. "I just-I can't."

Jack looked over at Kate as he tried to find a way out of the room. He knew that she was hurting. He felt bad...but it was the only way for her to actually make a decision. When all this was over he would take her into his arms and apologize over and over...and tell her how they would always be friends. Although it was true that he loved her...Sawyer was right too...he would rather be her best friend forever, than not be in her life at all.

**A/N:OMG...so I don't know who of all of you ever watched Buffy...but I've been watching it a lot lately, and Nathan Fillion is in the 7th season. He's Kevin from Lost...I absolutley love him! Even though he's evil in Buffy, he's still amazing. and he's just so damn cute! OK I'm done with my crazy rant about Buffy, but Buffy was definitely my Lost a few years ago (meaning I was and still am completely obsessed) Anyway please please review my chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

Sawyer was looking across the room and into Jack's. Jack wasn't looking up. He was staring at his hands. Kate had finally fallen asleep. She was curled up next to Sawyer's legs. She was snoring softly. Sawyer reached down and brushed his hand over her hair. 

"Jack," Sawyer sighed. "What the hell is wrong with you? I know that you still want to be friends with Kate...why would you say those things to her?"

"Now you're gonna pretend that you know me?" Jack asked. "Well you don't. You don't know me."

"Maybe I don't," he nodded. "But I can still ask you what the hell your problem is? Kate still wants to be friends with you. Even though she doesn't love you doesn't mean that you can't be friends with her."

"Because, she'll never choose," Jack answered. "I need her to believe that we're not friends...so that she'll make a choice. We'll never get out of here."

"You're just making her believe that you don't want to be friends?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah, well it was the only idea I had at the time," he mumbled. "Now maybe she'll make her choice. Wayne can kill one of us...as long as it's not her."

"Killing isn't his style," Jack replied. "He won't kill any of us. He's just messing with us. I don't know why...but I really don't think any of us will die."

Kate started to toss and turn. Sawyer looked down at her, but didn't bother waking her. He moved toward the door and looked at Jack seriously.

"What's your plan?" he asked.

"One of us sacrifices ourself," Jack mumbled. "I don't care who...but we have to do something."

"I know," Sawyer nodded. "Me. I'll do it. But if I do, you have to promise me that you'll take care of her."

"I'm not gonna have to man," Jack shook her head. "You can look after her youself. You're not going to die. We're gonna figure something out ok?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Whatever."

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed.

"What?" he jumped and turned toward her. "What's wrong?"

"You weren't here," she chuckled to herself. "I thought-I thought you were d-"

"Shh," he whispered. "I'm right here. And I'm not gonna die. Are you alright?"

"Jack hates me," she said quietly.

"No," he shook his head. "No he doesn't. He loves you. He cares about you. He just-he's trying to protect you."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"We talked," he replied. "While you were takin' your nap...we had a little talk, and well we came up wiith a plan."

"A plan?" she questioned. "What kind of plan? What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna sacrifice myself," he mumbled.

"No," she scoffed. "No you're not."

"Wayne!" Sawyer yelled. "Come here! Kate's made her decision!"

"Sawyer shut up," Kate said. "Stop."

Wayne came walking over towards them. Kate stood up and blocked Sawyer from him.

"You made your decision Katie?" he asked.

"No," she stated.

"Yes she did," Sawyer nodded. He pushed his way from behind Kate and walked toward Wayne. Wayne dragged Sawyer out of the room.

"No!" she screamed. "Wayne don't! Why? Just tell me why. Why do you want to kill one of us? I don't understand."

"I'm not going to kill him," Wayne replied. He pushed his way into the room and shut the door behind him. Wayne stepped toward Kate.

"No! Get away from her!" Sawyer yelled.

"What are you going to do?" Kate asked quietly. She looked over at Sawyer, and then back at Wayne. "What are you going to do? What are you going to do!?"

"Shut up and I'll tell you," Wayne said calmly. "Why don't you love me?"

"Why don't I love you?" she asked. "Why the hell do you think? You-"

"I've never done anything wrong," he responded.

"You've hit me and my mom. You've hurt us. And you tried to rape me," she said. "There's no part of me that will ever like you...let alone love you. You don't deserve to be loved. You don't deserve to live."

"I need a drink," he mumbled. "You, boy...go get me the bottle of whiskey."

Sawyer looked at Kate, but didn't move. Wayne went over to Kate and held her by the throat.

"Go now," Wayne said. Sawyer hesitated again and looked at Kate.

"Go," she nodded. "He's not going to hurt me."

Sawyer was gone and had come back faster than Kate thought was possible. She looked at Wayne, still scared, but oddly she knew that he wasn't going to hurt her. She knew that she would be able to beat him. Sawyer handed Wayne the bottle of whiskey. Wayne drank deeply and then handed the bottle to Kate.

"Want some?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. She drank from the bottle too and took a deep breath. She moved her way towards the bars of the door and reached her hand through them. Sawyer held her hand tightly and pulled her into a standing position.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm fine."

"If you touch her," Sawyer stated.

"You mean like this?" Wayne asked, stepping toward her and putting his arms around her. Kate's lip quivered, but she immediately stopped it and was brave. She glanced at Sawyer. Sawyer sat down outside of the room and rested his head against the bars. Kate did the same. Their foreheads were touching, but Wayne still had his hand resting on Kate's shoulder. She had never felt more safe and uncomfortable at the same time. Sawyer reached his hand toward hers.

"Shh," he whispered. "I promise you that everything is going to be ok."

"Sawyer open your eyes," Jack scoffed. "You can't do anything...don't you see-Wayne has the power."

"Jack's right," Wayne whispered into Kate's ear. "I'm stronger than you, my Katie. If you try to fight me...you know that you'll never win."

Kate moved her arm upwards and knocked Wayne in his throat. She moved over him and straddled him. He laughed out loud and looked over at Sawyer.

"You make me sick," Kate said. "You make me wish that I was never born...but then I look over at those two. Jack and Sawyer are the only people who have ever actually cared about me. Now you're going to do exactly what I tell you."

"Or what?" he asked. "You can't do anything."

Kate took the bottle of whiskey in her hand. She took a deep gulp of the alcohol, winced as it burned her throat and broke the bottle on the bars of the cage door.

"I will shove this through your face," she whispered. "Believe me...right now, I'm mad enough to do anything."

Suddenly and unexpectedly Wayne over took Kate and was now in command. He twisted her hand to make her release the broken bottle. He now held it against her throat.

"Now what are you gonna do darlin'?" he asked. She wimpered quietly. She took a deep breath, and tried to will her tears away. They didn't go away. Instead they pooled into her eyes and they trickled down her face.

"Don't cry," Wayne whispered. He brushed his hand over her face and wiped her tears away. She spat in his face.

"Get the hell off of me!" she exclaimed.

"No," he shook his head. "Hell no. I'm not going to do nothin'. Now...you're little boyfriend is going to do something for us."

"I ain't doin' nothin' either," Sawyer stated. "And I sure as hell ain't leaving you alone with her. Get your damn hands off of her. What the hell are you?"

"I'm her father," Wayne stated.

"Then why are you hurting her?" Jack asked, standing up and walked to the edge of his door. "Just let her go. Please."

Kate was able to get out from underneath Wayne. She walked over to the cage and handed Sawyer the key. While Wayne was on top of her she felt the key in his pocket, and she was able to get it out without him noticing. Sawyer quickly unlocked Kate's cage, and Kate ran out before Wayne got up. Sawyer shut the door again and locked it. Kate reached up and hugged Sawyer tightly.

"Are you ok?" she asked, with a chuckle.

"Am I ok?" he asked. "Are _you_ ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Hey guys you wanna let me out?" Jack asked. Sawyer and Kate both walked over to Jack's room. Sawyer unlocked the door. Kate hugged Jack and closed her eyes tightly.

"We're still friends right?" she sobbed.

"Yeah," Jack whispered. "I'm sorry. I just-I thought if you thought we weren't friends, you could just choose me...to be killed."

"Jack I could never choose between you and Sawyer. And I really am sorry that you love me."

"I don't," he shook his head. "Or at least I don't love you as much as Sawyer does."

"I'm gonna stay here for a minute ok?" Kate whispered.

"What do you mean?" Sawyer asked. "We locked him up. We're gonna call the police and he's going to go to jail."

"I just need to talk to him for a minute," she answered. "I need to do this. I really just need to talk to him. And he's locked up so I won't get hurt."

Jack and Sawyer both left. They were both very reluctant, but Kate warned them using only a look. After they were gone Kate walked over to the cage door.

_"You're disgusting," she whispered. "I don't know why my mom would ever love you or be with you...but I'm glad that she was. I'm glad that I am alive. And I'm gonna live for a very long time. I'm gonna love my boyfriend and my best friend. I hope you die a very long and painful death. And I'm going to call the police and tell them what you did...you're going to jail forever."_

_"I'm sorry Katie," he stated._

_"No you're not," she shook her head. "Goodbye."_

Kate walked out of the house and smiled at both Jack and Sawyer. Sawyer held his arms out for her to come into. She jumped up and into his arms. He rubbed the back of her head and sighed deeply.

"Everything is going to be alright now."

"I know," she said staring into space.

**Flashback-5 minutes ago.**

**"You're disgusting," Kate scoffed. "I hate you. I still wish tha I was never born...but Jack and Sawyer...for some reason they don't. For some reason they both love me. I'm going to kill you now."**

**Kate walked down the hall and turned the stove on. She lit a candle next to the stove and then walked back down the hall.**

**"I will never think about you again after this moment," Kate said.**

**"Yes you will gorgeous," Wayne mumbled. Kate ran from the house and toward Jack and Sawyer.**

**Flashback over**

"We have to go now," Kate said.

"Kate what did you do?" Sawyer asked.

"Nothing," she answered. "I don't know how long-"

"What did you do!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Nothing!" she yelled. "But he's never gonna bother us again. And we have to go now."

Sawyer and Jack both stared at Kate and didn't move. Kate pushed past them both and took the car keys from Jack.

"If you won't run...I will," she sighed. They both followed her, and got into the car. Sawyer pulled Kate away from the drivers side door. She jerked away from him.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I'm not-"

"I don't think you should drive," he whispered. "Jack?"

Jack nodded and took the keys from Kate. Sawyer helped Kate into the back seat and held her in his arms. She pushed him away, but he refused to let her.

"Kate," he started. "You're alright. We're gonna take care of you."

"I don't need to be taken care of," Kate said. "I don't want anyone to take care of me. I can take care of myself. The only reason that I'm staying in the car is because-you know what? No. Maybe I shouldn't live either."

Kate got out of the car and began to run toward the house. Jack and Sawyer both got out of the car quickly and ran toward her. Sawyer reached her first and grabbed her by the arm.

"Kate," he whispered. "What did you do?"

"The house is going to explode," she answered. "I don't know how long it's going to take...but it's going to explode."

Suddenly the front door swung open and they all yelled and screamed out of being startled. Wayne grabbed Kate from Sawyer's arms.

"You are a real stupid girl Katie."

He pulled her into the house and shut and locked the door behind them. Sawyer and Jack looked at each other and at the door...completely helpless.

**A/N: Happy times. I hope that you all loved the chapter. I was gonna have it end with the house exploding, but I decided to keep it going. The stuff in the italics is what Kate wished had happened...and then the flashback is what really happened. I know it's kind of confusing. But yeah. Anyway please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Jack and Sawyer continued to look at the door. Neither of them moved, or even looked at each other. They were scared, and had no clue what to do or say. 

Kate was back in her 'cage'. She was sitting on the floor and waiting for Wayne to come back. She knew that he was going to come back, but she had no clue what was going to happen. A few minutes later Wayne did come back. She backed away from the door and pushed herself against the wall as far as she could.

"Do you know how much I could hurt you?" he asked.

"Not more than you already have," she whispered. "How the hell did you get out...I saw Sawyer lock the gate."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he questioned her. "Because I'm not. I'm not a stupid man Katie. I had another key."

"Why won't you let me go?" she asked. "Why are you-I don't understand. What's the point of this? What is your point? I just-there's no point on hurting me or kidnapping me."

"I want you to admit to me that I'm your father," he told her. "I'm your dad Katie."

"No Wayne," she shook her head. "A sperm donor doesn't equal a father. My father is overseas. He won't be back for a year...but that's ok. Because I know he loves me...even after he found out that I'm not his biologically..he still loves me."

"I love you too," he said. "And your mamma kept you from me-"

"What do you mean she kept me from you?" Kate asked. "I lived with you didn't I? I had to grow up with you."

"She didn't tell me that you were mine," he whispered. "She kept that a secret. I don't get it."

"Wayne!" she screamed. "She didn't tell you because she knows you're a horrible person! You hit me! My real dad would never do that! Let me out! If you loved me at all you would let me out...you would let me go."

As Kate spoke her voice got softer, but no less desperate. She looked at Wayne and crossed her arms, waiting for him to unlock the gate. He shook his head and walked away from her. She sat down and sighed deeply. She didn't say anything the rest of the day. She just waited. She knew that Jack and Sawyer were going to find some way to get her out.

Sawyer let out a loud grumble. He started throwing rocks at the door. Jack grabbed him by the arm.

"Stop," Jack said. "That isn't going to help."

"That asshole has Kate!" Sawyer yelled.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "I was standing right here too. I know."

"We have to get her out Jack," Sawyer said quietly.

"We will," Jack replied. "Don't worry."

"Don't worry?" he scoffed. "You can't be serious. Look at what he did to her before. How can you stay so calm?"

"Because," he stated. "One of us has to...and you obviously aren't going to. We gotta find a way into the house."

"Yeah," Sawyer answered. "We do. Got any ideas?"

"Not really," Jack whispered. "Not a clue. But we have to find a way in. I'm gonna go call the police."

"What the hell are they gonna do?" Sawyer asked. "They're not gonna do nothin'. They're useless."

"It's better than no plan at all which is what you have," Jack replied. "I'll be back in a little while. If you can figure out a way in...I guess just try to find a way in."

Sawyer watched Jack drive off. He walked up the steps to the house and began to pound on the door. He kept pounding, until his hands went numb, but he didn't stop. He was going to keep going until someone opened the door.

Wayne walked down the hall toward's Kate's room. She was sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. They both could hear the pounding on the door.

"He won't stop," Kate told him. "You might as well go let him in."

"Ok I will," he mumbled. "But on one condition...I won't kill your little boyfriends, if you stay here with me. Well eventually we'll go back home to your mamma...but we're gonna be a happy family. And you're going to call me dad."

"I'll agree to it all, but I'm not calling you dad," she stated. "I had a dad for 17 years...so I'm not calling you dad."

"Yet," he answered. "but promise me you'll think about it."

"Ok," she whispered. "As long as you don't hurt Sawyer and Jack. But can you let me out...I have to go to the bathroom."

Wayne unlocked Kate's cage. She pushed passed him and went into the bathroom. She shut the door, and Wayne heard it lock. He knew she'd probably stay in there for a while. He walked back to the door and started to open the door.

"Can I-" Wayne started, and before he finished his sentence Sawyer tackled him to the ground and was in the house. He put his hands around Wayne's neck.

"Give me the key right now," Sawyer stated.

"She isn't even here," Wayne choked out. Sawyer stood up and ran down the hall. He looked in all the rooms. Kate was no where to be found. He stalked quickly toward Wayne.

"Where the hell is she?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm right here," she whispered. "I'm going to stay with Wayne."

"What?" he exclaimed. "Kate are you crazy?"

"He told me if I stayed with him he'd leave you and Jack alone. So I'm going to stay."

"Can I talk to her?" Sawyer asked Wayne, clenching his teeth, and pulling his hands into fists.

"I guess," Wayne shrugged. "But after you're done I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

Sawyer took Kate, a little too roughly by the arm and pulled her down the hall. She scoffed quietly wondering why Sawyer was pulling her so roughly. They stopped walking and Sawyer looked at Kate.

"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked. "You're gonna stay here?"

"Have to," she shrugged. "He won't leave us alone. Ever. So I'm gonna stay here. He's going to hurt one of us or all of us if I don't stay...so I have to stay."

"I'm not going to let you stay here," Sawyer answered. "You can stay for tonight, but I'm staying too. I'm not letting you stay here alone. I love you."

"Why?" she asked. "Why do you love me? I'm a mess."

"I'm not saying it so that you'll try to come back with me," he replied. "I love you Kate. I love everything about you. I love that you're a mess, although I really don't think you are. And we've been through too damn much to give up now."

"You have to leave though," she sobbed. "You have to. If you don't leave...nothing will work. He'll kill you."

"Shh," he stepped toward her causiously and tried to hug her. She however put her hands up and shook her head.

"I can't let you die," she said. "I refuse. So please, just stop."

"Nope," he answered. "No. I won't."

"Can't you just hear me out one time. Can't you just trust me!"

"Babe, I do trust you," he whispered. "But I don't trust him. I don't trust him to not touch you. Even if he says he won't."

"Sawyer just go," she said. "Get out of the house. Go back to the Shephard's and I'll see you at school on Monday. Wayne won't keep me from school because people will start getting suspicious."

"Jack went to call the police," Sawyer stated.

"Well when they get here I'll just tell them everything is fine," Kate replied. "Now go."

Sawyer pulled Kate towards him, somewhat forcefully and kissed her hard. She kissed him back, then pulled away, frowned and sniffled.

"Bye," she said.

Sawyer turned and walked out of the house. He didn't want to, but he knew that Kate would never let him stay. Kate looked at Wayne and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I hope you're happy," she murmured. "Because I just let the only guy who has ever protected me walk out the door."

"I will protect you now," he told her stepping towards her.

"If you touch me...I will kill you," she replied turning away from him. She turned and sat down on the couch in the living area. Wayne sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed. She stood up and moved to a different chair in the room. One that Wayne wouldn't be able to sit next to her.

The rest of the day she thought about Jack and Sawyer. She knew that both Sawyer and Jack were going to come back for her.

Sawyer was pacing in the Shephard's house. Margo walked over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Sawyer, it's going to be alright," Margo said quietly. "We called the police and all we can do now is wait."

"No," he shook his head. "I can't just sit here and wait Marge. Kate is the only person who has ever meant anything to me. And if he hurts her-"

"He won't," Margo said. "He's not gonna hurt her again."

"You really believe that?" he asked.

"I have to," she answered. "She's like my daugh-"

"She isn't like your daughter!" Sawyer yelled. "I get that you've known her forever, but if she were your daughter you'd actually care."

"Sawyer I do care," Margo stated. "I love Kate so much, and I'm very worried about her...but she didn't want you to stay. And we can't drive ourselves crazy by just worrying."

Kate looked over at Wayne. He was sleeping soundly. She stood up and looked closer. He was snoring. He was definitely passed out. He had been drinking the entire day, and she was praying that he would pass out. When he did she pushed on his shoulder to make sure. He grunted softly, but didn't wake up. Kate looked at him with disgust, and walked into the kitchen. She picked up a knife. Her hand was shaking. She didn't know what she was doing. But she walked over to where Wayne was sleeping. She looked at him and then went to stab him. She almost did and then she dropped the knife. Then she fell to the floor. She sobbed to herself, wiped the tears from her face, and quickly stood back up.

"Get it together Katherine," she whispered.

"Katie?" Wayne slurred.

"What?" she scoffed..

"What's going-" he started.

"Go back to sleep Wayne," she said. She then walked around the house. She was looking for some other way to kill Wayne. That was why she needed Sawyer to leave. She needed to kill him without any known witnesses. She walked down the stairs leading into the garage. She looked around trying to find something...anything. Bingo! She saw a gas can. She quickly walked over to it and picked it up. It was practically empty, but it would have to be enough. She took the gas can into the house and dumped a small trail from where Wayne was sleeping, to the door. She opened the front door, lit her lighter and placed it to the floor. It caught fire quicker than Kate anticipated and she burned her hand. She looked down at it and then quickly ran from the house. She only hoped that it was enough to make the whole house catch on fire. She ran down the road and tried to flag down someone. Finally someone stopped.

"Hey, do you need help?" a austrialian accent asked. She was in the passenger seat of a cab.

"Yes," Kate sniffled. "Please. Can I have a ride?"

"Sure, get in," the person answered.

"Thanks," she said.

"Is everything ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I'll be fine. Thank you for stopping."

"Of course," she answered. "What's your name."

"I-uhm..Kate," she replied.

"I'm Claire," she stated. "First time in America."

"No," Kate replied. "I grew up here."

"No," Claire chuckled. "I mean me. I'm looking for my dad. I only know that he lives here in LA and he's a spinal surgeon."

"Really?" Kate asked.

"He sent me a card for my last birthday and I wanted to throw it back in his face," she responded. "I hate him. He left my mom all alone. He pretends he's my dad...but I don't have a dad."

"I sort of know what you're talking about," Kate mumbled. "I have a step dad, who thinks he's my real dad. Only because he kind of is...it's kind of a long story."

"I've got time," Claire smiled. "But if you don't want to talk about it...I mean we don't even know each other."

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "But sometimes it's better to talk to a total stranger than someone who actually knows you."

"Yeah," Claire nodded. "I guess you're right. Anyway go ahead and talk about it if you want to."

"My father," Kate began. "I found out about a month ago that he wasn't really my father...but that my step father is my biological father. But my dad will always be my dad."

"Wow," Claire chuckled. "You're right...that is kind of complicated."

"Where are you going miss?" the cab driver asked.

"Oh sorry," Kate nodded. "Um 1623 Third st."

"Wait a minute," Claire stated. She rummaged in her backpack and pulled out a piece of paper. "That's where my dad lives."

"Christian Shephard is your father?" Kate asked in awe.

"Yeah," Claire replied. "Lemme guess...is that your dad who you thought was your biological dad, but really isn't?"

"No," Kate couldn't help but smile. "He's my best friend's dad."

"I changed my mind," Claire stated. "I can't do this. I can't meet him."

"Sure you can," Kate nodded. "But not tonight. Christian won't be home tonight. He works a lot. And I mean a lot. He's hardly ever home."

"Does he take a lot of business trips?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kate mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Hey don't be," Claire said. "Not your fault. And truthfully I have the best mom ever. She's-she's in the hospital. That's sort of why I'm here. I kinda wanted to tell Christian."

"Well then that means you have to face this," Kate replied. "And I'm sure that Margo would let you spend the night."

"Are you serious?" Claire asked. "There's no way! Margo would be Christian's wife right? Yeah...no way."

"I'll just tell her that you're my new friend and you need a place to stay for at least tonight," Kate answered. "She's nice like that. My boyfriend and I both live there."

"Really?" Claire chuckled. "Is it like a hotel?"

"Kinda, but you don't even have to pay for it. And Margo is an amazing cook."

"Nah," she shook her head. "It's ok. I'll just find a cheap hotel. My mom left me all this money. She's kind of...well she's in a coma. The doctor's don't know if she's ever going to wake up, but I can't turn off the machine's yet. I just can't."

"I understand," Kate nodded. "I don't think I'd ever be able to do that either."

"Anyway," Claire sighed. "I don't think-maybe I'll just go to the hospital and find him."

"We're here miss," the cab driver stated. Sure enough Kate looked out the window and they were in the driveway of Jack's house.

"Thanks for letting me share your cab," Kate said. "I really needed to get away from there."

"I could tell," Claire smiled. "It was nice meeting you Kate. Maybe I'll see you around. I'm only staying for a week...probably even less, but..."

"Yeah. Good luck with everything," Kate said. "I hope your mom turns out to be ok."

"Thanks," she nodded. Kate handed the driver some money and gave Claire a small hug. She got out of the car, and walked up the steps to the house. She examined her burned hand. It wasn't so bad. It was blistered, and it hurt, but it made her feel better. She had her hand on the door knob when it flung open and Sawyer bumped into her.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. "How did you-where did you-what did you-Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she let out a deep breath. "I'm alright."

"How did you get away?" he asked.

"I just did," she answered. "And I'm fine. And I'm back. So jus-I need to be alone though."

She pushed past him and went into the house. Both Margo and Jack tried to talk to her as she ran up the stairs. She went into her room and locked herself in her room. Sawyer went back into the house and looked at Jack and Margo.

"I'll go talk to her," Jack said.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "She wants to be alone. I think something happened. I'll get it out of her, but for now...we should probably just leave her alone."

"Damn," he whispered.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"You know her," he replied.

"So do you," Sawyer chuckled. "Anyway I'm gonna talk to her in a little bit."

"Ok," Jack nodded. "I really glad that you're here. She won't talk to me."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Because," Jack began. "I know her too...remember. She doesn't really talk to me about Wayne."

"Guys come 'ere," Margo stated. Jack and Sawyer went into the living room. There was a breaking news story on TV. There was a house fire 20 miles away from their house. Sawyer looked at Jack and then glanced to the ceiling.

"Kate," he whispered. Margo gave him a strange look, but he didn't say anything. Sawyer ran up the stairs quickly. He knocked on Kate's door and waited for an answer.

"What?" she asked on the other end. "I told you I need to be alone."

"I don't really care," he scoffed. "Open the door Kate."

"Kate?" she questioned. She opened the door and glared at him. "What are you callin' me Kate for?"

"What did you do?" he asked, and stepped toward her.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"Kate dammit," he stated. "What the hell happened?"

"I didn't do anything!" she yelled. He stepped toward her again, and shut the door behind them.

"Kate," he whispered.

"Stop calling me Kate!" she screamed. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"Hey," he began. "It's alright. Just-just tell me what happened."

"I had to," she started. "I had to-he's never going to leave me alone...so I-"

Sawyer closed his eyes and held her in his arms. She hugged him back, but lowered to the floor.

"I'm done," she whispered. "I just want to be alone."

"No," he shook his head. "I can't-I'm not going to let you be alone. Did he do anything to you?"

"No," she answered. "He just fell asleep...gave me a chance to kill him. I had to...I had to Sawyer."

"I know," he replied. "I really do get it. I promise. I'm not mad at you...and I'm not going to tell anyone. Not even Jack and Margo."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Of course. Come here. Let me get you into bed."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed, but was laughing.

"That is not what I meant," he replied. "I meant, let's stand up and get comfortable."

They both stood up and laid down in the bed. Sawyer looked at her and gave her a small smile. She leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed her back and ran his finger through her hair. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Go away," Kate mumbled through the kiss.

"Kate?" Jack asked outside the door. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she replied, and went back to kissing Sawyer.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sawyer whispered.

"Yes," she nodded. "I need this."

Jack knocked on the door again, this time he opened the door and stepped inside.

"You coulda said that Sawyer was in here," Jack mumbled. He turned back to leave.

"Wait," she said. "It's ok. Come in. Sawyer and I weren't doing anything. What's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok," he answered. "You looked kind of upset when you came in earlier. You alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm ok. I got away."

"Did you set Wayne's house on fire?" he asked.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna tell them!" she exclaimed pushing against Sawyer, hard enough to push him out of the bed.

"Hey," he said putting his hands up in defense. "It was on the news. When you set a house on fire it's not exactly subtle. Jack saw what I saw...I guess he figured it out."

"Did you think that I wouldn't have figured it out?" Jack asked.

"I didn't know that it was going to be on the news," she whispered. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"Well they don't have any suspects," he answered. "I don't know what's going to happen Kate. But we'll make sure...he did deserve it."

"That's right," Sawyer nodded.

"Ok," she whispered. "But Jack...I'm totally fine. Or at least I will be. But can you-"

"I thought you said you weren't doing anything," he said. "I'm sorry...it's really none of my business."

"No, it's not," Sawyer replied.

"Sawyer just drop it," Kate sighed. "Jack, goodnight we will see you in the morning ok?"

"Yeah," Jack answered. "Goodnight Kate...Sawyer."

"Night," Sawer mumbled. Jack left the room and shut the door behind him. Sawyer walked over to it and locked it. He walked back to where Kate was standing and smirked.

"People in this house don't seem to undersatnd the meaning of go away," he replied.

"I guess you're right about that," she chuckled. "I love you. I know that, that was kind of random, but it's true. I love you. It just feels really good to say it sometimes."

"I love you too," he chuckled.

"I know," she nodded. She looked at him and smiled. They kissed softly, and gently. Sawyer took her into his arms and tossed her onto the bed. She chuckled as she hit her head on the wall.

"You ok?" he chuckled back. "Sorry."

"I'm fine," she sighed. "It didn't really hurt."

He laid down next to her and rubbed the back of her head gently. He kissed her again, still being soft and tender, but passionate at the same time. They started to get more passionate, Kate stopped. She looked up at Sawyer and frowned.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I know it's stupid...and I shouldn't be scared, but I am. I can't help it."

"He won't hurt you anymore," he assured her.

"Yeah I know," she replied. "But it won't be long before they find out that I'm his daughter, and I knew where he was living."

"No one knew where that house was except us," he said. "But no one knows that we were there. It's going to be fine. They will never find out how the fire started. Maybe they'll assume Wayne started it."

"I poured gasoline all over the floor. They're going to figure it out," she scoffed. "Sawyer...I won't make it in jail."

"So you won't go to jail," he answered. "I'll give you an alibi."

"Do you know how much trouble you can get in to by just doing that?" she asked. "I can't let you do that."

"Kate, everything is going to be fine," he replied. "And even if they do figure something out...we'll just tell them everything that happened."

"I still killed him out of revenge...it wasn't self defense, and that's the only thing that would ever get me out of this mess."

The next thing that happened, shocked and confused him. She rolled over on top of him and began to kiss him hard and roughly. He kissed her back briefly but then pushed her back away.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I need you," she breathed. "Please. Just tell me you love me."

"Well I do, but-" his sentence was cut off once again, by Kate's lips crushing against his. "Kate."

"What?" she asked, somewhat angerly. "I told you...I just need you to love me tonight. I need to be with you and have you hold me and love me."

"Ok," he whispered. "If you're sure that it's what you want."

"It is," she answered.

"Then goodnight Freckles," he replied. He pulled her closer and held her in his arms.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm loving you," he responded. "Just holding you like you want me to."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Have it your way tonight...but tomorrow-"

"Well talk about it tomorrow," he interrupted. "Now just go to sleep...and don't worry about Wayne."

**A/N: Ok so I didn't know where a good time to stop was. I just kept writing and I couldn't stop. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I didn't get too many reviews for my last chap. It's all good, and I'll keep on writing, but pleease please please send be wonderful reviews**!


	17. Chapter 17

When Sawyer woke up the bed was empty, except for a piece of paper folded up, next to his head. He unfolded it, and began to read. 

_Sawyer,  
First of all please know that this has nothing to do with you. I had to leave. I'm going to get caught, and I'm not going to bring you down with me. Please don't try to come find me...just know that I love you. Goodbye._

_Freckles_

Sawyer sighed and crumpled the letter up in his fist. He got dressed, and left the room. On the way down the stairs he bumped into Jack.

"Hey," Jack said. "Is Kate ok?"

"Dunno," he replied. "But I'm gonna find out."

"What does that mean?" Jack asked.

"It means, she's gone," he stated. "I don't know where she went, but I'm going to go find her."

"Well I'm coming with you," he answered.

"Fine," Sawyer mumbled. "But I'm leaving now, and I don't really care if you're ready to leave...I'm going."

"Ok," he replied. "I'm ready. Let's go."

Sawyer nodded and kept walking down the stairs. Jack quickly said goodbye to Margo, who didn't even have a chance to protest and stop them. Sawyer went walking quickly toward Kate's house.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked. "She won't be there."

"I'm just looking at the first place I can think of," he sighed. "I dunno, maybe she's curled up on her floor. Maybe she went over here to write her mom a note...I don't know...where do you think she'd go?"

"I have an idea," Jack whispered. "I'll be back in like 20 minutes."

"Ok...20 minutes. If you're not back, I'm leaving without you."

"I will be," Jack replied and quickly walked down the sidewalk, away from Sawyer. Sawyer walked over to the house and went inside. He saw Diane sitting at the kitchen table with her head down.

"Katie!" she gasped, when she heard the screen door shut. "You...where is my daughter?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "She left me a note too. I came here to look for her."

"Why the hell would she come here?" she asked. "She hates it here. She hate all of us."

"Ms...well whatever the hell your name is," he started. "We'll find her. Me and Jack are going to find her."

"What are you gonna tell me next, that you'll have her call me?" she asked.

"Hell no," he shook his head. "Not if she doesn't want to. I'm just gonna figure out what the hell happened to her."

"My husband," she whispered. "He's gone. I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him in 3 days. Do you think he took her somewhere?"

"That's unlikely," he replied.

"Please," she began. "If you find Katie, tell her to call me...will you do that?"

"I'll ask her," he mumbled. "But if she doesn't want to...nothin' I can do."

"I just need to know that she's ok," she answered. "That she's safe. So if you could just tell her that at least. Or maybe you can call and let me know? She's my daughter."

"Then why don't you act like it," he said. "Look I don't really have time to chit chat. I have to go find Kate."

"Ok," she whispered. "Please find her young man...what is your name anyway?"

"Sawyer," he mumbled.

"I'm Diane," she stated.

"Well I guarantee you that I won't remember that," he replied. "See you."

* * *

Jack walked quickly to the park. He and Kate called it their park because they were the only ones who ever were there. He didn't see her, but walked over to their favorite tree and looked up. Sure enough Kate was sitting on the tallest branch that she could reach. She knew that Jack didn't really like heights, and she was hoping that he wouldn't find her...but somewhere inside, she secretly hoped he would.

"Kate," he called. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Thinking," she answered. "I'm going to leave in a few minutes...but I came here first."

"I'm coming up," he replied. He began to climb. They both knew that he wasn't the best climber either...probably because he was afraid of the height. He almost fell off a couple times, but he kept going until he reached the branch right below hers.

"Go home," she stated.

"I just climbed up this tree and almost killed myself," he responded. "There's no way in hell I'm going home now. How about you just come home? Please."

"I can't," she sniffled. "I hurt everyone in my path. I hurt you, and I killed Wayne, and now I'm hurting Sawyer."

"When did you hurt me?" he asked.

"When I fell in love with Sawyer," she whispered.

"Kate, who's the one who always said 'you can't help who you love'?" he asked. "It's true. I mean...I can't help that I love you, but you can't help that you love Sawyer. The only difference is that he loves you back. And he needs you, and I think you need him."

"Jack," she whispered. "What the hell am I doing?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Look, I know I've been a royal ass lately, and it's mainly because I'm jealous...but there's another reason. I found out something and I really just want to tell someone. So can I tell you what I found out? Can we just be Jackie and Katie for a minute?"

"You hate being called Jackie," she argued.

"I know," he chuckled. "But I just need to tell my best friend something...and no one can find out. Not my mom, and not even Sawyer."

"Ok," she replied. "You can trust me."

"Ok," he answered. "My dad has another kid. I found out a few weeks ago. I found a letter written to him...the kid...lives in Austrialia. Remember when my dad used to go on all those business trips to Austrialia? Well I guess he got way more than he bargined for."

"I know," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"I know about your sister," she said.

"Sister?" he questioned. "How do you know? And why would you keep it from me?"

"Because she's scared," Kate replied. "She's our age...maybe a couple years younger."

"Why?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me? We're supposed to be best friends?!"

"Jack calm down or you going to-" she began, as she spoke Jack started to fall. "Fall."

She quickly climbed back down the tree and toward Jack. He rolled over and sat up. He wasn't hurt badly...he ended up slowing himself down before he hit the ground.

"Are you ok?" she asked. He nodded and looked at her.

"Why Kate?" he asked again.

"I just found out last night," she answered. "I didn't really have time to tell you...and I honestly had no clue what to say. I mean 'hey Jack, guess what? I just shared a cab with your sister, after I murdered my father'...it doesn't really have a good ring to it. I would have told you eventually."

"When?" he asked. "When you were running away? Kate you can't run from your problems. You always do that. Ever since you were little. You'd come running to my house when things didn't go your way. You can't keep running."

"I know," she nodded. "Especially now that I have a reason to stay."

"Sawyer," he replied. "Well then come on. He's waiting for me...he's gonna go looking for you."

Kate and Jack walked back to Jack's house. When they got there they saw Sawyer walking towards the car. He looked absentmindedly toward them, and did a double take as he saw Kate. He walked toward them.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly as he hugged her.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"What the hell were you thinkin'!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked at her seriously. "You were just gonna leave without sayin' goodbye? Your mama is furious."

She burst into tears, jerked herself away from Sawyer and fell against Jack. Sawyer looked at Jack, very confused.

"Freckles," he whispered. "What's goin' on?"

"You sounded just like Wayne," she answered. "I just-I don't even know what I'm doing."

"Ok," he nodded. "You don't have to do anything right now."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, let's just go inside and settle down," he replied. "Can't we just-I dunno. I know it sounds lame but can't you just stay, and we'll talk."

"Is Margo still here?" she asked.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "I think so. But she won't push anything. You know her...never one to ask questions."

"Ok," she whispered. "I'll stay."

That night Kate was pacing around in her room. She was sleepy, but not tired. She didn't want to sleep. She just walked from one end of the room to the other. When she got to the door she jumped violently as it swung slowly opened.

"Hey," Sawyer whispered. "It's just me."

"Do you know how to knock?" she asked, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry," he mumbled. He turned to leave. Kate grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the room. She shut the door behind him and locked it.

"People in this house, don't know the meaning of go away...and they also don't know how to knock," she said quietly. She kissed him and walked with him over to the bed. They sat down and Kate began to kiss him harder. She slipped her hands up the back of his shirt.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"What does it look like I'm doin'?" she answered. "Last night you had it your way, and we just slept...and I almost left here without giving you a proper goodbye."

"You're not gonna leave are you?" he questioned. "When I wake up tomorrow, I won't wake up to an empty bed, with a note saying goodbye."

"No," she shook her head. "I love you. You know, Jack said something today that at first really pissed me off, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it is."

"Well damn girl, what did he say?" he asked.

"He said that you needed me, and he was pretty sure I needed you too," she replied. "And I do. I need you so much. And not just to protect me and make me feel safe...although I do feel that when I'm with you. I just need you. I know this sounds so lame, but-"

"No," he replied. "Well, yeah, I mean it does sound lame, but it doesn't make it any less true. I need you too. And that really freaks me out. I haven't _needed_ anyone since I was 8 years old. But I need you."

"So..." she began. "Can we just spend the night loving and needing each other?"

Sawyer grabbed the back of her head and kissed her passionately. He laid down on top of her and ran his hands up and down her body. She lifted his shirt off and looked at his pecs and abs before leaning up to kiss him again.

* * *

It was the next day. Kate was staring out the window from her room. Sawyer was laying in her bed sleeping, but he woke up when he didn't feel her body next to his. He rolled over and scoffed loudly.

"Dammit Kate," he whispered.

"I'm here," she replied softly. She didn't look toward him, but continued to look out the window. He sighed again and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" he asked.

"Police," she answered. "They're at my mom's house. I'm guessing they identified Wayne's body."

A few minutes later they came walking toward the Shephard's house. Kate's eyes got wide and she started pacing.

"They're going to catch me, they're going to know, my mom told them," she murmured to herself and continued to pace around the room. She kept muttering things under her breath that Sawyer didn't exactly hear. Sawyer finally grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the bed.

"Hey," he whispered "Calm down. Just lay here with me."

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Kate," Margo's voice said. "The police are here. They identified the body from that house fire. It was Wayne. They just want to ask you some questions."

"What am I gonna do?" she whispered quietly to Sawyer.

"You're gonna keep your mouth shut," he replied. "Come on, or they will get suspicious."

"We'll be right there Marge," he said louder.

"Oh," she said on the other side of the door. "I didn't know you were in there Sawyer. Sorry."

He went to the door and opened it.

"It's fine," he answered. "We were just hanging out."

"Right," she nodded, uncomfortably. "Kate needs to go downstairs."

"Can I go with her?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied. "I don't care. The cops might toss you out of the room, but I won't."

Kate took Sawyer's hand tightly and they walked down the stairs.

"What did you do Katherine!" Diane's voice yelled. "Did you do it! Did you kill him."

"Mom shut up," she sighed. "You wanted to talk to me."

Diane continued to yell at Kate and ask her questions. Kate kept her mouth shut, just like Sawyer said. The police both told Diane that she needed to calm down so that they could talk to Kate.

"Are we going to have to ask you to leave?" the police man asked. "Ma'am you need to let us do the questioning."

"OK," Diane whispered. "Please ask her if she killed him."

"Katherine where were you 2 nights ago?" the first man asked.

"She was here with me," Sawyer stated.

"Sir, you need to let Katherine answer the question," he stated. "Katherine...did you see Wayne that day?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Kate, shut up," Sawyer scoffed.

"Sir, are we going to have to ask _you_ to leave too?" he asked.

"No," Sawyer mumbled. "Sorry."

"Ok," the officer continued. "Katherine, what was Wayne doing? Did he seem-"

"He kidnapped me," she answered. "He kept me, and Jack, and Sawyer in cages. He was going to hurt us...so I killed him. I killed him."

"Kate!" Sawyer screamed. "Sir, no. She's trying to protect me. I was the one who did it. I set his house on fire after we got away."

"No," she shook her head. "I was the one who killed him officer. I set the house on fire. Sawyer wasn't even there. Sawyer and Jack...ask Jack. Jack was the one who took Sawyer home."

"Nice try Kate, but Jack had already left, if you don't recall," Sawyer replied. "And I told you to run to the park, and I set the house on fire."

"You were already here when I got home from killing him," she stated. "Don't you remember?"

"Officer look up my file," Sawyer said. "I have a record. I was the one who did this."

"Ok," the officer stated. "I'm not going to sit here and watch the two of you argue who killed this bastard. But you both agree that he had you hostage, so I'm not going to press charges because I don't know who to arrest."

"Arrest both of them!" Diane exclaimed. "They probably did it together."

"Ma'am we have no proof that either of them set the house on fire. There was no real evidence left-"

"What do you mean there's no evidence left?" Diane asked. "Are you deaf? They both admitted it out loud. Why aren't you arresting them?"

"Mom," Kate sobbed. "Do you want me to go to jail?"

"No," she shook her head. "But if you killed him, you deserve to be punished."

"Haven't I been punished enough?" Kate asked. "He hurt me mom. He almost killed me. He would have if Sawyer hadn't saved me."

"He kidnapped you?" the officer asked Sawyer.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "He took all three of us. He would have killed us, if I didn't kill him first."

"Sawyer shut up," Kate scoffed. "Why the hell are you doing this? You know damn well that I was the one-"

"I don't care who did it," the officer sighed. "Sir, if you did set his house on fire, it's arson and murder. Setting someone's house on fire isn't self defense. And from what we've found out, he wasn't a very well liked person. I'm sorry for your loss Mrs. Janssen, Katherine."

"It wasn't a loss," Kate mumbled. She walked up the stairs, and back into her bedroom. Sawyer followed her.

"You're not going to do anything?" Diane repeated.

"If we can find any more evidence we'll do something. But both of them are saying that the other didn't do it. We can't do anything right now."

Kate tried to shut the door in Sawyer's face, but he was too fast. He put his foot in the door and pushed his way into the room. Kate sighed deeply and walked away from him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked. "Why the hell would you tell them that you killed him."

"Because I did," she answered. "Why the hell did you?"

"To protect you," he mumbled. "Look I'm sorry. But we're both free, and it's going to stay that way."

Kate stepped toward him and grabbed him by the hands. He sighed and put his arms around her.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Ain't no thing," he shrugged. He kissed her cheek and she turned her face so their lips touched.

**A/N: I love all my reviewers! Thank you so much for the people who continue to read and review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Wow...I got a lot of reviews for my last chapter! Thank you all for those! They always make me feel so good.**

Sawyer and Kate continued to get closer as time went on. Winter passed quickly. They hung out with Kate's friends, who were now quickly becoming Sawyer's good friends too. Jack would hang out too, but he wasn't hanging out as much with them. He was hanging out with Juliet, which made Kate happy and angry at the same time. Nobody liked Juliet. She seemed to know everything and think she knew everything about Jack. Kate was glad that Jack had met someone, but that didn't mean she had to like her.

"Sawyer?" Kate asked quietly as they cuddled in bed together.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Do you like Juliet?" she questioned.

"Not really," he mumbled.

"Is that because I don't like her, or because you don't like her?" she chuckled. He didn't answer but instead pulled her closer.

"So, Hurley's having a party this weekend," Kate said. "I think we should go. His parents are gone for the weekend. It should be a lot of fun."

"So I'm guessing, no parents means great fun, and drinking games," he said. "I think you might like drinking even more than I do."

"I dunno," she replied. "It just-it makes everything go away. It makes me forget about everything bad in my life."

"Do you still have bad things in your life?" he asked. "I mean Wayne's gone. I don't think your mom will be coming back any time soon."

"But I still remember," she whispered. "I still think about it. I mean-you love me...and I know that, but I'm still going to think about it."

"Don't get yourself all upset now," he said quietly. "We can totally go to Hurley's and get trashed this weekend."

"Will you hold my hair back if I puke?" she asked.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Why not?"

* * *

Sawyer and Kate walked to Hurley's house. When they were a block away they could hear loud music. Sawyer smirked at Kate and took her by the hand. When they got to the house the front door was opened. There were people sitting on the front lawn drinking...most of them Kate and Sawyer didn't recognize. They went inside, and Shannon practically knocked Sawyer over by jumping into his arms.

"You came!" she exclaimed, with slurred words. "I drinked...I drunked...4 jell-o shots. Kate come on they're so good."

Kate and Sawyer both chuckled and followed Shannon into the kitchen. They all began to drink. Jack was there with Juliet. Kate was trying her best to ignore both of them, but as she kept drinking, she continued to talk to Sawyer about how much she hated Juliet. The truth was, that she didn't really hate her...she just hated that she was with Jack. It wasn't that she wanted Jack for herself, but she just didn't want Juliet to have him either. It sounded really selfish and horrible when she thought about it to herself, and that just made her drink more, and want to be with Sawyer that night. She kept rubbing his leg, or the back of his neck.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I'm tired. Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah sure," he said, somewhat confused. "You sure you're ready?"

"Oh yeah," she answered. "I mean...I'm tired. Let's go."

"Ok," he replied. "We're gonna go I guess."

Everyone said their goodbyes. Sawyer and Kate walked back to the house. When they got there Kate jumped into Sawyer's arms. She kissed him, and he walked up the stairs with her still attatched him. He went into Kate's room and put her down on the bed. Kate pulled at Sawyer's clothes, while continuing to kiss him. Everything was so fast, and blurred. Kate was in Sawyer's arms, but she rolled over and pushed him away.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I'm too hot to have you hanging all over me," she answered. "So please, just don't."

"Ok," he said somewhat defensively. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she whispered.

Over the next few weeks Kate started drinking more and more frequently. Sawyer was beginning to get worried, but he didn't know how to tell her without making it sound wrong. He didn't want to talk to Jack about it because he knew that he would over react. He walked into Kate's room and saw her sitting on the floor drinking a bottle of vodka, straight from the bottle. There wasn't much left in the bottom. Sawyer wasn't sure how full it was when she got it.

"Kate," Sawyer sighed. "What the hell are you doin' to yourself?"

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Come here."

He knelt down next to her and started to take the bottle from her. She kept her hand firmly around the bottle and took one more sip from it. She put it on the floor next to her and pulled Sawyer on top of her.

"Freckles," he murmured. "What ar-"

"Shhh!" she said firmly. Pulled him the rest of the way down and rolled them over so she was on top. He quickly got out from underneath her.

"What are you doin'?" he asked loudly.

"I thought that maybe I would have sex with my boyfriend, but I guess if you're not in the mood..." she responded.

"No Kate," he sighed. "Not when you're like this."

"Oh come on," she scoffed. "What are you even talkin' about?"

"Kate, you're drunk," he replied.

"So?" she asked.

"It's 5:00 on a Wednesday," he continued. "We have to go to school tomorrow, and you're going to wake up with a hangover."

"No I won't," she answered. "I'll sober up before then."

"Kate, why are you doing this?" he asked.

"It-I killed my dad," she chuckled. "He's dead, and he'll never hurt me and my mom again...but does my mom thank me? No! Of course not. Instead she turns me in to the cops. She tries to get me arrested."

"But she didn't," he said. "You're not going to jail for it, and neither am I...and Wayne's still dead. Besides that it was months ago. It's Feburary Kate, it happened over 3 months ago."

"Sawyer, I just need something to numb-well I am numb, so I need to feel something," she replied. "This is the only thing that makes me feel even a little bit happy."

"Not even a month ago you told me I made you happy," he mumbled.

"You do," she nodded. "But I feel hopeless. I don't even really know what I'm saying. All I'm saying is that this...this bottle, makes everything better."

"It won't," he replied. "My daddy...I can't believe I'm about to tell you this, but I suppose you might not even remember. But my daddy, he came home drunk all the time. He was probably drunk when he killed himself. He scared the hell out of me. And I don't want you to scare me Freckles."

"I'm scaring you?" she asked, for the first time in the conversation being sincere.

"You're startin' to," he answered. "I know what this can to to a person...and I just don't want you drinkin' so much that you're not gonna wake up in the morning."

"Well, that won't happen to me," she responded, picking the bottle back up, and lifting it to her mouth. He grabbed the bottle from her angerly and threw it against the wall. The bottle shattered and Kate let out a yelp.

"Dammit Kate, stop!" he yelled, getting into her face. She jumped back, and put her hands to her face. Sawyer sighed and picked Kate up. He put her into the bed. He put the trash can next to her head, and got into the bed on the other side of her.

Later that night while Kate slept, Sawyer went downstairs. He bumped into Margo who had her hands on her hips.

"What?" he asked.

"Where is my bottle of vodka?" she asked. "Christian wants his drink, and I can't find it."

"Oh, you're all out," he replied.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Look you've been staying here a while now, and I can't very well kick you out now...but drinking is definitely off limits in this house."

"Why?" he asked. "Christian does it every night. He gets plastered every night...in fact how do you know he didn't drink the last of it, and is trying to hide it from you."

"Because," she answered. "We had at least half a bottle left in the cupboard just last night."

Sawyer closed his eyes and turned to go back up the stairs.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked.

"Upstairs," he mumbled. She let him go, which Sawyer was thankful for. He ran back into Kate's room and over to her side.

"Kate!" he yelled. "Wake up!"

He slapped the sides of her face gently and she opened her eyes. He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead.

"What's going on?" she asked, sitting up.

"You were completely trashed, and drank half a bottle of vodka," he replied. "I just wanted to make sure that you were still breathing."

"Oh come on, I wasn't that drunk," she sighed.

"Then how come you don't remember?" he asked.

"I do," she argued. "I remember you coming in here and giving me the cold shoulder. Why wouldn't you let us do anything? No one was home."

"Kate, you were drunk," he said. "You probably still are. You drank a half bottle of vodka. And on your skinny body that's gonna make you pretty damn drunk."

"Actually not quite the entire half bottle," she stated. "You threw it against the wall. I remember that too."

"What were you doing drinking at 5:00 on a Wednesday?" he asked. "I mean I understand drinking on the weekends...I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect and say I've never gotten drunk in the middle of the week either, but Kate..."

"I'm fine," she answered. "Just a really bad day."

"Why?" he asked. "Something had to have triggered it."

"It's my mom's birthday today," she murmured. "We always did something special...and now I don't even know if she'll talk to me."

"Well lets go find out," he offered. "It's still early in the night...it's only 8."

"Will you go with me?" she asked.

"Sure," he nodded.

They went down the stairs, and they could hear yelling coming from the kitchen. They heard all 3 of the Shephard's voices. They were arguing about Sawyer. He scoffed softly, went into the kitchen and waved his arms to get their attention.

"Ok," he stated. "I'm taking the car. Me and Kate will be back later."

"If you think I'm gonna let you drive my car after you've been drinking, you're sorely mistaken," Margo scoffed.

"I haven't been drinking," he sighed. "Look. Smell my breath, give me a sobriety test. I'm fine. I don't know where your bottle of vodka went, but I didn't drink it."

"And where are you taking Kate?" she asked.

"I'm taking her to see her mom," he replied. "It's her mama's birthday today and she just wants to see her."

"Ok," she nodded.

"Thanks, see you later," he stated.

"No," Margo replied. "I mean ok, let me give you a sobriety test."

"Mom," Jack began. "Sawyer didn't drink the vodka. I did."

"What do you mean?" Margo asked. "You drank it?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I was just...I failed a class so I wanted to drink."

"I don't believe you," she shook her head. She was standing next to Sawyer now and looked at him. "But you don't smell like alcohol, so I guess I believe you."

"Thank you," he scoffed. "Now can I use your car?"

"I guess," Margo mumbled. "But if you're not back in an hour I'm coming to get you."

"With what car?" Sawyer chuckled.

"I will use Christians. Now don't you smart mouth me," she said somewhat sternly.

"Mrs. S," he continued to laugh. "You're pretty hilarious when you try to be all hard-ass parent. You know that isn't you."

"I can be if I want to be," she argued. "Now go on."

Sawyer took the car keys out of the bowl on the kitchen counter and left with Kate. The drive to the diner was quiet. When they got there Kate took Sawyer by the hand and squeezed it.

"You won't leave me right?" she asked.

"Nuh uh," he shook his head. "I'm gonna be right there."

"What if I ask you to leave?" she questioned.

"I'm gonna do whatever you want," he answered.

"Can you tell I've been drinking?" she asked. "Because I still feel kinda buzzed."

"You should be fine," he replied. "Now lets go. Your mama's car is here right? I don't want to get in there and then find out that she's been next door all this time."

"Yeah," she nodded. "That's her car right there."

Kate got out of the car and walked into the diner with Sawyer. She had her hand attached to his. He didn't know if he could even pry their hands apart if he wanted to. They went to a table and sat down. A waitress that wasn't Diane walked over to them.

"What can I get for you?" she asked.

"Um," Sawyer began. "How about a grilled cheese and a black coffee. I'll have a beer."

"Can I see an ID?" she asked.

"You didn't let me finish," he continued. "A beer made from roots...Root beer."

"Cute," she chuckled. "And nice try...is that all?"

"No," he shook his head. "Is Diane Austin-"

"Janssen," Kate interrupted.

"Is Diane working?" he asked.

"Are you Katherine?" the waitress asked.

"No ma'am," Sawyer shook his head. "I'm not that pretty...I'm James."

"Not you," she replied, slightly annoyed, but still smiling. "Are you Diane's girl?"

"Yes," Kate nodded.

"She'll be really glad to see you Katherine," the waitress continued.

"Kate," Kate stated. "My mom is the only person on this Earth that is still allowed to call me Katherine...and that's only because she's my mom. So-please...Kate."

"OK, Kate," the waitress nodded. "Anyway you're mama has been pacin' this diner all night, hopin' that you'd show up. She misses you."

"Well, she has a funny way of showing it," Kate swallowed hard. "So can I talk to her?"

"Oh yeah, of course," she nodded. "I'll have her bring you your sandwich when it's ready."

"I don't want the sandwich actually...or the coffee, I just want to see my mom."

"Freckles," Sawyer began. "I think you should-"

"Fine," Kate sighed. "I don't want to argue. I guess...fine."

The waitress's smile faded, but she walked away from the table and quickly brought back Kate her coffee.

"Do you still want that root beer?" she asked Sawyer.

"No thanks," he shook his head. "I'll just watch her."

"I'll bring you a water with lemon," the waitress offered.

"No," he answered. "I hate lemon with my water...it ain't lemonade."

"Ok, water with no lemon," she replied.

"Fine," Sawyer said, sounding defeated. "Obviously you are gonna be stubborn about it. While your at it why don't you bring me...hmm, a BLT...hold the mayo."

"We don't put mayo on our BLTs...if we did it would be a BLMT."

"Ok, I don't need your life story," he replied.

"Diane will be back shortly with your food."

After the waitress walked away Kate smiled at Sawyer, then quickly her smile turned over to a frown.

"I can't do this," she whispered. "I can-I can't. I have to leave right now."

"Kate," Sawyer said. "It's going to be fine. You're mom isn't going to dismiss you."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Because she's been wantin' you to come in all day according to our waitress."

"I'm gonna be sick," Kate said.

"Ok...go then," he replied. "Hurry go to the bathroom before you puke every where."

Kate stood up and ran to the bathroom. Sawyer shook his head and looked toward behind the counter. He saw Diane talking to the waitress. It looked like they were having a quiet arguement. Sawyer saw Diane walking over to him. He took a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "You killed my husband you little piece of-"

"Hold on a sec," he interrupted. "Before you finish that sentence, know that this wasn't my idea. Kate wanted to see her mother. I know that you love her and care about her, but what I can't figure out is why the hell you would try to turn her in?"

"Because she killed my husband," she answered.

"And I'm not sorry mom," Kate stated, coming back to the table. "I'd do it again...and again. I just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Now I have...let's go Sawyer. You can forget about the sandwiches, I'm not hungry."

When they got home Kate pulled Sawyer into her room. This time she wasn't kissing him, or seducing him. She just looked up at him sadly, and then back down at the floor. The broken bottle was still laying on her floor. Sawyer knelt down and began to pick the pieces up and put it in the trash can.

"Sawyer, is it ok if I sleep alone tonight?" she asked. "I mean...I love you, but I think we both just need a break from each other."

"If that's what you want," he replied. "Sure thing, Freckles."

"Good," she let out a sigh of relief. "I'm still your Freckles?"

"You're always gonna be my Freckles," he answered. "What makes you think that you weren't?"

"You called me Kate a lot tonight...you were mad."

"I was mad," he nodded. "You're right. But all is forgiven darlin'. I'll see you in the morning."

He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. She tried to turn toward his lips and he backed away. She gave him a confused look.

"I'm not kissing you when you're breath smells like puke and vodka...not the most flattering combination."

"Well fine," she said, pretending that it bothered her.

"Goodnight Freckles," he chuckled.

Sawyer was laying in his bed staring at the ceiling. He was still trying to figure out what to tell Jack. He knew that he would have to talk about it to him at some point, but he was still going to wait. He wanted to make sure that Kate really had a major problem before he said anything. He knew that it wasn't normal for her to be drinking at 5:00 at night, but like she had said...it was a bad day. He had had plenty of bad days. He closed his eyes and then heard the door creak open. Kate was standing in his doorway. He looked at her with his head cocked.

"What are you doin'?" he whispered. He was afraid that she might be drunk again, but instead she walked slowly toward him.

"I was having trouble sleeping without you laying next to me," she whispered, hiding her face in slight shame. He opened his arms and she climbed into the bed next to him. He moved over and made room for her. She sighed in contentment and was asleep within minutes. He kissed the top of her head and he fell asleep quickly too.

**A/N: OK so I didn't think that I was going to update until Tuesday or Wednesday, but I wrote this chapter last night, and I feel like it's enough for now. And now my next update most likely will be on Wednesday...depending on how much more I write. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Oh AND also Kate's drinking problem isn't over yet. I don't know if it's too OOC, I hope not...but actually this whole story has been a little OOC so hopefully you all liked it anyway. So great...please review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: OK so tonight I went to my friends house and we watched the first disc of Season 1 of Lost. It was a lot of fun to see all the characters. I realized how much I miss old Jack. I don't really like him anymore. And I miss the old Locke too. And I'm gonna miss Chawlie! Ok...that's all. It was so much fun. I recommend that everyone watch all the episodes before the 4th season starts. That's what my plans are. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a little bit OOC for Jack. And people may not like it...especially if you love Jack.**

The next morning Kate was still sleeping in Sawyer's arms. She opened her eyes and ran her fingers up and down his arm till he opened his eyes too. He smiled at her and kissed her. He backed away and began to chuckle.

"What?" she asked.

"Morning breath," he replied.

"What about you?!" she exclaimed. "Yours is worse."

"Hmm, I beg to differ," he responded.

"I don't even remember what happened last night," she mumbled. "I-I remember you throwing the bottle of vodka against the wall...but that's really it. Did we go to the diner to see my mom?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "But things didn't go too well, so maybe it's better that you don't remember."

"Well, I do remember," she sighed. "That's the problem. I was hoping that it was just a dream. I feel like an idiot. I'm going to stop drinking."

"Ok," he nodded. "But I don't think it'll happen. It's ok...I mean we go to one party or the other every weekend."

"Well, we can just hang out the two of us on the weekends," she offered.

"I don't think you have to completely stop," he answered. "Just not in the middle of the week. Speaking of which, we should probably get up and go to school."

"You want to go to school?" she asked.

"Well no," he answered. "But Margo's gonna make us."

The next moment there was a hard knock on the door, and then the door opened without Sawyer having time to answer.

"Kate's gone again!" Jack exclaimed. He saw Kate and looked down. "Oh. I'll see you guys when you come down for breakfast."

"Jack," Kate said quietly. She got out of the bed and walked over to him. "I'm really sorry."

"Kate, it's fine," he sighed. "I'll-I'll see you in a little bit. Get ready for school."

"Jack-o wait," Sawyer stated. "Thanks. Thanks for taking the blame for the vodka."

"Well my mom still doesn't believe that I was the one who drank it," he chuckled. "I think she thinks my dad drank it. But anyway, what the hell happened?"

"Bad day yesterday," Kate mumbled. "It was me."

"Kate?" he asked. "Why? You don't drink."

"Where have you been past few months? Hiding under a rock?" Sawyer questioned. "She's been a wreck...sorry...but you have."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I have."

"Well, it was no big deal," Jack mumbled. "I'll let you guys get ready now."

After he left Kate looked sadly at Sawyer. She shrugged her shoulders and began to leave the room. Sawyer walked after her and took her by the hand.

"He'll be ok," Sawyer said. "He'll get over it...besides, he's been hangin' out with goldilocks lately. And he also knows that we spend pretty much every night sleeping in the same bed."

"I know," she whispered. "But I still feel kinda guilty. He shouldn't have to watch us be together."

"And we shouldn't have to hide our feelings just because Jack's a little jealous," he answered. "And in fact, I think it was him who said that I love you more than he does...he says that he's happy for us, but he's lying. I don't know what the hell his problem is, but he needs to just get over you."

"Could you?" she asked.

"'Course not," he smirked. "I just don't want to see you hurt."

"And I don't want either of you to be hurt either," she sighed. "But I feel like that won't happen. I'm gonna hurt Jack."

"Ok," Sawyer began. "Jack...he'll end up being ok. But I'm not going to just stop kissing you and sleeping with you."

"Well I don't want that either," she answered.

_**2 Weeks Later**_

Jack walked up the stairs. He didn't know if Kate and Sawyer were even home, but he was hoping that they weren't having sex. He went to Kate's room first, who's door was shut. He knocked softly and the door opened.

"Jack, hey," she said. "What's up?"

"Is Sawyer here?" he asked.

"No," she answered, slightly confused.

"What?" Jack questioned. "He's in here a lot...it was nothing against either of you...I just thought maybe he'd be here."

"Are you looking for him?" she inquired.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I mean, no. You. I wanted to know if we could do something. I miss hanging out with you Kate."

"Ok," she answered. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't care," he shrugged. "Where is Sawyer by the way? Just wondering."

"I don't know actually," she replied. "He said he had something that he needed to do. I didn't want to push it...maybe it's some sort of surprise for me."

The truth was that Sawyer had gotten a lead on where the real Sawyer might be. He didn't want Kate to know anything about it because that would just make her an accessory to his crime. He would eventually tell her. He walked up the steps to the house. He looked at the piece of paper in his hand and folded it up again. It had been folded and refolded so many times that he was suprised that it wasn't falling apart. He knocked on the door. A small blonde girl answered the door. She looked like she was 3 or 4.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," he mumbled. "Is your dad home?"

"Just a second," she answered. "Mommy!"

The little girl ran from the room. Sawyer shifted back and forth on his feet. He waited for someone to come back to the door. Finally a pretty, young woman came to the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Is your husband home?" he questioned.

"What do you need?" she asked.

"I really need to find him."

"Who are you?" she inquired.

"Name's James...I'm looking for-my father," he replied. "I think your husband might be him."

"What is his name?" she asked.

"He goes by different names," Sawyer mumbled. "But one of them is Sawyer."

"My husband's name is Gregory Sawyer," she answered. "But he's at work."

"Where does he work?" Sawyer asked. "I need to talk to him."

"He works at O'Neil's Bar as a bartender," she replied. "He's working until 12:30."

"That isn't very late for a bartender," he stated.

"He works the earlier shift," she responded. "So please, just-don't bug him during his shift. He's got enough to worry about."

"Ok, whatever," he mumbled.

Sawyer went into the bar and sat down. There were 2 men behind the bar mixing drinks. Sawyer ordered a drink, and much to his surprise they didn't card him. He drank a few drinks, and then leaned over the bar.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "What's your name?"

"Greg," the bartender answered.

"Sawyer?" he asked.

"That's right," Greg nodded.

"Ok," he whispered. "Nice to meet you."

"You too I guess," Greg said. "Don't have too much to drink."

Sawyer left the bar around 12 and went outside to sit. He was waiting for Sawyer to come out. He waited until 12:30 and then he heard a man's voice yelling goodbye.

"Sawyer!" Sawyer yelled. Greg looked toward Sawyer and sighed.

"What do you want kid?" he asked. "You stalking me?"

"You and I have some unfinished business," Sawyer answered. "Here."

Sawyer handed Greg the letter. Greg started reading it out loud. He started chuckling.

"This is unbelievable."

Sawyer pulled out the gun and pointed it at Greg.

"Whoa," he said. "Calm down. I'm sorry I laughed. But this isn't me. I don't know what this is even about."

"It's your fault that my parents are dead," Sawyer answered. "And now you're gonna be dead."

Sawyer pulled the trigger and he fell back. He looked at Sawyer sadly and held his chest where the bullet had hit him.

"I'm sorry," he stated. "I'm sorry about your parents...but I really don't know what all this is about."

The man stumbled to the ground and closed his eyes. He was dead. Sawyer shook his head. He knew that it wasn't the right guy. He had killed the wrong man. He didn't know what to do. He walked from the scene and drove home.

Kate and Jack were sitting on Jack's bedroom floor. They were playing a game of cards. They were laughing and acting like best friends again. Jack looked at Kate and smiled. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek softly.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I don't know what I'm even doing. God, I'm such a jerk!"

"No you're not," she replied. They both laid down and looked at the ceiling. Jack moved closer to her. She looked at him and sighed. She could feel small goosebumps working their way to the surface.

"Jack," she whispered. "What's happening?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I've never-" she began. "I love Sawyer so much, but right now..."

"You wanna kiss me?" he questioned.

"I don't know," she answered. "Yes. No. I-I have to go."

Kate sat up and began to leave. Jack held on ot her hand and looked at her. He didn't try to kiss her, or even really move in her direction. She however did. She kissed him softly. She quickly backed away and ran out of the room. She went into her own room and shut the door behind her. She heard the door open, and without looking.

"Jack, I need to be alone for a minute," she sighed.

"Kate it's me," Sawyer mumbled. She looked up at him. She hadn't started crying, which made her glad, because she really didn't want to have to explain anything to Sawyer.

"Oh," she said. "Sorry."

He sniffled, and hoped that Kate didn't notice it. At first she didn't, but as he walked toward her, she could tell something was wrong. He knelt in front of her and grabbed her face in his hands. He kissed her roughly.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly. He didn't answer, but just continued to kiss her. He reached his hands up her shirt and lifted it over her head.

"I need this Freckles," he mumbled. "Please."

She let everything happen, and didn't push him away. She knew, by the way he was moving that something happened. Even though he was moving quickly, and harshly, she continued to be as soft as she could. They heard a hard knock at the door. They were both naked.

"Go away!" Sawyer yelled. He continued to kiss Kate and was barely coming up for air.

"I need to talk to Kate," Jack stated. "I'm coming in."

"No!" Kate exclaimed. "Hold on."

Jack waited for another couple minutes, but then they both heard the door open. Sawyer looked down at Kate slightly annoyed, and rolled off of her. Jack looked at them both and turned bright red.

"Didn't you lock the door?" he whispered.

"You were the last person in here," she responded defensively.

"Kate, I'm sorry," Jack stated. "But I need to talk to you."

"I know," she nodded. "But I'm a little busy right now. Can't you just come back?"

"Nevermind," Sawyer sighed. "It's ruined. "I'll leave."

"No," she scoffed. "Jack, just give us-can I just come talk to you later?"

"Will you?" he asked.

"Yes," she stated. "I'll come to your room in a little while ok?"

"Fine," he mumbled. Jack left the room and shut the door behind him. Kate sighed deeply and put her hands to her face.

"Sawyer, what's going on?" she asked. "What happened? This just isn't you. I know something happened to you. What happened?"

"I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours," he answered.

"What are you talking about?" she questioned.

"I know something happened with you too," he replied. "Look...just tell me you didn't sleep with him."

"No," she shook her head. "Of course not. Today I hung out with him. For the first time in, like, ever. We were just talking. And...I don't know, I got this really weird feeling and I kissed him.

"What kind of kiss?" he asked, with his teeth clenched. "Show me."

Kate leaned forward and kissed him like she kissed Jack. He pulled away and shook his head.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said, beginning to cry. "I don't know! I just-we were hanging out and...it didn't even mean anything. I just-it made me realize how much I love you. I love you so much, and I don't want to lose what we have. Please-"

"I killed him," he interrupted. Kate heard I'll kill him. She shook her head and touched his face.

"Don't," she whispered. "He doesn't mean anything to me."

"No!" he said louder. "I killed him! I killed Sawyer, only-I got it wrong. So, sorry, but you are gonna lose me. I'm going to jail."

"No," she went to touch his face again, and he jerked away.

"Don't touch me," he mumbled. Kate shook her head and refused to listen. She touched his face again. He put his hand on top of hers and closed his eyes tightly.

"It's gonna be alright," she said. "Please, just-"

"Kate," he said, almost begging her. "I got it wrong. I got it wrong. I killed the wrong guy."

Kate had no idea what to say to him, but she saw that his eyes were shining. She wiped his eyes and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and was now being soft too.

"You should go talk to Jack, before he comes back and bothers us again," he said quietly. He wiped the tears from his eyes again.

"Will you stay?" she asked. "We should probably talk too."

"I'll stay," he replied. "But I don't really want to do much talking...if you know what I mean."

She nodded, gave him one more kiss and got out of the bed. She put her robe on and left the room. She knocked on Jack's door and he opened it slowly.

"What's going on?" she asked, folding her arms over her chest. "You know, before you go into your whole thing...I'd really appreciate it if next time you want to talk to me you knock and wait when I tell you to wait. You've walked in on me and Sawyer twice in the past two weeks."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Why don't you learn how to lock your door?"

"Well I told you to hold on!" she exclaimed. "I mean, I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I did say to wait."

"Well you weren't breathing very heavily so I just assumed you were alone."

"Whatever Jack. I could have been naked or something. What do you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"Us," he scoffed. "You just kissed me. And I don't know about you, but I felt sparks flying."

"I didn't," she shook her head. "In fact I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kissed you."

"Well I'm not," he answered. "I-"

"Jack don't," she whispered. "Whatever you're going to say...just don't. Sawyer is waiting for me. And I love him. I'm not going to hurt him. That kiss...it was a mistake. And I'm sorry if you feel differently, but...it didn't mean anything. I was just confused."

"What about now?" he asked. "Are you still confused?"

"No," she replied. "I know exactly what I want and exactly what I need...Sawyer."

Jack stepped toward her and began to kiss her. She pushed him away and opened her mouth to protest. He covered her mouth with his.

"Why don't you love me?" he asked, pulling her toward the bed.

"Jack don't," she protested. "Please-"

"Don't what?" he asked. "Don't love you?"

He pushed her onto the bed and continued to try to kiss her. She moved her head to the side and started to whine.

"Get off me," she said. "Please Jack. Don't do this."

She could feel her eyes welling up with tears. He continued to force himself on top of her. Finally she mustered up enough strength and shoved him to the floor. She stared at him, very frightened and covered her self up with her robe.

"Why don't I love you Jack?" she asked him.

"Oh God. Kate," he whispered. "Kate."

"Don't," she said one more time. She ran from the room and went back into her own room. She quickly locked the door and ran to the bed. She didn't take her rob off, but pulled it even tighter around herself. Sawyer could tell that she was crying.

"Kate, what happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," she whispered. She leaned up and kissed him. He looked at her somewhat confused.

"Freckles, come on," he replied. "What is going on? What did he say to you?"

"Stop talking," she said, kissing him again. "Just kiss me."

"Kate," he pulled further away from her. "I just told you and broke down right in front of you...tell me what the hell happened."

"I will if you promise just to stay here with me and hold me," she answered.

"Ok," he nodded.

"Promise me," she stated.

"Ok, I promise," he said.

"Jack he-" she began. "He kissed me...and he wouldn't stop. I tried to-I finally pushed him off of me, but-"

"He tried to rape you?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she shook her head. "He wasn't going to."

"He would have if you hadn't pushed him away," Sawyer stated.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"I'm gonna kill him," he mumbled. "Once you kill a man, it's easier to do it again."

He started to get out of the bed and Kate looked up at him, somewhat helpless.

"Please," she wimpered. "You promised that you'd stay here with me. Please...just stay. Hold me. Don't even-I think he feels really guilty about it anyway. Please just leave him alone tonight."

"Fine," he scoffed. "I'll stay here with you because I promised you...but tomorrow I'm gonna kick his ass."

**A/N: Ok...so I know that, that was terrible and OOC of me, but I hope that people are still ok with it. Don't worry...it'll get better. Jack is gonna feel really bad about it, and things will happen. Anyway I'm gonna have to take a little bit, to write the next chapter. It'll probably be updated on Friday or Saturday...depending...maybe even later. It also depends on the reviews. If I get lots I'll want to write more earlier. Hint hint...wink wink. Anyway please R & R!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Ok guys so here's the deal. I came home from work today and I couldn't stop writing. It was absolultey redic. So I'm updating for ya...Happy Turkey Day!**

The next morning Kate was glad that Sawyer wasn't in her room. She sat down on the floor and reached under the bed. She pulled out a new bottle of vodka that she had been hiding from Sawyer and everyone else. She looked down before she opened it. She knew that drinking wasn't the answer to her problems, but she had to make the horrible feeling in her stomach go away. She took a deep drink and coughed slightly when she brought the bottle back down. She tiptoed into the bathroom and brushed her teeth thoroughly. She could hear scuffling coming from down the hall and she could also hear Jack and Sawyer both yelling. She sighed deeply and quickly went to the room. She opened the door and saw Sawyer on top of Jack holding him by the throat.

"What the hell is your problem?" Jack managed to say.

"You hurt her!" Sawyer yelled. "How could you do that?!"

"I didn't do anything," he argued. "Get off of me."

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed. "Please, just get off of him. Leave him alone."

"No!" he answered. "He's going to pay!"

"Don't!" she exclaimed. "Sawyer please. Don't kill him."

She looked at Sawyer seriously. Her glance never left Sawyer's face...she didn't look at Jack at all. Sawyer let go of him and stood up.

"Thank you Kate," Jack whispered.

"Screw you," she scoffed. She left the room and went back to her own room. Sawyer followed her. She didn't want him to, but at the same time she did. He sat down next to her and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Stop," she sighed. "I can't-I'm not going to school."

"Ok," he replied. "I'll stay here with ya."

"I don't want you to," she shook her head. "I just-Sawyer look I know you had a rough night last night, but so did I. I just need to be alone ok?"

"No," he answered. "You shouldn't be alone right now. And frankly I don't really want to be alone either."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I think that, that's really sweet, but-I need to be alone right now. But as soon as you get home from school we'll spend the night taking care of each other."

"Ok," he mumbled. He leaned forward and kissed her. He backed away quickly. "Have you been drinkin'?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "I just brushed my teeth and used the mouthwash."

"Kate, I know that mouthwash has some alcohol in it, but my lips are burnin' just touching yours."

"I wasn't drinking!" she yelled.

"Ok," he whispered. "I just-Kate...don't stay home just to drink ok?"

"God!" she exclaimed. "I was attacked last night by my best friend and all I want to do is lay in bed all night...so leave me alone!"

"Alright," he nodded. "You're right. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions...all I'm saying is that your mouth doesn't taste like mouthwash."

"Go to school Sawyer," she mumbled.

"Bye," he responded. He stood up and left the room. Kate put her head back down and sniffled. She reached back under the bed and began to drink from the bottle again.

Sawyer went the entire day avoiding Jack. He was still enraged and he wanted to beat the hell out of him. He wasn't going to because of Kate. He felt like he was walking around like a zombie. Even Hurley and Shannon mentioned that he wasn't himself.

Kate spent the day in her room. She spent most of the time in her bed, sleeping. Kate told Margo that she wasn't feeling very well. Margo didn't really believe her, but she allowed Kate to stay at home.

Kate didn't listen to Sawyer, and she spent the majority of the day drinking, if she wasn't sleeping. She was now on the floor. She felt pretty great at this point, but she didn't know how she got onto the floor. She heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" she asked loudly.

"Jack," he answered.

"Leave me alone!" she screamed. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Please Kate," he replied.

"La la la, I can't hear you!" she yelled. "Go away! I don't want to see you ever again you-well I'm too mad to think of something but you're a jerk!"

"Real mature," he said.

"Yeah!" she stated. "Mature would be to attack your best friend because she won't sleep with you! Go away!!!"

"Get the hell away from the door," Sawyer's voice responded. "Go away Jack."

"I just-" he began. "I wanted to apologize."

"Well you know what?" he asked. "Obviously Kate wants nothing to do with you. Get away from the door right now. Kate can I come in?"

"You better," she answered. Sawyer came into the room. He shut it behind him and locked it.

"Jackass," he mumbled. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she nodded. "Come here. We can spend the rest of the night together. Taking care of each other."

"I've been pretty out of it all day," he murmured. "I just keep thinking about last night. I killed someone's dad."

"Well someone killed your dad too," she stated. "I guess your even with the world."

"No," he replied. "No. My dad killed himself. And I know how much that screwed me up...That little girl...she's gonna have to live without her father."

"Hey," Kate began. "It's ok. It wasn't your fault."

"Kate, yeah it was," he scoffed. "I just don't know if I can do this."

"Do what?" she asked. "What are you even talking about? Can't we just be together and comfort each other?"

"I don't know," he answered.

"Come here," she said. He walked toward her and she scrambled onto the bed. He walked over to her and kissed her deeply. This time he knew for a fact that she had been drinking.

"Kate," he whispered.

"So, I had a little bit to drink," she shrugged. "Sue me. Jack attacked me last night...I think I deserve a little bit to drink so I can just forget about it."

"I can't believe him," he shook his head. "Why would he do that to you?"

"I dunno," she stated. "I've been trying to figure out the same damn thing. But can't we just stop? Can't we just be holding each other?"

Sawyer nodded and leaned forward to kiss her. As he moved over her she flashbacked to the previous night. Sawyer wasn't forcing himself...she wanted him, but it reminded her of last night. She tried to forget about it. She opened her eyes and concentrated her attention to Sawyer.

_"Why don't you want me?" Jack's voice echoed in her head_.

"No!" she said. "Get off."

"Ok," Sawyer said quietly. "What's the matter? I thought this is what you wanted."

"Oh, it is," she stated putting her hands to her face. "I just-I can't."

"Ok," he repeated. "It's alright."

He could hear her sniffling, and knew that she was trying her best not to cry. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around her. This time she reached up and kissed him. He looked at her slightly confused, but didn't protest when she kept coming at him. He ran his fingers through her hair, and waited for her to tell him what to do.

"I miss you," she whispered into his chest.

"I'm right here Freckles," he answered. "I've always been right here."

"I know," she sniffed. "I just-I never want to be away from you. And I'm almost glad that what happened last night happened, because it only made me realize how much I need you."

"I need you too darlin'," he replied. "That's why you gotta stay with me...you gotta stay healthy."

"What are you talking about?" she scoffed.

"Look...I know that you've been drinking," he stated. "And you've been drinking a lot and very frequently. And I remember you saying that you were going to stop drinking all together. What happened to that?"

"_You_ told me that I didn't have to stop," she answered. "You_ told_ me that I didn't have to stop. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But I _did_ think that you should stop drinking so _much_."

"Well it's too bad that I don't have parents that you can go run and tattle to," she stated.

"Kate," he sighed. "I don't want to tattle on you. I don't want you to be mad at me. I just want you to be ok."

"Well I'll never be ok," she whispered. "I went from being terrified of Wayne, and now I have to worry about Jack too. And you told me last night that you killed someone and so I'm scared that you're gonna get caught and you're gonna go to jail and leave me."

"I ain't gonna go to jail," he replied. "No one even saw me there."

"And what if they did!" she exclaimed.

"Hey," he said quietly. "It's ok. I promise."

"Don't make a promise that you can't keep Sawyer," she stated. "You can't-you can't know that everything is going to be ok."

"We can worry about all that stuff later can't we?" he asked. "Like when it happens?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna stop thinking about it."

Later that night Kate and Sawyer were both sleeping. Kate woke up and got out of bed to go to the bathroom. On her way to the bathroom she bumped into Jack and gasped loudly.

"It's me," he whispered. He went to touch her shoulder and she jerked herself away. He continued to look at her, and then grabbed her by the arm. She opened her mouth to scream and he covered her mouth with his hand. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind them.

"Kate, be quiet for a minute. Let me talk to you," he stated. There were two steady streaks of tears falling down her cheeks. She had never known this kind of fear with Jack before.

"Why should I?" she wimpered.

"Because...don't throw out a 17 year old friendship over a dumb guy," he scoffed. "Just talk to me."

"That 'dumb guy', is the only person who has ever protected me," she said. "I know that you've been there for me, but Sawyer has been there for me in ways that you never could be and never will be...ever."

"I don't know what to do," he replied. "I miss-I miss what we had."

"I really don't think that we'll ever have what we used to have again," she answered. "I miss our friendship too, but after last night...I can barely even look at you, Jack."

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean to-I'm sorry. Please tell me that you forgive me."

"I need some time," she whispered. "I might be able to forgive you...might. But I really need some time...please."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll give you time. How much time?"

"As much as it takes," she replied. "Now will you please get the hell out of the bathroom?"

Kate climbed back into bed, and Sawyer mumbled as he woke up slightly. She sighed deeply, trying not to wake Sawyer up further, but knowing that it wasn't going to work.

"What happened?" he mumbled.

"Jack," she whispered.

"What the hell did he do!" he exclaimed starting to get up and leave the bed.

"No," she shook her head. "Just don't! He just talked to me...kinda scared me for a minute, but I'm fine. He wants my forgiveness, but I'm just not ready to give it to him yet."

"Yet?" he asked. "You mean you're considering forgiving him!"

"Yeah Sawyer I am," she answered. "Before you came into my life Jack was the only person I could ever turn to."

"I thought that you didn't though," Sawyer stated.

"Well I did," she replied. "I mean...I didn't tell him everything, but I turned to him when I really needed a friend. And it's kinda like he said...I can't just throw a 17 year old friendship away."

"I just don't want him to put his hands on you ever again," he clenched his teeth. "You're mine. No one else is allowed to touch you."

"You don't own me," she stated.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean," he replied. "I know that I don't own you...but it makes me crazy that he could have thought that I would let him be all over you."

"I really don't think he knew what he was doing," she said. "It was like-it wasn't him. Something happened to him that made him snap."

"That's what worries me," he mumbled. "What if he snaps again, and you're not as lucky?"

"Sawyer, he won't," she responded. "I mean...I really do think he feels guilty."

"Then why aren't you forgiving him?" Sawyer asked.

"Because, I told you...I'm just not ready," she whispered.

* * *

The next day Sawyer stayed at home with Kate. Margo tried to argue with them, but in the end she lost. Every time Sawyer left the room Kate would sneak some more alcohol. She kept insisting to Sawyer that she was fine and not drunk, but he wasn't really believing her.

It was night time. Margo called Sawyer and Kate for dinner. Neither of them wanted to go eat, so Sawyer went downstairs to get two plates of food. He saw Christian at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.

"Wow," Christian whispered.

"What?" Jack asked.

"There was a shooting last night at O'Neil's bar. This guy is lucky to be alive," he answered.

Sawyer wrinkled his forhead, but didn't act interested. He started getting two plates full of food. Margo stepped in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.

"Me and Kate...we're gonna eat upstairs," he answered.

"No you're not," she shook her head. "We're a family now. Go get Kate and tell her to come eat dinner with us."

"She and Jack had a little fight," he stated. "She's pretty upset."

"She'll get over it," Margo responded. "She's had fights with Jack before...and they always make up."

"Well this time it's a little different," Sawyer said.

"How?" she asked.

"It just is," he answered.

"Too bad, go get her," she replied.

"He tried to rape her!" Sawyer exclaimed. He took both plates of food and walked up the stairs. Margo and Christian looked at each other speechless. They both heard the door slam shut.

"Jack?" Margo asked. "Is he telling the truth?"

"No," he stated. "I mean...it was all this big misunderstanding."

"Jack," Christian began. "Did you try anything? Did you do something that Kate didn't want you to do?"

"Like you're so perfect dad!" he exclaimed. "What about all the crap you've done? You have another kid for crying out loud."

"What?" Margo asked.

"Jack go upstairs right now!" Christian yelled.

"Why, because I'm the only one that can ever tell the truth!" he yelled back. "It doesn't matter dad...it's all out in the open. Mom, dad had an affair with some woman in Austrialia...I have a sister...well I guess technically it's a half sister. Did she go see you dad?"

"Jack shut up!" he exclaimed.

"No!"

* * *

"What do you mean he's alive?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I just-Christian was reading it in the newspaper...he said that the guy was lucky to be alive."

"You said you watched him die," she argued.

"I did," he nodded. "But apparently he wasn't dead...just passed out. But he's alive."

"Thank god," she whispered.

"Tell me about it," he breathed. "I just don't know what to do now."

"Nothing," she shook her head. "We'll just sit in here and eat dinner."

* * *

**2 Days Later**

Sawyer was sitting on the couch with Kate laying on his lap. No one else was home. They had the house to themselves. Kate just liked laying with him, he always could make her feel safe. The doorbell rang making Kate jump high in the air. Sawyer stood up and went to the door.

"That's him!" the woman exclaimed. It was Greg Sawyer's wife standing with 3 police officers.

"Are you sure ma'am?" the officer asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "He was the one that came to our house looking for my husband."

"You're going to have to come with us young man," the officer stated.

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed.

"Kate keep your mouth shut," Sawyer replied. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said. "What's going to happen?"

"Nothing right now miss. We're going to take your boyfriend in for questioning."

"Can I say goodbye?" she asked.

"Sure, but he should be back later on tonight...like I said, we're just going to question him for now."

"What's going to happen? Will he go to jail?" she asked.

"He might," the officer nodded. "I can't lie and say that for sure he's not going to jail...after we question him we'll know more."

Kate reached up and hugged him. He kissed her cheek and squeezed both of her hands. Kate watched Sawyer walk with the police officers to the car. She went back to the couch and sat down. She was already crying. Part of her thought that he wasn't going to be coming back tonight. It made her upset and angry at the same time. After everything that they had gone through Kate was just done. She needed Sawyer back...and now.

Jack walked through the door and found Kate sitting at the coffee table with a bottle of whiskey. She would have gone to get the bottle of vodka upstairs, but she needed something much stronger.

"Kate what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Drinking," she slurred. "Sawyer's gone."

"Why?" he questioned. "What's going on? Why would he leave?"

"He got arrested," she chuckled. She began to laugh hysterically. "He was arrested for shooting a guy in an ally by that bar."

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm totally lying to you Jack."

"Well," he shrugged. "It's just crazy. He shot that guy?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "He thought that he killed him...but he didn't...you know the best part about all of this?"

"What?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant," she answered. "I haven't had my period in like 2 months. I haven't taken a test yet, but I'm pretty sure."

"Then why the hell are you drinking?" he asked. He grabbed the bottle from her and stared at her.

"Jack," she sighed. Her smile turned immediately into a frown. Her lip started quivering and she began to sob uncontrollably. Jack put his arms around her because he really didn't know what else to do. She turned toward him and sobbed on his shoulder. He rocked her gently and she suddenly turned her head and threw up on the floor. Jack closed his eyes and stood up.

"Are you leaving too?" she asked through a sob.

"Kate, I'm gonna clean up this mess, and then I'm gonna go get you a pregnancy test so you know for sure if you are or not ok?"

She looked up at him and nodded slowly. Jack came back and cleaned up the mess. He helped Kate up the stairs and put her in the bed. He found her bottle of vodka and took it from the room.

"I'll be back in 20 minutes ok?" he asked.

Jack stayed true to his word and about 20 minutes later he was standing in front of her with a plastic bag from the drug store. He helped her into the bathroom and then began to leave.

"Wait," she said. "Please stay. Stay with me...I'm scared."

They waited together. Kate was sitting on the bathroom floor. Jack was sitting on the side of the bathtub holding the pregnancy test. It had been 30 seconds. Kate looked up at Jack in wonderment. He shook his head.

"Not yet Kate, it's only been 30 seconds."

The next minute and a half were the longest of Kate's life. Jack looked at his watch and then handed the test to Kate.

"No," she shook her head. "Please-you read it."

"It's positive Kate," he whispered as he looked down at the test. She looked at him and shook her head again.

"No," she said. "No, no, no, no, no. Read it again. Read the directions again!"

"Kate it's a plus sign or a minus sign. You're pregnant."

She swallowed hard and then turned toward the toilet. She threw up. Jack mumbled under his breath 'at least she made it into the toilet this time' and reached forward to hold her hair back.

"I have to go see Sawyer. Now!" she exclaimed.

"O-ok," he nodded. "I'll take you to the police station."

As Kate walked down the hall at the police station, she had a firm grip on the pregnancy test. She walked through the halls, trying to find where Sawyer was being held.

"Please...Uh..Sawy-James...James something. I don't know his real last name. He was brought in because he-he was accused of shooting that guy in the newspaper."

"James Ford," the police officer stated. He's in the holding tank. He'll be able to go home tomorrow. There's not enough evidence against him."

"Then why does he have to stay over night?" she asked.

"He was a little billegerent with the officers," the officer answered. "But he'll be let go in the morning."

"Well I can't wait till then," she sniffed. "I need to talk to him right now...it's an emergency."

"Ok," the officer nodded. "You can see him in a few minutes."

Kate went over to the chairs and sat down. She couldn't keep her legs from moving a mile a minute. She kept looking at the pregnancy test and wanting to throw up again. She heard Sawyer's voice and looked up.

"Freckles, whatcha doin' here?" he asked. "I'm gonna come home...tomorrow I guess."

Kate swallowed hard again. Her hands were shaking hard and she handed Sawyer the pregnancy test. He looked at it and then back at Kate.

"What is this?" he asked.

"What the hell does it look like?" she almost yelled.

"Looks like a huge mistake to me," he mumbled.

"I just thought you'd want to know," she whispered.

"You're wrong," he replied. "I'd rather not have to worry about this crap right now. Don't you think I have enough to worry about right now, without some stupid crap that you did."

"Me!" she screamed. "You're pinning this on me again! What happened to being there for each other! Screw you Sawyer!"

She grabbed the pregnancy test from him and ran from the building. Jack was waiting in the car for her. When she got to the car she sobbed softly and told Jack to drive. Jack tried asking her what happened, but she made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with it. When they got home Kate ran up to her room, taking the bottle of vodka with her and locked herself inside.

**A/N: I know...I know. I hope you all liked this. It was fun to write. I enjoyed myself. PLEASSE R & R!**


	21. Chapter 21

Kate was sitting on the floor in her bedroom. She had a bottle of asprin sitting next to her and the bottle of vodka on the other side of her. She dumped the asprin on the floor and started counting. 1...2...3...4...5...all the way up to 23. That was the magic number she thought. That will be enough to kill me. Suddenly the door flung open. Jack had run at it in full speed and managed to knock it down. 

"Kate!" he screamed. He ran toward her and grabbed her face. "How many did you take?"

"None," she sobbed.

"How many!" he yelled.

"None," she repeated. "I haven't had the chance to take them yet."

"I don't believe you," he shook his head.

"Yeah," she sniffled. "What else is new? I didn't take any yet Jack. I was about to take 23...but you stopped me in time. You get to be the hero once again. Saving messed up Kate."

"Listen to me Kate. You still have time to stop this," he stated. "You can-well I don't know yet, but you and the baby can live."

"There is no baby," she stated.

"Yes, Kate...there is," he replied.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "There isn't a baby! Or there won't be! I'm gonna call Shannon in the morning and she's gonna take me to the doctor."

"Didn't you just almost take pills? So you're not gonna kill yourself," he replied.

"I wouldn't have-" she started. "I'm scared Jack. I'm really scared."

"I know you are," he whispered.

The next morning Kate woke up and called Shannon. Shannon had gone through a similar experience last year. Kate didn't know her very well then, but she had gone with her to be with her and make sure she was ok.

"Shan?" Kate asked, when the phone was picked up.

"Kate?" Shannon stated. "Wow, it's been a while. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Not really. I need to go to the, ahem, clinic."

"What happened?" she asked.

"What the hell do you think happened?" Kate chuckled. "Sawyer and I-"

"Didn't you have a pregnancy scare a few months ago?" she questioned.

"Yeah," Kate replied. "But this time it's real."

"Have you heard of a condom?" Shannon asked. "You know those things that can help prevent this?"

"What about you?!" she yelled. "You got pregnant while you were on the pill. Obviously I know what a condom is, and we're usually really careful. But a couple months ago we were just kissing and things just happened. We didn't have anything at that time, so we just-"

"You used the method that never works?" Shannon asked.

"Shut up," Kate scoffed. "Will you go with me?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Of course I will. I'll come pick you up right now."

Sawyer walked into the house and flopped down at the table. He felt like crap. He hadn't slept at all in jail, and he felt horrible about how he had treated Kate. He didn't know why he couldn't just be there for her...but this was just something that he couldn't deal with. He didn't know if he would ever be able to deal with it.

"Sawyer," Jack stated.

"Don't start with me," Sawyer mumbled.

"I'm not gonna," he replied. "I just thought you might like to know where Kate is."

"I don't care," he responded.

"I think you might," Jack said. "Shannon came to get her about an hour ago. She's gonna take care of your little mistake."

"What?" he asked. "You don't mean..."

"Well you made it clear last night that you wanted nothing to do with it," he stated. "So yeah. I mean..."

"I have to stop her," Sawyer replied standing up and heading out the door. "She's making a mistake."

He sped quickly to the clinic. When he got there he saw Shannon's car and ran into the building. Shannon was sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine.

"Sawyer," Shannon whispered. "I really think that this is a mistake."

"Me too that's why I'm here," Sawyer answered.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean you being here. Kate's gonna hate it. She's gonna be really pissed to see you."

"I have to stop her," he stated. "She'll never forgive herself."

"Miss," a doctor came into the room. "Your friend is asking for you."

Shannon quickly stood up and followed the doctor. Sawyer followed too even though the nurses and Shannon were both trying to stop him.

"I can't do it Shan," she sobbed. "I can't-Sawyer?"

"Hey," he mumbled.

"What are you doing here!?" she exclaimed. Sawyer couldn't tell if she was pissed to see him or happy to see him.

"I came to stop you," he replied. "I just-I'm sorry. But you-we-we should do this. We should-God this is hard. We love each other right?"

"I thought we did," she whispered.

"We can do this then," he stated. "And with my grades I ain't goin' to college so I can take care of the baby while your at classes."

She let out a forced chuckle through a sob. He knelt down in front of her and pulled her into a hug. She sighed deeply and wiped her cheeks. Shannon gave Kate the thumbs up and then told her that she would wait in the parking lot.

"So what are you going to do Katherine?" the doctor asked.

"Do you mind givin' us a minute?" Sawyer snapped.

"Sure," he sighed. "I'll be back in 5 minutes."

The doctor left and Kate looked at Sawyer with tears still resting in her eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked. "It'll ruin our lives. Neither of us are gonna be able to do this."

"We'll learn," he whispered. "Kate, it terrifies me. I know that I won't be a good dad, but I just-now that you are pregnant, I want to at least try."

"I almost died last night," she stated quietly. "I was in my room with a bottle of vodka and 23 asprin. I was just going to make it easier for everyone."

"Well I'm glad you didn't," he sighed. "What made you stop?"

"Jack," she answered. "He came bursting in...he knocked the door of the hinges."

"Well then I guess you'll be moving in with me," he said. "Now that we're having a baby we can move in together officially...and the Shephard's won't be able to say a word."

"Or they could just throw us out," she chuckled.

"So are you and Jack friends again?" he asked.

"He sat with me-" she gulped. "He was there when I took the test. He took care of me. It was almost like we were best friends again. But I really wish it had been you there to hold my hand."

"Me too," he replied. "Maybe if I had been you wouldn't be-we'd be at home right now."

"It's ok," she whispered. "I'm just glad that there wasn't enough evidence to hold you. You didn't go confessing."

"Oh I denied everything," he half chuckled. "I know that, that's horrible, but I couldn't leave you alone with Jack. You were so scared."

The doctor reappeared in the doorway and came into the room. Sawyer grumbled something under his breath and he stood up.

"So are we outta here?" Sawyer asked.

"I need to finish my examination," the doctor stated. "I'm gonna determine how far along you are ok?"

Kate nodded and watched the doctor continue to get things ready. She looked somewhat scared. Sawyer went to her side and took her hand. As the doctor worked he stayed silent except for a few hmms and huhs every now and then.

"Ok," he stated. "This is gonna be kinda cold."

He squirted the slimy goop on Kate stomach. As he did the ultra sound Kate shook her head. She couldn't hear the heartbeating.

"I-is that normal?" she asked.

"Well, it depends on how far along you are Kate," the doctor answered. "Usually we can't hear the heartbeat until the 9th or 10th week, but hold on. Let me just..."

"Come on!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Calm down sir," the doctor sighed.

"Can't you see that she's scared?" he asked.

"I know," he nodded. "Let me just do my job please. I'll be right back."

He returned a few minutes later with a nurse. The nurse looked at the screen and then looked at the doctor. The doctor left and the nurse sat down.

"Can I ask you to leave sir?" she asked.

"Well you can ask, but it ain't gonna happen. Just tell us what's going on," he stated.

"Are you the father?" she questioned.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I'm just standin' here and holdin' her hand because I wandered in here. Yes of course, now tell us what the hell is going on."

"Kate," the nurse began. Kate was already crying. She knew what the nurse was going to say. She turned toward Sawyer and buried her face in his stomach. He knelt down and put his hands on her head.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly.

"We couldn't find a heartbeat," the nurse stated.

"But you said that you wouldn't be able to hear a heartbeat until the 9th or 10th week," he argued.

"Yes, but you can still see it on the screen," she answered. "There was nothing. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah, you can try again," Sawyer replied.

"No," Kate whispered. "It's done. And it's my fault. I drank...I've been drinking so much lately. It's my fault."

"No it's not," he stated.

"Actually, alcohol can be very detremental to the baby in the first trimester-" the nurse started.

"Shut up!" Sawyer yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you? Kate...it is not your fault. We just-we're too young to be parents right? It's ok."

"I didn't want this," she shook her head. "I know you didn't either...but all that talk just now...I started really liking the idea. I just want to go home. Can we go home?"

When they arrived home Jack greeted them at the door. Sawyer pushed past him, bringing Kate with him. Kate looked down at her feet, and didn't want to see the look on Jack's face.

"Kate," he whispered. "Are you ok?"

"Not now," Sawyer mumbled. "Just leave her alone right now ok?"

"Kate," Jack repeated.

"Jack please," she whispered. "I can't do this."

She ran up the stairs quickly. Sawyer sighed and looked at Jack. Jack shook his head and stepped toward him.

"I take it you didn't make it in time?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Actually I did. But the baby-Kate's been drinkin' too much lately. It just didn't-look I'm gonna go see if she's ok...she's probably half way through that bottle of vodka under her bed."

"Actually, I took it-" Jack started.

"Where is it!" Kate screamed running back down the stairs and lunging toward Jack. "I paid for it! It was mine!"

"I took it," he stated simply. "Kate I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I think I deserve something to take this pain away," she said quietly. "Please Jack. Just-give me this one day."

"You know, you keep saying that Kate," he sighed. "I'm really worried about you. And maybe Sawyer isn't, but I really care about you."

"Shut up," Sawyer scoffed. "You have no idea what I've been thinking. And Kate really doesn't have to explain anything to you. She's right Jack. She's hurting. And if you won't help her then I will."

"Sawyer are you serious?" Jack asked. "She could really hurt herself with this drinking...and from what you just told me she already did-"

"Stop!" Kate yelled. "Don't even think it, let alone say it. I'm gonna get another bottle if you won't give me mine. And I know what to do to get it too."

"Kate," Sawyer said quietly. "It's gonna-"

"If you say it's gonna be ok so help me God I will punch you in the face."

"Ok," he nodded. "Fair enough. Jack where did you put her bottle of vodka?"

Jack went into the kitchen and handed Sawyer the bottle. Sawyer looked at Kate and then began to hand her the bottle. Right before she grabbed for it he turned toward the sink and dumped it down the drain. He walked toward Kate and picked her up forcefully, not letting her go, even though she was trying her best to wiggle out of his grasp. When they got upstairs Sawyer went into his own room, remembering that Kate's was knocked down. He set her down in his bed and held her tightly. She was still trying to fight him, but her efforts were becoming less intense, and Sawyer could tell that she was now sobbing. He held her untill they both fell asleep. Kate had been faking it. She wasn't really sleeping, and when she knew that everyone else had gone to bed, she snuck out of the room. It was somewhat a challenge to get free of Sawyer's grip without waking him up, but she managed to do it. She walked quietly down the stairs and went into the kitchen. She opened the liquor cabinet and took out three different bottles. She began to drink out of each of them...making sure that she wasn't taking too much. After only 10 minutes of drinking she could feel the familiar warm sensation over come her. She put the bottles back and hoped that Margo wouldn't notice. She went back up the stairs much louder than she meant to. When she got into the room she bumped into the dresser which knocked all the small trinkets on to the floor. She started to pick the stuff up, but was making even more noise trying to put it back.

"Kate?" Sawyer asked. "What are you doin'?"

"I just got up to go to the bathroom," she whispered loudly. "I mumped-bumed-bump-ped, into the dresser."

"Freckles," he sighed. "Come here."

They both had large lumps in their throats. Kate could feel her lip begin to quiver. She tried to make it stop, but it didn't really work. She walked toward Sawyer and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She looked at him and could see tears glinting in his eyes.

"Why are you crying?" she asked.

"Because I'm scared Kate," he answered. "Look at yourself." She looked down and up at her own body and then back at him.

"What?" she questioned. "Is there something wrong with me?"

He closed his eyes and kissed her on the forehead. He shook his head and held her tighter than he had previously. She could tell that he had tightened his grip on her. She looked up at him.

"I'm not gonna leave till tomorrow," she told him. "I'm safe. I can't drink any more of their stuff anyway. They'll start to notice."

"Kate," he began. "You have to stop. You have a problem."

"No I don't," she answered. "I do not. I've just been really stressed lately. I can stop any time I want...I just don't want to."

"I'm just worried about what will happen in a couple years when you can buy alcohol any time you want," he mumbled.

"Shut up," she scoffed. "I can buy it any time I want right now. And I do. Look can we just talk about this later. I'll quit after my birthday. I promise."

"When's your birthday?" he asked.

"A week and a half," she responded. "I want to drink on my birthday and have fun with it. So if you let me do that...I'll stop after my birthday."

**A/N: Please R & R!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Ok, so this chapter is extra long. I hope you all enjoy it!**

The next week and a half was really tough. Kate drank, but she also didn't want to talk to anyone. She kept by Sawyer's side every night, and he was the only one who she would talk to. Sawyer thought that she deserved to have a lot of fun on her birthday. She hadn't smiled or really had any other expression except for a blank stare. Jack hadn't spoken to Kate since that day. It was more of that she wouldn't allow him to speak to her. She still hadn't forgiven him, but she knew that he was still her friend...considering he had taken care of her when Sawyer wasn't there.

"Jack," she whispered, walking over to him.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"I-" she began. "I'm sorry."

"Why are_ you_ sorry?" he asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know," she nodded. "But I just miss you. I miss what we used to have. But I still need some time. I just-I want to forgive you. But I'm still getting over it...and I'm getting over losing the baby."

"Kate, you only had a day to get used to being pregnant in the first place...in fact I don't even think that you _did_ get used to it," he replied.

"I didn't," she breathed in deep. "But it still hurts. I mean...Sawyer actually was talking about us being a family. Me and him moving in together and taking care of the baby."

"Why is it, that Sawyer can hurt you time and again, and he can almost drive you to suicide, and I make one little mistake and you can barely look at me?" he asked. "I'm really not trying to be a jerk here Kate, but seriously...why was it so easy to forgive him?"

"Because I saw the look on his face when he walked in the room," she stated. "I saw how sorry he was without him having to even say anything. He looked really ashamed of himself. And he was there immediately. _You_ didn't even think that you did anything wrong."

"Yeah I did," he argued. "I felt really bad for what I did to you. But I never meant to hurt you that way. Please-you have to believe that."

"Well, I guess I do," she replied. "And like I said...I guess I can forgive you. But I just need more time alone. I have to get over losing the baby...Sawyer is the only one who understands. If you haven't noticed the only person that I've spoken to in a week and a half is Sawyer."

"Ok," he said. "I guess I have to respect that. Happy birthday Kate."

"My birthday's not till tomorrow," she whispered.

Jack stood up and kissed Kate on the cheek. She watched him walk up the stairs and sighed to herself. She wasn't sure if he was mad or just upset...or maybe both. She went back up the stairs and into Sawyer's room. Margo had fixed Kate's door a few days ago, but Kate was still staying in Sawyer's room. He was keeping her half way sane. He smiled at her. She sighed deeply and knelt next to the bed with her head falling in Sawyer's lap.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm tired," she shook her head. "I'm just so tired. I want to-I just want to be happy again."

"Darlin' I don't think you've been happy in a long time," he stated honestly. Her head was still resting on his lap, and he started playing with her hair.

"I haven't, you're right," she responded. "I'm ready to be happy though. I'm ready to stop crying myself to sleep every night."

"You cry yourself to sleep every night?" he asked. "Sweetheart."

"I-I don't really want to talk about it," she mumbled. "Give me my bottle of vodka."

"What?" he questioned. "Kate how are you going to be happy when you drink every single night? You said you'd stop."

"After my birthday," she reminded him. "But for right now I'm still upset about what happened. We were supposed to have a baby Sawyer."

"I don't think we were," he answered. She sat up and scoffed loudly. "Wait, that's not what I meant. I mean...maybe it wasn't meant to be right now."

"Come on, you don't believe in fate," she stated.

"Well it would be pretty damn silly if I didn't believe in fate, Kate," he said. "I mean look at how we even met. If I hadn't gotten the crap kicked out of me I never would have come here. And we never would have met. And honestly I'm glad that Wayne was such a jackass, because you never would have come here to live."

"Why do you love me?" she asked quietly.

"How could I not?" he replied. He pulled her up on the bed and kissed her softly. She laid down next to him and smiled.

"It's nice to see that smile again Freckles," he told her.

"Will you just hold me all night?" she asked. He tightened his arm around her and kissed her softly.

* * *

It was Kate's birthday. Sawyer really just wanted to spend the night at home cuddled up on the couch...just the two of them. But Shannon insisted on throwing her a huge party. And it had to be a surprise. Sawyer could usually keep his mouth shut about things like that, but this was different. Kate would ask him every 5 minutes what they were going to do, and it was getting harder to lie to her.

"I told you Freckles," he would reply. "We're just gonna hang out here...I think Jack's even gonna come. He wants to hang out with you on your birthday."

But that never seemed to be enough information. She also kept asking what he was going to get her for her birthday. The truth was, that he really wanted to get her something special, but he had no clue what to get her. He also had no clue on how he was going to pay for it. He could always ask for money from Margo, but he felt guilty. He knew Margo would give him any money he needed...especially since it was for a gift for Kate, but he still wasn't going to ask.

"So we're just gonna stay here tonight?" she asked. "You're not gonna take me anywhere? How boring."

"Do you wanna go somewhere Freckles?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she answered quickly and without having to think about it for a second. "I mean I know that you would much rather have it be just me and you, but it's my 18th birthday. I want to hang out with some of my other friends. I think I'm ready. At least for just Shannon. Besides, Shannon will drink with me. I know you will too, but not too much because you have to take care of me. And Jack won't drink with me. He's not even here. Anyway you like Shannon right?"

"Yeah I guess," he mumbled.

"Ok then," she said. "Because Shannon invited me over to watch movies...we're gonna do a marathon of my favorite movies, and play a drinking game along with it. You know I'm gonna be 18, so...I'm probably gonna get pretty drunk...which means you'll probably get lucky."

"Lucky with what? Having to clean up your puke?" he asked.

"Come on!" she exclaimed. "Please can we go? I really want to."

"Ok," he nodded. "Of course we can. It's your birthday so who am I to tell you how we should spend it."

"We don't have to stay that long...2 or 3 movies, and then we can come back here and...well you know."

They walked the 3 blocks to Shannon's house. When they got there the house was completely black, and there were no cars anywhere around. Even Sawyer got a little confused. He could have sworn that Shannon said the party would be at her house...but maybe everyone was going to be at Hurley's. They walked up the steps.

"This is really weird," Kate furrowed her eyebrows. "I thought that Shannon told me to come over."

"Well did you tell her you were coming?" he asked. "Maybe she made other plans since you weren't sure or whatever."

"No," she shook her head. "She knew. This is just weird."

"Get your asses in here!" Shannon exclaimed opening the door. As Kate and Sawyer stepped inside the lights turned on and all of Kate's friends jumped out and yelled surprise. Kate's hands went to her mouth and she was smiling widely.

"Did you plan this?" she asked Sawyer.

"Shannon and I did," he smirked. "But it was mostly her idea...if it had been up to me it would have been just the two of us all night."

Kate jumped into Sawyer's arms and hugged and kissed him.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I really need this."

She went around the room and hugged everyone else too. Jack wasn't there, but Shannon assured her that he was supposed to be coming a little later.

Throughout the night Kate kept true to her word and kept drinking. Sawyer went to stop her several times, but she kept insisting that she could hold her alcohol. Sawyer stayed with Kate for the first hour that they were there. He told her that he was going to go into the living room and sit for a while. She was still drinking with her other friends. Jack had come like Shannon told her he would. He arrived with Juliet. Everyone knew her, but no one in the group really liked her. She wasn't a part of the circle of friends, but since Jack had starting hanging out with her, she tagged along.

"Happy birthday Kate," Jack stated walking over to her. He was clearly already drunk as well. He might have been even drunker than Kate, which was saying something. He stepped toward her and kissed her. She pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm kissing my best friend on her birthday," he responded.

"Don't you have a date?" she questioned. "I'm sure she's very lonely over there."

Jack walked back over to where Juliet was standing and invited her to share in the drinking. No one was very happy about this either because everyone had pitched in to buy the alcohol except Jack. Shannon pulled Jack aside.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"You invited me," he responded.

"I know," she nodded. "And I know that Kate wants you here. But she didn't want you to show up already drunk and with another girl."

"Another girl?" he asked. "Kate _has _a boyfriend. She would want me to have someone else that I'm interested instead of her."

"Yeah," Shannon replied. "I guess you're probably right about that, but I don't think she wanted you to show up at her birthday with another girl. You know it's just going to make her jealous and push her further into Sawyer's arms."

"Well I'm not trying to make her jealous," he scoffed.

"Bull," Shannon stated. "You knew damn well that she'd get jealous. I mean come on...it's her birthday."

"She has a boyfriend Shannon...why would me showing up with another girl make her jealous?" he asked. "Because she likes it that I'm pining over her? Well that's pretty selfish don't you think?"

"No," Shannon sighed. "I mean yeah it's selfish, but no..that's not what she wants. Since it's her birthday she wants everyone to be paying attention to her...and your her best friend, and you shows up an hour late, already drunk, and with another girl."

"I see your point," he answered. "But it's too late now...she's not in the kitchen any more."

Sawyer was sitting on the couch talking to Hurley, when she walked over to him and sat down on his lap. He smiled at her and brushed his hand across her hair. She leaned forward and began to kiss him. Sawyer glanced over at Hurley who was still watching them. Hurley's cheeks turned pink, and he stood up and left the room. Kate continued to kiss Sawyer and then stood up.

"Come on," she whispered.

"Come on where?" he asked.

"Guest room upstairs," she replied. She pulled him towards her and pulled him towards the stairs.

"We're just gonna leave your party?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she smirked. "It's my party and I'm allowed to leave if I want to. Remember I'm the birthday girl? Aren't I? We can do whatever I want?"

"If you're sure," he whispered.

"I'm positive," she said quietly, still walking up the steps and taking him with her. They stumbled into the first room and fell onto the bed. Kate ripped her shirt off and threw it on the floor. She was moving quickly and sloppily...Sawyer knew that it was because she was drunk. He tried to slow her down, but it wasn't really working. Neither of them noticed the door opening.

"Oh my God!" Shannon exclaimed. "You guys wanna go somewhere other than the coat room?...which is by the way my room."

Sawyer looked down and sure enough they were laying on top of about 14 coats. He stood up quickly and handed Kate her shirt. Kate looked sadly at Shannon.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her lip began to tremble. Shannon and Sawyer both knew that Kate was way over emotional when she had been drinking.

"Kate, it's ok," Shannon stated quickly. "Let's just go downstairs and get you some water ok?"

"You're mad at us," Kate whined. "We didn't do anything yet though. You caught us in time. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry."

"Kate, it's ok," Shannon repeated. "I promise."

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she answered, walking quickly from the room.

"Sorry," Sawyer shrugged. "What can I say?...our little birthday girl was anxious."

"I really don't care that much," Shannon replied. "But could you go in my step-mom's room next time? That would be much more amusing."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sawyer answered. "I'm gonna go see if Kate's ok."

"Alright," she nodded. "See you later I guess...and if the mood's still right...my step-mom's room is right there."

Shannon pointed at the door. Sawyer chuckled and watched Shannon bounce back down the stairs. He walked toward the bathroom and found Kate laying on the floor with her face pressed against the cool tile. Sawyer walked over to her and knelt down.

"Hey, how are you feelin'?" he asked.

"My face is hot," she replied.

"Here," he whispered. "Sit up."

He helped her sit and took a towel off the towel rack. He ran it under the cold water and pressed it against her face.

"Are you gonna puke?" he questioned. She shook her head and fell against him. She reached up at his face and kissed him again. He kissed her back and rested his hands on her face.

"I'm gonna puke," she murmured. Sawyer quickly turned her toward the toilet and held her hair back. He sighed heavily. It wasn't excatly his idea of the perfect night, but he did just enjoy being close to her and taking care of her.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm the worst girlfriend ever."

"No you're not," he chuckled. He pulled her towards him and hugged her. "It's ok. I like being here with you."

"I have to puke again," she stated. This time she didn't wait and instead puked all over him. He groaned loudly and turned her back toward the toilet.

"Stay there ok?" he asked. He stood up and took his shirt off. He tossed it into the sink. He took another towel off of the rack and wiped the rest of the puke off of his arms and the other places it hit.

"Sawyer," Kate grumbled.

"Yeah," he said looking down at her.

"I wanna go home," she responded.

"Ok," he stated. "If you stay here and drink one glass of water then we can go."

"No now!" she exclaimed.

"No," he warned. "We have to sober you up at least a little bit, because I can't carry you 3 blocks."

"Are you saying that I'm fat?" she asked. He didn't answer her and instead handed her a glass of water. She put the glass to her mouth, and Sawyer quickly took it back.

"Slowly ok?" he asked.

"I just wanna go home," she pouted. "I want to go home and sleep in my own bed. And make out with you."

"Well, sorry darlin', but I ain't makin' out with you when you just threw up all over the place. Now drink...but slowly."

Kate drank the glass of water slowly and handed it back to Sawyer. He kissed her on the forehead and filled the glass again. When he handed it back to her she frowned and refused to take the glass.

"One more glass," he whispered.

"No!" she exclaimed. "You said only one...and I feel sick again already."

"It's because you're dehydrated."

"No," she shook her head. "Take me home please."

"Ok," he nodded. "But make me a deal...when we get back home you gotta have another glass of water."

"Will you give me my birthday present if I do?" she asked.

"What does that mean?" he smirked.

"You...of course," she answered.

"I don't want to take advantage of a drunk girl," he chuckled.

"It's not though," she replied. "Because you're my boyfriend, and you love me...please?"

"I'll think about it," he responded. "Let's go."

Sawyer was helping Kate walk down the stairs. They were going to go into the kitchen to say goodbye to everyone. Kate looked over and noticed that Jack and Juliet were sitting on the couch kissing. She looked up at Sawyer and scoffed loudly.

"He's such a jerk!" she exclaimed loudly. She was trying to say it quietly,, but instead she practically yelled. Both Jack and Juliet looked up at Kate. Jack stood up and walked over to where they were standing.

"What's your problem Kate?" Jack asked. "If you have something to say to me, then say it. Don't hide your true feelings anymore."

"Come on man," Sawyer sighed, stepping between them. "She's drunk. She doesn't know what she's saying."

"You know what?" Kate scoffed. "Yeah, I do know what I'm saying. Jack you're an ass. First you try to rape me-"

"I apologized for that!" he yelled. By now a group of people had formed to watch the fight. No one had known about what Jack had done except for Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. Quite a few gasps were heard. Shannon put her hands to her mouth in complete aw. Her new boyfriend Sayid was standing next to her and he put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from lunging forward.

"Then, you can't be happy for me and Sawyer. I mean you pretend that you're ok with it, but you're really not. You have to come to my birthday completely trashed, and with that slut with you."

"Don't call her that," Jack mumbled. "And besides that, what about you? You and Sawyer started having a relationship before you even really knew each other...at least Juliet and I were friends first. And also look at how drunk you are. You can barely stand...and Shannon told us that you were upstairs puking. I'm not that drunk."

"Yeah, well it's my birthday Jack. You're supposed to get drunk and have fun on your birthday. You...you're just a drunk, pathetic, lonely, loser."

"Screw you Kate," he scoffed.

"Nope, that's Sawyer's job," Kate retaliated. There were several more gasps, and quite a few chuckles.

"Ok," Sawyer said loudly. "Time for all birthday girls to go home."

"I'm sorry Sawyer," she whispered loudly. "I just needed to-"

"Kate, I'm begging you, stop talking before you get yourself into any more trouble," he replied. "Let's just go say goodbye and thank you to everyone ok?"

"Ok," she nodded.

"Sawyer," Jack began. "Can we talk?"

"I guess," he sighed. "But I don't know what good it'll do...you won't even remember this conversation tomorrow."

"Keep her away from us," Jack stated. "If Kate attacks Juliet again-"

"Whoa attacks?" Sawyer asked. "I hardly call what she did an attack. She just called her a slut. And she calls Shannon a slut all the time. Don't take it too personal."

"Hey!" Shannon exclaimed. Sawyer looked at her with a 'well she does' face, and Shannon shrugged and nodded. She turned toward Sayid and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok, well you better keep her away from our relationship," Jack answered.

"I don't think she really cares that much Jack," Sawyer sighed. "She has her own relationship to worry about. And I'm sure the real Kate...the non-drunk Kate, would be really glad that you were here with someone."

"Can we go now?" Kate practically whined as she came back into the room.

"Sure," Sawyer replied. "Let's go. Say thank you."

"Oh my God you're right!" she exclaimed. "I want to thank everyone_ except_ Jack, for coming! You guys are all so awesome, except Jack. And I want to thank Jack, because now thanks to you me and Sawyer are going to spend the entire night f-"

Sawyer quickly covered her mouth and smiled at the group. He shook his head and walked Kate out of the house. On the way back to the Shephard's house Kate threw up again, but then informed Sawyer that she felt much better. She wasn't slurring her words nearly as bad, so he was beginning to believe her.

"Can we go upstairs?" Kate asked seductively as they went inside the house.

"If you promise to go brush your teeth," he responded. "I'm gonna bring you one more glass of water and then I'm yours for the night."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "But you have to promise to brush your teeth and drink some water."

"Ok," she answered.

Sawyer walked up the stairs with the glass of water and went into the bedroom. Kate was laying in the bed, already asleep. He shook his head and walked toward her.

"I'm back darlin'," he said quietly. She didn't move or flinch. He touched her shoulder to wake her up and she still didn't move. He shook her gently and still nothing was happening.

"Kate!" he yelled. "Wake up!"

He shook her hard and finally she opened her eyes. He sighed deeply and hugged her. She laid back down and looked up at him.

"Am I still allowed to open my present?" she asked, acting as if nothing had happened.

"No," he shook his head. "I think for now we'll just have to sleep. Besides that the doctor told you that you should wait a month before doing anything remember?"

"No," she replied. "But you said that you were mine for tonight."

"I'm yours forever Freckles," he responded. "But I just can't do anything with you tonight ok?"

"Hey, the doctor said we _should_ wait...not we _had_ to wait," she argued.

"Kate, you just passed out," he stated. "I almost had to panic and take you to the hospital. I don't want you passing out in the middle."

"Oh believe me I won't," she replied. "It's not possible. Please Sawyer, it's my birthday, and I know that you won't hurt me."

"Are you going to pass out again?" he asked with a slight chuckle.

"No," she shook her head.

"Here," he said. "Drink this water and if you feel better then I'll think about it."

"Can we at least kiss?"

"Yeah," he answered. Kate began to drink the water. She looked at Sawyer, slightly annoyed that he kept making her drink the water, but part of her knew that it was for her own good. She looked back at him when she was done and frowned slightly.

"I don't even feel drunk any more," she stated.

"That's kind of shocking," he said. "But I'm glad. I don't like...I'm trying to put this in a way that won't piss you off...but I don't like having sex with you when you're totally drunk."

"Well you were going to earlier tonight," she replied. "Remember in Shannon's room?"

"Well I remember, I'm just a little surprised that you remember," he answered.

"I wasn't that drunk," she responded. "I just-are you mad at me? Are you mad that I keep drinking all this week?"

"No," he told her. "I'm not mad at all. Just a little worried. You can't go through life drunk all the time."

"Wayne did," she mumbled.

"Yeah, and Wayne was a bad person who hit his own daughter. I know that you don't want to aspire to be him."

"No," she shook her head. "Not particularly."

"Ok," he whispered. "Then are you going to stop, like you promised me? I mean I do understand the reasons that you drank this week. I get it. You might think that I don't understand and that I never could, but I do. I've just never seen you so defeated. I didn't know that you wanted a baby that badly."

"Sawyer, it wasn't even about wanting it," she sighed. "I just-when you came in there and you wanted to try and make it work, even though neither of us were ready...it just made me think that everything could be ok. And since the baby was a part of me...it was like a part of me died."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know."

"So can you just kiss me and make it all go away?" she asked.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She reached up and touched his face. He rolled over on top of her carefully. She pushed him up and looked at him with a smile.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you too Freckles," he nodded. He bent down and kissed her again. As they made love, Kate for the first time wasn't thinking about how awful her week was. She was laying in his arms. He was running his hand up and down her back gently.

"Will you marry me Freckles?" he didn't even realize what he was asking until it was too late. There wasn't really a way to take it back now.

**A/N:I know I sometimes go on these crazy tangents, sometimes I just get to writing and I can't stop! Let me know what you think. I'm gonna keep going, because I have a few more ideas...but ideas/suggestions, and constructive criticism are always welcome. So please R & R.**


	23. Chapter 23

Sawyer's words reverberated through Kate's head. She knew that he had just asked her to marry him, but she wasn't sure if she actually believed it. 

"What?" she asked.

"Nevermind," he mumbled "Forget I said anything, it was rediculous."

"Sawyer," she whispered. She leaned up and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Yes. I'll marry you."

"Kate," he started. "I didn't-I didn't know what I was saying."

"So you don't want to marry me?" she asked. "Why the hell would you ask me then? What is it, you were-"

"No," he interrupted. "I love you, and I'd want to marry you in a second if I thought it was right. But come on-we're not going to get married."

"I want to marry you," she whispered. "I don't care that we're still in high school. I just...I want to marry you."

"Ok," he nodded. "Let's get married then."

Kate snuggled against him and smiled widely. Sawyer sighed softly and continued to run his fingers through her hair. He was in no way ready to get married to Kate. It was the first time he'd ever been in love, and he really did love her a lot, but he didn't want to marry her...at least not yet.

The next morning Kate woke up still in Sawyer's arms. She started kissing his cheeks to wake him up. Finally he did and looked down at her. He smiled slowly and leaned down to kiss her.

"Are we really engaged?" she asked.

"Well, not really officially," he replied. "I gotta get you a ring first."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't need a ring. I'm not a ring kind of girl. All I need is you."

"Ok, well, I still won't feel like it's official, till we actually make it official," he answered. "Kate-I want to wait...I think we should wait."

"No," she answered. "No way. I want to marry you right now. As soon as I can. I don't want to wait for us to graduate or whatever...I want to get married as soon-"

"Kate," he whispered. "Seriously. We should wait."

"No!" she yelled. She ran from the room. Sawyer heard her stomping down the stairs. He was going to wait to follow her, but he decided it would be better to make sure that she was ok.

She was standing in the kitchen pacing back and forth. She saw him and stopped. She frowned at him and looked at her feet.

"Kate," he began. "You know that we're not ready to get married right now. You know, I love you, right?"

"Sometimes I'm not so sure," she whispered. "I mean I know that you've said it, and we've shown each other physically...but last night when you asked me to marry you, I thought...we could actually end up being together forever."

"We will be together forever, Freckles," he responded. "But I just don't think we should get married right now."

Kate rolled her eyes and went toward the cupboards. Sawyer stopped her, knowing that she was going to go for the alcohol.

"Kate, stop!" he exclaimed. "What the hell...Kate you said you'd stop after your birthday. And I hate to break it to you, but that would be right now."

"No!" she yelled. "Let me go!"

"Why?" he asked. "You can't seriously be upset about me not wanting to get married right now. Just because I don't want to be married, doesn't mean that we can't be together."

"You don't want me," she told him. "I'm damaged goods."

She shoved her way past him and opened the liquor cabinet. Sawyer shoved her away. She fell to the floor, and Sawyer scrambled on top of her to pin her down.

"Stop it!" he stated firmly.

"Get off of me," she muttered. "Please, just get off of me."

"Not until you quit acting like a-" he stopped himself from saying whatever he was going to say.

"Go ahead!" she yelled. "Tell me what I am Sawyer!"

"You're acting like a complete psycho bitch!" he screamed back.

"Screw you!" she yelled into his face. He leaned down and kissed her hard. She rolled over and tore at his shirt. They both managed to get up. Sawyer cleared the kitchen table off and laid Kate down. They were both breathing heavily, but neither one wanted to stop kissing. Sawyer lifted Kate's shirt off in one fluid motion. She fumbled with the button on Sawyer's pants, as he worked on hers.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear as they continued to kiss.

"Shut up," she whispered back. "Just shut up, and kiss me."

"What the hell is going on in here?" Jack's voice sounded. They both looked up at Jack and Juliet. Sawyer covered Kate by wrapping his arms around her.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked.

"What does it look like?" Kate questioned, grabbing her shirt and quickly pulling it over her head. "Come on Sawyer."

She took him by the hand and headed up the stairs. They were standing in the hallway and Sawyer stopped walking. He looked at Kate somewhat seriously.

"Are you really still in the mood?" he asked. "I mean-it kinda killed it all."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm always in the mood Sawyer. I want you."

"I'm sorry," he said. "You're not a bitch...and you're not psycho."

"Yes I am," she nodded. "I just-I want to-I want to forget this whole 2 weeks. I want to just be Sawyer and Kate."

"James," he told her.

"What?" she asked.

"My name is James," he replied.

"Ok then...James and Kate," she answered. "I just want to be us-happy stupid us."

"Is that why you want to get married so bad?" he asked. "To make all our problems go away?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess...kinda. I just-I want to love you and be with you and start over. I want to forget Wayne, and my mom, and the guy you shot in that stupid alley, and me almost having a baby."

"Well, getting married won't make you forget all those crappy moments," he stated.

"I know," she nodded. "But the alcohol helps. I just-I don't know why you want me to stop. It's not like I'm hurting anything...except maybe myself, but even then. Am I really that terrible when I'm drunk?"

"Did you just hear what you said?" he asked. "You said that you weren't hurting anyone...except yourself. That's why I want you to stop Kate. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," she shook her head.

"Do you remember the things you said last night? To Jack?"

"Yeah," she answered. "And I'd say them again in a second."

"No you wouldn't Kate," he shook his head. "That girl last night, wasn't my Freckles. You would never have said those things to Jack...especially since you seemed to be becoming friends again."

"I don't care!" she exclaimed. "He came to _my_ birthday completely trashed, and with another girl. And I don't care if I have a boyfriend or not...you know that he only did that to make me jealous."

"Maybe a little," Sawyer nodded. "But Jack was drunk too. You-you were both out of it."

"Yeah, well too bad when I'm drunk I still remember things that happened and things I said. I wish I didn't remember it," she said.

"You promised me that you were going to stop drinking after your birthday," Sawyer reminded her.

"I never said 'I promise'...I said I'd quit after my birthday, but I thought maybe by then I'd feel a little better...but I don't," she answered. "If anything I feel worse. I just want all this pain to disappear."

"Maybe you should go to therapy or something," he offered. "I mean-maybe if you could just talk about it to-"

"A complete stranger?" she asked. "No. I'm not telling a complete stranger about my stupid problems."

Suddenly Sawyer grabbed his head and fell to his knees. Kate followed him and put a hand on the back of his neck.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Are you ok?"

"I dunno," he mumbled. "My head is killing me...hmm."

Kate helped him stand and took him into his room. Kate laid down next to him and held on to his hands. She didn't say anything, but continued to stare at him, to try to figure out what was wrong.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Oh," he sighed. "It's gone. I'm fine."

That night Kate called Shannon, in the bathroom so no one else could hear her. She asked her if she could get her some alcohol. Shannon was one of her friends who had a fake id. She was going to bring Kate the bottle of alcohol in 20 minutes. Kate went back to the bedroom before Sawyer got too suspicious. She was laying in his arms when suddenly the door flung open.

"Kate, go to your own room please," Margo stated. "Look...I know that you guys have been sneaking into each other's rooms at night, but no more. I'm cutting you guys off from each other. Kate, you have your own room...go now."

"Margo-" Sawyer started.

"No!" Margo yelled. "Kate, go to your room right now."

Kate sighed deeply, but secretly was a little relieved that Margo told her to leave. That way she could spend the night in her room drinking, and Sawyer would never have to know.

When Shannon arrived at the house Kate ran down the stairs as quietly as she could and opened the door.

"Thank you so much Shan," Kate stated.

"You and Sawyer having a romantic night?" Shannon asked. "Is that why you need the alcohol?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Something like that."

"Well do you have my money for this?" Shannon questioned. "It was 20 bucks."

"Oh," she began. "Crap. I don't have any money right now. Can I pay you back on Monday at school?"

"Sure," Shannon chuckled. "You better hurry...Sawyer's waiting."

"Yeah," Kate smirked. "Thanks Shan. Goodnight."

"Yeah, you too," she answered.

Kate went back up the stairs and into her own room. She sat down on the bed and started to drink. She kept thinking about Sawyer telling her she should stop. She could stop any time she wanted to...she wasn't an alcoholic...she was grieving. After everything that had happened, she deserved something to make the pain numbed.

There was a soft knock at the door. Kate quickly hid the alcohol under the bed and looked back up at the door. She cleared her throat.

"Come in," she replied.

"Hey," Sawyer smiled. "If Margo thinks that one little warning is going to keep me away from you, then she really under estimates me."

"Sawyer, I'm kinda tired," she whispered.

"Well me too," he stated. "I can sleep next to you though."

Before she could think of another excuse Sawyer walked towards her and laid them both down. He ran his hand over her face and then leaned in for a simple goodnight kiss. He pulled away from her and stared at her, concerned.

"What?" she asked, trying to act like she had no clue what was going on.

"Kate," he whispered. "You're drinking?"

"I told you," she began. "I've had a really crappy couple weeks...actually since I've met you and before I've just had a really crappy life...when I drink it's the only time I can actually live with myself."

"Don't you think there's somethin-" Sawyer stopped mid sentence and grabbed his head. He groaned loudly and then stopped. He didn't move his hands from his head. Kate looked at him, and then brought his hands down. Sawyer's eyes were now closed.

"Sawyer?" she asked. "Sawyer what's wrong? I don't know what to do."

He didn't flinch or move. Kate quickly got out of bed and ran down the hall to Jack's room. She knocked violently till he answered the door.

"What?" he asked, very annoyed. "I was sleeping Kate, and now you-"

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "He's not-he's-I don't know what happened, but he isn't moving."

"Is he breathing?" Jack asked quietly, and not concerned.

"I don't know!" she screamed. "He grabbed his head and then he passed out."

Jack followed Kate back to her room and he started doing everything he knew how. Finally he stood up and yelled for his mom.

* * *

Kate was sitting in the waiting room in her pajamas. She was resting her head on Jack's shoulder and waiting for some kind of answer. There was a small circle on Jack's chest where Kate's tears had been falling.

"He has to be ok," she whispered so quietly that Jack hardly heard her.

"He will be," he assured her. He put his arm around her, in an effort to try and comfort her.

"Is James Ford's family here?" a doctor came out and asked. Kate stood up quickly and walked toward the doctor.

"What's going on?" she asked. "Is he gonna be ok? Can we take him home?"

"Ma'am calm down," he stated.

"No!" she screamed. "What is going on with my fiance?!"

"Fiance!?" Jack and Margo both asked, shocked as ever.

"What is happening?" Kate asked, somewhat calmer. "Just tell me."

"We're not sure yet," the doctor answered. "We've ruled out a couple things, but there are still several tests we need to do. I suggest you all going home and getting some rest. You can come back in the morning to check on him, and we might know some more information then. Now do any of you know his medical history? Because he is still unconcious, and we can't ask him...you said you were his fiance? Do you know of any allergies that he has?"

"I don't-I don't know," she shook her head. "I think Penicillin, but I don't know."

"Ok, that's actually really good to know," he nodded. "That's one of the most common used drugs, but it's also very common for someone to be allergic to it."

"But I don't know!" she repeated. "I think he might have metioned it, like once, but I don't know...if it's gonna save him use it. But tell me what's going on. What's wrong with him...I know that there's something you're not telling me."

"Alright, well since you seem pretty adament about what he has I'm going to tell you something," the doctor began. "We think he might have a brain tumor. It would explain the excrutiating headaches...has he had any other behavioral changes."

"Aside from being a little more horny no," she shook her head. Both Jack and Margo pretended they didn't hear it. "But you said brian tumor right?"

"Yeah," the doctor nodded. "It's one of the tests we're going to do immediately. But it may be completely benign."

"Do you mind speaking in english?" she asked. "I don't know medical terms."

"Well there are two different kinds of tumors...one is benign which means cancer free and all we'd have to do is remove it...and he should be fine. And then there's a malignant, which means that it's cancer."

"He might have cancer," Kate breathed. She began to breath harder. She was beginning to have a panic attack. Jack, Margo and the doctor all knew.

"Ma'am it's going to be alright, breath deep," he said quickly. "Your fiance is in good hands. Go home and get some rest...you can come back first thing in the morning."

Jack and Margo had to drag Kate out of the hospital. She kept insisting on staying by Sawyer's side, even though the hospital wouldn't allow it. She finally complied, but didn't go very quietly. Once they were home both Jack and Margo tried to talk to her, but she merely ran up to her room and locked herself in. She grabbed her fresh bottle of vodka, that she only was able to drink a small amount of. She drank until she couldn't any more. It was 4:00 in the morning when Kate passed out.

At around 8:00 Kate heard a loud knocking at the door. She groaned loudly and sat up.

"Go away!" she yelled. "I'm sleeping."

"Kate, unlock the door, I have to tell you something," Jack stated. The tone of his voice sounded very serious. Kate went to the door and looked back at him.

"It's about Sawyer," he started.

"Just tell me Jack...no sugar coating," she swallowed hard.

"He has cancer," Jack stated sadly. Kate nodded her head and walked back over to where she had left her bottle of vodka. She had it tightly in her hands, she took a deep gulp and then shut the door in Jack's face.

**A/N: dun dun dun! Please review me!**


	24. Chapter 24

Jack quickly opened the door again before Kate had a chance to lock it. He reached for the bottle. Kate turned around and held the bottle closer. 

"No!" she exclaimed. "Jack, don't! I need it!"

"What about Sawyer!" he yelled in her face. "He needs you to be stronger than this! Give me the bottle!"

"No!" she screamed. "Get the hell away from me! You don't know anything. You don't know how this feels. Sawyer is the only person who's ever made me feel completely safe and now he's gonna die!"

"I know," he said quietly. "That's why you have to stop. Look at yourself. You're holding that bottle like it's the most prized possession you've ever held. Stop drinking, and stop being a selfish idiot and go be with Sawyer."

Kate fell to the floor in tears. She let go of the bottle and put it on the floor next to her. She bent over and rocked herself back and forth. Jack walked up next to her and sat down. She was crying so hard now that she wasn't taking a breath. Jack hesitated slightly before putting a hand on her back.

"I don't know what to do," she sobbed. "I-I just don't know what I'm doing any more Jack. Sawyer wants me to stop, but I just-this is the only thing that makes me feel even remotely better."

She picked the bottle back up and stared at it. Jack waited to see what she would do. Kate looked up at Jack with tears in her eyes. She looked back at the bottle. She looked from the bottle to Jack several more times. Finally she picked the bottle up and threw it against the wall. She screamed loudly and fell back to the floor.

Jack sighed softly and wrapped his arms around her. Margo, who had heard the bottle smash against the wall came into the room. Jack silently told her that he had it handled. He pulled Kate up so she was kneeling. He hugged her tightly.

"Let me take you to see him ok?" Jack offered. "I'm sure he'd want to see you. And whether he admits it or not he's got to be terrified."

She backed away from Jack and nodded. She sniffled and began to breathe more calmly. He stood up and held his hands out for her to take. She shook her head and stood up on her own.

"Sorry about breaking the bottle," she whispered. "But you're right. I have to stop. I have to go see Sawyer...I want to be there for him.

"My mom said that you didn't have to go to school today," he whispered. "So I'll take you to the hospital on my way to school...but we gotta leave now."

"I want to leave now," she answered.

Kate's hands were shaking as she walked up to the reception area. She tapped her fingers on the counter and waited for the receptionist to notice her. The receptionist was giggling and talking on the phone. Kate cleared her throat loudly and continued to tap the counter. The receptionist held a finger up, telling Kate to wait.

"No dammit!" she screamed. "I'm not gonna wait...just tell me where my boyfriend is!"

"Hold on," the receptionist said into the phone. "You know, you're very rude-"

"_I'm_ rude?" Kate asked. "My boyfriend is here...he just found out that he has cancer...I'm scared and I know that he's scared and all I want to know is what his room number is...and here you are talking on the phone and laughing, while there's a person in pain standing in front of you."

"Are you in pain ma'am?" the receptionist asked. "Would you like me to get a doctor for you?"

"Not physical pain you idiot!" she yelled. "Tell me right now where James Ford is, or we're gonna have an even bigger problem...well you are. I'm gonna-"

"Ok," the receptionist interrupted. "Ford you said? James Ford...room 323."

Kate didn't bother to thank her. She turned around and ran toward the rooms. As she searched for room 323 she thought she'd never find it. Finally she spotted it and knocked softly before going inside.

Sawyer looked at the door and smiled as best as he could when he saw Kate. Kate was already crying when she walked inside.

"Oh, Freckles, come 'ere," he held out his arms. She quickly walked toward him and hugged him gently. "Freckles, give me a real hug."

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.

"My head is what's killing me," he mumbled. "Everything else is fine. Come on."

She hugged him tighter and sobbed almost uncontrolably. He sighed softly and continued to hold her. He pulled her on to the bed with him so they were now laying next to each other. She looked at him guiltily.

"This is all my fault," she whispered.

"Hon, I know that you think you have all that power, but you don't," he shook his head. "It just happened-"

"But if I hadn't been drunk for the past 2 weeks I could have noticed something," she argued.

"No," he replied. "I've been having these damn headaches for about 3 months. I've just been hiding it from you. If it's anyone's fault, it's my own."

"You can't die," she whispered and sobbed.

"Hey," he started. "I'm not gonna. I'm gonna be just fine."

"We should get married right now," she choked out. "I-I want to marry you now...what if something _does_ happen...I want to be your wife."

"Freckles, nothin' is gonna happen to me," he told her.

"You have cancer Sawyer," she said quietly. "At least that's what Jack said. Was he lying?"

"Unfortunately...no," he answered. "But I'm still going to be ok. I'm going in for surgery tomorrow, and then I'll be all better."

"I want to marry you today then," she stated. "And I don't need a ring, and I don't need a dress. I just want to marry you."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "I love you so much. I can't live without you."

"You won't ever have to," he responded. "Because we're gonna get married and we're gonna be together."

She kissed him softly. He pulled away and chuckled softly.

"See that monitor right there?" he asked, pointing at the heart monitor.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"It's my heart rate," he told her. The machine was beeping faster than normal. She looked at him somewhat concerned.

"Should I go-" she started.

"You should stay right here," he replied. "_You _make my heart race Freckles."

She let out a content chuckle and leaned against him. They had only been alone for 15 minutes when the door opened and a nurse came in. She smiled at Sawyer and looked at his chart.

"I see you have a visitor James," she stated. "I'm his nurse, Natalie...I'll be looking after your...well I'm guessing he's not your brother."

Natalie was smiling widely. Kate and Sawyer both smiled too.

"I'm his girlfriend," Kate replied.

"Soon to be wife," Sawyer corrected her.

"Hmm," Natalie stated. "Well, I really hate to break up this cuddling, but ma'am you're going to have to get out of the bed. James needs his rest."

"Can I still stay?" she asked. "I got the day off from school so I could spend the day here with him."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You can stay, as long as you stay in the chair next to the bed. And, by the way, aren't you kids a little young to be getting married?"

"Nope," Kate responded. "We wanna get married today...before he goes in for his surgery."

"Well, I can go ask the hospital priest if he can help you out," she said.

"Yeah," Kate answered.

"Ok, well maybe you should call your parents. I'm sure they'd want to be here," she stated.

"Neither of us have parents," Sawyer mumbled.

"Well then gaurdians."

Natalie left the room and Kate crawled back into the bed with Sawyer. She smiled at him and kissed him again.

"I stopped," she said. "I'm not going to drink any more. You need me...Jack made me see that. I'm going to be here with you every day till you get better."

"Thanks," he smirked. "I'm glad that you're not drinking any more. It scares the hell out of me."

"When Jack told me that you had cancer...Well all that matters is that the bottle is gone. I threw it against the wall."

"I'm guessing that, that wasn't your first reaction," he began.

"No," she answered, looking guilty again. "I was going to drink the whole bottle...but Jack stopped me. I don't know what would have happened if Jack hadn't forced his way in my room."

"Well, my guess is that you'd be laying right there next to me," he replied. "But it's gone? No more?"

"Definitely. I'm done. I'm still not over anything that happened, but I know that you need me right now."

"I do," he nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, the tears were filling her eyes again.

"Hey," he whispered. "It's ok. It's ok."

She swallowed hard and leaned back against him. He hugged her and kissed her softly. She put her hands on his face.

"Hey!" Natalie came back in the room, with a priest following her. "I thought I told you that James needs his rest."

"Sorry," Kate whispered. She began to get out of the bed, but Sawyer held her tighter.

"You stay here," he said into her ear. "Stay here with me. Please can she? Who knows if I'll even be here tomorrow. I want to hold her as much as I can."

"Stop," Kate gulped. "You said you were going to be fine. So you are. You have to be Sawyer. Please tell me-tell me everything is going to be ok, even if it's not."

Sawyer didn't say anything, but he pulled her closer. He looked at Natalie and the priest.

"See?" he said quietly. "She ain't goin' nowhere. She belongs right here in my arms."

"Did you two want to get married today?" the priest asked.

"Yeah," Kate stated, perking up and wiping her tears out of her eyes. "As soon as we can."

"Ok, were you going to have any witnesses?" he asked. "Parents? Friends?"

"Their family wants to be here," Jack stated, walking in the door with Margo and even Christian. Shannon, Sayid, and Hurley followed close behind.

"How are you feeling, Sawyer?" Shannon asked quietly.

"Great," he smiled. "I'm getting married to the love of my life."

Everyone gathered in the room and the priest began to speak. He was getting ready to start the vows, when Sawyer stopped him.

"Wait," he interrupted. "I have something to say."

"Sawyer," Kate began. "We don't have any vows written. I don't know what I'm gonna say."

"Well I don't really care," he argued. "I do have something to say. We've known each other for about 6 months. Most people probably think we're crazy and too young to be getting married, but I love you. I fell in love with you the moment that I saw you sitting outside of your house. We've been through more in the past 6 months than most people in their entire lives."

A small smile played at Kate's lips. Everyone else was trying their best not to laugh.

"Shut up," he scoffed. "I know this sounds so dumb, but it's damn true. I love you Kate. And I'm gonna beat this, damn cancer too. I don't want to make you a widow at 18."

"I love you Sawyer," Kate began. "That's all. I just love you. I don't have anything else to say. It's just so simple to me. But I have one question for you."

"Ok," he said, somewhat apprehensively.

"Will you go to prom with me?" she asked.

He chuckled and kissed her. The priest announced them husband and wife. Everyone clapped and smiled, even Jack. Christian quickly left, claiming that he was still working and had other stuff to do.

Sawyer kissed Kate softly and he machines he was attatched to started beeping faster. Everyone in the room groaned and decided to leave.

Kate stayed with Sawyer until they kicked her out. As she walked slowly down the the hall it took everything for her not to turn back and sleep in Sawyer's arms. Jack was waiting for her in the parking lot to take her home. The car ride was very quiet except for Kate's quiet breaths that she was taking, forcing herself not to cry.

"Kate," Jack said quietly. "You're allowed to cry. Don't try to make yourself not cry just because you're a little embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed," she replied, still trying not to cry. "I'm just afriad if I start, I won't be able to stop. What if-no...I don't want to think about the what ifs...Jack, Sawyer could die. He could be dead by tomorrow and I'll never get to see him again, or hug him, or kiss him."

She was now crying softly. She was trying to discreetlywipe the tears from her eyes, but they just kept falling. Jack looked over at her sympathetically. She looked up and saw the car pull out in front of them. Jack wasn't paying attention.

"Jack!" she screamed.

**A/N: So yeah...I hope that the married thing wasn't too cheesy. When I read back over it, it is a little OOC for both of them. I also know that they're probably too young to get married, but I feel like under the circumstances it was ok. Anyway what's gonna happen now? Pleaase review!**


	25. Chapter 25

Jack quickly looked back at the road and swereved violently. The car quickly went into the ditch. Kate looked at Jack and breathed heavily. There were still tears falling down Kate's cheeks. Jack looked over at Kate. 

"Are you ok?" he asked. She nodded and wiped her cheeks again. Still the tears continued to fall.

"Are you?" she questioned.

"Yeah," he answered. "I'm fine. We just have to figure out a way out of this ditch."

"Are you guys alright?" a soft voice asked. Kate and Jack turned toward the voice. Jack nodded and got out of the car. Kate got out too and walked up the ditch to sit on the side of the road. She sat down and put her head down on her knees. She turned her head in the direction on the traffic. She watched the bright headlights coming at her. Part of her wished that a car would hit her. She didn't want to die...but she thought about what Sawyer said earlier _'You'd be in this bed next to me.'_. That's really where she wished she could be more than anything right now. She thought it was stupid that she wasn't allowed to spend the night. It was, after all the last night she might ever get with him. Jack and the unknown voice assessed the damage to the car. Kate could hear them talking about how they were going to push the car out of the ditch. She knew there wouldn't be a way without calling a tow truck. Plus if either Jack or the unknown voice had eyes they would notice that the back tire was completely flat. Kate kept her mouth shut. She wanted to see how Jack was going to get them out of this mess. It wasn't his fault. She wasn't blaming him...but if he had been looking at the road instead of at her, he would have seen the car. Jesus they could have both been killed. Kate's lifeless body could be laying in the car right now waiting for the ambulence and police cars to come. She could hear the police chief now..._'Well that poor girl didn't have a family anyway...take her body away...good thing the hero Jack survived so he could grow up and be a workaholic like his father'_. Kate was just thinking. She knew that Jack didn't want to be like his dad...but she knew that he wanted to go into medicine...and being a spinal surgeon seemed to be a pretty demanding job. Taking crazy trips all around the world...cheating on a loving and doting wife. Kate knew that Margo loved Christian more than anything...but she also knew that Margo was one of the most unhappy women she had ever known. It was one of the reasons that Kate could never be with Jack. But now she didn't have to worry about that. She was married. Her husband, her _husband_, was laying in a hospital right now. He would be going into surgery tomorrow. He might not come out of it. When she saw him tomorrow, IF she saw him, he would be bald. He would have a badage covering his head. He would be sleeping and weak. Kate wouldn't be able to help him. Kate did something then that she hadn't done since she was a little girl. She put her head further down between her legs and folded her hands.

_Dear god, please let Sawyer live through this. We have to have a family. I want his kids, and he needs to be alive and healthy to watch them grow up. He's my husband. He's my husband._ "HE'S MY HUSBAND!"

"Kate, are you ok?" Jack asked. Kate hadn't realized that she really did scream the last part. She nodded slowly and lifted her head again.

"What's going on with the car?" she questions softly.

"That guy went up to the gas station up there to call a tow truck," Jack replied. "We've got a flat."

"I could have told you that," she mumbled softly. Jack didn't hear her. She sighed deeply and then turned her head back toward the on-coming traffic. She squinted her eyes as the headlights seemed to burn through her retinas. She felt someone, Jack, come sit next to her. She could feel the heaviness of his coat fall on her shoulders.

"No," she whispered. "I'm hot."

"I'm sorry," he stated. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," she shook her head. "You didn't see the car. I'm fine."

"Not about the car accident," he replied. "About Sawyer."

"Well, that's not your fault either," she said. "But thanks I guess. Jack...will you do me a favor tonight?"

"Sure," he nodded. "Name it."

"Can you pray for him?" she asked. "I know that you don't really pray much, but I just-well I'm not either, but I just...I don't even know if it would help, but-"

"Kate," he stopped her. "Yeah. Of course I will. I think it will help if you believe it will. He loves you a lot, you know? He asked me a favor too. He told me to take care of you if he doesn't make it. And I'm letting you know right now Kate, that I will always take care of you. And I will always be here for you, even if he does make it. And he will Kate. He has to."

"I know," she whispered. "But he might not. And if he doesn't, I honestly don't know what I will do."

Jack put his arm around her. They both waited for the tow truck together. Kate let the tears slip down her cheeks again. She hated that she was so weak right now. She wanted her bottle of vodka, but she wasn't going to get it. She was going to stay sober and strong for Sawyer.

When they got home Kate walked like a zombie up to Sawyer's room. She opened his dresser drawer and took out a t-shirt. It was his favorite one. She pulled it over her head and breathed in his scent. It smelled like his cologne. It wasn't too strong...it was just simply the way he smelled. She could detect a small odor of cigarette's on the shirt too. He hadn't smoked in months, but she figured it must just be in the fibers of the shirt permanently. It was a very comforting smell. Even though usually the smell of smoke made her sick and reminded her of Wayne, she liked it mixed with Sawyer's cologne. She laid down on Sawyer's bed and let herself sink into the pillow and matress. She wanted to have his arms around her. Her own arms were no replacement for his. She tried to arrange herself in a way that made it seem like Sawyer was laying behind her, but nothing was working. She sighed deeply and stood back up. She walked around the room and then finally decided to go downstairs. Margo and Jack were still awake. Jack was telling her about the small mishap that happened. Kate sat down on the steps to listen in on the conversation.

"I don't know mom, she's pretty shaken up," Jack stated. "I mean, I think that she should be...but I don't know how we're gonna get her through this if Sawyer doesn't make it."

"Are you ok?" she asked. "I'm sorry to change the subject, but you said you almost hit another car. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine mom," he answered. "I'm just really worried about Kate. I mean she's still my best friend. And her husband might die tomorrow."

"Sawyer, won't die," Margo replied. "He's strong...and he has Kate on his side...I think he'll fight even harder because of that."

"I think she wishes that she would have gotten hurt in that accident," Jack mumbled. "She was talking to me about how she wished Sawyer was right...Sawyer told her that if she hadn't stopped drinking she would be in the bed next to him...I think she really wanted to be in that bed."

"They wouldn't let her stay?" Margo asked.

"No," he shook his head. "They said that visiting hours ended strictly at 7:00...they allowed her to stay till 8. But that wasn't enough for her."

"Well think about it Jack," she began. "What if it was Kate? You know that you would want to spend every second with her."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Only Sawyer wouldn't let me. I can't believe that they're married. It's so weird."

"Yeah," she answered. "It is kind of weird. But they do really love each other. They look at each other the way your father and I used to look at each other."

"Dad loves you mom," Jack said.

"Really?" she asked. "I don't think so. I think he pretty much puts up with me."

The doorbell rang and Kate jumped. She stood up and walked to the door. She opened the door and the girl that she had shared the cab with was standing in front of her. The girl fell into Kate's arms sobbing uncontrollably. Not knowing exactly what to do, Kate stroked her hair and brought her inside.

"Kate?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate whispered.

"C-ca-can I stay here tonight?" she questioned.

"Well, i-it's not my house," Kate began. "What happened?"

"My mom," she answered. "My mom died. The machines that were keeping her alive...my stupid aunt! She told them to cut the machines off. When I got home my mom was already dead and they had already had the funeral. How could she do that to me?...she was my mommy."

"Claire right?" Kate asked. "That's your name?"

"Yeah," she sniffled.

"Let me go talk to Margo," she said quietly.

"Margo's here?" she asked. "His wife?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "She's here way more than Christian is here."

"Kate, what is going on?" Margo asked, appearing in the doorway.

"Oh," Kate began. "This is my friend Claire. Um. She's-"

"Dad's daughter," Jack interrupted. "This is dad's daughter."

"Oh," Margo whispered, hardly surprised by the revalation that Christian had another child.

"You knew?" Kate and Jack both asked.

"Of course I did," Margo scoffed. "What do you want? Christian isn't here. And I'm not going to give you any money...that will have to be Christian's decision."

"Margo," Kate started. "She has no where to go. She just found out that her mom died. She's here to get a place to stay. I really think she just needs a friendly face."

"Kate, are you absolutely insane!" Jack asked. "She can't stay here! My dad would kill us. She's got to go."

"Jack Christian Shephard!" Margo said somewhat forcefully. "Girl, is it true that your mother just passed away?"

"Her name is Claire," Kate told her.

"Ok then, Claire," Margo corrected herself.

"Yes ma'am," Claire answered meekly.

"Come here then," Margo held her arms out and Claire stepped toward her. Margo hugged the small girl and almost treated her as if she was a long lost daughter. Margo looked at Claire in the face.

"Why don't you take Kate's room for the night?" Margo said quietly. "Kate can sleep in Sawyer's room. And we'll figure out everything in the morning...now I'm not saying this is permanent, or even semi-pemanent, but you can stay for tonight."

"Thank you," Claire said, a little shocked at Margo's reaction. Margo took Claire up the stairs, leaving Kate and Jack dumbfounded at the bottom of the stairs.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. "She had a hissy fit when Sawyer came to stay here."

"I don't know," Kate half chuckled.

"And what were you doing coming down the stairs?" he questioned, this time a little more angry. "You weren't gonna sneak some alcohol were you?"

"No," she whispered. "I was coming down here to watch some TV. I heard you and your mom talking and I didn't want to intrude."

"So you eaves dropped?" Jack asked, in a calm voice, not accusingly at all.

"Not really trying to," she responded. "But I guess a little. Are you ok? I mean with this whole me and Sawyer being married. I know that it all happened so fast, but-your opinion does still mean something to me."

"Well, there really isn't much I can do about it now, is there?" he asked. "But if you want the truth...here goes. It's not that I'm upset about it...I just don't get why it had to be right this second. What if he does die Kate? You're going to be alone...well you'll never be alone alone...but-"

"I just wanted to say that for one day I was totally happy," she answered him.

"But you weren't happy today," he argued. "You were miserable and worried and upset."

"But I was happy too," she replied. "I got to marry the man of my dreams. And I know we're young, and in the next 10, 20, 40 years we could be anywhere in our lives. But all that matters to me is that we're in love now. And that means everything. So...we're married. And I'm so glad that I got to marry him."

"Do you want me to come with you to the hospital tomorrow to wait with you while Sawyer goes in for his surgery?" he asked.

"Would you?" she questioned back. "Because I would really like that. Just someone there to hold my hand."

"I'll be there all 13 hours then," he replied.

"Can we go first thing in the morning?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "You gotta tell your husband good luck and how much you love him."

"Thanks Jack," she sniffled. Jack reached over and pulled Kate into a hug. She rearraged herself in Jack's arms so her head was now on his shoulder. "Jack?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

"I have another really big favor to ask you," she started.

"Ok," he said. "What is it?"

"Will you just hold me here till I fall asleep?" she asked. "I know it's asking a lot, but I can't sleep without someones arms around me."

"Yeah," he answered quietly. "Just try not to think about tomorrow...think about going to prom with Sawyer. You're wearing, well, I know you hate dresses, but you look really pretty in them...so you're wearing a pretty dress. Sawyer is dancing with you on the dance floor and all eyes are on you."

Jack looked down at Kate and noticed that she had already fallen asleep. He carefully laid her down on the couch and kissed her forehead. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch and held Kate's hand for a few more minutes, to make sure she was really asleep.

**A/N: I hope everyone liked this chap! Next chap will be Sawyer's opperation. Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

Jack walked with Kate down the hall. When they got to Sawyer's room Kate went inside by herself. The room was empty. She walked over to where Sawyer should be laying. His bed looked like it had been slept in, but he wasn't there. She looked around the room for some kind of sign of him. The door creaked open and a doctor walked through the doorway. 

"Hmm, do you know where James Ford is?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "I was hoping you could tell me that. He's supposed to have surgery today...like right now."

"Yeah," the doctor nodded. "I know. I was supposed to come in here and prep him for his surgery...he's not here?"

"No!" she yelled. "Find him!"

"Find who?" Sawyer's voice stated.

"Where the hell were you?" she asked. He was walking to his bed and laid back down. "You should be resting."

"I had to pee," he answered. "Is that alright nurse Kate?"

"No," she sighed. "I mean yes, I just-I was worried. I came to say good luck."

"I'll be fine," he replied. "Before you know it I'll be outta this damn hospital, and we'll be able to be a lame old married couple."

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Yes, now get your cute little ass over here," he stated. She walked over to him and hugged him tightly. She kissed him on the lips. Neither of them noticed that the doctor was still standing in the room. Kate continued to kiss him, and refused to pull away.

"I want to remember the feeling of your lips for the next 13 hours," she chuckled. "I love you."

"Well, you'll get to see me after surgery. I'll see you later darlin'," he said.

"Aren't you gonna tell me you love me?" she asked.

"It's too final," he shook his head. "Just know that I do, and I'll tell you 100 times when I get out of sugery ok?"

"Ok," she whispered. She bent down and kissed him once more. She waved meekly as she walked out of the room.

"That was pretty brave of you Mr. Ford," the doctor said when the door latched shut. "You've gotta be scared though."

"Of course I'm not," he scoffed. "I don't get scared. I'll be fine."

"It's just me and you right now," the doctor informed him. "Do you have any questions or concerns?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "How long am I gonna have to stay here after my surgery?"

"Probably at least a week," the doctor answered. "Maybe a little longer. It all depends on the speed of your recovery."

"Ok," he mumbled. "And how long before I can have sex with my wife?"

"Is that really all you're worried about?" the doctor asked. "Because, yeah I admit that your wife is gorgeous, but you're about to have a major operation sir. Are you sure you don't have any questions about the outcome?"

"I don't want to know," he shook his head. "Just answer my question."

"I don't know," he replied. "Probably a few weeks. You have to give yourself time to recover."

"It ain't like I have a heart problem," he scoffed.

"Yeah, it's a much more vital organ sir. You've heard of heart transplants, and lung transplants, but never in the history of medicine has there been a brain transplant. If that gets screwed up you only have one," the doctor told him.

"Oh, you're making me feel much better about this," Sawyer sighed. "Let's just get it over with."

"It's ok to be scared," the doctor told him.

"I already told ya, I'm not scared," Sawyer said. "Now are we gonna do this or are we gonna chat all day?"

As Kate sat in the waiting room with Jack she spent most of the time trying to breath and keep her mind of the brick that seemed to be sitting in the pit of her stomach. She was holding on to Jack's hand so tight that both of their fingers were changing colors. Jack finally was able to take his hand away from her. She looked at him somewhat in shock.

"Sorry," he said quitely. "But Kate, you were cutting off my circulation...and probably your own too."

"Sorry," she whispered.

"It's alright," Jack replied. He put his arms around her and held out his hand for her to take again. She held on to it again, this time not as tight. The first 2 hours were the worst. By the third hour Jack and Kate were playing I-Spy with each other.

"I spy, with my little eye, something...green," Jack stated. Kate looked around the room. She saw a child's toy sitting in the middle of the floor with green paint on it.

"That?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered. "You're going to have to _look_ carefully."

She looked around again, but still didn't see anything. She saw a chart sitting on the counter that had a green sticker on it.

"That sticker?" she asked.

"No," he chuckled. "Kate, _look_."

She looked across the room and finally spotted a mirror. She rolled her eyes at him and scoffed.

"You're such a cheater," she shook her head.

"Well?" he asked.

"My damn green eyes," she answered.

"You're starting to sound like Sawyer," he told her.

"Well someone has to," she replied. "And I know you ain't gonna."

"I have an idea Kate," he stated. "Stand up."

"Why?" she asked. "You've been taller than me since the 4th grade."

"3rd," he argued.

"No," she argued back. "It was 4th grade. I remember because I was really upset when I found out that you were finally taller than me. I thought I'd always be taller."

"Ok," he sighed. "But that's not what I mean. Come on. I have a really good idea that will help you keep your mind off of things."

She took his hand and they walked out of the room. Jack tagged her on the shoulder and began to run.

"Oh, you better run."

They ran down the hall. Kate caught up to Jack quickly even though he was taller. Kate practically knocked him down when she pushed him to tag him back. He slowed down to a walk and lead Kate through the hallways. Finally they came to a stop and Jack pointed into the room that they stopped at. They were at the nusery. They both looked in on the babies. Kate smiled and then her smile formed into a small frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "You always liked to come look at the babies when we used to come visit my dad."

"I know," she whispered. "It's-I just-Sawyer would make a really good dad I think. I mean if he cleaned up his language...I just think he'd be really cute with a baby in his arms. And we were supposed-I should be 3 months pregnant right now."

"Oh Kate," Jack sighed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking. God, I'm an idiot. I just thought-"

"Jack it's ok," she nodded. "It's not something that has been on your mind every day for the couple weeks."

"Yeah, but you're my best friend, and it _has_ been on your mind. I should have-I'm sorry."

"Jack," she began. "I'm ok. I just need Sawyer to be ok...cuz one day I do want a family with him...I mean not now necessarily, but someday."

"He'll be ok," Jack assured her. They both were practically shoved out of the way by 2 doctors running toward where Kate and Jack had been waiting. 2 nurses came walking by next.

"No, the doctor said he's crashing...his brain is completely exposed," the first nurse stated.

"Why the hell aren't you running then?!" Kate yelled at them. She and Jack both ran back to the waiting room. Kate ran up to the reception desk.

"Is my husband going to be ok?" she asked.

"Ma'am we have no idea," the receptionist shook her head. "I know this is hard, but you're really just gonna have to wait for the doctor to come talk to you."

Kate breathed in deep and sat down next to Jack. Jack sighed and put his hand back in Kate's. This time there was hardly a reaction. She didn't move or squeeze his hand back. They had been sitting there for 30 minutes when a young looking doctor came out. He looked at Jack and Kate.

"Are you Mr. Ford's wife?" he asked.

"Yes," she gulped. "What? Is he ok?"

"He'll be alright," the doctor nodded. "We almost lost him, but we're doing everything we can, and he's stablized now."

"How much longer?" Kate asked.

"Ma'am it's only been 2 and a half hours," he told her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "So how much longer!"

"At least 9 more hours," the doctor answered quickly. "And believe me...this is his brain that we're talking about...there may be other concerns. I don't want you to get yourself all worked up, but it's gonna be hard. We'll keep you posted."

Kate sighed deeply and stood back up. Kate refused to leave the room again. Jack left to get food. He ate, while Kate continued to walk around the waiting room. It was around the 12th hour of surgery, Kate was starved, and she was glad that Jack had gotten her food even though she told him not to get her anything. She sat down and ate. After she was done eating she ran to the bathroom. Jack couldn't very well follow her into the women's public bathroom so he waited for her outside.

Kate had been in the bathroom for a good 20 minutes, when finally Jack thought it would be best if he went into the bathroom to see if she was ok. He opened the door a crack.

"Kate!" he yelled. "I'm coming in!"

He went into the bathroom. There was a woman standing in front of the sink washing her hands. She looked at him in somewhat alarm.

"My friend is in here," he told her. "I just need to see if she's ok."

"Oh," the woman whispered. She pointed to the last stall and nodded sadly. Jack thanked her silently and went toward the stall.

"Kate," he said quietly. He could hear Kate sobbing quietly.

"Jack, please, just leave me alone right now," she said. "I just need to let all this out. Thank you so much for sitting with me for 12 hours. I know it's been boring. But for these last 40 minutes or whatever...I just need to be alone."

"Well, he's made it this far, I'm sure he'll be fine," Jack assured her.

"Well, what if he's not Jack," she shook her head. "What if they don't get it all? What if after this he still has cancer and dies?"

"Then, when those what if's happen, we'll deal with it. We'll help him through it," Jack responded. "But I'll leave you alone now if that's what you really want."

"It is," she replied.

Jack walked back out to the waiting room and sat down. He really didn't know what else he was supposed to do. He decided that if she wasn't out in another 20 minutes he would go check on her. He was watching the door to the operating room. It opened slowly and a doctor came out. He walked over to Jack and sighed deeply.

"No," Jack whispered. "You're-don't."

"He's ok," the doctor said calmly. "We're gonna take him to recovery right now. He can't have any visitors for at least 3 hours."

"That's what you think," Kate stated, appearing in the hallway. "I'm going in to see my husband, right now."

"He's sleeping," the doctor told her. "He just went through major major surgery ma'am he needs his rest."

"Well then I'll just go sit with him," she answered. "I'll sit next to him and hold his hand, but I'm going to see him."

"Ma'am-" the doctor began.

"I'm not a ma'am!" she yelled. "I'm his wife. Ok...we got married so that we could be together forever...and forever is going to start right now. Tell me where he is."

"They're taking him down to recovery right now," the doctor answered calmly. "You'll have to wait a few minutes for them to get him all settled in. I'll come get you in 20 minutes."

"I'll follow you," Kate replied.

"I have other work to do Mrs. Ford," the doctor stated. "I promise that I'll come back and get you in 20 minutes. Ok?"

"Mrs. Ford," Kate whispered and smiled. She turned back to Jack. "He called me Mrs. Ford."

"Well," Jack chuckled. "That's who you are."

* * *

The doctor kept his word and was back in 15 minutes instead of 20. He lead Kate through the halls to go see Sawyer. She stopped outside of the room and looked at the doctor.

"Before we go in there," she started. "Is he going to be ok? Did you get all the cancer?"

"We think we did, but we won't know for certain till the swelling goes down and we can put him in the CAT scan machine again. But you shouldn't have anything to worry about."

Kate nodded and walked into the room. She sat down next to Sawyer who was sleeping. She put her head on the bed and took Sawyer's hand in her own. She felt his hand flinch. She looked up at him. His eyes were fluttering open.

"Hey," she whispered. "Can you hear me?"

"Hey gorgeous," he whispered back.

She smiled at him and sighed a deep breath of relief. Her relief didn't last very long because the next thing he said, scared the hell out of her.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she started. "It's me...Kate. It's your freckles."

"Well you're beautiful, but I don't see how you're mine."

"Sawyer, we got married," she reminded him. "Yesterday."

"You don't have a ring on your finger," he noted.

"I know," she whispered. "We did it kind of last minute. You were going into surgery...I wanted to marry you as soon as I could."

"Kate," he began. "I'm just yankin' your chain. I could never forget you babe."

"Don't do that!" she exclaimed. She smiled widely and took his hand again. She rested her head on the bed while still sitting in the chair. He fell back to sleep almost immediately.

After they were in the recovery room for an hour they took Sawyer up to a real hospital room. Kate spent the next 8 hours next to him. She allowed Sawyer to sleep, because she wanted to make sure that he recovered fully. She woke up and Sawyer was watching her.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Go back to sleep."

"I ain't tired," he answered. "I slept for 13 hours during my surgery, and I just now slept for 8 more. I'm wide awake."

"Ok," she nodded.

"Come 'ere," he said. He pulled her arm weakly, telling her to get up on the bed.

"No," she shook her head. "I can't. If I get caught they will kick me out for sure, and I want to stay here as long as I possibly can."

"Well, then tell me a story."

"Jack and I almost got killed last night," she chuckled. "We almost got into a car accident on the way home. No one was hurt, but I kinda wanted to be so I could be in the hospital with you."

"You're crazy," he sighed. "I wouldn't want you to get hurt. Ok...I know you don't want to get into bed with me, but can you at least give me a kiss? I'm starting to forget what your lips feel like."

"Liar," she smiled. She stood up and kissed him gently. Then she sat back down, and put her hand on his face. "You look weird without hair."

"Thanks a lot," he mumbled.

"Not bad weird, just different," she answered defensively. "You're still just as sexy and I still love you."

"Good to know," he replied. "Oh and Kate. I love you, I love you, I love you...only 97 more to go."

There was a small knock on the door. Kate stood up quickly and went to the door. Jack was standing there along with Margo, Claire, Shannon, Sayid, Hurley, and Ana-Lucia.

"Is he up for some visitors?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, I think so, as long as you don't stay too long," Kate nodded. Ana-Lucia looked at Kate and pulled her into a hug. Kate reluctantly hugged her back, not really knowing how to react.

"He's ok?" she sobbed.

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "For now."

"I know I said I'd stay away from him, but he's-he..." Ana started.

"It's ok," Kate replied. "Of course you should be here. Come on in."

Everyone hugged Kate, and then gathered around Sawyer's bed. Claire introduced herself. Sawyer thought he really had lost his memory since he didn't know who she was.

"I'm Jack's sister I guess," she said quietly. "I spent the night last night at the Shephard's house."

"Oh, so do we have a new member of our dysfunctional family?" Sawyer asked.

"No," Claire answered. "Just for last night. I'm not sure where I'll go, but...my dad never wanted me. He already had a family."

"Claire, now that we know you exsist you're not going anywhere," Jack replied. "I'm going to get my dad to join us, and we'll figure this all out right now."

"Jack," Margo began.

"No mom," Jack interrupted. "We have to settle this once and for all. Dad has to face this and I almost think it should be his decision whether she stays with us."

Jack left the room. Everyone stared around at each other, feeling the air get very thick.

"So apparently I'm not gonna die," Sawyer stated, to fill the silence with something. Everyone smiled. Ana-Lucia looked at him with tears glinting in her eyes.

"Chica, come here," he whispered. "It's gonna be ok, I promise. Surgery's all done. I'm alive, I'll be fine."

She shook her head and walked away from his bed.

"I'm just-you might not have survived," she whispered. "And I know that I said I'd stay away, but you don't know how hard that was for me. I love you Jamie."

"I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry. But hey...Kate broke Jack's heart...he needs someone."

Kate closed her eyes and shook her head. She looked at Sawyer, and gave him the 'you're in trouble later' look.

"I'm sorry, but it's true," Sawyer stated.

"Jack has Juliet," Kate mumbled. "Remember? It wasn't that long ago. A couple days. Wow...seems like forever ago doesn't it?"

Jack came back a few minutes later without his dad, but called Margo and Claire out of the room, for a 'talk'. Everyone else stayed for as long as they were allowed. When the nurse came in and noticed that there were 5 extra people in the room she kicked everyone out. Kate refused to leave, and the nurse didn't argue with her.

It was 5:00. Kate was reading Sawyer a book. He was listening to her intently and rubbing her hand with his own. The door opened a crack. Kate was expecting it to be either a nurse, or Jack asking if she needed a ride home later. Neither Kate or Sawyer expected it to be who it was.

A young brunette woman walked through the door carrying a baby. The baby looked like she was around 3 months old.

"Hi Sawyer," the mysterious woman whispered. "Clementine wanted to meet her daddy."

**A/N: Ok...I hope you all still enjoy my story. Please please review! Thanks!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: OK so this chap a lot of stuff happens. I hope that it doesn't all happen too quickly for everyone. **

Kate looked at Sawyer and then back at the woman. She looked like she was a little older than Kate, but not much. Kate crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

"Who is this Sawyer?" Kate asked.

"I was about to ask the same thing," the woman said. "I'm Cassidy. Sawyer's wife."

"She ain't my wife!" Sawyer exclaimed. "You are...Kate. I promise she is _not_ my wife."

"Ok, I'm not," she chuckled. "But I did have his baby...so if your his wife, I guess this is your step daughter. Now do you mind giving me and Sawyer a minute alone?"

"Actually," Kate started. "I do mind. I'm not letting you stay in here to upset him. He just had his head cut into. In fact, you need to leave."

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "It's ok. How about you go get me some food, or ice chips or whatever the hell they'll let me have...Please Kate."

"No!" she exclaimed. "Sawyer...how do you even know if the kid is yours?"

"Freckles, come here," he said. She walked toward him and frowned. "I just need to talk to her for a minute. Just give us 5 minutes ok?"

"Fine," she sighed. She uncrossed her arms and bent down to kiss his cheek. "But I'm going to be back soon."

Kate walked out of the room. Jack was standing in front of her. She looked at him sadly and shook her head.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Sawyer has a kid," she whispered. "His ex-girlfriend just came...so I left. She has his baby. Jack...I want his baby...why does some other woman get to have his baby, but me...his own wife doesn't? He's gonna leave me and go be with his baby...why else would he want to talk to her?"

"Kate," Jack began. "I really don't think that you should-don't get yourself all worked up. He wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you."

"Maybe he married me because he felt sorry for me."

"You know that's not-" Kate leaned forward and kissed Jack softly. Jack pushed her away and sighed deeply. "Kate, you don't know-you're married."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. Jeez what the hell is wrong with me."

She sunk to the floor and put the back of her head against the wall. Jack sat down next to her and patted her on the shoulder.

"Nothing is the matter with you," Jack started. "But I really don't think that Sawyer is just going to leave you because some other woman has his kid. He loves you Kate...that's why he married you. He didn't feel sorry for you."

"Yeah," she murmured. "You're right. I'm just being stupid. I'm jealous of her and of Claire."

"Kate, I'm going to say something, and it's not to upset you or make you mad, but it's just to try to keep your mind at ease," he began. "Maybe you and Sawyer just weren't ready yet to be parents. I mean if you had, had the baby...maybe Sawyer never would have asked you to marry him. I'm just trying to make sense of it. You need to stop making yourself crazy over it. It'll happen again when the time is right."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I just sort of want it to be now instead of later."

"Well, maybe when Sawyer is feeling better...you guys can try again. Now that you're married it won't be as big of a deal right?" Jack asked.

"Thanks Jack," she nodded.

"Anyway, I came in to see if you wanted a ride," he told her.

"Yeah," she answered. "But I do think I should say goodnight to Sawyer. He'll be pretty pissed if I just leave without saying goodbye."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll just wait outside."

Cassidy walked toward Sawyer and took his hand. She started crying. Sawyer didn't know how to react. He sighed softly and looked at the baby.

"She ain't mine," he mumbled. "What are you doing here, Dimples?"

She let out a soft sob and took a deep breath.

"I missed that," she whispered. "You calling me Dimples. I love you. I miss you. But I came here to tell you that I'm moving. I'm going to Italy. I just wanted you to meet your daughter before I went."

"Why?" he asked. "So you can just say, 'oh, here's your daughter, and you're never going to see her again'? If you're going to Italy then go. I don't care what you do."

"I wanted to have you meet her so maybe you'd want to keep in touch with her," Cassidy stated. "I thought maybe you'd want to write her letters."

"I have a life now," he mumbled. "I have a life here. I'm happy for the first time in my entire life."

"Well I'm leaving for Italy in July, so you still have a few months to get to know your daughter," she replied. "Will you at least hold her?"

Before Sawyer could say anything Cassidy lowered the baby into his arms. Clementine reached up at Sawyer's face and smiled widely. Sawyer looked down at the baby and didn't smile back. He didn't know what to feel.

Kate stood up and looked down at Jack. She let herself in the room without knocking. Sawyer was sitting up and holding the baby. He looked very uncomfortable. He handed the baby back to Cassidy, still not noticing that Kate was in the doorway. Cassidy bent down and kissed Sawyer's lips softly.

"I really do miss you," she whispered.

"I get it," he stated. He brushed his hand over her hair. "I do. But I'm in love with someone else...and she means more to me than anything ever has."

"Ok," Cassidy nodded. "Think about what I said Sawyer. Don't give up on your baby. You have to think about this gorgeous little baby in my arms."

"She's pretty," Sawyer mumbled. "But...she's all yours Cass. I can't be her daddy. I have a new family. I have to concentrate on getting better...for Kate."

"'bye James," she whispered. She left the room and pushed passed Kate. Sawyer finally noticed Kate standing there. She walked over to the edge of his bed and breathed in deep. Sawyer took both of Kate's hands and pulled her into the bed. She laid down in his arms and kissed his lips.

"I don't want to talk about anything tonight Sawyer," she whispered. "I just came in to say goodnight. I'm gonna go back home."

"No," he whispered. "Just stay in my arms all night."

"I can't," she shook her head. "They won't let me."

"Well, at least we could try," he argued. "It ain't like you to just give up."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll stay in your arms till they kick me out. Did you mean all those things?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it tonight," he chuckled.

"I lied," she responded. "I heard everything Sawyer. I just want to know how much of it was true, and how much of it was a lie to get her to leave you alone."

"All of it," he replied. "All of it was the truth."

He kissed her again and tightened his arms around her. The large lump that had formed in Kate's throat made it's way to the top and she let out a small sob.

"Darlin' don't cry," he whispered. She snuggled into his chest and let out another deep breath.

"I'm just-I was so scared that you were going to choose her," Kate responded. "When she walked in here with your baby...I was just so scared that you were going to regret marrying me."

"The only thing I regret Kate, is getting Cassidy pregnant," he told her. "I'm sorry that I'm as experienced as I am. I wish that you would have been my first, because you're the first person I've ever loved."

Kate could feel the goosebumps on her arms. She sighed and closed her eyes. She fell asleep in Sawyer's arms. Sawyer was still wide awake and watching her. He watched the door open, and hoped that it wouldn't be a doctor or nurse, there to kick Kate out. Instead it was Jack.

"Hey," Jack said. Sawyer put his finger to his lips.

"Kate's sleepin'," Sawyer told him quietly.

"Oh," Jack nodded. "I came to see if she was ready to go home. Is she just gonna stay till visiting hours are over?"

"She's gonna stay as long as the doctor nazis let her."

"They're not gonna let her sleep here," Jack told him. "I mean...I hate to be pessimistic, but they won't. Believe me."

Jack sat down in the chair next to Sawyer's bed. He sighed deeply and looked at Kate, who for the first time since the day before looked content.

"She kissed me," Jack chuckled. "I'm not saying it to piss you off or to hurt either of you. I'm telling you because she loves you more than anything. She was hurting because of that woman...your baby. So she kissed me."

"Well I guess we're even then, because I kissed Cassidy. Well, she kissed me, and I sort of kissed her back," he replied.

"Well, just so you know...she _does_ love you...a lot...Kate I mean," Jack stated.

"Thanks," he nodded.

**2 Weeks Later**

Sawyer was sitting up in his bed at the Shephard's house. Kate brought him a tray of food and sat down next to him. He chuckled and smiled at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I love that you're taking care of me," he told her.

"No you don't," she shook her head. "You want to do things all by yourself."

"Well, I am feeling much better," he replied. "You gonna sleep with me tonight?"

"If you mean, am I going to sleep next to you, then yes...I have been. But if you're talking about sex...I think we should wait," she answered. "You're still-I mean come on...you had brain surgery."

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I'll ask then."

"Ok," she stated. "It's a deal. But I'll be going with you because I know that you'll just lie about it."

"I wouldn't lie to you Freckles," he replied.

"Yeah you would," she chuckled. "Especially when it comes to...what we're talking about."

Kate moved the food tray on to the floor and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him slowly. She pulled away and Sawyer leaned forward again, to touch her lips.

"I love you so much," she said. "So, if you want to take care of your baby, I'm not going to stop you. Your baby was really cute. She looked exactly like you."

"Kate, I can't be her father," he answered. "I don't regret it. Cassidy is a good mom...she kept the baby from me...and that's exactly what she should keep doing. You're my only family now Kate."

"Ok," she nodded. "But I still-"

"No!" he yelled. "No more. I'm done."

"Sorry," she said. "I just thought-"

"You thought wrong," he mumbled. "I don't want to be Clementine's dad. I just want to be yours forever."

"Ok," she answered. "Alright. I want to be yours forever too. I just don't want you to regret anything."

"The only thing I regret is not meeting you sooner."

Kate let out a small chuckle and snuggled against him again.

The next morning Kate drove Sawyer to the hospital. She waited in the waiting room while Sawyer went in for his tests. She sat reading Watership Down while she waited. He came back almost 2 hours later. He was looking at his feet and looking defeated. Kate took a deep breath and stood up. She didn't say anything to him, but instead wrapped her arms around him.

"We're gonna get through this," she whispered. "I promise."

"Everything looked good," he said, smiling at her. Kate shook her head and let out a loud scoff. She was too happy to be mad. She jumped into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He held her and rubbed her back.

"I hate you," she chuckled. "Why do you do that to me?"

"Because I know that you love me," he answered. "I'm going to be fine Freckles. And we can even make love all night long."

Kate looked at the doctor who was standing behind Sawyer. She was able to climb out of Sawyer's arms.

"Is he telling me the truth?" Kate chuckled.

"As long as you're both careful," the doctor stated. "You just have to make sure that you don't over do it."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Thank you. He's really ok? You got all of the damn cancer?"

"We got all of it," the doctor nodded. "We're going to have to see him again in a few months. Good luck James."

"Thanks doc," he mumbled.

When Kate and Sawyer got home they were walking into the house. Sawyer refused to let go of Kate's hand. They started kissing and heading up the stairs when they both heard arguing coming from the living room.

"She's not staying here!" Margo exlcaimed. "We already have enough people staying here."

"She's my daughter Margo," Christian stated. "I know I haven't known her for 16 years, but she's still my daughter and I feel bad that I didn't get to see her grow up. I want her to stay with us...and now that Kate and Sawyer are married they'll probably be sleeping in the same room. Claire can take Kate's room."

"I can't believe you're making me do this again!" she yelled. "I mean-this is-Sawyer was bad enough, and now you're daughter has to stay with us too?"

Kate and Sawyer continued up the stairs. They could hear Jack and Claire both talking. They headed to Jack's room, where the voices were coming from. Claire was sitting on the floor with her head on her knees.

"Look, my mom is really resonable," Jack said. "I'm sorry that she's being so-well...I don't know. She's being kind of a bitch if I do say so myself. She's been letting you stay here and to just kick you out would be really mean."

"Well, I can't really blame her. I'm not her kid...and I'm not really your dad's kid either...by blood yeah, but it takes more than blood lines to make a good dad."

Sawyer looked at Kate and nodded in agreeance. It told her that he wasn't Clementine's dad just because he's her biological dad. Kate walked toward the door and knocked softly.

"Who is it?" Jack asked.

"It's us," Kate said.

"Who's us?" Jack asked. "Kate and Sawyer?"

"Yeah," she replied. Jack stood up and opened the door the rest of the way. Sawyer and Kate went inside and sat down. Sawyer didn't want to be there...he would have much rather been in his own room with Kate.

"Don't worry Claire," Kate began. "Margo will come around. She'll let you stay. She just will. She let Sawyer stay and he was a complete stranger."

"Well I am a complete stranger to Margo and Christian," she replied. "I mean I don't even want to be here...but since my mom is dead...I'm sorry. I know I'm being stupid."

"It's ok," Jack whispered. "You're allowed to be upset, and you're allowed to say those things...if it makes you feel better. Does it?"

"No," she chuckled. "Not really."

"I just really want to be alone. Can I go wait in Kate's room?"

"Sure," Kate nodded. Kate stood up and took Claire into her room. Claire looked at Kate and looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm pregnant," Claire whispered. "At first the father and I were going to stay together...he left me...that's another reason why I'm not going back. I never want to see him again."

"How far along are you?" Kate asked.

"Just a few months," Claire replied. "I'm giving the baby up for adoption. I can't do this by myself."

"What if you don't have to?" Kate asked. "If you stayed here we would all help you."

"Who says I'm even going to stay here Kate?" Claire half scoffed. "After Christian and Margo are done talking they might decide that I'm not going to stay after all...now I don't mean to be a bitch or rude, but can you just leave me alone now?"

"Yeah," Kate answered. "Talk to you later. I'll probably see you tomorrow."

Kate walked back into the hallway and was pulled into a rough kiss from Sawyer. Sawyer backed her into his room and toward the bed.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Shh," he started. "Let's just spend the next few hours loving each other."

"You're seriously still in the mood after all that?" she chuckled. He answered her by kissing her passionately. She kissed him back but then pushed him up.

"Wait," she said.

"No," he shook his head. "No more waiting."

"No," she protested. "I'm going to lock the door."

She stood up and walked toward the door. She locked the door and then checked it to make sure that it was really locked. She turned back around toward Sawyer. He was already standing next to her and bringing her into a soft kiss. They made their way to the bed, neither of them wanting to break the kiss. They both fumbled with their clothing, as they weren't looking at what they were doing. Neither of them paid attention to the arguing that they could hear right outside of the door. As their skin came together, it was so familiar, but so new at the same time. They were now making love as husband and wife...a strong feeling of comfort rushed over both of them.

She was laying on Sawyer's chest, running her fingers over his chest. He bent down and kissed her.

"I have something for you Freckles," he said quietly. "Hold out your hand."

Kate smiled and chuckled. She held out her hand and he placed what was unmistakenly a ring in her palm. She opened her hand and sure enough saw a small diamond ring sitting in her hand.

"Sawyer," she breathed. "No...it's way too expensive."

"Here," he smiled. He took the ring from her and turned it so she was able to see the inside edge of it. _FOREVER MY FRECKLES_.

"James," she said. "It's still too expensive. I don't-I told you that I didn't need a ring. Besides, when the hell did you have time to go shopping for it?"

"I didn't," he answered. "This is my mama's ring. She gave it to me when I was 7. She told me to keep it safe forever. My daddy was a gamblin' man...you know that, from Sawyer, the real Sawyer who conned him out of 38,000 dollars...but he also loved to go to the race track and the casinos...he would have pawned my mama's ring if he had to. So my mama gave it to me and told me to give it to the woman that I loved."

"It's beautiful," Kate whispered. "How pissed do you think your mom would be that you had it engraved?"

"She told me to do with it what I wanted, as long as someone I loved owned it," he replied. "I think she'd like you a lot...she would just want us to be happy."

"Claire's pregnant," she said, obviously changing the subject completely. "Is it stupid that I'm jealous?"

"No," he shook his head. "Hon, everything is going to work out. I promise you. When we're ready, we'll have a baby."

"Promise me," she stated. "Promise me that we'll have a baby someday and you'll be there."

"I promise you," he replied. The truth was that he never really wanted kids, but then again, he never thought that he would fall in love either. It was totally out of character for him. But he also knew that if Kate ever did get pregnant again...he wouldn't be able to leave her alone. "I love you. Kate you don't have to worry about anything. We'll have a family someday."

"She's 3 months along," Kate whispered. "Just like me...well just like I was supposed to be."

"Kate, now I need you to promise me something ok?" he started. "Promise me that you're not gonna start drinking again. I can't have anything happening to you."

"Ok," she nodded. "I won't. Now that I have you...I'll take care of myself...I promise."

They both heard screaming outside of the door. Then they heard what was unmistakenly the sound of something or someone falling down the stairs.

**A/N: I know...I do enjoy doing the cliffhangers...but the more reviews I get, the quicker I will update for you. So please review ASAP.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you to all my fabulous reviewers. You know I love you all. **

Kate looked at Sawyer in shock and began to get up. She wasn't even half way up when Sawyer pulled her back into his arms and kissed her.

"No," he mumbled. "Stay here. Just stay here...whatever it is I'm sure it's fine."

"Sawyer," she scoffed. "I want to stay in your arms forever, but did you hear that? I'm pretty sure it was the sound of someone falling down the stairs, now let's go."

She got out of the bed and wrapped her robe around herself. Sawyer reluctantly followed her and they made their way out into the hall. They looked at the bottom of the stairs and saw everyone gathered. Kate ran down the stairs, and practically fell she was going so fast.

"Dad!" Jack yelled. "Wake up!"

"Jack don't move him," Margo whispered.

"I know that mom!" he screamed at her. "Dad! Open your eyes you son of a bitch!"

"Jack!" Kate exclaimed. "I'm gonna go call 9-1-1."

She walked into the other room and dialed the phone. She began to panic slightly when she didn't get an answer right away. When the dispatcher finally picked up Kate told her everything she knew...but since she didn't know really what happened, Claire came and took the phone.

"Um, he was coming up the stairs and he fell...I think he's been drinking," Claire stated. "Just hurry...he's not moving, and I don't think he's breathing...ok...thank you."

Kate and Claire made their way back into the stairway. Jack was sitting on the bottom step with his head in his hands. Kate walked toward Jack and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned away from her and went up the stairs. Kate shook her head and sighed deeply. Margo walked out of the room, clearly in tears. Claire followed her. Sawyer walked over to next to Kate and sat down. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked at Christian.

"I know this sounds stupid," she started. "But Christian was almost like my second father. I know that he's never around, but he's around more than my real dad...or my other dad...I dunno. I'm just rambling."

"No," he shook his head. "Christian looks out for you. He's gonna make it. He's gonna be fine."

"Sawyer, I'm pretty sure he's not," Kate shook her head. "He's not breathing."

A few minutes later the paramedics came. Jack refused to come out of his room. Margo went to the hospital...Claire decided that she would go with her. Sawyer and Kate stayed back with Jack, even though he didn't let them in his room. They sat down on couch together, and waited for Margo and Claire to return...hoping that Christian would be ok.

"I'm going to go see if Jack will talk to me," Kate sighed.

"Do you want me to come with?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she answered. "I have to go alone...I don't know if he'll even talk to me...but maybe if I go alone he will."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll just stay here."

Kate walked up the stairs and toward Jack's door. She knocked hard, and waited for an answer. Their wasn't one at first, but finally the door opened.

"Leave me alone Kate," he mumbled.

"How did you know it was me?" she whispered, pushing her way into the room.

"Because I knew that mom left, and I knew you weren't going to be Sawyer," he answered. "I really don't want to talk Kate."

"We don't have to," she shook her head. "I'll just sit here with you if you want. I mean I don't think you should be alone right now."

"Gee, that sounds familiar," he half chuckled. "Can I ask you do do me a favor though?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Anything."

"Can you go get me a bottle of rum?" he asked.

"Jack," she started. "I don't think-"

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "I didn't get down on you for drinking! My dad just died! I think I deserve a little bit of something to make me feel better."

"First of all Jack," she began. "You did get down on me for drinking. When I wanted to drink when I found out about Sawyer having cancer, and you took my bottle from me...you told me that I had to be strong for him."

"Well I have no one to stay strong for," he mumbled, looking at his feet. Kate sat down next to him and shook her head. She placed her hand on his arm.

"What about your mom?" she asked. "Your mom is going to need you now. Plus...maybe Sawyer's right...maybe they revived him in the ambulance."

"Look, I know you're just trying to help, and I do appreciate that, but I would appreciate it more if you would just go get me the bottle of rum."

"No," Kate shook her head.

"Fine, then I'll get get it myself," he scoffed. He quickly stood up and jerked his arm out of Kate's grasp. He sighed deeply and Kate heard him pounding down the stairs.

"Get out of my way Sawyer!" he yelled.

"No," he stated. "What the hell are you doin'?"

"I'm having myself a drink," Jack answered. "Get out of my way or I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna what?" Sawyer asked. "Punch me? Are you gonna hit me for stopping you from killing yourself?"

"I'm serious Sawyer, you better move," Jack said.

"I'm not gonna," he shook his head. "I mean, I'm sorry about your dad, but drinking yourself into oblivion isn't going to change it, or make anything better."

As Kate walked down the stairs Sawyer was caught completely off gaurd by a punch to the jaw. Kate let out a small yelp, and Sawyer grabbed his jaw in his hand. Kate walked over to him and sighed.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he answered. "He hits like a girl...no offense."

"I don't hit like a girl," she shook her head. "So no offense taken. Lemme go get you some ice."

"Don't bother," he mumbled.

"Sawyer, I'm getting you some damn ice, and I'm gonna tell Jack if he touches my husband again, he'll have to deal with me."

Kate walked into the kitchen and slammed the freezer door open. She took a handfull of ice and put it in a washcloth. Then she looked at Jack. He was sitting at the table with the bottle of rum.

"Jack, I know you're hurting," she stated. "But if you touch Sawyer again...you might just be joining your dad."

"Don't threaten me Kate," he scoffed.

"I'm not," she sighed. "Just leave him alone ok? Sawyer didn't do anything wrong. You're pretty pathetic sitting here with your bottle of rum."

"Look who's talking Kate!" he yelled. "You got so drunk that you killed your baby! And then you still drank after that! So if anyone is pathetic it's you."

"Screw you!" she screamed. This time with out warning Kate was shoved aside and Sawyer lunged at Jack. He was now on top of him wailing on his face. Kate sat down next to the wall and breathed in deep. She was crying softly.

"Stop," she whispered. "Stop. Stop! Stop! STOP IT!"

Sawyer stood up and went over to where Kate was sitting. He pulled her up into a standing position and then hugged her.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't," she pushed him away. She reached over and handed Sawyer the washcloth of ice. "Jack...I know that you're pissed, but that is no reason to take it out on me! Look...I know that it's my fault that my baby died...I blame myself every day. But that is no reason for you to bring that up! I stopped drinking Jack. And when your mom comes home and sees that you drank her entire stash of alcohol...she's gonna be pissed. Jack, sit here and wallow in your self pity for all I care...but if you bring up my baby again...I won't stop Sawyer from killing you."

She walked away and up the stairs. Sawyer didn't look at Jack, but took the ice that Kate handed him and walked up the stairs after her. He went into their room and walked over to her. She was sitting on the bed. He put the makeshift icepack against his jaw, and winced slightly.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have-"

"If you hadn't, I would have," she stated looking at her feet. "You know...this really sucks. Tonight was perfect. It was just you and me. It was like our wedding night."

She looked at the ring on her finger and twisted it around.

"I love my ring, and I love you so much," she sobbed. "I just want to start over. I want this night to last forever...but just the good parts. I want everything to be a dream. I want to wake up and have it all be over."

"Then it is Kate," he said. "All this was just a horrible nightmare. Jack is not an ass, and Chris is alive."

Kate leaned toward him and kissed him, much harder than she intended to. He pulled back and yelled out in pain. She looked at him guiltily and looked down at her feet.

"Hey," he began. "I ain't mad at you."

"I jus-why would Jack say those things?" she asked. "Why would he bring up something that he knows would just upset me?"

"Because he's an ass," he said honestly. "He doesn't-I really don't think he meant any of those things. He's just drunk, and wants someone to feel as bad as he does. He feels like hell...I know that feelin'. His daddy is dead. You don't know what that's like."

"I killed my father!" she exclaimed. "How do I not know what that's like!"

"No," he shook his head. "You killed a man that you hated. The person you killed didn't even come close to what a father is supposed to be. Jack looked up to his daddy...it can really screw with your head Kate. Plus he had already drunk about half that bottle...I'm sure he's gonna-"

"Kate?" Jack's voice was on the other end of the door. He sounded like he had been crying. "Kate, will you open the door please?"

Kate stood up and opened the door. Jack fell into her arms. He was crying and mumbling numerous apologies. Kate sunk to the floor and cried right there with him. She rubbed her eyes and backed away from him.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked. "I feel like hell...if you never wanted to speak to me again I would understand."

"It's ok," she answered. "I mean, it hurt, but I'm ok. I'll be ok."

"I took it out on you," he mumbled. "But just so you know Kate...right now I just need something to numb...well whatever it is I'm feeling. Right now, drinking is the way I'm gonna do it. But I promise I won't say anything that horrible to you again."

"I'm ok," she nodded.

"I'm not," Sawyer scoffed. "You're unbelievable. Look I know what it's like...I do. And I'm sorry about your dad, but if you ever say anything like that again...you just better hope that you don't."

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered.

"Yeah," Sawyer mumbled. "You better be."

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "Just stop."

"I'm gonna get going," Jack said. "I am sorry Kate. Please just know that."

"I know Jack," she nodded.

Jack left the room, and Kate stood up and sighed deeply. Sawyer stood up too and looked at her. Without saying a word Kate stepped toward him and kissed his lips softly.

"I want our perfect night back," she sniffled. Sawyer walked with her over to the bed and handed her a box of tissues. She wiped her nose and eyes. Sawyer laid down and opened his arms. She laid down in his arms and kissed him again.

"Does your jaw still hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Not really," he mumbled. "But Kate-"

"I want our perfect night back," she repeated. "I just-Jack's sorry, and Christian's dead, and I don't even know if Margo and Claire will be back tonight. I just want our perfect night back."

"I know," he nodded. "But it can still be perfect." He held her closer and played with her hand in his. He looked at her ring and brought her hand to his lips. He kissed her hand. She sobbed softly and turned toward him.

"This is so screwed up," she said.

"Yeah," he whispered. "It is. I'm sorry that I can't make all this go away. I'm sorry that our night was ruined. I just want you to feel better."

"I don't think that will happen right now," she whispered.

"You want a drink don't you?" he asked. "You want to go and get completely sloshed with Jack."

"Like hell," she chuckled. "But I won't. I'm going to keep my promise. I'm going to stay right here in your arms."

"Oh I know ya are," he replied. "I ain't lettin' you go nowhere."

Sawyer and Kate stayed awake until they heard the front door open. They could hear Margo and Jack yelling at each other. They both knew that Margo found Jack drinking. They heard feet pounding up the stairs and a door slam. Soon after another door slammed. Then a third door shut quietly, but loudly enough for Kate and Sawyer to hear it.

"I guess Margo found Jack," Sawyer mumbled.

"Yeah, I guess she did," Kate said. There was a soft knock on the door. Kate stood up and opened the door.

"He's dead," Margo sniffled. "Christian is dead."

Kate stepped forward and hugged Margo. Margo stepped away and wiped her cheeks.

"It's done," Margo replied. "I'll let you two get back to whatever you were doing. The funeral is going to be on Saturday."

"If there is anything that I can do to help, please let me know," Kate said.

"I will," Margo nodded. "Thank you."

**A/N: OK, I know that Jack's an ass...he's not going to get worse with things he says, but he is going to keep drinking just so ya'll know. Anyway...please** **review.**


	29. Chapter 29

It was raining. Kate was leaning against Sawyer. He was holding the umbrella over both of them and holding her with the other arm. She was crying softly. Jack was sitting next to Margo. Claire was sitting on the other side of Margo holding her hand. Even though Claire and Margo weren't all that close, Margo decided to take Claire in. She was glad to have Claire there to mourn with her. Jack wasn't much help lately. The tears were falling from Margo's eyes. Jack didn't really look all that upset, which was surprising to both Kate and Sawyer. They all watched the casket being lowered into the ground. Jack stood up and walked away from the scene. Kate sighed softly and went to follow him. Sawyer sat down next to Margo, taking Jack's chair. 

"You gonna be alright Marge?" Sawyer asked. She looked up at him and forced a small smile. She nodded slowly, barely making a movement at all. Sawyer gave her an apologetic smile and put a hand on her shoulder.

Kate walked quickly after Jack. She finally caught up to him when he stopped and sat under a tree. She sat down next to him, not caring that the water from the rain was soaking through her black skirt. She shivered slightly, but didn't say anything.

"Want some?" Jack asked, handing her a small flask.

"You brought a flask to your dad's burial?" she asked. "Jack, give it to me."

"No," he shook his head. "It's just the burial anyway. The service is tomorrow and I promise I won't be all drunk in front of all my relatives."

"I don't believe you," she said. "Jack, I know this sucks and it hurts, but you're only hurting yourself by drinking."

"I thought we already went through this Kate," he sighed. "You told to leave me alone about it. I can drink whenever I want, wherever I want."

"Well Jack, not exactly," she replied. "It is against the law...you know that little thing called a drinking age. It's still 21."

"Do you really think I care what the drinking age is?" he asked. "Everyone drinks. And I'm not talking about you...I'm talking about all our friends...and if I'm not mistaken your husband drinks too."

"Yeah," she stated. "But they all drink responsibly. I mean not really...but only at parties and stuff...not in the middle of the afternoon at their fathers burial. What would he say?"

"Probably, 'Good job son, now why don't you hand the bottle over to your old man'. He would be just as drunk as I am, and you know it."

"Yeah, well I don't think your dad would want you to end up like him. Nevermind Jack, we'll come get you when we leave."

_**1 and a half weeks later**_

Kate was walking into her and Sawyer's room. Sawyer was looking at the phone in his hand like it was a foreign object. He set it down and looked at Kate.

"What was that?" Kate asked. "Are you ok?"

"I gotta go to Italy," he said unemotionally.

"What?" she questioned walking toward him and sitting on the bed.

"I have to go to-" he started again.

"No I heard you," she chuckled. "Why do you have to go to Italy? What's in Ita-Cassidy. You're going to go be with Cassidy. You're leaving me for Cassidy?"

"No," he said quickly. "I promise. It-well it does have something to do with her, but I'm not leaving you for her. She-she's sick. She needs-she's gonna die Freckles."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"So I have to be with her. She has to at least know that...at-she's gonna die," he stuttered. "My daughter-"

"Wait Clementine is going to die?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Or at least-I dunno."

"Well of course you have to go then," Kate responded. "You have to go as soon as possible. Like tonight if it's possible."

"I know," he answered. Kate kissed him and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry," she said again.

"Well, I'll be back by prom," he told her.

"Prom?" she asked. "Prom is a month away...why wouldn't you be?"

"Cass asked me to stay with her for a few weeks...you know? She doesn't want to be alone. Her daughter...our daughter is going to die...she just needs someone to be there with her."

"Yeah," Kate replied. It didn't exactly make her happy. She was actually a little upset that he would go to Italy without her and spend three weeks with his ex-girlfriend...they hadn't even had their honeymoon yet. Kate kissed Sawyer again, and this time she didn't pull away.

"Kate, I gotta-" he began.

"Go," she finished for him. "I know. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he stated. He kissed her once more and then went from the room. She figured that he was probably going downstairs to call the airline and let Margo know that he was leaving. Kate laid back in the bed and sighed deeply. She was laying there for around 30 minutes when finally the door reopened. Sawyer looked at Kate and walked toward her.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he told her. "Thank you for being so cool about this."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm trying to be."

"I'm coming home in 2 weeks," he said. "Plenty of time for prom."

"Ok," she said quietly. She breathed a deep breath, and Sawyer walked over to her. He got into the bed with her and kissed her forehead.

The next morning when Kate woke up, and Sawyer was already gone. She thought that he was going to wake her up and say goodbye, but he didn't. She went down stairs and saw an envelope with her name on it.

She chuckled almost silently and picked it up.

_Dearest Freckles, I'm sorry I didn't wake you up but you looked too damn cute and peaceful so I didn't want to ruin that. I love you so much and I'll see you in a couple weeks. I'll call you tonight when I get in.  
Love Sawyer_

Kate laughed at herself, and then felt dumb for being mad that he didn't wake her up. She walked back up the stairs. Claire was coming out of her room. She looked exhausted.

"Hey," Kate said. "You ok?"

"Well I lost my mom, and then 2 weeks later my dad who I didn't even know died...how do you think I am?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I'm really sorry. I'll leave you alone."

"No," Claire shook her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You were only trying to help."

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "But I get it. You're just-you're mourning. You need to have some time right?"

"Yeah...thanks Kate," Claire replied.

"No problem," Kate said. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Same here," Claire stated. "I heard Sawyer left...he went to Italy? That's so weird."

"He went because his daughter is sick," she sighed. "I know that I should be supporting him, and loving him anyway, but I just-I wish he would have invited me to come with him. I want to be there for him."

"Well, if you ever want to talk about it, let me know...just right now I kinda wanna be alone. Is that ok?"

"Of course," Kate nodded. "I'm gonna go check on Jack."

Kate walked over to Jack's door and knocked softly. She could hear him mumble something on the other end, and knew that he told her that the door was open. She opened the door and walked in. She closed the door behind her and stared down at Jack who was sitting on the floor, with the bottle of rum in his hand."

Kate sighed and sat down next to him. They sat there in silence for a little bit, and just stared at each other.

"Sawyer left this morning," she whispered. "He went to Italy. I just-I already miss him. And I know that it sounds totally lame, but I miss him."

Jack silently offered her the bottle of rum. She let out a small chuckle and shook her head.

"Nope," she sighed. "Been sober for almost a month...I'm not about to ruin it now."

"Just thought I'd ask," he mumbled. "I'm sorry that Sawyer left you."

"He didn't leave me," she scoffed. "He went to Italy because his daughter is dying."

"How do you know?" he asked. "I mean, that's what he's telling you...but maybe he's going there just to be with the mother of his daughter. I'm not trying to be a jerk here Kate-"

"Really?" she questioned. "Because you're doing a great job of it. I mean...I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but I mean come on! You're absolutely-you know what I'm not going to do this with you right now. All I know is that Sawyer loves me, and he wouldn't lie to me."

Kate stood up and left the room. She spent the day lounging around the house, and trying her best to avoid Jack. Then she realized how boring it was without Sawyer. Sawyer had been gone exactly 14 hours...she knew that it was about a 13 hour flight to Italy. The phone rang and Kate pounced on it.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed.

"Kate?" Margo asked.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "Hi. What's up?"

"Nothing," Margo answered. "I was just calling to check in on you and Jackie. Is he alright."

"I don't really know," Kate mumbled. "We kind of got into a small-well not all that small...but we got into an arguement."

"Oh ok," she replied. "How about Claire? Has she come out of her room or eaten anything today?"

"I dunno," she said. "I know that I'm not much help...Claire wanted to be alone. She came out of her room to go to the bathroom at least."

"Ok, well I'll be home in a few minutes," Margo stated. "Is it alright that I'm just bringing home take out and not cooking?"

"Yeah," Kate answered. "I don't think you should be cooking anyway. Other people should be cooking for you. In fact tomorrow I'll make dinner."

"That's sweet Kate, but I really need to keep busy. I'm making Jack's favorite tomorrow night."

Kate waited by the phone until midnight. She wasn't sure of the time difference, but she knew that Sawyer would know, and he wouldn't call this late. He had forgotten to call. Well maybe that was unfair. Maybe he didn't forget, but he was just too preoccupied with his ex-girlfriend. No, that wasn't fair either. He was with his daughter. The daughter he claimed not to want anything to do with.

A day and a half more had gone by and there was still no phone call from Sawyer. Kate was beginning to now get pissed. She wanted to be supportive of Sawyer...she really really did, but why the hell wasn't he calling her? She was sitting up in her bed, looking at a dopey picture of her and Sawyer. The phone rang and Kate didn't bother jumping to answer it. Every time it rung in the past day and a half she's jumped to get it, but she decided that maybe if she didn't get herself excited about it, it would be him. Sure enough moments later Margo was calling up to Kate.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Katie?" her dad's voice said.

"Daddy?" she questioned.

"Yeah, it's me," he replied.

"Why?" she asked. "I mean what are you calling-I thought we couldn't have contact. I'm so glad-"

"Kate," he began. "Are you busy right now?"

"What do you mean, am I busy?" she chuckled. "Aren't you overseas? I mean even if I wasn't busy it doesn't mean that we can see each other."

"Katie, I'm sitting in the driveway," before he was able to finish his sentence Kate had hung up the phone and was running out the front door. She ran towards her dad's car and he got out to greet her. She jumped into his arms and hugged him.

"Let's go for a drive ok?" he asked.

"Ok," she whispered.

They had been driving for a few minutes. She noticed her dad kept looking at her hand. She knew that he probably saw her ring and was wondering what it was all about. Sure enough he asked.

"What's the ring for?" he asked. "You didn't go get yourself knocked up and married?"

"Well actually yes," she said quietly. "Only there is no baby."

"Oh Katie, I'm sorry," he replied. "Jeez. I-"

"It's ok dad," she answered. "I'm just glad to see you here right now. My husband is in Italy. I was half hoping that you were him when you called just now."

"Well sorry do disappoint you Katie Bear," he chuckled.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm really glad you're here. But I'm just a little confused. You said a year...it's only been like 6 months."

"I know," he whispered. "I have some news for you, ok? They called my base to get a hold of me because they didn't know how to get a hold of you."

"Why do they need to get a hold of me? And who's they?" she asked. Sam continued to drive and then stopped. Kate looked around and they were in the hospital parking lot. He looked at her apologetically and sighed.

"Katie, your-your mom is in the hospital," he stated. "They said that they give her about a week."

"What?!" she asked. "A week! How?! Wayne's dead! Who did this to her?"

"No one did it sweetie," he answered. "She's just sick. They gave her a week, but that was almost a week ago. I just thought that maybe you'd want to say something to her."

"No!" she exclaimed. "I don't!"

"Katie," he began. "I know this is horrible for you. You've gone through a lot in the past few months. But if you don't at least say goodbye you're going to regret it. Just-go in there and see how you feel. I'll be there the entire time if you want."

Kate and Sam walked down the familiar hospital hallways. Kate told Sam about how they were here only a month ago for everything that Sawyer went through. When they arrived at Diane's room Kate hesitated before going inside. She told Sam that he could wait outside. She sobbed softly as she said goodbye to Diane. She could barely even recognize her. Diane hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. While Kate was in the room the monitors started going beserk. Kate was pushed from the room and only 10 minutes later they came out to tell her that there was nothing they could do. Sam drove Kate back to the house and hugged her goodbye. He would have to go back to war the next day...he was only allowed 3 days leave for the death of his daughters mother. Kate walked up the stairs and went into her room. When the phone rang Kate felt like picking it up and then hanging it back up. She let someone else answer it. Her door opened slowly and Jack stepped in the room.

"Kate, I don't know what happened tonight with your dad, but your husband is on the phone."

Kate smiled weakly and picked up the phone next to the bedside table.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey Freckles," he replied. "How are you?"

"I'm ok," she whispered. She felt like sobbing and crying and telling Sawyer what had happened earlier but she knew that it would be unfair to him. He had enough to worry about.

"Well I was just calling," he started, trying to sound normal. "Kate, there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" she asked.

"Ok, so...look...I don't know...Clem's sick," he said unsure of what he was saying. "She's-Cass is a mess. I just-it meant nothing."

"What?" she asked. "Did you sleep with her?!"

"No," he answered quickly. "No I promise...but-we kissed. I just-we were both hurting and I was missing you so much, and we were both exhausted from spending the entire day at the hospital...and it just happened."

"What kind of kiss?" she questioned.

"Well," he began. "A long one."

"You made out?" she inquired.

"A little," he replied. "But it meant nothing and I feel like an ass, and I just-please know that I love you so much and I won't ever do it again. And I got an earlier flight."

"Why would you get an earlier flight?" she asked. "I mean-you should be-you know what I don't care. I forgive you. I'll see you in a couple weeks."

"7 days actually," he reminded her.

"Ok," she whispered. "7 days...You got your flight changed to that early? What about Clementine? Why are you coming home so soon?"

"To get home to you sooner Kate," he stated. "It's gonna be ok. Clem...she's starting to get through this actually."

"So she's not dying?" Kate asked. "I thought you said you had to go as soon as you could because she was dying."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But now she's not. Look Kate, I gotta go. This is long long distance, and Cassidy is calling me."

Before Kate could argue or even say anything more the phone went dead. She sighed loudly and put the phone down. She came out of her room and practically ran to Jack's. She looked down at him and grabbed the bottle of rum from him. She began to drink straight out of the bottle and sputtered loudly as the liquid burned her throat.

"I thoght you were sober for almost a month," Jack chuckled.

"Well," she breathed, still trying to make the burning sensation go away. "I changed my mind. My husband is in some foreign country kissing old girlfriends, and my mother just died. Alcohol is the next best thing."

Jack nodded and took the bottle back. They stayed in Jack's room for another hour and a half, drinking. Kate was laying on the ground chuckling. Jack laid down next to her and looked at her.

"You're pretty," he whispered. "I don't know how I ever could be so blind."

"You're not so bad yourself," she smiled.

He scooted nearer to her and took one of her hands. Their foreheads were touching and they were looking at each other...knowing it was just the two of them. Sawyer was thousands of miles away...no one would ever know. Their lips were almost touching-

**A/N: Cliffy! Haha. Sorry. Had to do it. I hope ya'll enjoyed my chapter. I'm gonna keep going as long as I can keep thinking of ideas, so maybe it'll be my longest fic yet. Maybe I'll go till the new season starts? I dunno...we'll see. Please review!**


	30. Chapter 30

Their lips were so close to touching. Jack kissed her softly. He half expected her to back away, but she didn't. She only inched closer to him and kissed him back. He rolled on top of her and kissed her harder. As they kissed Kate got a small voice in her head...it was Sawyer. He was sorry for kissing Cassidy, but now she was doing the same thing. She pushed Jack up and got out from underneath him. 

"Wait," she whispered. "I can't do this."

"Come on," he replied. "He's gone. He's not here Kate."

"I know," she nodded. "But-I just feel guilty. I can't do this to him. I'm sorry."

Jack leaned forward and kissed her again. She kissed him back and then stood up and left his room. She paced in the hallway and then went into her room. She flopped on the bed and breathed in deep. She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't love Jack in that way, but it did feel good to be close to someone. She missed Sawyer.

It was the next night. Kate and Jack had seen each other in the house throughout that day and things were a little bit tense. The phone rang and Kate picked it up...thinking that it was probably Margo or Claire.

"Hello," Kate said.

"Kate?" Sawyer asked.

"Hey," she answered, sounding a little more upbeat.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine," she replied. "What makes you think that I'm not ok?"

"You answered the phone sort of sadly," he replied.

"I'm fine," she stated. "I just miss you."

"Are you mad at me?" he questioned.

"Well, to tell you the truth I'm not all that happy," she scoffed. "I mean you kissed Cassidy right? You weren't just saying that to piss me off right?"

"No," he answered. "But as soon as I did, I knew it was a mistake. I feel bad about it. Do you at least believe me about that?"

"Yeah," she whispered, feeling like crying. She was sorry for kissing Jack. She didn't want to tell Sawyer about it yet which made her feel even worse. She decided that she had to tell him, even though she really didn't want to.

"Sawyer," she began. "I made a mistake. I-Last night I was really upset. I just-my mom died and I needed someone-"

"Wait a minute your mom died?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me last night?"

"Well, I hate to be a bitch, but you didn't really give me a chance to. Cassidy needed you...your words."

"Freckles," he began. "I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. I should have been here. I should have talked to you. What can I do-"

"I got drunk," she interrupted. "I needed something Sawyer. So I went and drank with Jack. We kissed."

"You kissed him!" he exclaimed. "How could you do that to me?!"

"You kissed Cassidy!" she yelled. "You're not here! I just needed someone! I needed some kind of comfort. I stopped it before anything else happened, but I just-I was missing you, and my mom died, and Jack was there. Jack helped me. I'm sorry. I am-I feel really bad about it."

"I gotta go," he mumbled.

"No!" she screamed. "I'm not going to let you just hang up on me! We're gonna talk."

"Fine," he said. "You're there and I'm here. We're not going to-"

"I love you," she stated quietly. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"Me too," he whispered. "I love you. I'll be home in 6 days."

"So you never explained about Clementine," she said. "How is she not dying? I thought Cassidy-"

"Cass was exaggerating," he replied. "She was sick...like really really sick...Cassidy just needed someone."

"So she lied?" Kate asked.

"Well, kind of," he answered. "She was just completely crazy ok? Can you imagine if your daughter was in the hospital?"

"Well my mom was," she responded. "Jack was there for me thank god, but I really needed you...but I don't have a way to get a hold of you."

"Kate, I'm sorry," he said. "I wish that I could have been there with you. I wish-but it doesn't really matter what I wish now...I can't go back in time and just not come to Italy."

"Well since your daughter seems to be doing so much better why can't you just come home now?" she asked.

"I know," he replied. "It's the stupid airline."

"Ok," she whispered. "I guess I'll let you go. It's long distance."

"I love you Kate," he said.

"Yeah. I love you too. I do. Bye."

Kate hung up the phone. Now she felt even more guilty than before. She was glad that she had told Sawyer about kissing Jack, but she still felt horrible. She stood up and went into Jack's room to apologize for last night.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey," he mumbled. "Look, I'm sorry about last night."

"Me too," she stated, sitting down next to him.

"Well, I might as well tell you that I'm not sorry for kissing you," he replied. "I wanted to kiss you, so I did. I'm just sorry that you regret it."

"Jack," she sighed. "You know it's not like that. I mean...I do regret it, but only because I didn't want to hurt Sawyer. I'm sorry that-can I have that?"

She stopped mid sentence and took the bottle of vodka from him. He looked at her somewhat apologetically.

"Kate," he started. "Maybe you shouldn't-"

"Maybe you shouldn't tell me what to do," she snapped. "Ok...that was a little harsh, but seriously. Yes I was sober for a while, but right now I just need to-I need this to make me feel better."

"How about just me?" he asked. "I mean, can't I just help you? We can hang out and maybe you can miss Sawyer less."

"Well I couldn't help _you_," she answered. She took another drink from the bottle and looked over at Jack with a smile.

They sat there drinking for a while longer. Kate stood up to leave. Jack jumped up and stopped her from opening the door.

"Jac-" she started.

"Shh," he said. "Shh. Just don't say anything."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He kissed her cheek softly, and then moved to her lips. She wrapped her arms around him. He walked with her over to his bed and laid down with her.

"Stop," she whispered. "I can't. I just talked to Sawyer on the phone. I have to go."

The next day Kate was at home alone. Jack and Claire were at school, but Kate stayed home. She told Margo that it was because she wasn't feeling good, but really she just really needed to be at home. She heard the front door open, and didn't know who it could be. She stood up and walked toward the door. Sawyer was putting his suitcase down and starting to take his coat off.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. She ran toward him and jumped into his arms.

"Hey," he whispered. "I was gonna surprise you."

"You said 6 more days," she half sobbed.

"I was just trying to surprise you," he said. "And I'm never going to see Cassidy again."

"Sawyer," she started. "I don't want to talk about exes or dead mothers or anything. I just want to look at you."

He gave her a smirk that made her smile and the fall into him. She kissed his lips softly and slowly. They made their way back into the living room and continuing to kiss.

"I'm sorry about you mom," he whispered.

"I told you I don't want to talk," she said.

"Ok," he answered, giving her another kiss. They spent the day in each others arms. Neither of them heard the front door opening. They also didn't realize that it was 3:00 in the afternoon. Jack walked into the living room, and then walked right back out and up the stairs. Kate frowned, but laughed at the same time.

"Maybe I should go talk to him," she said quietly.

"Oh, no you don't," he replied. "You're staying right here. And you're going to tell me about your 3 days that we were apart."

"I'm an idiot," she whispered. "Jack-we kissed again last night. Before you say anything I was just-I was upset, and I drank again."

"You told me you were gonna stop drinking," he reminded her. "You have to stop Kate."

"Is that what you're upset about?" she asked.

"Well am I happy that you kissed Jack?" he questioned back. "Hell no I'm not, but I guess I understand. I mean I did kiss my ex-girlfriend too. And...we kind of did more than kiss."

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked.

"It doesn't mean sex if that's what you're worried about. It just means that we kissed," he told her. "We started doing more but I stopped."

"Do you promise me that all of that is over?" she asked.

"I promise that I'm yours forever Freckles," he replied. "I'm never going back to Italy, and I'm never going to see Cassidy again."

"I love you," she chuckled. She snuggled into him and began to kiss him again.

"Don't you think we should go upstairs?" he asked. "Since Doc Jr is home I'm sure everyone else could come home soon."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Can we spend the entire day in our room?"

"Of course we can," he responded. "Forever and ever."

They had been up in their room for 4 more hours. It was almost dinner time, Sawyer was holding Kate tightly.

"You really kissed him?" he asked.

"I know," she half chuckled, half sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I'm just-I'm an idiot...but now that you're back, I'm not gonna ever do it again. I just-I hate that I upset you."

"I don't-" he began. "I'm just more upset that you got drunk two nights in a row. Kate, you can't start drinking again...you can't get back in to that."

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I do-I was sad. I needed to feel better and alcohol seems to do that. I really am sorry."

"I know you are Freckles," he whispered. "Now it's my turn to apologize to you. Your mom-I know that she meant a lot to you. I know that even though she treated you horribly sometimes, you loved her."

"Yeah, I did," she nodded.

"And to think," he shook his head. "While you were here mourning over your mother...I was with Cassidy."

"Do you mean _with_?" she asked. "Or just with."

"I already told you that we didn't have sex," he stated. "You have to believe that. Please believe that."

"Ok," she replied. "Yeah, I believe you."

"Good," he whispered. "We-we were kissing...some clothes started to come off, and all I kept thinking about was you. I felt like the worst husband ever."

"Me too," she smiled. "When I kissed Jack...two nights ago we kissed, all I could hear was you. It was just this little voice saying 'I love you'. And it was you. Then yesterday when I kissed him again, I felt like I was the worst person."

"You're not a bad person Kate," he stated. "You were hurting and confused right? You just missed me."

"Pretty confident about yourself ain't ya Mr. Ford?" she said quietly.

"Of course I'm confident," he replied. "With me around no woman could resist...that's why Cassidy-"

"Keep going," she smirked. "Cassidy kissed you...but you kissed her back right? I don't really have a right to be mad at you because of it. I did the same thing."

"But Jack kissed you first right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Both times...but I was really vunerable and upset."

They could both hear Margo yelling for them to come down for dinner. Kate began to get up and was promptly pulled back into his arms.

"We have to get out of here some time," she whispered.

"You said we were gonna spend the day in here," he argued.

"Well I hate to break it to you but it's night time now," she smiled. "We have to go eat something at least. Keep ourselves hydrated."

"Ok," he grumbled. "Let's go eat."

"Sawyer, before we go," she began. "My dad and I have to plan my mom's funeral...can you help me with it?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Of course I will."

That night during dinner things were almost like they used to be. They were all talking about their days. Sawyer talked about Italy. Claire wasn't home for dinner, but half way through she came through the door.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

"Wow you have a beautiful smile, it's great to see it," Kate smiled back.

"I want you guys to meet someone," she stated, with a small chuckle. "This is Desmond."

"Hi," Kate nodded. Margo stood up and made a place for Claire and her new friend. They all looked at him carefully.

"So is this like-" Sawyer began with a smirk.

"He's not my boyfriend if that's what you're talking about Sawyer," she glared. "In fact he has a girlfriend already. We've just been getting to know each other. A new friend. We're both new to the town, so he's just my new friend."

"Keep tellin' yourself that Claire," Sawyer smiled.

"No, she's telling the truth," Desmond nodded. "I miss my Penny. She's back in Scotland."

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked. "I mean in America."

"My dad got a new job, and we had to move...but as soon as school gets out I'm going back to be with her."

"We are just friends."

Sawyer was playing footsie with Kate underneath the table. Kate looked at him and smiled, trying not to let out a laugh.

**A/N: PLEASE R & R!!**


	31. Chapter 31

It was a beautiful day. The sun was so bright that Kate was shielding her eyes even though she was also wearing sunglasses. Sawyer was on one side of her and her dad was on the other side. Sam took her by the hand when he could feel her shaking. Jack, Claire and Margo each were standing behind Kate. After Diane's funeral Kate was walking around the cemetary. Jack and Margo went to Christian's grave. It had only been a week and a half since they had been in the exact same place, doing pretty much the exact same thing. Kate had gotten a small bottle of rum from Jack. She was sitting by the same tree that Jack had been sitting by at his dad's funeral. She was drinking her bottle and looked up at Sawyer. 

"Here," he whispered. "Give it to me Kate."

She handed him the bottle and he dumped the rest of it in the grass. He sat down next to her and put both arms around her. She turned toward him and sobbed. She wasn't taking a breath. Sawyer rubbed her back and waited for her to breathe. Finally she did take a deep breath and continued to cry.

"Why can't just one good thing happen?" she asked. "I mean it's just one thing after the other."

"Well we got married," he told her. "That's a good thing right?"

"Yeah," she nodded and wiped her cheeks. "And you're not sick anymore, and you're back from Italy for good...but still. I just want everything to be over. I just want to be happy and good for once."

"Well now we can concentrate on our life," he replied.

"And the prom."

**5 Weeks Later**

It was prom night. Kate hadn't had anything to drink since her mom's funeral. She was pretty sure that she was pregnant. She was in the bathroom taking the pregnancy test. Sawyer was standing in the room, fumbling with his bow tie. He didn't want to wear it...he felt like an idiot in a money suit. It was just so un like him to be wearing a tuxedo. He was laying in a hospital bed wearing practically nothing when he got married, but Kate insited that he should wear a tuxedo because of that. He stopped trying with the tie, and instead looked at head in the mirror. His hair had started to grow back, but it was still very short. He hated that too. She walked into the room and chuckled at him.

"Come here," she stated. He turned around and walked toward her. Kate started trying to help him with his tie.

"You look pretty," he whispered. Kate was wearing a light green dress that made her eyes look even greener. She was wearing some make-up, but not a lot. Claire had helped her with it.

"You look like James Bond," she smiled. She finished tying the tie and it looked like a 4 year old did it. She sighed at herself.

"Jack might know," she said. "Or Margo."

Margo ended up helping Sawyer with his tie. Margo made them all take a bunch of pictures. Jack ended up getting Juliet as his date. Claire's date was Desmond, but they were only going as friends. Finally they were allowed to leave the house. They didn't have a limo, so Jack was driving, but he wasn't going in the direction that the dance was taking place.

"Where are you going?" Kate asked.

"We're not going to the dance," he told her. "We are going to get some bottles of alcohol and not worry about the dance."

"Jack-o turn the hell around," Sawyer stated. "Kate wants to go to the dance, and I'm taking her to the damn dance...even if it is a lame tradition."

Kate smiled at him and let out a small chuckle. Jack didn't turn the car around. He continued to drive in the opposite direction. He stopped the car in front of a liquor store. Kate jumped out of the car and ran after him.

"Jack, stop it," she whispered.

"Come on Kate, you know that the dance is just going to be stupid. It's much more fun to grab a couple bottles of alcohol and just hang out."

"Yeah, that's a great idea," she scoffed. "You go ahead Jack...go get drunk, and then why don't you drive home and get into a car crash."

Jack kept walking into the liquor store, leaving Kate on the side walk outside. She walked back to the car and got back in. She sat down next to Sawyer and wiped her cheeks.

"He is not going to ruin this," Sawyer said angerly. He got out of the car and got into the front seat. When Jack came back he saw Sawyer sitting in the driver's seat.

"Get out!" he exclaimed. "Get the hell out of the front seat."

"No," Sawyer answered. "If you want to get drunk and ruin your own night, or even Juliet's night that's completely fine. I don't care. But you are _not_ going to ruin the night for Kate, Mamacita, and her date...whatever the hell his name is."

"Thanks brotha," Desmond began. "I think I've told you a few times that my name is Desmond."

"Yeah, whatever," he replied. "Get in the damn car Jack."

Jack sighed and got into the car. Sawyer drove them to the dance and walked with Kate inside. He left Jack and Juliet at the car. Jack told them that he would be in as soon as he was done drinking some.

Throughout the dance Sawyer and Kate spent the night trying to avoid Jack. Sawyer was bored and he thought it was pretty stupid. Kate felt the same, but she was glad that she was there with Sawyer. They went outside and sat down on the steps outside of the dance.

"Y'know Freckles, I think that if you drank a little bit tonight, it would be ok," he told her. "I mean I'm here. I'll take care of you and make sure that you don't drink too much."

"No," she shook her head. "I don't need it. All I need is you with me, so I don't need to get drunk to be with you."

"Well that's good to know," he chuckled. "But seriously if-"

"Do you want to drink?" she asked. "Because you're allowed to. I don't care."

"Are you just saying that, but then you're really gonna be pissed at me?" he asked. "Because I don't want to-"

"It's fine," she nodded. "You can drink tonight. But can you at least wait till we get to the party."

Sawyer was driving to the after prom party. It was taking place at Shannon and Boone's house. On the way there Jack wasn't talking. He was drunk and angry. Juliet had asked Sawyer to take her home, which only made matters with Jack worse. When they got to the party Claire saw Charlie first. He was on his knees outside of Shannon's house. Claire got out of the car and walked over to him.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he answered. "I don't need anything."

He walked away from her, leaving her somewhat shocked. Since she had been living in California, she thought that Charlie kind of liked her. She sort of liked him too, but was too embarrassed to say anything. Desmond walked with her into the house.

"Jack, we're here," Kate told him. "Are you gonna come in?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Of course."

Sawyer and Kate walked in ahead of Jack. When they were at the party pretty much everyone was drinking except for Kate. She was drinking a bottle of water. Everyone kept asking her if it was rum in a water bottle, but it wasn't. She had a lot of fun anyway. Everyone had fun. As Kate and Sawyer were leaving they couldn't find Jack. They looked in all the rooms and finally found him passed out in Shannon's step-mom's room.

"Jack," Kate whispered.

"Kate?" he asked. "Come here."

She sighed softly, but bent down toward him. He put his hand on her cheek and kissed her. She backed away from him.

"Come on," she continued. "Let's go home."

"Are we gonna go home?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Come on, get up."

"I'm just gonna stay here ok?" he questioned. "Ok Kate? Ok?"

"Jack," she began. "Let's go. Sawyer's gonna help you get down the stairs. Let's go."

"No," he shook his head. "I'm too tired. Can I just stay here Kate? Please?"

"Ok," she whispered. "I'll let Shannon know. She'll take care of you. I guess I'll see you in the morning."

Kate drove the car home, the 3 blocks. Sawyer wasn't drunk, but he was buzzed. She walked with Sawyer back into the house. Claire went upstairs. Desmond had gone home. Kate and Sawyer went upstairs and into their room. Sawyer started taking his tie off and put it down. Kate turned around and looked at Sawyer.

"Can you unzip me?" she asked.

"Of course," he smirked. He unziped her and began kissing her neck. He turned her around and began to kiss her lips. She smiled and backed away from him.

"Lemme go get changed," she said.

"What's the point?" he asked.

"Well I don't want to just throw my dress on the floor."

"Fine," he mumbled.

"You're so pathetic," Kate chuckled. "It'll take me 3 minutes and then I'm yours for the rest of the night."

Kate left the room and came back quickly. She was wearing one of Sawyer's shirts and nothing else. He chuckled at her and she walked toward him. She got into the bed next to him and began to kiss him. She started to unbotton his shirt. They both began removing each other's clothing.

She was laying in Sawyer's arms, and she couldn't stop kissing him. He kissed her back, and then backed away.

"What's up?" he asked. "You look like you have something to tell me."

"Sawyer," she began. "I-I'm pregnant."

"What?" he questioned. "You are?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

"And you're happy right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Of course I am. I'm so excited."

"Good," he replied.

"Are you excited?" she asked.

"Well since you are, I am," he smiled. "You-We're having a baby."

**A/N: This was kind of a short chapter, sorry...but I hope you still liked it. Please review!**


	32. Chapter 32

Sawyer looked at Kate and brushed his hand over her face. She smiled and snuggled into him further. 

"So do you think we should go on a honeymoon?" he asked. "I mean while we still have this room to ourselves."

"I think we should move into our own house," she responded. "Well my mom's old house. My-I don't know what I'm trying to say...I feel like I can't talk. I was talking to my dad and he said that my mom's house was empty. It's just sitting there. There's no house payment or anything, but...I think we should move into that house."

"That would be pretty amazing," he agreed. "We could have an entire house to ourselves and not have to worry about anyone walking in on us."

"Actually," she began and looked at him somewhat guiltily. "I sort of was thinking that we should ask Claire if she wanted to move in too. I mean she doesn't fit in here...and she could still see her brother and stuff, but I really think she doesn't like living here with them. I think she feels really uncomfortable."

"Alright," he mumbled. "She can come too...but she better not bother us."

"Sawyer," Kate shoved him playfully. "She's gonna need help with her baby. That's another reason I want to ask her to come stay with us. I mean now we're gonna be pregnant together."

"Yeah, but ain't she like 4 months along already?" he asked.

"Yeah, so?" Kate asked.

"When her baby comes, you're gonna be too pregnant to do anything," he told her.

"Shut up," she scoffed. "I'll be 6 months pregnant then, and I'll be fine. It'll give us a chance to get used to having a baby in the house...and who knows, maybe by then Claire and Desmond will be living together."

"I thought they were just 'friends'," Sawyer chuckled.

"Well, that really doesn't mean anything," she laughed back. "I mean I know that she likes him...but he's still supposed to go back to Scotland."

"I can't believe you're having a baby," he whispered. He bent down and kissed her again. "Who did you tell?"

"Just you," she responded. "But I'm pretty sure that everyone else is gonna find out because I did kind of a stupid thing."

"What?" he asked.

"I left the pregnancy test in the trash can."

"When did you find out?" he questioned. "So this is like a for real thing? You don't just think that your pregnant...you actually know."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I suspected about a week ago, so I took a pregnancy test tonight...before the dance."

"So you've known all this time and you were able to keep quiet about it?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I know...it's crazy. I just-I didn't want to say something in front of everyone."

"Are you gonna tell them?" he asked.

"Well yeah, eventually I think they're gonna start to notice."

"I mean soon," he replied. "Are you gonna tell them soon?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I probably should...especially since one or all of them might see the pregnancy test in the trash can...but for right now I just want to lay here in your arms and go to sleep. I'm tired."

"Well then you should go to sleep," he responded. He kissed her on the nose and she closed her eyes.

The next morning Kate woke up and was trapped by Sawyer. His legs were around her, holding her where she was, and his arms were draped over her as well. She could hear someone knocking on the door. Last night they were smart enough to lock it, but whoever was on the other end was not giving up.

"Kate, open the door I have 2 pretty damn important questions!" Margo yelled. Kate hated to wake Sawyer up, and she even hated the idea of getting out from underneath him. Even though he was practically crushing her, it was a great feeling. He murmured and grumbled as Kate got out from underneath him as carefully as possible. He rolled over waking up only slightly, and freed Kate the rest of the way. She quickly got out of the bed and opened the door.

"What's up Margo?" Kate asked.

"First of all where the hell is my son?" she asked. "And second of all, what is this?"

Margo held up the pregnancy test. She crossed her arms and waited for Kate to answer. She sighed slowly and shook her head.

"Jack is at Shannon's," she answered. "He just wouldn't come home with us last night so we told him that he could stay there."

"Ok, what about this?" Margo asked. Kate felt her cheeks getting hot and was about to tell Margo the truth when Claire appeared and grabbed the test from Margo.

"It's mine," she whispered. "I-I'm pregnant. I found out last night."

"And how far along are you?" Margo questioned.

"About 4 months," she replied. "I knew, but I had to know for sure. Don't worry it didn't happen here...it happened back in Austrialia and the father wants nothing to do with me so I-I'm sorry...I'll leave."

"Claire," Margo sighed. "You don't have to leave. I just wish you would have told me instead of me finding this in the garbage."

Margo walked back downstairs and Kate looked at Claire thankfully. Kate walked with Claire back to Claire's room and shut the door behind them.

"Thanks," she whispered. "You really didn't have to do that."

"I kinda did," Claire shrugged. "It's pretty much because of you that I'm even here. You've been such a great friend Kate."

"Well, anyway thank you," she answered. "I am gonna tell her, but I just-I just found out last night...I kinda wanted to tell Sawyer first."

"Congratulations?" Claire said, somewhat unsure if it was a good thing or not.

"Even though I know this will probably be the hardest thing I will ever have to do...I really think I needed this. With all these horrible things that have been happening in my life lately...I just think this baby might be the first good thing in my life since Sawyer...and Sawyer was a while ago...or at least he came in to my life a while ago."

"What are you gonna do?" she asked. "Are you gonna stay here then? With the baby?"

"Actually," Kate began. "I thought maybe. Ok this might sound totally insane, so stop me if it does, but-whoo...ok I'll start from the beginning. My mom died, you obviously know that. Well she left a house...actually the house next door. It has 3 bedrooms and so Sawyer and I were gonna move there. We wanted to just...start our life I guess. I know it sounds crazy, but we are married. We've been married now for almost 2 months and we're still living 'at home'. We should have our own place. And it's all paid off and everything-"

"Kate that sounds great," Claire interrupted, not realizing that Kate wasn't finished. "And maybe if you move out my baby can have your room."

"That's the other thing," she started again. "Both me and Sawyer know that it can't be easy living here with your dad's wife and your half brother...I mean it's all kind of weird right?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "Kind of. But-I'm not moving in with you guys...you should be alone. I'd just be in the way."

"No," Kate shook her head. "You wouldn't be in the way Claire. And then you could also have help with the baby. And it would get me and Sawyer used to having a baby in the house...please think about it ok?"

"Alright," she sighed. "I'll think about it...but I still think you should be alone for your first year of marriage."

"Well we're not gonna be alone because we're gonna have a baby with us. I mean...there are rooms and walls in the house...we can separate ourselves off. You can have your own space and me and Sawyer will have our space."

"Are the rooms far apart?" Claire asked.

"There's one room on one side of the house and two rooms on the other," Kate answered.

"So which one of our kids will have their own room?" Claire chuckled.

"I don't care," Kate laughed back. "We've got a few months to figure all that out."

"Well I think I'm gonna be a little bit of a control freak," Claire replied. "I'll probably want my baby to sleep in the same room as me."

"What if Desmond comes to spend the night?" Kate asked.

"Oh come on!" Claire exclaimed. "We're just friends...that's it."

"You went to prom together," Kate argued.

"So," she answered. "Lots of people go to prom just with a friend. Besides, Des has a girlfriend and I have someone that I like."

"Oh?" Kate asked. "Who?"

"It's stupid," Claire shook her head. "I don't think he even knows I exsist."

"Well any guy who doesn't know you exsist is pretty dumb," Kate replied. "I mean come on...you're gorgeous."

"Yeah, well pretty soon my stomach will be so huge that it won't matter...no one will want me," she stated.

"That's ridiculous...you tell me who it is you like...and I'll let you know if he likes you," she insisted.

"Charlie Pace," she mumbled, putting her hands to her face in embarrassment.

"Oh...he knows you exsist," Kate said. "Believe me. He KNOWS you exsist."

"Then why did he act like I wasn't there last night?" she asked. "I mean when we were getting out of the car...it looked like he was getting sick or something and I asked him if he was alright and he just walked away from me."

"Ok, well first of all last night everyone at that party was either drunk or high...he was probably just confused," Kate began. "Plus you got out of the car with Desmond following you. He probably saw Desmond and got a little embarrassed, because he likes you. Believe me...in Math class...it was like 2 weeks ago, I saw him staring at you. He tried to hide it, but I caught him. He turned bright red. He likes you."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I just do," she smiled. "Anyway I'll talk to you later. Let me know about moving in with me and Sawyer."

Kate went back to her own bedroom and looked at Sawyer. She smiled at him and took him by the hand.

"We're telling Margo right now," she told him. "I don't want to keep secrets any more. IT's stupid. So let's go."

They walked down the stairs, hand in hand. Kate breathed in deep and walked into the kitchen where Margo was sitting.

"Margo," Kate began. Margo looked up and sighed. Kate sat down, Sawyer followed her. They were still holding hands. "The pregnancy test wasn't Claire's...it was mine."

"I'm not an idiot Kate," Margo scoffed. "I can tell that Claire is pregnant already...I mean she said she was 4 months along...so I can just tell."

"No," Kate whispered. "I mean...Claire's pregnant too, but that pregnancy test you found was mine. I'm pregnant. I talked to my dad and we're going to...me and Sawyer are going to leave...we're moving into my mom's old house."

"What?" Jack asked, appearing in the doorway. He ran up the stairs and slammed his door. Kate closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I know this is kind of short notice and kind of weird," Kate started again. "But since we're married we kind of want to live in our own house now."

"I thought you were asking Claire-" Sawyer began.

"Well, I invited Claire to live with us too," she answered. "But we don't know for sure if she's gonna actually live with us or not...I just thought we could help her with the baby."

"Don't you think that I can help her?" Margo asked.

"Of course you could," Kate replied quickly. "But we just thought maybe she feels a little weird living here."

"Well how do you think I feel?" Margo responded. "I mean come on...my husband's daughter living with us? If the word dysfunctional family had a picture next to it in the dictionary...it would be a picture of us."

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "I know. So wouldn't it be better if she came to live with us? I mean...I'm not trying to upset you. And I'm just trying to make things better...easier."

"I have to go talk to my son," Margo mumbled. Margo left the room and Kate put her head down on the table. Sawyer put his head down next to hers.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," she stated. "Am I a horrible person?"

"No," he told her confidently. "You are not a bad person Kate. Margo will get over it and so will Jack."

"I'm gonna go talk to him," she said. "I just have to explain why we're leaving."

"I think he gets it," he replied.

"Then why did he run out of here and slam his door like he didn't get it?" she asked. "I'm going."

She walked up the stairs and found Margo standing outside of Jack's door.

"Come one Jack," Margo stated, sounding frustrated. "Just open the door."

"No!" he yelled on the other end.

"How old are you?" she asked him. "You are a senior in high school Jack. You need to stop acting like a 6 year old."

"No!" he yelled again.

"Let me try," Kate said quietly. "Jack, it's Kate. Can I please come in and talk to you?"

"Why?" he asked. "What's the point?"

"Because I really need to talk to you ok?" she questioned. "Sawyer and I just got into a fight and I really just need my best friend."

He opened the door and let her in before shutting the door again in his mom's face. She sat down on his floor and looked up at him.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I didn't get into a fight with Sawyer, but I got you to let me in right?"

"You're pathetic," he chuckled.

"Jack, what's wrong?" she questioned. "You really didn't expect me and Sawyer to stay here the rest of our lives did you. I mean we're married. We need to be alone."

"Yeah I know," he replied. "I'm being kind of stupid. I'm just a little jealous. When I heard you say that you're pregnant and moving out. It just made me...I was just kind of jealous. I know we're never going to be together...but you and Sawyer being married, and having a baby...it just-"

"I really wish I could have told you in a better way," she stated. "I was going to tell you. I was going to let you know everything."

"So you and Sawyer are moving in next door?" he asked.

"Yep," she nodded "And you can come hang out anytime."

"Ok," he replied. "I'm gonna hold you to that...it could be 1 in the morning."

"Well as long as you call first so we can get some clothes on," she chuckled.

"I'm really glad that we can be friends again," he said.

"Me too," she whispered. She leaned forward and hugged him. He hugged her back and for the first time in a while they actually felt like friends, no tension involved.

That night Kate was laying next to Sawyer. His hands were around her and resting on her stomach. There was a knock on the door, and the door was unlocked.

"Come in," Kate said. Claire walked in and knelt down next to Kate. She took a deep breath.

"Yes," she stated. "I guess I'll move in with you guys...but I'm not staying there forever. Just until I get a job, and can get on my own two feet."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Deal."

"Alright, I'll leave you guys alone now...have a good night," she smiled. She left the room and shut the door behind her. Kate turned toward Sawyer and looked at him.

"Are you ok with that?" she asked.

"I don't care," he replied. "As long as we get our own room I don't care. I just want you."

"You're so sappy," she chuckled. "But I agree. All I need is you too. So where will the baby sleep? We have three bedrooms."

"Well a room for mamacita, a room for us and a room for the baby," he stated.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But what about Claire's baby. They can't both sleep in the same room."

"Why not?" he asked. "They're babies...it can be the baby room. Who cares?"

"Ok, well what if Claire's baby wakes up and starts crying, and then because of that our baby wakes up and starts crying...then we'll have to get up just because of Claire's baby."

"I won't care," he responded.

"Ok, fine," she stated. "You don't care, so that means you get to get up when the baby is crying."

"No, that'll be your job," he told her.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Oh, take a chill pill," he scoffed. "I'm just making a joke. It's not a big deal...we'll figure something out ok?...maybe we can make another room or something...do a renovation."

"With what money?" she questioned.

"Ok Kate, work with me here," he sighed. "We have 5 more months to worry about when Claire has her baby...and then another 8 till you have the baby...we'll be able to figure something out ok?"

"Ok," she whispered. "Sounds good. Let's not worry about it tonight."

That weekend Sawyer, Kate and Claire were moving. None of them had a lot of stuff so it didn't take very long. Kate was sitting outside on the front steps with Jack.

"We've been through a lot this year Kate," he whispered. "I mean I'm just so happy that we're finally friends again."

"We're best friends Jack," she told him. "You're my best friend."

"What about Sawyer?" he asked. "I thought that Sawyer was your best friend."

"Sawyer is my husband," she began. "He means so much to me. And he's probably the most amazing guy I've ever met...but you're always going to be my best friend. We're gonna be friends forever."

"Forever," he nodded. "And hey...if you ever need to sneak into my house late at night, like the old days...just come on over."

"Thanks," Kate smiled. "I love you Jack."

"I love you too," he replied. He kissed her on the cheek and got up. He went back over to his own house. Kate stood up and went inside. Sawyer was sitting on the couch waiting for her to return. She walked toward him and leapt on to his lap and kissed him.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too," he chuckled. He put his hands on her face and kissed her again. She slid off his lap and was sitting next to him.

Later on that night Kate and Sawyer went back over to the Shephard's to eat dinner. Kate called Charlie and invited him over too. Claire was completely embarrassed, but she thought it was a nice gesture.

They were all eating in silence. Kate kept trying to break the silence by talking to Charlie, but he wasn't really talking much. Half way through dinner Charlie excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom. Kate got up and followed him. She was standing outside of the bathroom and smelled smoke. She sighed softly and knocked on the door.

"Just a minute," he said.

"No Charlie, open the door," she stated. "I can smell your cigarettes...so just open the door."

Charlie opened the door. She crossed her arms and looked at him seriously.

"If you wanted to go out for a smoke all you had to do was say so. Claire thinks that you can't stand her."

"Oh," he sighed. "I feel like an idiot. I just had to-I'm nervous. You know? I'm just so...she's so pretty...why would she want anything to do with me?"

"Because she likes you," Kate answered. "If you guys like each other, you should go on a date or do something?"

Kate and Charlie walked back to the kitchen table and sat back down. Charlie stood back up and looked at Claire.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked.

"What?" Claire asked.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked. "Y'know...go somewhere. Go to get some ice cream or something? Ice cream with peanut butter chunks?"

"I love peanut butter!" she exclaimed. "You like peanut butter ice cream?"

"Love it," Charlie smiled. Claire smiled back and stood up. She and Charlie left the house. Kate smiled widely and looked at Sawyer.

"Good job girl," he stated. "I didn't think that they would ever leave."

"Shut up," she shook her head. "You know that's not what I wanted. I think they'll be really cute together."

"What about that other guy?" Sawyer asked. "David or whatever."

"Desmond!" Kate exclaimed. "And he's leaving in 2 weeks to go back to Scotland. He's got a girlfriend already."

After dinner Kate thanked Margo for making dinner and said goodbye to Jack and Margo. Sawyer and Kate walked back to their house. They went to the living room and sat down on the couch together. Sawyer picked up his book and began to read to Kate aloud. She leaned against him and listened to his voice. They were finally feeling like a newlywed couple...and they knew that no one was going to interrupt them.

20 minutes later Claire walked through the door and slammed the door behind her. She ran to her own room and slammed that door too. Kate looked up at Sawyer sadly.

"Well that was fun while it lasted," he said.

**A/N: I got the idea of Sawyer, Kate, and Claire all moving into Kate's old house from Bonboni, so thank you for that! I'll probably update tomorrow, but then this weekend I'm super busy so I probably won't update again till Sunday or Monday...but I'll try my best to update tomorrow. Anyway I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	33. Chapter 33

"Well that was fun while it lasted," Sawyer said looking at Kate. Kate sighed and stood up. "Where are you going?" 

"To see if she's ok," Kate answered. "I mean she seemed pretty upset, I just want to see what happened."

"I don't really think that's our business," Sawyer stated. "I mean, it's not like she's our daughter."

"Yeah, she's our friend," she replied. "You don't have to come...in fact don't come, I don't think you're sensitive enough. I'm just gonna ask her what happened and if there's anythign I can do."

Kate walked toward Claire's room and knocked softly on the door. She opened the door and poked her head in.

"Claire are you alright?" Kate asked. "I mean-what happened?"

"Men suck, do you know that?" Claire sighed. "I'm just-it's my own fault...I'm just mad at myself. I really thought he was a good guy."

"What did he do?" she questioned. "I thought you guys just went to get ice cream."

"Well he saw a couple of his friends," Claire began. "I guess his brother and some other people. And they left. Well Charlie said they'd be right back...but they never came back. I had to walk back here."

"Claire that's like 3 miles," Kate told her.

"Yeah, I know," Claire stated. "I hate men...why would he do that? I mean, I thought we were having a good time too. I just don't get why he would leave, and never come back."

"I don't know," Kate shook her head.

"Hey Freckles!" Sawyer yelled. "Come here!"

"I'm kinda busy," Kate answered. "What?"

"Just...come here," he repeated.

"I'm sorry," Kate turned toward Claire. "I'll be right back ok...I promise that I will be."

Claire let out a soft chuckle and nodded at Kate. Kate walked out of the room and went over to Sawyer. She looked at him slightly annoyed and then he pointed at the front doorway. Charlie was sitting in the hall on the floor. He looked upset. Kate walked over to him and squatted down.

"Charlie," she began. He looked up at her and she knew that he was on some kind of drug. "What's wrong with you?"

"I came back and she wasn't there," he answered. "I just wanted to make sure she was ok."

"Well no she's not," she replied. "I mean she is, but she's upset. Why did you leave her there? I mean that's just-what have you been doing tonight?"

"Nothing," he replied. "What makes you think..."

"Charlie, your eyes are all bloodshot...what have you been taking?" she asked.

"Nothing," he stated firmly. "I'm fine. I just want to see Claire."

"No," Kate shook her head. "Stay away from her. She doesn't-"

"Claire!" he exclaimed. "Claire please!"

"Stop," Kate whispered. "Claire has been through enough tonight. She doesn't need to see you all messed up. Come back tomorrow when you're feeling better."

Claire stood in the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You bellowed?" she asked.

"Please," he started. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna stop for you...please."

"Stop what?" she questioned. He crawled past Kate and got on his knees in front of Claire. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag of heroine. He handed it to Claire and wrapped his arms around her middle.

"Please," he sobbed. "Forgive me."

Claire looked at him stunned. She had no idea what to say or do. She handed him the heroine back and turned around.

"Goodbye Charlie," she whispered. She walked down the hall toward her bedroom and went inside. Kate sighed and looked at Charlie.

"Stay away from her," Kate said. "I-I'm sorry...but you need to just give her some space. I'm sorry."

Charlie stood up and left the house. Kate let out a deep breath and looked up at Sawyer. Sawyer walked over tO Kate and looked down at her. He gave her a weak smile and put his hands out for her to take. She smiled back and took his hands. He pulled her up and walked with her back to the couch. Sawyer picked the book back up and put his arm around Kate.

"Now where were we?" he asked. "We can get back to reading."

"I don't really feel like reading anymore," she told him. She turned toward him and kissed him softly. He stood back up and picked her up.

"Sawyer!" she chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to the bedroom," he whispered. He took her into their room and put her on the bed.

"It's our first night in our own house," Kate said quietly. She let Sawyer get into the bed next to her.

"Remember when I snuck in here late at night to say goodnight to you?" he asked. She did remember that night, but what she remembered about it wasn't all that good. She remembered that Wayne had been there too. But having Sawyer be there for her made things ok.

"I thought you were completely crazy," she chuckled and shook her head. "I'm so glad that you got kicked out of your grandparents house."

"Me too," he nodded.

"Jack told me that I could sneak over to his house any night...like the old days. I would be pissed at my mom, or scared of Wayne...something...and I'd sneak over to his house at like midnight. And I would spend the night there. We were just friends...nothing ever happened, but sometimes I wanted it to."

"Really?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno," she chuckled. "I had kind of a crush on him in 9th grade. We hung out constantly...but all he wanted was friendship...or so he said. I'm just so mad that he finally told me that he liked me after I already was over him and had moved on."

"Do you ever think about what would have happened if I had never come?" he asked.

"Sometimes," she nodded. "I mean-I just wonder if me and Jack would have ever been together. Not that I want to be...I'm glad things happened the way they did. I just felt kind of stupid being almost 18 and never been kissed."

"Just look at you now," he chuckled. "You're not even 19 and you're pregnant."

"Are you excited?" she asked.

"Am I excited for being woken up every night at like 3:00 in the morning, and then again 4:00, and then 6:00?" he asked.

"That's not all it will be," she replied "We're gonna be momma and dada...that's gonna be fun."

"Yeah, and then we're gonna have to change dirty diapers," he mumbled.

"Shut up," she chuckled. "It's gonna be hard work, but at the end of the day our baby will be loved."

"Well yeah," he responded. "But it's not gonna be for another 8 months...in the mean time I get to deal with your mood swings."

"You're so funny," she stated.

"I know," he replied with a smile.

It had been 3 weeks. Claire and Charlie didn't see each other at all. Desmond had gone back to Scotland. Claire spent her time alone in her room. Kate and Sawyer tried to make her come out and go places, but she refuse. Kate was standing in the kitchen making dinner. Sawyer was out job searching. They were going to graduate from high school in a week. Everyone was going crazy with finals. Claire felt fat...even though she was pregnant, and didn't look fat...just pregnant. Sawyer came up behind Kate and put his arms around her. She gasped loudly and turned toward him

"Don't do that!" she exclaimed. "Do you have to sneak up on me?"

"Yeah," he answered. "It's fun. What's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti," she replied. "It's the only thing that I'm an expert at making...everything else is bad. I'm a bad cook. Sorry."

"I don't think you are," he laughed. "Although that chicken casserole thing was kind of a disaster."

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "How about you make dinner tomorrow? It's hard."

"Fine," he nodded. "Tomorrow I'll make dinner, and you can look for a job."

"I'm not gonna be able to get a job right now," she answered. "No one is gonna want to hire a pregnant chick, who's just gonna have to quit when the baby's born."

"Well then you stick to the housewife stuff, and I'll stick to the-"

"If you finish that sentence you're sleeping on the couch tonight," she told him. "I am not the typical housewife."

"No, you're right," he replied . "You're hot. Now when's dinner gonna be ready woman?"

She shoved against him playfully. He looked over at the salad that Kate had made. He picked it up and looked at her evilly.

"Don't you dare," she said. He reached into the bowl and picked up a piece of lettuce. She shook her head and tunred back to the stove.

"When's dinner?" he asked, whining.

"It's gonna be ready in 10 minutes. Now stop whining and set the table."

Kate and Sawyer were eating dinner. Claire refused to come out of her room for dinner...it made both Kate and Sawyer feel like they were the parents of a stuborn kid.

"Well at least this is good practice," Sawyer stated. "Well probably have the same problem with our kid."

"We better not," she chuckled. "But Claire...she has to eat at some point. I mean she needs food. I'm worried about her."

"She'll eat when she gets hungry," he told her. "I don't think we can really worry about her. She's a big girl. We can't make her eat...we're not her parents."

"I think tomorrow we should go to the Shephard's for dinner," Kate said. "Besides, Jack invited me. So can we go?"

"No," he shook his head. "We can't...of course we can. You know I don't care what I eat for dinner as long as it's edible...Margo is a pretty good cook. Hey, maybe she can teach you how to cook."

"Shut up," she stated. "You just leave me alone."

"But it's so fun to tease you," he responded. "Your so cute when you get annoyed."

That night, Claire came out of her room and made herself food. She was sitting at the table crying. Kate and Sawyer could hear her crying. They were sitting in the living room watching TV. Kate started to get up, and Sawyer stopped her.

"I'll go talk to her," Sawyer said.

"You're gonna talk to her?" Kate asked. "Be nice."

"I will be," he said defensively.

Sawyer walked into the kitchen and sat down across the table from Claire. She looked up and sighed softly.

"I feel like an idiot," she stated. "Desmond's gone...he was one of my only friends. And Charlie...I mean we weren't even friends yet I don't think, but I just miss...I want to have a friend."

"Well me and Kate are your friends," he reminded her. "I mean we're practically family since we live together."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I just-I'm emotional."

"Is it a pregnant thing?" he asked.

"I guess," she forced a smile. "So what are you and Kate doing?"

"We're just watching TV. Hanging out. Do you wanna come join us?"

"Sure," she nodded. "Thanks...hey Sawyer...how well do you know Charlie?"

"The only person I ever really gave any attention to try to get to know is Kate," he told her. "So in other words I don't really know him."

"Well I just wondered if he had quit-if he's still doing heroine," she replied.

"Oh, I don't really know," he answered. "But maybe Kate knows."

They walked back into the living room and sat down. Kate moved over on the couch to make room for Sawyer. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her.

"We graduate soon," she whispered.

"1 more week," Claire replied.

1 Week Later

Kate and Sawyer were sitting together at the graduation. After the graduation everyone went back to the Shephard's house to celebrate. Margo called Jack into the other room to talk to him privately.

"Jack," she began. "I met someone at work. His name is Tom...I invited him to come to dinner tonight. I hope that's ok."

"So you're just going to forget about dad?" he asked. "It's only been 2 months mom!"

"I know," she nodded. "I don't know what this is yet Jack. I don't know how I feel. But we're friends and he makes me feel really good."

"Well I guess I really can't stop you from dating anyone mom, but does he have to come to my graduation?"

"Please Jack, don't make a big deal."

"Margo!" there was a voice coming through the house that Jack didn't recognize.

"Tom, come on in!" she exclaimed. She walked toward the door and greeted the stranger. She walked with him into the kitchen and introduced everyone. Kate knew that Jack was going to freak out. She just hoped that it wasn't going to ruin everything tonight. Margo stood up and told the group she had something to take care of. She left with Tom for about 30 minutes. No one wanted to say anything to Jack, so they spent the time in silence. Finally when they returned Margo went into the kitchen and made an announcement.

"I have a surprise for Kate and Claire," she stated. "Call it a graduation present."

They all followed Margo back to Kate and Sawyer's house. They went into Claire's room. There was a crib, and other baby furniture sitting in the corner of the room. Claire smiled widely.

"Margo this is too expensive," she said. "I can't accept this."

"Yes you can," Margo responded. "I have the money to do it, so you might as well just take it. Kate...I set up a nursery for you in the spare room. Go look."

Kate smiled widely and she and Sawyer walked into the spare room. Kate looked around the room. It was painted blue, all the furniture and accessories were cute...there was no pink in the room which made Kate and Sawyer both happy.

"What if they have a girl?" Tom asked.

"Well, then their girl will have a blue room," Jack answered with a scoff. "Kate hates pink. She wouldn't ever dress her baby girl in pink."

"I wouldn't say never," Kate answered. "But yeah...I hate pink."

Kate went into the room and sat down in the rocking chair. She rocked back and forth and smiled widely. Then she stood up quickly and forced Sawyer to sit down.

"Damn, this chair is comfy," Sawyer stated. "I'll be using this way more without the baby than with."

Kate smirked and sat down on his lap. He rocked back and forth. Tom continued to watch them. It was kind of creeping Kate out, but she kept her mouth shut. Kate stood back up and walked out of the room and past Tom.

"So how do you like Tom?" Kate asked, sitting down next to Jack.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "He doesn't really seem trustworthy."

"How do you know?" she questioned. "You don't even know the guy."

"Yeah, but he's trying to get in our family already. I mean he just started dating my mom...I don't even know if they are dating. Ugh. It's just so annoying."

"Well, don't you want your mom to be happy?" she asked.

"Yes," he mumbled. "But I just wish that she had told me before this...I wish that I had known."

"He is kind of creepy," Kate reassured him.

**A/N: Please review! Like I said before my weekend is kind of busy but I'll probably update on Sunday. I hope you guys still like my story.**


	34. Chapter 34

**1 Month Later**

Sawyer heard something in the house. Kate was fast asleep, and considering she had been having trouble sleeping lately Sawyer didn't want her to wake up. He got out of bed quickly and went to investigate. He went into the front hall and saw Jack sneaking into the house.

"What are you doin'?" Sawyer whispered.

"I can't stay in that house," Jack sighed. "My mom-she asked Tom to move in! I can't believe her! She's just forgetting about my dad."

"Ok, shut up," Sawyer continued to whisper. "I'm not tryin' to be an ass, but the girls are sleepin' and if you wake up Kate..."

"Sorry," Jack mumbled. "I'm just-can I sleep on the couch?"

"Yeah whatever," Sawyer shrugged.

"So how has Kate been doing?" Jack asked.

"You know how Kate's been doing," he answered. "You see each other every day."

"Oh, well she wasn't feeling good earlier today...I just wondered if she was doing better," Jack told him.

"Oh, she didn't say anything to me about it," Sawyer replied. "I feel bad enough that we're not spending the days together...at night I just want to forget all the crappy stuff during the day."

"So she never said anything to you about feeling sick?" Jack asked.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Claire on the other hand...apparently the baby isn't very happy with her...those were her words, not mine."

"She'll be ok."

"You excited to start school next month?" Sawyer asked. "You're gonna follow your daddy's footsteps right...be a doctor?"

"Yeah, I guess," he responded.

"You don't sound very enthusiastic," Sawyer replied. "If you don't want to be a doctor then why are you? I mean shouldn't you do something that you want...not what your dad wanted?"

"Well I do want it...but now I'm not sure if I want it because that's what my parents want, or because I really do want it," he answered. "I'm thinking about going into cardiology."

"Maybe you could be a brain doctor," he chuckled. "In honor of me."

"Y'know this is way off topic, but I just thought of it...has Claire been asking about Charlie at all?" he asked.

"She did a while ago," Sawyer shrugged. "But right now I think she's more worried about the baby. She's still trying to figure out if she wants to keep it or not."

"Wait, why wouldn't she?" Jack asked.

"Well she keeps saying how her baby won't have a father, and she wants to give her baby all these opportunities...she thinks it might be easier if she just gave the baby up for adoption," Sawyer said.

"Have you and Kate offered to help?" he questioned.

"No Jack, we're only having her live here with us so she's all alone," he responded sarcastically. "Of course we've offered to help. That's all Kate can talk about. She wants Claire to have a girl and us to have a boy so our kids can grow up and fall in love. Why do you want to know about Charlie anyway?"

"Oh, I saw him the other day," Jack responded. "He was standing on the street corner playing guitar and begging for money. At first I thought maybe he was trying to get money for more drugs, but then I looked at him, and he looked normal. I think he's just trying to get his life on track. Anyway he asked me about Claire. It's kind of weird that he's still thinking about her isn't it? I mean they were never even friends really...they just had crushes right?"

"I guess. I dunno. That's definitely not my area of expertise," he answered. "Maybe we can try to get them to see each other again. I think Claire needed time, but it's been over a month now."

"I don't know," Jack shook his head. "I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble with the women of the house."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Anyway I guess I'll let you go back to bed. Are you sure it's ok that I sleep here tonight?"

"I don't care," he shrugged. "Kate on the other hand would insist on it...so if she finds out tomorrow that I didn't make you stay, she'll take it out on me."

"Oh," Jack nodded. "So I guess I better stay."

"Goodnight Doc," Sawyer replied. "It's kind of weird that you actually will be a doctor soon."

"Not for at least 8 more years Sawyer," Jack laughed. "Goodnight."

Sawyer went back into his room and Kate had woken up. She rolled over when she heard the door close behind Sawyer.

"Where did you go?" she asked.

"Oh," he sighed. "Jack-o decided that he was gonna do a little crime...break and enter into our house. He's sleepin' on the couch."

"Why?" she questioned, somewhat concerned. He laid down next to her and shook his head.

"Nothin' for you to worry about," he told her. "I guess Marge had that Tom guy move into the house...Jack didn't want to be there tonight."

"Hmm, does Margo even know the guy's last name?" Kate asked.

"Hell if I know," Sawyer answered. "I don't really care. All I know is the guy rubs me the wrong way...and I almost feel like I know him."

"How would you have known him?" she questioned.

"I don't know Freckles," he shook his head. "He just seems really familiar. And not in a very good way."

The next morning Kate, Sawyer and Claire all woke up to very plesant aromas coming from the kitchen. They met in the hallway heading toward the kitchen. Claire smiled and looked at both of them.

"Jack?" Kate asked.

"I hope his bacon is better than yours," Sawyer mumbled.

"Hey...I only burned it that one time. Shut up and lets go eat," she scoffed. She walked ahead of him and went into the kitchen.

"Get back in bed!" Jack exclaimed. "I was gonna bring the women breakfast in bed."

"What about me?" Sawyer asked.

"You have two legs," Jack answered. Sawyer stared at him somewhat offended. "Jeez I'm just kidding, have a seat. I figure it's the least I could do for giving me a place to stay."

"This isn't permanent is it?" Sawyer questioned.

"Oh...no...I guess not," Jack stated.

"Jack, don't be silly...you can sleep on our couch whenever you want. Sawyer's just being a grumpy goose this morning."

"Grumpy goose?" Jack asked. "You two were never this gross when you lived at my house."

"That's because we didn't want to make things worse," Kate replied.

"Besides, I think that baby is making her a little crazy," Sawyer interjected. "I can't wait till you're back to your old self."

"Me neither...I'd like to be skinny again."

"Shut up Kate," Claire sneered. She wasn't mad, but she looked at her own stomach compared to Kate's.

"Yeah but you're farther along than me," Kate argued. "I'm sure in 4 more months I'll be that big...probably bigger."

"I can't wait for 3 more months," Claire complained. "I just want my baby to come now."

"Speaking of babies," Kate began again. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow...Jack do you think you can take me? Sawyer has to work."

"Sawyer you got a job?" Jack asked.

"About a month ago," he mumbled. "It's not all that exciting. I'm a waiter."

"Hey, it's better than nothing and you make great tips," Kate stated. "I'm glad that I have a hot husband."

There was a knock on the door. Kate stood up first and went to the door. Margo was standing in front of her.

"Jack's here," she said before Margo could ask. "He was just...well I don't really know because I wasn't awake, but he came here last night. You asked Tom to move in with you?"

"Yep," Margo smiled. "Kate, he's just so-I don't know he's amazing. He's just so charming and-"

"Do you even know his last name?" Kate asked.

"As a matter of fact I do...Finn," she replied quietly.

"Tom Finn?" Kate questioned. "Like Huckleberry Finn? Tom and Huck?"

"So it's a coincedence," Margo shrugged. "Maybe his parents were just trying to be funny."

"Haha," Kate said unemotionally. "I'm sorry Margo. I mean I do want you to be happy...but I think you should be careful too."

"I will," Margo said. "I'm quickly falling in love with him."

Sawyer who heard the conversation got a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't be 100 percent certain, but the more he thought about it...Tom Finn, was most likely Sawyer...the Sawyer who ruined little 8 year old James' life. He stood up from the table and walked into the hall.

"You stayin' for breakfast Marge?" he asked.

"That's what Tom calls me," she beamed.

"I called you that first," Sawyer mumbled.

"Yeah, I'll stay," she replied. "Lemme just go get Tom...he'll probably want some food too."

Once Margo and Tom returned the breakfast table was much more tense and not friendly and laid back anymore.

"So Tom," Sawyer began. "What do you do for a living?"

"Whatever I can get," he responded. "What did you say your name was son?"

"James," Sawyer murmured. "And I ain't your son."

"Oh," Tom said. "Sorry. I call everyone son. Didn't mean to offend."

"Sorry...but I ain't nobody's son. My parents are dead," he told him. "They're dead because of a man who conned them out of 35,000 dollars."

"I'm sorry," Tom stated. "Marge here never told me that."

"Well it ain't really your business..."

Kate noticed that Sawyer's accent was getting thicker as he spoke. He always spoke with a thicker accent when he was angry. She put her hand on top of his to try and calm him down.

"So Tom...do you think I can have a word with you?" Sawyer asked.

"Sure," Tom shrugged.

"In private?" Sawyer responded.

"Fine," Tom stood up and Sawyer followed him. They went outside, and Sawyer sat down on the porch.

"You're him ain't ya?" Sawyer asked. "You knew my momma?"

"What was her name?" Tom questioned.

"Mary Ford," Sawyer practically whispered.

"Hmm...I remember her," he nodded. "She needed what your daddy couldn't give her."

"Shut up!" Sawyer screamed. "Don't you talk-"

"He wasn't your daddy anyway," Tom continued. "I bet your momma never told you how lonely she was. Ever since she married your daddy. I was there from the beginning."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Sawyer asked, his hands were shaking so bad from anger and nervousness that he felt like strangling him before he could even answer the question.

"I am your dad," he told him. "You have a half brother...the only two kids I ever fathered."

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "My daddy was Robert Ford. You are not my father."

"Look at my eyes," he responded. "As blue as yours. And here...I've got proof." He pulled a letter out of his pocket and handed it to Sawyer.

Dear Tom, I know that I broke things off...I love my husband and I don't want to hurt him. But you have a son. I thought you'd want to know. If you ever want to see me or your son, you know how to get a hold of me.  
Love Mary.

Sawyer stared at the letter and then looked back up at Tom. He then handed Sawyer a picture of him as a baby. Sawyer crumbled the photo in his hand and looked at the real Sawyer. The reason that his parents were dead...but also the reason why he was alive. He ran back into the house and went into the bathroom. Kate looked around the group and looked concerned. She walked over to the bathroom and opened the door.

"Leave me alone Kate," he sighed.

"What happened?" she asked kneeling down next to him. Sawyer tried to hide his tears from Kate, but it was too late. "James, tell me."

He didn't speak, but just stared at her, looking completely defeated. Kate sighed softly and pulled him into a hug. She held him like he was a child, and he cried softly. So softly that Kate wasn't sure he even was crying, but then saw the evidence on his face.

"He's my father," he whispered. "Now I know what Luke Skywalker felt like. That asshole out there is my father. I guess a more closer analogy would be you...now I know how you feel...to hate your father. To hate the reason you're alive."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kate asked. "I thought your father killed himself and your mother?"

"Me too," he mumbled. "But it turns out that Sawyer is my father."

"Wait, Tom is the real Sawyer?" she asked.

"Yep," he nodded. "That's why I had to talk to him. He's gonna con Margo out of all her money. Jack won't be able to go to college...everything is going to be ruined unless we can stop him."

"Then we'll stop him," Kate whispered. "Come on."

She stood up and helped Sawyer stand too. She wiped his cheeks off gently and kissed him.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Yeah," he breathed in and looked at himself in the mirror. "I'm gonna wait a few minutes...I don't want anyone...especially that jackass knowing that I've been crying."

"Ok," she nodded.

Kate left the bathroom and bumped into Tom on her way out. She looked at him strangely. She was trying not to let him know anything, but her facial expressions were telling him everything.

"My boy crying in there like a little girl?" he asked.

"James will never be your boy," she told him. "A father is someone who is loving and not scary. You'll never be his father."

Kate balled her hands into fists as the real Sawyer began to laugh at her. If there was one thing she hated most in this world, it was being laughed at. She swung her fist and hit him in the jaw. He grabbed her by the hand and shoved her against the wall.

"Don't you touch me girl," he said. He was pulled off Kate by a steaming Sawyer. Sawyer began to pummel his fists in to Tom's face. He wouldn't stop. Margo, and the rest of them heard what was going on and came into the hallway.

"Sawyer no!" Margo screamed. "What are you doing! Get off of him!"

"Tell her," Sawyer said angerly, holding Tom by the throat.

"I can't breathe," Tom choked.

"He can't breathe!" Margo exclaimed. "Sawyer let him go!"

"No," Sawyer answered. "Not untill he tells you, right now who he really is...and what he was going to do."

Sawyer tightened his grip on Tom's neck. Tom nodded.

"Ok!" he managed to choke out. Sawyer let his grip loosen somewhat. There were tears re-forming in Sawyer's eyes again. "I was going to take your money."

"What?" Margo asked. He didn't repeat it.

"She didn't hear you," Sawyer informed him.

"I'm a con man," he said a little louder. "I was conning you out of your husband's money."

Sawyer still didn't want to let go of his throat. He had been waiting 10 years to kill this man, and was now on the brink of happening. He looked up at Kate, who looked scared and upset.

"Did he hurt you?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she said quietly and shook her head. "I'm ok James. Come on...please...you don't want to do this. Gimme your hand. Please."

Sawyer hesitated and then reached over and took Kate by the hand. She pulled him over to her. They all looked down at Tom who was coughing and sputtering. He got up and left the house before anyone could say anything else.

"I knew he was creepy," Jack stated.

**2 months later**

Over the past 2 months Claire and Charlie had started becoming friends again. Charlie wasn't taking drugs any more, and he was trying to help Claire get ready for the baby. She had decided that she was going to keep the baby. She found out that she was having a boy. Kate didn't want to know what she was going to have, but she wanted a girl. Sawyer didn't really care one way or the other, but secretly he wanted to have a boy.

Charlie and Claire walked into the house. They were both laughing about something. Claire gasped loudly and started laughing again.

"Charlie, come here," she said. She took him by the hand and put it on her stomach. He looked at her wide eyed.

"Whoa," he said. "Is that him kicking?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

"Not at all, it just feels really weird," she answered. "It's so weird to think that there is a human growing inside of me. Only another month till he's here."

"Have you thought of a name yet?" he questioned.

"Not yet," she shook her head. "I probably won't know until he's born."

Claire and Charlie walked to her room and went inside. Kate and Sawyer heard the door shut and they looked at each other with smiles.

Claire sat down on the bed and waited for Charlie to follow her.

"Claire," Charlie began.

"Shh," she put her finger to her lips and looked at him innocently. "I don't want to-just come here."

He scooted over to her still sitting on the floor. He stood up on his knees and gave Claire a short, but sweet kiss. He stood up and looked at her.

"We have plenty of time," he told her. "I'm gonna get going ok?"

"Ok," she whispered and smiled. "Goodnight Charlie."

He kissed her again this time on the cheek and left her room. Claire laid back on her bed and put both hands on her stomach.

Kate and Sawyer waved goodbye to Charlie and then cuddled back in each others arms. Sawyer still wanted to kill the real Sawyer. Everytime he brought it up Kate would get this fear in her eyes that made Sawyer feel bad.

"Kate, would you be pissed at me if I ended up killing Sawyer?" he asked.

"I thought we were done talking about this," she responded. "I need-I need you here. You and me are in this together. I'm not doing it alone."

"You won't have to be alone...I won't get caught," he told her.

"You don't even know where he is," she stated. "After he left here...he just disappeared. He hasn't been keeping in touch with Margo or anything. How are you going to find him? And then if you do kill him, how are you going to get away with it."

She looked at him with that fear that got to Sawyer every time. He sighed and shook his head.

"Ok," he whispered. "Don't look at me like that."

"Well then don't scare me," she responded. "This baby needs a daddy."

"You need someone to take care of you," he replied. "I want to be there for you...and I guess the baby too."

"I know that the idea of being a dad has never entirely thrilled you," she said. "But I'm glad that you're pretending for my sake."

"Well, you are right that I never expected to be a dad...or want to be a dad, or think I'd be any good at being a dad...but I know how much you want it. So that makes it alright."

"I don't want you going out and getting yourself killed," she stated.

"I won't," he assured her.

**_4 days later_**

Sawyer at work. Kate was at home. Sawyer didn't want to be at work. He was looking down at his pad of paper.

"What can I get you to drink?" he asked.

"I'll have a coffee and a water," the man replied.

"No problem," Sawyer mumbled.

"You alright son?" he asked. Sawyer looked at the man sitting in front of him. It was Tom Finn...Sawyer. He looked at him and sighed deeply.

"What are you doing here?" Sawyer questioned. "I thought you would have left town by now."

"I just thought maybe you'd want to see your old man on your birthday," he replied.

"First of all...you ain't my old man," Sawyer stated sitting down and leaning close to him. "Second of all...it ain't my birthday for another 2 weeks."

"I know," he nodded. "But I'll be gone by then. Can I buy you a drink when you get off?"

"You know that I'm not old enough to drink Sawyer," Sawyer stated. "I don't care if I never see you again."

During work Sawyer dropped 3 trays of food, and 4 trays of full glasses. He was sure that he would get fired or at least warned. He was getting ready to leave the restaurant and his manager walked into the room.

"Barry," Sawyer sighed. "I'm so sorry about tonight-"

"It's alright," Barry answered. "I just met your dad...I thought you said you had no legal male gaurdian..."

"It's a really long story," he stated.

"I just figured you had a lot on your mind," Barry said.

"Yeah, you're right about that," Sawyer mumbled. "Thanks for being so cool. See ya tomorrow."

"Bye Sawyer," Barry replied. "And give your dad a break...I think he's really missing having you at home. And here...give this to Kate."

Barry handed Sawyer a small wad of money...he looked down at it, and figured there was probably 200 dollars in his hand.

"You don't have to do this," Sawyer mumbled.

"I want to," Barry replied. "Just make sure that you save it up for that baby that's on the way...you need it, but more importantly you deserve it man."

"Thanks," he stated turning red. He rarely liked hand outs...he'd rather con someone out of the money, or gamble it, but to get the money for free was pretty embarrassing. Sawyer walked outside and saw Sawyer leaning against his car. Sawyer walked over and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What do you want?" he asked. 'Tom' Sawyer pulled out a gun and pointed it at 'James' Sawyer. James put his hands up.

"Whoa, wait," James stated. "What are you doin'?"

"Finishing this," he replied. Sawyer started toward James. James grabbed Sawyer's arm and struggled to get the gun away from him. He had a hold on the gun and it went off...

**A/N: I hope that you liked this chapter. I know I usually update every night, but I'm gonna stop updating so much...I'll probably do every other night or something...depending on reviews, and if I can think of ideas quicker. So anyway pleaase review!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Warning: There's a couple instances of harsh language in this chap...sorry if it offends you, but I did warn you.**

Kate was laying in bed, wide awake. She was waiting for Sawyer to come home. When the phone rang Kate jumped. She sighed softly and reached over to pick it up. It was almost midnight. She wondered who it could possibly be. Jack never called...he just came over.

"Hello?" she answered.

"May I speak to Mrs. Ford?" the voice asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "I mean this is me...I'm her."

"We have your husband here at the hospital," he told her.

"Is he ok?" she asked, sitting up and beginning to breathe heavily.

"He's ok," he responded. "But we need you to come get him."

"What happened?" she questioned.

"I actually can't tell you till you get here...there's been an accident, but he's alright...that's all I can tell you."

Kate hung up the phone and got out of bed. As she was walking down the hall she heard Claire's door open.

"Kate?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "I'm going to the hospital...something happened to Sawyer."

"Can I come with you?" she asked.

"Why?" Kate questioned.

"Because I think I'm having contractions," she breathed.

"But you're not supposed to have the baby for 3 more weeks," Kate argued.

"Well maybe you should tell him that," she stated. Kate smiled and nodded. They walked to the car. Kate drove as fast as she could to the hospital. She helped Claire into the hospital, and watched her being wheeled into an examination room. Then she turned around when she heard a southern accent yelling at a doctor.

"I don't care!" he yelled. "I'm fine. I want to go home."

"Sawyer," Kate breathed. She ran toward him. He was sitting up in a hospital bed, fully dressed. She noticed that his shirt had blood spattered on it. "Sawyer, are you ok? What happened?"

"Thank God," he scoffed. "Can we please go home? I just don't want to do-please can we just go home Kate?"

"What happened?" she repeated. She put her hands on his face and looked at him seriously.

"What happened is that these idiots aren't letting me go home," he replied.

"James," she whispered. "What the hell is going on? It's nearly midnight. What is wrong?"

Sawyer looked down at Kate, who was in her pajamas. He put his hand on her belly and kissed her.

"How's the little one doin?" he asked.

"Sawyer, stop changing the subject," she crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell is going on?"

"He was attacked," the doctor told her. "The man who attacked him had a gun...when your husband tried to take it from the man it went off and the man was shot...he died."

"Who?" she asked, looking at Sawyer.

"Sawyer," he mumbled. "Now, can we go?"

"Yeah," she whispered seeing the look on his face. She stood up and continued to look at him. "Wait...we can't go."

"Why?" he frowned.

"Claire," she stated. "Claire's-she was having contractions, so I brought her here to make sure she was ok. It's probably nothing...that's what the doctor said anyway. But we gotta wait for her."

"Ok," he whispered. She and Sawyer waited in the waiting room for what seemed like a really long time. Finally Kate stood up and went to the reception desk.

"What is going on with our friend?" she asked.

"Who is your friend ma'am?" the receptionist questioned.

"Claire-um...Littleton," Kate replied.

"Oh, she's been admitted to the hospital," she responded. "She's still having contractions. We're gonna try to stop them, but she will be here over night."

"Hmm, thanks for telling us," Kate sighed.

"Ma'am we see a lot of people in the ER," she stated calmly. "We can't keep track of all the people who are waiting."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. Can we go see her?"

"Sure," she smiled. "But only for a few minutes. Right now she's in room 3. Janet can you take them please."

Kate smiled at the woman for being understanding. Kate and Sawyer were lead through the hall and toward Claire's room. Claire was laying in the bed and crying softly. Kate walked over to her and sat down next to her.

"Hey," she said quietly. "Claire it's gonna be ok."

"No," Claire shook her head. "I know. I'm just tired. I'm scared, but they all told me that the baby would be ok if he is born tonight or tomorrow...they're just gonna wait as long as they can."

"Do you want me to stay tonight?" Kate asked.

"I don't think you're allowed to," Claire smiled.

"Hey," Kate began. "We're both pregnant women...we can make them let me stay."

"No," she responded. "Thanks, but I'll be ok. I'll be fine. Can you just come back tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Of course I'll come back tomorrow."

Kate and Sawyer were both sleeping. Sawyer kept tossing in his sleep. He woke Kate up at least 6 times. The first 3 times she woke him up to tell him it was just a dream.

She had finally gotten back to sleep when she felt his lips pressing against hers. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She smiled at him sadly and brushed her hand over his face.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Shh," he said. "Just kiss me."

She did. He kissed her back softly and moved down her body. He carefully lifted her shirt over her head and looked down at her growing belly. He put his hand on it, and the baby kicked. He looked at her and smiled.

"Kate?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she said taking his hand in hers.

"I killed Sawyer," he whispered.

"No you didn't," she shook her head. "It was an accident. He had a gun. And from what they said...he kind of killed himself."

"He was gonna try to kill me," he mumbled.

"Then there ya go," she responded. "It is not your fault. And you know what? I still love you."

"I love you too Freckles," he said.

Later that day Kate went to the hospital to visit Claire. She walked down to the room and it was empty. She went back to the reception desk.

"Where's Claire Littleton?" Kate asked. "I came to see her...where did she go?"

"Oh," the receptionist began. "Claire had her baby last night. She's up in a room right now. I can find out where she is right now."

"Thanks," Kate answered.

The receptionist told Kate where to go. When Kate got up to the room Charlie was already there. At first she was going to just wait outside, but Claire insisted that she came in the room. Charlie was sitting on the bed next to Claire. Kate sat down on the chair next to the bed.

"I heard you had the baby," Kate whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He's ok. He's healthy."

"What did you name him?" Kate asked.

"Aaron," Claire answered. "He's so cute."

"He looks just like his mom," Charlie smiled. Kate smiled too.

"Well I guess I'll get going," Kate stated. "I don't want to bother you guys."

"You're not," Claire assured her. "I told you to come see me...I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I'm glad that you had the baby, and I'm glad that he's healthy," Kate answered. "I should go see him, if you say he's as cute as he is."

"He's perfect," she stated. "I know all parents say that their baby is the prettiest and the most perfect, but all other parents are liars...because my baby is."

That night Kate waited for Sawyer to come home from work. It was almost midnight and he wasn't home. Kate had tried to call the restaurant, but no one was answering the phone. She thought maybe they were really busy and Sawyer had to stay later. Kate finally fell asleep before Sawyer got home. She was worried about him so she didn't stay asleep for long. When she woke up at 2:00 in the morning and he still wasn't home, she began to panic. She got out of bed and walked into the front hall.

"What are you doin' Freckles?" Sawyer asked. He was sitting on the couch. She almost ran towards him and flung her arms around him.

"What the hell are _you_ doing?" she asked through a deep breath. "I-I was so worried...why didn't-whoa...have you been drinking?"

"What do you care?" he mumbled.

"Because it's 2:00 in the morning and you smell like rubbing alcohol," she scoffed. "Sawyer why didn't you come to bed."

"When I got home," he began. "You were asleep. You looked like the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I just didn't want to wake you up...I know how you're such a light sleeper now."

"Yeah," she whispered. "But Sawyer...I was so worried. I just want-come on...let's go to bed. I don't want to argue tonight."

"Me neither," he shook his head and kissed her. His lips tasted strongly of whiskey. Kate backed away and breathed in deep.

"Come on," she said sympathetically. She took him by the hand and they walked back to the bedroom. When they laid down Sawyer continued to advance himself on Kate. She was tired and just wanted to sleep. Finally she pushed him hard enough for him to finally get the hint. He turned over and faced the wall.

"Sawyer," she scoffed. "I-"

"Goodnight Kate," he sighed.

Over the next 4 months things only got worse. Sawyer stayed out every night. Kate didn't want to ever argue with him about it so she never said anything...until one night.

Kate was 8 and a half months pregnant. She still didn't want to know what the sex of the baby was, but Sawyer did. The doctor told Sawyer in confidence, and he had been able to keep the secret from her. She was exhausted, her feet were tired, and all she wanted to do was go home and fall into bed. She had been spending the day with the Shephard's and Claire and Aaron. Claire was beginning to pack her stuff so she could move into her own appartment. She was going to be moving in to Charlie's appartment building. They were going to have separate appartments, but only 4 doors away from each other. Kate was walking back to her house. Jack wanted to walk her back, but she refused his help.

"Thanks Jack, but it's 20 feet...I think I'll make it," she smiled.

"Ok," he smiled back. "I'll see you tomorrow Kate."

He kissed her on the cheek and watched her walk back to the house. Sawyer's car was in the driveway which confused Kate, because he told her that he was working late. She went into the house and could hear a woman giggling. She knew that it wasn't Claire, because she had a date with Charlie tonight. Aaron was over at the Shephard's. Kate walked carefully back to the bedrooms. Their door was opened just a crack.

"Stop," she heard Sawyer say. "I can't do this. I'm sorry Maddie...I know I said-but I'm married...we're having a baby."

Kate kicked the door the rest of the way open, and looked at Sawyer. There was another woman sitting on her bed. It was _her_ bed. They were both fully clothed, but it didn't change anything. Sawyer was going to cheat on her.

"I'm just gonna go," the woman who Kate could only guess was Maddie said. Maddie made her way awkwardly past Kate. Kate continued to look at Sawyer, completely stunned. Sawyer didn't say anything.

"Well," Kate finally said. "What's going on? You were going to cheat on me?"

"No," he said quickly. He stood up and put his hands on her face. "I couldn-"

"I don't want to hear it!" she screamed. "No! Sawyer you're supposed to love me forever. I can't-what the hell is your problem!"

"Kate I-" he began.

"Don't you love me," she sobbed.

"Yes," he stated. "Of course I love you."

"Over the last 4 months you haven't said anything to me!" she exclaimed. "You won't talk to me! You just spend your entire time drinking! You're just an alcoholic loser!"

"Don't call me a loser," he said, this time with some anger in his voice.

"Why?" she asked. "That's what you are. You-how many have their been? I want to know what kind of diseases me and your baby are going to get."

"I haven't cheated on you!" he yelled. "I'm sorry!"

"No you're not!" she screamed back. "You want her and you know it! Maybe if you run you can still catch her! Go screw her all night long!"

"Shut up!"

"No!" she sobbed. "I don't believe you! You cheated on me...maybe not physically, but emotionally we haven't been together in 4 months Sawyer."

"You haven't even tried to be there for me," he began. "All I've wanted you to do is be there...for me to hold and you won't let me."

"No," she scoffed. "That first night...that night that you came home drunk and didn't wake me up...you wanted to have sex. You didn't want to talk to me, or cuddle with me...you just wanted my body."

"Well I don't any more if that makes you feel any better," he chuckled.

"You're a total ass!" she yelled, getting steamed up again. "I am having your baby!"

"I know!" he yelled back. "And guess what! It's a girl...why don't you go out and by a bunch of pink shit!"

She looked at him and shook her head.

"I never want to see you again," she said quietly. "Get out of my house."

"No," he answered. "It's my house too."

"I'm _letting_ you stay here, so leave!" she yelled.

"No!" he screamed back.

"I hate you! And you know what? I miss Jack. I wish that I was with him!" she screamed.

"Then go be with him!" he exclaimed.

"Maybe I will!" She took her ring off and threw it at Sawyer. She started to walk away from him and he grabbed on to her wrist.

"If you leave...don't plan on comin' crawling back to me," he stated. She jerked her arm away from him and walked out of the house. She started walking to Jack's house and felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She breathed in deep and kept walking. When she got to Jack's door she knocked quickly. Jack answered the door holding baby Aaron.

"Kate," he said, noticing she was crying and looked desperate. "Come in."

She walked inside and went over to the couch. She put her head down and started breathing deeply. She kept feeling the sharp pains but refused to say anything out loud. Jack walked over to her and set the baby down. He put his arm around her and looked at her.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Sawyer and I had a fight," she winced, feeling the pain again. "We're gonna-I never want to see him again."

"Kate, I know that's not true," he chuckled. "You love him...if you didn't you wouldn't be so upset."

"I walked in on him and some other woman," she whispered. "They didn't do anything, but kiss...I guess."

"And how do you know that?" he asked.

"I heard Sawyer say that he couldn't do it," she responded. "But I accused him of having an affair, and giving me and the baby a disease."

"Ooh, harsh," Jack stated.

"And he told me that I was having a girl," she frowned.

"He told you?" Jack asked. "Oh...I'm sorry. I knew how much you wanted it to be a surprise. But if it makes you feel any better he told me and my mom...we've already bought you a bunch of girly, but not pink stuff."

"I kind of want the pink stuff," she sobbed. "But I want Sawyer back more. OW!"

"Kate, are you having contractions?" he asked quickly.

"I don't know," she replied. "It hurts right here."

Kate pointed to her stomach and groaned again. Jack sighed and helped her stand. He started walking toward the front door. He put on his coat and looked up the stairs.

"Mom!" he exclaimed. "Kate's going into labor. Can you come down here and look after Aaron."

"Yeah!" she yelled back. "Congrats Kate! I know you can do it!"

Kate let out a small chuckle, and Jack helped her outside and down to the car. Jack looked at her and then back at her and Sawyer's house.

"Do you want me to go tell him?" he asked.

"Um-Jack my water just broke," she breathed. "Sorry."

"Kate, it's ok," he stated. "Ok...let's go."

Jack drove Kate to the hospital. Once they were there Kate was put into a room. Jack stayed by Kate's side and held her hand. They were only there for 30 minutes when the doctor came in.

"Are you ready to be parents?" the doctor asked.

"Parent," Jack corrected. "I'm not the dad...just the best friend."

"Oh, well are you gonna be in the room with her then?" the doctor asked. Kate looked at him, slightly frightened that he was going to say no.

"Yeah," he answered quickly. "I'll be right there Kate."

"Thanks Jack," she said, tears coming into her eyes. "I wish Sawyer were here."

"Ask and you shall receive," Sawyer stated, coming into the room. "I'm so sorry Freckles. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine...just having a baby," she sobbed. He walked over to the bed and took her by the hand.

"Well we gotta go to the delivery room," the doctor said. Jack moved out of the way and they wheeled Kate out of the room, and toward the delivery room.

In the delivery room Sawyer was holding on to Kate's hand and brushing his other hand across her forehead.

"I love you," he whispered. "I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I told you that we're having a girl."

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head. "I love you too."

"Ok Kate," the nurse began. "Give me a big push."

Kate pushed and squeezed Sawyer's hand tighter. Kate looked up at Sawyer and breathed out.

"I can't do this," she sobbed. "I can't. It hurts too much."

"Kate, you just got one more big one," the nurse told her.

"No," she shook her head. "I can't. I changed my mind. I don't want to be a mom. Push it back in. I don't want to do this."

"Kate, it's too late now," the nurse continued. "You have to do this, or it's gonna be dangerous for you and the baby. Come on."

"Sawyer, I can't," she whispered.

"Yes you can," he whispered back. He knelt next to her head and kissed her on the cheek. "You can do this Freckles. We're gonna be parents in like 30 seconds...so get ready. Come on. You're so strong...I know you can Kate."

He kissed her again and she nodded. She gave one more push and they could hear their baby crying. The nurse put the baby on Kate's chest. Kate was sobbing and smiling at the same time. She looked down at the baby and couldn't look away.

"Hi," she choked out. "Hi...I'm your mommy."

The nurse took the baby away from her to clean her off and take care of her.

"Wait," Kate stared. "I want to hold her...where are you taking her?"

"They're just making her all pretty for you," Sawyer said quietly. He stood up on his tiptoes and looked over the group of nurses.

"She was already pretty," Kate told him.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But now, she'll be even prettier."

Sawyer still hadn't let go of Kate's hand. He knelt down next to Kate again and looked at her. He pulled her ring out of his pocket and handed it back to her. She put it on her finger and hugged him.

"We're parents," Kate said wiping the tears out of her eyes. He stood up and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and became a little more passionate.

"Hold on you guys," a nurse stated. "You gotta wait at least 6 weeks...and believe me you're gonna want to. Do you want to see your daughter?"

"Yes please," Kate whispered. The nurse handed Kate the baby again and both Sawyer and Kate looked at her.

Later that night Kate was laying in her hospital bed. Sawyer had climbed in next to her. Sawyer was running his fingers up and down Kate's back.

"What should we name her?" Kate asked.

"Dunno," he shrugged.

"I want her middle name to be Diane," she stated. "I know it sounds stupid, but she was my mom. I think she would really like it."

"Ok," he shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

"What's your favorite name?" she asked.

"Kate," he answered.

"We're not naming her Kate," she chuckled. "It would get way too confusing."

"No it wouldn't," he shrugged. "She could be Katie...and you're Freckles."

"Do you really want to name her Katie?" she asked.

"Why not?" he questioned back.

"Ok," she nodded. "Katie or Katherine?"

"You pick," he replied.

"Katie Diane?" she asked.

"I like it," he stated with a small kiss on the lips.

**A/N: OK so I know that this jumped ahead a lot and a lot happened, but I really didn't have any ideas. I knew that I wanted there to be a fight right before Kate gave birth so I hope that was ok, and the make up was ok, and not too quick...I just thought that because she was having the baby they would both have wanted to make up anyway. I also know that the end was kind of cheesy, but I just thought that I personally have never read a fic where the baby's name has been Katie...it's always been named after Sawyer (James), so I thought it would be kind of cute. I hope you guys all like this chapter. Please review!!!**


	36. Chapter 36

**3 days later**

Even though Sawyer and Kate had made up, things were still a little awkward. The fact that Sawyer seemed to spend every waking moment at work didn't make Kate feel any better. Kate was sitting up in her bed at home. She was holding the baby, and couldn't look away. Sawyer came into the room and sat down next to her. He kissed her and put his arm around her.

"Isn't she perfect?" Kate whispered. "And she already knows my voice...watch. Katie."

The baby looked up at Kate and smiled widely. Sawyer chuckled and put his hand gently on the baby's face.

"Do you think she knows my voice?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno. Talk to her," she said. Sawyer lifted the baby out of Kate's arms and held her. He looked at Kate who was already wanting to take the baby back.

"You just calm down," he stated. "I'll give her right back."

"It's so weird," she whispered. "I mean 3 days ago she was inside me...and now she's-she's mine. Well ours. My arms don't feel the same without her."

"Hey Katie," Sawyer said looking down at the baby. He couldn't help but smile at the tiny baby. She had a full head of dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. Katie smiled, and then started crying. Sawyer immediately handed her back to Kate and looked at her somewhat guilitily.

"I didn't do anything," he stated defensively.

"Sawyer, it's alright," she laughed. "She's a baby...pretty much our entire life for the next 6 months or maybe more will be crying, pooping and eating. They don't do much else."

"Well what's the matter with her now?" he asked.

"That's what we have to figure out," she responded. "We have to learn what her cries mean."

Kate stood up and walked into the baby's room. Sawyer followed her and sat down in the rocking chair before Kate could get there.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm gonna watch you be a mommy," he smirked. "You're going to figure out what is wrong with her."

"I think she needs to be changed," she stated.

"Well then I'm glad I got comfortable," he said. "You have fun with that."

Kate changed the diaper. She walked over to where Sawyer was sitting and glared at him.

"You wanna get up?" she asked.

"Not really," he mumbled. "But I will."

He stood up and Kate took his place. She rocked gently, and Katie went to sleep almost immediately. Kate stood up carefully and put the baby down in the crib. She walked over to Sawyer and wrapped her arms around him. He rocked them from side to side and then started to leave.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Work," he answered obviously. "I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to, but considering we have no money..."

"It's ok," she shrugged. "Jack's coming over after his class. He's excited to see Katie. He hasn't even seen her yet."

"Well he's busy bein' a doctor," Sawyer replied.

"We've already told you that it's going to be another 8 years," Kate laughed. "I just-Claire's gone now...it's just weird. Kind of lonely...I mean I've started wataching soap operas...I'm becoming some home body housewife."

"Yeah, but you're cuter," he told her. "You're not a housewife Kate...you're just a mom."

"Look at me," she said opening her arms and gesturing to herself. "I'm wearing your shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I'm supposed to be-I don't know...I know that I never really wanted to go to college...but I never wanted to be this either."

"Why?" he asked. "I thought you wanted to be a mom."

"Well I do," she sighed. "I just wanted to be a hot mom. With cute clothes and pretty hair."

"Kate, come here," he took her by the hand and lead her into their bedroom. He planted her in front of the mirror and pointed. "Look. You are a hot mom. I mean come on. And your hair..."

He twisted her hair and lifted it off her neck. He kissed her neck and then put his arms around her.

"And I'm fat," she said sadly.

"Freckles," he sighed. He turned her toward him and looked at her. "You aren't fat. You just had a baby. You've been eating pickles and ice cream and well what ever the hell else you've been craving. You're not fat."

"You practically have to force yourself to say that," she frowned.

"Ok," he stated. "Stop. I love you. All of you. Even if you haven't lost all your baby weight yet. It's been 3 days...give it some time."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "You're right."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm always right when it comes to you. Now, I'm gonna go to work, but I told Barry that I could only work till 7. So I'll be home in...10 hours."

"That's too long," she complained.

"Ok, well when Jack get's here leave Katie with the doc, and come see me," he offered.

"I don't want to be away from Katie for that long," she smirked.

"Well then bring the little rugrat with you."

"Hell no," she scoffed. "I am not going to bring our newborn to a loud smelly restaurant...who knows how many germs are there."

"Ok, Kate, you're just stalling now," he said. "I know you don't want me to leave...I don't want to leave either, but I have to go to work or I'm gonna be late...and then we're gonna have a bigger problem."

"Ok," she sighed. "Bye."

He bent down and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and lifted herself up on her tiptoes to hug him tighter.

"Later darlin'," they both smiled at each other and Sawyer left the house. Kate went into the living room and sat down. She had just ajusted herself in her seat when Katie began to cry. She sighed deeply and stood back up. She went into Katie's room and picked her up.

"Hey my beautiful girl," Kate said quietly. "What's the matter?"

Katie stopped crying at the sound of Kate's voice. Kate smirked and walked back out to the living room. She sat down and rocked the baby in her arms. She had no idea how to feel. She loved her so much. She sat with Katie the entire day, they both took naps. Jack came over for a few hours. He had been so busy with school and work that he hadn't had time to go see the baby at the hospital. He made dinner for Kate and when they were done eating he left to go write a paper for one of his classes. Kate went back to the couch with the baby. When Sawyer got home he immediately saw Kate sitting on the couch, with her head leaning against the wall. She was sleeping soundly. The baby was on her lap fussing, but not loud enough for it to wake up Kate. Sawyer walked over to Kate and picked the baby up. He held the baby securely and she started crying louder. He sighed and started shushing her. He walked out of the living room and into Katie's room. He sat down in the rocking chair. He started rocking and Katie continued to cry.

"Hey shrimp, please stop crying," he sighed. "You're so much cuter when you don't cry."

As Sawyer spoke, he noticed that Katie stopped crying. As soon as he stopped talking Katie started fussing again.

"Ok," he laughed. "Fine, I'll talk. Um, once upon a time, there was a baby who needed to go to sleep. The end. Now go to sleep."

Katie looked up at Sawyer and got ready to start crying again. Sawyer started rocking again. Sawyer started talking again and finally after 20 minutes Katie went to sleep. He stood up and put her down in the crib. She started waking up and Sawyer swore softly under his breath.

"Shh," he whispered. He rubbed Katie's belly and she went back to sleep. He sighed softly and walked out of the room. He practically tripped over Kate who was sitting on the floor outside of the room.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"Listening to you tell our baby a story," she smiled. "I woke up pretty much when you took her from me, then I heard you talking to her. It was too damn cute so I didn't want to ruin it."

Sawyer held out his hands for Kate to take. She did and then stood up. She kissed him softly and put her arms around him. Sawyer brushed her hair out of her face.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled. "And you're gorgeous too."

"Ah, but you don't have to tell me that," he smiled. "You're the one who doesn't feel pretty any more."

"I do," she said. "I guess...I know you love me, and that's really all that matters to me. But-Sawyer, what happened? What happened to what we used to have? I mean we used to gross out Jack and Claire, but for the last couple months we've barely touched each other. If it's something I did...please tell me."

"Well you better believe that I love you," he sighed. "And of course it's nothing that you did Kate. I'm still sorry"

"It's been 3 days," she said quietly.

"I know," he nodded.

They went into their bedroom and Sawyer sat down on the bed. Kate followed him and sighed softly. He took her hand in his and let out a breath.

"Kate," he began. "I know that I hurt you...but I stopped it. What happened...I don't know. I was at work and this girl was-she was flirting with me. She wanted me...I know it sounds stupid. I just-it was a mistake...but I promise, she's the only person that I ever did anything with. All those other nights I've been gone, have been just me...me and a bottle of whiskey."

"I believe you," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said again. "Can't we just start over?"

"You mean give each other a clean slate?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Like on Little House."

"Little House?" she asked. "You call it Little House...and more importantly you watched it?"

"Yeah," he scoffed. "I had mono when I was 9...it's the only channel we got in the trailer."

"That's just about the cutest thing I ever heard," she chuckled. She laid back and Sawyer laid with her. They didn't touch each other, but just looked at each other. Sawyer began to count the freckles on Kate's face. She didn't count anything, but she just studied his eyes.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"Maybe Barry can give me some time off," he stated. "I can ask him to give me a couple weeks with my girls."

Kate moved closer to him and put her head against his chest.

"Do you know how much that would mean to me?" she asked. "I mean considering it's only been 3 days...I'm just exhausted. I know you've been getting up with her at night and you've really been great, but it would just be nice to have you here."

"Consider it done then," he shrugged. They could both hear the baby crying. Kate started to get up. Sawyer gently pushed her back down. He stood up and went to go get the baby. He came back and set the baby between them. Kate looked down at the baby and then at Sawyer.

"I really do forgive you," she said. "As long as you don't ever do it again."

"Never," he whispered. "I don't know why I did it Kate. I guess you're kind of right...we hadn't really been together in a while. And I guess I just missed it."

"Then why didn't you just come home?" she asked. "I mean I was pregnant, but that doesn't mean that we had to just stop making love."

"I know," he nodded. "But I couldn't-I could barely even look at you. I mean I-I killed Sawyer...how could you still-

"I killed my own father," she stated. "What happened was not your fault. We already talked about that. I know that you wanted to kill him since you were 8, but you didn't kill him on purpose. That was not your fault. He would have killed you. I'm glad that you killed him before he could kill you. Both of the assholes from our pasts are gone."

Sawyer leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed back and then looked at the baby. She took Sawyer by the hand and squeezed it.

Later that night they had put the baby back in her crib and were laying together. Sawyer kept kissing Kate, not being able to or wanting to stop.

"When can we-you know," he asked through a kiss.

"Hmm," she mumbled. "That is so romantic."

"Well?" he asked, this time seriously.

"I dunno," she scoffed. "The doctor said at least 6 weeks."

"But it's been over a month already," he informed her.

"Well who's fault is that?" she asked. "It's certainly not mine. Sawyer, chill. We can do other things. The doctor never said anything about kissing."

He smiled and let out a soft chuckle. They kissed again. Sawyer took Kate's hand in his and looked at her ring. He looked back at her.

"Thanks for keeping my ring," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry I threw it at you," she frowned. "I know how much this means to you. And this ring will never come off my finger again."

He kissed her hand and then pulled her into a hug.

"Goodnight Freckles," he said quietly.

"Yeah," she yawned. "I'll see you in a couple hours when the baby wakes up."

**A/N: Ok, that was kind of fluffy, and definitely not my favorite chapter, but I hope you will continue reading and reviewing. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do for the next chapter yet, but I'll update ASAP. R & R please please please!**


	37. Chapter 37

When Sawyer walked into the house he could hear the baby crying. He went into the nursery and saw Katie in her crib. He walked over to her and picked her up. 

"Hey," he whispered. "Where's mommy huh?"

He walked out of the room still carrying the baby. He went into the bedroom and saw Kate laying in the bed. He walked over to her and brushed his hand across her forehead.

"Kate," he said. "Wake up."

She didn't. He shook her slightly harder and still she didn't wake up. Sawyer quickly set the baby down on the bed and shook Kate again.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Come on Freckles, open your eyes! Open your eyes baby."

She still didn't. Katie was now crying again. Sawyer bent down and kissed Kate, hoping that it would wake her up. He stood up and went over to the phone. He dialed 9-1-1 and waited for an answer. It was a busy signal.

"Dammit!" he yelled. He picked up the phone again and re-dialed. It was still a busy signal. He threw the phone against the wall. It made a loud crash as it hit the wall and then the floor. It broke in 5 different places. Now Katie was screaming. Sawyer sighed and picked her up again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "That was loud. I'm sorry."

She didn't seem to be calming down in the least. Sawyer took a deep breath and walked out into the living room to the other phone. This time he dialed the Shephard's.

"Hello?" Margo said.

"Marge," he began. "It's Kate. Something's wrong with her. I got home and she's not waking up. I was only gone for 30 minutes...we needed diapers. What-what should I do?"

"Is she breathing?" Margo asked.

"I don't know," he answered. "Can you just come over?"

"Of course I will," she responded. "Jack's here too.."

"Thanks," he mumbled and hung up the phone. He walked back into the bedroom and checked to see if she was breathing. He put the baby back down on the bed and looked at Kate.

"Kate, wake up!" he yelled.

When Jack and Margo came into the room they could hear the baby crying. Sawyer was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up and his head hung down. His hands were shaking.

Margo picked up the baby and Jack went to Kate's side. He started checking her, but it was taking way too long for Sawyer.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Sawyer asked angerly.

"I'm checking her out Sawyer, I don't really know what I'm doing," Jack replied. "I think I've already told you that I'm not a doctor yet. I haven't even taken any medical classes."

"Ok, fine just fix her. Please," he sighed.

"Did you call 9-1-1?" Jack asked.

"Nope," Sawyer answered. "I figured that you could help her better than a real doctor. Of course I did Jackass...all I got was a busy signal."

"Mom," Jack began. "Can you go try them again? Sawyer, can you hold your baby and calm her down."

Sawyer just realized that even though Margo was holding the baby she wasn't quieting down much. He nodded slowly and stood up. He took the baby from Margo and started to rock her gently.

"Ok, she's breathing," Jack breathed.

"Well what the hell took you so long?" Sawyer mumbled.

"She's going to be ok," Jack whispered. "She has to be ok."

Jack left the room, yelling for Margo. Sawyer figured he was going to see if an ambulance was on the way. Sawyer sat on the floor in the same spot staring out into space. He was still holding Katie who was still crying. He was bouncing unaffectively. Finally the ambulance came and took Kate away. Sawyer stood up and handed the baby to Jack.

"I'm going to the hospital," he murmured. "Can you take care of the baby?"

"Yeah, but how pissed do you think Kate's gonna be if she wakes up and you didn't bring the baby with you," Jack stated, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't really care," he stated. "I have to go sit in the waiting room for who knows how long...I don't want Katie to be around all those sick people."

"I'll come a little later on. I'm sure that my mom could watch Katie for a bit," Jack said patting Sawyer on the shoulder. "She's gonna be ok. I promise."

"Don't," Sawyer shook his head. "We were supposed to be a happy family. What the hell happened?"

"I dunno," he whispered.

Sawyer was on his way to the hospital. It was raining heavily. He drove as fast as he could. He didn't care that he could barely see in front of his car. He had to get to the hospital. He wasn't thinking that Kate wouldn't know whether he was there or not...all he knew was that he had to get there. He stopped at the red light. As the headlights in front of him got closer the last thing Sawyer thought was _Oh my God that car isn't going to stop_.

**A/N: OK so I know that that was really short, and really cliffhangery but I didn't get very many reviews last time haha. I will update again probably sometime tomorrow...I know I said I wasn't going to update as much, but I've been making time to write b/c I love you guys! Haha...anyway please review...the more reviews I get the sooner I'll update**.


	38. Chapter 38

When Kate woke up she felt warm blankets covering her. She looked over at the monitors that she was hooked up to. A young nurse came walking over to her and smiled. She didn't really know what was going on. She realized that she was in the hospital, she just didn't know why. 

"You gave us quite a scare. I guess your husband was pretty freaked...he was yelling something at the EMT's who brought you in," he stated. She let out a chuckle.

"Where is he?" she asked. "And more importantly what happened?"

"Well we think you have exhaustion," he told her. "Have you been sleeping lately?"

"I have a 2 week year old daughter," she stated. "Of course I haven't been sleeping."

"Well we're just going to keep you over night...but you can go home tomorrow. As long as you promise to let your friends and family help you with the baby," he said.

"You didn't answer my other question," she replied quietly. "Where is my husband?"

"I'll go find him for you," he answered. "He didn't come with you in the ambulance, but I'm pretty sure he was on his way."

Sawyer woke up and knew that he was in the hospital. He felt like he had been hit with a truck. Technically he had been. The driver who hit him was drunk. He looked at the IV in his hand and went to take it out.

"What are you doing?" his nurse asked.

"I have to go see if Kate is ok," he responded. "I was coming here to see her. I need to go find her!"

"Calm down," the nurse said quietly. "It's going to be alright. Your wife is-"

"Kate!" he yelled and interrupted.

"Does she have curly dark brown hair?" she asked. Her tone didn't comfort him.

"Is she alright?" he questioned. "She's ok right? Jack said she'd be ok!"

"Sir, lemme go find a doctor to talk to you," she replied.

"No!" he exclaimed. "Tell me right the hell now what is going on!"

"She-" she began. "She didn't make it. I'm sorry. She died on the way to the hospital. We did everything that we could."

"No," he shook his head. "You must be mistaking. She was fine. She was breathing. Jack said-Jack told me that she was going to be ok."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"Leave me alone," he mumbled.

Jack walked into Kate's room and smiled down at her. She let out a deep breath. Jack was carrying Katie in his arms.

"Can I hold her?" she asked. "I wanna see her."

"Of course," he chuckled. "Here."

Kate looked down at the baby and smiled. She started singing softly as Katie started fussing slightly.

"Where's Sawyer?" she asked.

"Kate," he began. "There's something I have to tell you."

"What?" she questioned, already panicking and preparing herself for what Jack was about to say.

"On the way over here I passed a car accident. It was a car that looked exactly like Sawyer's. The car was completely smashed in. There's no way that whoever was driving that car survived."

"No," she whispered. "No Jack. Don't-"

"He's-when I came here I asked about you first, and then I asked about Sawyer. They had a car accident come in...one of the men was in serious condition and the other two people didn't survive. A man and a woman."

"Well maybe-" she started.

"Kate, the man who didn't survive-" he interrupted. "His name was James."

"No!" she yelled. "No. Katie can't live without her daddy."

"I'm so sorry Kate," he whispered. He got into the bed next to her and held her. She sobbed on his shoulder and continued to say 'no'.

Sawyer started trying to get out of the bed. It wasn't easy because he had a broken leg, a slight concusion and a separated shoulder. He swung his legs out to stand up and let out a pained yell. He took a deep breath and continued out of the bed.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" the nurse asked.

"My daughter," he started. "She's all alone. She needs her mommy."

"James, you need to stay in bed."

"No!" he yelled, with as much energy as he could. "If you won't let me walk, you're going to wheel me in a wheelchair. I have to find out about my wife."

"I'll have the doctor talk to you," she promised. "I'll be right back."

As Kate lay there in bed, she wanted to leave more than anything else. The doctors told her that she could get up and take a short walk as long as she didn't push herself too much.

She and Jack started walking. He was holding her arm to steady her. She put her head on his shoulder as they walked. Sawyer couldn't be dead.

"Your wife sustained too many injuries," the doctor told him. "I am very sorry."

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "I came home from work and my wife was laying on the bed unconcious."

"You mean your wife wasn't in the car with you?" the doctor asked.

"Uh, no," he scoffed. "I was coming here to see her. Where the hell is my wife?"

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed and practically ran into the room. Jack looked in on the scene in awe. He put his hands to his mouth and watched. Sawyer closed his eyes and blinked away the tears that had started forming. She hugged him a little too tightly.

"Watch my shoulder," he whispered, but didn't let go of her. She crawled into the bed next to him and started crying hard. He squeezed her tightly and started kissing her head, and cheeks.

"They said you died," she sobbed.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "That's been going on a lot today."

She looked at him and kissed him softly.

"How's Katie doin'?" he asked.

"Jack has her," she stated, closing her eyes. "I guess I have exhaustion...that's why I passed out."

She started breathing softly, keeping her eyes closed. Before Sawyer could answer her or tell her anything she had fallen asleep.

Later that night they let Sawyer and Kate move into the same room. Kate continued to get out of her bed to cuddle with Sawyer. Every 2 hours a nurse would come in to check their vitals, and tell Kate to get back into her own bed. Neither of them liked being away from Katie, but they were both glad to get at least some sleep. Sawyer was already starting to feel better. His leg was killing him, but his shoulder had already started feeling better and his headache wasn't nearly as bad.

The next morning Sawyer's hand was tangled in Kate's hair. When he woke up he noticed it, and tried his best to untangle it without waking her up. He had successfully untangled his hand and took his arm from around her. When he did that she woke up and looked at him.

"Figures," he mumbled. "How are you feelin'?"

"How am I feeling?" she asked. "I'm fine..how are you feeling?"

"Good," he nodded. "I'm ready to go home."

The doctors made him stay one more night, and gave Kate special permission to stay with him for the night. They said that it was to give her one more night of rest, but both Sawyer and Kate knew it was just because she had given them her puppy eyes.

They were heading up the steps to their house. Jack had come to pick them up at the hospital. Kate was helping Sawyer up the steps and opened the door for him. When they opened the door Margo was standing in the doorway, getting ready to hand Katie over to them. Kate took the baby from Margo and held her close. She brought her over to where Sawyer was standing. Sawyer looked down at the baby. Her blue eyes were shinning up at him. They all made their way into the living room and sat down. Kate was holding the baby still and refused to give her up.

"We have a present for you guys," Jack stated. He handed Sawyer an envelope and smiled at them both. Sawyer opened the envelope and looked down at two plane tickets.

"What is this?" Kate asked.

"A honeymoon that you guys never got," Margo replied. "Two tickets to Austrialia."

"Why Austrialia?" Sawyer asked.

"Because that's where our air miles would take you," she chuckled. "But you guys deserve it. It's only a week away from the baby. And she'll be in good hands. We'll make sure to take lots of pictures and video of her."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I don't want to be away from home...especially not away from Katie. She's just a baby. She doesn't understand why we're gonna be gone."

"She won't even realize it," Jack replied. "Well ok...she'll know that me and mom aren't her parents, but she won't even remember that you're gone...and when you get back it won't even matter that you were gone."

"When do we leave?" Sawyer asked.

"3 weeks," Margo stated.

That night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed together. Kate still didn't want to go on a trip without the baby. After all Katie was still so little. She would only be a month old when they left. She didn't want to leave her baby for that long. Sawyer put his hand on Kate's cheek.

"Freckles, it's only for a week," he said. "And personally I think we're gonna need some time alone. I mean considering everything that has happened...we just need to be together...just the two of us."

"Well I know," she nodded. "But I just wish that we could have a vacation, with Katie there too."

"Well, maybe Margo and Jack can come too and then they can take care of Katie while we have time alone."

"I would like that," she answered. "I just don't like the idea of being away from Katie. I won't even be able to talk to her on the phone."

"Sure you can," he argued. "You can talk to her and tell her how much you love her...and sing to her."

"I don't sing," she smiled.

"Sure you do," he stated. "You sing to her almost every night."

"What is she going to do without that?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Make her a tape of you singing. Jack can play it for her every night."

The next morning Jack came over to their house early in the morning. Kate was sitting down to breakfast with Sawyer when there was a knock at the door. Kate stood back up and answered the door.

"Ok," Jack began without even saying hi or goodmorning. "So here's the deal. Mom and I were talking about it, and we know how much you want to be with Katie. You don't really want a full vacation without her right? Well I have a solution. Me and mom are gonna come with you. We're gonna be there any time you need us to take Katie...so you can see her any time you want."

Kate jumped up and hugged Jack. She started smiling and laughing. Jack let out a small chuckle. He knew that it had really made Kate happy.

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer had just gotten his cast off. His leg was still a little sore, but it was much better too. He was sitting next to Kate at the airport. Jack and Margo were sitting across the way with the baby. Sawyer was holding Kate's hand and whispering into her ear.

"It's like we're newlyweds again."

"We still are sort of," she smiled. "It's only been a year."

"Oh that's right," he chuckled. "We've been married for exactly one year today. I totally forgot."

"You forgot?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "I'll be right back."

He stood up and Kate watched him walk down the hall. He was gone for about 15 minutes and came back with a single rose. He handed it to her.

"I know it's not much," he replied. "But one rose, for one year. I would have bought an entire bouquet but the bouquets were like 40 bucks."

"It's ok," she smiled. "One rose, for one year is cute. I love it."

"Oh," he began. "And this."

He handed her a small box. She looked at him and smirked. He had tricked her into believing that he had forgotten. She opened the box and there was a silver heart necklace inside. She touched it with her fingertips and smiled at him.

"It's gorgeous," she whispered.

"Sorry it's not gold," he mumbled. "It's all I could afford."

"No," she shook her head. "I love it. It's simple and pretty."

"Just like you," he stated, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Hmm, so now I'm simple?" she asked.

"You know what I mean," he smirked. "You ain't some high maintenance chick. You're perfect."

"You're perfect," she chuckled.

"I think that's the biggest lie either of us have ever told," he laughed.

"I like not being perfect," Kate said.

"Me too," he nodded.

They were in Austrialia. Kate was sitting on the beach waiting for Sawyer to get back with drinks. He came up behind her and put a piece of ice on the back of her neck. She gasped loudly and turned around.

"You jerk!" she exclaimed. She stood up and took her bottle of soda from him. He chuckled and stepped toward her.

"You know you love me," he smirked. She stepped toward him too and wrapped her arms around him. He took another ice cube and put it in the back of her bathing suit. It wasn't easy because she was wearing a two piece, but it got the job done and she squealed loudly. She pushed him and started to chase him toward the water. When they got to the water Sawyer picked Kate up and ran into the water still carrying her. She pushed him under the water and when they came up for air they kissed.

That night when Kate and Sawyer went up to their room they noticed noise coming from their room. Kate opened the door carefully and there standing before them was all their friends. Charlie, Claire, Aaron, Shannon, Hurley and Sayid. Kate and Sawyer both looked at each other and then back at the group of people.

"Happy Aniversary," Jack stated, coming up behind them. "It's a party for you guys."

They spent the night hanging out and having fun. Sawyer and Kate were happy to see everyone, and had a great time. About half way through the night Sawyer kept getting antsy. Everyone knew that he wanted them to leave. Shannon stood up first claiming that she was extremely tired. Everyone else followed her. Kate smirked at Sawyer and shook her head. The room was now empty. Jack had gone back to his own room. Margo was taking care of the baby.

Kate and Sawyer got into the bed and laid down. Kate smiled at Sawyer and touched his face softly.

"That was very subtle Sawyer...getting them to leave," she said.

"I thought it was pretty damn clever if I do say so myself," he smirked.

"Well, I don't get what the big deal was," she shrugged. "I mean it's only 8:00...they could have stayed for longer."

"Hey, I thought this was suppose to be our honeymoon," he complained. "I mean it was nice of the doc and all...to invite everyone, but seriously. It's supposed to be a honeymoon...just the two of us."

"Yeah, well now we have the rest of the night to be alone," she stated. He kissed her and rolled over on top of her. She kissed him back, but then backed away.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked. "I mean...you were in a car crash 3 weeks ago."

"Yeah, and I know what you're going to say next," he responded. "You only had Katie a month ago. I get it. But I just want us back."

"You have me forever Sawyer," she whispered. "Forever and ever."

This time she rolled on top of him. She brushed her lips softly over his. She laid down on his chest and breathed him in. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair.

"Tomorrow," she stated quietly.

"Tomorrow what?" he asked.

"I'll throw caution to the wind. Forget about the doctor's orders to wait 6 weeks. You're right, it has been long enough," she told him. He smiled and kissed her softly.

"No," he shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you...and if the doctor said we had to wait 6 weeks, then we will."

"I don't really care what the doctor's say Sawyer," she stated. "I just miss it. I miss you."

"I'm right here darlin'," he replied. "And I ain't goin' anywhere."

Throughout the week everyone stayed in Austrialia. Sawyer and Kate spent a lot of time alone, but also a lot of time with their friends. Every night they would read to Katie and say good night.

It was the night before their flight back home. Kate had fallen asleep in Sawyer's arms, but when she woke up he wasn't there. She stood up and went outside of the hotel room. She headed down to Jack's hotel room to ask him if he has seen him. She knocked softly and Jack opened the door for her.

"Have you see-" she began in a whisper.

"Yeah, he's here," Jack whispered back. "Come here..."

He walked with Kate toward where the balcony was. She peeked through the curtains and saw Sawyer sitting on the balcony holding Katie in his arms. And he was _singing_. She covered her mouth with her hand and sat down on the other side of the door.

_Hush little baby don't say a word Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird_.

As he continued to sing, Kate just watched him. She never knew that he would look so natural with the baby. She had seen Sawyer hold Katie before, but never like this.

"What's going on Jack?" she whispered. "Why is he here?"

"Kate you wouldn't believe me if I told you," he chuckled.

"Try me," she smiled.

"He came here because he said he wanted to say goodnight to his girl," Jack replied. "And when I told him that he already said goodnight, he said he needed to see her just one more time before he went to sleep."

"Are you serious?" she asked, still smiling.

"Yeah, and when he went to the crib Katie woke up. So he picked her up and tried talking but that didn't work. So he went outside. He sang that Katie song first...that song that your dad used to sing to you."

"K-k-k-Katie, beautiful Katie?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"My dad used to sing that to me," she smiled.

"I know," he chuckled. "I just told you that. I definitely remember sitting outside of your house on days when your dad would be going away and he would be singing that, and you would be sobbing."

"Shut up, that was only that one time, and it was a long time ago," she scoffed. "I was only like 13."

"I know," he nodded. "I remember."

Kate stood up and slowly opened the door to the balcony. She silently sat down next to Sawyer and looked down at the baby. She was sleeping, but Sawyer was still singing.

"You're singing," she said quietly.

"Yeah," he whispered and scoffed. "But she won't stay asleep. When I stop-"

In the middle of his sentence Katie started moving around and began the starts of a cry. He immediately started to sing again. Kate put her head on his shoulder and started singing softly with him. The baby went back to sleep quickly. When they were finished with the song, they both looked at the baby to see if she would stay asleep. She didn't. She started fussing quietly.

"I can't stand to see her crying," he mumbled.

"Honey, she's a baby," Kate answered. "She's gonna cry. And sometimes you just gotta let them."

Kate and Sawyer stayed on the balcony until people started complaining about the singing. They went inside the room and put the baby down.

"Maybe we should just take her back to our room tonight," Kate stated.

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered.

"Um, no," Jack replied. "You're going to have one more night alone. Now go. Get outta here. Tomorrow Katie will be all yours."

Sawyer and Kate both let out chuckles and decide not to fight with Jack on it. They walked back to their room. Kate laid down in bed quickly and Sawyer followed her. He touched her face and smiled.

"K-k-k-Katie," he began.

"My dad used to sing that to me," she stated.

"Yeah I know," he replied. "You've told me that a few times."

"I didn't know that you had such a great singing voice," she smiled.

"Don't make fun of me," he half whined. "Go to sleep."

Kate closed her eyes and kissed him.

The next morning everyone met at the airport. They were boarding the plane. Kate got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She didn't want to fly that day. She tried to tell herself to shut up and calm down, but she wasn't calming down at all. Her legs were shaking and so were her hands. Sawyer took her by the hand and kissed it. She smiled softly at him and nodded.

As the plane hit the first air pocket of turbulance Kate's eyes went wide. Sawyer squeezed her hand and smiled.

"It's fine Freckles," he stated.

**A/N: OK I hope you guys liked this longer chapter. Please review!**


	39. Chapter 39

The plane hit more turbulence and Kate continued to grab at Sawyer. She was awake for the entire thing. So was Sawyer. They heard the back of the plane break off. Sawyer looked back and then looked at Kate. Kate refused to look back. Her eyes were closed, but she was crying, so Sawyer knew that she didn't pass out. Jack, who was only a few rows in front of them was slumped in his seat. He figured that he had passed out. 

Kate stood up out of her seat and went running into the jungle. Sawyer started to stop her but she didn't listen to him. He followed her as quickly as he could, but he was completley disoriented. He had no idea what was going on.

"Kate!" he yelled. "What are you doing?"

"I have to find her!" she screamed back. "My-Katie. We have to find her. She's-we have to find her."

Sawyer nodded and they both walked through the jungle. They couldn't find any sign anywhere. Sawyer looked at Kate sadly and caught her just before she fell into his arms. She sobbed heavily and he picked her up. He walked with her back to the beach. When he got there Shannon ran toward them. She looked at Kate in concern.

"Is she ok?" Shannon asked.

"We can't find Katie," he mumbled. Kate could hear crying. She leapt out of Sawyer's arms.

"I hear her," she whispered. She walked in the opposite direction. Sawyer followed her and then he could hear the crying too. They found Katie safely in her carseat. She didn't look like she had a scratch on her. Kate rushed toward her and began to unbuckle the carseat.

"Wait," Sawyer said stopping her. "Maybe we should go get Jack. What if she has-I dunno, some enternal thing?"

"We're gonna be screwed anyway," Kate sighed. "I'm picking up my baby."

Sawyer nodded slowly and wached as Kate picked the baby up. She shhed the baby, but was crying herself. Sawyer sighed and took the baby from Kate. She protested, but he insisted.

"Kate, she's not going to calm down if you're sobbing," he said quietly.

"I think I have a little bit of a right to be upset!" she exclaimed.

"Of course you do," he answered. "I'm sorry. I just-why do we keep being able to be happy, but it only seems to last a few days and then something horrible happens again."

"I don't know," she shook her head. Katie was now quiet and was looking up at Sawyer. She was reaching for his face. He looked down at her and kissed her hand.

"It's ok Katie," he said quietly.

Kate and Sawyer walked back to where the plane had crashed. Sawyer saw Jack first. He tried to hide Kate from seeing it, but it was too late. Jack had been crushed by part of the plane.

"No!" she screamed.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "Kate. Kate. Freckles...we're here."

Kate opened her eyes and was still on the plane. She noticed that her ears were completely plugged. Sawyer's voice was muffled. She felt like she had water in her ears.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "We're home. We gotta take the little one back home."

Kate could hear Katie crying from the landing. She knew that Katie's ears were hurting her. Sawyer reached over and took Katie from Jack who was handing her over to them.

"I had this dream," she whispered. "The plane crashed. Jack-Jack was dead."

"Well the plane didn't crash darlin'," he told her. "We're right here. We're back in California. And now it's time to go home. Get the hell off this plane."

Kate took a deep breath and smiled.

That night Kate and Sawyer were back at their house. Katie was in her room sleeping soundly. Kate was watching as Sawyer slept. She reached over and touched his lips. She ran her fingers down his face. He flinched slightly and then opened his eyes.

"What are you doin'?" he mumbled.

"Waking you up," she answered. "I love you. I'm so scared."

"Scared?" he asked. "What are you scared of?"

"Losing you and Katie," she replied. "I mean-I'm afriad that you're going to leave me or that Katie is gonna die. I just-I don't know how to stop it. I haven't told you about it because this week was supposed to be our honeymoon. It was supposed to be happy. I didn't want to bring it up."

"I would have to be a complete loser if I ever left you," he replied. "Am I a loser? Would you have married a loser? I don't think so."

"No," she forced a small smile.

"And as for Katie," he began. "Katie is healthy and happy, and she's not going anywhere either."

"Do you want more kids?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Are you tryin' to tell me something?"

"Well considering we haven't had sex since Katie was born, that would be pretty impossible," she smiled. "I just wondered. I want a little boy. A little blonde baby with dimples like his daddy."

"Can we talk about having a baby, once this one is sleeping through the night?" he asked as Katie started crying over the baby monitor. Kate smirked and nodded.

"Do you wanna go get her?" she asked. He rolled his eyes but got out of bed and went to get the baby. When he didn't come back right away Kate stood up and went to see what he was doing. She walked into Katie's room and Sawyer was sitting in the rocking chair. His eyes were closing. Kate wished that she could fall asleep as quickly as Sawyer does. He had only been gone for 5 minutes and was already falling to sleep. He was like a baby. Kate took the baby from him and put her in the crib. She sat down on his lap.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Get up. We gotta go sleep ok?"

"Ok," he mumbled. She stood up and pulled Sawyer into a standing position. She took him by the hand and they walked back into their bedroom. Kate pushed Sawyer on the bed and got on top of him.

"What are you doin'?" he asked quietly.

"What does it look like?" she questioned back. She kissed him softly. He kissed her back and pulled her into a hug. He rolled them over and started to kiss her lips and neck.

"It's been about 6 weeks now," she told him.

"Oh," he said with his eyebrows raised. "I completely forgot."

"Liar," she shook her head.

He kissed her again and pulled her shirt up over her head. They became completely emersed in each other, tuning out all other outside noises. Kate was laying in Sawyer's arms. She kissed his chest and lips. The phone rang, which surprised them both. Kate looked over at the clock. It was almost 2:30 in the morning. She reached over and picked the phone up.

"Hello?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"Kate," Jack said. He sounded distant. "I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No," she replied. "What's up? It's almost 2:30 in the morning."

"I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what else to do."

"What happened?" she asked.

"Juliet's pregnant," he told her.

"What?" she qeustioned. "I didn't even know you were still seeing her."

"Well," he began. "I've been seeing her on and off for the past 3 months. Well-I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Do you know that the baby is yours?" she asked.

"Juliet says yes," he responded.

"Well, can you trust that?" she inquired. "I mean I just-I don't know what to tell you Jack. Can't we just talk in the morning. I mean when we've both had some sleep."

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me," he told her.

"Jack-" she started.

"I just wanted to tell you first...You're the first to know," he replied. The line went dead and Kate stared at the phone. She looked at Sawyer and sighed deeply.

"Um," she began, not really knowing what she was going to say. "Jack...Juliet is pregnant, and she says that Jack is the father.

"Whoa," he said, with his eyes going wider. "Congrats to Jack-o."

"He's gonna ask he to marry him," she continued. "He's completely nuts."

"Don't you think that's a good thing?" he asked. "I mean-he's gonna step up and take care of his kid."

"Sawyer, he doesn't love her," she stated. "He doesn't even know for sure that the baby is his. I mean what if Jack isn't the father?"

"Then he'll probably still be the hero and take care of the kid," he answered.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I just don't think that he's ready for that. He's not ready to be married and have a family."

"We were," he replied.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But we are in love and we wanted Katie. I don't think that Juliet wants to have a baby. And I really don't think that Jack is ready to be a dad. Even if he doesn't admit it-he's more damaged than either of us."

"You sure about that?" he asked. "I mean come on Kate. Look at what your dad did to you."

"I don't know what's worse Sawyer," she started. "Having a dad pay too much attention to you, or not even notice that you're there."

"Why don't we just go to bed?" he asked. "We'll talk to Jack tomorrow."

"Ok," she whispered. "Goodnight."

The next day Kate got up early because she heard Katie crying. Sawyer mumbled something and turned over. She got out of the bed and went into the nursery. Kate picked her up and rocked her gently. She heard the door bell ring and went to the door still holding Katie. When she opened the door Jack was standing in front of her.

"Kate," he began quietly.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Juliet said no to the proposal?"

"No," he shook his head. "She's not pregnant Kate."

"What are you talking about?" she stated.

"Well if she is I'm not the father," he replied.

"What is going on Jack?" she questioned.

"Juliet and I haven't even had sex," he responded. "I just don't want to lose her. I want to marry her."

"What?" she asked.

"I love her," he replied. "I will never love her as much as I love you, but I love her. I want to be with her."

"Do you really think that marrying her right now is the answer?" she asked. "I mean come on. Give it time. Date her for a few months...or years."

"You and Sawyer didn't wait," he mumbled. "You knew right away that you loved each other. What makes it any different?"

"Because, me and Sawyer were together," she answered. "We were together for a steady...well I know it was only like 5 months, but still. We fell in love quickly. And we're still in love."

"You don't think that I know that I love Juliet?" he asked.

"Not if you keep breaking up and getting back together," she sighed. "Jack, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Then why did you hurt me?" he questioned.

"Jack," she shook her head. "That's not fair. You know that I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't you want to see me happy? You know how much Sawyer means to me. And we have Katie now too. I just don't get this. You were so amazing this week. You planned an aniversary party for us. All of our friends-I mean I really thought that you had finally become ok with us."

"I just-I miss our friendship too," he told her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But you were there for me when I was going into labor. I mean Jack we're still friends. We'll be friends forever."

"You're right Kate," he answered. "I'm sorry. I just want to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too," she replied. "But you can find happiness without me. I mean we can be best friends forever Jack...you're going to be able to find happiness. And if marrying Juliet will do that, then ok. I'll support you. I'll be your bridesmaid or do whatever else you want me to do."

"Ok," he nodded. "You're right. It would be too quick."

"Why did you tell me she was pregnant?" she asked.

"Because I thought maybe if she was pregnant, you would be ok with me marrying her," he shrugged.

"Jack, what ever you do with your life...it's really not anything for me to say to you," she told him. "It's your life...and since we're not married I can't exactly tell you want to do."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I guess you're right. Thanks for the talk."

"Anytime," she replied. Sawyer walked into the room and sat down next to Kate. Jack started to stand up.

"Don't leave on my account," he shrugged. "Don't worry about me. I won't bother you."

"I'm done talking to her now," Jack said. "Thanks for listening Kate."

"Yeah," she nodded. She watched Jack leave and looked over at Sawyer.

"I feel really bad," she said. "I mean...he's really lonely."

"Well that ain't your fault," he stated.

"Yeah, it kind of is," she answered.

"No it's not," he replied sternly. "You can't help who you fall in love with. And what can I say...I'm irresistible."

"Yeah...you really are," she smiled.

**3 weeks later**

Sawyer had gone back to work, so Kate was spending the days at home alone with the baby. Jack was still in classes all day pretty much every day, so Kate hadn't seen much of him.

Kate was sitting on the floor trying to help Katie sit up on her own, but it wasn't really working. Katie started to fuss and move around in Kate's arms. She was trying to get away from Kate's hands. Kate looked at her somewhat confused.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked, knowing that Katie wasn't going to answer. Kate touched her head and noticed that Katie was acceptionally warm. Kate picked the baby up and bounced her softly. She put her hand on Katie's head again.

"Ok," she whispered. "I'm gonna take your temperature, ok baby."

She stood up and carried Katie into the bedroom. She quickly took the baby's temperature and looked down at the thermometer. It was 102. Kate took a deep breath and walked back into the living room. She went to the kitchen to get a cool washcloth. She put the washcloth against Katie's forehead, but it didn't seem to help. Katie began to cry harder. Kate didn't know what else to do so she called Sawyer at work. Sawyer couldn't come to the phone and the new manager was a jerk and treated Kate like crap.

"My baby is sick!" Kate exclaimed. "Tell Sawyer right now you jerk, or I'm gonna come down there and-well I haven't gotten that far yet...but you better at least tell him that the baby is sick or he's gonna be really pissed."

"I will tell him Kate, but I can't let him just leave work. Kids get sick," he replied.

"She's not a kid," Kate argued. "She's a baby. She's only a couple months old and she's never really been sick."

"Well then call the doctor," the manager responded. "I don't think that Sawyer is a doctor so there really isn't much he can do anyway."

Kate hung up the phone and let out an exasperated scoff. She picked up the phone again and called the Shephard's house.

"Hello?" an unfamiliar voice answered.

"Um, hi...is Jack or Margo there?" Kate asked.

"Kate?" the voice said.

"Yeah," Kate replied. "Who is this?"

"It's Juliet," she chuckled. "What did you need? Jack?"

"Is he there?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, hold on," Juliet stated. Kate told Jack about Katie and he told her that he was going to be over right away. Jack came into the house and looked down at Kate who looked helpless. Katie was now crying harder than ever. Jack bent down and picked the baby up.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well she felt warm and she was kind of fussing a little bit," Kate answered. "So I put a cold compress on her forehead, but that only seemed to make it worse. And she's been getting warmer by the minute."

"Ok," Jack statted. "Alright. Lemme see."

He began to do a quick examination. Kate could tell that he was already learning more about what he was doing. She still knew that he really didn't know what he was doing, but he definitely knew more than Kate knew.

"Ok, we should probably take her to the hospital," Jack sighed. "I know you're freaked...but it's gonna be ok Kate. The Ford family-they're all fighters. With parents like you and Sawyer...I know Katie will be ok."

"Thanks Jack," she whispered. "I hope you're right."

**A/N: Ok, so I was totally going to have the plane be crashed and have the fic be set on the island, but then I decided not to do that. I am kind of running out of ideas, so I'm gonna really try to update soon. Please R & R!**


	40. Chapter 40

Kate was sitting in the waiting room with Jack. Sawyer wasn't there yet, but she called his work again to tell them that Katie was in the hospital. She didn't look at Jack, or even move. She wasn't even shaking. She was just sitting there and staring into space. Jack put a hand on her shoulder, and she still didn't move. Sawyer walked through the door quickly. Kate looked up and saw him. She stood up and ran toward him. 

He opened his arms and she practically fell into him. She sunk to the floor, and he went with her. He shushed her and held her tightly.

"I didn't think that you were gonna come," she sobbed.

"Well, I'm here...I think I'm fired, but I'm here," he whispered.

"Why are you fired?" she questioned.

"When I found out that, that jerk Mike kept the fact that you and Katie were here...I sort of punched him in the face," he stated. "I'm sorry."

"You punched your boss in the face?" she asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. He looked down, in ashamed of himself. Kate smiled at him and re-wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him softly and chuckled.

"I'm glad," she told him. "I mean...we'll definitely have to do something else for money, but I didn't like that job for you anyway. You were never here and since Barry quit, your new boss scheduled you for like every shift ever."

"I know," he nodded. "But you have to admit that we kind of needed it. I mean we have no money. Katie is expensive...and now that we're in the hospital. What the hell are we going to do for the medical bills? I'm fired for sure. No more medical coverage."

"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know what we'll do."

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the nurse asked. Kate stood up quickly and wiped her cheeks off. Sawyer walked with her over to where the nurse was standing.

"How is she?" Kate asked quietly.

"She's alright," the nurse responded. "You can come in and see her now."

"What's wrong with her?" Sawyer asked, seeing that Kate was about to ask it, and maybe in not in such a calm way."

"She's just got a very high fever. When babies get fevers this high it's always a scary thing because they can't tell us how they're feeling. We're pretty sure it's just some sort of virus. We'll keep her here over night for observation, but she'll probably be able to go home tomorrow."

"Ok," Kate nodded. Sawyer put his arm through Kate's and they walked into the room where Katie was. They walked over to the crib. Katie was sleeping soundly. She didn't look scared or uncomfortable. Kate walked over to her and went to pick her up.

"Wait," the nurse stated. "You need to let her rest. Don't move her around a lot."

"I'm picking my daughter up right now," Kate responded back. "I don't care what the rules are. I haven't been able to see her for over 2 hours...and you said that all that was wrong with her was a little fever? Why? I don't get it. If all it is, is a fever why did it take you 2 hours to examine her?"

Sawyer put an arm around Kate and kissed her temple.

"Shh," he said. "It's alright. We see how that she's ok...that's all that matters."

"No!" she exclaimed, pushing Sawyer off of her. She reached down and picked the baby up. Katie woke up and then looked up at Kate. When she saw Kate she started to cry. Kate looked down at her and rocked her slowly.

"It's ok," Kate whispered. "Momma's here."

"Kate!" Claire exclaimed.

"Claire?" Kate asked. "What are you doing here? Where's Aaron? Oh my god is he ok? Is he sick too?"

"Kate," Claire and Sawyer both said in unison.

"No," Claire shook her head. "Aaron is fine. He's outside with Jack and Charlie. I came when I heard. I called Jack to see if he wanted to hang out with us...you were going to be my next call...anyway for some reason Juliet is now the Shephard's personal secretary because she answered the phone and told me that everyone was here, at the hospital. Is Katie ok?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded still clinging on for dear life to the baby in her arms. "She's just got to stay here over night for observation...but I guess she's ok. That's what they said anyway. But I don't really trust doctors anymore."

"Charlie and I-" Claire began. "We were having a party because..well..."

She held out her hand silently and showed Kate and Sawyer a ring. It was rather unconventional. It was a rather large ring with the letters DS on it. Kate looked at it somewhat confused.

"You're engaged?" she asked. "And this is what Charlie gave you?"

"It's a family heirloom," Claire responded. "It's not really my style, but I love it because...well ok I don't really love it, but it's what he could give me. He's still trying to hold a stable job."

"Well Charlie and I should talk," Sawyer mumbled. "Here Freckles, gimme the baby."

"No," she stated rather rudely. "She's mine."

"Aren't you being a little possessive there?" he asked. "She's not just yours. Besides, I'm just as worried as you are...and I probabaly just got fired because of her."

"James!" she exclaimed. "She's just a baby. It's not her fault!"

"I know," he scoffed. "Of course it's not her fault. It's my own damn fault for punching the jackass in the face."

"How about we just blame him then?" she asked. "I mean it is his fault for not telling you that Katie was in the hospital. He's the one that is to blame."

"I agree," Claire nodded. "And...what are you two talking about?"

"I punched my boss in the face because he kept the fact that Katie was sick from me," Sawyer explained. "I'm pretty sure that means I'm fired. I hated it anyway. My boss was a jerk."

"How are we gonna pay for this?" Kate whispered. She held the baby closer.

"Kate, don't worry about that," Jack replied coming into the room. He held out his hand for her to take. She took it carefully and squeezed his hand.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Well I'm going to-" Jack began.

"No you're not," she shook her head. "No way Jack. It's too much."

"You're right," he said stepping toward her. "But Katie is worth it. Come on Kate...lemme just take care of you guys...just this once. No strings attached-except maybe saint hood."

"Well I've always wanted to call you saint Jack," Sawyer responded. He took the baby from Kate, noticing that her arms were beginning to get looser.

"Jack," she whispered. "I can't take that money from you."

"It's not gonna be that much anyway," he replied. "When I go tell them that Christian Shephard was my father...they will be wanting to pay me."

Sawyer was now sitting in a chair holding the baby. Claire sat down next to him and looked down at the baby too.

"She's so cute," Claire replied. "I mean look at that little face."

"How's Aaron doin'?" he asked.

"He's fine," she responded. "I thought he would be sleeping through the night by now. He's 6 months old. I thought I'd actually have sleep."

"Well according to some book that Margo bought for us a baby can be up to 2 years before they're consistently sleeping through the night."

"Please don't tell me that," Claire groaned.

"It's alright mamacita," he chuckled. "I'm sure Chuckie is helpin' you out."

"Yeah," she nodded. "But to tell you the truth I kind of miss my old room, back at your house."

"It's still free," Kate replied, overhearing the conversation.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean thanks, but I think Charlie and Aaron really like where we're living right now."

"Jack," Kate said. "Why don't you move in? I mean you'd still be right next door to your mom, but then you could see me and Katie even more."

"That's nice Kate," he smiled. "But I don't want to leave my mom all alone. I mean she claims not to need me there, but I'd feel guilty...she'll be all by herself...and I think as much as she would hate to admit it she really misses my dad...even though he was never there to begin with. He was to a certain extent."

That night Kate was sleeping in a chair next to Katie's crib. The hospital would only allow one parent to stay the night. Sawyer knew that Kate needed to stay. He also knew that she would never agree to go home anyway. He laid in the bed by himself and tossed and turned. Kate did the same. At one point she nearly fell out of the chair that she had to sleep in. At around 5:00 in the morning Kate woke up to Katie screaming. She stood up before she was even fully awake.

"Katie," Kate whispered.

"She's fine," a nurse stated. "We just had to do some more tests on her. She'll be-"

Kate noticed that Katie had stopped crying. At first she thought that it was a good thing, but then she noticed that Katie wasn't making any noise at all.

"Nurse?" one of the other people in a lab coat asked. "She's not breathing."

"What?!" Kate exclaimed. "Well then help her! Why are you just standing there?!"

The group of doctors and nurses and interns quickly left the room, bringing Katie with them. Kate watched them leave and practically fainted. She sat down quickly and reached for the telephone. She dialed home quickly.

"Hello?" Sawyer mumbled into the phone.

"Sawyer," Kate sobbed.

"I'm coming," he stated quickly, and hung up the phone before Kate could say anything else. When Sawyer arrived at the hospital Kate was still sitting in the chair in Katie's room. She was waiting for someone to come tell her what was going on. Sawyer knelt in front of Kate and pulled her hands down from her face. He didn't have to say anything, and neither did she. He simply wrapped his arms around her and she did the same. Neither of them even cried. They just sat there holding each other and comforting each other silently.

"What are you two doing in here?" a voice asked. Kate and Sawyer looked up at the voice. It was a doctor that Kate and Sawyer had never seen.

"Our baby wasn't breathing!" Kate exclaimed. "She was taken back to be fixed or whatever, and I didn't really feel like leaving the room...now where the hell is she?"

"She stopped breathing?" Sawyer whispered.

"Is it Katie Ford?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Kate said standing up. "How is she? Is she alright?"

"She's-well she's-" the doctor kept starting and stopping. It was really starting to agrevate Sawyer, but he tried to stay quiet and let the doctor talk. "She's in serious condition. We think that she might have a heart condition."

"Oh my God," Kate whispered.

"We're going to test a new medication, she's in the testing room right now...we have all the best people working on her...we're going to do everything that we can to figure out what exactly is wrong with your daughter."

Kate sunk back into the chair and Sawyer sat down next to her. He put his arm around her and she turned toward him. She looked up at him and took a deep breath.

"She's gonna die," she whispered. "Just like I've been dreaming. She's going to die Sawyer."

"Hey," he said. "No she is not. We're not gonna let that happen. It's gonna be ok Kate. She's got Ford and Austen in her and that means that she's gotta have a screwed up life...not just a screwed up couple months."

"You're not helping," she frowned.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just want everything to be ok...maybe me saying it is trying to make it true."

"She's not gonna make it Sawyer," she shook her head. "I can just feel it. I can feel this rock sitting in my stomach...and I know what it means."

"Shh," he said. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. She and Sawyer sat there for 2 hours, and finally another different doctor came in the room. He was wheeling a child into the room who looked like she was about 4. They stood up and got out of his way.

"Can I help you folks?" he asked.

"We're just waiting for our baby," Kate replied quietly.

"So why aren't you in the waiting room?" he questioned. "I hate to say this, but you're going to have to leave. The parents of this little girl are gonna wanna come in here and be with her."

"What happened to her?" Sawyer asked.

"She had heart surgery," the doctor answered non-chalantly like it was something that he saw every day. Kate realized it probably was. She and Sawyer left the room and went into the waiting room. They saw a couple being talked to in a private room. Sawyer over heard the doctor.

"He had a heart attack during the opperation," he stated. "We're so sorry, but we couldn't save him."

"He's only 2!" the mother screamed. Sawyer was hoping that Kate had only heard the mother scream, and not the part that the doctor said.

"That's gonna be us," she whispered.

"Kate stop it," he stated firmly. "I know you're scared. I am too. I'm terrified. But I'm not going to sit here and think the worst of it. We have to be positive for Katie's sake ok?"

"You're right," she nodded. "I'm sorry."

As they sat waiting there were 2 different doctors that came out to talk to different people. Kate was starting to get anxious. Sawyer wasn't sure he liked seeing her that way, but it was better than being completely emotionless. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. She looked at him, and was crying. He sighed softly and wiped her cheeks off.

"What's gonna happen if she doesn't make it?" Kate said quietly.

"It's not an option," he replied. "We've been though enough for a lifetime Freckles. I'm gonna have a bone to pick with God if Katie doesn't make it."

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the nurse from earlier in the day asked. Sawyer nodded but didn't move his arms from around Kate. Kate looked up and ended up pushing Sawyer's arms from around her.

"How's Katie?" Sawyer asked.

"She's ok," the nurse stated softly.

"That isn't very convincing," Kate mumbled.

"She's still in the ICU, but she will be there for a couple days, but then she'll be moved and will be alright."

"There's something you ain't tellling us?" Sawyer said...it was more of an accusation than a question.

"Now don't be alarmed," she began.

"That'll calm us down," Kate interrupted. "Saying that is only going to make us more alarmed so freaking tell us right now."

"Your daughter's heart went into an irregular heart beat," she continued. "We had to shock her heart, but she's ok. She's heavily sedated right now so when you go in there she won't respond if you try and wake her up...that's normal."

"It's normal for our daughter to have an irregular heart beat?" Sawyer asked. "Isn't the definition of irregular...um, not normal?"

"Sir, you didn't hear me," the nurse stated. "She's ok now. Of course the irregular heartbeat was scary for a minute, but she's ok now. She'll be ok."

"Can we go see her?" Kate asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Of course you can...but like I said already, she'll be completely out of it. She's not going to respond to you and you're not going to be able to pick her up...she's hooked up to machines, and it's gonna be a little scary."

"She'll hear me," Kate stated confidently. "She knows my voice and she'll be happy to hear it."

She and Sawyer followed the nurse into the room. Katie was hooked up to machines just like the nurse said. She was breathing on her own which made Kate and Sawyer happy. Sawyer held Kate's hand and they looked down at the baby.

"Hey Katie," Kate choked out. "Mommy and daddy are here."

She reached down and touched Katie on the hand. She moved slightly and started opening her eyes.

"I told you that she would recognize my voice," Kate said, smiling up at Sawyer. Sawyer kissed her and smiled back

"I never doubted that Freckles," he replied

**A/N: OK...not a lot happened in this chap. I hope that you all liked it. Please please review!**


	41. Chapter 41

That night Sawyer refused to leave the hospital. Kate wasn't sleeping, at all, she was too afraid to fall asleep. She was sure something else was going to happen to Katie. Sawyer decided to sit by Kate the entire night. At one point Sawyer had fallen asleep, but Kate moved from her position and woke him up again. She apologized quietly to him. He shook his head and told her not to worry about it. 

"Freckles, I think you should get some sleep," he said.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not sleeping until we have Katie home...safe and home. What if I fall asleep, and while I'm sleeping something happens?"

"Well then you'll be woken up," he replied. "I'll stay awake while you sleep."

"No," she repeated. "I can't-Sawyer...I just can't."

"Ok," he whispered. "It's ok."

"We're in the hospital with our 2 month old Sawyer," she told him. "How is that ok?"

"I know," he nodded. "I know."

"I never knew that I could love anyone so much," she continued. "But if she dies now...I really don't know what I'll do. There will be no point to anything anymore."

"Kate," he started.

"Don't," she sighed. "I know I'm being dumb. I just have to deal with this right now."

"Ok," he nodded. "But I'm gonna stay awake with you."

"You can go to sleep Sawyer," she replied.

"I don't want to," he answered.

"You're so damn stubborn," she sighed.

"Look at you," he scoffed. "If anyone is stubborn it's you. And plus...I was sleeping if you recall and you woke me up."

"I said I was sorry abou that," she responded.

"I know," he chuckled. "I just don't want you to have to be in this alone. So hold my hand dammit and we're gonna stay up and watch our baby sleep."

"She's so tiny and helpless," Kate whispered.

"Nah," Sawyer shrugged. "She's tough. The toughest baby I know."

Katie stayed in the hospital for 5 days. Which meant that Kate didn't leave the hospital, except to take a shower...and even then she didn't really want to. Sawyer stayed most of the time too, but he spent the time sitting in the chair reading the classifieds. Kate told him not to worry about it, but that just made him look harder. The only thing he ever wanted was to be able to take care of his girls, and now that he couldn't do that, he felt extremely guilty. Kate had left the room to go to the bathroom. Sawyer was half reading the newspaper for a job, and half watching Katie in the crib.

"Sawyer, man?" a voice stated. Sawyer looked up at the sound of his name. It was his boss, Mike.

"Hey," Sawyer stated, somewhat confused. "What are you doing' here?"

"Is your brother Jack Shephard?" he asked.

"Um," Sawyer began. "Well...kind of I guess."

"Well he came in to see me and told me that your daughter is pretty sick," Mike continued. "He said if I didn't let you have at least a couple weeks paid vacation and then let you come back to your job I would regret ever taking the job. He seemed pretty pissed."

"Ok," Sawyer said, still confused.

"So your job is yours...and take as much time as you want. And don't worry about the hospital bills," he replied. "You still got your job. And believe me...if the situation were reversed I would have done a lot worse than just punch me in the jaw."

Sawyer noticed that Mike's jaw was still pretty swollen...he didn't know whether to feel proud or guilty.

"Anyway...I hope the baby is ok."

"She's alright," Sawyer mumbled. "She's right there...sleepin' like an angel."

Mike walked over to the crib and looked in on Katie. He stood back up and looked at Sawyer with a smile

"She's precious," he said. "Sorry man. I know how hard this is. I have a kid too...if anything ever happened to him...well I wouldn't know about it cuz he's living in, well hell if I know...seems like his mom's movin' every year. Anyway I get it. Have a good vacation...and don't even think about coming back for at least 2 weeks."

"Ok," he smiled. "Thanks Mikey."

"I told ya...stop callin' me that," Mike responded.

"Gotcha boss man. See ya later."

Mike disappeared through the door, and held the door open for Kate as she walked back into the room. She looked at Sawyer and wrinkled her forehead.

"That was Mike," he chuckled. "I still got a job...this is all paid for...and he's givin' me two weeks to spend with you and Katie."

She smiled at him and sat down on his lap. She kissed him softly and then turned her head toward Katie.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Where's Katie?" she asked.

"Right-" Sawyer began, and then realized that Katie wasn't there. It was a different baby entirely. Kate and Sawyer both quickly stood up and left the room. Kate ran toward the information desk.

"Where is she?!" Kate screamed and reached her arm back. Sawyer knew that her arms were about to go toward the receptionist. He grabbed on to one which was enough to hold her back.

"Freckles," he whispered. "We will find her. I promise."

"Where is our daughter!" Kate yelled again.

"Who is your daughter ma'am," the receptionist said calmly, but Sawyer could hear that she was scared and really didn't know how else to react to Kate.

"Katie Ford!" Kate exclaimed. "She's been here for 5 days. We've been here for 5 days, you don't recognize us!"

"Yes," the woman nodded. "I recognize you, but we see a lot of people...I don't know everyone by name and face. I'm sorry. But Katie Ford I remember. Beautiful brown hair and blue eyes?"

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "Can you tell us where she could possibly be?"

"Sawyer dammit!" Kate yelled. "If you hadn't been reading that damn paper you would have noticed!"

"Hey, let's not play the blame game," Sawyer sighed. "Look...we're gonna figure out where she is."

"That's right," the receptionist replied. "Let me page the doctor ok?"

The receptionist picked up the phone and spoke into it. Her voice filled the halls and echoed.

"Dr. Grant to Pediactric ICU."

The receptionist smiled up at them, but in a way that told them both that she was sorry for any mix up. Sawyer lead Kate over to the near by chairs and sat her down. She started breathing heavily. She was breathing deeply but not catching her breath. He looked at her, not really knowing exactly what was happening.

"Kate, breathe," he said quietly.

"I'm trying," she responded. "I can't. I can't catch my breath."

The receptionist came over and squatted in front of her.

"Kate," she started. "That's your name right?"

"Yes," Kate answered, still not breathing properly.

"Ok, Kate, you're having a panic attack," she responded. "Just breathe in deep. The doctor is coming right now, and we can tell you where your daughter is. Ok? Just breathe."

Kate started trying to breathe, but it still wasn't working.

"Breathe through your nose and out your mouth ok?" the receptionist continued. "And think about how you're going to see your daughter any minute, and she's gonna be able to go home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Kate asked, calming down a little bit.

"Tomorrow," she nodded.

"It's gonna be ok, I promise," she told her.

"Thanks," Sawyer mumbled. "Uh...how did you know? How did you know what to do?"

"I get panic attacks all the time," she said. "And most of the time about really dumb things...never anything this important."

Kate started calming down more and she was beginning to breath more normally. Sawyer thanked the receptionist again, silently and continued to look at Kate. They both saw Dr. Grant walking toward them quickly. Kate and Sawyer both stood up and looked at him.

"What's up?" he asked. "Is something going on with Katie?"

"Yeah, she's gone," Sawyer answered.

"What do you mean she's gone?" he asked.

"Did you take her to do some tests or something, because our baby isn't in her room."

Dr. Grant walked quickly into the room. Kate and Sawyer followed quickly behind. When they arrived at the room he was standing in the doorway and then looked back at them.

"Katie is right there," he told them.

"What?" Kate asked. She pushed passed the doctor and rushed toward the crib. Sawyer followed her. There was a nurse standing in the room.

"Did you take our baby?" Kate asked. "I mean I don't mean to sound accusing, but did you take the baby?"

"No," she shrugged. "She's been here the whole time. I think both of you are just tired and-"

"No," Kate interrupted. "She was gone. She was not there."

"Kate," Sawyer started. "She was there...I mean. Mike he came in and he saw her. I looked up and saw her. When you came into the room...you must have psyched me out-she was there. It was her that we saw."

"It didn't look like her," she said quietly.

"I agree. It was definitely weird...but she had to have still been there."

Kate walked toward the crib and picked up the baby. She sat down in the chair and ran her hands across Katie's head. She rocked back and forth. Sawyer sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She then stood back up and sighed deeply.

"I'm taking my daughter home," she said. "We've been here for long enough. She's been poked and prodded long enough."

"Mrs. Ford we need to keep her one more day. You can go home tomrrow. I promise," the doctor stated.

"No," Kate shook her head. "In fact, hell no. I'm leaving right now...and I'm taking Katie with me. If you want to call security, go ahead...but we'll already be gone."

Kate pushed past the doctor and the nurse. Sawyer started following her and then took her by the arm.

"Freckles," he started.

"Not you too," she scoffed. "Don't you think our baby deserves to be in her own bed. Sleeping soundly with her toys and her walls?"

"Yeah," Sawyer continued. "Of course. She deserves the best of everything...and you know what that means. You know damn well. We have to stay here just one more night. I know you don't like it...and neither do I...but we have to do whatever is best for Katie. What if something happens tonight...and we aren't here, in the hospital?"

"Sawyer," she stated. "You said that she was going to be fine. _You_ told me she would be fine."

"And she will be darlin'," he continued. "But don't you think it would be better if we just let her stay one more night. We can go first thing in the morning."

"Actually-" the nurse began.

"Do you mind?" Sawyer asked. "It's gonna be fine. We'll go home tomorrow morning."

That night Sawyer stayed till Kate went to sleep. She hadn't been sleeping, but this night Sawyer told the nurses to give Kate a sedative. He felt somewhat guilty about it, but he knew that Kate really needed some sleep and this would be the only way to give it to her. As Kate dozed off Sawyer got up and laid her head on his coat.

"Where are you going?" Kate whispered.

"I ain't goin' no where Kate. I'm just getting you a little more comfortable."

He was about to leave when Katie started to wake up. She was fussing quietly. Sawyer quickly got up and picked her up before Kate woke up any more. She settled down as soon as Sawyer's arms were around her. Sawyer sat back down on the chair and settled Katie in his arms. She looked up at Sawyer and reached for his face. He chuckled at her and took her tiny hand in his. She fell asleep quickly and then he knew that he was stuck. He would have to stay, which didn't bother him too much. After he fell asleep, it wasn't very long before Kate had woken up and taken the baby from his arms. She looked at him sleeping. She thought that he was going to wake up when she took the baby from him, but he shifted slightly in his seat and didn't wake up.

The next morning Kate woke up and the baby was gone. Kate stood up and started running from the room.

"Kate," Sawyer said. "Where are you goin'?"

"Sawyer...Katie is-" she started. "In your arms. Why the hell would you do that to me?"

"I went to change her," he replied. "I'm sorry I freaked you out. You were snoring...You only snore when you're fast asleep...I didn't think that you would wake up."

"Here," she said holding out her arms.

"Aw, I love you too," he stated stepping toward her and giving her a hug.

"Give her to me," she chuckled. He smiled at her too and handed Katie over to Kate. They started walking out of the room and they were stopped by a nurse.

"Ok," she sighed. "You can leave. We just have to do some paperwork. Follow me."

That night when they got home Sawyer and Kate sat on the couch together with the baby. Sawyer was glad to have both of them home. He hadn't been staying at the hospital as uch as Kate had. While they sat Kate kept touching Sawyer's head and face.

"I'm glad that you got to get your job back," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Me too. I just can't believe that Jack-o actually talked to Mike about it. I guess we really are like brothers. You wouldn't do that for anyone except family."

"Yeah," she replied. "You're right."

There was a knock at the door. Sawyer stood up and went to the door first. When he opened it Claire was standing in front of him with tears streaming down her face."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Charlie," she replied. "I found-he's using again. I don't know what to do. He wants to go on the road with his band and I told him no and he freaked out on me. What am I supposed to do?"

"First of all where's baby huey?" Sawyer asked. "I mean did ya leave him in the car or somethin'?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Well go get him," Sawyer stated. "you can stay here tonight. Your old room is still there...it's not a storage room yet."

"Thanks Sawyer," she whispered. Claire went back to the car and then quickly cam back holding Aaron. She sat down on the couch next to them and started talking about Charlie. Even though he was a great father to Aaron, and he was good to her too...she couldn't have the baby or herself around someone who was taking drugs. He told her that it was only a slip up and he would never do it again, but she didn't believe him. She had only been there for 10 minutes when she told the couple that she was tired and would be going to her room to go to sleep. Sawyer and Kate felt sorry for her. They both knew how much Charlie meant to her and the fact that they had already broken up wasn't sitting well with either of them.

"I don't now what to think," Kate stated.

"Me neither Freckles," he responded. "But she can stay here for a while...I mean we can't let her just be alone on this."

"You're right," she nodded. "But maybe she should talk to Charlie tomorrow. We can have him over and we can kind of be there to mediate anything...just in case things get out of hand. I mean I like Charlie, but sometimes I'm not so sure."

The next morning Kate got up and took the baby with her. She was going to visit Charlie. She just wanted to see what was in his mind that would make him hurt Claire that way. When Sawyer woke up there was a note sitting on the pillow next to him.

_I took Katie, don't worry. I'll be back later tonight. I'm going to talk to Charlie. Love you, Freckles_.

Sawyer sighed softly and walked out to the living room. Claire was sitting on the couch watching TV. Aaron was sitting in his baby carrier.

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye," Claire whispered.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "You're leavin'? Where are you goin?"

"You guys don't want some crazy lady staying with you right now," she replied. "I mean Katie just got home from the hospital."

"Yeah, and that didn't stop Kate from taking her to visit Charlie," he said.

"She took-" Claire started. "I told her that he was back on drugs and she took the baby with her."

"She wanted to talk to him," he answered. "She's just a little paranoid to leave the baby. She's afraid if she's away from her for 10 minutes something's gonna happen."

"Even if you're there?" she asked.

"Yeah," he laughed. "I know...she's crazy. But I guess I get it."

"Don't you get worried?" she questioned.

"Of course I do," he responded. "But I'm just not as scared about it as Kate. I think she kind of needed it anyway. And believe me she won't let Charlie even touch Katie if he's messed up."

"I'm gonna go back to Austrialia," she told him.

"You're not serious," he scoffed. "Claire do you really think that's the best idea?"

"You're calling me Claire," she stated. "You must be serious."

"Look," he started. "You don't have anything there. Except maybe Aaron's dad...but even that...I mean come on...just stay here. Why are you gonna just leave? To be alone. You have ao many people here who care about you...I mean your brother especially."

"Really?" she asked. "You want me to stay?"

"Well," he said. "I mean-it don't really-I think that Kate-yeah alright...I guess I'd miss ya a little."

"That's sweet Sawyer," she smiled.

"So come on," he stated. "Stay. We'll kick Charlie out of your appartment and keep him away from you."

"Thanks," she nodded.

Sawyer and Claire spent the next few hours together. Sawyer was beginning to wonder about Kate. Aaron was getting big. In around 4 months Katie would be his size...maybe slightly smaller since she was a girl, but she was growing just as quickly.

"He start talkin' yet?" Sawyer asked.

"Sawyer he's only 6 months old," she laughed. "He won't start talking for at least 3 or 4 months...at least that's what my book told me. It might even be longer. He's growing so fast though."

"Tell me about it," he mumbled. "I felt like it was only yesterday that Katie was born."

Aaron started whining and holding his arms up. Claire started bending down, but Sawyer beat her to it and picked up the baby. He was holding him on his lap. Claire smiled at Sawyer and took him by the hand.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"No prob," he answered.

"Don't you want to know what I'm thanking you for?" she asked.

"Sure," he smirked.

"Being here," she replied. "Showing me that I do have people that will help me."

"Claire, you know that Kate and me...we always are here to help...always have been," he stated with another smile.

She leaned forward and kissed him.

"Oh God," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Kate stated, putting the baby carrier down and crossing her arms. "What's going on?"

**A/N: OK...so the next chapter will be sort of a flashback. It's going to be what happened with Kate and Charlie (don't worry nothing too horrible haha), and then other stuff. Also, Sawyer's boss is Michael...I know that he's supposed to be a construction worker, but this is AU, so whatev. Also the thing with the baby being gone at the beginning of the chapter...that was definitely all in Sawyer and Kate's head...it's not gonna be coming up again. One more thing...my goal for this chapter is to get 5 reviews...so please please review! Thanks!**


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: OK so this is gonna start off with Kate and Claire.**

_Kate talking to Charlie_

She walked up the steps to the apartment building which wasn't easy...she was carrying Katie in her arms and she kept moving around.

"Katie," Kate sighed. "Just sit still for a minute, please."

Of course it didn't help anything and Katie continued to squirm. When Kate arrived at Claire and Charlie's apartment she knocked on the door softly. She waited, and then knocked again. Finally she heard the sound of footsteps. The door opened and Charlie was standing in front of her. He looked like he had, had a really rough night. She was sure that he did.

"Go away Kate," he stated, beginning to shut the door. Kate carefully put her foot in the door and pushed her way into the apartment.

"Charlie," she started. "What happened?"

"Claire is gonna take Aaron back to Austrialia," he responded. "She told me last night. And I know I'm not his father, but I'm the closest thing he's got to it."

"And Aaron loves you," she said. "So does Claire. But come on. What were you thinking? You're back on the drugs?"

"You don't understand," he shook his head.

"Then tell me, so that I do," she replied. "I mean come on. We all want to see you and Claire happy and together. You gave her that family heirloom ring...you love her."

"I do," he nodded. "More than anything. She and Aaron are the only good thing about my whole life."

"So why mess that up?" Kate asked.

"It's hard," he told her. "Haven't you ever tried to stop something that could hurt everyone?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Remember when I was drinking a lot?"

"Not really," he shrugged. "I mean I always heard things the next day at school or whatever...but I didn't really know you when you drank."

"Well, something really awful had to happen before I realized that I had to stop," she said. "I mean it was so horrible, and I wish more than anything that I could go back and change it...but if I did, then Katie wouldn't be here."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I heard...you had a miscarriage right? But if you hadn't, then you would have another baby."

"But it wouldn't be Katie. And I'm so thankful for her. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"What about Sawyer?" Charlie asked, cheering up some and smiling.

"He's close, but he doesn't hold anything to Katie."

Kate stayed with Charlie for a while longer. They didn't talk about drugs at all. They just talked and kept the topic away from drugs. Kate sighed softly and began to stand up.

"You're not leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Charlie, I have to. Sawyer is waiting for me. He's probably wondering where we are...I just left a note, saying that I took Katie with me."

"You mean Sawyer's at home?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Why did you bring Katie then?" he asked.

"I didn't want to be away from her," she shrugged. "I'll talk to you soon. In fact...why don't you come over to my house tonight and we can all sit down and talk. I know that Claire loves you...otherwise she wouldn't have ended up on our doorstep in tears."

"Thanks Kate," he mumbled.

As she walked up the front steps and opened the door she could hear Claire and Sawyer talking.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"No prob," he replied.

"Don't you want to know what I'm thanking you for?" she asked.

"Sure," he stated.

"Being here," she responded. "Showing me that I do have people that will help me."

"Claire, you know that Kate and me...we always are here to help...always have been."

Kate walked into the living room. She was going to tell Claire that Sawyer was right. She would always do anything she could to help her friends. When she saw Claire kiss Sawyer she almost dropped the baby carrier.

"Oh God," Claire whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "What's going on?"

She started leaving the room and going down the hall. Sawyer got up quickly, and nearly dropped Aaron off his lap. He set Aaron on the couch next to Claire and ran after Kate.

"Kate stop," he said.

"No," she shook her head. "You really don't want me to stay out here. I'm gonna beat her down."

"Kate," he whispered. "Stop. It's gonna-it didn't mean...she's just really upset."

"So that gives her a right to kiss you?" Kate asked crossing her arms. "You know what...maybe I will talk to her."

"Freckles," he sighed, following her again.

"What gives you the right?" Kate asked. "He is mine."

"I know," Claire nodded. She looked like she was going to cry, but she seemed to be staying brave and wasn't crying. "He was just being really nice. We were really getting along. It was really the first time we had actually had a real conversation. I just-he made me want to kiss him."

"Oh no," Kate shook her head. "You are not going to blame _you_ kissing _him_, on Sawyer. You know that he's married. Why would you kiss him?"

"I don't know," she answered.

"Ok," Sawyer interjected. "Ladies to your mutual corners. Kate, she's sorry. I really don't think that she meant anything by it. She's right...we were just talking and getting along, and I said that me and you would always be here for her."

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I heard your conversation...and I was about to come in here and agree with you...what do I see but her kissing you."

"Well at least you know that she was the one doing the kissing," Sawyer shrugged.

"Kate, I'm sorry," Claire replied.

"I was gonna have Charlie come over here tonight so that you guys could talk this thing out," Kate whispered. "But maybe you don't want to work it out...maybe you'd rather have my husband."

Kate walked away from Claire and went down the hall. She slammed the bedroom door, and it seemed to shake the whole house. Aaron started crying, which made Katie start crying too. Sawyer sighed deeply and went over to Katie. He picked her up from her baby carrier and started walking around. Claire picked up Aaron and started shushing him quietly.

"I'll be right back Clara," Sawyer said. She smiled and nodded. Sawyer walked back into the nursery. He set Katie down on the changing table and checked to see if she needed to be changed. She did. He made a face.

"Dang girl," he mumbled, mostly to himself. He changed her diaper and Katie seemed to be happier. He picked her back up and walked out to go toward his and Kate's room. He knocked on the door and then rattle the door knob. The door was locked, which only pissed him off.

"Kate open the door," he stated.

"No!" she yelled. "Go away!"

"Dammit Kate!" he screamed back. Katie started crying again. Sawyer heard Kate coming to the door. She opened the door quickly and tried to take Katie from him. Sawyer stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Calm down," he whispered. He was still holding Katie, and he started to rock her slowly to get her to calm down too.

"Who are you telling to calm down?" Kate asked in nearly a whisper.

"You," he said. "Kate...Claire doesn't want me."

"Well, it's not like I can blame her," Kate sighed, smiling slightly. Sawyer walked toward Kate and put Katie down on the bed. He patted his knees for Kate to sit down. She walked over to him and sat on his lap.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I overreacted."

"Don't worry about it," he replied.

"I love you," she stated. "I just don't want to lose you Sawyer."

"You ain't gonna lose me," he sighed. "I'm yours. Completely."

She kissed him softly and hugged him. Katie started to cry, which made Sawyer let out a loud grumble. Kate smiled and got up off of Sawyer's lap. She picked up the baby and sat down on the bed. Katie was silent almost immediately.

They both stood up and walked into the living room. Claire was sitting on the couch still wrapping her hair around her finger.

"I'm sorry," Kate said, sitting down next to her. "I know-I'm just a little stressed, and when I saw-"

"Hey," Claire interrupted. "If I caught anyone kissing Charlie, the girl would have a broken nose."

"Yeah, well I just didn't get the chance," she chuckled. "It's alright. I mean, I'll be watching you guys a lot closer now, but I forgive you."

Claire smiled. "Thanks. I just don't know what I'm doing any more," she replied. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, I can still call Charlie and have him come over. We can all talk to him," Kate offered.

"I dunno," Claire shrugged. "I have to think about it. I mean, I know that he's sorry or whatever...but it's not like he just smoked pot, or got really drunk...he took herione...he had herione in our house where we have a baby that puts everything in his mouth."

"I know," Kate nodded. "And I totally agree with you...but this is Charlie we're talking about. I really don't think he'd ever do anything to put you guys in danger."

"But he already did Kate," she sighed. "Is it ok if I just stay here for a while? Even just a few days to cool off...let him get clean again. I know it was just once, but with that kind of drug...you never know."

"Well why don't you call him and tell him that's what you're doing?" Kate asked. "I mean I know he doesn't really deserve it, but maybe if you tell him that you're going to think about forgiving him he will be less likely to take the drugs."

"Yeah, well it shouldn't take me to make him stop," she replied. "He should stop on his own and come here if he wants me back. He knows that I'm here."

"Ok," Kate responded. "You can have your room back."

"Thanks Kate," Claire smiled.

That night Kate went into the bedroom and practically fell on the bed from being so tired. She still hadn't had a full nights sleep since the hospital. She sunk into the matress and sighed. Sawyer came into the room and laid down next to her. She rolled toward him and put her arms around him.

"Howdy," Sawyer chuckled.

"Will you just hold me all night?" she asked.

"I'll hold you forever Kate," he answered. "Or untill the baby wakes up and I have to get up with her."

"You won't have to," she shook her head. "I will."

He kissed her softly, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. They both fell asleep quicker than either of them anticipated, but they both needed the sleep too. They had been sleeping for a couple hours when Kate could hear the baby crying. She looked at the clock. It was only 1:00, which was how late she had been staying up lately anyway. She tried to get up, but realized that with the way Sawyer was holding her there would be no way.

"Sawyer," she whispered. She tried nudging him off of her, but he wasn't budging. "Sawyer, get up."

"Hmm," he mumbled, but still didn't move.

"Sawyer, the baby is crying," she stated, trying to get away from him again. Finally his arms loosened enough for her to get up. She went down the hall to Katie's room. When she went inside Katie was sleeping soundly. She looked completely peaceful. Kate looked down at Katie in confusion, and gently touched Katie's forehead with her hand. Katie didn't wake up, but stirred slightly. Kate swore quietly, thinking that she did wake her up.

She walked back out into the hall and heard the crying again. This time it sounded like a baby and an older person crying. Kate walked toward Claire's room and she could hear Aaron and Claire both crying. She knocked softly on the door. She thought she heard Claire whisper 'come in', so she pushed the door open. Sawyer was sitting on Claire's bed holding Claire, while she sobbed on his shoulder. Kate tried not to feel jealous...he was only comforting her, but it was hard not to feel it. Sawyer stood up and walked toward Kate. He could tell that she was jealous.

"Kate," he started. "She was bawlin'. What was I supposed to do?"

"I know," she replied. "Katie's fine by the way."

"I figured," he said. "I'm hoping if something was wrong you would have come to get me."

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Kate," he sighed. "Let's just go back to bed. You ok Claire?"

"I'll be fine," she nodded. "I'm gonna call Charlie I think. My bed feels empty without him."

"He's welcome to come over tonight too...if he needs to," Sawyer responded. Kate left the room and went back to her own room. She got back into the bed, which she was hoping that Sawyer would have kept warm, but the sheets were already cold. She brought the blankets up around her and faced herself toward the wall. Sawyer laughed to himself and got into bed behind Kate. He put his arms around her and started to kiss the back of her neck. She tried her best to stay mad. She wasn't really mad or jealous...she flipped over to face him and smiled, mainly mocking herself.

"Sawyer," she started.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Kiss me," she told him.

"What?" he chuckled.

"Just kiss me," she said again. She leaned toward him and kissed him. He kissed her back and they continued to kiss each other. "I want another baby."

"What?" he repeated pullling away from her.

"I want to have another baby."

"Freckles," he responded. "Katie just got back from the hospital...We can barely handle her right now."

"You mean she's a burden?" Kate asked.

"You know that's not what I meant," he sighed. "I just really think that we should still wait a little while before having another kid. I mean we have to take care of Katie right now...make sure she's healthy. She was diagnosed with a heart condition...I know that you're scared right now-but that doesn't mean we need to jump right in and have another kid."

"I just wish that I had, had a sibling," she replied. "I know how lonely it is. I mean I had Jack and everything and he was like my brother, but it's not the same. I can't believe you don't want another baby. You said that you did."

"Kate, you really didn't listen," he stated. "Listen. If you want another baby, then we can have another baby...some day. But I think we should wait until Katie is at least a year old...maybe even older."

"Do you really want another kid? Or are you just saying that because I want another kid?"

"Kate...I never expected to be a dad," he answered. "I never really wanted to be a dad. I thought that I would end up just like my dad, but now that I have Katie and you...I'm not saying that I necessarily want another kid, but if you do I would be just as happy."

"So why do you want to wait?" she asked. "Why do you care? You said you wanted a baby if I did."

"Yeah, but Freckles, don't you think we should wait just a little bit?" he asked. "We barely get enough sleep as it is, but with two babies...it'll be twice as bad. Katie will only be what...11 months older? That damn book that Margo gave us said that babies take at least 2 years to sleep consistantly through the night...and even then..."

There was a soft knock at the door. Kate told the person to come in. The door opened and Claire walked inside the room.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going back home," she whispered. "I mean to my apartment. I just got off the phone with Charlie and he was crying and begging me to come home. I'm giving him one more chance...if he does anything ever again he promised me that he would move out."

"Congratulations Claire," Kate smiled. "Hey Claire, maybe you can help us...have you ever thought about having another baby?"

"Well considering that Aaron is only 6 months old...I think I'd be insane to even think about having a baby right now," Claire chuckled. "But maybe one day I'll have a little baby sibling for Aaron. But for now...it's just gonna be Aaron, me and Charlie."

"See?" Sawyer asked. "Someday...someday we can have another baby...but right now is not the right time."

"Fine," Kate mumbled. She flipped over so her back was to Sawyer. Claire whispered sorry to Sawyer, and he shook his head to tell her not to worry about it. He flipped over and wrapped his arms around Kate.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you want to know why I'm so upset?" she asked.

"I'd love to," he replied.

"I think I'm pregnant."

**A/N: OK so I know this has happened a lot in this particular fic. Haha...I just thought it would explain some of Kate's other mood problems lately. So should she be pregnant? Yay or Nay? Vote please! Also review even if you don't have an opinion on it. Thanks!**


	43. Chapter 43

Sawyer stared at her and took a deep breath. He silently put his arms around her and turned her over so she was facing him. She had two steady streams of tears falling down her cheeks. He sighed and kissed her lips. 

"It's ok," he whispered.

"No, it's not Sawyer," she replied. "I just can't do this without your help."

"Kate, you're being absolutely ridiculous," he told her.

"Thanks," she scoffed.

"No," he shook his head. "If your pregnant, of course I'm gonna help you. I don't know why you would think I wouldn't. Just because I wanted to wait...sometimes you don't really have a choice right?"

"So if I am pregnant, will you resent me?" she asked.

"No," he chuckled. "It's kind of gonna be partly my fault right? It's not like you reproduced all by yourself."

"I know," she nodded and smiled. "I just want you to be ok with it. I want you to love the new baby as much as you love Katie."

"Hmm," he mumbled. "I don't know if that will be possible."

"Yeah," she answered. "I kind of know what you mean. I mean I never knew it was possible to love Katie as much as I do...and now I have to love another baby just as much? I don't know if I will be able to. And what if I suck at being a mom twice? And I don't want Katie to feel left out."

"She won't," he replied. "I promise."

With that they both heard Katie crying over the baby monitor. Sawyer started to get up, but Kate got up first and nearly knocked Sawyer over trying to beat him out of the bed.

"Kate, all you had to say was 'I'll get it'...I would have been happy to just lay here."

"I'm gonna go see what's wrong with her," she said, standing up. She was gone for only a few minutes, but when she got back Sawyer was snoring loudly. She let out a soft chuckle and got into bed next to him. She carefully put her hands on his chest and cuddled against him. He turned toward her and hugged her more tightly. She kissed him, and he kissed her back.

"We'll find out tomorrow if you're pregnant Kate," he stated. "And either way I promise that everything is going to be ok."

"You promise," she said.

"I just said I did, didn't I?" he asked. "I promise Freckles...Whatever happens we'll be fine. Everything will be fine."

The next morning Kate stayed at home with Katie, and Sawyer went to buy her a pregnancy test. She wanted to stay at home. Sawyer really didn't want to go buy the damn thing because he didn't know what the hell she wanted but she insisted that she didn't want to go.

He was walking down the isle where the pregnancy tests were and looked confused. He could feel a person walking toward him. He was really hoping that it wasn't anyone he knew. He looked up and saw Jack walking toward him.

"Jack-o," he mumbled. "What the hell are you doin' here?"

"Hey," Jack said. "How's Katie doing? Is she alright?"

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "She's good. She's better. Kate's still freakin' out a little."

"Yeah, I bet," Jack chuckled. "If you want, I can come by a little later and have a look at her."

"Nah," Sawyer shook his head. "I mean you're welcome to come on over, but we're goin' to the hospital in a couple days. We have to see what kind of medicines they wanna give her."

"What's wrong with her?" Jack asked. "I mean I know that's a dumb question, but did the doctors tell you what kind of heart condition it is?"

"Yeah, but if you think I know what the hell they're talking about-," Sawyer stated. "They're gonna put her on some kind of medication...that's all I know."

"What brings you here?" Jack questioned.

"Oh," Sawyer mumbled. "Kate...she needed a few things."

"Gotcha," Jack nodded. "Pregnancy test?"

"Dammit," Sawyer whispered. "Yeah...she thinks-"

"Katie's only 2 months old."

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "I know. We only did anything one time...Once."

"Well that's all it takes," Jack replied.

"I'm aware," he mumbled. "Anyway...I gotta get home. We gotta find out what the hell is going on."

"You don't want it do you?" Jack asked.

"Don't say it like that," he shook his head. "That ain't what it's like. I just-I didn't want to have another kid so soon. I mean we can barely take care of Katie and ourselves..."

"I get it man...it's cool," Jack stated. "Why don't you just get home to Kate?"

"Yeah."

When Sawyer got home he went into the living room and sat down next to Kate. She was sitting with Katie on her lap. He sighed softly and handed Kate the plastic bag with the pregnancy test inside. She looked at him and gave him a small smile.

"Jack knows," he whispered. "He saw me there. I really didn't really know what to say so I guess I told the truth."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Well...that's fine. I mean you said everything was going to be ok right? So it will be."

Sawyer took Katie from Kate and she stood up to go to the bathroom and take the pregnancy test. Kate walked back to the bathroom and closed the door. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub. She read the directions carefully. Then she got really scared. Last night she thought it would be fun to have another baby. But the more she thought about it...she wasn't ready to have another baby right now. Sawyer was right, Katie had just gotten out of the hospital. She almost lost her. Kate sighed and slid down on to the floor. She sat there for almost 10 minutes, when she decided that it was now or never.

Kate had been gone for almost 10 minutes, so Sawyer decided to go check on her. He stood up and went to the bathroom door. He knocked softly.

"Kate, are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "You can come in...the door isn't locked."

Sawyer opened the door and looked down at Kate who was sitting on the floor staring at the pregnancy test. He couldn't tell from the look on her face what the result was. He sat down next to her and took her hand.

"So?" he asked.

"It's not ready yet," she mumbled.

"How long does the damn thing take?" he asked.

"Well...once I took it, it's supposed to take 3 and a half minutes."

"How long has it been?" he questioned.

"30 seconds," she chuckled. Katie was reaching over to Kate. Sawyer put Katie on Kate's lap and brushed his hand against her head. Kate handed Sawyer the test and stared at him.

"You look," she replied. She bounced Katie on her legs and kissed her on the head. "I can't look. Just tell me."

Sawyer looked down at the test and saw nothing. He looked back at Kate.

"How long has it been now?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Like a minute maybe."

"Kate, are you going to be ok with whatever the results are?" he asked. "You're not gonna freak out on me if it's negative."

"No," she shook her head. "The more I think about it...you're right. Katie is still sick...I mean I'm so terrified that something is going to happen to her."

"Well, we're gonna take her to the hospital on Friday and find out what kind of medication to give her right?"

"Yeah, and she's gonna hate us," Kate answered. "She's gonna be pissed at us that we'll have to give her medicine."

"She won't even no the difference," he replied confidently. "She's gonna be just fine."

"It's just kind of scary," she whispered.

"Yeah," he sighed. "It is."

They sat there for another couple minutes and Sawyer looked down at the pregnancy test. Kate looked at him for reassurance.

"It's negative," he told her. She nodded and stood up, still holding Katie. She walked from the bathroom and went toward Katie's room. Sawyer followed her and watched her sit down in the rocking chair. She started rocking gently and Katie began to doze of quickly. Sawyer squatted in front of Kate and looked at her apologetically.

"Kate, it's alright," he replied. "We can have a baby later. In a few years."

"Years?" she asked. "I was gonna say we could wait a few months."

"I'll make you a deal," he started. "If we can wait till Katie is at least a year old then I'll have as many kids as you want."

"Can we have 4?" she asked.

"That ain't so bad," he shrugged. "We might need a bigger place though if we're gonna have 4 kids."

"No we won't," she answered. "We're gonna have triplets...they can share a room."

"Triplets huh?" he chuckled. "Freckles, I don't think we really have a choice in the matter of how many we have at a time. We're still pretty young Kate. We have plenty of time to have 3 more kids."

"I know," she nodded. "I just-I'm so confused. I wanted to be pregnant, and then right before I took it I didn't want it...and when you said it was negative, I realized that something else must be wrong with me. I mean I've been asking psycho lately."

"I wouldn't say psycho," he smiled. "Kate, I'm pretty sure you just need some sleep. I mean come on...you haven't slept very well lately. Go get into bed and I'll take care of Katie."

"I don't want to," she pouted.

"Hmm, why does that not surprise me?" he mumbled. "Here, gimme the baby."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because she's sleeping," he whispered. "We can put her in her crib and just relax for a minute ok? Come on."

He took the baby from Kate and lifted her into the crib. Katie woke up and started crying before Sawyer had put her all the way down. He sighed and picked her back up. He started swaying back and forth to put her back to sleep. She quieted down quickly and Sawyer was able to put her down without waking her up. Kate and Sawyer walked back into the living room and sat down together. Kate went to the kitchen and came back with a glass and a bottle of vodka.

"Where the hell did that come from?" he asked.

"I bought it," she shrugged. "I'm not gonna over do it...I just really need a drink right now."

"Kate I don't think-" Sawyer started.

"Shut up," she scoffed. "Just let me have this...just once."

"What if it isn't just once Kate?" he asked.

"Leave me alone," she stated, taking a drink from the bottle. Sawyer looked at her with a frown, but kept his mouth shut.

That night Kate and Sawyer got into a fight about the drinking. Sawyer had called her an alcoholic, which didn't set well with her. He just meant that she shouldn't drink when she can't seem to stop with just one. He ended up going to bed before she did. He was laying in their bed, feeling a little guilty that they had fought, but he didn't want to apologize, since he didn't think he did anything wrong. He was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He heard the door open, but didn't bother looking toward the door.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She walked toward the bed and crawled on top of him. She started to kiss him passionately. He kissed her back and flipped over on top of her. He stopped kissing her and looked at her.

"Why are you stopping?" she asked.

"How much more did you drink?" he questioned seriously.

"None of your business Sawyer," she sighed. "I guess if you're not in the mood, that's fine."

She tried to get out from underneath him, but he was pinning her down. He sighed softly and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Ok," he whispered. "I'm just worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me Sawyer," she shook her head.

She leaned up and kissed him again. He kissed her back and tried to push the thought from his mind.

**A/N: For those of you who haven't seen it yet...you need to see the new season 4 trailer. It's on youtube and it's absolutely amazing. I watched it yesterday and I was literally shaking from well I really don't know why...but I could barely type. I'm so freaking excited. It needs to be January 31st like right now (and P.S. if Kate ends up getting with Jack in the episode I'm going to be very upset!) hah. But both of the scenes that they showed with Sawyer looked like really good ones! Gah I'm so psyched! Anyway...pleaase please review!**


	44. Chapter 44

Sawyer woke up the next morning and could hear Katie crying. He started to sit up and noticed that Kate was still fast asleep. He sighed softly and got out of the bed. He went into Katie's room and picked her up. He went into the living room and sat down. He rocked Katie slowly and looked down at her, and smiled at the baby in his arms. He spent the morning watching TV, and holding Katie on his lap. A few times he got up to make sure that Kate was still breathing. She was but she wasn't waking up. He decided that if she wasn't awake by noon he'd go in there and force her to wake up. 

It was 5 minutes to 12:00. Katie was sleeping on the couch next to Sawyer. He lifted her carefully into the baby seat which was sitting on the floor. He stood up and went into the bedroom. He crawled on to the bed next to Kate.

"Freckles," Sawyer said into her ear. "Wake up."

"Hmm," she mumbled. "I'm tired...and my head is killing me."

"How much of that bottle did you drink Freckles?" he asked.

"Dammit Sawyer," she scoffed. "Why do you have to start a fight first thing in the morning?"

"Well, first of all Freckles," he began. "It's 12:00 in the afternoon. And second of all I didn't think I was actually starting a fight."

"Just leave me alone about it," she sighed. "Where's Katie?"

"She's sleeping," he answered.

"Oh," she smirked. "Good."

She leaned up and kissed him. He started getting up, and she pulled him back down.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I just-I need it. I needed some alcohol. I just needed it. Is that ok with you?"

"Well yeah," he mumbled. "But I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want things to go back to what they used to be. Look at what happened last time. And didn't you just tell Charlie to stop using heroine?"

"Heroine isn't alcohol Sawyer," she sighed. "I'm not hurting myself. It was one night of drinking."

"Yeah," he nodded. "By yourself. Look at what drinking did before? It almost ruined everything."

"Stop," she said putting her hands to her ears. "I know what I did. I know it's all my fault and I blame myself every day. I wish I could change things, but I can't...and you know what I'm kinda glad...because now we have the most wonderful baby ever."

Sawyer nodded and he put his hands on Kate's waist. She put her forehead against his and kissed him quickly.

"I'm gonna go check on Katie," she whispered. "Is she in her room?"

"Living room," Sawyer stated. He laid back and watched Kate leave the room. He sighed deeply. He knew that Kate was already in trouble again. He wanted more than anything to believe that Kate was gonna be done with drinking, but in his heart he knew she wasn't. Especially if there was another disaster. Sawyer stood up and started walking toward the living room. On the way there he could hear Kate in the bathroom. He stepped in and knelt down next to her. He pulled her hair back and let out a half chuckle, which he knew was a mistake, but he couldn't help himself. She stood up and splashed water on her face.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she told him. "You can join me if you don't make fun of me."

"Well, I'd love to Freckles," he responded. "But I should probably go check on Katie."

"Can't you call Jack to come get her?" she asked. "I just want time alone with you. It's like a drug...I just neeed some time alone with you."

"Well alright," he chuckled. "Maybe he can take her for the night even."

"I wish that you didn't have to go back to work," she replied.

"Believe me," he started. "I'd much rather be at home with you and Katie, rather than at work...but it's money...it's kind of important."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know."

Sawyer walked into the living room and looked down at Katie who was still sleeping. Kate walked up behind Sawyer and put her arms around him.

"Should we call Jack now?" she asked quietly.

"It's 12:00 in the afternoon," he responded.

"And?" she asked.

"Ok," he nodded. "Call him then."

"Can we sit here with her for just a minute?" she asked. "Can we hold our baby?"

"We can do whatever you want," he chuckled. She sat down on the couch and picked up Katie. She woke up and started fussing.

"Oh," Kate sighed. "I'm sorry baby. Shh. Will you sing to her?"

"Are you insane?" he asked.

"You used to sing to her," she smirked.

"Well it's your fault that she's awake," he replied. "If you would have just left her sleeping in her little seat she'd still be sleeping like a baby."

"You sang to her when we were in Austrialia," she said.

"Yeah, that's was because it was my fault that she woke up..." he answered. "Fine...give her to me."

Kate smiled at him and handed the baby to him. Sawyer started rocking her gently and she already started calming down. She didn't calm down all the way, so Sawyer made a face and looked down at Katie.

"What did I ever do to you?" he asked. "Ok...what should I sing?"

"Sing her the Katie song," Kate answered.

"Hmm," he mumbled. "Alright...K-k-k-Katie, beautiful Katie, your the only one that I adore. When the m-moon shines over the cow shed. I'll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door."

Katie settled down for the moment, but then started crying again.

"That song's too damn short," he replied.

"I love you Sawyer," she whispered. She put her head on his shoulder. Sawyer put his free arm around Kate and kissed her on the cheek.

"You know how much I love you," he answered. "More than anything."

"Ok," she started. "I guess I can go call Jack now."

She smiled at him and stood up. Sawyer smiled too and watched Kate pick up the phone and dial Jack's number. As Kate spoke to Jack the smile on her face got wider. She hung up and walked over to Sawyer.

"He'll be here in a couple seconds," she told him. She sat down next to Sawyer and took Katie from him again. Jack came through the front door and looked at Sawyer and Kate.

"Sawyer can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Sure," Sawyer answered, somewhat confused. He stood up and followed Jack outside. Jack sat down on the front steps and looked at Sawyer seriously.

"What's up?" Sawyer asked.

"Have you noticed anything up with Kate?" he questioned.

"No," Sawyer replied. "What is all this about?"

"My mom and I," he began. "We noticed that our bottle of vodka is gone. I didn't take it...Kate was over at our house for a little bit...so I just wondered-"

"She didn't take it," Sawyer interrupted.

"Ok," he nodded. "I believe you. I just don't know where the hell else it would have gone. How long do you need me to take Katie?"

"I dunno," Sawyer shook his head. "I guess you should ask Kate."

Sawyer and Jack stood back up and walked into the house. Kate was sitting on the couch still holding Katie. Jack walked over to Katie and picked her up.

"Hey," he said. "You want to come hang out with your uncle Jack?"

Katie started smiling.

"How long do you want me to keep her?" Jack asked.

"Can you take her till tomorrow morning?" Kate questioned.

"Sure," Jack chuckled.

"But if she won't settle down then just call us and we'll come get her," Kate told him.

"Ok," he replied. "I think I got it handled. I can take care of her."

"Ok," she nodded. "Thanks Jack."

Jack smiled at Kate and Sawyer and left carrying the baby with him. Kate watched until the door closed tightly, then she turned toward Sawyer and kissed him deeply and crawled over to sit on his lap. He kissed her, but then pushed her off his lips. She looked at him with confusion.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "We're alone."

"Did you take the bottle of vodka from the doc's house?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Come on! We're finally alone. We don't have any responsibilities...can't we just be happy and not fight for one day. Why are you starting stuff?"

"I'm not," he shook his head. "I don't want to argue with you...it's just a question."

"Will you believe me if I say no?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "If you say no...then I believe you."

"Then no," she said again. She kissed him again and he stood up. He carried her to the bedroom and dropped her on the bed. She wrapped her arms around him and giggled softly. He smiled back at her and came back down to her lips.

Sawyer was holding Kate in his arms. She looked up at him and smiled. She kissed him again and kept right on kissing him. He kept his eyes closed and let her kiss him.

"I'll be right back," she whispered.

"Where you goin'?" he asked, half sitting up.

"I'm thirsty," she answered. "I'm gonna get some water."

"I can go get it for you," he replied.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked. "You don't do you? You think I'm gonna go drink more of Jack's vodka which I already told you I didn't take."

"Kate," he sighed. "That isn't what I thought. You'd be pretty dumb to drink and then come back to bed...I would be able to smell it."

"Oh so now I'm stupid?" she asked.

"That is not what I said," he shook his head. "You know what...I don't want to fight right now. I want you and me to be happy and relax for an afternoon. I mean we have all night without the baby."

"I don't want to fight either," she whispered. "Can I go get my glass of water then?"

"Yes," he smiled. He watched her leave the room and sighed to himself. He was still worried about her. He still thought that she probably did take the liquor from the Shephard's house, but he didn't want to ruin the rest of the day. He looked over at the clock and it was only 3:00 in the afternoon. Kate came back quickly and got into bed.

"You hungry?" she asked. She handed him a peach and smiled. she bent down and kissed him. He kissed her back and then shook his head.

"Well I ain't hungry Kate," he stated.

She laid against his chest and listened to his heart beating and felt his chest rising. He rolled over so he was on top, and looked down at her.

"Did you sneak a sip of alcohol?" he asked.

"Ok," she sighed. "You caught me. But it was just a little bit. It's no big deal. Now shut up, and kiss me."

He smiled at her and did as he was told. She started kissing him harder. He backed away and looked at her with a small smile.

"Kate," he began.

"What?" she asked.

"It's been like 3 minutes," he told her. "You gotta give me a minute to recover woman."

"Fine," she sighed. "Can I stay in your arms though?"

"You sure as hell better," he responded. She snuggled into him and he ran his fingers across her back.

They spent the rest of the day and night laying in the bed together. The only time they got up is when they ordered pizza. It was nearly midnight. Sawyer was awake, and so was Kate, but she was dozing off. He was watching her and a small smile appeared on her face.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You're watching me sleep," she told him.

"You ain't asleep yet Freckles," he replied.

"I will be," she answered. She closed her eyes again and leaned against him. He kissed her softly on the cheek and closed his eyes too. He fell asleep quickly and was snoring loudly before Kate could even pretend to be asleep. She wasn't as tightly in his arms and she quickly got out of bed and went toward the kitchen. She went over to the cupboard and took out the bottle of vodka that she had taken from Jack's house. They didn't understand. All she ever did was take care of the baby and never anything else. This was the one thing that could keep her from going insane. She loved Katie more than anything, but sometimes she just needed to relax. And with everything that has been going on lately who could blame her. Katie almost died, and then she came home only a couple days ago to see Sawyer and Claire kissing. As she drank straight from the bottle she took a deep breath and forced herself not to cry. She had just spent a great day with Sawyer...but she still felt the need to have a drink. She put the bottle back in the cupboard behind a bunch of stuff...she just hoped that Sawyer wouldn't find it. She went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth thoroughly. She hoped that her breath wouldn't smell like alcohol when she returned to bed, but she would just blame it on the previous time. She laid down next to Sawyer and faced away from him. He was still snoring loudly. She nudged him softly, hoping that it would stop the snoring. He rolled toward her and put his arm around her.

"Night Freckles," he whispered.

"Goodnight James," she smiled to herself.

**A/N: OK...well I don't really have anything to say about this chap. Just I hope that you all enjoyed it. There's only like 40 days left till season 4 starts! I am so excited**.


	45. Chapter 45

Over the next 3 weeks things started getting worse with Kate's drinking. Sawyer kept his mouth shut about it because every time he brought it up it would cause a fight. He was waiting for Kate to get home from taking Katie to the doctor's office. She was getting a different medication for her heart. Sawyer had to be at work till right after the appointment. He came home and waited for them to get home. Finally over an hour after Kate should have been home he heard a car pull into the driveway. He got up and went outside to greet his girls. Kate was attempting to get the baby out of the car, but she wasn't having much luck. 

"Kate," Sawyer started. "Where have you been?"

"The doctor's office," she answered. Sawyer detected something was wrong immediately.

"What happened?" he asked. She was still fumbling with the carseat. Sawyer pushed his way past her and lifted Katie out of the car. He held her in his arms and looked at Kate.

"What happened Kate?" he asked again.

"She's gonna have to take the medicine for the rest of her life," Kate whispered. "It's her heart Sawyer. I'm just so scared."

"But as long as she takes the medicine she'll be ok," Sawyer replied. "Right? I mean that's what they said. They told us a month ago that as long as we gave her the medicine every day she would be ok."

"She doesn't like it Sawyer," she sobbed. "They had me try to give it to her at the doctor's office and she started crying and she doesn't like it. She's gonna end up hating me."

"No," he sighed. "Sweetheart, she won't hate you. It's what will save her life. And you know what...maybe she will hate us, but I'd rather have her hate us than die."

"Me too," she nodded. He stepped toward her and hugged her, while still holding on to Katie. She kissed him and looked at Katie.

"Kate," he said, angerly. "You've been drinking?"

"I just found out about Katie," she answered. "I think I deserved a little something."

"Yeah," he scoffed. "And then you went and got into the car with our daughter! You could have killed yourself or both of you. It would have been your fault!"

"Everything's always my fault!" she yelled. "I'm sick of you blaming everything on me! Next it's gonna be my fault that Katie has a heart problem!"

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "You went drunk driving with our 4 month old baby!"

"Shut up!" she yelled back. "Just leave me alone!"

"No," he answered back. Katie was now crying loudly. Sawyer hushed her and bounced her slightly.

"See?" Kate asked. "Way to go Sawyer, you scared her."

"You know what?" he sighed. "Forget this Kate. Just forget it. I'm going inside."

He pushed passed her and went up the front steps. He slammed the door behind him and went into Katie's room. He sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking her.

"Who would have thought I would be the stable parent?" he asked quietly. Katie babbled, which almost sounded to Sawyer like she was agreeing with him. He chuckled soflty and kissed her on the top of the head. "And she wants another one."

"Sawyer you're such an ass!" Kate exclaimed. She had come into the house silently. "I can't believe you think I'm a crappy mom!"

"Kate!" he yelled back. "Look at yourself. Go sleep it off, before I really get pissed."

"You have no reason to be mad," she scoffed. "I'm not drunk. I had a couple drinks. That doesn't get me drunk anymore. I'm not some light weight."

"Kate, you're like 3 pounds," he answered. "It wouldn't be bad if you were a light weight."

"But I'm not," she argued. "I can barely feel what I drank."

"See?" he started. "And that's what scares me Kate. How many does it take for you to feel it?..I don't want you to wrap your car around some telephone pole because you think that you're not drunk. Especially when you have Katie right in the backseat."

"I can't talk to you right now," she sighed. "I'll be in my room if you care."

Sawyer sighed and stood up. He lifted Katie into her crib and she almost immediately started fussing again.

"I'll be right back darlin," he told her, knowing that she probably didn't have any clue what he meant by that. He kissed her on the top of the head again and left the room. He could still hear her whining, but he decided that after a while she would probably stop. He went into the bedroom, which surprisingly Kate had left unlocked. She was sitting on the floor with her head down. Sawyer walked over to her and sat down next to her.

"What is going on with you Kate?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to do it," she replied. "On the way home from the doctor I saw the bar and decided to stop. I was only going to have one drink, but then I had 3."

"Where was Katie while this was going on?" he mumbled.

"In the car," she sobbed. "I have to stop Sawyer. You're right. I'm sorry. She could have died."

"Not to mention you," he said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I just can't stop," she shook her head. "I'm sorry Sawyer. Will you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can forgive you Kate," he replied. "As long as you promise to stop."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll stop."

1 Week Later

Kate stopped drinking. Sawyer had just come home from work. Kate was setting the table. She had made dinner for the first time in a long time. He sat down and smirked at her.

"Nice," he said. "What's the occassion?"

"You are," she answered. She walked over to him and sat down on his lap. She put her arms around his neck and leaned back. "Thank you for showing me that this has all got to stop. The drinking...everything. Katie needs me to be sober.

"So do I," he told her. She kissed him and then stood back up. He noticed that she was wearing an apron and looking very un-Kate-like. He looked at her and forced himself not to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked. "What is so funny?"

"You look so housewifey."

"Well I am a housewife for now," she replied. She set the plate of food in front of him and they both dug in. After dinner Sawyer offered to do the dishes. Kate went over to where Katie was laying in her babyseat. She picked her up and watched as Sawyer did the dishes. The phone rang and Kate jumped up to answer it.

"Let me," he told her.

"Your hands are all soapy," she told him. He wiped his hands off and smirked.

"Not any more," he responded. He picked up the phone and said hello. He didn't say anything else. He looked at Kate and then sighed.

"Yeah doc," he mumbled. "We'll be right over."

Kate looked at Sawyer for reassurance. Sawyer sighed and stepped toward her.

"That was Jack," he started. "Margo...she had a heart attack."

"Is she alright?" she asked. stepping away from him.

"No," he whispered. "I'm so sorry Kate. She died."

Kate pushed passed him and opened the cupboard. She found the vodka bottle that she had hidden and went into the bedroom. Sawyer looked on as she made her movements. There was really nothing else he could do or say. He sighed and followed her.

"Kate," he started. "I think we should go sit with Jack. Come on."

She nodded and started walking out of the room without really acknowledging Sawyer. She walked out the front door. Sawyer went and picked up Katie. He walked over to Jack's house and let himself inside. Kate was sitting on the couch already with the bottle of vodka. Jack and Kate were passing the bottle back and forth. Sawyer sighed and walked over to them. He took the bottle from Jack and looked down at the pair of them.

"Ok," he sighed. "I'm not gonna sit over here while you two drink all night."

"Fine," Kate mumbled. "Then don't stay. The only woman who has ever protected me like a mother should just died. I think we both have just a little bit of a reason to drink."

"Kate," he started. "Alcoholics don't need an excuse. This isn't going to happen. I'm not going to let you do this to yourselves, or gang up on me."

"Sawyer's right," Jack mumbled. "Neither of us should be drinking."

He looked at Kate and waited for a response.

"Give me the damn bottle," she stated, she reached forward and took the bottle from Sawyer. Sawyer sighed and took the bottle back. She scoffed at him and left the house quickly. Sawyer followed her quickly and grabbed her by the arm.

"Stop!" she exclaimed.

"No," he answered. "You stop it!"

She continued to walk. This time Sawyer didn't follow her. He knew that he would never get through to her like this. He walked back into the house and sat down next to Jack.

"I am sorry man," Sawyer started. "I mean Margo was kinda like a mom to me too. First person to care about me since my own mama."

"Well, I shouldn't have encouraged Kate."

"I think she really has a problem," he replied. "I think we need to tell her to go to rehab."

"She won't go," Jack shook her head. "I don't know if you noticed, but Kate is one of the most stubborn people that I know...if she doesn't want to go...then she won't."

"We have to make her then," Sawyer answered.

"You can't make someone go to rehab," he replied. Sawyer went back to the house with the baby and waited for Kate to get home. She was gone for several hours before she came back and flopped down on the couch next to Sawyer. He could tell that she was drunker than she had been in a while. She could hardly stand or talk.

"Have fun?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I did."

"Good," he stated. "I'm taking Katie and I'm going to Jack's. I'm not going to let you near her when you're like this."

"I'm her mother," she replied. "You can't just keep her from me."

"I sure as hell can," he answered. Kate stood up quickly and went into Katie's room. She picked the baby up and before Sawyer could try to stop her she had left the house. Sawyer chased her and Kate continued to push him away. She put the baby in the car and started leaving.

"No!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Kate I beg you. Don't do this."

"You're gonna take her from me," she answered. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"I won't," he stated. "I promise. I'm sorry that I even said it. I won't take her to Jack's just get out of the car. Please Kate."

"No," Kate shook her head. She put the car in what she thought was reverse, but was really foward. She stepped on the gas and went forward. She tried to stop before she hit the front of the garage door, but she didn't. With the car stopped, and Kate basically cornered, Sawyer went to the car and opened the back door. He quickly got Katie out of the car and held her in his arms. Jack, who had heard the car slam into the garage door came running out of his house and watched as Sawyer rocked the baby who was now screaming. Kate was still in the car. She had hit her head on the stearing wheel and she was holding her hand to the cut on her head. Sawyer was shushing Katie and still rocking back and forth.

"It's ok," he repeated over and over. "You're safe. I gotcha."

Sawyer saw Jack and then looked back at Kate who was pathetically trying to open the car door. When she managed to get the car door open she tried to reach for Katie. Sawyer stepped back and handed the baby over to Jack. He stepped toward her and shoved her a little harder than he planned, into the car.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" he yelled. "You could have killed our daughter again! Wake up!"

She started sobbing immediately and fell to the floor in front of him. She wrapped her arms around his middle and continued to sob. He sighed and allowed her to hug him. He moved his hand against her head and then knelt in front of her.

"I'm sorry," she continued to sob. "I need help Sawyer."

"Ok," he replied. "Then we'll get it tomorrow."

He pulled her up and hugged her tightly. She sobbed hard on his shoulder. He could tell that she wasn't going to walk herself into the house, and he really didn't want to spend the night standing outside of the house. He picked her up and carried her into the house. Jack followed close behind still holding Katie. Sawyer put Kate down in their bed. She was still sobbing almost uncontrollably. He looked over at Jack and sighed.

"Yeah," Jack began. "I'll take Katie for the night."

"Thanks," Sawyer mumbled. "I'm really sorry about all this. It's really the last thing you need right now."

"Actually taking care of Katie tonight will help take my mind off my mom. Plus all I need is for Kate to be healthy and good mommy for Katie."

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "You and me both."

"Ok then," Jack nodded. "I will take Katie for the night and in the morning we will drive Kate to rehab ourselves. And she's gonna go to the best rehab that we can find."

"Maybe we should do a little research then," Sawyer shrugged.

"I'll call around tonight and tomorrow," he nodded. "You just take care of your wife."

"I'm really not in the mood to be anywhere near her, but I know that she needs me. God...I don't know what I would have done if she had gotten out of the driveway. It all happened so fast."

"Well all that matters is that they're both ok," Jack answered.

"Yeah, you're right about that one," Sawyer replied. "Thanks Jack."

Jack left the house and Sawyer looked down at Kate. He sighed deeply. She was already sleeping, but her cheeks were still wet from the tears. He turned her around and put his arms around her. He was still angry, but it was hard not to feel at least a little bit sympathetic. He could tell that Kate really did feel horrible.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry Sawyer. Please. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shut up!" he yelled. She looked at him a little bit in shock. She continued to sob and looked at Sawyer.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I heard ya the first 10 times."

"Please," she wimpered. "I didn't mean-I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"You're going to rehab," he told her. "I know it ain't Disneyland, and I know it's far from the happiest place on earth, but you're going."

"I know," she nodded. "I have to. If something had happened to Katie I never would have forgiven myself."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I think I'll have to agree with you on that one."

"Thanks a lot," she sighed.

"What do you think Kate?" he asked. "I'm just gonna let you off the hook because your drunk and overly emotional and crying?"

"No," she shook her head. "You're right. You shouldn't forgive me ever. You should take Katie and run."

"Kate," he started. "Look, I don't want to take Katie away from you. You're a great mom when you are there...when you're not about to go driving completely trashed with her."

"Do you forgive me?" she asked. "I mean I know that that's something I've been saying a lot lately, but I just want to know that we're ok."

"I dunno Freckles," he whispered. "You messed up big time. You know that thing you said a month ago when Katie was in the hospital...that thing about not knowing that you could love someone so much?"

"Yeah," she said, her lips beginning to tremble.

"Well," he began. "And don't get me wrong, I've loved Katie since the day she was born, and I was scared to death when she was in the hospital with the heart thing, but tonight...I actually realized how it might be if I ever lost her. It was a fear that I couldn't even discribe. And Jack-o's stupid counting thing wouldn't have worked because I didn't even have time to count to five Kate. What would have happened if you had gotten out of the driveway? I mean I'm glad that you smashed the car into the garage instead of some other car. I mean you could have killed yourself, and Katie, and another person on the road."

"I know," she breathed, trying to force herself not to cry, but not succeeding in the least. "Please just tell me that we can be ok again."

"We will be," he mumbled. "If you stick to the rehab for however long you have to stay."

"How long is it?" she asked.

"I dunno...isn't it normally 30 days?" he questioned. "Jack's looking into places tonight, and tomorrow morning. He'll come pick you up when he's ready."

"I want you to take me," she pouted.

"I'll think about it," he replied. "But I don't know how I'm gonna do it."

**The Next Day**

Sawyer was holding Kate in his arms. They were standing in her room at rehab. She kissed him softly and looked at him sadly.

"I can do this," she breathed.

"Yes you can," he said putting his hands on her face and kissing her again. He pulled her back into a hug. Jack was standing in the room holding Katie. Kate reached over and took her from him.

"Bye baby," she stated quietly. She could feel the tears moving their way into her eyes. She blinked them away.

"Kate," a young woman stepped into the room. She looked official, but she wasn't wearing any type of uniform.

"Yeah," Kate looked.

"We're gonna have a group discussion starting in 3 minutes...for all the new commers," she answered. "It's required."

"Ok," Kate whispered.

"We'll just wait for you," Sawyer stated.

"Actually sir, all family and friends must leave. You can only be here on family day," she replied. "First family week is in 2 weeks."

"2 weeks?" Kate asked. "The brochure thing says it's once a week."

"First week is detox," she responded, not being very friendly about it. "Family and friends can't come till after detox, so second week."

"My baby though," Kate whispered.

"I'm sorry," the woman shrugged.

"Ok," Sawyer said. Kate could tell that he wasn't happy about it either. He hugged her once more and kissed her on the cheek. "You get better for Katie."

She nodded and gave him a brave smile.

As Sawyer and Jack drove away from the rehab center Sawyer punched the window with his hand. He punched it so hard that it startled Katie and she started crying, and it left a small crack in the glass.

"Sorry," Sawyer mumbled.

**A/N: I didn't get very many reviews last time...:(...anyway. It's all good, I'll live. I don't know when the next time I'll update. I'm working a lot, and having family stuff, obviously, but if I have time and if there's a lot of reviews I'll try and update once more before x-mas day. I hope ya'll liked my chappy...it was nice and long and a crap load happened. To LostinHarryPotter, I hope that you got my PM and watched the video b/c it's amazing. If you haven't I can send you the link again if you need me to**.


	46. Chapter 46

Jack pulled into the driveway and looked over at Sawyer. He was holding his hand which was bleeding pretty badly from where he punched the window. Katie had calmed back down and was sleeping contently. Sawyer sighed deeply and got out of the car. He opened Katie's door and went to pick her up. 

"Do you want to come over so I can take care of your hand?" Jack asked.

"No," he whispered. "I got it. Thanks doc."

"Um," Jack began. "Ok. So I feel really dumb even attempting to ask you this. But...the house is kind of empty. I feel so stupid, but do you mind if I come over and hang out for a little bit."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I mean-it's cool. I guess if you must, you can fix my damn hand."

They walked into the house. Jack had taken Katie, so that Sawyer could concentrate on his hand. They walked into the kitchen and Sawyer sat down. He noticed that all 4 of his knuckles were badly scraped. Sawyer looked at them and shrugged.

"Damn man, that looks bad," Jack stated.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Don't feel too great neither."

Jack was still holding Katie in her baby seat and put her down on the floor next to the table. He looked at Sawyer's hand, and took it in his own. Sawyer jerked his hand away and looked at him seriously.

"You have to let me look at it," Jack told him.

"Can't you look at it without touching it?" Sawyer asked, looking at him somewhat angerly.

"Yes," Jack sighed. "Sawyer your gonna at least have to hold out your hand. Just let me look at it."

Sawyer held out his hand and sighed deeply. Jack looked at it, and saw a couple of small pieces of glass sticking out of the wound.

"You know that you're gonna buy me a new window," Jack said. Sawyer let out a small chuckle and pulled his hand back away from him.

"Sawyer, I gotta take the glass out," Jack told him. "Can I please touch you hand? It's nothing personal, but if that glass stays in there it won't be good. Just give me your damn hand."

Sawyer sighed and held out his hand further. Jack stood up and started leaving.

"Where the hell are you goin'?" he asked.

"Do you have tweezers or something?" Jack questioned.

"I don't know," Sawyer shrugged. "Maybe Kate does. You can go look in the bathroom I guess."

Jack nodded and walked toward the bathroom. Katie started fussing and was reaching up for Sawyer. When he didn't pick her up she started crying harder. He looked down at her sympathetically and then picked her up. His hand was still killing him and he swore loudly. He was holding Katie on his lap when Jack came back into the room.

"She ok?" Jack asked.

"She was just cryin'," Sawyer answered. "It's the one thing I can't stand to hear...a baby crying. Not just because it's loud and obnoxious, but I just feel so helpless"

"Well, you pretty much are," Jack replied. "Katie can't tell you exactly what's wrong."

"Ok, well can you put her down now so that I can take the glass out of your knuckles?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. He put Katie down and held out his hand. "Just do this as quickly as you can ok?"

"Well Sawyer," he began. "I'm gonna do this as thoroughly as I can. I mean come on, you have pieces of glass in your knuckles. I have to make sure I get all of it."

Jack picked 3 pieces of glass out of Sawyer's hand. He was wincing but he didn't move or let Jack see that he was in as much pain as he was. Jack finished and put band-aids over Sawyer's knuckles.

"Ok," he stated. "Done."

"Thanks," Sawyer mumbled. He stood up and picked Katie up. He walked with her over to the couch and sat down with her. Jack walked over to them. He sat down next to Sawyer and looked at him.

"What man?" Sawyer asked.

"Kate," he whispered. "I just can't believe it. What the hell happened?"

"Jack you saw what happened," Sawyer answered. "She got trashed and almost got out of the driveway. The car is still stuck in the garage door. I'm sorry that all of this is happening right now. You shouldn't have to deal with this."

"Kate is my best friend," Jack replied. "Or at least she used to be. I mean, I miss my mom. It sucks, but I'm way more worried about Kate right now than anything else."

"Yeah," Sawyer murmured. "I honestly don't even know what to think or do. Part of me wants to leave her in rehab for the next month and just not see her, but I know I won't be able to."

"She's sorry Sawyer," Jack told him.

"I know," he nodded. "But I just keep going back to what if she had gotten out of the driveway? I mean it was only yesterday. I could have lost both of them. I know that I didn't, but what-"

"But she didn't get away," Jack interrupted. "She didn't get out of the driveway, and as soon as she realized what happened, she was sobbing at your feet. And it seems like you forgave her today, so you can't just change your mind."

"I'm just glad that we have a week a part," he said. Jack looked at him half sympathtically, but partly accusingly.

"Sawy-" he began.

"No," he interrupted. "You don't get to be mad at me or accuse me of anything. I love Kate so much. And if you don't know that, then it's your own damn problem. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I do think that we needed some time a part...I mean last night I was so angry at her...but she forced me to hide what I was really feeling because I didn't want to make her more upset. I mean she just wanted to cry and apologize...part of me wanted to tell her that everything was ok, but I knew that everything wasn't ok. It's just hard."

"I know," Jack stated. "Believe me. I'm pretty mad at her too, but I can always forgive her."

"Jack," he sighed. "I can forgive her too. In fact I think I did. I just need to have a couple days to relax and not worry about her. I know she's safe where she is."

"She'll be ok," He replied. "I promise."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Whatever."

Over the next week Sawyer decided to let Jack move into the house. He could tell that Jack was lonely and missing Margo. At first Jack said that he was fine, but a couple hours later he had changed his mind. Sawyer had a hard time dealing with Katie too. He knew that she had no idea what was going on, but he also was confident that she missed Kate just as much as he did. He was at his bedroom, ignoring Katie crying. It was true that he still didn't like hearing Katie crying, but it seemed like nothing he did helped lately. He heard a hard knock on the front door and the doorbell ring. Sawyer stood up and went to the door and opened it slowly. He saw someone he never expected to see. Shannon was standing in front of him.

"Shannon?" he asked.

"I just heard about Kate," she answered. "I had to see what was going on."

"She's at rehab," he told her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I saw the aftermath of your garage. How are you gonna fix that?"

"Hell if I know," he shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to call someone to fix it."

"Yeah, but how will you pay for it?" she asked.

"I don't know," he scoffed. "Is that all you wanted?"

"No," she shook her head. "Is Katie ok? I can hear her crying."

"She's been crying for pretty much 5 days straight."

"Can I try?" she asked.

"Yeah. I guess," he answered. They walked into the house and went to Katie's room. Shannon went over to the crib and picked her up.

"She's so big," Shannon said.

"Well you haven't seen her since she was born practically," he replied.

"Hi," Shannon said quietly. She walked back into the living room and held Katie on her lap. Katie had stopped crying and was reaching for Shannon's earings. Shannon spent a few more minutes holding Kate, when Sawyer looked at her and raised his eyebrows.

"So what's really going on Shan?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"I know that you didn't just come over here to get Katie to quiet down. What's up?"

"I needed to get away from my house," she mumbled. "My dad and step mom-they're just really-"

"You don't need to say anything else," he chuckled. "I don't need the details."

"So can I stay here for a little while?" she asked.

"Well the doc's got the spare room," he shrugged. "But if you don't mind sharing with him."

"I didn't mean to spend the night Sawyer," she stated. "I meant for a couple hours or something."

"Yeah," he replied. "I guess."

* * *

Kate had a hard first week, and it had nothing to do with not drinking. She missed Katie and Sawyer and all she wanted to do was go back home. She wasn't sleeping very well because she was used to Sawyer sleeping next to her, and his snoring. The first day she met another girl her age that was addicted to cocaine. She had met quite a few friends. She was glad that there were people there worse off than she was. She was in her room waiting for the next group meeting. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," she said. The door opened and her new friend John walked through the door.

"Hey," he sighed.

"Hey," she said, wondering what was wrong.

"Mel just dumped me," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked.

"Mel-" he began again.

"Well I heard you," she stated. "But how did she dump you...we're not allowed to see or talk to our families till next week."

"She sent me a letter," he responded. "And it said urgent on the envelope so they let me open it."

"She broke up with you in a letter?" Kate asked. "That sucks. What a bitch."

"Hey," he shook his head. "Don't call her that. She's a great person...she's just hurting right now. And when I get out of here we're gonna talk and we're gonna make up."

"Ok," she whispered. "Sorry. I just think it's pretty crappy to break up with someone in a letter."

He looked at Kate sadly. There was tears shining in his eyes. She looked at him and he suddenly hugged her. She hugged him back. She felt a little guilty, but she continued to hug him.

**A/N: Ok, so I hope you liked this chap. I probably won't have time to update tomorrow ha...but Merry X-Mas to those of you who celebrate! Please review! **


	47. Chapter 47

Shannon and Sawyer had been hanging out quite a bit lately. Jack was spending his time with Juliet. He would come back to Sawyer and Kate's to sleep and that's about it. All other times he was either in class, or with Juliet. Sawyer was glad that Shannon was keeping him company, but he still missed Kate. 

Kate was hanging out with John for the ninth time that week. They were sitting in her room talking about therapy and other things that they had gone through that day and week. Kate looked over at him and touched his hand.

"I should probably leave," he whispered. "Before something happens that we'll both regret."

Kate smiled again and kissed him. The minute their lips touched Kate backed away. She was glad that there was no spark in the kiss. When their lips touched Kate immediately felt that it was wrong. She loved Sawyer and she refused to betray him.

"I love you," he told her.

"No you don't," she looked at him slightly in shock, and shook her head. "We barely know each other John."

"Do you kiss men that you barely know?" he asked, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Apparently I do," she chuckled. "Look. I love my husband. We can't kiss again. I can't betray him. He trusts me...I'm trying to get sober."

"But we understand each other like no one else can. We're soul mates Kate," he stated.

"I don't believe in soulmates. And even if I did...Sawyer's mine. Sawyer and I...we've been through enough together to last 3 lifetimes. I love him and I won't hurt him."

"Can we still be friends?" John asked.

"I hope so," she smiled. He kissed her on the forehead and quickly left the room.

It was visiting day at rehab. Sawyer didn't want to bring the baby back into that environment, and according to the rules you had to be over 18 anyway to go. He left Katie at home with Shannon. He knew that Kate would be upset, but she knew that Katie wouldn't be coming. Sawyer knocked on Kate's door. He could hear talking faintly through the door. He turned the knob and walked inside.

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed. She ran and jumped into his arms. There was a strange man sitting on Kate's bed. He looked comfortable and he was smiling at the couple. Sawyer backed away from Kate and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey," he whispered. "How are you?"

"Good," she answered. "Even better now."

"I'll just let you guys have some alone time," John stated standing up. Kate smiled at him. Part of her wanted him to stay...he wouldn't have anyone coming to see him today, but the other part wanted Sawyer time to herself.

"Are you gonna introduce me to your friend Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"Oh," Kate chuckled. "Of course. Sawyer this is John."

"Hey Johnny," Sawyer said holding out his hand. "What are you here for? Drugs? Alcohol? Compulsive shopping?"

"Sawyer, that's not something that you ask a person," Kate told him quietly.

"No it's ok," John shook his head. "If someone was hanging out with my wife, especially if she were as gorgeous as you I'd want to know what he was up to. I'm here for the same reason as Kathy here...alcohol. At least it's not cocaine like Johanna."

"See ya later John," Kate chuckled. John shut the door behind him, and Sawyer looked at Kate with his eyebrows wrinkled.

"Kathy?" he asked.

"Oh," she scoffed. "There's this psychologist who insists that my name is Kathy. I've told him about 10 times that it's Kate...just kind of an inside joke here."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Here I thought you'd be miserable here, and be happy to see me and want to come home to me and Katie."

"James," she sighed. "Of course I'm happy to see you and of course I want to come home. I just figured, I might as well make the best of it while I'm here. Make friends."

"Friends that you're gonna say goodbye to in 2 weeks," he responded.

"Well no," she shrugged. "I dunno. I might keep in contact with Johanna and John. They're near my age. Sawyer you just don't understand. You don't get what it's like to have your entire family gang up on you. Jo and John do."

"I wasn't ganging up on you Freckles," he said, putting his arm around her. "You were the one who wanted help. You know that you needed this."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Maybe I do. And maybe I've been craving a damn drink since the second I stepped in this place. But if you-no. I'm not going to argue with you right now. I'm sorry. Isn't that enough? Can't you just say that you love me and forgive me and that Katie is completely fine, except for missing her mommy?"

Sawyer laid down on Kate's bed and took her with him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you," he started. "You're always forgiven, and of course Katie is fine. She's more than fine. And I don't even think that she misses you."

Kate elbowed him in the ribs playfully. He let out a huge overly exaggerated groan.

"Alright," he continued. "She misses her mommy like crazy."

"Where is she?" Kate asked.

"Shannon's taking care of her," he answered. "We've kind of been hanging out a lot. I mean I miss you and she's kind of been there. So I guess she's kind of my John."

Kate and Sawyer spent the next few hours together. They went down to the cafeteria together to eat. Sawyer thought that the food was horrible and he was able to get permission to take Kate to dinner. She had to be back before 9:00...and the other catch was that an employee from the rehab had to come with them to make sure nothing happened. Sawyer insisted that he wasn't going to let Kate drink, but they still insisted that someone come with them.

That night as Sawyer drove home from the rehab, he thought about everything that he had gone through with Kate. He knew that he and Kate had been through a lot...from the early pregnancy scares at the beginning of their relationship to everything that happened with Wayne. He nearly missed the turn onto their street. He drove into the driveway and Shannon came walking down the front steps and toward Sawyer. She was holding Katie in her arms and whispering something in her ear.

"There's daddy," she said a little louder and in a sing-songy voice. Sawyer chuckled and walked toward Shannon. As he got closer he realized that Katie was crying. He took her from Shannon and rocked her gently.

"Hey," he stated. "What's wrong Katie?"

"She won't answer you," Shannon scoffed. "I've been asking her all day. I just wish I knew what to do."

"I'm sure you did fine," he smiled. "Was she crying all day?"

"No," she shook her head. "Just for about half of it."

Sawyer let out another chuckle and headed in the house.

"I'm just gonna get going," Shannon told him. She kissed him on the cheek and began to walk toward her car. Sawyer grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward him. He kissed her lips softly and then backed away.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he stated. "I'm just a little-Kate's got a guy at rehab. I mean I don't think it means anything, but they're flirty, and they already have inside jokes."

"I'm sure it's nothing Sawyer," she whispered. "And don't worry about the kiss either...it was nice."

"Yeah," he nodded. "It kinda was...and that's sort of a problem Shannon."

"Ok," she swallowed. "I'm gonna go...maybe I'll see you tomorrow? Or is that like the worst idea ever?"

"It's not a bad idea Barbie," he smiled and shook his head. "In fact, if you wanna just stay here tonight...I mean it's late."

"It's 5 blocks Sawyer," she chuckled. "I think I'll make it."

"Alright," he smirked. "Night Shannon."

"Goodnight."

Shannon got into her car and drove the 5 blocks. She was sitting in the car in her driveway and was touching her lips where Sawyer touched them. The truth was that she had always kind of had a little crush on him. She would have never admitted it to anyone because she knew that he was Kate's and she didn't want to hurt her friend. She also had the feeling that he would never go for a girl like her. He was completely in love with Kate. But then why did that kiss have such a spark...it could have lit both their lips on fire.

Sawyer was still standing outside holding Katie. She had stopped crying. Sawyer was thinking about that damn kiss. He didn't want to admit it, but that kiss was something that he and Kate hadn't shared in months. He walked back into the house and rocked Katie to sleep. He went into his own room and flopped down on the bed. He wanted nothing more than Kate to be laying next to him. He wanted to hold her and forget about Shannon.

Kate was laying in her own bed. The hours she had just spent with Sawyer were replaying in her mind. She felt like she was losing him. It felt like someone had come up and popped a hole in their proverbial balloon which was their relationship. Even though he told her he loved her and forgave her...he didn't say it in his usual Sawyer tone that made her know everything would be ok. She could hear a faint scraping on her door. She stood up and went to the door. John fell into the room...one of his wrists was bloody.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "John. John! Come on. Get in here. I'm calling someone."

"No!" he exclaimed. "Kate don't! They'll take me away. They'll put me in the hospital."

"John I think that's where you need to be."

"So now I'm crazy!" he yelled in her face. "I'm in love with you! I love you Kate! My beautiful Freckles."

"John," she sighed. "Don't. Please don't do this. Sawyer is the only one who can call me Freckles. That's just really creepy."

"And now I'm crazy and creepy!" he yelled. "I hate myself!"

He started hitting himself in the head with his fists. Kate took a deep breath and pulled his hands down. He wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her. She moved her head to the side and pushed him away.

"John don't," she whimpered. "Please stop. Just stop."

He wasn't stopping, which made Kate panic even more.

"Stop!" she screamed. "John don't! Help! Somebody! Please John, stop!"

"Shut up!" he yelled in her face. He covered her mouth with his hand. She moved her head around. Finally she mustered up enough strenth and kicked him hard. He rolled off of her and Kate ran from the room. She ran down the hall and knocked on the door of the rehab facilitator.

"Tina!" Kate screamed and pounded on the door. Tina came to the door and let Kate in. Kate dragged her down the hall and back to her room. John was still laying on her floor, still bleeding profusely. Tina called 9-1-1 and let Kate sleep in her room for the night.

The next day Kate was allowed to call Sawyer and have him come up again. He drove back to the rehab facility and went to Kate's room immediately. Kate came to the door with red eyes and tears still streaming down her face. She stepped out of the way to let him inside.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"James," she sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed deeply. The doctors and other people at the rehab didn't tell Sawyer anything about what happened, just that he should come as soon as possible. He looked at Kate and put his hands on her cheeks.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

"He attacked me," she began. "He-he killed himself."

"What do you mean he attacked you?" he questioned.

"He came to my room and when I opened the door he came inside and told me he was in love with me. He had already slit his wrists and he wouldn't let me call 9-1-1. I was able to get away from him and by the time we got back it was too late. He died on the way to the hospital. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Sawyer. I love you. I shouldn't have-"

"I'm sorry too," he mumbled. "I feel like a complete jackass. I should have made you believe me when I said I love you."

"I do," she answered.

"I kissed Shannon last night," he blurted out. "And the worst part about it was that I liked it. I miss what we used to be Freckles. I mean since Katie has been born things just haven't been the same between us. I don't think it's Katie's fault at all. I know that it's because we haven't really-it's really not an excuse. I love you."

He kissed her softly. She backed away and her bottom lip was quivering violently. Sawyer knew that she was about to let go completely and sob.

"Do you love her...Shannon?" Kate asked quietly.

"No," he shook his head. "I don't know what made me kiss her, and I don't know what I was trying to do, but I love you. And I'm just so sorry. I just want to get everything back to normal."

"Me too," she nodded. "I kissed John. I mean a few days ago. The day before visiting day. I kissed him and felt nothing. I think he was a little offended because-well I refused to do it again. I'm so sorry. I miss what we had too, Sawyer. Can we just start over and love each other?" She kissed him and this time neither of them pulled away. They had been kissing for a few minutes when the door opened and they heard a voice apologize. Neither of them really paid attention to it. Kate held Sawyer by the hands and snuggled against him.

"I'll be better in 2 weeks," she told him. "I can't wait to see Katie."

"I know," he answered.

**2 weeks later**

Sawyer had stopped hanging out with Shannon so much. She still came over a lot, but they both kept whatever they were feeling to themselves. Sawyer didn't really feel anything. He mostly just missed Kate when he kissed Shannon, but there was something else there too...he just wasn't sure what.

Sawyer and Shannon were waiting for Kate to get home. Jack went to pick her up. Sawyer would have gone with him, but he had to work until right before Jack had to go, so he decided not to. He was sitting on the couch with Shannon. She was holding Katie on her lap.

"Ok," Shannon sighed. "We've been hanging out since that damn kiss, but we haven't talked about it."

"I vote that we keep it like that," he stated. "I don't want to talk about it Shannon."

"Ok," she nodded. "I just want to know what it meant."

"I don't know," he shook his head. "All I know is that I love Kate. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to cheat. I love her too damn much...I can't lose her."

"I know," she whispered. "I just wish that we could do it again."

"Shannon, stop that," he responded. "You can't-we can't."

"I know," she said again. She leaned in closer, and was almost touching his lips when Katie let out a babble and grabbed at Shannon's necklace. Both Sawyer and Shannon backed away from each other and smiled at the baby.

When Kate got home Sawyer stood up and greeted her at the door. He hugged her closely and she jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him. He held her and didn't really want to let her go. Jack was standing behind them carrying Kate's suitcase. He nodded at Sawyer. She spotted Katie sitting with Shannon and climbed out of his arms. she walked over to where Shannon and Katie were sitting and picked up Katie.

"Hey," she whispered. "How are you?"

Katie began to cry and reached out for Shannon. She was struggling out of Kate's arms. Kate was so upset by this that she almost dropped Katie into Shannon's lap. Instead she set Katie back down and looked down at Shannon.

"Hmm," Kate started. "First you steal my husband, and now my baby thinks you're her mother?"

"She doesn't think I'm her mom," Shannon replied. she stood up and handed Katie back to Kate. Katie started crying again. Kate sighed deeply and walked out of the room still holding Katie in her arms. She sat down in Katie's nursery and started singing softly. This was finally what seemed to do the trick. Katie calmed down and looked up at Kate. She reached for Kate's hair and began to smile and babble. Kate smiled back and then looked up when she felt someone watching her. Sawyer walked into the room and looked at Kate.

"Feel good to be home?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Shannon went home, and Jack went to hang out with Juliet...we have the house to ourselves."

"And a 5 month old," she reminded him. "But this is all I need. My baby and my man. He chuckled and walked over to her. He sat down next to her and kissed her on the cheek. She turned her head so their lips touched.

"I say we just spend the next 48 hours in the house...getting to know each other again. And having you get to know Katie again," Sawyer replied.

"Don't you have to work tomorrow?" she asked.

"Nope," he shook his head. "I asked for tomorrow off, and I wasn't working the next day to begin with...believe me since the problem with Katie in the hospital happened, Michael has felt like an ass, so he pretty much lets me get away with anything."

"Well I'm glad about that," Kate smiled widely and took Sawyer by the hand.

Over the next 2 days they did exactly that. They spent every moment hanging out just the two of them. Jack only came home a couple times, and then he would leave again. Sawyer hadn't even told Kate that he had been staying there. They were sitting in the living room on the second night, Sawyer still hadn't told her. Jack came home and went into his room. He started leaving.

"So how's Juliet's?" Sawyer asked. "She have a comfy bed?"

"Shut up," he scoffed and shook his head. "For your information I've been sleeping at my house. I know the two of you want some time alone, so I figured it would be better if I just made myself scarce."

Jack winked at Kate and left the house. Kate turned toward Sawyer and had a large smile on her face.

"So, when were you gonna tell me that Jack is living with us?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "I thought you knew."

"Well I did," she answered. "Jack told me on the way home, but I just wondered if _you_ were ever going to tell me."

"I just figured you would have figured it out," he shrugged. "I mean he's been coming and going for the past 2 days. You didn't question it, so I just figured that Jack had already told you."

"How did it happen?" she asked. "I mean, I got the Jack version...what really happened?"

"You don't believe him?" he questioned. "That isn't a very good best friend."

"He said that you wanted help with Katie while I was gone, and that things just got comfortable so you offered him to stay."

"Ok, I'll tell you want really happened then. When we got back from taking you to-well he was still pretty upset about Margo...he asked if he could stay for the night," Sawyer started. "I figured, he's all alone in that big ass house...might as well just move in here...we have the room for now. I guess when we have more kids he'll have to figure something else out."

"We're still gonna have more kids?" she asked. "Even after everything that has happened? You want more kids with me?"

"You want 4 kids I thought," he answered.

"I do," she nodded. "But do you?"

"I'm not gonna have this arguement with you again," he replied. "We're gonna have 3 more kids...and I say we practice right now."

"Practice?" she asked.

"Well," he shrugged. "I thought we agreed to wait till Katie was 1 year before we started trying."

"She'll be 1 by the time the baby is born if we start trying now," she chuckled.

"Oh alright," he mumbled. "Either way we're gonna have to go back to the bedroom."

"Really?" she asked. "We can have another baby now?"

"Well it won't be tomorrow," he answered. "It'll be in like 9 months. But yeah. I can tell that you want it...and I just want to love you. Maybe a baby would help us. I don't know I just-"

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "Just shut up and kiss me."

He kissed her passionately. She smiled through the kiss and put her arms around his neck. They continued to kiss. Sawyer stood up and took Kate with him. He walked back to the bedroom and set her back down. They kissed as they made their way to the bed. Kate spun them around and pushed Sawyer down on the bed. They started removing their clothes. They both heard Katie crying on the baby monitor. Sawyer grumbled loudly and reached over to turn it off. He turned it off and Kate stopped kissing him.

"I'll be right back," she whispered. "Just wait here for me."

Sawyer grumbled again and rolled over. Kate was only gone for a few minutes and she came back and climbed into bed with Sawyer. He was pretending to sleep. She chuckled softly and kissed his lips softly. He tried his best to keep a straight face, but it didn't really work. He smiled and rolled toward her.

"How's the baby?" he asked.

"She's fine now," Kate answered. Sawyer kissed her softly. "But I think you were right. She didn't miss me at all. She had Shannon."

"Freckles," he whispered. "Of course she missed you. You're her mom. And Shannon never sang to her."

"Liar," she chuckled.

"She didn't," he shook his head. "I mean I did...but Shannon refused to. She didn't want to embarrass herself."

"From what I remember she was a good singer, so I don't know why not."

Sawyer pulled Kate further toward him and kissed her. She kissed him back and smirked.

"I love you," he started. "This month was the longest month of my life."

"I thought you wanted time alone," she argued. "I mean...you were pissed at me. You almost didn't come to see me off at rehab."

"I know," he whispered. "But I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to ever have to be apart from you for another month, or week, or day."

"You're so crazy," she chuckled. "But I love you too. And I don't really want to spend any time apart from you either."

He leaned forward and kissed her again.

Sawyer was holding Kate in his arms. They both felt like they were getting back to what they used to be. They both realized that they were more in love than before. Kate had completely forgotten about what happened with John a couple weeks ago. She let out a soft breath and snuggled into Sawyer further. He tightened his arms on Kate. He was trying not to think about the kiss that he gave to Shannon. He felt guilty for kissing her because of Kate, but he felt bad because he could tell that Shannon really liked him. He didn't want to hurt Shannon's feelings either. He was completely in love with Kate, but he couldn't deny that the kiss was really good.

"Sawyer?" Kate's voice snapped him out of his daze.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Can we go to Margo's grave tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "But we didn't have the memorial yet. We just burried her."

"Why?" she questioned.

"That's a pretty dumb question Freckles," he chuckled. "Of course we were gonna wait for you. Jack knows how much Marge meant to you. He wanted to wait till you came home to have an actual service."

Kate smiled at him and kissed him again.

"So do you think you're pregnant yet?" he asked. She let out a chuckle and closed her eyes.

**A/N: Please please review!**


	48. Chapter 48

It had been 5 months of trying to get pregnant, and it wasn't happening. Sawyer wasn't all that upset, but Kate was getting really angry. Sawyer just came home from work. He wasn't even all the way inside when Kate pulled him by the hand and toward the bedroom. 

"Freckles," he sighed. "I'm tired, can you at least let me be home for 20 minutes?"

"No," she answered quickly. She continued to pull at his clothes and at him. He pushed back and got away from her.

"Freckles," he said rubbing his forehead. "I mean come on. You're treating this like it's some chore. It's not even fun anymore."

She looked at him almost hurt. She walked away from him and headed toward the bathroom. Sawyer let out a deep breath and followed her. When he went into the bathroom Kate was sitting on the floor. He noticed that the bathroom was filled with candles. The tub was filled with water and red rose petals floating in it.

"I wanted to do something special," she half sobbed. "I know that I've been completely crazy lately. It's just frustrating. We didn't even have to try for Katie. She was pretty much an accident."

"Well we were married," he shrugged. "Freckles, it will happen. I promise."

"What if it doesn't? What if Katie is the only baby we ever have?" she asked.

"I dunno," he answered. "Maybe we can adopt."

"They'll never give a baby to an alcoholic 20 year old," she scoffed.

"Well we might have to wait for a little bit, but eventually maybe they won't care," he replied. "If you stay sober for 3 or 4 years maybe they will let us have a baby."

"I don't want to wait 3 or 4 years," she whined.

"I know darlin'," he whispered. "Why don't we get into the tub before it gets cold? We can keep tryin'. I just-I had kind of a long day. I'm sorry I got so annoyed."

"I'm sorry too," she nodded. She hugged him and kissed him.

"Where is Katie by the way?" Sawyer asked.

"She's with Shannon," Kate answered. "Shannon said she'd be back around 10."

"It's only 4 o'clock," he chuckled.

"Well, I sort of planned this dinner," she said, her cheeks turning red. "I made us dinner."

"Aw," he smirked. "That's adorable."

"What?" she asked. "I make dinner almost every night."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But every night we're interrupted by our incredibly sweet, yet annoying daughter."

"Well, hence Shannon taking her for the night."

Sawyer and Kate spent the night together and by 10:00 Kate was already sleeping. Sawyer waited up for Shannon to get there. When she did Sawyer invited her inside. She was carrying Katie. Shannon sat down on the couch and put Katie on the couch between her and Sawyer.

"How was Katie?" Sawyer whispered. He ran his hand over Katie's head and bent over to kiss her on the cheek. She stirred slightly and then fell right back to a sound sleep.

"She was good," Shannon answered. "She cried a few times, but I was able to get her to quiet down. She knows me well enough now I think. How was the baby making?"

She could hardly believe that the words came out of her mouth. She hid her face in her hands and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she half chuckled. "That was horrible."

"It went fine," he laughed back. "I guess we won't really know until another month."

Katie woke up and started crying. She rolled over and nearly fell off the couch. Sawyer and Shannon both caught her just in time. Sawyer picked her up and held her on his lap.

"Dada," she said through her tears.

"Did she just say-" Sawyer started.

"Yeah," Shannon smiled. "Is that the first time she said anything?"

"Yeah," he replied. "We were startin' to worry."

"I think it's pretty normal," Shannon shrugged. "In a few months she'll probably really start talking."

"Well she's been babbling a lot, but most of it you can't understand," he answered. "She actually just said dada. Say it again Katie."

She looked at Sawyer interestedly, but didn't say anything. She wriggled from Sawyer's lap. She had been walking for about 2 and a half weeks. She was still pretty shaky, but every time she walked, she loved hearing everyone give her praise.

"Let's go see mommy," he said. "You can show her how you can talk."

She nodded and put her thumb in her mouth. Sawyer took Katie by the hand and they walked as fast as Katie's little legs could carry her. When they got back to the bedroom Sawyer lifted Katie onto the bed and she started tapping Kate on the shoulder.

"Sawyer," she mumbled. "I'm sleeping."

"It ain't me," he shook his head.

"Katie, how did you get up here?" she chuckled. Katie smiled at her and pointed at Sawyer.

"She just said dada," Sawyer told her.

"What?!" Kate exclaimed. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"What do you think we're doin'?" he said obviously.

"Who is that?" Kate asked the baby pointing at Sawyer. Katie didn't answer but started whining for Sawyer to pick her up. Sawyer sat down on the bed and put Katie on his lap.

"Who is that?" Kate asked again.

"Dada," Katie answered. Kate and Sawyer both started laughing and praising Katie. Shannon appeared in the doorway and looked at the family.

"I'm gonna get going," she said. "I'll see you later."

"I'll walk you to the door," Sawyer stated. He stood up and followed Shannon out the door.

"It's ok," she shook her head and whispered.

"I need to lock the door anyway," he shrugged.

"What about Katie?" she asked. "She's talking."

"She's saying dada," he smirked. "And yeah, it's awesome, but I think I can take 1 and a half minutes to say goodbye to her favorite aunt."

"Ok," she nodded. They walked to the front door and Sawyer nodded.

"Alright, see ya later," he replied. "Tomorrow?"

"Probably," she asnwered. "See ya."

She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He walked outside with her and shut the door behind him.

"Shannon," he started.

"I know," she sighed. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm leaving," she responded. "In a week...I'm moving. It's not really to do with you...my stepmom-she's offering me a job working with her and Boone. It's really good pay. But she wants me to take the business somewhere other than LA. I have to go to Chicago."

"Is that really what you want?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "But I could use the money. And if I don't get away from you Sawyer-"

He stepped toward her and kissed her gently. She pushed against him, and half wanted him to stop, but half wanted him to continue kissing her. She kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him. When they parted Sawyer took a deep breath.

"Bye Shan," he whispered.

"I have a question before I leave," she said. "Why don't you ever call me any nickname? I'm always just Shan...sometimes Barbie..."

"I dunno," he shrugged. "See you tomorrow."

"I lied," she responded. "I'm not leaving in a week. I'm leaving tomorrow night."

"Are you gonna say bye to Kate?" he asked. "I know that she would want you to."

"I might," she answered. "It depends. If I have time I will."

Shannon ran from the front steps and left the driveway. Her car wasn't there, so Sawyer figured she walked the 5 blocks. He shook his head and went back into the house. He went into the bedroom and saw Kate had already fallen asleep again. Katie was sleeping too, in Kate's arms. Sawyer smiled and took Katie out of Kate's arms as carefully as he could, trying not to wake either of them. When he succeeded he let out a breath.

"I'll be damned," he said quietly. Katie stirred in his arms and opened her eyes. Sawyer swore again, under his breath and walked back to the nursery. Katie had woken up, but she didn't cry. When he put her into her crib she whined loudly and put her arms up.

"Dada!" she said loudly. He was sure that Kate would have heard it over the baby monitor. He quickly picked her back up so that she didn't start making more noise to wake up Kate. He sat down in the chair and rocked her gently.

"You gotta go back to sleep," he whispered. "It's past your bedtime...and your mommy and I are tired."

He got her to go back to sleep and put her in the crib without waking her up. He stumbled back into the bedroom and got into bed. Kate rolled over so she was facing him and put her arms around him.

"You are so incredibly cute," she told him.

"I know," he smirked, and showed her his dimples.

"So if I'm not pregnant what are we gonna do?" she asked.

"Maybe if we just stopped trying it would happen," he shrugged. "I dunno...I think because our main objective is to get you pregnant, that's the reason it's not happening. If we made our objective to have fun and just love each other, maybe it would happen. It will happen when we least expect it."

"Dammit, I think you're probably right," she mumbled. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"You couldn't even if you tried," he responded.

"But I did," she corrected him. "What about when I was drinking?"

"Kate, you've been sober for over 6 months now...I think that's over with," he stated. "Now can we go to sleep. I'm so tired, I could just fall asleep mid-sentence."

"Yeah," she whispered.

**A/N: There isn't much of an A/N, just please please review. I know that there's another chapter after this, but I'd like reviews for this chapter too if you can!**


	49. Chapter 49

1 Month Later

Kate wasn't pregnant, but they were having a birthday party for Katie. Everyone had come except for Shannon. Sawyer thought that he was going to miss her a lot, but he really didn't. He missed her company and her friendship, but anything that he ever felt for her was completely gone. He knew the next time he saw her he wouldn't feel the need to kiss her, which eased his mind extremely. He was holding Katie on his lap as everyone sang happy birthday. Katie was now talking even more. She didn't have a huge vocabulary, but she could say dada, momma, and Back, which was her version of Jack. Hurley was still a tough name for her to say so she just called him Papi...Sawyer called him poppa bear which is what they figured Katie was trying to say. As they sang happy birthday Sawyer clapped Katie's hands together to the beat. There was one candle in the small cake.

"Blow it out," everyone told her as she looked at the flame. She started reaching for it, but Sawyer put her hands down.

"Katie, go-" Sawyer blew at Katie, and she giggled. "Do that."

She blew at him, but mostly just spit.

"Ok, do that to the cake," he chuckled, pointing at the cake. Katie had trouble grasping it so Kate and Sawyer both blew out the candle.

"Me?" Katie asked pointing at the cake.

"Go for it," Sawyer said. He took the candle away and let go of her hands. She grabbed the cake with both hands and got most of it on her face and in Sawyer's lap, rather than in her mouth, but everyone found it amusing. Sawyer picked up a small piece of cake and fed it to Katie. Katie started nodding and holding out her hand.

"Is it good?" Kate asked chuckling.

"Hmm," Katie nodded again and went at the cake again. Sawyer's hands were covered with cake too. He lifted Katie into her high chair and put the cake on the tray.

"I guess she likes it," he shrugged.

"Let me taste," Kate replied. Sawyer looked at her and then smashed his hand gently into her face. She let out a gasp and shoved him.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"You wanted to taste it," he answered. She picked a small piece of cake from Katie's cake and threw it at Sawyer. He opened his mouth and caught it. He put his arms up in victory.

"That was awesome," she smiled. She stepped toward him and kissed him.

"Yum," she continued. "That cake is pretty damn good if I do say so myself."

"Did you make it?" Juliet asked. She was leaning against Jack. Everyone had gotten used to Juliet, and they didn't have as much of a problem with her.

"Yes," she nodded. "And it took me 3 tries to get it right...the first 2 I burned."

"I thought you loved to cook," Hurley stated.

"I do love to cook," she responded. "But I can't bake to save my life. There's a difference. I can make all the appetizers, and main dishes, and side dishes that I want, but if I have to bake a desert? Forget it. I can do ice cream, that's about it."

"Dude, you know how to make ice cream?" Hurley asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer answered for her. "She can use an ice cream scoop pretty well. And she makes a pretty damn good dish too."

"Gross Sawyer," she pushed against him again.

"Well," he shrugged. "I'm just telling the truth."

There was a knock on the door, which surprised all of them because everyone Kate and Sawyer knew were already there. Sawyer walked to the door and opened it. There was a man standing in front of him holding the hand of a little girl. The little girl was hiding behind the man's leg.

"James Ford?" he asked.

"Yes," Sawyer nodded. "What's going on?"

"This is for you," he replied. He handed Sawyer a letter and put the little girl's hand in Sawyer's.

"What?" Sawyer asked. "What is going on?"

"It's all in the letter. I was just told to bring her to this address."

Sawyer sighed and walked into the house, still holding the little girl's hand.

"Hi," he started.

"Hi," she answered softly.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Clementine," she replied. She was a little over 2 years old. Sawyer looked down at her in shock and went back outside to stop the guy who had brought her there, but he was already gone. Sawyer looked at the envelope in his hand. It said TO CLEMENTINE. He sighed, and opened the letter.

Dear Clementine,  
I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world my darling. I'm so sorry that I can't be there with you, but your daddy will take care of you. Be a good girl my darling Clementine...and when you miss me think about your song and know that I'm always there. Love Mommy

Sawyer looked at the letter again and flipped it over. There was another short note to him.

Sawyer, I know you have a life, but Clementine needs you now more than anything. By the time you read this I'll already be gone. I wanted Clementine to be with family. Cassidy

Sawyer sighed deeply and handed the letter to Kate. Clementine looked up at Sawyer slightly confused.

"Where mommy?" she asked softly. Sawyer looked down at the 2 year old and picked her up.

"Me me dada!" Katie exclaimed, being jealous of Clementine. Sawyer hardly heard her. He was looking at the little girl in his arms. She started crying and wriggling from his arms.

"Mommy!" she sobbed. Sawyer set her down and took a deep breath. Kate looked at the group of people who were all staring at Sawyer.

"Maybe we should get going," Hurley said, breaking the silence. Kate nodded, and didn't wait for Sawyer to answer. Everyone started leaving. Sawyer stayed standing where he was in complete shock. He sat down in the middle of the floor and continued to stare at Clementine.

"Mommy," she said again, this time quietly. Sawyer stood back up and walked out of the room. Kate heard the bedroom door slam. Katie was looking at Jack who hadn't left yet.

"I'm gonna get going to I guess," he stated. "I guess I'll just sleep at my house tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Can you stay here for just a second," Kate replied. "I'm gonna go try to talk to him."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Come here Katie."

He picked up Katie, who was still covered with chocolate cake. She chuckled and put her hands on his cheeks.

"Oh," he started. "Thank you very much. Let's go wash your hands."

He walked with her over to the sink, and Clementine followed him. She looked up at him, with tears still glinting in her eyes.

"Me too," she said.

"You need to wash your hands too?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. Jack chuckled and he put Katie back down and picked up Clementine.

"Your name is Clementine huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said again.

"Like the song," he responded. "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Clementine."

Clementine giggled and looked at Jack interestedly.

Kate walked back to the bedroom and opened the door slowly. Sawyer was sitting on the floor. He looked up when he saw Kate and shook his head. She sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I really don't know what we're supposed to do," he mumbled.

"Well we can't just throw her on the streets and have her fend for herself. It's like Cassidy said in that note...she should be with family."

"Hmm," he shrugged. "Looks like we have the kid we've been trying for."

"I have a confession," she said with a small smile. "I was gonna tell you tonight, but I guess now's as good a time as any. I'm pregnant."

"You are," he chuckled. "Well this family has always had pretty impecable timing."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around him and laughed into his neck. He kissed her again and stood up. She stood up to and smiled at him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I love you," he replied. "We can do this. I guess we only need one more kid to hit that 4 kids limit."

She hugged him tightly and he lifted her up 5 inches off the ground. He kissed her on the cheek. They went back into the living room, and Jack was reading a story to Katie and Clementine. They were both smiling and leaning against him. Both Kate and Sawyer smiled widely and sat down on the couch next to Jack. Kate took Katie and put her on her lap, and Sawyer put Clementine on his lap.

A/N: Ok so I updated twice more because I'm insane...haha. I wanted to try to get 100 chapters by the time the season premiere happens, so please please review!!!


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: OK so as to TRY to not confuse you I'm gonna put the chapter number at the top of the chapter from now on so you might be able to keep track of which ones you've read, and which ones you haven't.**

**Chapter 50**

**1 Month Later**

Sawyer and Kate were getting used to having another baby. Clementine was pretty independent for only being 2 and a half. Sawyer hadn't exactly bonded with her yet, but he definitely could tell that she was his daughter. Clementine had been calling him Sawyer, since she wasn't quite ready to call him dad yet. It didn't really sound like Sawyer, but Kate and Sawyer knew what she was saying. Kate and Katie on the other hand had bonded quickly with Clementine. Clementine started asking Kate to read her bedtime stories and hug her goodnight. Katie and Clementine became friends and even started playing little games that Sawyer and Kate had no clue what they were doing. Jack had moved back into his own house, and Juliet moved in with him. Claire started coming over constantly so that the three kids could play together.

Sawyer walked through the door and was greeted by Katie clinging on to his leg. He bent over and picked her up.

"Hey shorty," he said. "What's up? Where's mommy?"

Katie put her thumb in her mouth and pointed to the couch. Kate was sitting on the couch with Clementine on her lap. She looked at Sawyer and hid her face into Kate.

"I don't get it," he mumbled. "Why doesn't she like me?"

"She's playing hide and seek Sawyer," Kate chuckled. "Cover your face and start counting."

He chuckled and put his hands to his face. He started counting and then walked toward where they were sitting he sat down next to Clementine and picked her up and tickled her. She laughed and so did Sawyer.

"So I decided something," he said quietly.

"What?" Kate asked with a smile.

"My daughters don't get to see me very often," he began. "Or you. I miss it. So today I asked for some time off."

"Can we really afford that Sawyer?" she asked.

"No," he answered honestly. "But Clementine likes you more than she likes me...and I'm pretty sure it's because you are here more and take care of her."

"I never expected you to be jealous like this," she smiled. "I don't think she likes me better."

"Let's put that one to the test," he replied.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"We each call her," he answered.

"Sawyer, she's not a puppy," Kate replied. "You're her daddy. She knows that."

"Then how come she doesn't call me daddy?" he asked.

"She's still getting used to you. I mean, I'm sure she doesn't understand why her mommy isn't here anymore. She's probably too young to even remember her mommy. In a couple years she won't know at all. We have to remind her."

"Momma?" Clementine asked looking up at Kate.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"She calls you momma?" Sawyer scoffed. He stood up and left the room. Kate felt a little guilty. She hadn't told Sawyer that Clementine had started calling her momma a couple days ago, but she still wasn't calling Sawyer dada.

"Momma," Clementine said again getting a little annoyed that Kate was staring after Sawyer.

"Yes," Kate answered.

"Read me," she replied.

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Go get a book."

"Kay!" Clementine said bouncing off the couch. "Kayee (Katie)...momma read."

Katie was sitting on the floor trying to build a tower with her blocks. Clementine got mad when Katie didn't follow her and she knocked over the tower that Katie had built. The tower was 10 blocks high and they went all over the floor.

"No!" Katie whined. "No, Em (Clem)! Mama."

Kate stood up and picked up Katie. Katie started crying onto Kate's shoulder.

"I got an idea," Kate whispered. "Let's go cheer up daddy. He's sad."

"Say (Sawyer) sad?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Let's go."

She carried Katie, and took Clementine by the hand. They walked back to the bedroom and went inside. Sawyer was coming out of the room.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I'm being dumb."

"I'd be pretty upset too," she admitted. "I hope that you're not mad."

"I'm not mad," he shook his head. Kate put Clementine onto his lap and she looked at him. He picked her up and they all went back into the living room. They sat down on the couch and Katie started reaching for Sawyer.

"Dada!" she exclaimed. "Dada me!"

"Daddy's holding Clementine right now," Kate told her quietly.

"You dada," Clementine said pointing her finger at Sawyer.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I'm your daddy."

"Momma read," she replied looking back at Kate. As Kate read Clementine fell asleep in Sawyer's arms. He looked down at the little girl and then looked at Kate. She smiled softly and took him by the hand.

That night they were laying in bed together. Sawyer had his arms wrapped around Kate's middle. His hands were gently moving across her belly. She turned over and faced him.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked.

"This house is being over taken by girls, so I'm kinda hoping for a boy to balance it out," he responded. "But I really don't care. I just know it's gonna be crazy with 3 kids under the age of 3."

"Well I know that by the time the baby comes, both of the kids are gonna want to help."

"Yeah, but they won't be much help," he answered. "I mean I guess it's a nice guesture or whatever, but I don't really see an almost 3 year old and a 1 and a half year old being able to help much.

"When's her birthday?" she asked. "Clementine's I mean."

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Cassidy never told me."

"Yeah, but she sent you her birth certificate and all her medical records and stuff. Didn't you read them?"

"No," he laughed. "Not all of it. Why did you?"

"No," she shook her head. "But I do know her birthday."

"What is it then?" he asked.

"June 5th," she answered. "That will be her 3rd birthday...so she'll be 3 by the time the baby comes.

"Well that's good to know," he said. "See? Even you know more than me about my own kid. I'm pathetic. That's why I'm staying home for a week."

"A week?" she asked. "It's not going to take you just a week to get to know your baby."

They both heard Clementine crying. Sawyer got up and went to her room, which was Jack's old room. He lifted her out of the crib and looked at her.

"Hey," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Daddy," she said quietly, and snuggled in his arms. He let out a breath and kissed her on the top of the head and lifted her back into the crib.

"Hugs," she stated.

"I just hugged you," he replied.

"Hugs!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Well alright," he responded. "You don't gotta yell at me."

He picked her back up and gave her a tight hug. He heard Katie crying in the other room and figured that Kate would get it. He sat down in the chair with Clementine and started stroking her hair gently. She put her thumb in her mouth and put her head against his chest. She saw that she was dozing off to sleep and started standing slowly.

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed. Sawyer quickly stood up and put Clementine down. She woke up, but stayed quiet. She watched Sawyer interestedly as he ran from the room. He went into Katie's room where Kate was holding her and bouncing her.

"Shh," she whispered into the baby's ear. "You're gonna be ok."

"What happened?" he asked.

"She stopped breathing," Kate replied. "She was crying, but I decided just to let her for a minute. She stopped and it was just too quiet. So I came in here and she wasn't moving or breathing. When I screamed your name and picked her up she woke up and started crying again...but Sawyer-"

"Ok," he whispered. "It's alright Kate. She's ok now right?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I would feel better-"

"I'll call the doc," he replied. He went into the kitchen and started dialing Jack's number. When Jack picked up the phone Sawyer knew that he had woken him up. Jack said he'd be over quickly. Sawyer hung up the phone and took a deep breath. He felt someone touch his leg and nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked down and saw Clementine staring up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Oh," he whispered. "Did we scare you?"

"Yeah," she sobbed. He bent down and picked her up. She sobbed onto his shoulder. He could feel her rubbing her nose on his shirt. He rocked back and forth on his heels. He walked to the front door and unlocked it for Jack, and then went back into Katie's room. Kate was sitting in the rocking chair sobbing and rocking Katie. He squatted in front of her still holding Clementine.

"It's alright Freckles," he said quietly. "Jack's coming."

"Jack isn't a real doctor," she informed him.

"No," he shook his head. "But he has known Katie since she was born, so he's as good as any other...if he says we'll take her to the emergency room ok. but I don't want to freak out over nothing."

"Nothing Sawyer!" she yelled. "She could have died! She stopped breathing!"

Both Katie and Clementine started crying from being scared of Kate's loudness. Sawyer stood back up and looked down at Kate. He squeezed her hand tightly. Jack walked into the room. Kate stood up quickly and handed Katie to him.

"I'm gonna go see if I can get Clem back to sleep," Sawyer whispered.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "You go do that Sawyer. Just forget about your baby dying."

Sawyer shook his head and put Clementine down.

"Wait right there darlin'," he said quietly. "Kate. Look, I know you're scared. I am too. But don't you DARE accuse me of not caring about Katie! Katie is my baby. I barely know Clem, but she's my daughter too, and I'm not gonna just let her be alone and scared when she doesn't understand what's going on. Now calm the hell down."

He stalked out of the room and brought Clementine back to her room. He sat down in the chair, still shaking with anger.

"Kayee, kay?" Clementine asked.

"Hmm, maybe you understand more than I thought," he mumbled. "Yeah. Katie's ok. Jack's gonna take care of her ok."

"Kay daddy," she answered.

"Do you know that I love when you call me daddy?" he asked.

"Yep," she nodded. He let out a chuckle. He was beginning to feel better already. He knew that Katie was going to be ok. Clementine fell asleep in Sawyer's arms quicker than he thought she would. He stood up and put her in her crib. He walked back into Katie's room and sat down in the rocking chair. Jack was still examining Katie as best he could, and Kate was standing in the corner crying and biting her finger nail. Sawyer stood back up and walked toward her. She started to push against him, but he hugged her tightly and refused to let go. She gave in and hugged him back.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. Of course you have to take care of Clementine."

"Yeah," he whispered. "But I still love Katie so much. You know that."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know. Jack, do you know what's wrong yet?"

"She seems perfectly fine to me," he replied. "I mean her pulse is as normal as it ever will be. And she seems to be breathing fine now."

"Why did she stop breathing Jack?" Kate asked.

"Maybe she didn't," Jack shook his head. "I mean...how much sleep have you been getting lately?"

"With two babies under the age of 3," she sighed. "Not much. What are you saying, that I'm crazy?"

"Well, maybe she wasn't breathing for like a second, but that happens sometimes to babies. She obviously woke right up when you started yelling for Sawyer and when you picked her up."

"Yeah," she nodded. "She did. But Jack...she wasn't breathing. I couldn't see her chest moving up and down. I was just scared."

"Well, it probably was scary, but she's alright now," he stated.

"You don't think we should go to the hospital anyway?" she asked. "I mean, just in case."

"No," he shook his head. "I think Katie will be just fine."

**A/N: OK kind of short chapter, but I'm still doing the two chapter thing. So please review this one and then go to the next one.**


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: OK so for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, I've been posting two chapters at a time, so make sure that you've read chapter 50, before you move on to this chapter which is chapter 51. I did that yesterday too, so you might want to go back and make sure that you didn't miss a chapter, b/c things will be a hell of a lot less confusing. Sorry if this confuses you, but I hope that you still continue to read and of course those reviews are always nice too!**

**Chapter 51**

**2 Months Later**

The Ford house was getting better and worse all at the same time. Sawyer made sure that he was always home in time to spend some time with the girls before they had to go to bed. Both the kids helped each other talk more, which Kate didn't know if it was good or bad. She was only 3 and a half months pregnant, but there was already a bump forming. She felt like it was bigger than the bump she had when she was pregnant with Katie, but Sawyer continued to tell her she was crazy. She was becoming more emotional by the hour it seemed to Sawyer. One minute she would be totally fine, and the next she'd be sobbing worse than Katie or Clementine. Katie hadn't had another episode of not breathing which eased Kate, Sawyer and Jack's mind greatly.

Sawyer was waiting at home for Kate to get back from the store. The kids were sitting on the floor playing another one of their games. Sawyer watched them out of the corner of his eye as he read a book.

"Daddy," Clementine started. She walked over to him and put her hands on his legs. He looked over his book at her and raised his eyebrows.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"Read to me," Clementine stated. "And Katie."

They were all relived when Clementine learned how to say Katie better. When ever she said Kayee they all thought she was trying to say 'OK'. Sawyer smiled at her and nodded.

"Alright," he responded. "Go get a book."

"That one!" she exclaimed. He looked down at the book in his hands. It was To Kill A Mockingbird.

"No," he shook his head. "This one is a grown-up book. Go get me a different one."

"No daddy that one!" she said again.

"I am not reading you this book," he answered. "This one is too long anyway. Let's read this one."

He bent over and picked up a Dr. Seuss book. Katie came crawling over to him and put her arms up for him to pick her up. He picked her up and put her next to him. Then he picked Clementine up and put him on his other side. Katie had been walking for almost 5 months now, but she still liked to crawl better. Kate was convinced there was something wrong with her. She said that if Katie wasn't walking more by the time the new baby was born she was taking her to the doctor once and for all.

Sawyer read the girls 3 books before Kate finally got home. They greeted her at the door and were reaching for anything they could get their hands on.

"Sawyer you mind helping me?" she asked, slightly exassperated. He let out a chuckle and walked over to where the girls were standing. He picked up Clementine who was taller and thus causing a little more problems for Kate.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Mommy!"

"Clem," Kate sighed. "Not now. Mommy is busy. I'll come play with you and Katie as soon as I'm done."

"Ok?" Sawyer asked. "Go play."

Katie and Clementine both ran back to where their toys were scattered all over the floor. Kate sighed again and started putting the groceries away. Sawyer walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh," he started. "I can barely get my arms around you."

He was obviously teasing and exaggerating, but Kate wasn't really in the mood. She shrugged him off of her and continued to empty the bags.

"You know," she sighed. "It would have been nice to come home to a cleaner house."

"Kate, do you know how old you sound right now?" he asked. "We're still young. I mean we're 20 years old and we're acting like we're in our 30's."

"Well Sawyer, when we have two kids, a house, and bills to pay it's kinda like we are," she answered with a half scoff, half sigh. "Can you at least put the ice cream away before it melts all over the place?"

"Well if it melts we can use it tonight," he said quietly, stepping toward her.

"Sawyer, stop," she sighed. "The kids are sitting right there watching us."

"It's not like they haven't seen us kiss before," he answered. He kissed her softly and she backed away.

"And that crack about my stomach being too big, was not funny," she stated, turning back to her groceries.

"Oh come on Kate," he replied into her ear. "You know I was kidding."

"Yeah," she responded. "But I didn't find your joke to be funny. Now let me go."

"No," he shook his head. He turned her around and kissed her again.

"Ok," she said closing her eyes. "At least let me put the groceries away first, and then we can go back to the bedroom."

"That isn't what I was tryin' to do," he half chuckled.

"Yeah yeah, a likely story, but-" she stepped closer to him and whispered into his ear. "Now you got me goin'."

"Well," he smirked, obviously very proud of himself. "But who will watch the rugrats?"

"They can be alone for five minutes," she shrugged with a smile.

"Oh," he shook his head. "That one was below the belt Freckles."

"Hah, literally."

"Wow, it looks like I have a great influence on you," he stated, stepping toward her again. She kissed him softly and lifted herself onto the counter. She wrapped her arms around him, but kept her legs dangling over the edge of the counter. Neither of them heard the front door open, but the kids did.

"Jack!" Clementine exclaimed. She ran toward him and he picked her up.

"Hey," he chuckled. Kate and Sawyer still didn't seem to be paying attention to what was happening. They had both heard Clementine yell Jack, but she did that every time she saw the picture of Jack, Kate, and Sawyer sitting on the end table next to the couch.

"Where are mommy and daddy?" Jack asked. Clementine pointed and started giggling. Jack smiled and nodded. He walked toward them and tapped Sawyer on the shoulder. Sawyer whipped around and they both wiped their mouths.

"Hey," Kate said, embarrassed. She hopped off of the counter and started putting things away again. Sawyer smirked at Jack and sat down at the kitchen table. Clementine came running toward him and latched onto his leg. He looked down at her and picked her up. Katie ran over to him too and put her amrs up to tell her it was her turn. He bent over and picked her up to. Katie pushed at Clementine who immediately started whining.

"Hey," Sawyer said sternly. "You can share my lap, stop it Katie."

Katie started whining, feeling that Sawyer was mad at her. Clementine moved around on Sawyer's lap, trying to get the majority of his lap, without actually pushing Katie off of it.

"No Crem!" Katie exclaimed. "Mommy!"

"Sawyer," Kate sighed. "If you don't-"

"Shut them up," he continued her sentence. "Yeah yeah I know the drill...we're not gonna have fun tonight."

"Speaking of which, Jack do you mind watching the girls for a couple minutes while Sawyer and I go back to the bedroom," she asked, stepping toward Sawyer.

"Well Kate, now you're just fooling yourself," Jack chuckled. "We all know how long you're gonna be back there...but I'm gonna stop talking now so that I don't embarrass you or myself."

Sawyer set both girls down on the floor and stood up. Jack took the girls by the hands and started walking out the door.

"No Jack!" Katie exclaimed. "Stay here!"

"You can stay here," Kate nodded. "I mean if you want to Jack. The walls are pretty solid."

"That isn't what you used to say when Wayne and Diane were living here."

"Can we not talk about that part of my life?" she asked. "I mean it's been a rough few years, but I'd rather not think about that as I'm going back into the bedroom with my husband."

"Sorry," he shrugged. "Anyway...I seem to remember you not having very thick walls."

"Well they're thick, and we're quiet," she replied.

"Yeah when we have to be," Sawyer whispered. Kate shoved Sawyer backwards and scoffed. She wasn't mad in the least, but her face turned 8 different shades of red before settling on a deep maroon color. Jack looked embarrassed too and picked up Katie.

"Ok girls," he stated. "We're gonna go play at my house for a while, and then we'll come back here for dinner ok?"

They both agreed that they would go to Jack's happily and play there. When Jack told them that Juliet was there too they were even more excited. When they left and the door was shut tight Sawyer looked at Kate with a smile. She walked toward him and sat down on his lap. He kissed her and then stood up. They went back to the bedroom and laid down. Sawyer ran his hand across her face and down to her belly.

"I'm so tired," she whispered.

"You are?" he asked. "But I thought-"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know. I just all the sudden feel like I could sleep for days."

He kissed her to see if it would revive her, but she closed her eyes and snuggled against him.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm just so tired. Is that ok?"

"Of course it is Freckles," he chuckled. "And you should sleep. You gotta get some sleep for that baby."

"Which one," she mumbled, already starting to fall asleep.

"The one growin' inside of you," he said with a laugh. "Which one did you think I meant?"

He kissed her on the forehead and went out into the living room. He called Jack and told him that Kate was sleeping, and to give them a little more time.

"What do you mean she's sleeping?" Jack asked.

"Well, we kissed and then we went back to lay down and she said the she felt really tired, so I wanted to give her some time to sleep," Sawyer answered. "I wanted to let you know that she was sleeping, but you should probably stay over at your house because the girls will wake her up if they're here."

"Are you still gonna want to be alone when she wakes up?" Jack asked.

"I dunno," he replied.

**4 Hours Later**

Sawyer got Kate to wake up once, but she fell right back to sleep. He was beginning to worry. He called Jack and told him what was going on. Jack came right over and went into the bedroom.

"Didn't you think that there could be something wrong after the first 2 hours?" Jack asked.

"Well she hasn't been sleeping," Sawyer shrugged. "Between Katie, and Clementine, and the pregnancy she's just been staying awake a lot. So I just figured that she was really tired and needed it."

"We gotta take her to the hospital," Jack whispered. "There might be something wrong with the baby."

Sawyer looked at Jack with wide eyes and shook his head.

"This isn't happening," he said. "It's a dream. In a couple seconds I'm gonna wake up and Kate's gonna be laying next to me."

"It's not a dream Sawyer, but I have to take her now. Why don't you stay here with the kids?" Jack asked.

"Hell no," he shook his head. "I'm coming too. Juliet can watch the kids."

There was no time to argue. On the way to the hospital Jack drove while Sawyer sat in the back seat holding Kate in his arms. He kept whispering nonsense words to himself and continued to run his fingers through Kate's hair.

**A/N: Don't worry...ok. Review please!**


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

Sawyer was sitting in the hospital chairs with his arms folded across his chest. He had already been yelled at 4 times by the nurses kicking him out of the room where Kate was being worked on. He was staring at a woman sitting in front of him with her head down. She looked like she was about to faint. Jack walked over to him and sat down.

"Where have you been?" Sawyer mumbled.

"To see if they'd tell me anything."

"You think cuz your daddy was a big shot, and you're in doctor school they're just gonna give you information?"

"Did you already try that?" Jack said forcing a small smile.

"I said the Christian Shephard was my dad and they didn't seem too impressed," he shrugged.

"Mr. Ford?" a doctor came out holding a clipboard. Sawyer quickly stood up and started walking toward the doctor.

"Is she alright?" Sawyer asked. "What about the baby?"

"Both your wife, and the baby are ok," the doctor nodded. "We're gonna have her stay here for a couple days. Now you said that you have two other babies, is that correct?"

"Yeah," Sawyer whispered. "But what does that have to do with anything."

"She needs her rest," he continued. "She's been extra tired lately because you're other children aren't letting her sleep. She also should be taking naps and really taking care of herself, or she's going to lose the baby."

"Whoa," he stated quickly. "What do you mean she'll lose the baby?"

"When she got here she was bleeding a little bit," the doctor sighed. "It's a normal thing for pregnancies to have a little spotting, but this is kind of early. We just want to make sure she's taking care of herself."

"She's obsessed with it," he told the doctor. "She takes those vitamin things, and eats all the foods that the docs recommended and she takes care of herself. I mean..."

"Sir, it's ok," the doctor continued. "She's alright for now, but she really needs to start taking it easy."

"She's still got 6 more months," Sawyer argued. "Why is there all this problem with that now? I don't get why there's such a problem. This didn't happen last time."

"Well, with the third pregnancy things can get-"

"Second," Sawyer interrupted. "This is our second baby."

"Oh," he replied. "I thought she said something about losing a baby a couple years ago."

Sawyer turned bright red. He had completley forgotten about Kate being pregnant and losing the baby. It wasn't that he forgot about it, but after everything else that had happened over the past year and a half, he hadn't thought about it. The doctor looked at Sawyer for conformation.

"Yeah," he whispered. "She did. But why-"

"Well since she already has history of a miscarriage we need to continue to be careful ok?"

"Ok," he nodded. "Now can I go see her...please."

"Yes," the doctor answered. He lead Sawyer back into the hospital room. When Sawyer got there Kate was laying with her back to the door. He walked toward her and touched her shoulder gently. She flipped over and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were wet from tears. Sawyer bent down and hugged her.

"Why is this happening?" she whispered.

"I dunno," he mumbled. "But you're gonna be ok. You and the baby."

"I want Katie," she stated. "I don't want to be away from her for 4 days."

"I can bring her to visit tomorrow," he reassured her. He brushed his hand across her forehead and kissed her again. "Everything will work out Freckles."

"Ok," she nodded. She took his hand in hers. "Will you stay here with me?"

"I can stay for a little bit," he answered. "But you know that I can't stay the night. I gotta get home to the girls."

"No you don't," she chuckled snuggling into him.

"Hmm," he mumbled. "I wish I could stay here with ya, but you know that Clementine will be pissed if at least one of us isn't home to tuck her in tonight."

"Ok," she whispered. "Will you bring the girls to come see me tomorrow?"

"I already said I would," he replied.

_3 Days Later_

Kate was going to come home that day. Sawyer went to go get her at the hospital and the girls stayed at home with Jack. They loved hanging out with Jack almost as much as hanging out with Kate and Sawyer. Sawyer pulled into the driveway and looked over at Kate. She smiled and shrugged.

"I guess everything's fine now," she said quietly. He reached his hand over and touched her face.

"You just stay healthy for that baby," he stated. She leaned toward him and kissed him. They got out of the car and went inside. There was a large banner that said "Welcome Home Mommy". There were foot prints all over it. Jack was standing with the girls. They both ran toward Kate and Sawyer. Kate bent down to pick up Katie and Sawyer stopped her.

"No," he replied. "You're not supposed to lift anything."

"Over 20 pounds," she corrected him.

"And Katie is exactly 20 pounds. We weighed her last night to be sure."

Kate scoffed loudly and bent down to pick up Clementine.

"Uh uh," Sawyer shook his head. "Clementine is even heavier. It's ok. When the baby is born you can do all the lifting you want."

"That's 6 months from now," she answered.

"I know," he nodded. "But the doctor said to take it easy for a while. So I'll be getting up with the kids at night."

"Hmm, works for me," she shrugged. "Can I at least hold them in my lap?"

"Yeah, come here," he said. They walked over to the couch and Sawyer lifted Katie onto Kate's lap.

"Mommy," she whispered.

"Yeah...hey. How are you?" she asked. "Did you and Clementine behave?"

Clementine crawled up onto the couch and sat down next to Kate.

"Yes," she nodded. "We good."

"Ooh, I missed you," Kate squeezed Katie and then hugged Clementine too. "I hope you guys were ok."

"They were fine," Jack replied. "They never cried from missing you I don't think."

"Oh, bad idea Jack," Sawyer stated. "You better change your mind or we're gonna have a famous Kate Austen mood swing."

"My name," Kate began with a scoff. "Is Kate Ford."

"Well damn," he shrugged. "I guess you're right. I'm sorry about that one Mrs. Ford."

"You better be," she answered.

**6 Months Later**

Sawyer had been staying home from work lately to help Kate with the two kids. He was in the kitchen making lunch for all three girls. Clementine was sitting at the table telling him a story. He wasn't really paying attention, but every now and then he made noises that made it seem like he was. He put the plates down on the table and called Kate and Katie to the table.

"Daddy," Clementine began.

"Yes," he nodded.

"What's that?" she pointed to the peanut butter crackers he had given to Katie.

"That's part of Katie's lunch," he answered.

"Want some!" she exclaimed.

"No," he shook his head. "That's peanut butter. Peanut butter makes you very sick, and I'm not in the mood for going to the hospital."

"Um, Sawyer," Kate started.

"Yeah."

"You're not gonna get that wish," she breathed.

"What happened?" he asked.

"My water just broke."

**A/N: Ok, I know that jumped ahead a lot, but I didn't really have any more ideas. I hope you liked the chapter even though it was kind of short. Read the next chapter too! And please please review!**


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

Sawyer was holding Kate's hand tightly. She was squeezing it so tightly he thought that she was going to break it. He got his hand away from her and looked at her strangely.

"What?" she asked.

"Is your goal to break it off?" he questioned.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Ow! Gimme your hand dammit."

"Ok," he chuckled. "Here. Squeeze away."

She squeezed it again, but this time not as roughly. The nurse came in and looked at Kate's vitals and then left again quickly. Moments later she was back with the doctor and they started whispering. This began to annoy both Kate and Sawyer. Kate was too busy concentrating on the contractions that seemed to be coming one on top of the other, but Sawyer was staring at the doctor and nurse.

"You mind tellin' us what you're being so mysterious about?" he asked. "If you wanted to tell secrets, you probably should have stayed outside."

"Sorry Mr. Ford, you're right," the doctor replied. "Ok Kate, now the contractions are very close together."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "What was your first clue sherlock? Now can I get some damn pain killers, like now."

"I'm sorry," he began. "It's too late now for that. You're going to have to start pushing, but first...Kate the baby is breech, which means that it's coming out butt first. I'm going to have to manually turn the baby around and then you're gonna push and you'll be a mom again."

"Ok what does that mean you're going to turn the baby around?" Sawyer asked.

"Exactly what he said Sawyer," she sighed. "Just hold my hand and look at me."

He looked down at her and adjusted his hand in hers. He smiled at her, and she couldn't help but force a smile back.

"Ok Kate," the doctor stated. "Get ready to push ok." Kate pushed and then stopped before the doctor told her it was time to stop. She looked at Sawyer and shook her head.

"I can't," she stated. "I can't do this."

"Kate, that's exactly what you said when Katie was born, and you did it then, so you can do it now too," he replied.

"But I didn't remember it hurting this much," she said, through the tears streaming down her face.

"Well, I can tell ya right now, if it were up to the men to have the babies, the world would not have any people, and we definitely wouldn't have any kids ok," he said quietly. "Now you can do this. You have to do this."

"One more big one Kate, and it'll be done," the doctor said. Sawyer smiled again and Kate nodded. She pushed once more and both Kate and Sawyer heard the baby crying. Kate started crying too, and Sawyer bent down to kiss her on the forehead. He hadn't let go of her hand and she hadn't stopped squeezing it. The doctor brought the baby over to them and put it gently in Kate's arms.

"What is it?" Kate said still crying.

"A boy," the doctor smiled.

"Look at him Sawyer," she chuckled.

"He's pretty damn cute," he smiled. "Looks just like me."

"He does," she nodded. The baby had stopped crying and was sleeping contently already. Kate touched his cheeks softly with the back of her hand and he smiled widely, with his eyse still closed.

"He's already smiling," she said in awe. "It took Katie at least 2 days."

Kate was in her hospital room resting, but not sleeping. Sawyer walked in with Katie and Clementine. Clementine climbed up onto the bed and cuddled next to Kate. Katie was too short to climb up herself and started whining as she tried unsuccessfully. Sawyer chuckled and lifted her up on to the bed.

"Kate, I have a surprise for you," he said. He poked his head back out of the room and waved his hand in a 'come in' motion. Kate sat up further and anticipated whoever was going to come in. She figured that it would be Jack, or Hurley or any number of her friends. Sam walked into the room and smiled at her.

"Daddy!" Kate exclaimed. She nearly jumped out of the bed, but both Sam and Sawyer got to her in time and stopped her. Kate hugged her dad tightly. Sam kissed the top of Kate's head and looked down at the two little girls sitting on either side of Kate.

"I'm a grandpa," he half asked.

"Yeah," she said, with tears glinting in her eyes. "I'm a mommy."

"That's weird," he told her.

"I know," she sniffled.

"Hey girls," Sawyer began. "You wanna go see your baby brother?"

"What name?" Clementine asked, hoping off the bed and jumping up into Sawyer's arms.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "We gotta figure that out as a family. You got any ideas?"

"Em-o!" Katie exclaimed.

"Em-o?" Sawyer asked, excitedly. "That sounds good. Kate how's the name Em-o sound."

"Elmo Sawyer," Kate corrected him.

"No," he shook his head. "I distinctly heard her say Em-o."

"Hey, no grandkid of mine is gonna be named after a red puppet," Sam argued.

"I got an idea Sawyer," Kate said. "How about Samuel?"

"Katie," Sam whispered.

"What?" Katie asked.

"Not you," he said with a smile. "Mommy."

"Feckles!" Clementine stated.

"That's Freckles," Sawyer said, emphasizing the first syllable. Clementine shrugged. "Ok, let's go see your brother now, and leave mommy to talk to grandpa. Can you say grandpa Katie?"

"No," she shook her head. Clementine who had turned 3, a couple months ago looked up at Sawyer and crossed her arms.

"Gan-pa," she said.

"Oh, that was pretty good Clem," he told her. "Now lets go."

"Hey Sawyer," Kate waved him over. He walked over to her and she pulled him into a hug. "Tell them that his name is Samuel James."

"Alright," he replied kissing her on the lips quickly. "I'll give you guys some time, how much do you want?"

"Dad, do you want to move in with us?" Kate asked.

"Is there room?" he questioned back.

"We can do an add on," she offered.

"Yeah," Sawyer stated. "With the millions that we have in that shoe box under the bed."

"I don't want to impose anyway," Sam shook his head.

"Dad, I want you to come live with us," she answered. "I spent almost my whole life with you coming and going...how long are you gonna be here this time?"

"I'm not gonna have to go back Katie," he responded. "They have me running the offices in LA."

"Well then stay here with us," she replied. "Please daddy. I miss you. Can he stay with us Sawyer?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "I don't care."

Kate smiled wider than she had in a long time. Sawyer was just happy to make her happy. He picked up Katie and took Clementine by the hand and they left to see the newest member of the Ford family.

**A/N: Please please review!!! **


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

_1 Week Later_

Katie and Clementine were on the floor both crying. Kate was sitting on the couch trying her best to tune everything out. She was holding the baby, he was crying too. Big Sam had gone to the store, and Sawyer was taking a shower. Clementine pushed Katie over and Katie started crying harder. Kate took a deep breath and stood up.

"Ok!" she exclaimed. "Shut up! Just shut up!"

Clementine looked up at Kate in awe and started crying harder too.

"Hate you mommy!" she yelled. She ran from the room and slammed her door. Kate sat down and groaned loudly. The baby was crying harder now too. Kate bounced him gently.

"Shh," she said soothingly. "Sammy it's ok. Shh. I'm sorry I yelled."

Katie was crying loudly too. She put her arms up.

"Uppy," she sobbed. "Momma uppy."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I'm holding Sam right now."

"No!" she screamed. She started pulling at Kate's legs and hitting her. It wasn't hurting Kate, but it was annoying her.

"Katie you better stop," she warned.

"No mommy," Katie replied. "Uppy! Uppy!"

"Stop it!" Kate yelled back. Katie shoved at Kate and ran from the room too. She went into her own room and shut the door as hard as she could, which wasn't very hard. Kate took a deep breath and looked down at the baby.

"It's ok Sammy," she whispered. "The loud noises are gone now."

He was still crying, Kate was exhausted. She walked back to her own room which is where Sammy had been sleeping while they gathered money and planned the addition to the house. Kate set Sammy on the bed and looked at him. She smiled and laid down next to him. She could heard Clementine throwing a temper tantrum in her room. She could hear items hitting the walls and door, but she didn't care. At this point she just wanted to watch Sammy. He had calmed down and was already starting to fall asleep. Kate heard a loud crash and then an ear splitting scream. She sat up quickly and picked up Sammy. She quickly put the baby in his crib and ran toward's Clementine's room. She opened the door and saw Clementine laying on the floor crying. Kate ran toward her and knelt next to her.

"I fell," she sobbed. "Head hurts. Head hurts."

"Ok," Kate whispered. "Come here."

Kate picked her up and held her on her lap. Sawyer appeared in the doorway, he was half naked, and his hair was still dripping. Clementine cried in Kate's arms and Kate closed her eyes. She felt partly responsible.

"What happened?" Sawyer asked, kneeling next to Kate.

"Daddy," Clementine sobbed. She let go of Kate and held her arms out for Sawyer to take her. Kate let go and Sawyer picked her up. Kate touched the back of Clementine's head gently.

"Are you ok?" she whispered.

"No!" Clementine yelled. "Go way Mommy!"

"Why are you mad at mommy?" Sawyer asked softly.

"Mommy mean!" she exclaimed. Sawyer sighed and touched the back of Clementine's head too.

"No daddy!" she exclaimed. "Head hurt!"

"Your head hurts?" he asked. "Ok. Come here."

He walked with her over to the bed and laid her down.

"I'm gonna look at your head ok?" he asked.

"No!" she whined. "No daddy."

Kate sighed and laid down on the bed next to Clementine. Clementine frowned at her and flipped over to face Sawyer. Kate sighed again and shook her head.

"Ok Clem," Sawyer started. "One of us is going to look at your head and the other one is going to hold your hands and tell you what a big girl you are...which do you want?"

"You," she whispered softly.

"Me what?" he asked. "Do you want me to look at your head?"

She nodded and Sawyer turned her back over to face Kate. Kate took her by the hands and squeezed them softly.

"It's ok," Kate whispered. "Daddy won't hurt you."

Sawyer gently moved Clementine's hair to the side to look at her head. There was a small bump, but it wasn't bleeding. Sawyer kissed her softly.

"Ok," he said. "All done. Now, Clem...I got a question for ya. How did this happen?"

"I fell," she stated quietly, turning toward him. "Mommy mean."

"I yelled at her," Kate mumbled. "If I hadn't yelled the girls would both still be playing in the living room. This never would have happened."

"Kate," he whispered. "I really don't think that's what happened. The girls were crying right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I shouldn't have yelled at her."

"Clem were you jumping on the bed?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she answered. "Mommy mean."

"Did mommy push you off the bed?" he asked, winking discreetly at Kate.

"Yeah," Clementine nodded.

"Now Clementine, I know that isn't true," Sawyer shook his head. "Mommy loves you and she would never hurt you."

Katie appeared in the doorway. She was still crying, but this time, much softer. Kate could tell that she was crying from being sad, not angry. Kate held her arms out and Katie ran toward her. She jumped into Kate's arms.

"What's the matter?" Kate asked quietly.

"Clem hurt?" Katie asked.

"Yeah," Kate said. "But she's ok. I promise."

"Sammy sad," Katie told Kate. Kate stood up and put Katie down on the floor. She went back into the bedroom and sure enough Sammy was crying. Kate picked him up and he almost immediately quieted down. Kate walked back into Clementine's bedroom and sat down in the chair to rock Sammy. Clementine looked at Sawyer who was giving her a stern look.

"Clementine, did you fall of your bed because you were doing something bad?" he asked.

"Mad," she nodded.

"Ok," he said quietly. "Well I'm sorry that you got hurt, but I think you're ok. Do you feel sick or anything? Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Alright," he replied. "I want you to play in here for a while now ok?"

"Me...me daddy," Katie said raising her hand.

"Yeah, you...you can stay too," he said.

"Where is everyone?!" Sam yelled through the house. He walked into Clementine's bedroom and found them. Katie walked toward him and clung onto his leg.

"Uppy," she said.

"Uppy?" he asked. "Ok."

He picked her up and threw her into the air. Kate gasped loudly as Katie's head came close to the ceiling.

"Dad," she stated, putting her hand to her chest. "Be careful. We don't need another head injury tonight."

"What do you mean another head injury?" Sam asked.

"Head hurts gan-pa," Clementine answered.

"You hurt your head huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "All better."

"Well that's good," he replied.

That night after it took Sawyer and Kate 2 hours to get the 3 kids to all go to sleep, Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed. Sawyer put his arm loosely around Kate and kissed her neck gently.

"Don't," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"We have 3 hellish kids," she grumbled. "I'm really not in the mood for another one."

"But you said you wanted 4 kids," he argued with her. "What happened to that?"

"I changed my mind," she stated turning toward him. "If Sammy turns out anything like his sisters, I'm gonna lose my mind."

"Well I hate to tell you this, especially since it'll probably only get me a smack in the face, but those girls are a lot like their mother," he told her.

"Clementine isn't even mine, so I don't see how that's possible," she shrugged.

"Because you've been home with her for 9 months straight," he answered. "Some of your personality has rubbed off on her. Sammy can be like me."

"Oh, just what we need, a beligerent cowboy," she scoffed.

"Well, you can't fool me Kate," he shook his head. "I know that you love me, and I know you love the fact that I'm some beligerent cowboy."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I guess I kind of do."

She kissed him softly and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'll be glad when Sam-miester has his own room," he said.

"Me too," she smirked.

"So is Jack coming over to help you tomorrow," he asked. "I have to go back to work if we're gonna afford this add-on to the house."

"Ok, don't be mad," she started.

"Ooh," he said. "I hate conversations that begin with that."

"I kind of told Jack about what our dilema was, and he offered us his house," she said. "I mean that house is completely paid off and it has enough rooms for all of us, including another baby, if in fact I change my mind back."

"No," he shook his head. "We don't take hand outs. Besides, don't you want this house to have some good memories for you."

"It already does Sawyer," she answered. "Besides...I already told Jack that we would take him up on it. And he's gonna move in here with Juliet."

"What about when they want 4 or 5 kids?" he asked. "Are they gonna do the add-on anyway?"

"Jack doesn't want kids," she shook her head.

"Yeah, well he says that now," Sawyer replied. "But if he and Juliet are anything like us they'll probably end up with a kid anyway."

"Well, he said his limit would be 1," she responded.

"What if Juliet decides 1 isn't enough. Whether Jack likes it or not, he won't be able to say no to her," he stated. "At least I couldn't say no."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "You don't want 4 kids?"

"I figured we'd stop after 1," he answered. "But because you wanted more...I just want you to be happy. And I'm so glad that we have the kids that we do have, but like you said when you were having Sammy. If it were up to the men to have the kids, we wouldn't have any...we might have Katie, but that's about it."

"Well you're glad that we have Clementine too right?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered. "Clem is my baby. She's everything to me...and I can't imagine Cassidy still having her, but I never expected to be a dad to her."

"Well she loves you," Kate told him.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I love her too."

"Did you love Cassidy?" she asked quietly.

"I dunno," he shook his head. "I'm sad that Clementine doesn't have her real mommy, but you're a pretty damn good mom to her."

"That isn't what I asked," Kate whispered.

"I cared about her I guess," he replied. "But no. And I think we already did this. When Cass first came back...didn't we talk about this?"

"Yes," she mumbled. "I guess I'm still jealous."

"Kate she's dead," he half scoffed. "There isn't anything to be jealous about."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm just being dumb I know."

She put her hands to her face and took a deep breath. He reached over and pulled her hands back down.

"Hey," he started. "Don't you think I'm constantly jealous of Jack-o? He got to spend a whole 17 years with you. He got to have all those memories with you. He got to hold you when you were scared of Wayne and he dried your tears when your dad had to go away."

"But-" she started.

"Shh," he put his finger to her lips. "No buts Freckles. Jack got to share those things with you. And yeah, we're together now, but I think about that all the time. I think about how he got to be the best friend for all those years. And he still is. I'm just the husband."

"But I love you," she told him.

"Right," he nodded. "And so none of that matters right. What's in the past, even thought it might make us both crazy with jealousy, that's over. We're together now and that's all that matters."

Kate kisssed his lips and leaned against his chest.

"When did you become so sensitive and understanding?" she asked with a chuckle. "It's kind of freakin' me out."

"I think it was somewhere between the first and third kid," he answered.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too," he answered.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW..and Happy New Year.**


	55. Chapter 55

_Chapter 55_

The next day Jack came over to help out with the kids. He was sitting on the couch with Katie sitting in his lap and Clementine sitting next to him.

"Read," Clementine said.

"You want me to read?" Jack asked. "Nah, how about we play a game. Do you guys like board games."

"Jack," Kate chuckled. "They're too young."

"No way," he shook his head. "Clementine's 3 right? And Katie's almost 2."

"Read!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Sawyer reads to them a lot," Kate informed him. "They seem to like it, and I think that Clementine actually listens and understands."

"Bunnies funny," she said.

"Sawyer reads them Watership Down?" Jack asked. "Jeez I read that when I was 15 and I didn't understand it."

"Just go ahead," Kate responded. "Here...they like this one."

"_The Clementine and Katie Story_," Jack read the title out loud. "Clever name. Where did you get this?"

"One of those make your own book places," she shrugged. "I dunno. I think Sawyer picked out what the story was about and they just made the names Clementine and Katie."

"Cool," Jack said. He started reading and Clementine stopped him.

"Like daddy," she stated.

"I'm not doing it like daddy?" he asked.

"No!" she exclaimed.

"Sawyer does the voices," Kate explained expertly and smiling at Jack.

"Sawyer does voices?" Jack asked with a large smile. "I can't imagine that."

"Believe me," she started. "I've seen it and I still can't believe it. He's so good with them. Who would have ever thought?"

"Hmm," Jack shrugged. He started reading again and soon both the girls were giggling and clapping their hands for more. He read the same story 3 more times and then Kate told them that it was nap time.

"No!" Katie exclaimed clinging on to Jack. "No nap!"

"Yeah!" Clementine chimed in. "Not tired."

"I bet you are," Jack told her.

"Nuh uh," she shook her head. "See."

She put her hands up to her face and held her eyelids open. Jack and Kate both laughed, and each took a kid into their respective rooms. Jack had Katie. He put her down in the crib.

"Ok," he said. "Night night."

She shook her head.

"Why not?" he asked. "You gotta go to sleep and then we can have more fun after."

"Daddy Wing," she said with her thumb in her mouth.

"Oh," he replied. "You mean he rocks you?"

"No!" she exclaimed loudly. "Wing!"

Kate appeared in the doorway and looked at Jack.

"I forgot to tell you," she started. "Sawyer always sings her to sleep."

"Oh sings," he nodded. "She's sayin' wing and I had no clue what she meant."

"Well now ya do," she smirked. "I'll help ya out. What should we sing Katie?"

"Me!" she exclaimed.

"Ah," Kate nodded. "Excellent choice."

"What?" Jack asked.

"The Katie song," Kate answered. "She gets that song at least once a day...it's her favorite."

Kate and Jack had only gotten a few words in when Katie put her hands up and stopped them.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Daddy," she said.

"I think that means that Sawyer does it better," Kate smiled. "Daddy can sing it later ok?"

"K," she replied. With that she closed her eyes and was asleep quickly. Jack looked at Kate and raised his eyebrows. Sam came into the room holding Sammy who was crying.

"Dad!" she whispered loudly. "Get him outta here."

She pushed Sam backwards gently and took Sammy from his arms.

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"It's ok," she said. "It's just that Katie is a super light sleeper and if she wakes up she'll never go back to sleep.

"Sorry," he repeated.

"It's alright dad," she answered. She bounced Sammy gently and kissed him on the top of the head.

"What's wrong buddy?" she asked Sammy. She walked out of the hallway and into the living room. She sat down on the couch and rocked Sammy in her arms. Jack came and sat down next to her.

"So how long do the girls sleep for?" he asked.

"As long as they can," she said with a chuckle. "I usually go in and wake them up after they've been sleeping for around an hour or so...but usually they don't last that long."

Sawyer came home after work and saw Kate sitting on the couch with Katie and Clementine both sitting on either side of her. She was telling them a story. Sam was filling in the blanks, so Sawyer knew that it was a story about Kate's childhood. Jack was holding Sammy and nodding along to the story.

"What next?!" Clementine exclaimed.

"So then she went back to stay with me...and your daddy."

Sawyer let out a chuckle and waited for the family to realize that he was standing there. Katie saw him first and he put his finger to his lips. Katie smiled largely and started laughing.

"What are you laughin' at?" Kate asked. Katie shook her head, but then pointed at Sawyer. Kate waved him over and he sat down next to her, nearly squishing Clementine.

"We were telling the girls about us," Kate told him.

"Oh," he replied. "That sounds like fun."

"Daddy," Clementine started.

"Yes my darlin' Clementine," he answered.

"Sing my song," she requested.

"Me too!" Katie said.

"Ok, let's do Clementine's first, and then we'll do Katie's ok?" he said.

"Kay," Katie answered with a nod.

"Do you wanna help me?" he asked Katie. She nodded and took her thumb out of her mouth.

"Oh my darlin'," Sawyer started. "Now you."

"Oh dawin," Katie smiled.

"Oh my darlin' Clementine," he continued.

"Oh dawin' Cremtie," she answered back.

"You are lost and gone forever dreadful sorry Clementine," he finished.

"Too hard," Katie shook her head. Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Sam all let out chuckles. Sawyer picked up Clementine and kissed her cheek.

"Do you wanna help me sing the Katie song?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"K-k-k-Katie," Sawyer started.

"Beautiful Katie," Clementine continued.

"Good job," he nodded. "You're the only one that I adore...except for mommy, Clementine and Sammy."

"No daddy," Katie smiled. "Rong."

"I think the song would be better that way so I'm gonna sing it however I want," he said sticking out his tongue. Katie stuck her tongue out too and then laughed.

"When moon shines," Clementine started again.

"Over the cow shed," Kate chimed in.

"All together," Sawyer replied.

"We'll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door," the rest of them said together. Katie clapped her hands together and then patted Sawyer on the arm.

"More," she said.

"All done," he shook his head.

"Crem song better," she frowned.

"I don't think so," Kate replied with a smirk.

"Me neither," Sam shook his head. "I've always been partial to the name Katie."

"Clementine pretty name too," Clementine informed her grandpa.

"Yes," he nodded. "Clementine is a very pretty name...and it's my favorite fruit."

"That's an old joke there Sam I am," Sawyer stated.

"Yeah," Clementine said a little snooty.

"So is Sam I am smart a-" Sam started.

"If you say that word in front of these girls who like to repeat everything we say, I won't be very happy with you daddy," Kate stopped him.

"Anyway...I can tell Clementine is gonna be nice and fun when she gets older," Sam laughed.

"She'll be just like her momma," Sawyer chuckled.

"Hey now," Kate started. "You don't want to have to sleep on the couch tonight do you?"

"Well considering that's where your daddy's sleeping I don't think that's possible."

"Well then you can sleep on the floor next to the couch," she responded.

"Katie bear," Sam began. "He's kind of right. I mean I love ya, you know that, but you can get somewhat snotty sometimes."

"Do you want to sleep over at Jack's?" she asked.

"Well we're all gonna be sleeping there soon," Sawyer mumbled.

"Really?" Kate asked. "You're ok with it?"

"Yeah," he murmured. "Why not? It'll be fun and then Big Sam and baby Sam can have their own rooms."

Kate smiled and kissed him.

**A/N: I hope that ya'll liked this chapter. I've also noticed that I think some of you are still skipping chapters so be sure that you're reading all of them or you might be a lot more confused than you have to be. R & R if you please!**


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

_2 Months Later_

Kate had always felt at home at Sawyer's house, but now it was different. She definitely felt strange living in the Shephard's house. She was sitting at the kitchen table. Katie was sitting in her high chair pounding on the tray. Clementine was sitting at the table looking at Kate who was holding Sammy on her lap. Sammy was moving around slightly, but for the most part was content in Kate's arms.

"Eat your breakfast Clem," she said softly. "And Katie if you don't stop that pounding I'm gonna...just stop."

Katie looked at Kate in somewhat confusion. She stopped pounding the tray, but then started up again and this time was louder. Sammy started fussing somewhat. Kate carefully put Sammy down in the baby seat, and then picked up Katie roughly. She put Katie down on the floor and then sat down. She picked Sammy back up and started rocking him. Katie looked up at Kate and started crying. Kate sighed and shook her head.

"When I tell you no Katie, you need to listen," Kate stated. Katie continued to cry and put her thumb in her mouth.

"It ok Katie," Clementine said softly.

The rest of the day wasn't any better. Kate's dad was away all day which seemed to make things easier almost. He was almost like having another kid to take care of. He tried his best to make things easier, but he always seemed to just make things worse. She wanted Sawyer to come home from work. He was almost always late from work which pissed her off. She wasn't worried about it, but she just wished that Sawyer was there to help. Jack was hardly ever able to come over to help either. He was working at the hospital and taking classes almost full time. Juliet was also working a lot and going to medical school. Kate never wanted to be a stay at home mom and she almost still didn't want to.

Clementine was sitting on the floor reading a book. She couldn't read, but she was looking at the pages and pretending that she was reading. Kate was holding Sammy and Katie was sitting next to them.

"Hold me," Katie requested.

"No," Kate answered. "I'm holding your brother right now."

"Hold me," Katie said again.

"Katie, stop it," Kate shook her head. "Your brother needs my attention right now."

Katie let out a scream and left the room. Kate heard the door slam hard. Clementine looked up at Kate and climbed on to the couch next to her.

"Can I help you?" Kate asked.

"Katie sad," Clementine told her. "You hate her."

"Clementine Ford, I do not hate Katie!" Kate exclaimed. "I love her. She's my baby."

"You yike Sammy better," Clementine replied.

"I don't like Sammy better," she shook her head. "Does Katie think that?"

"Yeah," Clementine nodded.

"Ok," Kate whispered. "Can you do me a favor? I'm gonna put Sammy in his seat ok? But if he starts crying or anything come get me. I'm gonna go talk to Katie."

"Kay mommy," she nodded. "I watch Sam."

"Thank you," Kate smiled.

Kate stood up and walked back to Katie's room. She opened Katie's door and saw that Katie had stuck her head in between the bars of her crib. She was crying and trying to get her head out, but it wasn't working. Kate let out a breath and walked over to Katie. She gently got Katie's head out of the crib. Katie sobbed into Kate's arms and wasn't taking a breath.

"Katie calm down," Kate said softly. "Take a breath honey."

Katie took a breath but continued to cry. Kate sat on the floor holding Katie and rocked her back and forth.

"Katie mommy loves you," Kate whispered.

"Nuh uh," Katie looked up at her.

"Yes I do," Kate answered. "I love you more than anything."

"Sammy more," she shook her head.

"No," Kate started. "I love Sammy, and Katie, and Clementine all the same."

"Nuh uh," she stood up and pushed against her.

"Don't push me, Katie," she said quietly.

"Hello!" Sawyer's voice yelled through the house. "Kate!"

Kate stood up and greeted Sawyer in the hallway. She sighed deeply and put her face against his chest.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's goin' on?"

"Why did we have 3 kids?" she chuckled and whispered at the same time.

"What's goin' on with the rugrats now?" he asked.

"Katie thinks I like Sammy more than her," she answered.

"Well what did you tell her?" he questioned.

"Hmm," Kate sighed. "I told her that she was right and that Sammy is the favorite...of course I told her that it wasn't true. I told her that I love all my babies the same."

"Where are the other two by the way?" he asked.

"I left Clementine in the living room with Sammy. They weren't there?" she asked.

"I just wanted to see if you were paying attention," he shrugged.

"God, you almost gave me a heart attack," she breathed putting her hand to her chest.

That night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed. They were in Sawyer's old room. Sam was in the master bedroom, and there were 3 other bedrooms for each of the kids. Sawyer was running his fingers across Kate's lips. They both heard a knock at the door. The door wasn't locked, and it startede opening slowly.

"Mommy? Daddy?" a small voice said. Clementine was standing in the door way and tears were streaming down her face.

"Hey," Kate said quietly. "Come here."

Clementine ran toward her and she jumped into Kate's arms. Kate lifted her up on the bed and put her between her and Sawyer. Sawyer sat up and brought Clementine into his arms.

"What happened darlin'?" he asked.

"Bad dream," she said quietly.

"How did you get out of the crib?" Kate questioned.

"Climbed," she answered. Kate and Sawyer both laughed, but Clementine still wasn't. She wriggled out of Sawyer's arms and went into Kate's. Kate rubbed her back and shhed her quietly.

"You're ok now," Kate whispered. "It was just a dream. But I got a surprise for you Clem. Because you're such a big girl we can put the big bed back in your room."

"Yay!" Clementine exclaimed loudly.

"But right now it's bedtime," Sawyer stated. He stood up and took Clementine with him. He was gone for almost 10 minutes. Kate's back was to him, and she didn't move toward the noise.

"Sorry it took me so long," he mumbled. "She insisted that I read her a story and then I had to sing her song."

Kate murmured softly, but Sawyer didn't hear what she said, and Kate still didn't move toward him. He walked over to his side of the bed and saw that she had her eyes closed.

"Faker," he accused, laying down and kissing her on the nose.

"I can't fool you," she shook her head. "Is she sleeping now?"

"Like a baby," he nodded. "We better get some sleep to before one of our kids wakes up again."

Over the next several months things started getting better. Kate tried to spend equal time with each kid so none of them felt left out. She set aside alone time with each of them every day.

She was sitting on the couch with Katie sitting on her lap and she was reading to her.

"Big bed," Katie said.

"You want a big bed too?" Kate asked with a chuckle. Katie nodded excitedly.

"Ok," Kate responded. "After you turn 3 we can put the big bed in your room."

"No!" she exclaimed.

"It's only 3 weeks away Katie," Kate reminded her.

"Ok mommy," Katie nodded.

3 Weeks Later

Katie was 3, Clementine was almost 4, and Sammy was 1. The kids were all sitting on the floor playing together. Kate and Sawyer were sitting together watching them. They hadn't seen Jack in over a month. There was a knock at the front door and before Kate or Sawyer could stand up, Sam went to the door and opened it. Jack walked inside and smiled at Sawyer and Kate.

"Jack!" Katie exclaimed. She ran over to him and jumped into his arms. Jack chuckled and set her down.

"How's it going?" Kate asked, standing up. She hugged Jack tightly.

"So I'm here to ask you to the event of the year," he told her.

"What?" Kate laughed.

"Juliet and I," he began. "We're getting married."

"Jack!" Kate exclaimed. She jumped up again and hugged him tightly.

**A/N: Please please review!**


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Kind of a short chapter...sorry. **

**Chapter 57**

Kate was standing at the front of the church in a pretty yellow dress. She had always heard about how bridesmaid dresses were awful and ugly, but she actually liked hers. She would much rather be in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but the dress wasn't so bad. Sawyer was standing somewhat near her in the tuxedo. They watched Katie, and Clementine walk down the aisle in yellow dresses that were similar to the one Kate was wearing. As Kate watched Jack and Juliet get married, she was almost jealous that they got to have the nice wedding. But when she thought back to her and Sawyer's wedding she knew that it was the perfect wedding for them. Neither of them were exactly traditional.

Sawyer smirked at Kate throughout the ceremony. They were sitting together at the reception and Sawyer moved his chair closer to Kate's.

"You're jealous," he told her.

"What do you mean I'm jealous?" she asked.

"You wanted this for our wedding," he replied.

"No," she shook her head. "Our wedding was perfect."

"Ok," he sighed. "Get up."

"What?" she asked.

"Get up," he repeated. "We're gonna have our first dance."

"Jack and Juliet are having their first dance right now," she shook her head. "I don't want to take that away from them."

Kate and Sawyer had fun at the wedding. All the kids were fast asleep way before the reception was over, but Sam came and took them home so that Kate and Sawyer could stay and have fun.

When Kate and Sawyer got home everyone was sleeping. They went quietly up the steps and they both tried to step over the 8th step since it was the squeaky one. Sawyer slipped backwards and made more noise trying to catch himself then the squeaky step would have made. They both walked into the bedroom and Kate could hear Sammy crying. She sighed deeply and went into Sammy's room. Sam was already in there rocking him back to sleep.

"Hey dad," Kate said quietly. "What are you doing in here?"

"Came to say goodnight to my grandson," he answered.

"Did you wake him up dad?" she asked.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "I just came in here to kiss him goodnight and he woke up. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she whispered. "Here. Give him to me."

Sam handed her the baby and she bounced him in her arms.

"Hey baby," she said soothingly. "How are you?"

Sammy gurgled at her and smiled widely. She chuckled at him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ok," she replied. "Goodnight Sammy. 'Night daddy."

"Katie," Sam began. "I never gave you a wedding present."

"Yeah," she whispered. "But it doesn't matter dad. I don't care."

"That isn't what I meant," he started. "I bought you and your husband some plane tickets...to Florida."

"Why?" she asked.

"I remember this one time," he began. "You were about 7. And you came running into my office and jumped in my lap. And you asked me if I would take you to Disney World."

"I remember," she nodded. "You said that you would take me when you got back."

"And I never did," he shook his head. "I'm sorry about that Katie. I never meant to hurt you. I knew how much that trip meant to you."

"So you're sending me and Sawyer to Disney World?" she asked.

"Yeah," he smiled.

"Thanks daddy," she answered.

She went back to her bedroom and laid down next to Sawyer. Sawyer wrapped his arms around him and kissed his lips.

"What's up Freckles?" he asked.

"We're going to Disney World," she told him.

**A/N: Ok so I think there's still a lot of people who are skipping chapters. I just want to make sure that everyone gets what's going on so you might want to go back and make sure that you didn't miss anything. Anyway...please review!!!**


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

Kate and Sawyer were in the airplane flying to Florida. Sawyer could feel Kate moving around and tossing and turning.

"You're ok," he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not. I hate flying. I hate it."

"You were fine on the flight to Austrailia," he told her. "You were completely fine. You didn't flip out at all. And this flight is a helluva lot shorter. We'll be there before you know it."

"Will you hold my hand?" she whispered. He let out a chuckle and took her hand in his.

"What is the matter?" he asked. "I can tell something else is going on."

"I miss my kids," she answered. "Katie...she didn't want us to go. She told me that she misses me already."

"Katie will be fine," he said. "And so will Sammy and so will Clem."

"I know," she nodded. "I just wish that we didn't have to leave them home."

"Well I can't lie Freckles," he responded. "I've never been so happy to take a vacation. You know that I love those kids more than anything, but it's just good to get away. We have no responsibilities for a week. How awesome is that? And if you're gonna be grumpy during this trip I'm not so sure I want to be here with you."

"Why do you have to lie so much?" she asked with a smile. Sawyer squeezed Kate's hand tightly.

"It's ok," he told her.

They got off the plane and went to the hotel that Sam had already made reservations for them. When they went into the room Sawyer stepped in front of her and blocked her way into the room. He picked her up and then covered her eyes with his hand.

"Sawyer, what are you doing?" she asked. He took his hands off her eyes and the room was filled with red roses. There was rose petals strewn all over the floor and bed. There was a bottle that looked like wine or chapagne sitting in a bucket of ice.

"It's sparkling grape juice darlin'," he assured her. "If you think I'd be dumb enough to get a bottle of wine, you're crazy."

"I love you," she smiled. She kissed him and then he set her down. That night they went out to dinner for pretty much the first time ever. At home they never went out to dinner, and always just stayed at home with the kids. Kate ate silently and Sawyer stared at her.

"What?" she asked with a laugh. He stood up and knelt in front of her. "What are you doing?"

"Kate," he started.

"What?" she asked again. "What is going on with you? You're absolutely insane."

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you," he responded. "I can't believe that we've been married for 4 years. We've been through so much Freckles-"

"Yeah," she interrupted.

"Wait," he started again. "We've been through a lot, but we're still together and we're still in love...do you know how awesome that is?"

"I guess," she chuckled. "But it's not that hard to stay in love. We have a family."

They went back up to the hotel room and spent the night talking. The next day they would be going to Disney World. Kate was almost as excited as a little kid getting ready to go to Disney World in the morning.

"We should have brought the kids with us," she stated.

"Aww, why are you bringin' them up for?" he asked.

"Don't tell me that you don't miss them...even just a little."

"Ok," he sighed. "Maybe...just a little, but believe me. I'd much rather be here alone with you right now."

"Hmm," she shrugged. "Yeah...I guess I kinda feel the same-a little."

The next day Kate and Sawyer went to the theme park and walked around all day. Neither of them knew where to start or where to go. They rode rides all day and when they got back to the hotel Kate fell on to the bed from exhaustion.

"I could sleep for days," she whispered.

"Not me," he shook his head. "Could stay up all night."

"You do that," she laughed. "I'm goin' to bed."

"No," he half whined. He got into bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't go to sleep yet Freckles."

"Why?" she moaned. "I need to sleep."

"We finally have some time alone and all you want to do is sleep?" he asked.

"Hell yeah," she answered turning toward him. "Sawyer I don't know if you realized this but we have 3 kids under the age of 4. That's a crap load of kids, who don't like to sleep through the night."

"Well I'll let you sleep tonight...but we have the whole week to ourselves," he told her.

1 Week Later

Sawyer and Kate were both happy to have had the time alone together and hang out, but they were also glad to be going home. Kate was much more calm on the flight home. She wasn't shifting nearly as much, and only asked Sawyer to take her hand once, when they hit a particularly bad patch of turbulence.

Kate walked through the door and Katie ran toward her sobbing. Kate took a deep breath and picked her up.

"Katie," she whispered. "What's the matter?"

"Jack mean," Katie answered. "He taked Sammy."

"What?" Kate asked, taking a deep breath. "Where's grandpa? Dad!"

"Sam!" Sawyer yelled. "Sam!"

Sam came walking down the stairs quickly with Clementine following him.

"Thank god you guys are home," he whispered.

"Where is Sammy dad?" Kate asked with tears coming into her eyes.

"I was coming down the stairs and I tripped. I dropped him."

"You dropped him down the stairs!" Kate screamed. Kate put Katie down and ran from the house. She got into her car and turned it on. Sawyer ran after her and opened the driver's side door.

"Kate stop," he started.

"No!" she yelled. "If my baby is in the hospital I'm going to see him. Are you coming or not."

"We should probably ask your dad what's going on first," he replied.

"No!" she screamed. "Either get in the car now or get the hell out of my way."

Sawyer sighed and got into the car. Kate was driving quickly, but slowed down when she realized that she was going at least 40 miles over the speed limit. She got to the hospital and ran inside.

"Kate slow down," Sawyer said, coming up behind her.

"No!" she exclaimed.

"Kate, we don't even know where he is," Sawyer stated calmly. "We have to find Jack ok? He'll tell us what's going on."

Sawyer walked over to the reception desk and sighed deeply. The receptionist was talking on the phone and not paying attention to Sawyer and Kate standing in front of them.

"Yeah I know right?" she chuckled. "I know! She's just such a rude bitch! I wish I could just-"

Sawyer reached over the counter and clicked the reciever to hang up on the call.

"Excuse me!" the receptionist scoffed.

"Hi," Sawyer smiled. "We're looking for our 1 year old son who was thrown down the stairs can you please page Dr. Jack Shephard?"

"Yes," she mumbled. "But there's no Doctor here by that name."

"He's not a doctor yet!" Sawyer exclaimed. "He's just a friend. Page him dammit!"

"Dr. Jack Shephard," the woman said over the intercom. "Please come down to main reception."

Her voice sounded over the intercom. Kate could hear her ears ringing and collapsed into Sawyer. Sawyer sighed and lowered her to the floor.

"Kate dammit," he whispered. "You gotta wake up and you gotta stay strong."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Where's Sam?" she choked out.

"I dunno," he shook his head. "But we'll find out. I promise."

He stood up and helped Kate stand. Jack rounded the corner and Kate ran toward him.

"Jack," she sobbed. "What happened? Is he ok? Please."

"He's ok," he nodded. "He's gonna be fine Kate."

"What the hell happened?" she asked quietly.

"You're dad," he breathed. "He was walking down the stairs and he tripped. Katie was in front of him, and so he didn't knock Katie over he dropped Sammy."

"He dropped him," Kate said quietly.

"It was one or the other," Sawyer mumbled.

"Yeah," Jack whispered.

"How is Sammy?" Kate asked.

"He's got a broken leg," Jack replied. "He's gonna be ok though."

"Just a broken leg?" Sawyer asked. "That's all?"

"He's got some bumps and bruises, but the worst of it is a broken leg."

"Can we go see him," Kate questioned, breathing deeply and trying to stop the constant flow of tears.

"Yes," Jack nodded. "Come on. Follow me."

Kate and Sawyer walked through the hallways and Jack took them into the room. Kate turned away just once and tried not to cry. The nurse was holding his hand and he was smiling. He had a cast on his leg, but he was still smiling.

"Oh Sammy," Kate whispered. She walked over to him and put her hand through the bars on the crib.

"Momma," Sammy said quietly. Kate smiled and wiped the tears out of her eyes again. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and put his hand through the bars too.

"Hey buddy," Sawyer stated.

"Dada!" he exclaimed. "Dada!"

"Can I pick him up?" Sawyer asked the nurse.

"Sure," she said. "But be careful, he's got the IV in his arm, so don't pull it out."

"It won't hurt him?" Kate questioned quickly, standing up and stopping Sawyer.

"If he's careful it shouldn't hurt," the nurse said sweetly. "Just watch his leg and give it support so that it's not just dangling there."

"I'll hold his leg," Kate whispered. Sawyer picked Sammy up and he was hugging Sawyer's neck tightly.

They were allowed to take Sammy home that day, which surprised them both. Kate walked through the door and held it open so that Sawyer could walk through. Clementine and Katie came running toward them.

"Stop!" Kate said putting her hands up. "You gotta be careful ok."

"Mommy," Katie said with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah," she whispered kneeling in front of her.

"I sorry," she sobbed.

"Hey," Kate replied. "You're ok. It's ok. Sammy's fine."

"How's my grandson?" Sam asked. His cheeks were pink and he shook his head. "I'm so sorry Katie bear."

"Jack told me," she swallowed. "He told me that you pretty much had to make a choice...I don't know what I would have done dad."

"Katie almost fell too," he breathed. "I caught her and as I caught her I dropped Sam. If it weren't for me-"

"Dad don't," she shook her head. "I'm glad that my kids get to grow up with lots of family who loves them. Both Sawyer and I had to grow up in crappy households with parents and grandparents who couldn't stand them. Mom told me when I was 12 that she wished I was never born...can you ever imagine saying that to your kid?"

"Not really," he answered. "But then...I don't really have a kid."

"Dad," she sighed. "Can you ever imagine telling me that you wished I wasn't born? Wayne is a freaking sperm donor. He means nothing-meant nothing."

"OK," he nodded. "Of course I couldn't ever imagine not wanting you to be born. You are my daughter Kate."

"I know," she answered.

Kate and Sawyer walked over to the couch with the baby, and with the kids following them. Sawyer was holding Sammy and Katie held her arms up for Kate to hold her. Kate smiled and picked her up. She held Katie on her lap and looked down at Clementine. Kate knew that Clementine was jealous, but she wasn't saying anything. Kate smiled and patted the seat next to her. Clementine crawled onto the couch next to Kate and put her head against her shoulder. Kate brushed her hand against Clementine's head.

"Sammy ok?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I promise."

Over the next couple days Sammy started to feel better. He would try to stand on his cast, which wasn't easy, but it always made the two little girls laugh. Kate and Sawyer would always get nervous when he would crawl around on it or pull himself into a standing position. Once Kate was walking down the steps carrying him, and he was moving around so much that he almost fell again. Kate yelled at him and he cried for an hour and a half. Sawyer was at work and so was Sam. Jack was at class, so Kate was at home alone with the kids. Kate was in the other room and she heard Clementine crying. Kate walked out into the living room and saw Clementine sitting on the floor crying, so was Sammy. Katie looked perfectly content.

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"Crem push Sammy," Katie answered. "Sammy hit Crem."

"Did you push him?" Kate questioned.

"He bugs me," Clementine replied.

"So that's why?" she asked. "Clementine you have to be more careful. Sammy is just a baby. He's only a year old."

"I know, sorry Sammy," Clementine said.

"Ok, well Sammy is only a year old so he won't say sorry to you, but I know he's sorry for hitting you," Kate told her. "I guess I'm gonna have to sit out here with you guys and make sure that no one else gets hurt."

"Yay!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yeah," Kate smirked. "Yay."

Kate sat up on the couch and started watching the preschool show that the kids had been watching. She thought it was pretty damn stupid and if it were up to her she would be watching her soap opera. She felt like she was going crazy in the house all day. She wanted to take the kids to the park, but it was pouring down rain. She watched the kids playing on the ground. They were no longer fighting, and Clementine really did seem to be sorry about pushing Sammy. He had forgiven her just as quickly. Clementine was starting to read a little bit with the help from Sawyer. She knew quite a few words which surprised Kate a little bit.

Kate was beginning to doze off when she heard Clementine calling her.

"Mommy," Clementine said.

"What?" she asked.

"Sammy fell asleep," she replied.

"Well thanks for wakin' me up to tell me," Kate chuckled.

"No!" Clementine exclaimed as Kate closed her eyes again. "Sammy fell over first."

Kate got on to the ground next to Sammy and looked at him.

"Sammy!" she yelled. "Wake up baby. Wake up."

He didn't move or open his eyes. Kate breathed in deep and picked him up. She shook him gently and he still didn't wake up. Kate picked him up and looked down at the girls.

"Get into the car ok?" she asked. "We're going to the hospital."

She drove to the hospital quickly and walked inside. The girls were walking behind her as Kate carried Sammy. She bumped into a doctor on the way there and handed Sammy to her. The doctor assured Kate that she would figure out what was wrong with Sammy. Kate walked over to the reception desk. It was the same receptionist from 3 days ago when Sammy was first in the hospital. The receptionist was on the phone again. Kate scoffed and took the phone from her.

"Yeah," Kate started. "Your friend will have to call you back."

Kate reached over the desk and started dialing Sawyer's work number. The phone rang 3 times and finally someone answered. It was Mike. Kate told him what happened and he assured her that Sawyer would be at the hospital as soon as possible.

Kate was sitting in the hospital chairs waiting and she heard running foot steps coming from behind her. She turned her head and saw Sawyer running toward her. She put her head down and he knelt in front of her.

**A/N: Please please review!!!!**


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

Kate fell against Sawyer's shoulder. He took a breath and sat next to her. He silently took her hand and squeezed it hard.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"He's gonna be fine," he stated. "He's gonna be fine because he has to be. Where's Jack?"

"He's at class," she said blankly. "I left him a note on the fridge. He was gonna come over today for dinner."

"Well then he'll come here when he gets home and sees your note...then maybe he can translate the doctor language," Sawyer replied quietly.

"I just want to go home," she sighed. "I want to take my baby and go home."

"I know," he nodded.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" a doctor came up and knelt in front of them.

"Is Sammy ok?" Kate asked.

"Your son had some internal injuries that we missed before," the doctor started.

"What does that mean?" Sawyer questioned, pulling Kate down next to him, as she started standing up.

"It means that it was our stupid mistake," he answered. "His injuries were significant. We did everything we possibly could to save him-"

"No," Kate whispered. "He's my baby-no...you're lying!"

"He died on the operating table," the doctor said quietly.

"No," Kate said with a cough. "No. You must be mistaking. How old was the kid on your table?"

"Ma'am," the doctor stated. "I'm sorry. But it was your son. Samuel Ford."

"No!" Kate screamed. She stood up and lunged a the doctor. Sawyer stood up quickly and grabbed her by the arms.

"Shh," he said quietly. "Freckles."

He pulled her into a hug. She fell to the floor and threw up. Katie and Clementine were sitting in the chairs looking down at what was happening. Neither of them said anything or really knew what was going on. Kate put her hands to her face and started rocking herself back and forth. When Sawyer lifted her up he noticed that she wasn't crying. She looked at him like she was so angry she might kill someone.

"My son is not dead," she told Sawyer.

"He'll always be remembered," he whispered.

"No," she continued. "I want to see for myself. My baby isn't dead. I want to go see him."

"Ma'am I don't-" the doctor began.

"No!" she yelled. "Take me to see my son right now."

The doctor nodded. He started walking down the hall. Both Kate and Sawyer followed him. The girls stayed in the waiting room and they told Sawyer that they would be good and not wander around. They entered the room where Sammy was and looked at a figure that was covered with a sheet. Sawyer came up behind Kate and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Don't touch me," she mumbled. The doctor lifted the sheet carefully and then replaced it. Sawyer shook his head. He didn't move. Kate put her hands to her face.

"It wasn't him," she replied. "It wasn't him."

She fell to the floor. Sawyer sat down next to her and put his arms around her. She still wasn't crying. Sawyer had tears stinging his eyes, but they weren't falling yet.

"It wasn't him," she repeated. "It wasn't Sawyer."

"Darlin'," he whispered.

"That wasn't Sam," she said. "Please just tell me this is a dream. Tell me we're gonna wake up and we're gonna have Sammy back."

Sawyer closed his eyes. The tears started falling and he tried not to let Kate see. He knew that the minute she saw him crying, she would know how real it was.

"It wasn't him," she shook her head. "James tell me!"

"Freckles," he started, this time wiping his cheeks off. He was trying to be discreet, but she saw him.

"It was," she frowned. "It was him wasn't it?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. She fell against him, but still wasn't crying. "Kate, you can cry."

"No I can't," she answered. "Because once I do...I won't ever stop."

Sawyer helped Kate stand and they looked at the doctor.

"What do you want us to do with the body?" the doctor asked. Kate went toward him quicker than Sawyer could stop her. She shoved him against the wall using all her strength.

"This is our son!" Kate yelled at him. "He's not a body!"

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I wasn't thinking. What would you like us to do?"

"What do you normally do?" Sawyer asked.

"We can take care of everything until you make your arrangements," the doctor replied.

"Then do that," Sawyer stated. "Come on Freckles."

"I don't want to leave him," she answered. "He's only a year and a half Sawyer. I can't leave him here all by himself."

"He won't be by himself," he assured her. "Why don't we go home...take the girls home?"

"No," she shook her head. "I can't leave the hospital without all 3 of my kids."

"Come on," he said still quietly and calmly. He took her by the arm. She jerked her arm away and started hitting him.

"No!" she exclaimed. "If you want to go then go! But I'm staying."

"Freckles," he whispered.

"Stop!" she yelled. "I don't want to go anywhere! And I want you to stop trying to make me forget!"

"I'm not," he shook his head. "I just think we should get Katie and Clem home."

"No," she responded. "I am not leaving this damn hospital. Please Sawyer...don't make me."

"Ok," he nodded. "I won't make you. I'm gonna go wait out in the waiting room with the girls. When your ready come on out."

He walked out to the waiting room and sat down in the chairs where the kids were. Katie climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

"Hey," he whispered. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Sammy better?"

"No," he shook his head. "Sammy was really really sick. Come here Clem."

Clementine climbed over to him to. She sat on his other leg.

"Sammy loved both of you so much," he said quietly. "He just was too sick. Remember when mommy and I told you about heaven?"

"Yeah," Katie nodded.

"Well Sammy went to heaven," he told them.

"No fair!" Clementine exclaimed. "He should come back."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I think so too, but he can't."

"Where mommy?" Katie asked.

"She's saying goodbye," he answered.

"Me say bye bye," Katie said raising her hand.

"No," he shook his head.

"Yes!" Clementine exclaimed. "Me too!"

"Guys you can't," he told them. "Sammy is in a room that only grown ups can go."

"Hate you daddy!" Katie yelled. She started hitting his shoulders.

"Katie," he whispered. "Shh. Stop hitting me."

Clementine climbed off of his lap and started walking down the hall.

"Clem!" he exclaimed. "Come here. Come back here."

He set Katie down and chased after her. He picked up Clementine and carried her back to the chairs. Sawyer sat with Katie and Clementine for 30 more minutes and then stood up.

"I'm gonna go see mommy ok," he said quietly. "You stay here alright? I'll be right back."

He walked back to the hospital room and Kate was sitting in the room, which was now empty. Kate was sitting in a chair looking into nothingness. She looked up when she heard Sawyer enter the room. He got down in front of her and put a hand on each of her legs.

"They took him," she whispered. "They said they had to make all the arangements. They took him Sawyer."

"Ok," he whispered. He stood up and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm not going home," she told him. "I'm staying."

"Freckles," he said moving her hair away from her face. "It's gonna be ok."

"Shut up," she scoffed. "Don't."

"Ok," he replied. "I won't. Just-we have to go home at some point. The girls...they don't understand."

"Yeah," she shook her head. "Neither do I."

"Will you come home at all tonight?" he asked.

"I dunno," she mumbled.

"Please Kate," he said. "We gotta go home. Please."

She nodded slowly and stood up. She walked with Sawyer back down the hall and to where the kids were waiting. They each picked up a kid and walked out of the hospital. Sawyer drove home, and the car ride was painfully quiet. The girls didn't even talk. He drove into the driveway and saw Jack's car. Jack was coming out of the house running toward him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Kate answered blankly. Sawyer put his arm around her and rubbed her back. Sawyer opened the back seat door and unbuckled the girls from their child seats.

"Where's-" Jack started.

"Jack don't," Kate shook her head. "Just don't."

They went into the house and Kate ran up the stairs. Sawyer looked at Jack and shook his head.

"He's gone," Sawyer replied. "Sammy...Sammy died."

"He died?" Jack asked. "How?"

"He had some internal thing...he's dead. I'm gonna go see if Kate's ok."

He walked up the steps and went into the bedroom. She was sitting on the floor looking at a picture that was taken of the family before Sammy was born. She was looking at it and shaking her head. Sawyer sat down next to her and looked at the picture too.

"It's a really good picture of all of us," Kate stated quietly. "Except Sammy isn't in it."

"Sammy will be remembered forever Kate," he told her. He took her hand in his.

"It's not going to be ok Sawyer," she whispered. "Nothing will be ok again."

"Kate you gotta let something out," he responded. "Cry. Let yourself be sad."

"I can't," she shook her head. "Don't you get it? If I cry...I won't be able to stop. I can't handle anything Sawyer. I just want to sit here for a while."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked.

"I don't care," she answered. "If you want to then be my guest."

He put his arm around her and continued to look at the picture in Kate's hand. He took it from her and put it back on the bedside table. He sat with her for another 15 minutes until he heard screaming and crying coming from downstairs. He stood up quickly and ran down the steps. Kate stayed where she was and tried not to hear the other kids. Clementine was sitting on the floor crying hard. Katie was crying too, but not as hard.

"What's going on?" Sawyer asked.

"Daddy!" Katie exclaimed. She ran toward him and wrapped her arms around him. He picked her up and shhed her.

"What's wrong Katie bear?" he questioned.

"Ganpa gone," she told him.

"Sam left?" Sawyer asked Jack.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I told him what happened and he said that he was going to leave before he caused any more problems. He feels horrible about what happened. He feels extremely guilty."

"And he didn't even have the guts to come tell me and Kate that he was leaving?"

"I guess not," Jack shrugged. "I don't think he would be able to face you. He knows that it's his fault."

"It's not his fault," Sawyer shook his head. "It was an accident. Kate knows that. It's not Sam's fault."

"Yes it is," Kate stated coming up behind him. "He's dead because of my father. If it weren't for my dad, all of our kids would be ok."

"Kate," Sawyer stepped toward her. "You don't mean that. You know that your dad didn't mean for any of this to happen. He loves our kids. He had to make a choice. What would you have done?"

"I would have set Sam down on the step and caught Katie."

"I'm sure it all happened too fast," Sawyer answered. "He's sorry."

"Well I for one am glad he's gone," she scoffed. Kate walked toward the kitchen. Katie and Clementine followed her. "Are you guys hungry?"

Kate started making food. She was pulling everything that she could find out of the fridge, and cupboards. She made a complete feast. The girls both ate, but Sawyer didn't. He sat with a glass of water and that was the only thing he was going to eat or drink. Jack cleaned up the dishes and told Sawyer that he should go upstairs with Kate...he was going to take care of the girls the rest of the night, but they should be alone. Sawyer and Kate went upstairs and Sawyer put Kate into the bed. He put blankets over her and looked at her.

"I'm not gonna cry Sawyer," she told him.

"Ok," he nodded. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

They spent the next 3 hours with each other. Kate didn't cry or talk. Sawyer didn't talk either. He just waited for her to say something. He didn't know what else he was supposed to do. He wanted to cry but at the same time he didn't. He didn't want to cry in front of Kate. Kate was the only person who had ever seen him remotely want to cry, but he wanted to breakdown entirely. He wanted to sob and cry harder than he had since he was 8. When he was laying under his bed.

_FLASHBACK_

James Ford was under his bed. He could see his daddy's boots in front of him. He heard the loud gun go off and knew that his dad was dead. He only hoped that his mommy was still alive. He took a deep breath and sobbed softly. He could heard his dad's voice in his head saying "Stop being such a wimp...I've got a wimp for a son."

He wiped the tears off his face and stopped himself from crying. He forced himself not to look at his dad, but he went into the hallway and saw his mom laying on the floor. She was still moving.

"Mommy," he knelt next to her and put his hand on her face. "Momma...Are you ok?"

"James," she breathed. "Are you ok?"

"Uh huh, yeah" he nodded. "You're hurt."

"Yeah," she whispered. "But I want you to be really really brave now, ok James. I need you to go call 9-1-1...alright. Can you do that?"

"Yes mommy," he answered. He ran into the kitchen and jumped as high as he could to reach the phone. He couldn't reach it. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and scraped it over to the phone. It made a loud noise and Sawyer cringed at the sound. He climbed up to the phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 emergency," the operator stated. "What is your emergency?"

"My mommy," he replied. "Daddy shot her."

"Ok honey."

"Hurry," he told her. "Please just hurry."

"Ok sweetie," the operator stated. "I'm gonna stay on the phone till one of the officers get there. Where do you live honey? What's your address?"

"902 State Street ma'am," he said quietly.

"Ok," she said. "I'm gonna send someone right away. But you need to stay on the phone with me."

"Thank you."

He hung up the phone and ran back to where his mom was laying.

"Mommy," he said quietly. "Mommy are you still awake?"

"Yeah," she whispered weakly. "Did you call?"

"Yes mommy," he answered. "They're coming."

"Good boy," she told him. "Now I want you to go back and wait in my room ok? Wait there until you hear the police sirens."

"No," he said. "I don't want to leave you mommy."

"I'll be ok," she responded. "Just be a good boy James."

"No!" he yelled. "I'm not leaving you mommy!"

He laid down next to her and held her hand. He laid there next to her for 10 minutes and finally heard sirens. It was the longest 10 minutes of his life. He heard knocking on the door and got up. He opened the door and the police and EMT's came running into the house. They nearly knocked Sawyer down as they came in the house.

"Mrs. Ford can you hear me?" the EMT asked. Sawyer went running over to her.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed. She wasn't waking up this time. "Mommy wake up! You were awake! Wake up mommy!"

Sawyer started crying and this time he didn't hear his dad telling him he was a wimp. The medics started working on her and then they were taking her away. They said something that made Sawyer want to scream and yell at them.

"Time of death 23:42," the doctor stated.

"No!" Sawyer screamed. "Please help my mommy! Please help her! She's not dead!"

There was a pretty police officer standing in front of him. She looked at him sympathetically and picked him up.

"It's ok," the officer whispered. "You can cry."

"No," he shook his head and wiped the tears. "Daddy said that crying makes you weak."

"Well your daddy is wrong," she told him.

"My daddy is dead," he replied.

"It's gonna be ok," she said. "We called your grandma ok? She's gonna come to get you."

When his grandma got to the house she hugged James and sobbed with him. He started crying again and this time didn't stop till they got to his grandparents house. He was crying so hard that he stopped breathing a couple times.

4 weeks later he heard his grandparents talking about Sawyer. He found out what really happened. It was Sawyer's fault that his parents were dead. He was sitting at his desk at school and was writing his letter to Mr. Sawyer. He was covering his paper with his arm and writing.

"James, very good work," his teacher walked toward his desk. "I think this is the most creative writing you've done all year. Can I take a look?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "I'm not done yet."

"Oh," she said quietly. "Sorry. Keep up the good work James."

James didn't once look up at the teacher. He mumbled something so incoherent he didn't even know what he was trying to say to her. Later that week his teacher was looking through his desk during recess. She found his letter and called him over to her.

"Yeah," he shrugged.

"What is this James?" she asked.

"A letter," he answered.

"What is it doing in your desk?" she questioned.

"I wrote it," he replied.

"You know that I'm gonna have to give this to the principal James," she told him. "This is against the rules. You're threatening to kill someone?"

"Did you read the whole thing?" he asked sternly. "Because that man killed my parents...I was just thinking. Please don't tell the principal. He'll call my grandma and she'll ground me for life. It was just me thinking. Can you just keep it a secret please?"

"Ok," she whispered. "Alright James...I'm gonna let you off the hook right now ok? But only because I know how much you've been through in the past month. But you need to keep that at home. If I find anything like it again...I'll have to tell the principal."

"Ok," he mumbled.

_FLASHBACK OVER_

Sawyer held Kate in his arms and rubbed her back.

"Daddy," he heard a voice behind him. Sawyer turned over and saw Clementine standing in front of him.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Is mommy ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Mommy's ok. She's just sad. It's nearly 10:00. Why aren't you in bed?"

"Come," she said.

"You want me to tuck you in?" he asked.

"You and mommy!" she exclaimed.

"Well mommy is really tired and sad so we're gonna let her stay here ok?" he questioned. "I will tuck you in."

"Me first!" Katie exclaimed. Sawyer walked with Katie into her room and put her in her bed.

"Goodnight Katie," he said quietly.

"Night daddy," she stated. He hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. Then he went and did the same thing with Clementine. He almost went into Sammy's room and then stopped. He walked back to his room and climbed back into bed.

"The kids are all tucked in," he said.

"You mean both," she replied. "Both the kids are tucked in."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Kate are you gonna go to sleep?"

"I couldn't sleep if I wanted to Sawyer," she responded.

It was 3 in the morning. Sawyer had fallen asleep around 1:00. He woke up to the sound of sobbing. He rolled over and looked at Kate. Kate was crying and shaking. He hugged he shoulders and partially expected her to push him off of her, but instead she turned toward him and hugged him tightly. She sobbed hard in to his chest. He stroked her hair and cried too. He wasn't sobbing, but he was just crying softly.

"Is there anything I can do Freckles?" he asked.

"Bring him back," she answered.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I don't think that I'm going to be able to get 100 chapters by the 31st haha, but I'm still gonna try I guess. I know that I'm a horrible person, but I didn't have any other major ideas to make the story more interesting. Anyway I hope you liked this.**


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: WARNING MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ CHAPTER 59!!!**

**Chapter 60**

Kate woke up with a start. She looked around the room and down at Sawyer. She got out of bed and went into Sammy's room. He wasn't in his crib. She looked around the room and went back to her and Sawyer's room.

"Sawyer," she breathed. "Sammy's gone!"

"I know," he whispered. "It's ok."

He tried to hug her.

"What do you mean you know?" she asked. "Where the hell is he?"

"Kate," he said.

"No," she shook her head. "That was a dream. I just woke up. It was a horrible nightmare. Sammy has to be ok. Please tell me that he's ok Sawyer."

Sawyer sighed deeply and hugged her tightly. He pulled her into the bed and moved over to make room for her.

"Let go of me," she sobbed. "Let go."

"It's alright Freckles," he whispered. "Shh."

She leaned against him and shook her head.

"I thought," she whispered. "I don't even remember falling asleep...so when I woke up...I was sure that everything would be normal again. This is wrong Sawyer. Parents should have to bury their babies."

"You're right," he mumbled.

"I want another baby," she told him.

"What?" he asked.

"I want another baby," she repeated. "Not to replace Sammy...but-I want another baby Sawyer."

"Well," he replied. "Then we'll have another baby."

"Now?" she asked. "Can we have one now?"

"Kate, I don't know what you mean by 'now'," he stated.

"Well obviously not now now," she chuckled. "But I mean like...we can start trying now."

He let out a breath and kissed her gently. She kissed him back and rolled on top of him.

"Wait," he said.

"For what?" she whispered kissing him again.

"Just, stop for a second Kate," he stated.

"I just want to feel better," she told him. "And I remember you asking me if there was anything you could do."

"Yeah," he nodded. "And you know that I would do anything for you, and I would do anything so that you didn't have to feel this horrible."

"So?" she asked. "Yes...there's something you can do to make me feel better. Please...do this for me."

"Kate," he whispered. "Do you really think that it's going to make you feel that much better?"

"Yes," she answered. "I think it'll make me feel great."

He leaned toward her and kissed her softly. He started kissing her, and taking both of their clothes off. They hadn't been kissing for very long and Sawyer felt moisture on Kate's lips and cheeks. He backed away from her and noticed she was crying. He wiped his hand over her face and she leaned back in to kiss him again.

"Don't," she choked. "Just kiss me and love me...don't worry about my tears."

They continued to kiss, and love each other. Sawyer knew that it wasn't really helping her, but since she seemed do desperate he decided that he would give in. She was laying in his arms and cuddling into him. He looked down at her and kissed her on the forehead.

"Hey," he whispered. "Do you feel any better?"

"Believe it or not," she began. "Yeah. A little bit."

"Good," he smiled weakly. "I love you Freckles."

"I know," she responded. "I love you too."

"I know," he nodded. "And I know how much you loved Sammy."

"Stop," she stated.

"And Sammy loved you too Kate. Sammy was our little boy," he replied. "And it's not fair. Sammy was too little, but I dunno Freckles-"

"Stop," she repeated. "Just stop talking, please."

"Sammy is gone," he whispered.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "Just shut up...please."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I just-"

"Sawyer why is this happening?" she asked. "I don't understand it! Why does everyone around us die?"

As she spoke her voice got softer and softer, so by the end of her sentence Sawyer could barely hear her. He sighed and hugged her tighter.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I don't know Freckles. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I want everything to be over with," she stated.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The funeral...all the crap that goes along with it," she answered. "I don't want anything big. Just bury him and be done."

"Ok," he whispered. "We can do whatever you need to ok?"

The next day Jack came over and started helping make plans for Sammy. The phone rang and Sawyer stood up to answer it.

"Hello," Sawyer answered.

"Hi, can I please speak to Mr. or Mrs. Ford?" the person on the other end asked.

"This is James Ford," he replied.

"This is Dr. Smith," the woman stated. "I was the doctor who performed the autopsy on your son."

"Autopsy," he scoffed. "We know how he died. From you guys missing his injuries."

"We always do autopsy's on people younger than 18 who die," she replied. "Anyway we found out that your son had an exsisting problem. He had heart disease. Didn't you say something about your daughter having that?"

"Yeah," he answered. "But she's fine now. Takes meds, she's good. And they tested Sammy when he was born."

"Well they must have missed something," she answered. "I'm so sorry for your loss sir...we just wanted to let you know that it wasn't from his fall down the stairs. There's really nothing that anyone would have been able to do."

"Was it quick?" he asked quietly. "Did he feel pain?"

"No," she answered. "He probably just got a little lightheadedness before he passed out."

"Thanks doc," he mumbled.

Sawyer hung up the phone and walked back over to where Kate and Jack were sitting. He sat down on the floor next to Kate and told her what the doctor said.

"If I hadn't been asleep-" Kate shook her head. "I would have known! I would have seen him! It's my fault!"

"Kate," Sawyer and Jack both said quietly.

"Kate," Jack began. "No. It's not your fault. It is not...didn't you hear what Sawyer said. He said that the doctor said there is nothing that either of you could do. No one could have done anything."

"It's my fault!" she sobbed. "I could have helped him!"

"Freckles," Sawyer said. "Shh. It's not your fault darlin'. It's not your fault. Come here."

He hugged her and she sobbed onto his chest.

3 days later they buried Sammy. They just had a small ceremony at the cemetary. Jack, the girls, and Sawyer and Kate were the only ones there. Kate kept hoping that she would see her dad there, but he hadn't shown up. Kate was looking at Sawyer blankly. She wasn't paying attention to Jack's speech. All she wanted to do was go back home and sleep for the rest of her life.

"Kate do you want to say anything," Sawyer whispered to her.

"No" she shook her head. "I don't...I can't say anything Sawyer."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know. We love you Sammy."

Kate was barely standing on her own. She was leaning against Sawyer for support. Her legs felt like jelly. Sawyer tried to stand her up straighter, but when he let go of her momentarily she collapsed in front of him. He picked her up and held on to her.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Why are you sorry Freckles?" he asked "It's not your fault. I should have had a better grip on you."

"I wanna go home," she mumbled.

"Ok," he nodded.

"Katie bear," Sam said behind them. Kate whipped around and wrapped her arms around him. He sighed and rubbed her back.

"You're ok," he whispered.

"No I'm not daddy," she answered. "I'm not ok at all."

"You will be," he told her. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

"It's ok," she shook her head. "I don't know what I would have done dad. I'm just glad that you came back. You're back to stay?"

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"Clem and Katie need their grandpa," she responded. "Come back daddy."

"Ok," he nodded. "If you want me to."

"I do dad," she said. "I know that you didn't mean to...it was an accident."

"You're right," he replied. "It was just a horrible accident, but I still feel like it's my fault...if I wasn't there you baby would still be alive."

"No dad," Kate shook her head. "He had a heart problem that we didn't know about and didn't catch in time. It was his bad heart...you had nothing to do with it dad. There's nothing any of us could have done."

"That's right Freckles," Sawyer said putting his hand on her shoulder. She smiled weakly and leaned against him.

**A/N: I've been watching the sesaons over again...I'm in the middle of season 2 and it's sooo good! I mean I already knew it was good, but there's some kickass scenes that I had forgotten about. Shannon just died...sad times. :(...anyway pleaase review!**


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate was at home alone with the kids. She wasn't really paying attention to them. She had become completely stoic lately. No one blamed her. Sawyer offered to stay at home with her until she was feeling a little better, but she refused, and told him that he needed to go back to work. Jack had been coming over a lot, and Juliet was getting a little annoyed. She wanted him to be able to do whatever he wanted, but he spent almost no time at home with her anymore. Sam had gone back to work too.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy," Katie started. She continued to repeat the word and Kate continued not to hear her. Clementine crawled onto the couch next to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Mommy!" Clementine yelled.

"What?" Kate said coming out of her daze and shaking her head.

"Mommy park!" Katie exclaimed.

"You want to go to the park?" she aked.

"Yeah!" Clementine ad Katie both exclaimed.

Kate walked with them down the street to the park. She climbed up on the top of the monkey bars to sit and think. The kids played on the playground and kept requesting Kate to watch them. Kate would murmur something to pretend that she was really paying attention, when she really wasn't. Kate came out of her daze when she heard crying. She looked down and saw Katie laying on the ground crying. She jumped off the monkey bars and ran toward her. She picked her up and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry Katie," she whispered. "Mommy's sorry. Shh. You're ok?"

She looked and saw that Katie had a small bump on her head, but it was bleeding. Kate sighed and went over to a park bench. She sat down and held Katie in her arms.

"Katie ok?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "She's alright. Why don't you go ahead and go play?"

"Mommy," Clementine started.

"Yes," Kate said, looking at her.

"Mommy, Sammy in heaven," Clementine told her.

"Who told you that?" Kate asked.

"Daddy," Clementine answered.

"Oh," Kate nodded.

They walked back from the park, and Kate was still carrying Katie. When they got into the house she refused to put Katie down and continued to hold her in her lap.

"Mommy!" Katie exclaimed. "Let go!"

"Let me just hold you for a minute," she whispered. "I just want to sit here with my baby."

"I not a baby!" Katie yelled. "I a big girl."

"Yes," Kate sniffled. "You are a big girl."

"Down!" Katie exclaimed.

"Ok," Kate set Katie on the floor and the two girls started playing again. Sawyer walked through the door. Kate noticed that he was home a couple hours early.

"Sawyer," Kate said standing up. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah," he answered, wrinkling his eyebrows, and not knowing what it was all about. She lead him into another room and shut the door, but not all the way.

"Where do you get off telling Clementine that Sammy is in heaven?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "What was I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry your brother is dead and he's never coming back'?"

"It would have been better than lying to them!" she exclaimed, but was still whispering.

"Don't you think that Sam is in heaven?" he asked.

"I stopped believing in heaven and God a long time ago Sawyer," she shook her head. "And since God 'took' Sammy, it really made me realize how much it's not true."

"Kate," he whispered.

"Don't!" she yelled, and this time yelled loud. "He's just dead! There's no heaven there's nothing without my baby."

"Freckles, stop," he shook his head. "You're going to make yourself crazy. Just stop ok?"

"No," she sobbed. "I want my son back Sawyer. I almost let Katie die today too. She fell off the playground and bumped her head."

"Well is she ok?" he asked, beginning to leave.

"She's alive," Kate mumbled. Sawyer sighed deeply and walked away from her. He went out into the living room and saw Katie looking up at him.

"Hey," he said kneeling in front of her. He saw the band-aid that Kate had put on Katie's head, and noticed that there was a small bump, that didn't look too horrible. "That's a bump Katie."

"I hurted daddy," she told him. He picked her up and gave her a hug.

"Daddy," Clementine began. He set Katie down and looked at her. "Is Sammy in heaven?"

"I think he is," Sawyer shrugged.

"Me too," she nodded. He kissed Clementine on the nose and stood back up. Kate was standing behind him with her arms crossed.

"Is mommy mad?" Clementine asked.

"No," Kate uncrossed her arms. "Mommy's not mad."

She bent down and hugged both girls and then stood back up. Sawyer looked at her, unsure of what she was going to do or say. She glanced up to the ceiling without moving her head. Sawyer could see her blinking quickly, trying to blink the tears away. He stepped toward her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. She hugged him back and fell to the floor. He rubbed her back and her head and kissed her on the cheek.

That night Jack came over and ate dinner with the Ford's. Kate talked to Jack and was actually smiling. When she noticed that she was laughing and smiling she got a strange look on her face and ran up the stairs. Sawyer stood up and helped Jack do the dishes.

"She's been losing it lately," Sawyer sighed. "Today she started yelling at me because I told the girls that Sammy was in heaven. She said she stopped believing in heaven and God a long time ago."

"She stopped when she was 7 and her mom married Wayne," Jack nodded. "She came to my house that night and slept in my bed."

"She's not doing well. I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Sawyer replied. "And she wants another baby...but today she 'let' Katie get hurt. I just don't see how we're gonna have another baby right now."

"Ok," Jack sighed. "I'm gonna say something to you, but you have to promise you won't tell Kate."

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"And I'm only telling you now, so that when I tell Kate we can both help her deal," Jack continued.

"You dyin' or somethin'?" Sawyer asked, being serious.

"No," he shook his head. "Juliet's pregnant."

"Really?" he mumbled. "I didn't even know you wanted a kid."

"We didn't really," Jack shrugged. "We weren't even trying."

"You're right," Sawyer mumbled. "Don't tell Kate."

"Wouldn't that be crazy if you guys got pregnant, and then our kids were close in age?" Jack asked.

"It wouldn't necessarily be crazy. I wouldn't mind it...Kate's freaking out," Sawyer responded. "I mean, I love her so much...I love her more than anything, but she's just-she's completely devestated by this."

"Well I know that you just want to take care of her," Jack answered. "Did you want me to take the kids tonight?"

"Naw," he shook his head. "They'll be fine. They hate it when we're not there to tuck them in too...thanks doc. And by the way...congrats."

"Thanks," Jack nodded. "See ya later."

Jack disappeared through the door and Sawyer let out a deep breath. He looked down at Katie who was tugging on his pant leg.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Mommy sad," she told him. Sawyer sighed and went up the stairs. He went into their bedroom and Kate wasn't in there. Clementine and Katie had followed him up the stairs. Clem looked up at Sawyer and pointed.

"Sammy's room," she said quietly. He shook his head and walked out of the room.

"You girls stay here ok?" he asked. Katie and Clementine both sat down on the floor, staying in Sawyer and Kate's room. Sawyer walked over to Sammy's room. He carefully opened the door and saw Kate. She was gathering the stuff into piles. There were trash bags full of what Sawyer could only guess was Sammy's stuff.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I'm packing Sammy's room up," she answered with no emotion. "You can help if you want."

"Kate, stop," he said quietly.

"I can't," she shook her head. "I'm done. I was laughing and smiling today."

"Yeah," he nodded. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is!" she yelled. "I shouldn't be laughing!"

"Kate, you can't spend the rest of your life crying," he told her.

"I'm not going to," she replied. "Can you hand me that teddy bear?"

"Sam's favorite," he whispered picking it up.

"Shut up," she stated. "If you're gonna help me, then you can't talk about him ok?"

"What are you gonna do with all this Kate?" he asked.

"I'm gonna throw it away," she respondede.

"No," he shook his head. "We can't throw out Sammy's bear."

"Watch me," she grabbed it from him and stuffed it into the garbage bag.

"Kate, stop," he said grabbing her by the wrists.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Let go of me!"

She struggled against him, but he was much stronger and held on to her wrists tighter. She finally gave up and looked at him. She was sobbing softly. Sawyer bit his lip and hugged her. He stood up and brought her with him. She didn't seem like she was going to move. He picked her up and carried her out of the room. When he went into their bedroom he nearly fell over from tripping over Clementine. He put Kate on the bed and looked down at the girls. He bent down in front of them.

"Go hug mommy and tell her you love her," he whispered quietly. The girls both stood up and ran toward the bed. Clementine climbed up on the bed with ease, but Katie who was still a bit too short, started whining softly. Sawyer put her up on the bed and both the girls crawled over to Kate.

"I love you mommy," Clementine said. She hugged her and Kate smiled and hugged her back.

"Me too!" Katie exclaimed wanting to hug Kate too. Kate hugged Katie and kissed both kids on the heads.

"Ok," Sawyer breathed. "Bedtime."

"No!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yes!" Sawyer mimicked. "Come here."

Katie jumped off the bed into his arms and he carried her to her room. He set her down in her bed and gave her a small kiss.

"G'night Katie," he said quietly.

"Love you daddy," she whispered.

"I love you too," he replied.

He hugged her again and walked over to Clementine's room. Clementine was reading a book, and she looked up when she heard Sawyer.

"Hey darlin'," he said.

"Hi daddy," she answered.

"What are you readin'?" he asked.

"A book," she responded.

"Ooh, smarty pants huh?" he chuckled. He sat down on the bed next to her and looked at the book. It was a Dr. Seuss book that had only a couple words per page, but was perfect for a 4 and a half year old.

"Do you wanna read to me?" he asked.

"No daddy, you read," she replied.

"Ok," he nodded. He read her the book and then left the room. When he went back to his own room Kate was already sleeping. He got into bed next to her and covered her with the blanket.

"Night Freckles," he whispered. He closed his eyes, and then felt Kate's lips press against his. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her back for a minute.

"I love you," she said quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too Freckles," he responded quietly. "Are you ok? I mean I know that you're not, but-what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to give me a baby," she answered. "And by the way...I heard you talking to Jack and I know that he's having a baby."

"Kate," he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. "It's ok. It's not your fault that Jack is having a baby. But I still want another baby Sawyer. It's not going to change my mind. Nothing will change my mind."

"Ok," he replied. "We can try to have another baby Kate. But I just don't want you to get frustrated if it doesn't happen right away."

"You don't think it will?" she asked. "You think that we're gonna-"

"Kate, I don't know," he answered. "I don't know what's going to happen, and I don't know how long it will take. I can't know. I just keep thinking back to what happened last time. It took us almost 5 months."

"Yeah," she stated. "And now that kid is dead."

"Shh," he said putting his hands on her face. "Freckles it's ok. We'll figure something out, and you'll get pregnant."

**A/N: OK so please please review! I hope you liked it. I'm so fraking psyched up for the season 4 to start it's not even funny. I'm just sad that we're not getting a full season b/c of the damn writers strike. Anyway that is all...hope to be hearing for you all. **


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

**1 Month Later**

Kate was sitting in the bathroom with Sawyer. He was holding the test and her hands were shaking. Sawyer turned the pregnancy test in his hand.

"How long has it been?" he mumbled.

"Two minutes," she whispered back. "It's time."

He turned the pregnancy test over looked at it. Kate shook her head and refused to look at it. Sawyer looked at it and saw two pink lines. He looked at Kate, who still wasn't looking at it.

"Kate," he whispered. "Look."

She looked at it and saw the two pink lines too.

"You're pregnant," he smiled. She looked at him with a large smile and hugged him tightly. He smiled bacck at her and kissed her. They could both hear Katie and Clementine talking to Jack. Sawyer stood up and helped Kate stand. She wrapped her arms around him again and jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he laughed. "Let's go tell Jack."

"Way to ruin a moment," she smiled. She kissed his lips and got down on her feet again. She walked past him and toward the living room. Sawyer followed her close behind. Kate looked at Jack and Juliet. She was sitting with her hands on her stomach, even though she wasn't showing at all yet.

"I'm going to kindygarnen," Clementine told Juliet.

"Kindygarnen huh?" Juliet smirked.

"We've been trying to teach her that it's kindergarten, but she doesn't seem to want to listen," Sawyer chuckled.

"When is it daddy?" Clementine asked.

"2 more weeks," he answered.

"No now!" she exclaimed.

"You can wait 2 weeks," he told her. "I promise. Before you know it kindygarnen will be here...but soon it will be done."

"Nuh uh daddy," Clementine told him.

"Yuh huh Clem," he replied.

"So are we gonna tell them?" Kate asked. "Because I can't take it anymore...I'm pregnant."

"Well I guess we are," Sawyer chuckled.

"You are?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "According to the test I am."

"Congratulations Kate," Jack said, walking toward her. She stood up and hugged him.

Sawyer and Kate hung out with Jack and Juliet almost every night after that. Jack was sitting next to Juliet, and Kate and Sawyer were sitting on the floor with the girls. Sawyer was helping Clementine read a book. She kept stumbling on words and getting mad at herself. Finally she took the book from Sawyer's hands and threw it across the room.

"I'm too dumb!" she exclaimed.

"Clem," Sawyer whispered. "You're not dumb. You're smart."

"Nuh uh," she shook her head.

"Well, maybe that book was just a little too hard for you," he responded.

"Cuz I'm dumb," she argued.

"Clem," he shook his head. "You're being silly."

"Silly is another word for dumb," she told him.

"Well if you know that, then you must not be that dumb Clementine," Juliet replied.

After Jack and Juliet left Kate and Sawyer put the kids to bed. Kate went back into Katie's room. She watched Katie sleep and felt Sawyer walk up behind her. He put his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," she whispered. "What if Katie? God what if they missed something in her too?"

"But they didn't," he answered.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean what if there's still something wrong with her. Tomorrow I'm calling her doctor and I'm gonna take her in to see if they can do more tests."

"Ok," he replied. "That's not a bad idea, but why didn't you want to do that a month and a half ago when-"

"Because a month and a half ago I was kind of busy trying to get over our son's death."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Sorry."

"Why didn't you think of it?" she asked. "She's your daughter too."

"Kate," he mumbled. "That's not fair."

"I know," she sighed. "I know that. But tomorrow I'm gonna see when the doctor can see Katie. I don't need to lose another kid because of something stupid...something that we could have caught."

"Ok," he replied. "I agree. Call Katie's doctor tomorrow and everything will be figured out."

The next day when Kate called the doctor he told her that he would be able to see Katie that day, which was surprising to Kate. She figured that it would be at least a week before she was going to get an appointment. She called Juliet and she came over to watch Clementine while Kate went to take Katie to the hospital.

Kate was waiting for the doctor to come back with Katie. He had been gone for 40 minutes doing tests on her. Kate didn't bother calling Sawyer. She wouldn't call him unless something had happened. Kate was waiting for them with her head resting on her hand. A nurse walked up to her and handed her a styrofoam cup of water.

"Here," the nurse said quietly. Kate jumped and sighed.

"Thanks," Kate sighed.

"I'm sure your daughter is going to be fine," the nurse assured her.

"Well, you've got good bedside manner I guess, but I think that's for the doctor to find out...not for you to try and tell me."

Finally after it being nearly an hour the doctor came walking back. He was holding Katie who was sucking her thumb and looking somewhat upset.

"Katie," Kate whispered. She took Katie from the doctor and held her close. "Are you ok?"

"Yes," she said.

"OK," Kate sighed. "I'm gonna talk to the doctor for a minute ok?"

She sat down on the seat and put Katie on her lap. She was rocking slowly and looking at the doctor.

"Do you wanna tell me what's up?" she asked.

"Same as always Kate," the doctor answered. "Katie is ok. As long as she keeps taking the medicine every day she'll be fine."

"You didn't find anything new?" she questioned. "My son-"

"I heard about your son Kate," he replied. "I'm very sorry about that. Kate is fine. She doesn't have anything that we haven't already caught.

"Thank you," Kate whispered. She bounced Katie on her lap and then stood up.

"Home mommy?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kate said. "We're going home now."

When Kate got home Juliet was sleeping on the couch. Clementine was playing quietly on the floor with an old barbie of Kate's. It had no head, but Clementine seemed to be enjoying herself anyway.

"Katie ok?" Clementine asked.

"Yep," Kate nodded. "Katie is ok. She's good I promise."

"Julie sleeping," Clementine pointed to Juliet.

"I see that," Kate replied. Kate tapped Juliet on the shoulder

"Jules, I'm home," she said quietly.

"Hmm," Juliet rolled over and sat up. "Hmm. Sorry. I was tired. Is Clementine ok?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Clem's fine. She's sitting here playing with her barbie."

"It loooks like she needs a new one," Juliet chuckled.

"I like this one," Clementine responded. "Daddy says it's got car-what is it mommy?"

"Character," Kate chuckled.

"Well you're daddy is right about that one," Juliet laughed. "I guess I should get going. I should get home."

"For what?" Kate asked. "Jack's not home yet. He's got class till 8."

"Yeah I know," she nodded. "I just don't want to bug you guys anymore."

"Come on," Kate scoffed. "Stay. It's all good. You can have dinner with us and hang out."

"You sure?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," Kate answered. "It'll be fun."

When Sawyer got home Kate greeted him at the door.

"Katie," she whispered. "She's ok."

"What?" he asked. "Why wouldn't she be ok? What happened?"

"No," she shook her head. "I mean...I took her to the hospital today to do the tests. They said she was fine. No other problems. We just have to keep giving her the same medicine and make sure we give it to her every day."

"I told you she was ok," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "But you know that I had to make sure."

"Yeah," he replied. "Of course you did."

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW**


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: Craziness. Jateskatefate815 reviewed like whoa yesterday and today...she read and reviewed every chapter. so I got an extra 62 reviews in 2 days! That was pretty awesome so thanks so much...you absolutely rock! And of course thanks to all my other reviewers. I think people are still skipping chapters. If you are, you can always go back and make sure you didn't miss anything. Also if you are confused at all and you want to message me to ask me questions feel free.**

**Chapter 63**

Kate and Juliet started hanging out more to help each other with being pregnant. Juliet was terrified of having a baby for the first time, but Kate tried to reassure her that it wasn't as bad as everyone said it was.

"It's really not that bad," Kate told Juliet.

"Freckles," Sawyer began. "Both times that you had a baby you said you couldn't do it."

"Shut up," she scoffed. "I was younger then. Now I'm older and wiser. Just make sure that you get the pain medication."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm not doing any of this natural child birth. After taking the medical classes I've taken...I've realized...take the medication."

"Yeah," Kate replied. "That's what I would recommend."

"Jack," Juliet started. "He's-do you know how hard it is to live with him?"

"Where is this coming from?" Kate asked.

"I know that I should be supportive and care about what he was doing. I mean he's only doing his job," she shrugged. "With my job I only have to work during the day...Jack...he's always gone. He's at that damn hospital. I just want him to come home once and a while."

"I know," Kate nodded. "He's turning into Christian. Christian was never home."

"When he found out I was pregnant," she sighed. "I don't even think he was happy or excited. I mean I told him and he hugged me, but it was one of those emotionless hugs that I know meant nothing. I just miss him."

"Did you tell him that?" Kate asked.

"I can't," Juliet shook her head. "I don't need him to resent me."

"Jules," Kate replied. "He won't resent you...and if he does than that's his problem...not yours. In fact..."

Kate got up and went into the kitchen where the cordless phone was. She picked it up and dialed his cell phone number. She waited and waited...finally he picked up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Jack," Kate responded. "What's up?"

"At work Kate," he chuckled. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," she said, without being that convincing.

"Juliet," he stated, beginning to panic somewhat. "Is she alright?"

"Physically yeah," Kate answered quickly. "She's ok...but Jack-Ok, so before you get mad and interrupt you need to listen to everything that I have to say ok?"

"Alright," he murmured.

"Now I know you remember what it's like when I've been pregnant in the past," she started. "Right now both of us...me and Juliet are emotional wrecks...even in the first few months. She really misses her husband. She just wants you to come home once and a while and sleep in bed with her for more than just a few hours."

"Kate I-" he began.

"Did I tell you that I was done?" she snapped. "Now-she loves you...and that's the reason why she needs you. She needs her husband. When I needed Sawyer, anytime I've ever needed him he's been there in a second."

"Are you saying-" he started

"I'm not done Jack," she sighed. "Jack I know that being a surgeon isn't the easiest thing...and I know that you're in the middle of doing that internship that you worked really hard for, but you don't have to pick up more hours and do above and beyond to impress your bosses and teachers. You have a wife now and she should be coming before your job and school."

"Maybe-" he interrupted.

"I swear to God Jack if you interrupt me again I will hang up this phone," Kate responded.

"I thought you didn't believe in God," he mumbled.

"Jack," she sighed. "Ok so anyway...I know that becoming a doctor means a lot to you. Especially since you want to live on through your father...but don't turn in to him. You know how upset your mom always was that your dad was never there. And I know that you don't want your baby growing up without a daddy. Ok...I'm done now. What do you think?"

"You're right," he murmured. "You're right. I don't want to end up like my dad. And I don't want my baby growing up without a dad. I'll come home as soon as this shift is over."

"What time?" she asked. "I'm gonna tell Juliet."

"Around 3:00," he responded.

"Good," she nodded and hung up the phone.

"Kate," Juliet sighed and laughed at the same time. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yeah I did," Kate said simply. "He'll be home a little after 3...and if he's not, we'll kick his ass."

"Oooh!" Clementine exclaimed. "Daddy, mommy said ass!"

"Kate," he replied.

"What?" she asked.

"You know the rule," he said pointing to a large jar on the top of the fridge. There was about an inch of quarters at the bottom of the jar.

"I-" she started arguing.

"When the kids hear us we gotta put a quarter in the swearing jar," he shrugged.

"Damn," she whispered.

"Ooh mommy 2 quarters!" Katie said with a laugh. Kate reached into her pocket and put two quarters in the jar.

"You said some bad words last night," Kate whispered to Sawyer.

"That doesn't count," he replied. "And plus...the swear jar is only for when the kids hear us."

"Well fine," she scoffed.

**4 Months Later**

Kate was sitting on the swing at the playground. She had her hands on her stomach which was just a small bump at this point. Katie was playing while they waited for Clementine to get out of school.

"Mommy!" Katie screamed. She was at the top of the fire pole clinging on for dear life.

"Mommy," she sobbed. Kate walked over and looked up at her.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked.

"I'm stuck!" she exclaimed. "I'm scared."

"What were you trying to do Katie?" Kate questioned.

"I wanted to be a big kid," she responded. "The big kids were doing this."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "You're ok. Just slide down. You can do it Katie."

"No mommy come get me!" she exclaimed.

"I can't," Kate answered. "Just slide down nice and slow ok? You can do it."

Katie slowly slid down the pole and made it so she was pretty much right in front of Kate. She was only 3 feet off the ground.

"Mommy!" she screamed. "Get me!"

"Katie, you do not have to scream," Kate said calmly. "You're only 3 feet away from the ground."

"Please," she wimpered softly. "I'm scared."

"Ok," Kate sighed. She picked her up and set her down on the ground. There was 10 more minutes left before Clementine got out of school. Kate sat back down on the bench. She could feel the baby kicking and sighed deeply.

"I know," she whispered. "You're sister is gonna be the death of me little baby."

"You're talking to yourself miss," a voice said.

"I'm talking to my baby," Kate answered, glaring at the woman who sat down on the bench next to her.

"Oh," the woman nodded. "I should have had a baby. But it's gone."

Kate looked over again, recognizing the voice.

"Ana?" she asked.

"Hey Kate," Ana answered. "Congratulations. She's beautiful. She looks a lot like Jamie."

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Sammy looked more like him."

"Looked?" Ana asked.

"We had a son," Kate breathed. It was getting more and more easy to talk about him, but it was still hard. "He died about 6 months ago."

"I'm sorry," she replied.

"So you were pregnant?" Kate asked. "What happened?"

"I was stupid," she responded. "I got myself shot 4 times in the stomach. If I hadn't been wearing the vest I would have been dead...sometimes I feel like that would have been easier than losing my baby."

"Who was the father?" Kate questioned. "I mean if you don't mind me asking."

"Jamie," she smirked.

"Ok," Kate chuckled. "Seriously though."

"My partner," she answered. "Isn't that pathetic? The only guy who will sleep with me is a guy that I work with every day...it was all out of pity."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"We had just had a particularly stressful day," Ana began. "And he drove me home. He walked me to my door and we ended up...well 'caught in the sheets'."

"Hmm," Kate breathed. "Well I'm sure that it wasn't all out of pity Ana."

"Oh yeah?" she asked. "He didn't care at all when I lost the baby. In fact he was relieved. He was happy."

"I'm sure he wasn't happy," she shook her head.

"Yeah," Ana nodded. "He was. He didn't want my baby. He had a wife...if I had had the baby it would have ruined everything for him."

"Mommy!" Katie sobbed. Kate looked toward Katie and she was at the top of the fire pole again. Kate sighed deeply and stood up.

"Katie Diane Ford," Kate stated putting her hands on her hips, but staying by the bench. "What the hell did you climb up there again?"

"Ooh quarter," Katie said pointing at Kate. When she let go of the fire pole she started to fall. Kate tried to run to catch her but it was too late. Ana ran faster than Kate and got to there right before Katie hit the ground.

"Gotcha," Ana said.

"Mommy!" Katie sobbed. Kate ran toward them and took Katie from Ana.

"Shh," Kate whispered. "You're ok."

"Mommy," she cried. "Mommy."

"I know," Kate sighed. "That was scary huh? Shh. You're ok. Ana...thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done."

"Hmm, she's a tough kid. I'm sure she would have been ok even if I wasn't in time," Ana said confidently.

"I'm not," Kate shook her head. "And I wasn't really in the mood for a trip to the hospital...Katie, this is really really important ok? Can you breathe?"

"Yes mommy," she sobbed, still crying hard, but taking breaths.

"Does your chest hurt at all?" Kate asked.

"No mommy," she breathed, calming down a little bit.

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Ok."

She hugged Katie tightly and took another deep breath. Clementine came running over and looked at Kate.

"Mommy schools out!" she exclaimed. "My teacher saw you."

"Hey baby," Kate said. She hugged Clementine too. "You're sister almost gave me a heart attack."

"Why?" Clementine asked.

"She fell from the fire pole."

"Katie, that's scary," Clementine stated. "It's too high for me."

"Haha!" Katie exclaimed. "Clementine is scareder than me!"

"If I remember correctly young lady you got scared both time you climbed up there," Kate sighed. "If you do that again...Don't do that ever again Katie."

"Why not?" she giggled.

"Come on...let's go home," Kate replied.

"It was nice to see you again Kate," Ana said.

"Thanks," Kate smiled. "You too. We should hang out soon. You know. Come over and have dinner with the family?"

"Really?" she asked. "I figured you wouldn't want me anywhere near your husband."

"It's been 3 years," Kate said. "I think I'm over it now."

"Maybe I will," she replied. "But tonight I have plans."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "See you around Ana."

Kate walked home with the kids. On the way there Katie stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. Kate and Clementine kept walking, until Kate realized that Katie was standing 20 feet back.

"Katie come on," Kate said.

"No mommy," she shook her head. "I'm tired. Will you carry me?"

Kate sighed and walked over to her. She picked her up and walked down the sidewalk. They were almost to the house when Kate spotted Sawyer standing on the sidewalk. Clementine went running toward him. Katie struggled out of Kate's arms and ran toward Sawyer too.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked.

"School daddy," Clementine answered. "I'm ready for lunch now...momma is that ok?"

"Of course," she smiled. They all walked into the house. Kate sat down at the table and put her hand to her head and her feet up on one of the chairs.

"Why were you carrying Katie?" Sawyer asked her.

"She was tired," Kate responded. "She almost killed herself today. She fell of that fire pole thing...Ana Lucia caught her."

"Ana?" he asked.

"She was at the park," she said. "I think she's gonna come over soon. I invited her."

"You, of all people invited her over?" Sawyer asked.

"Yep," she nodded.

"Mommy," Katie said tugging on Kate's pants.

"What is it darlin'?" she asked.

"My head hurts," she answered.

"Why does your head hurt?" Kate questioned.

"I don't know," she replied.

"Katie, where does your head hurt?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "My head just hurts."

"Where?" Kate asked again, this time getting a little angry.

"I don't know mommy," Katie answered.

"Katie where does your head hurt!" Kate yelled getting down on her knees.

"Mommy why are you yelling?" Katie frowned.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. He got down on his knees too and got in front of Katie. "Katie you need to tell me where on your head...and what kind of pain it is ok?"

"I don't know daddy," she said starting to cry.

"Just point," he said calmly. "Point to where on your head."

"There," she said pointing to the side and near the back.

"On both sides?" he asked.

"Yeah. And here," she answered putting her hand to the back of her head. Sawyer looked at her and nodded.

"Ok, now is it a sharp pain like someone was hitting you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I feel like my head is big."

"So it's like a lot of pressure?" he asked.

"I don't know daddy," she replied.

"Ok," he whispered.

"Here, let me get you a glass of water and see what happens ok," he stated quietly. He handed her a glass of water and she drank it slowly.

"Now," he started. "If your head still hurts when Sesame Street is over then you come get me ok?"

"Ok daddy," she nodded. She walked back to where Clementine was watching TV and she took the remote.

"No Katie!" Clementine exclaimed. "That's a baby show!"

"Daddy said when Sesame Street was over!"

"Clem," Sawyer nodded. "Come here really quick?"

"What did I do wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing I promise," he responded. "Just come here."

She walked toward him and sighed. "What?"

"None of that attitude missy," he stated. "Now...I told your sister to come get me when Sesame Street is over so can you wait for me? Just let her watch Sesame Street for 10 more minutes and then you can watch a show ok? "

"Well 10 minutes isn't very long," she shrugged. "Look daddy."

She showed Sawyer her wrist and there was a small watch placed on it.

"Ooh, you learning how to tell time?" he asked.

"Yep, right now it is 3:50...um 3:53," she answered. "So that means 7 more minutes of dumb Sesame Street."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Good job."

Clementine went back over to sit with Katie and Sawyer stared at Kate.

"What?" she asked. "What did I do?"

"Kate," he sighed and he knelt in front of her. "I know that I wasn't there for the fall or whatever, but you said that Ana saved her."

"I-" she started. "I'm just worried. What if she hurt her brain when she fell?"

"I don't think she did. How long did she cry for after it happened? A while?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "A little."

"It's probably just from that," he shrugged. "She'll be ok. But darlin' you didn't have to yell at her and make things worse."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me," he replied.

10 minutes later Sawyer called Katie over.

"No daddy!" she exclaimed.

"Come here for a couple minutes I promise," Sawyer said.

"No I'm watching Elmo!" she exclaimed.

"Isn't Sesame Street over yet?" he asked.

"Yeah, but the Elmo show started," she answered.

"Daddy make her change it!" Clementine said. "I want to watch something else."

"Katie, come here," Sawyer said again. She walked over to him and looked up, slightly annoyed.

"How's your headache?" he asked.

"All gone," she said.

"All gone?" he asked. "None at all?"

"No way daddy," she answered.

"Well alright," he stated. "You can go play then."

"But first," Kate replied. "Come here Katie."

Katie walked toward Kate slowly. She really didn't want to go near Kate and she was still kind of mad at her.

"Katie I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings and yelled at you. Come here."

Kate picked up the 4 year old and held her close. Katie wriggled from her grip and ran toward Sawyer.

"Daddy," she said sadly.

"Mommy's sorry," he told her. "Mommy is so sorry. Look. She's crying."

Katie looked back and sure enough Kate had tears in her eyes. Sawyer set Katie back down and pushed her softly toward Kate. Katie was still frowning, but she let Kate pick her up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was just so scared. I was really scared that something might have happened to you when you fell."

"But that lady caught me," Katie responded.

"I know," Kate nodded. "But when you said that you had a headache...it just scared mommy. I love you Katie."

"I love you too mommy," she answered.

Katie bounced off her lap and went back to the living room to watch TV. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and put his arms around her. She shook her head and looked at him.

"I think we're having a girl," she told him.

"Are you happy or sad about that Freckles?" he asked.

"Well," she began. "You know how much I love Katie and Clem...I just sort of wanted a boy."

"Maybe it is a boy," Sawyer replied. "I mean you don't know for a fact what you're having."

**A/N: OK so please please review!**


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: Alright so did ya'll read chapter 63? I'm gonna do a quick recap just in case you missed it, and as you're reading this recap thing you might realize it and be able to go back. So Kate had a talk with Jack about him not being there for Juliet and she also ran into Ana at the play ground, where Katie almost fell twice off the fire pole...sounding familiar? No...then go back! We have to go back Kate! Sorry...ok read on.**

**Chapter 64**

_**4 Months Later**_

Kate was very pregnant. She was about to give birth any day. Juliet had already had her baby. It was a healthy boy named Jack Christian Shephard. Everyone called him J.C. except for Juliet who called him Jackie. Jack always had strange flashbacks to his childhood when he heard Juliet calling the kid Jackie, but he didn't mind too much.

Kate was sitting on the couch rubbing her stomach with her eyes closed. Sawyer walked up and watched her with an amused look on his face.

"Whatcha doin'?" he said somewhat loudly. Kate who got startled opend her eyes quickly and jumped.

"Dammit, now I have to start over!" she exclaimed.

"What are you doin'?" he asked again, this time really wondering what the hell she was doing.

"I'm making myself go into labor," she answered. "I read in this book if you close your eyes and visualize yourself giving birth it works. You go in to labor within 30-60 minutes."

"Kate you know that's bull," he scoffed.

"It only works for women that have already had kids...and I have. It'll work," as she spoke Sawyer continued to look at her like she was crazy. "Shut up. Just let me try this. I want this baby out of me right now. Neither of the other kids were this huge. I feel like I'm having twins."

"Maybe you are," he shrugged. "That phantom twin thing...one hides behind the other."

"Please no," she shook her head. "Will you do me a favor though?"

"What?" he asked.

"My feet are killing me," she said.

"Give em here," he scoffed. She smiled at him and put her feet in his lap. He was rubbing them for a few minutes until he looked down and noticed that Kate was sleeping soundly. He carefully stood up and covered her with a blanket.

"Dad-" Clementine started loud.

"Shh!" he exclaimed as softly as he could. "Mommy's sleepin' ok?"

"OK," she nodded and frowned and started out of the room.

"Hold it there Cinderella," he said following her and picking her up. "Let's go up and have one of our world famous talks ok?"

He took her up to her room where Katie was sitting playing.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed loudly.

"Well hello there Dorothy," he greeted. He started calling Clementine Cinderella a few months ago when that was the only thing that Clementine would watch. Katie was jealous and she wanted a nick name too. At first she wanted Ariel, but Clementine told her that she didn't have the right hair color. After 10 minutes of a temper tantrum Kate and Sawyer together decided on Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Not only did it stop Katie from crying, but it got a healthy 'Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah from her to Clementine.

"Why can't I look like mommy?" Clementine pouted.

"Because you get to look like me instead," he chuckled.

"But you're a boy," she complained.

"Clementine...do you remember your other mommy?" he asked. "The one before you came here to live?"

"Not really," she shook her head.

"Oh, wait right there!" he exclaimed. He remembered that he still had that damn picture of him and Cassidy. He kept it well hidden from Kate, but he decided that it was time that Clementine could at least see it. He came back and squatted down.

"She's pretty," Clementine pointed out.

"She's your other mommy," Sawyer stated. "Before you came to live with me and mommy, you had another mommy."

"Your real mommy," Katie said, trying to help, but not realizing that this would make it worse.

"Mommy is my mommy!" Clementine exclaimed with tears coming into her eyes.

"Katie why don't you go wait for me in your room and we'll have some daddy and Dorothy time ok?" he asked.

"Ok daddy," she pouted and left.

"Clem," Sawyer began. "You're right. Mommy is your real mommy...but-boy I wish you had asked me about this when you were a little older...Ok. Everyone has a mommy and a daddy."

"Nuh uh," Clementine shook her head. "There's a boy in my class with two mommies."

Sawyer hung his head in exasperation and sighed.

"Ok," he nodded. "There's some exceptions to that. But everyone has a mommy and a daddy normally. And when the mommy and daddy decide that they love each other very very much they decide they're gonna have a baby."

"Mommy's having a baby!" she exclaimed. "You and mommy have 3 babies then, and 4 if you count Sammy."

"Sammy always counts," he told her.

"So since you have 4 does that mean you love each other more than anything."

"Clem just lemme try and explain this a little better," he sighed. "Before I met mommy I knew this lady."

He pointed to Cassidy and looked at Clementine who looked a lot like her except for Sawyer's blonde hair.

"This lady's name was Cassidy," he continued to explain. "And she and I loved each other very very much so we had a baby."

"Who?" she asked.

"You," he replied.

"So where is she?" Clementine asked. "Where's my other mommy?"

"Clem," he whispered. "This mommy got very sick."

"Very sick like Sammy?" she asked.

"Yeah," he swallowed hard. "Very sick like Sammy...and she knew that me and your new mommy would love you very very much so you came here to stay with us."

"So Katie's right," Clementine pouted. "Mommy isn't my real mommy!"

"Yes she is," Sawyer nodded.

"No!" Clementine exclaimed. "I want my real mommy!"

"Clem," he sighed. "My little Cinderella...Mommy is in heaven with Sammy. But this mommy loves you more than anything else in the whole world ok? So it's ok to love her too."

"I want to see my real mommy!" she yelled.

"You can't," he answered.

"No!" she interrupted. "The picture."

Sawyer handed her the picture again and Clementine got onto her bed to look at it. Sawyer followed her and put his arm around her.

"Do you have any more questions?" he asked.

"Did my real mommy love me?" she questioned.

"More than anything," he nodded. Sawyer got up and started to walk away.

"Daddy," Clementine stopped him.

"Yes darlin'," he replied turning back around.

"Since mommy and Sammy are both in heaven...I think mommy will take care of him," she told him.

"I think so too," he said, forcing the lump in his throat to go away. Sawyer walked back to Katie's room and she was sitting on the floor trying to read. Sawyer could already tell that it was going to cause a major problems. Katie was already ahead of Clementine in reading...and Clementine was older. He told Katie to pretend that she couldn't read when she was in front of Clementine. Katie really didn't understand why, but she did.

"Hey Katie," he said.

"Dorothy daddy," she corrected him.

"Oh," he nodded. "Sorry about that one."

"Daddy is there another book that I can read?" she asked. "I wanna read the books like Clementine's."

"I'll get you a book," he told her. "Don't worry. We'll get you a bigger kid book, but we're gonna hide it for a little while ok?"

"But why daddy?" she asked.

"Ok," he sighed. "Remember when Clementine got to go to Kindergarten and you didn't?"

"Yeah, but daddy I get to go in a couple months."

"That's right," he nodded. "But then Clementine will be in first grade. But remember how it made you feel bad that Clementine got to go to school, but you had to stay home with mommy."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Ok, well it would make Clementine feel sad and very bad if you were reading a bigger book in front of her," Sawyer told her.

"Well how come she doesn't read it too then?" she asked. "We could just read it together."

"Because you're younger than her," he responded. "And since you're younger, she wants to know more than you."

"But she does!" Katie exclaimed. "She knows how to count to 100 without making no mistakes."

"Without making ANY mistakes," Sawyer corrected her.

"Daddy you talk like that," she argued.

"Alright," he sighed. "No point on arguing with you on that one."

"I know that daddy," she chuckled. "_And_ daddy she can do pluses."

"Pluses?" he asked.

"Like 1 plus 1 equals," she said.

"Oh Katie, you know 1 plus 1," he laughed.

"No I don't," she shrugged.

"Well then I'm gonna teach you that one right now, because everyone should know that," he replied. "Now, count my fingers."

Sawyer held up to fingers.

"One, two," she answered.

"That's one plus one," he told her.

"One plus one is...one, two?" she asked. "That _is_ easy."

"No!" he exclaimed and chuckled. "Just count the two fingers Katie and that's the answer. I'm gonna give you a little bit tougher one ok?"

He held up two fingers on one hand and two fingers on the other.

"Now count," he told her. She counted and then looked at him confused. He counted for her and told her the answer. The next problem they did was two plus three, which Katie finally figured out was the answer was five. It took her what seemed to Sawyer like forever, but she did it eventually and didn't need any help at all.

After his math lesson with Katie, and his genetics lesson that he tried to give Clementine he went back downstairs. Clementine was down there already curled up on Kate's lap. She was crying. Sawyer kicked himself for ever telling her about Cassidy, but he didn't know what else he was supposed to do. Kate was running her fingers through Clementine's hair and she sighed deeply.

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "Why would you ever bring up Cassidy?"

"She was upset because she doesn't look like you," he shrugged. "I for one think she looks a lot like Cassidy and since I didn't want her thinking that she looks like a boy I told her about Cass."

"Hmm," Kate mumbled. "I guess you were in a pretty tough spot."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I had no idea what to do Freckles. When she gets older it will be a lot more easy to explain to her, but for now I did the basics."

"Are you gonna tell her about conning her mom?" Kate asked.

"What does conning mean?" Clementine asked.

"That one you'll find out when you're older," Sawyer told her.

"How old?" she questioned.

"15 and a half," he replied.

"Ok daddy," she agreed. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and then stood right back up.

"Kate," he looked down at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Uh...your water broke?" he said...not really questioning the fact that her water broke, but questioning the fact as to why she didn't notice it.

**A/N: OK so I was so gonna have her have the baby in this chapter, but I'm not sure what I want to make the baby yet, so boy or girl. Please review even if it's just to say boy or girl. Thanks so much!**


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

Kate stood up and started laughing. She looked at Sawyer and flashed him a large smile and hugged him. He looked at her like she was crazy and she continued to laugh.

"Mommy are you crazy?" Clementine asked standing up and jumping up to Sawyer's arms.

"I was gonna ask the same thing," Sawyer chuckled.

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm completley nuts. That damn trance thing worked!"

"Mommy swear jar," Clementine stated.

"Clem, why don't you go upstairs and Jack will be over in a couple minutes to play with you guys?"

"Is Juliet and J coming too?!" she asked enthusiastically.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Freckles, I'm gonna call Jack."

Jack came over quickly and Sawyer and Kate left without saying goodbye to either of the girls. Kate knew it was a mistake, but she just needed to get to the hospital. When they got there Sawyer helped Kate into a wheelchair. They were walking through the hall, and Kate was staying quiet.

"Freckles, what's the matter?" he asked.

"Something's wrong Sawyer," she whispered. He stopped walking and knelt down in front of her.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not having contractions," she stated. "I haven't even had one. And my damn water broke and now the baby won't be able to survive."

"Kate," he whispered. "Everything is going to be ok. I promise."

Sawyer rolled Kate up to the desk and they both told the nurse what was happening. The woman stood up quickly and immediately went to find a doctor. Kate grabbed on to Sawyer's hand and he sighed softly.

"Kate," he began softly. "I know that you're scared. But you're going to be ok. Nothing is going to happen to this baby."

"How do you know?" she frowned.

"Because," he sighed. "God isn't that cruel."

"If anything happens James," she shook her head. "I'm done. There's no heaven, there's nothing."

"I thought that you already gave up on that notion Kate," he said.

"I did," she nodded. "But I'll know for a fact that I'm right if anything happens."

"Mrs. Ford?" the nurse said walking up to her. "We have a room for you and the doctor will see you in about 5 minutes. He's been doing this for almost 30 years so-"

"No," Kate shook her head. "I want my doctor. The doctor who delivered my other kids. Dr. Schulz. Please where is she?"

"She's on vacation this week," the nurse shrugged. "But Dr. Michael is really very good. I promise. He's gone through pretty much any crisis you can think of alright?"

The nurse was pretty close as to when the doctor came into the room. The nurse was still hooking Kate up to the monitors when he came in. He looked at her sympathetically.

"Katherine?" he asked.

"Please, call me Kate," she replied.

"Ok...I'm Dr. Michael, but you can just call me Michael," he smiled.

"Your name is Michael Michael?" Sawyer asked. "What were your parents thinking?"

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed.

"No," he chuckled. "It's ok. You'd be surprised how many fathers say that. No. My first name is Dan. But everyone calls me Michael because that's my last name. Now I don't know if Lindsey here gave you the information, but I have been doing this for forever. We'll get down to it and figure out what's happening. Now you say that your water broke?"

"I was doing that meditation thing that's like...if you visualize giving birth you'll go into labor. My water broke, and I kept waiting for the contractions to start and they just never did."

"Ok," the doctor nodded. "I'm gonna take care of you Kate. Do you trust me?"

"What?" she asked.

"Do you trust me? Yes or no? It's important to me that you trust me," he told her.

"Yes," she nodded. "I trust you."

"Ok," he smiled. "Let's figure out what's going on."

He examined her and looked at the machines. He was talking to her calmly the entire time. She felt relaxed even though she was scared.

"I'm gonna go get a nurse and you're going to have this baby soon. I promise in another couple hours you'll have that baby in your arms," he said. "I'll be back in 10 minutes ok...10."

Kate sighed and watched the doctor leave. She still wasn't having contractions and she was still really scared, but she wasn't holding Sawyer's hand as tightly. He watched the doctor leave too and then looked back down at Kate.

"You ok?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't get why all this shit has to happen to us. Why can't for once we have a normal birth or a normal day...I don't-I want to be a normal family."

"We are a normal family," he told her. "And you owe the swear jar a couple more quarters."

She looked up and him and scoffed, but smiled. She sat up slightly and wrapped her arms around him. He sat down on the bed next to her and hugged her back. He kissed her on the lips softly and looked at her.

The doctor came back and did another quick examination.

"Ok Kate," he sighed. "Now don't panic, but we're gonna have to take you into the operating room right now."

"How is that not going to panic her?" Sawyer asked.

"Sawyer, it's ok," she whispered. "What's going on?"

"We have to give you a C-section. We were hoping that you would have already been dialted and that contractions might start up, but it didn't. So we have to get the baby as soon as possible."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Don't let the baby die. If it's a choice between the baby and me...let the baby live."

"No!" Sawyer yelled. "That ain't your decision Kate!"

"Yes it is," she whispered. "Sawyer, I can't lose another baby."

"I know," he nodded. "But I can't lose you and the girls can't grow up without their mom."

"Sawyer," she said quietly. "No. If this-"

"It won't be," the doctor stated. "We're not going to lose either of you. Let's get that baby outta you though ok?"

When Kate and Sawyer got into the operating room the monitors started beeping faster. It was Kate's vitals that were having the problem. Sawyer started to panic, but when the doctor told him to calm down and hold her hands, he did. He got the baby out quickly, much quicker than Sawyer ever anticipated. Kate and the baby were fine by the end of everything.

Sawyer was standing in front of the nursery looking in on the babies. He could hear Katie and Clementine talking on in the hall. He looked toward the noises and saw Jack with the kids. Katie came running toward him at full speed. He picked her up and rocked her.

"Hey," he whispered. "You wanna see your baby brother?"

"Yeah," she nodded. He turned toward the window and pointed at a baby who was sleeping soundly.

"Me too daddy!" Clementine exclaimed, trying to see over the wall. Jack picked her up and pointed to the baby.

"What'd you name him?" Jack asked.

"Name?" he asked. "Kate can't decide. She's just bein' difficult. I suggested Barnaby but she didn't like that name."

"Barney!" Katie exclaimed.

"Ooh, good idea," he replied.

"Well whatever you pick I'm sure it'll fit him perfect," Jack replied. "What about Sam?"

"Kate doesn't want Sam or James. Samuel James was our other kid," he shrugged. "I don't really want to do that either."

"You'll think of something," he answered.

"I wanna see mommy," Clementine said.

"Ok, let's go see mommy then," Sawyer stated. They walked back to the room and Kate was sleeping. Katie and Clementine didn't seem to care and jumped toward the bed. Kate woke up and hugged both the girls.

"I thought of a name," Kate whispered. "Matthew."

"Matthew," Sawyer repeated. "Sounds good to me."

"Matt..." she began. "Sawyer don't get mad."

"Kate," he said, sitting down on the bed next to her. "I could never get mad at you for anything. Especially not today. So what were you gonna say sweetheart?"

"I was going to say that-" she sighed. "I think we should name him Matthew James...mainly after you, but partly because of Sammy."

"Freckles," he whispered and put his hands on her face. He kissed her and kept his hands on her face. He could feel the tears hit his thumbs and backed off of her. And looked at her a little bit concerned.

"No," she shook her head and sniffled. "These are good tears. I'm happy. We have a son, and he's perfect. I made them check him for an hour."

"He looks a lot like you," Sawyer told her.

"I know," she nodded and wiped her cheeks. "But he's just so...I don't know Sawyer. He's amazing. I can't wait to get him home."

Jack sat down on the chair near the bed and picked Katie up. He put her on his lap, and she looked at him.

"Jack, where's J.C?" she asked.

"He's at home with Juliet," he responded. "Don't you remember?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I thought Juliet was coming."

"I want to see him," Kate said, starting to get out of bed, and push herself out of Sawyer's arms. As Sawyer started to protest, the nurse came into the room pushing the baby in his bed.

"Do you want to try feeding him?" she asked. Kate sat up more in her spot and the nurse handed the baby to her. Sawyer looked down at him and then at Kate. Katie and Clementine had crawled on to the bed with Kate and Sawyer. Clementine was sitting on Kate's legs looking over at the baby. Katie sat down on Sawyer's lap and got a closer look.

"Can I hold him mommy?" Clementine asked

"Me too!" Katie exclaimed.

"Not right now," Kate shook her head. "I need to try and feed him I guess. And also...I just don't think you're old enough yet."

"But mommy I'm 6!" Clementine exclaimed.

"And I'm almost 5!" Katie said loudly. The loud noise woke up Matt and he started crying. Kate sighed softly and looked down at the baby. "Shh. Matty, it's ok."

"Why don't you go sit with Jack?" Sawyer said, noticing Kate's exasperation.

"No!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Go on," he said, shooing her away.

"I'm mommy and daddy's favorite!" Katie stated, sticking out her tongue. Clementine lunged toward Katie and started hitting her.

"No!" Katie pushed her back and Clementine fell off the bed. She started crying. Sawyer sighed deeply and put Katie on the floor. He looked down at Clementine.

"You ok Clem?" he asked.

"No," she sobbed.

"Well, lucky for us we're in a hospital. Let's take you down to go get a shot," he said. "And if you're really hurt maybe you can get two."

"No," she shook her head, tears still streaming down her face. "I'm ok."

"Good," he said, rolling his eyes. He sat back up and looked at Kate. She was looking at Matt like he had mesmerized her.

"Look at him," she whispered. He was already sleeping soundly in her arms. "You know, each time I've done this, I keep thinking...there is no way I can love anyone more than I love Katie...but man...he's just. I keep thinking that if Sammy-"

As she hesitated, Sawyer could see tears working their way into her eyes. He hated to see her cry.

"If Sammy hadn't-" she began again.

"Shh," he said shaking his head.

"No," she replied. "If Sammy hadn't died...we never would have even tried for another kid. Matt wouldn't even be here."

"I know," he stated.

"But-" she frowned and Sawyer could see that she was about to cry even harder. He took the baby from her and put him down in his baby bed. She leaned against him and sobbed. "This was a mistake Sawyer."

"What?" he asked.

"Girls," Jack said, standing up. "Why don't we go down to the gift shop and get some candy for you girls, and a present for your new brother."

"Ok," Clementine said. The three left and Sawyer continued to look at Kate.

"What was a mistake darlin'?" he asked. "Not having Matt?"

"Yes," she nodded. "And no. I don't know. I just keep thinking, if Sammy hadn't died I never would have wanted to get pregnant again, at least not right now...but we'd still have our Sammy. I want Sammy."

"I know," he whispered putting his arms around her and laying them down. She wiped her eyes and the nurse came into the room.

"Oh," she said. "Sorry to bother you. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Sawyer put up a hand to tell her it's ok. She asked him silently if she could take the baby back.

"Kate," he whispered. "They're gonna take Matt back now ok?"

"Ok," she wimpered, and nodded.

"Put Matthew James on his name card thing," Sawyer said looking at the nurse.

"Alright," she said quietly. Kate leaned back against Sawyer and sobbed again. He laid down further and rubbed her back.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'm sorry Sawyer. I was happy 10 minutes ago and now I'm sobbing. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Do you want to know what's wrong with you?" he sighed. "Kate, you just had a baby. You're hormones are going nuts on you. You need to just calm down ok? I know how much Sammy meant to you and I know how much you love Matt too. I mean you were just saying how much you love him right?"

"I do," she nodded. "More than anything. I just still miss Sam."

"I know you do honey," he said. "I do too. And we'll probably miss him the rest of our lives...but Kate, it gets better. I promise you."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Hasn't it already gotten a little better?" he questioned. "I'm not saying that it doesn't still hurt-but it's gotten a little better?"

"A little," she frowned. "I guess."

"And in 10 years," he shrugged. "Who knows...maybe we'll have 10 more kids."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," she scoffed.

**A/N: OK so I know this definitely wasn't my strongest chap, but I hope you all were ok with the baby being a boy. I got reviews and 4 people wanted a boy, 3 wanted a girl...at the time that I wrote this so...but maybe in the future they'll have another kid haha. We'll just have to wait and see.**


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66**

Katie and Clementine came back into the room with Jack. Kate had fallen asleep in Sawyer's arms with her arms wrapped around him so tight, he couldn't leave even if he wanted to. Sawyer put his finger to his lips to tell the girls to stay quiet.

"Daddy?" Katie whispered. "We got this."

Katie handed Sawyer a stuffed animal. It was a pink bunny covered in flowers.

"Oh," he chuckled and whispered. "Is this for mommy?"

"No," Clementine shook her head. "For Matt."

"Matt's a boy," he pointed out.

"For Matt!" Katie exclaimed. Kate stirred slightly in Sawyer's arms and then fell back to sleep.

"Shh!" he scolded. "Jack."

"Hey," Jack said quietly standing up. "Why don't we go see Matt again? We can give him the other present we got him."

Jack held up a stuffed dog that looked more manly. Sawyer chuckled and looked at the pink bunny.

"Here," he mumbled. "Give him this too."

Sawyer ran his fingers through Kate's hair and watched her sleep. She woke up a few minutes later and looked at him.

"I wish you could stay here tonight," she whispered. "And just hold me all night."

"The girls bought Matty a pink bunny," he told her.

"Pink?" she asked. "I hate pink."

"I'm not too crazy about it either," he answered. "But the girls picked it out and they want to give it to him."

"That's adorable," she smiled.

"Yeah," he whispered. "It kind of was."

Sawyer leaned down and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. She rolled on top of him and giggled.

"I love you," she said. "I love you so much. Why are you so good to me?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "It's a gift. Darlin', it's because I love you. And you know what...you're pretty damn good to me too."

"Swear jar," she smiled.

"Shut up," he scoffed.

"Daddy," Clementine said. "You're saying bad words. Shut up is a bad word. My teacher told me."

"Well, thanks for lettin' me know," he answered. "Jack, you couldn't give us 10 more minutes?"

"I'm sorry," he shrugged. "Juliet needs me to come home...J.C is sick I guess, she just wants to make sure that it's nothing to horrible. Do you want me to take the girls?"

"Do you mind?" Sawyer asked. "I'll come home soon so that you guys can go home and take care of J.C. I just don't have their car seat things in my car. I'll be right behind you."

"Thanks," Jack nodded. "Normally I'd tell you to stay here, but if J.C is really sick...I don't want him getting the girls sick and I don't want him getting worse."

"I'll be 10 minutes behind you."

When Sawyer got home Juliet was sitting on her couch with her head down in her hands. Sawyer walked toward her and knelt in front of her.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "He's here let's go."

"What? Wait, what happened?" he questioned.

"When Jack got here the baby, he wasn't doing any better. His fever is so high Sawyer," she said quietly. "It's 104...babies shouldn't have that high of fevers."

"Juliet, I'm sure that the baby is going to be ok," he assured her.

"Ok," Jack breathed, holding the baby. "Let's go."

They both left the house quickly and left Sawyer standing there not saying anything. He sat down and sighed softly. Clementine came walking over to him and handed him a book.

"Daddy," she started. "Can you read this to me?"

It was a Disney princess book. Sawyer didn't know why or how Clementine got these books...he sure as hell didn't buy them. He couldn't really see Kate ever buying one.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, making a face at the book.

"School," she answered. "My teacher let me have it."

"Have it?" he asked.

"OK, just for tonight," she replied. Katie walked over to them too and got up on the couch.

"Will you read to me too?" Katie asked.

"What book?" he questioned. She handed him Watership Down. He chuckled and nodded.

"We can read Clem's first," he mumbled. "And then we'll read yours ok?"

"OK," Katie nodded.

He started reading to the girls and when it got late enough he put them to bed. They ended up reading 5 chapters of the book. Sawyer's voice was sore by the time he went back down stairs. He sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. His eyes had only been closed a few seconds when there was a knock at the door. Sawyer got up and went to the door. Jack, Juliet and J.C. were standing in front of them.

"Hey," he said. "What the hell happened? You just left. You-is he ok?"

"Wow," Jack stated with his eyebrows raised. "I never expected you to actually care about it. He's fine. He just had a high temperature. He should be just fine. I'm just gonna keep an eye on him for the next couple of weeks."

"He'll be fine," Juliet nodded.

Jack and Juliet spent most of the rest of the night at Sawyer and Kate's. Sawyer was a little annoyed. He kind of wanted to be alone, but he let them stay.

That night when Sawyer was laying in bed he wasn't able to sleep at all. He got up to go into Sammy's room which was going to become Matt's room. He sat down on the floor and looked around. Kate had packed everything into boxes, but they were still sitting in the room. He started unpacking everything and looked around. The room looked the same, but different at the same time.

Back at the hospital Kate was having just as hard of a time sleeping. She looked at the woman laying next to her. She had just had twins. She wasn't sleeping either.

"What are your babies names?" Kate asked quietly.

"Jessica and Julia," she answered. "What about yours?"

"Matthew," Kate replied. "He's-he's perfect."

"I never thought I could love two people more," the woman next to her stated.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I have 4...3 kids," she said quietly. "Well one of them is kind of a step kid, but I love her like she's my own."

"Really?" she asked. "I would think it would be really hard to do that. To know that your husband was happy with someone else?"

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "But I don't think he really was. I mean we were so young when everything happened. His daughter is only a year and a few months older than ours."

"So what happened?" she questioned. "I know that it really is none of my business but I-"

"No," Kate chuckled. "We're really a facinating bunch. He was with her, and then he met me. We only dated for like 5 months before we got married, and then a couple months later...we had a baby. So before that...he was with someone else."

"And you love his kid?"

"Well," Kate sighed. "I mean-she came to our door one day...she was only 2 years old and her mama died...so we had to take her in and that little girl...she's adorable. She looks just like her daddy."

"Does your son look more like him or you?" she asked.

"Him-me," she said shaking her head. "Me. He's got a full head of dark brown hair, and green eyes, and lots of little freckles."

"He sounds adorable," she smiled.

"Cutest baby in the nursery," Kate chuckled.

"Mine are the ugliest," the woman laughed sitting up. "I mean don't get me wrong...I love them more than life itself...they're just not very cute yet. My mom said it might take a week or two and then they'll be adorable. She said a lot of babies are ugly when they're born."

"I dunno," Kate smirked. "My kids were all pretty when they were born."

"You got lucky I guess," she answered.

"Yeah," Kate whispered. Kate laid back down and started staring at her ring. She started to turn the ring around her finger and think about Sawyer. She couldn't wait to get back home. She always hated the hospital, but most of all she hated spending nights away from Sawyer in her bed.

**A/N: OK so I guess both of those chapters were kind of crappy lol. But I hope you guys still review. I'm gonna update again sometime tomorrow**.


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67**

Sawyer woke up to Clementine and Katie crawling on to the bed. Katie was hitting Sawyer's arm and requesting him to pick her up.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed. He murmured and rolled over. Clementine sat down on his stomach and started hitting his chest.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Breakfast daddy," Clementine said. Sawyer sat up and looked at Clementine with a smirk. Clementine clung on to Sawyer's neck and waited for him to hug her back. He sighed and stoo up. Katie grabbed on to his leg and he nearly tripped over her. He tried to put Clementine down but she locked her fingers together and was holding on tight.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked.

"I miss mommy," she said. "Mommy didn't say goodnight last night."

"Mommy's in the hospital. But she loves you and Katie very much," he told her.

"I want to see her," Katie replied.

"OK," he nodded. "You can see her tonight when she comes home."

"No now!" she exclaimed.

"Alright," he sighed. "It's time to take you to school."

"Nuh uh daddy," Clementine stated.

"Yes huh," he argued.

"Daddy," she began. "It's Sunday."

"Oh," he nodded. "I guess you're not going to school then. But mommy is still at the hospital. You can see her tonight when she comes home."

"Is Sammy coming home too?" Katie asked.

"Matt," Sawyer corrected her.

"Oh yeah," Katie frown. "I'm sorry."

Katie fell to the floor in tears, thinking that Sawyer might be mad at her. He bent down and picked her up. He wiped her eyes with his fingers.

"Shh," he said quietly. "It's ok Katie. Just don't do it in front of mommy ok? In fact...come here, both of you."

Clementine walked over to him and they both took a seat on his lap.

"Now I know that you love mommy and you don't want to hurt her feelings right?" he stated.

"Yeah," Clementine answered.

"I don't want either of you to talk about Sammy when she gets home," he replied. "It would make her very sad ok. So just talk about good things...like Matty."

"Ok daddy," Katie nodded.

That night Jack and Juliet came over with J.C. He was better. His fever was completely gone. Juliet was sitting on the couch with J.C, and the girls were both watching him.

"He's my brother?" Katie asked.

"No," Juliet chuckled. "Your brother is coming home soon though."

"Tonight?" Clementine asked.

"Not tonight," Sawyer shook his head. "A couple more days."

"I want to see mommy right now!" Katie exclaimed. "I want her to tuck me in tonight."

"She will," Sawyer said. "She'll come home really soon. I promise."

That night Sawyer left the house to go pick up Kate. When he got to the hospital she was standing on the sidewalk and looked like she had been crying. Sawyer quickly got out of the car and ran toward her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"What's next week?" she sobbed.

"I know," he whispered. "It's ok."

She leaned against him and sighed deeply. He kissed her on the forehead and looked at her seriously.

"I want to go to the cemetery," she told him.

"Ok," he said. "We can go on the way home."

"No," she sniffled. "Alone. I need to go alone. Is that ok?"

"Of course darlin'," he stated putting his hands on her cheeks. He kissed her softly and she pushed back at him.

"When I get home," she smiled.

"Ok," he nodded. "Fair enough. How are you gonna get there?"

"I'm calling a cab," she responded. "I should be home really soon. I only want to go for a couple minutes. Tell him about his brother."

"Ok," he responded. He kissed her on the cheek and walked back to the car.

"I love you," she told him.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I love you too Freckles"

When Sawyer showed up back at home without Kate, the girls were so upset that both of them threw themselves on the floor. Sawyer sighed softly and settled them down. They both stopped crying, but both asked Sawyer questioned until Kate came home. When Kate got home she walked through the door and looked at the group of people on the couch. Katie and Clementine came running toward her before Sawyer could stop them. He was going to see if she was ok, but she seemed to be. She picked up Katie and looked at her.

"Hey hon," she smiled. "How was your day?"

"You took forever mommy," Katie answered. "I wanted you to come home soon, but you took too long."

"Well, I'm very sorry," she replied. "I tried to come home sooner, but the doctor's wouldn't let me."

"Where's Matty?" Katie asked.

"He has to stay one more night at the hospital."

"Only one?" Sawyer asked, walking toward them.

"Sawyer," she whispered. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Clementine and Katie both walked away from them and to were Jack and Juliet were.

"This could take a while," Jack mumbled to Juliet. Juliet let out a small chuckle and Sawyer and Kate who had over heard walked back toward them.

"You guys are acting like it's been forever since you've seen each other," Juliet stated. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I just missed him. I got almost no sleep last night."

"Me too," Sawyer mumbled. Kate re-wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his neck.

"Guys," Jack sighed. "What the hell is going on?"

"Mommy," Clementine started. "Does the swear jar work on Jack?"

"Sure does," Sawyer nodded.

"Then Jack owes 3 quarters."

"Seriously you guys," Jack began standing up. "Is everything ok? Why are you all over each other? It's kinda freaking me out. You've never acted like this."

"Jack," she whispered. "Do you know what next week is?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Of course I do."

"It's only been a year," she mumbled. "I just got back from the-"

"Kate, I'm sorry," Jack said. "I shouldn't have-"

"It's ok," she answered. "I'm ok. I have to be a mommy to Matt, Katie and Clem. I'm gonna be ok. I have to be ok."

"I'm just glad that she didn't start drinking again after Sammy-" Juliet began and then closed her mouth quickly as Jack threw a stare her direction.

**FLASHBACK-1 year ago...The night of Sammy's funeral.**

Kate was laying in bed next to Sawyer. She had yelled at him earlier in the night not to touch her so he was on the edge of the bed, as far away from her as possible without falling to the floor. This is how she felt right now. She felt like she was drifting away from Sawyer, but it had only been 4 days. She desperately needed a drink. She went into the kitchen and fished the back of the freezer for the bottle of vodka. It wasn't there.

"Dammit," she whispered to herself. She fell to the floor with the freezer door still opened. She started hitting the back of her head against the fridge. She didn't hear Sawyer's footsteps. He stood in front of her and crossed his arms. Not necessarily blaming her for wanting to drink, but a little angry that she wouldn't let him help her through it.

"I dumped it down the drain Kate," he told her. "We're not ever having another bottle of alcohol in this house. Ever."

"Sawyer," she choked. "I need it."

"More than you need me and the girls?" he asked.

"You wouldn't dare," she shook her head. "You wouldn't take them away from me...ok well maybe you could take Clementine from me, but you wouldn't take Katie away...especially not now."

"You have no idea what I would do," he scoffed. "If I thought you were a danger to either of them...you would never see them again Kate."

"I'm never going to see Sammy again!" she screamed standing up and getting in his face. "Isn't that enough! And it's my fault! It is MY fault Sawyer! I have to leave."

Sawyer tried to stop her, but something came over Kate, that gave her some kind of power over him. She pushed past him and ran out the door. Sawyer started to follow her, but then decided that he should probably stay at home in case the kids woke up. He dialed Claire's number not knowing what else to do.

"Claire," he whispered when she picked up the phone.

"Sawyer," she gasped. "I am so sorry to hear about Samm-"

"Please don't," he stopped her. "I was just calling you because I didn't know who else to call. Jack would have a complete nervous breakdown, and there's no one else."

"What happened?" she asked.

"Kate," he sighed. "She ran out of the house talking about how she needs a drink. Can you just call me if you hear from her? Please?"

"Of course I will," she answered. "I'm sorry Sawyer...do you need me to come over...I can have Charlie wait for the call."

"No," he replied. "And no one can know ok? Not even Jack...or Charlie for that matter...Please Claire."

"Alright," she whispered. "I swear, I'll keep it quiet."

Sawyer paced around the house till almost 2:00 in the morning. The phone rang and he jumped on it before it woke up the girls.

"Kate?" he asked, mainly hopeful, but knowing it probably wasn't her.

"Sawyer, it's Margot," she said. "Kate's A.A. sponsor?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I remember. Is she ok?"

"She came here," Margot replied. "She was afraid to come home."

"Is she-" he began. "Is she ok?"

"No," she answered. "I mean...in so many words she is, but she's so drunk that she can barely stand."

He swore quietly to himself, but he knew that Margot had heard him.

"She needs to see you," Margot continued. "Would it be ok if I brought her home?"

"Please," he responded. "Bring her home. Tell her it's ok. Tell her I'm not mad."

"He's not mad Kate," Margot said quickly, assuring Kate. "We'll be over in like 15 minutes."

"Ok," Sawyer mumbled. Sawyer waited the 15 minutes, and heard the car in the driveway and saw the headlights. He stood up and went to the door. When he opened it he saw his very drunk wife.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Come on," he sighed taking her by the arm and leading her into the house.

"You're so beautiful," she said quietly. Sawyer could hardly understand her. He closed his eyes and prayed that it was just a nightmare. He would wake up and Kate would be laying next to him. On the complete opposite side of the bed, but still next to him. He lead them over to the couch and sat her down.

"Do you hate me?" he asked her. "Do you want me to leave you and take the kids away from you?"

"No," she answered softly.

"What?" he asked. "I didn't hear you Kate."

"No!" she exclaimed.

"I thought you wanted another kid," he reminded her.

"I do," she whispered. "I do."

She started kissing him, and was totally missing his mouth. He stood up and looked down at her.

"Stand up," he demanded.

"What?" she asked.

"Stand up!" he yelled. She looked at him like he had just smacked her in the face. She quickly stood up and stumbled toward their room. Sawyer stopped her and grabbed her by the arm. He shoved her against the wall and held her there.

"You're scaring me," she wimpered.

"Good," he sighed. "Because you're scaring me Freckles."

He wrapped his arms around her and she disolved into tears in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. Please. Sawyer, tell me I haven't lost you."

"Kate," he whispered. "If you take so much as one more sip...you're going back to rehab, and the only way you'll see our kids is through supervised visitation."

"Ok," she nodded. "I hear you. I'm sorry."

After that Kate vowed that she would never take another sip as long as she lived...and she didn't.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack asked.

"We didn't really find it to be necessary," Sawyer mumbled. "I mean Kate was embarrassed and she didn't want you to be disappointed in her. I was disappointed enough for the both of us...but she hasn't had a drink since then. And I haven't let it in the house...so. She's ok now."

"I can't believe that Claire didn't tell me," he practically scoffed. "She's my sister."

"I'm sorry," Kate sniffled. "I just wanted to end it all. I would have killed myself...if Sawyer hadn't-I wouldn't be here. Matty wouldn't be here. Sawyer saved me...again."

"I love you," he told her, looking at her. "I wasn't going to let you kill yourself. I don't ever want to see you in that much pain."

"Well, tomorrow we can go get Matt. Everything will be ok," Kate said. "Sammy will live on in Matthew."

That night Kate was laying with her back against Sawyer's front. He had his arm around her and was holding her hand. Kate could hear Sawyer's soft snoring in her ear. She was thankful that he was never a loud snorer...his snores were almost soothing and usually put her to sleep. Kate was crying. The tears were slipping down her cheeks silently. She was trying really hard not to sob because she knew that it would wake him up.

"Sammy," she whispered. "I won't forget about you ever. Matthew isn't replacing you. I promise."

"Freckles," Sawyer said into her ear. "Sammy knows."

"No," she answered. "I'm saying this for myself Sawyer. I know that we keep saying that the new baby wasn't to replace Sammy...but I keep thinking-maybe I was trying to replace him."

"Kate, I know that's not true," he responded. "Matt is our new baby, but he's not Sammy..."

"Ok," she sighed. "You're right...I just need to stop thinking about him. I have to concentrate on the kids that are left."

**A/N: Please please review!!!**


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

Kate came into the house holding Matt. Sawyer walked with them both upstairs to show Kate the baby's room. He opened the door and Kate looked back at Sawyer.

"What the hell is this?" she asked.

"Kate," he began.

"Why did you have to make it look exactly the same?" she questioned.

"I didn't really have a choice Freckles," he told her. "Look, I know that you're upset, but it's not like we have the money to buy new furniture and get everything new. But Kate it's just a room."

"Yeah," she breathed. "You're right. You're right."

Kate lifted Matt into the crib and they both looked down at the baby.

"He's so beautiful," she whispered.

"Hmm," Sawyer nodded. "Just like his momma."

**1 Month Later**

Sawyer came home from grocery shopping for Kate. He had taken both the kids with him and sighed deeply.

"Those kids," he said with his teeth clenched together. "What the hell is wrong with those kids? Everything we passed, it was I want that, and I need that, and gimme one of those, and get me this, how the hell do you do it?"

"I'm a saint," she answered.

"That must be it," he stated putting his arm around her. "Now...guess who I ran into at the store?"

"I have no clue," she responded.

"Our good friend," he began. "The one that you said 6 months ago that we'd all get together for dinner sometime."

"Ana?" she asked.

"Yup," he nodded. "Look. Here's the deal...Ana had a boyfriend up until last night...he dumped her last night because he fell in love with someone else. She was at the store getting junk food to make herself sick."

"She doesn't seem like the kind of girl that would stay in bed eating junk food when she's dumped," Kate chuckled. "I mean...it's not funny, but she seems like the kind of girl that would kick a guys ass."

"Yeah," he stated. "She always used to be. Anyway, she looked upset enough so I asked her to come to dinner tonight and she accepted. She's gonna be here in an hour."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "You just invited her without asking me if it was ok? Sawyer the house is a mess."

"We'll all help clean it up. In fact, girls how about for every toy you pick up I'll give you an M & M," he offered.

"Um," Clementine started. "Daddy...1 M & M, is dumb."

"How about you just pick up your toys or you don't get any desert," Kate said.

Clementine and Katie both stood up quickly and started cleaning up their toys. Kate started cleaning up too and when they heard the baby crying, Sawyer was the one who went upstairs. He picked up Matt and sat down in the rocking chair. Matt started to babble incesantly. Sawyer could have sworn that he said dada two or three times. He stood up and went downstairs.

"Kate!" Sawyer exclaimed. "He said dada. He said it."

"Sawyer, he's only a month old," she replied. "It was just babbling."

"No," he shook her head. "It was a definite dada. Say it again Matty."

Matt started to babble again. He wasn't saying anything distinctively, but Sawyer still thought that he was saying dada.

"Sawyer," Kate began with a smile. "I know that it's exciting and you think he's saying dada, but he's not. I mean I'm his mom, and I think it would be pretty awesome if he's was talking...but he isn't."

"Ok," he mumbled. "Maybe you're right."

"Now...can you please lift up your feet so I can clean the coffee table?" she asked.

"Kate, I don't get why you're so obsessive about this...it's Ana Lucia, she ain't gonna care," he chuckled.

"Maybe not, but I care," she answered.

"Alright," he sighed.

That night Jack and Juliet came for dinner too. Ana Lucia was eating in silence and letting everyone else do the talking. Sawyer could tell that she was somewhat uncomfortable so he tried to get her into the conversation.

"So...any other prospects for a boyfriend Ana?" he asked.

"Sawyer, I was dumped yesterday," she sighed. "This was a terrible idea."

She quickly got up and left the house. Sawyer followed her to her car and looked at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean-seeing me and Kate, and Jack and Juliet all happ-"

He was cut off by her falling into tears at his feet. He shrugged to himself and knelt down in front of her. He had, had enough crying women for a life time. He wasn't looking forward to the teenage years of Katie and Clementine. He was only 24 and he felt like he was 34.

"I'm sorry," he said again. She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed onto his shoulder.

"Jamie," she whispered. "I just-we were so close. You were my best friend. I just want to know if you felt the same. Was I yours?"

"Chica," he started.

"No," she shook her head. "I just want to know."

"Yes," he nodded. "Of course we were best friends. You kept me sane when my grandparents didn't. But people change. They grow up and they grow apart. I haven't seen you in over 5 years. My daughter is in kindergarten. And my other daughter is in 1st. I can't still be your best friend when we haven't even spoken in 5 or 6 years."

"Who's fault is that?" she asked. "You're the one who listened to that whore!"

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Kate is NOT a whore!"

Ana looked at him and quickly kissed him, before he could protest. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him harder. He tried to back away, but she wouldn't let go of his neck. He finally pushed her back hard enough and she fell back to the ground from the force he used. She quickly turned red and got into the car.

Sawyer told Kate what happened. He was a little scared of what her reaction would be. He didn't expect her to brush it off and shrug, but she did. Jack and Juliet seemed just as surprised.

That night Kate was laying next to Sawyer. She rolled on top of him and kissed him. She kissed him softly but passionately. He pushed her upward and looked at her somewhat surprised.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"Is that how she kissed you?" she whispered. "Ana?"

"No," he shook his head. "Not even close."

"Oh," she shrugged. "How about this?"

She kissed him again and ran her fingers across his chest. She rolled them over so he was on top.

"I don't know," he smirked. She lifted her own shirt up over her head and started kissing him even deeper. Kate started taking things to the next level and Sawyer stopped them.

"Kate," he started. "It hasn't been 6 weeks...it's only been 4."

"I don't really care," she shook her head. "Just kiss me."

"Sweetheart we should probably listen to the doctors," he said pushing her away again.

"But I don't want to wait," she smiled.

"I'll make you a deal," he said quietly. "If you wait 2 more weeks, we can spend the entire night together. Starting at whatever time you want."

"Ok," she smiled.

**2 Weeks Later**

Sawyer got home from work and all the lights in the house were out. The front room was lit with candles. Sawyer walked into the living room and Kate was sitting on the couch with a bowl of strawberries. She stood up and walked toward him.

"What is all this?" he asked.

"You remember our deal," she told him. "And you said I could start whenever I wanted. Jack took the kids for the night. We're gonna have from now until tomorrow morning to ourselves."

"I really like this idea," he chuckled. He stepped toward her and took the bowl of strawberries from her hand. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed her hard. She let out a laugh and raised herself up on her tip toes. They had only been kissing for a couple seconds when the phone rang. Kate and Sawyer both let out loud grumbles.

"Why didn't you unplug the phone?" he asked, as it continued to ring.

"Because what if it's an emergency?" she questioned. "Hello?"

Sawyer watched Kate as her eyes got wider.

"Stop this right now!" she yelled. "He's taken. You leave my husband alone!"

Kate slammed the phone down. Sawyer looked at her and shrugged.

"Ana?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "It was a telemarketer."

"That was funny Freckles," he said with a smile. She stepped toward him again and kissed him passionately. They made their way up the stairs and Sawyer looked at the floor. It was scattered with rose petals. Sawyer looked at her like she was crazy.

"What is all this?"

"Our romantic night," she answered. They walked into the bedroom and didn't wait another moment. The clothes came off quickly and they were loving each other. Kate was laying with her arms around Sawyer and her head resting on his chest. He had both of his arms wrapped arms her and they both fell asleep like that.

**A/N: Gah...this is so hard. Haha. I really really want to do 100 chapters, but I'm running out of ideas. I think in the next chapter Shannon will have to come back to mix things up. And Tom too. OK...so I hope you guys enjoyed my two chapters!**


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69**

Sawyer was playing with Kate's hand in his own. She brought it up to her mouth and started kissing it. It was around 3 in the morning. Kate closed her eyes and started to fall asleep. Sawyer tightened his grip on her and kissed her cheek. She heard the front door open and crying. She sat up and kept herself covered with the blankets. She jumped out of the bed and grabbed the robe that was hanging on the back of the door.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. "That's Katie."

She ran from the room. Sawyer stood up and began to follow her, but then stopped to get dress. Kate ran down the stairs and saw Katie coming up the stairs.

"Mommy!" she sobbed. Kate bent down and picked her up. Katie started crying harder and then saw Sawyer.

"Daddy!" Katie cried. She got out of Kate's arms and jumped up into Sawyer's. Kate looked back at Jack and they walked down the stairs the rest of the way.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"I am now," Katie responded.

"Jack?" Sawyer asked. "Is there a reason for you comin' to ruin our night?"

"She wanted her mommy and daddy," Jack shrugged. "I wish that I could tell you that there was something else, but she wouldn't stop crying...and then she started screaming. Juliet and I were just worried that she would wake up her brother and sister."

"Katie," Sawyer sighed.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Let me. Katie...now let me ask you something. Were Jack and Juliet nice to you? Did you have fun with them and your brother and sister?"

"Yeah," Katie nodded, with her finger up her nose.

"Please," Kate reached up and pulled Katie's arm down. "That's distracting, and it's gross...ok. So why did you need to come here at 3:00 in the morning when you should be sleeping."

"I wanted a hug," she answered.

"You couldn't get a hug from me tomorrow?" she asked.

"No mommy," she shook her head. "I missed you."

"Ok, well now that you've said goodnight and given hugs, why don't we go back to my house?" Jack asked.

"No!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yes baby," Kate said quietly. "I promise tomorrow you can come back home as soon as you wake up and you can come upstairs and jump on me and daddy to wake us up."

"OK!" she replied happily. Katie and Jack left the house and Kate looked at Sawyer who was standing wearing only his pants. Sawyer looked at Kate and rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for telling her she could wake us up at whatever time she wanted," he scoffed. They went back upstairs and spent the rest of the night together.

In the morning Kate woke up to Clementine and Katie's voices. They both crawled on to the bed and on to Kate and Sawyer. Sawyer mumbled and rolled over.

"Daddy! Wake up! There's a lady here!" Katie exclaimed. Sawyer sat up and looked down at Katie. Katie took Sawyer by the hand and dragged him down the stairs. When Sawyer got downstairs he saw Shannon standing in front of him.

"Hey," he whispered. "Shannon?"

"Hey," she smiled. Sawyer stepped off the last step and wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back and laughed.

"How-what-what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came back," she shrugged. "My stupid step-monster fired me...so I came back."

"It's good to see you," he smiled.

"It's good to see you too Sawyer," she laughed hugging him again.

"Daddy?" Clementine asked. "Will you make pancakes?"

"No waffles!" Katie exclaimed.

"No," Kate mumbled. "Coffee-Shannon!"

Kate hugged Shannon and laughed. "Hey Kate," she said. "This must be Katie."

"Nuh uh!" Clementine exclaimed. "I'm Clementine."

"So you're Clementine," Shannon responded. "Nice to meet you. I'm Shannon."

"Who?" Clementine asked.

"This is Shannon," Kate replied. "She was a very good friend of me and daddy's. Katie, come here...meet our friend."

"Hi Katie," Shannon said kneeling down. "Katie, I know you don't remember, but I used to babysit you all the time when you were a baby."

"I don't remember," Katie shook her head. "But wait...daddy...that picture. I have a picture of you and me."

Katie ran upstairs and came back with a picture of the two of them.

"I remember that," Shannon nodded and smiled.

During the day Sawyer kept noticing Shannon looking at him. He wanted to tell her to stop, but he never really got the chance to.

That night Sawyer went upstairs to say goodnight to the girls and then went right back down to talk to Shannon. Kate stayed upstairs to tuck them in and read to them. Sawyer sat down on the couch next to Shannon. She looked at him and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't be here."

"Shannon," he shook his head. "Yeah you should. I missed you."

"You did?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Of course. Shan...we-we were friends. We were good friends. Of course I missed you."

"I missed you too," she said. "I missed you so much."

She leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back and sighed. Kate came down the stairs and looked at them both.

"Hey," Kate stated. "Get your hands off my husband. I already had to deal with Ana like 2 days ago. I'm not ready for another one."

"I'm not-" Shannon started, backing away from Sawyer.

"Hey Shan," Kate smirked. "I'm kidding."

"Yeah," Shannon nodded. "Sorry. I actually should probably go."

"What do you mean?" Sawyer asked.

"I need to go," she responded. "I really-"

"Do you need a ride?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm ok. I'm just gonna walk. It's only 5 blocks."

"Shannon," Kate began. "You shouldn't go alone. Sawyer go with her."

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm gonna go with her."

"No," she responded. "I'm fine. Really."

"Shannon, it's fine," Sawyer argued. "Let's go."

Shannon stood up and so did Sawyer.

"I'll be right back," he told her.

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll be waiting."

Sawyer and Shannon walked almost in silence back to Shannon's house. When they got to her house Shannon looked at him and sighed.

"Thanks," she swallowed. He stepped toward her and kissed her softly.

"Goodnight," he said.

"What the hell," she scoffed. "What the hell is your problem? You can't just kiss me and expect me to just walk away. What is this. We haven't seen each other in over 5 years now...I want to know exactly what you feel."

"I love Kate," he answered quickly. "I love her. So I'm going to be with her forever. I just felt like I needed to kiss you."

"You can't freaking do that!" she exclaimed. "Don't you realize that I'm falling for you? That's one of the reasons why I came back."

"You aren't serious," he shook his head. "You're not-you can't be."

"I am," she answered. "I want to be with you. I wish that you could just leave Kate and never look back."

"Well you know damn well that I'm not gonna do that," he scoffed. "I can't do that. We have 3 kids together. 3."

"Who the hell is Clementine by the way?" she asked.

"My daughter from-" he began. "She's not Kate's, but Kate has been her mom for 4 years. We had a baby who died, and a couple months ago we had another one."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "That's awful."

"Yeah, well...crap happens I guess," he shrugged. "Goodnight Shan."

"Will I see you again?" she asked.

"I want to stay friends Shannon, so I hope so," he replied. He left the house and practically ran back to his own house.

**A/N: OK...so the Sawyer/Shannon flirty stuff still isn't over. Haha. And I think people are still skipping chapters. That's just according to my own stats, so you might want to go back and read some of those...review too haha ;). I also only have enough time to do one update right now, but I'll try to do 2 or even 3 tomorrow. I'm also sorry that this is a little short. I watched the episode "I Do" twice today lol...once without the commentary and once with it, so I got lots of Skateyness and it made me really happy. Ok. See ya'll later. Please review!**


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70**

Kate walked down the aisle in the grocery store. Katie and Clementine were both sitting in the cart and both whining and annoying the hell out of Kate. Matty was in the baby seat on the cart too. Kate barely had room for the groceries, but she seemed to manage. As she passed a group of women she could hear them whispering.

"She looks like she's about 20," one whispered.

"She's got 3 kids already, what kind of parents does she have?" the second one asked. Kate kept walking, but she could feel the anger building up in her. A few minutes later she passed them again.

"How old are they?" one of the women asked Kate.

"6, 5, and 3 and a half months," Kate sighed. "And I had another one too, but he died, he would be about 1 year and 2 months old. Do you want to talk about that?"

"Your two girls are only a year apart?" the second woman asked.

"Actually about 10 months," Kate answered with a smile. The woman then noticed the ring on Kate's finger, telling her that she was at least married.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Not that it's any of your business," Kate scoffed. "But I'm 24."

"So you had the oldest one when you were only 18?" she asked.

"Actually 17, but who's really counting."

"But mommy," Clementine chimed in.

"Shh, Clem," Kate answered.

"Clem?" the third woman asked.

"As in Clementine," Kate replied. "Do you have a problem? I'm just going shopping with my kids...You should mind your own damn business!"

"Katie?" his voice sent chills down Kate's spine. Without even turning around Kate knew who it was. She turned around and looked at a man who she hadn't seen in over 7 years.

"Tom," she breathed. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed deeply.

"These ladies bothering you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm ok now."

Tom walked with Kate around the store the rest of the time she was there. When she was walking out to her car Tom followed her. She loaded the kids and the grocery bags into the car, and then turned back toward him.

"These aren't really all your kids," he said. "You're just babysitting right? You were just trying to get a rise out of those women?"

"No," she shook her head. "They're mine. OK...well Clementine isn't mine. But the other two."

"When did all this happen Katie?" he asked. "I've only been gone for 7 years and you have a 5 year old daughter?"

"I'm married too," she answered.

"Why didn't you invite me to the wedding?" he asked.

"Because we got married in his hospital room right before he went in for surgery. He nearly died," she said quietly.

"But he's ok now?" Tom asked. "No life threatening illnesses that are gonna leave you a widow?"

"Tom!" she exclaimed. "No. He's fine. He's wonderful. And he really loves me."

"That's great Katie," he nodded. "I'm married too. She's having a baby in a couple months...but it seems like since she's been pregnant she wants nothing to do with me."

"I had days like that," she chuckled. "Sawyer probably felt the same way. Where is she? Your wife?"

"In Boston," he answered. "I'm gonna go-"

"If the next words out of your mouth are a hotel or motel, or anything other than my house, you can forget it. Tom you're staying with us."

"I can't," he shook his head. "It wouldn't be fair...to your husband, or to my wife."

"What?" she asked. "You can't sleep at someone elses house. Come on...and it's not like my husband won't be there...he's coming home at like 4:30. And I refuse to take no for an answer."

"Ok," he whispered.

"Come on," she smiled. Tom got into the front seat of the car and they drove to her house. Tom looked around like he was confused.

"Isn't this Jack's house?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "We switched houses. Both of-Margo and Christian are both dead...Diane and Wayne are both dead...all we have is each other."

"Oh Katie," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" she asked. "I'm not. I mean Margo is the only one I really miss. I mean of course I cried when my mom died, but everything's going to be ok. Sawyer's been taking care of me...we've been taking care of each other."

It was 9:00 that night. All the kids were upstairs in bed. Sawyer wasn't home yet and Kate was beginning to panic. Just as she started picking up the phone to call him, it rang.

"Hello?" Kate asked.

"Hey Freckles," he sighed.

"Sawyer where are you?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I'm so sorry. I went to Shannon's...can you come get me?"

"Sawyer it's 5 blocks, what's wrong?"

**FLASHBACK-EARLIER THAT NIGHT**

are you doin'?" he asked.

"Looking at the stars," she smiled. "Come here. It's neat."

He laid down

Sawyer was late. He had to stay at work till 7:00. He didn't bother calling Kate, because he didn't want to start another fight.

On the way home from work Sawyer took the back way home so that he drove past Shannon's house. When he drove past it she was laying down in the middle of the yard. He stopped the car and walked over to her.

"What next to her and looked up at the sky. It was filled with thousands of stars. Sawyer hadn't taken the time to actually look at the stars in forever. Shannon looked over at him and moved closer to him. He nudged her slightly and then began to sit up.

"You wanna come in for a drink?" she asked.

"Sure," he nodded. He stood up and followed her into the house. Shannon sat down at the kitchen table and handed Sawyer a beer. He started drinking it and looking over at Shannon.

"So...how has the past 5 years treated you?" he asked.

"I'm ok," she replied.

"Any boyfriends?" he questioned.

"No," she chuckled.

"None?" he asked. "Why not?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"Aw come on...yes you do," he urged. "Why haven't you had a boyfriend. I know that no man is dumb enough to say no to you...so what's up?"

"It's dumb," she answered.

"Come on," he said again.

"I kept comparing them to you," she sighed. Sawyer stood up and walked toward her. She flinched slightly as he touched her lips with his.

"Sawyer we can't," she whispered. "You love Kate. You keep saying that, but how can you keep kissing me?"

"I don't know," he shook his head. He kissed her again and this time she stood up and kissed him back hard.

Sawyer drank a few more beers and continued to kiss Shannon. Finally he thought of Kate and thought about what this might do to her. He dialed home and was nearly crying before she answered the phone.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

Kate knocked on Shannon's door and Sawyer answered it. He fell into her arms in tears. She sighed and hugged him back.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "It's ok."

"No," he shook his head. "I can't-I keep kissing her."

"Do you like her?" Kate asked, slightly afraid of what the answer might be.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "All I know is that I'm in love with you Kate. I can't live without you. Please forgive me. Please Kate."

"Are you drunk?" she questioned, this time the tears were moving into her eyes.

"No," he shook his head. "I'm just a mess Kate. And I need you. I need you."

"Ok," she nodded. "Let's go then."

When they got home Sawyer refused to let go of Kate all night. She loved him, and she did want to forgive him, but she felt like he was smothering her. When he got up in the morning he carefully got out of bed without waking her up. Or so he thought. When Kate heard the front door shut she got out of the bed and walked to the guest room. The girls and Matty should stay asleep for at least another hour. She opened the door and let herself in. She saw Tom laying peacefully asleep. She got into the bed next to him, and he woke up when he felt the shift of the matress.

"Katie," he whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Tom," she sobbed. "He's gone. I killed him. And my mom's gone and I feel like I killed her. I just wish I could erase these stupid 8 years. I want to go back to when my life made sense. And it was just you, me, and Jack."

He wrapped his arms around her and let her sob on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and then backed off of her. She looked at him and kissed him slowly. He kissed her back and then got out of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She could hear Matty crying and got out of the bed to go take care of her son.

Shannon went to Sawyer's work just to talk about what had happened the night before, but when she got there Sawyer lead her into the back room. She looked at him in awe as he shut the door behind him and found something to block anyone from coming in.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "You cried last night...you were so upset about hurting Kate, and now you're gonna do it again?"

"She had sex with her childhood friend," he replied.

"What?" she asked.

"Kate," he mumbled. "I came back in the house today because I forgot my damn name tag...anyway she wasn't in my room and I could hear her kissing Tom."

"Tom's back?" Shannon asked. "He was pretty much the only reason why Kate and I became friends in the first place. She was so devestated when he-nevermind."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Thanks. And anyway...if she can cheat, than so can I."

"Maybe she only kissed him to be friendly, and maybe she was kissing him to get back at us. Maybe they won't have sex."

"I'm the only guy she's ever been with," he murmured. "She's probably just bored. Now-"

He stepped toward her again and started kissing her. She stepped backward into the wall behind her and quickly started taking his shirt off. He helped her and tossed it to the side. She smiled up at him and continued to kiss him.

"You're taller than she is," he whispered into her mouth. She smiled again and shook her head. She pushed herself up on to a stack of boxes, and started to take her own shirt off. There was a knock at the door.

"Sawyer," Kate's voice sounded. She sounded pretty upset. Sawyer stopped what he was doing and grabbed his shirt. He put his shirt over his head and snuck out of the room without opening the door too wide.

"Is she in there?" Kate sobbed.

"No," he shook his head. "There are boxes in the way."

"Don't lie to me," she shook her head. "Michael told me that you went in here with a tall blonde."

"Kate," he began.

"Just tell me!" she exclaimed.

**A/N: Ok. So please please review!**


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71-I updated earlier with Chapter 70, so make sure you've read it!**

Shannon heard Kate yelling at Sawyer. She felt horrible. She didn't want to hurt Kate and she didn't want Sawyer getting yelled at for something that wasn't really his fault to begin with. Shannon heard Kate yell "Just tell me!"

She stepped out of the storage room and looked at Kate. Kate looked at her feet and took a deep breath. She looked like she wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out. Kate opened her mouth 4 times and then looked at Shannon seriously and smacked her hard. Shannon put her hand to her face and pressed her lips together. She took a couple shallow breaths, trying not to cry. Kate's hand did hurt, but the look on both Kate and Sawyer's face was worse.

"Shannon, I need to talk to Kate," Sawyer whispered. That was all he had to say. Shannon walked back out to her car and waited until she was a block away before letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

Kate shook her head at Sawyer. She wasn't leaving, but Sawyer knew that she wasn't going to speak first.

"Kate-" he began.

"I didn't come here to accuse you at first," she sniffled. "I-this morning after you left I went to Tom's room. I kissed him. And I kissed him because I wanted to...it really didn't even have to do with revenge. I love you, but I can't live like this. We can't keep having stupid slip ups Sawyer. We have been together for 6 years...we're about to have our 6th wedding anniversary...and neither of us have ever had slip ups until now. Do you want Shannon? I don't care if you love her or if you like her or whatever...but do you want her?"

"I missed her," he started.

"That's not what I asked!" she yelled.

"Kate, please don't yell at me," he sighed. "I'm not yelling at you and I'm at work so keep your damn voice down. I cared about her Kate. She and I-for some weird reason we started to hang out and like each other...she likes me."

"Do you like her!" she screamed.

"You know what," he scoffed. "Screw this. If you want to go ahead and act like 5 year old Katie...maybe even younger, go ahead...but I'm going back to work. How about you go home to our kids."

"The kids are at school," she answered.

"Oh," he nodded. "So what grade is Matty in now? 11th?"

"Shut up," she shook her head. "I want to know what you were doing in the storage room with that slut!"

"She's not a slut Kate," he whispered. "She's in love with me."

"Oh," Kate chuckled. "That makes it better. What were you doing?"

"We were kissing," he told her. "Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna get back to work."

"Yeah," she responded grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back into the storage room. "I do mind. Why were you kissing her Sawyer?"

"Beacause," he shrugged. "Because she came here to see me and she-you know I really don't have an answer. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear, but I just don't know."

"Do you like her?" she asked calmly.

"No," he shook his head. "I love you. And I don't want to hurt you."

"Then why are you?" she asked. "You know today I had an opportunity to sleep with Tom...but I didn't."

**FLASHBACK**

Kate was in Matty's room holding him in her arms. She felt someone walk up behind her. She thought maybe it was Tom, but instead it was Clementine and Katie.

"Mommy that guy wanted to talk to you alone," Katie stated.

"Ok," Kate nodded.

"We can watch Matty for you!" Clementine exclaimed.

"Ok," Kate said again. "But you come get me if he starts crying or something ok?"

Clementine and Katie both nodded. Kate walked back to Tom's room. He was sitting on the bed with his head down in his hands. She looked at him and he walked toward her. He shut the door behind her and locked it.

"I miss you Katie," he whispered, pulling her into a kiss. They kissed, and Tom lead her over to the bed. Kate kissed him back and crawled on top of him on the bed. She quickly stopped and looked down at him.

"I have to go," she said. "I can't do this to him...and I have to take the kids to school."

"Do you need me to stay here with Matt?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'll just call Juliet."

"I'm serious," he said.

"I know," she nodded. "Tom I think you should go back to Boston...why did you even come here in the first place?"

"To see you," he answered. "To visit you and Jack. I missed you guys."

"Ok," she answered. "Then go to the hospital and visit Jack...but please, leave...you can't be here when I get back."

"Ok Katie," he nodded. "I'm sorry."

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"You love him?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Do you want him?" he asked.

"No," she sobbed. "I don't want him. I just want to get us back. The past 2 weeks you've managed to let 2 girls come between us."

"Hey," he said loudly. "Ana didn't have a chance to come between us. I never kissed her back."

"Ok, well what about Shannon?" Kate asked. "You haven't seen her in 5 years and you still have feelings for her. What does that say James?"

"But darlin'," he started so quietly that she could hardly hear him. "Just because I still care about her, it doesn't mean that I've been thinking about her for 5 years. I'm with you. I'm in love with you. And if you want me to never see her again I'll do that for you."

"You will?" Kate questioned, with new tears forming in her eyes.

"If that's what you want," he shrugged. "Freckles, the point is that I don't want you to get hurt in all this. You mean more to me than anyone else in the entire world."

Kate stood up on her toes and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and then rested his hands on her cheeks. She let out a soft chuckle and wiped her own cheeks off.

"I just want to go back to where things were," she told him. "I mean-2 nights ago we were in love and spending the night together and now we're fighting. I'm just so confused Sawyer."

"We're gonna be together forever Kate," he told her. "We're not going to let the Tom's and the Ana's and the Shannon's get in the way of that."

Kate went home feeling much better. She knew that she and Sawyer still needed to work on whatever they still had going on, but she knew that they were going to be ok. She got home and went inside. Juliet was sitting on the couch with J.C. and Matty. Kate smiled down at Matty and picked him up.

"Hey my baby," she whispered. She kissed Matty on the top of the head, and felt the tears coming into her eyes again.

"Kate," Juliet said standing up and walking toward her. "Are you ok? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yes. Everything is going to be ok. I just need to hold my baby."

Kate sat down on the couch and looked down at the little boy who had his father's eyes. She almost felt like Sawyer was looking back at her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Shannon," Kate shook her head. "Shannon was there. I almost feel like if I hadn't been there to stop it they would have-he would have cheated on me."

"I don't think that Sawyer is capable of that," Juliet assured her. "He loves you so much. He wouldn't do that."

"I don't know," she breathed. "I mean...he's the only guy I've ever been with...but he's been with a lot of girls...it's easier for him."

"Not when he loves you as much as I know he does."

On his way home from work, Sawyer decided that he would make sure that Shannon was ok. He knew that he should stay away from her especially since Kate wanted him to, but he wanted to at least tell her that he would be avoiding her. He walked up the steps at Shannon's and she walked out of the house.

"You have to go," she said quietly. "Kate would kill you if she found out you were here. And I don't need to give her another reason to hate me."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I actually came here to tell you that she wants me to stay away from you. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "I can't-we can't see each other any more. I have to go. I can't-"

"I know," he nodded. "I can't either. I have to get back to Kate. She's waiting for me. She and I need to get back what we had."

Sawyer walked back to his car and sped back home. When he walked through the door he heard Katie and Clementine both yelling at Kate. He didn't know what the fight was about, but he knew that it couldn't be good.

"You aren't my real mom anyway!" Clementine screamed. She ran past Sawyer and up the stairs. Sawyer could hear Kate crying softly. Sawyer walked into the kitchen and he could see Katie trying to comfort Kate.

"Katie how 'bout you go upstairs," Sawyer whispered. "I want to talk to mommy."

"Ok daddy," she said quietly. "Clementine's a bad girl."

"Ok," Sawyer sighed. "But just go upstairs to your own room, and if I hear you yelling at her I will be very upset."

Sawyer walked toward Kate who was leaning against the kitchen counter and trying to catch her breath. He pulled her into a hug and walked with her over to the couch. She sat down and started to chuckle.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Clementine," she started. "Her teacher wants to talk to us about her behavior. She punched a boy in her class because he was teasing her. So I just wanted to talk to Clem about it and she started screaming at me. When I tried calming her down she just kept yelling at me that I wasn't her real mom and I couldn't do anything to her."

"Ouch," Sawyer mumbled.

"Yeah," she whispered. "But whatever. She doesn't want me to be her mom...fine."

"Kate, I know you don't mean that," he sighed.

"No," she shook her head. "But she's still not going to talk to me if I go up there."

"Then we'll go together," he answered. He took Kate by the hand and they walked up the stairs. Kate looked at Sawyer and shook her head.

"She's right," Kate whispered. "I'm not her mom. I can't replace Cassidy."

"No," he looked at her seriously. "Darlin'...you have been Clem's mother for 4 years. She needs to realize that. She didn't even remember Cassidy so the fact that she's gonna pull the 'you ain't my mommy card' then she's got another thing coming."

Sawyer opened Clementine's door quickly and picked Clementine up who was sitting on the floor. He tossed her onto the bed a little bit rougher than he planned to.

"How do you like it?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, already crying.

"Did you hit a boy in your class for teasing you?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "He said his mommy said that Kate was a bad person."

"Why would he say that?" Sawyer sighed.

"Because mommy has had 4 kids and she's only 25."

"Why did you say that mommy isn't you real mommy?" Sawyer asked.

"Because then they wouldn't be mean anymore," Clementine answered. "If mommy wasn't my real mommy, then he wouldn't make fun of me."

"So why did you tell me that I wasn't your real mommy?" Kate finally asked.

"Cuz I was mad," she responded.

"Well you hurt my feelings," Kate told her.

"I'm sorry mommy," she said quietly.

"It's ok," Kate nodded. "Come here...gimme a hug."

Clementine hugged Kate. Sawyer hugged them both and then stood up.

"Ok Clem," he sighed. "Now that we're all friends again...you have to stay in your room. Even though you were only trying to protect mommy you shouldn't have hit someone in your class. We have to punish you."

"I don't care," she pouted. Kate and Sawyer left her room and Kate sighed.

"I can't wait till she's a teenager," Kate said softly.

**A/N: GAH...in re-watching the seasons of Lost I decided that I love Juliet! I didn't really like her that much before, but now I absolutely love her...she's my favorite other. And she and Jack are so damn cute. Ok sorry done with my rant. Pleaase review!**


	72. Chapter 72

**A/N: Ok, so I hope you all enjoy this, and I hope you all are reading all the chapters, otherwise you're probably somewhat confused.**

**Chapter 72**

Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed. Both of them knew that their relationship wasn't what it was 6 years ago. Even though they still loved each other...they knew that it wasn't the same and didn't know if it would be back to what it was.

"What happened to us Sawyer?" Kate asked quietly. "I mean-remember when we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Remember that night I got pregnant."

"What are you talkin' about Freckles?" he mumbled.

"That night," she sighed. "Before we were even married...and I got pregnant, but then I lost the baby because of my own damn stupidity."

"Well I don't know what night you're talking about," he told her.

"The night that we ran out of condoms," she whispered.

**FLASHBACK-6 years ago.**

Kate was laying in her own bed thinking about Sawyer. They had been sleeping together for about 3 months. She was completely in love with him and she wanted to go sleep next to him. Kate stood up and got out of the bed. She opened the door and looked up and down the hall. She could tell that the whole house was sleeping. Sawyer was probably sleeping too. She quickly went to his room and tried to open the door. The door was locked. She looked at the door trying to figure out why it would be locked.

"Sawyer," she whispered loudly and knocked on the door softly.

"Just a minute," he said. A couple minutes later Sawyer came to the door in his boxers and nothing else.

"What were you doing?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Nothing," he answered.

"No," she shook her head. "What's going on?"

"I wasn't doin' nothing Kate," he sighed.

"Was there another girl in here with you?" she asked.

"No," he argued. "Of course not."

"What is going on?" she asked, this time getting louder. Sawyer shut the door behind Kate and shhed her. He stepped toward her and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back and then pushed him toward the bed.

"No," she replied. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I promise Kate, there wasn't another girl in here," he said. "I promise. Please trust me."

"Ok," she nodded. "I trust you."

Kate laid down on top of him and they started to kiss again. Kate rolled them over so he was on top and she started taking her pants off.

"Wait," he said. "I don't-I'm out of condoms."

"I thought we had one left," she whispered.

"Well we don't," he answered.

"It's ok," she stated. "We can just kiss then. We can do other things."

"I like the way your mind works Freckles," he murmured into her mouth. As they kissed and touched each other neither of them could handle it.

"We can be careful," Kate said.

She was laying in his arms with their legs tangled together. Sawyer continued giving Kate soft kisses on the mouth. She smiled at him.

"What were you doing?" she asked. "When I knocked on the door earlier."

"I was-" he cleared his throat. "I don't know what force you have on me that makes me always tell the truth, but I was...using our last condom."

"What?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"I think you know," he answered. "Think about it Kate. The door was locked, and it took me...hmm how long to come to the door? Don't worry there was no one else in here."

"Sick!" she exclaimed but laughed loudly. "Well...I'm glad that I was able to help you out with your problem."

"Me too," he smiled.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Why are you bringin' that up?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "We were just so in love...and with everything that has happened...you would think that we would be closer than ever, but we're not."

"Look at us," he argued.. "We are closer than ever...we might have a couple problems here and there, but I'm more in love with you than I've ever been."

"I don't believe you," she shook her head. "If you were really in love with me...you wouldn't be itching to leave this bed right now."

"I'm not," he scoffed.

"Yes you are," she sighed. "You want to go and be with Shannon. Why don't you do both of us a favor and go?"

"I don't want to go," he replied. "I want to stay here with you."

"No," she sobbed. "You don't...you need to go and see what your feelings for Shannon really are ok? I'll be waiting for you right here, but just go. I love you James."

"I love you too," he answered. "And I don't want to lose you."

"I'll be here when you get back," she responded. "But go. Go see what your true feelings are, before it kills us both."

Sawyer hestitated before leaving the bed. Kate shoved him forcefully.

"Go," she sobbed.

"I'm not going to be gone the whole night," he told her. "I'll be back in like 20 minutes...and I promise that I'm not going to cheat on you."

"Just go," she whispered. "Before I change my mind."

Sawyer quickly kissed Kate on the cheek. He shut their bedroom door and left the house. Kate turned back over and began to sob. Kate heard the bedroom door open and whipped toward the door.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Mommy," Katie's voice said. "I had a bad dream...where's daddy?"

"He'll be back later darlin'," Kate said opening her arms. "Come here...mommy needs a hug."

Katie climbed onto the bed and hugged Kate. They cuddled until Katie fell asleep. Kate would have gotten up and taken Katie back to her room, but she decided to stay where they were.

Sawyer walked the 5 blocks to Shannons house. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door. He knocked until finally he heard movement and the front door opened.

"Sawyer," Shannon sighed. "What are you doing here? You can't be seriously standing in front of me."

"Kate wanted to me to see what my true feelings are," he mumbled. "So I came here to talk to you."

"Just talk?" she asked. "I mean come on Sawyer. You left Kate tonight to come here and talk to me? What did you think? That we would talk and make out and have sex and then you would know how you felt?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "That isn't what I was saying. In fact I'm not going to do anything with you tonight. I promised Kate that I wouldn't cheat on her...I can't cheat on her."

"So what are your feelings Sawyer?" she asked, with tears in her eyes.

"I like you," he replied. "I like kissing you. Part of me wishes that I didn't love Kate as much as I do because it would make this so much easier. I could kiss you all I wanted and not feel like the worlds worst person."

"Sawyer you're not a bad person," she told him. "You're a good person. That's why it's so easy for me to talk to you and be with you...I know you promised Kate-but do you think I could give you just one more kiss?"

He leaned toward her and kissed her gently. He backed away before it was more than just a short peck. She leaned in and put her hand on the back of his head. She kissed him and then got on top of his lap. He ran his hand through her hair and then stood up, bringing her with him. She pushed him back down and laid him down on the couch. Sawyer pushed her up and shook his head.

"I have to go Shannon," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Wait," she stated, kissing him one more time.

"No," he sighed. "Kate's waiting for me..."

"Just tell me what your feelings are," she stated.

"I already did," he replied. "I love Kate. Kate. I don't love you Shannon. And I can't hurt my Freckles."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll see you around Sawyer."

"No," he shook his head. "You probably won't. I can't hurt Kate anymore. I love her and I can't"

Sawyer left the house and ran the 5 blocks back to his and Kate's. He ran up the stairs and quickly opened the door. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Kate and Katie both sleeping soundly. He sighed and walked to the side of the bed where Katie was laying. He picked her up and carried her back to her room. When he laid her down in the bed and covered her up Katie stirred and looked up at Sawyer.

"Where were you daddy?" Katie asked.

"I was-I went to visit Shannon," he stated.

"Oh," she whispered.

"Goodnight darlin'," he said quietly.

He walked back to the bedroom and laid down. Kate didn't move when Sawyer moved toward her.

"Kate," he whispered.

"Sawyer, I'm tired," she sighed. "Can we just talk about it in the morning?"

"No," he shook his head. "I kissed her...but we're done. I'm never gonna see her again."

"You won't be able to stay away from her Sawyer," she stated.

"Yes I will," he argued. "I love you. You're my entire world, Freckles. I'm going to stay away from her."

"Ok," she whispered. She moved toward him and he wrapped his arms around her. "You know Sawyer...I'm really proud to say that you are the only guy I've ever been with...and I want to keep it that way forever."

"Well, even though you're not the only woman I've ever been with, you're the only one I've ever loved, and I know that it will stay that way."

**A/N: OK so I did the Flashback because of xKatie-Bearx, and then the Shawyer stuff was because of JateSkateFate815. But sorry to Jateskatefate because the Shawyer stuff is over now**.


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

**2 YEARS LATER**

Sawyer hadn't seen Shannon once in the two years. Tom moved back to Boston and hadn't spoken to Kate since. Kate regretted it because she and Tom used to be so close, but at the same time she knew it was for the best. Tom was married with a son, and she was married with 3 children.

Over the 2 years Kate and Sawyer started getting some things back, but they were still having some problems. Kate was distancing herself from him. She was still pissed off that he had kissed Shannon...more than once. Part of her wished that Tom had stayed and she could have made Sawyer feel just as bad as she felt. But the other part was happy that Sawyer was the one and only person that she'd ever been with.

Kate was waiting for Sawyer and Clementine to come home. Katie and Matt were supposed to be upstairs playing so that Kate could have some quiet time. She stood up and went into the kitchen. She started to pour herself a glass of water. Matt came running toward her.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed hiding behind her leg.

"What is it?" she asked with a smile.

"Katie chase me!" he yelled.

"Katie, stop chasing Matt," Kate replied.

"We were having fun," Katie laughed. "When is Clementine coming home with daddy?"

"I don't know," Kate shrugged.

"Where daddy and Clementine?" Matt asked.

"Daddy took Clementine to see her other mommy's-her other mommy."

"Mom," Katie began. "Clemetine's mom is-"

"Don't you dare," she interuppted pointing her finger. "I don't want you scaring your brother."

"Ok," she sighed. "I'm gonna go read."

"What did your dad give you this week?" Kate asked.

"Little Women," she smirked.

"Where did he get that from?" Kate questioned.

"I'm just kidding...well that is what I'm reading, but I didn't get it from dad," she responded. "I'm reading The Giver with dad."

"I love that book," she stated. "Ok. Go ahead and go read. I'll let you know when dad and Clem get home."

"Thanks."

"Mommy," Matty started. "Will you pick me up?"

"Sure," she laughed. She bent down and picked him up. He looked at her and sighed.

"When do I get a baby brother?" he asked.

"Where did that come from?" Kate said, somewhat surprised.

"Awan get's to be a big brother," he told her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Claire's having another baby. She's actually having 2 babies. She's gonna have twins."

"I know," he replied. "And J.C. get's to be a big brother too!"

"Yeah," she responded. "Juliet is pregnant too."

"So when will you be?" he asked.

"Mom!" Clementine's voice sounded. "Mom, we're home!"

Kate walked to the door and before she could hug Clementine, Katie ran down stairs and hugged her first.

"Come on!" Katie exclaimed. "I gotta show you something!"

Clementine and Katie disappeared upstairs. Kate looked toward Sawyer and gave him a hug.

"How was it?" she asked.

"She cried when she saw the grave," he mumbled. "I didn't know what to do."

"So what did you do?" Kate questioned.

"I just hugged her," he replied. "We were only there a couple minutes and she said that she wanted to come home to her real mom."

"Well that's nice to hear," she answered. "And while you were gone, your son...he wants to know when he gets to be a big brother."

"What did you tell him?" he asked.

"I didn't really get a chance to talk to him about it," she responded.

"Well what do you think about it?" he asked.

"I don't know," she chuckled.

"Daddy!" Katie exclaimed.

"Katie," he said. "What's up?"

She jumped into his arms and hugged him.

"I want to go see Claire!" she exclaimed. "Can we go see Claire?"

"What do you think Kate?" Sawyer asked. "Can they go see Claire?"

"We'll be home for dinner," Clementine stated.

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Go ahead...but be polite and ask Aaron to come to dinner."

"Me go!" Matt exclaimed.

"Not tonight Matty," Kate replied.

"Oh come on Freckles," Sawyer said putting an arm around her. He whispered the next part in her ear. "We can get started on that baby brother or sister."

Kate shoved him playfully and looked down at the pouting 2 year old.

"Please mommy," he asked.

"Ok," she sighed. "Girls look after your brother ok? And call me when you get there so I know you're ok."

"Mom, it's only a couple blocks," Clementine stated.

"I don't care," she responded. "You call me...in fact, I'm gonna call Claire right now and tell her to call me when you get there."

"Fine," Katie mumbled. "Let's go."

As the kids bounced out of the house, Sawyer looked at Kate. She shook her head and let out a chuckle.

"So what do you think?" he asked. "Are we ready for the 4th baby?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "What do you think?"

He stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She laughed at him and backed away.

"Sawyer," she said. "I don't know. I mean-can we really handle a baby right now? I mean Clem and Katie aren't old enough to babysit-"

"Why would we need the kids to babysit?" he asked. "We've got some pretty convenient neighbors that happen to be our best friends."

"Ok," she sighed. "Matty isn't even 2 years old."

"So?" he said. "Clem and Katie are only 10 months apart...and by the time the baby is born Matty will be 3."

"You're trying to talk me into this aren't you?" she asked. "You want another baby. Just tell me that you want this and that's why you're asking me."

"I don't know Freckles," he sighed. "You're the one who said that you wanted 4 kids. Don't you still want 4?"

"I don't-" she started. "Yes...I want another baby."

"So, why don't we get you pregnant?" he asked. "Then you and Juliet can be pregnant together...again."

"Juliet is gonna have the baby next month," she chuckled.

"Yeah, but you'll be pregnant together for a little bit," he stated. "And you and mamacita will be pregnant together for a little bit too."

"Ok," Kate answered. "Let's have another baby."

Sawyer smirked and stepped toward her again. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly.

"So do you think we have time before the kids get home?" he whispered. She smiled at him again and took him by the hand. They made their way up the stairs and Sawyer pushed her into the bedroom and on the bed.

"I want to lay here with you forever," he told her.

"Well thanks," she chuckled. "But eventually our kids are gonna come back, and they're going to be expecting some dinner."

They laid in bed together for close to two hours before the phone rang. Kate reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey Kate," Claire's voice said. "The girls wanted to spend the night tonight...is that ok?"

"Yeah I guess," Kate replied. "But tell them to walk Matty home."

"Kate," she chuckled. "Matty's gonna stay too."

"Claire, you're 6 months pregnant and Matty can be a handful sometimes."

"He's not that bad. He can't be worse that Aaron was at his age," she answered. "Plus it'll give me and Charlie a chance to get used to having a little kid again."

"A two year old is a lot different than a newborn," Kate stated.

"Kate, don't you think I already know that?" Claire asked. "Kate it's fine. Plus you and Sawyer need to mend your relationship."

"It's mended," Kate argued.

"Since all that Shannon stuff 2 years ago the two of you haven't been the same."

"I know," Kate nodded. "But we're gonna have a baby now."

"What?!" Claire exclaimed. "You're pregnant."

"Shh," Kate chuckled. "The kids are standing right there are they?"

"No," Claire answered. "But are you-are you pregnant?"

"No," Kate responded. "But we're gonna try for another baby. I've said from the beginning that I want 4 kids...we've got 3. So we're gonna try for another."

"Well I hope it happens for you," Claire replied. "So since you're trying for another baby then I really am going to keep the kids over night. We'll be back in the morning."

"Ok," Kate said. "Bye Claire."

Kate hung up the phone and then snuggled back into Sawyer's arms. Sawyer kissed her on the lips and looked at her.

"Is Missy Claire gonna keep the kids for tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Well then that means we can go make dinner without bothering getting changed," he smirked.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he answered.

"I miss Sammy," she said quietly.

"Me too," he replied.

"Let's go make dinner," she stated.

"Alright," he took her by the hand and they went downstairs without bothering to get fully dressed.

**A/N: I hope ya'll liked this. I will update soon, but please review review!!**


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74**

Kate was making dinner wearing Sawyer's shirt. Sawyer was standing behind Kate with his arms around her. She turned around and looked at him.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"What?" she chuckled.

"I mean do you want a boy or a girl?" he questioned.

"I don't care," she asnwered. "Either one would be completely fine by me. I just want a healthy baby. What about you?"

"I kinda want a boy," he shrugged. "You know..it would even things out."

"You are so adorable," she shook her head. She stepped toward him and re-wrapped her arms around him.

After they ate dinner they went back upstairs. Kate had her head resting on Sawyer's chest. He could hear her breathing weirdly and he heard her sniffle. He sat up half way, still keeping his arm around her, and looked down at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. He looked at her and noticed that she wasn't crying, yet at least, but that she probably would any moment. He smiled at her and sighed softly.

"Nothing," she whispered.

"Kate," he started. "You know damn well something is wrong...what happened?"

"I-I don't want to ruin this," she shook her head. "We just had one of the best nights in 2 years...I don't want it to end."

"Then it doesn't have to," he replied. "Darlin' just tell me what's going on. Why are you almost in tears?"

"Claire's right," she said, the tears formed in her eyes, but they didn't fall. "We haven't been the same in 2 years. We never fight, but that's because we never have the chance. We don't talk, we don't kiss...you're always at work. You're turning into Jack a little bit."

"We need the money Freckles," he told her. "I mean we have 3 kids, and if we have another one we're gonna need even more."

"Money doesn't matter," she shook her head. "Nothing matters if we don't have each other."

"We have each other," he replied. "I promise. You haven't lost me."

"Can you start coming home from work earlier?" she asked. "The kids all miss you. In fact the other day Matty asked Jack if he could be his daddy."

"What?" Sawyer asked. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?!"

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you," she answered. "I didn't want to upset you. I don't think he even understood what he was saying. I think he just feels like Jack is here more than you are...and sometimes I do too."

"Well then why don't you just go be with him!" he yelled.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "That isn't what I'm saying at all. I don't want to be with him in the least and besides that he's taken...I just want my husband back. I want you to stop working constantly."

"Well I'm sorry," he sighed. "I didn't mean to yell at you, but I can't stop working. We need as much money as we can get. If anything I'm gonna pick up more hours."

"Please," she began. "Sawyer I have to take care of 3 kids by myself...and then another baby when I get pregnant?"

"Sounds like you got Jack-o helping you," he responded. "Kate I don't mean to be mean to you. I don't mean to upset you. I just feel like I need to provide for my family. And just know that I love you more than anything."

"I love you too," she said quietly. She leaned against him and wrapped her arms around him.

Sawyer didn't start coming home earlier. In fact he started coming home later and leaving ealier in the morning. He would see the kids for 10 minutes in the morning before he left for work, and he didn't get to see them at all at night because by the time he got home they would be in bed. He hardly saw Kate either because she was always so exhausted by the time he got home, they were able to only spend 20-30 minutes together before she fell asleep. The weekends were the only time they ever got to see each other and even then Katie and Clementine would be spending most of that time with their friends.

Sawyer came home one night at around 10:00. Matty refused to stay in his bed so Kate let him stay up.

"Daddy!" Matty exclaimed.

"Matt, what are you still doing up?" Sawyer asked.

"Not tired," he shrugged,

"Well go on. Go to bed," Sawyer stated.

"Pick me up!" he said. Sawyer sighed and picked him up.

"Daddy I miss you," Matty said.

"Ok, go on, get outta here. Go to bed," Sawyer replied putting him down.

"Daddy take me for a ride!" Matty yelled clinging on to Sawyer's leg.

"Leave me alone!" Sawyer growled. Matty started crying and ran toward Kate. Kate sighed and picked him up.

"Come on sweetie," she said soothingly. "Let's go up and read a story ok?"

"I hate daddy," he sobbed.

"Ok," Kate whispered. "It's alright."

Sawyer sighed deeply and went over to the couch. He flopped down and turned the TV on. He was sitting there for about 20 minutes when Kate returned and stood in front of him with her arms crossed.

"What?" Sawyer asked. "I had a hard day...it would just be nice if when I got home the kids were all in bed so I could just relax."

"You had a hard day?" she scoffed. "I had to take all the kids to school-"

"Matty doesn't go to school," he interrupted.

"Ok, well I had to take Clem and Katie-"

"It was a beautiful day this morning...and I'm sure you had a nice walk, and then you probably spent some time at the park with Matty."

"Do you want to hear about my day or not?" she asked. "Or are you going to sit there and yell at me about what my day should have looked like...the morning was ok. But then I had to take Katie to a dentist appointment at 1:30, and she had a cavity and freaked out. Then after school I had to take Clem to gymnastics, Katie to piano class, and Matty wanted to go hang out at Claire's with Aaron and J.C. Then I had to pick up Katie at piano and she wanted to have hot dogs for dinner, but Clem wanted tacos, so I had to make that decision without pissing either of them off, then I had to go back and pick up Clem at 9:00. When I came home Katie and Matty were both sent to their rooms by Jack for fighting, and neither of them would tell me the truth about what happened. When I went to put Matty to bed he refused to stay there. He's been coming downstairs every five minutes until I let him stay up to wait for you. Now I know you had a hard day, but so did I!"

Kate ran up the stairs and Sawyer heard the door slam. Sawyer walked up the steps. He could hear Matty crying and went into Matty's room.

"Hey bud," he sighed.

"Go away daddy," Matty sobbed. "I hate you."

"No you don't," Sawyer replied walking over to the bed and laying down next to him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just had a bad day...that's all."

"It ok daddy," Matty stated rolling toward him and hugging him. "I don't hate you."

"I know," Sawyer smiled. "You ok?"

"You and mommy mad," he stated.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Me and mommy got into a fight, but I promise no more yelling tonight ok?"

"Ok," he said. Sawyer stood up and left the room. He bumped into Clementine.

"Is everything ok?" Clementine asked. "I heard you and mom yelling."

"Everything is ok," he responded. "I'm gonna go talk to mommy right now."

"She's-she probably doesn't want me to tell you this, but who knows if she's going to...she's not pregnant," Clementine said. "I heard her crying in the bathroom today and then I heard her talking on the phone to Juliet."

"Well," he mumbled. "It's only been a month."

"Dad do you want another baby?" Clementine asked.

"Yes," he said. "I-yeah."

"I know I'm just a kid, but maybe you should just talk to mom about it," she shrugged. "I mean-she's really sad. And she misses you...well we all do, but I think mom does most of all."

"You're a smart kid Clem," he stated. "Now go back to bed...I'm sorry if me and mom woke you up."

"It's ok," she nodded. "I actually had a weird question. There was this guy at gymnastics today. He kept watching me...it was kind of creepy."

"Did you go talk to him?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she shook her head. "By the time I got out he was gone."

"That is weird," Sawyer sighed. "Ok if you see him again tomorrow tell your coach ok?"

"Ok," she said. "Night dad."

He hugged and kissed her and then went into his own room. He hesitated slightly before opening the door. Kate wasn't in the bedroom area, but Sawyer figured she was in the bathroom. He knocked softly before letting himself inside. She was sitting on the toilet with the seat down, and her head in her hands. Sawyer walked over to her and knelt in front of her.

"What happened darlin'?" he asked. She handed him 3 different pregnancy tests. They were all negative.

"Freckles," he began. "It's only been a month."

"But we haven't even barely seen each other in a month," she reminded him. "I mean I know that you want to work or whatever, but what about having a baby?"

"Freckles it's going to happen," he told her. "I'm sorry that I got so mad tonight. I'm gonna make more time for you and the kids. Ok?"

"Ok," she nodded and sniffled. Sawyer held his hands out for her to take and they walked back into the bedroom. They laid down and Kate wrapped her arms around him.

"Do you wanna hear about my day?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "What happened?"

"I don't think we're gonna have to worry about me not spending enough time with the kids," he mumbled.

"Why?" she asked.

"I was fired," he replied.

"What?" she scoffed. "You've had that job for 5 years!"

"Tell that to Mike," he sighed. "He needed to cut someone...hours or somethin'...he wanted someone younger."

"Younger?" she asked. "You're 25."

"I know," he nodded. "He just hired 2, 18 year olds."

"Don't worry," she whispered. "You'll find something else. At least our house is paid for. I promise Sawyer...everything will be ok."

The next day Sawyer and Kate both stayed home trying to search for a job for him. She called Jack to come over and he and Juliet both came for dinner. Kate pulled Jack aside and walked into a more secluded area.

"What is it Kate?" Jack asked. "What's wrong?"

"Sawyer," she sighed. "He lost his job. I was wondering if there was anything at the hospital that he could do...like reception or something."

"Do you really think that Sawyer of all people would want that kind of job?" he asked.

"Probably not," she shrugged. "He'd probably want something that wasn't as much of a woman's job. I mean I think that as long as it's money it doesn't matter, but I'm willing to bet he won't feel the same."

"You could come work," Jack answered. "I mean we do have a secertary job open. It's kind of like a personal assistant type thing...do filing and answer the phones."

"Who would I be working for?" she asked.

"Me," he said with a smirk.

"I'll talk to Sawyer about it," she told him.

"Why do you need his permission?" he asked.

"I don't need his permission," she responded. "I just thought maybe I'd talk to my husband before taking a job. I mean we are trying to have another kid."

"Well from what you and Sawyer have been saying there hasn't been much trying lately," Jack stated.

"Well now that Sawyer isn't as busy and irritable, maybe we will start trying harder," Kate replied. "I just need to talk to him about it. He doesn't seem like the stay at home father type. I just don't want him to be unhappy."

"You're not exactly the stay at home mom type," Jack argued.

"No," she shook her head. "But I've been doing it for almost 8 years. Sawyer hasn't."

"Well let me know," he smiled. "Whenever you can start the job is yours."

That night Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed and Sawyer pulled Kate toward him.

"I think I found a job," he whispered.

"Really?" she asked. "I was about to say the same thing."

"Juliet needs a lab assistant," he replied. "I guess I'd be taking all the samples of whatever...down to the lab, and then bringing the results back to her."

"Jack needs a new assitant too," Kate smirked. "I told him I'd talk to you about it."

"Do you think the Shephard's are just doing this to get us a job and pay us...not because they actually need it?" he asked.

"Now that you say it, maybe," she smiled. "But it's nice of them to offer. For now I don't want us to both be working though. I don't want Matty to be raised by nannies or whatever."

"He won't be then," Sawyer answered. "Just one of us will take the job. Now should we try for that baby."

Kate rolled toward him and smiled widely.

"I can't believe you still want a baby after everything that has happened in the past couple days."

"Maybe a baby will bring us closer," he offered.

"Maybe," she smiled.

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate was waiting for Clementine to get out of gymnastics. She noticed that man that Clementine was talking about to Sawyer. The guy did look like he was looking right at Clem.

"Do you have a daughter here?" she asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Kind of. Only she doesn't know I exsist."

"Oh," Kate nodded. "Which one? I mean which girl is yours?"

"The pretty blonde in the green leotard," he said. Kate looked at Clementine and then back to the man.

"What's your name?" she asked with her eyebrows wrinkled.

"John," he answered. "Do you know her?"

"Mom!" Clementine exclaimed running toward her. She went to hug her and Kate stopped her.

"I'm not hugging you while you're all sweaty and covered in chalk," Kate chuckled. "Go get dressed and we'll go home."

"Mom," Clementine whispered. "That's him...he's been here the past 2 weeks."

"I know," Kate whispered back. "Shh."

"Cassidy?" the man asked. "You're not my Cass."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I'm Kate. Cassidy passed away about 7 years ago...but her daughter...Clementine. She's Sawyer's. My husband. She's Sawyer's daughter."

"No," he shook his head and smiled. "She was only saying that to con him. Since he took money from her...she wanted to take money from him."

"He didn't take money from her," Kate scoffed. "He was only a teenager when Clementine was born. It was only 9 years ago."

"Well Clementine is my daughter," he stated. "She's mine. And I'm going to do everything I can to get her back."

"Mom," Clementine started.

"And why does she keep calling you mom?" the man asked.

"Honey go get into the car," Kate said kissing Clem on the top of the head.

"What's he talking about?" Clem asked.

"Go," Kate motioned with her head.

"Can I have the keys and listen to the radio?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kate sighed, distractedly. She handed Clementine the keys and continued to look at the man.

"There is no way that Clementine is your daughter," she said quietly. "And even if you are where the hell have you been for the past 9 years. Clem is almost 10 years old. She's lived with us since she was just 2. And you can't take her away from us."

"Who would the rather have her with," he began. "A man with no previous violent behavior or a man and a woman, both who have killed someone."

"That was a long time ago," she whispered. "Clementine is my daughter. Even if you are her biological dad...which you're not-they won't take her from us."

"We'll see," the man sneered. "And this is a public building so they can't kick me out."

"Actually," Kate stated. "This is a private gym. I'm going to talk to the owner right now to make sure that if you come back you're kicked out."

Kate walked into the office area and found the owner. She talked to her about what happened and about the man who claimed to be Clementine's father. The owner promised Kate that she would do her best to keep the man out of the gym. Kate walked back out to the car and saw the man talking to Clementine through the window.

"Clementine Ford!" Kate yelled. "What are you doing!"

"I was just talking," she whispered.

"Get the hell out of here," Kate said to the man. He walked back to his car and Kate got into the car.

"We were just talking mom," Clementine said.

"You know better than to talk to strangers," Kate sighed. "Especially strangers that have been lurking around your gymnastics. He's creepy."

"Who is he?" she asked.

"I don't know," Kate shook her head. "But he's not going to bother you anymore. I promise you that."

"He told me that he was my dad," Clementine stated.

**A/N: Ok...so please review!**


	75. Chapter 75

**Chapter 75**

Kate looked at Clementine and sighed.

"Why did he say he was my dad?" Clementine asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "But it's ok...me and dad...we're your parents and we have been for almost 8 years...they won't take you from us."

"What if they do?" Clementine asked with tears in her eyes.

"Oh honey," Kate hugged her. "They won't. We're gonna fight for you. They won't take you from us."

"But what if they do?" Clementine repeated, this time choking on her tears. Kate drove home in silence. She didn't want to think about what would happen if this man ended up being Clementine's real father...or if they decided to give him full custody.

Kate walked into the house. It was around 9:00.

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed. "We have a problem!"

"Clem," he sighed. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," she sobbed running up the stairs. Sawyer looked down at his feet and then looked at Kate.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

"That man at Clementine's gymnastics practice," Kate sighed. "He's-he claims that he's her father. And he told me that he was going to fight for full custody."

"There's no way!" Sawyer yelled. "She is mine! She looks just like me!"

"I know," she whispered and nodded. "But he claims-"

"The time is even exact," he shook his head. "Why would Cass give her to us if I wasn't the father?"

"I don't know hon," she answered. "If it means anything I do think you are her father. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"Dammit!" Sawyer exclaimed. He slammed his hand against the table and made Kate jump, and Matty who was standing behind him started crying. Kate sighed and walked over to him.

"It's ok Matt," Kate said quietly.

"Daddy mad," he pointed out.

"He's more sad than mad," Kate whispered. "Let's give daddy some time alone ok? Where's Katie?"

"In her room reading."

"Ok," she said. "Let's go find her...maybe she would read to us."

Kate and Matty walked up the stairs. Kate stopped outside of Katie's room. She could hear Clementine talking through her tears.

"I don't want to leave here," Clementine sobbed. "Daddy is my daddy...and mom...I mean I know she's not my real mom, but she's the only mom I ever knew...so to me she's my real mom."

"They can't just take you can they?" Katie asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "Maybe they'll let me pick where I can live."

"Clem it's gonna be ok," Katie said. "Even if you're really that other guy's daughter...they have to let you stay here. We're your family. And when mommy has the new baby...she'll have the 4 kids she wants."

"Katie's right," Kate interrupted entering the room. "But you know what...even if they do take you Clem...you'll always be my daughter ok? You're my oldest daughter forever."

"You're my mom," she said through her tears. Kate hugged Clementine and looked at Katie sadly.

"Did daddy break something downstairs?" Katie asked.

"No," Kate chuckled. "He scared the pants off me and Matty though."

"Yeah!" Matty exclaimed.

"Why does he have to be so mean?" Clementine asked.

"Dad, or the new guy?" Kate asked.

"Dad," Clementine answered. "I mean I didn't do anything wrong...and it's not like I'm usually bad. Why did he get mad at me?"

"I don't know," Kate shrugged. "That's just what he's always been like. He jumps to conclusions. But he feels bad about yelling at you and he's scared to death to lose you."

"Are you?" Clementine asked.

"No way," Kate shook her head. "You look exactly like your dad...and I mean the dad downstairs, not the one who's claiming to be your dad. So don't you worry. James Ford is your father."

"Thanks mom," Clementine said.

"Can Matty hang out here with you for a little bit?" Kate asked. "I'm gonna go talk to daddy."

"Me come!" Matty exclaimed.

"No Matty it's gonna be boring," Clementine said. "They're just gonna talk about grown-up stuff. Stay here with me and Katie. Katie can read to us ok?"

"Ok," Matty said with a smile. Kate smiled at the two girls and went down stairs. She ran down the stairs and found Sawyer sitting on the couch. He looked at Kate and frowned.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Come here darlin'," she said walking toward him and hugging him. She hugged him in silence for what seemed like the longest time. She got up and sat down next to him.

"We'll fight this Sawyer," she whispered. "They can't take her away from us."

"Yes they can," he replied. "They can if they want to...they will. If that guy wants my Clem...he'll take her from me."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Babe, who knows if that guy even knows what the hell he's talking about. You might be her dad still. And personally you are her dad. The courts might side with us since she's been with us for a solid 8 years. I mean-"

"7 years, 9 months," he mumbled.

"Ok," she nodded. "But she's been here for most of her life. She's almost 10...and I really don't think that the courts like to rock the boat for kids."

"Well if the guy is her legal father though...I think he can do whatever the hell he wants to do."

2 Days Later

Sawyer was at work. Clementine and Katie were at school, and Kate was sitting on the floor playing with J.C. and Matty. Jack and Juliet were both at work...their normal babysitter had the flu so Kate offered to take care of J.C.

"Auntie Katie!" J.C. exclaimed. "There's someone at the door."

"Really?" Kate asked. "I didn't hear the doorbell."

The doorbell rang and Kate looked down at the little boy.

"How did-"

"I saw the car," he interrupted.

Kate smiled and walked to the door. She opened the door and Clementine fell into her arms. Kate rubbed the back of her head and took a deep breath.

"Clem," she whispered. "What happened?"

"They're making me go with him," she sobbed.

"What?" Kate asked. "You can't do that! You didn't even get a parental test yet!"

"That is where we're going ma'am," the man standing behind Clementine stated. "We're going to get a test right now."

"Well I have to call my husband," Kate responded. "We'll bring Clementine."

"We're going now," the man argued. "Your husband is meeting us there...we already called him at the hospital."

"Ok," Kate whispered. "What are you doing here then?"

"Clementine refused to come with us. She ran all the way here. We followed her."

"Clem," Kate began, changing her tone and taking her face in her hands. "Everything is going to be fine ok. They won't take you from us. Besides those tests usually take a few days don't they?"

"That's on talk shows miss," the man scoffed in a very condecending tone.

"That isn't what I meant," she scoffed back. "I thought you had to take the samples to the lab or whatever...I thought it took a couple days."

"Well it's only going to take a few hours. Whoever is proved to be the biological father, that is who will have custody until the hearing at least."

"Well what if James is the father?" Kate asked. "Is there still going to be a hearing?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "The man seems to be pretty attatched."

"Attatched?" Kate asked. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? He hasn't even spent one day with him. He's not Clementine's father...blood doesn't mean anything."

"Ma'am that's for the courts to decide. We have to go now Clementine."

Clementine hugged Kate once more and then left the house. Kate let out a breath and shut the door. She looked down and saw Matty looking up at her. She smiled at the little boy and picked him up.

"Hey Matt," she said quietly.

"Is Clemmy gone?" he asked.

"Just for a little while," she answered. "But she might even be back tonight. I don't know when exactly, but I promise we'll see her again."

When Katie came home from school she ran into Kate's arms too, and acted almost the same way as Clementine.

"Katie, what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"They took her," she sobbed. "In the middle of recess, in front of everyone."

"You have the same recess?" Kate asked.

"It was lunch time," Katie answered. "They just took her...me and Clem were sitting on the swings and the man came and told her that she had to come with him."

"She ran all the way here to tell me," Kate replied. "When daddy comes home we'll find out I guess."

"Is she coming too?" Katie asked.

"I don't know baby," Kate whispered. "If she's ours then yes...if she's that other man's then she has to stay with him until we can get the judge to give her back to us."

"Well I hope that guy dies on his way home from the hospital," Katie frowned.

"Katie," Kate sighed. "No you don't. It's not nice to wish someone dead...and if he gets into a car accident with Clementine she might get really hurt too."

"Well then Clementine can get away without a scratch on her."

"It's still not nice to say you wish someone would die," Kate replied. "What if he did die...wouldn't you feel bad?"

"No way!" Katie exclaimed. "He wants to take Clementine from our family. That's not nice either."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I guess you're right about that. But it's gonna be ok. Daddy is going to make sure that we keep Clementine ok."

"How?" Katie asked.

"By hiring a really good lawyer," Kate answered.

Kate and the kids waited until 5:30, and Juliet came to get J.C. She hadn't heard about the paternity test yet, but when she heard she decided to sit and wait too. Jack was supposed to come home a little while after Sawyer anyway and it would give a chance for J.C. to play with Matt.

Juliet was almost exactly 9 months pregnant. Kate was somewhat jealous since she wasn't pregnant at all yet, but she tried not to think about it. Claire had had the twins 3 weeks ago. She had identical girls and named them Molly and Carol. Carol was after her mom. She wanted to use Megan, but since Charlie's brother already used that name she decided not to.

"You feeling ok Jules?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Juliet nodded. "You know what it's like to not be able to sleep. I spend most nights on the couch because when I lay down it just doesn't work."

"Yeah, I remember nights like those," Kate chuckled. "But it wasn't every night usually."

"Oh, well I think this baby really hates me," Juliet chuckled.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Yeah," Juliet nodded. "We've known for like 2 and a half months...Jack didn't tell you?"

"No...I think he's worried about my reaction since I'm still waiting to get pregnant," Kate sighed.

"It's a boy," she answered. "And I actually wanted to ask you a favor...do you think we can use the name Samuel? I want to name him Alexander Samuel."

"You can't name him Alexander Samuel," Kate said with her eyebrows raised.

"I understand," Juliet nodded.

"Not because of Sammy," Kate chuckled. "If you named him Alexander Samuel Shephard his initials would be A.S.S."

"Kate, you're a savior," Juliet stated. "I never would have thought of that."

"You would have eventually when the name was written down on the birth certificate," she answered.

"Yeah when it was too late," Juliet laughed.

"Hmm do you want Alexander for the first name?" Kate asked.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Ok," Kate said contemplatively. "Alexander Charles?"

"Can't do that," she shook her head. "Aaron...Aaron is Aaron Charles."

"Oh I forgot about that," Kate shrugged.

"Well how about Alexader Christain, your two boys can have the same middle names."

"No," Juliet shook her head. "Jack already vitoed that idea."

"Ok," Kate said, somewhat annoyed. "Alexander no middle name."

"Yeah I was thinking about that," she nodded.

The front door opened and Kate sat up in her chair. Sawyer walked through the door-

**A/N: OK I had to do a cliffy. I know what I'm gonna do, but I'll take your ideas too, and I might change it. So anyway please review!**


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

Sawyer walked into the house. Kate stood up and walked toward him.

"So?" she asked. "What happened?"

"She's-" Sawyer mumbled with a frown.

"No," Kate shook her head.

"She's not-" he sighed. "The results were-she's not mine."

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around him. Juliet stood up and picked J.C. up.

"Sawyer I'm so sorry," Juliet said. She hugged Sawyer and stood there in silence in front of him. Jack walked in and stared at the family.

"Jack," Kate started.

"I'm sorry," he said. He hugged Kate first, and she let out a small sigh, and pushed him toward Sawyer. He hugged Sawyer awkwardly.

"How accurate are those tests?" Kate asked.

"They're accurate Kate," he mumbled.

"Why can't Clementine stay with us!" Kate exclaimed. "She's gotta be scared out of her mind."

The phone rang scaring all of them. Kate walked over and picked it up.

"Hello?" Kate asked.

"Mom," Clementine sobbed.

"Clem," she said. "Hey. Are you ok?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "I'm at this guy's house. He's not even my dad!"

"No," Kate answered. "Dad is your dad, remember that. Do you want to talk to him?"

"No," she replied. "I can't right now...but when I said that Will isn't my dad I meant it. He told me on the way here that he switched the tests."

"What?" Kate asked.

"He switched the tests mom!" she yelled. "He's not my dad! He lied because he wanted me! I don't get it! Why is he doing this?"

"I don't know," Kate whispered.

"Don't tell dad," Clementine said.

"What?" she questioned. "Of course I'm telling dad. You-"

"Mom please," she interrupted. "I can't-dad will just get more upset and pissed. I'm gonna come home tomorrow and then we can tell him."

"I'm telling him now," Kate responded. "I have to."

Kate hung up the phone and looked at Sawyer.

"She-she's yours," Kate whispered. "She said that guy told her that he switched the test. You are her dad."

"Then lets go get her!" he exclaimed.

"We can't," Kate shook her head. "Do you know what he will do? It won't work. Clementine is coming home tomorrow."

"No," he scoffed. "She's coming home right now."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "We can't. The test for now says that he's the father...he's never going to admit to the police that he switched the tests. I think he just wanted to confuse Clem."

"Someone like that shouldn't have custody of our daughter for even a second!" he yelled. He went up the stairs and slammed the door hard. Kate heard something fall and break...she was sure that it was the family picture that was on the dresser next to Kate and Sawyer's door. Kate sighed and went up the stairs.

"Kate!" Jack exclaimed. Kate turned back around and looked at Jack and Juliet.

"What?" Kate asked. "I have to go talk to my husband."

"I know," he nodded. "Can you watch J.C.?"

"Why?" she questioned.

"Juliet is going into labor," he answered. "I know this is like the worst timing ever, but can we leave him here."

Kate looked at Juliet. She was looking at her feet and breathing heavily. Kate shook her head and sighed. Then she looked back at Jack and nodded.

"Of course," she whispered. "Katie come on...let's go upstairs." Katie, Matty, and J.C. followed Kate up the stairs. Kate stopped at Katie's room and looked at her.

"Ok," Kate sighed. "I want you to stay here with Katie ok? I'll be right back."

"Where did mommy and daddy go?" J.C. asked with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh," Kate began. She squatted down in front of him. "Mommy and daddy went to go have the baby."

"I wanna go," he whined.

"I know you do," she nodded. "But for now it's just mommies and daddies...but tomorrow I promise I'll take you to see mommy and daddy and your baby brother."

"Ok," he said acting happier.

Kate left the room and shut the door behind her. She hesitated before going into her room. She opened the door and looked at Sawyer who was laying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Kate looked down and saw the shattered picture on the floor. She bent down and picked it up. She looked at it and put it back on the dresser. It was her, Sawyer, Clementine, Katie, and Matty. At that moment Kate realized that there wasn't a family picture anywhere in the house with Sammy in it. There were a couple pictures of Sammy, but none of all of them. Kate walked carefully toward the bed and laid down next to Sawyer. She rested her head on his chest and looked up at him with her eyes.

"She's mine," he whispered. "Why can't I go get her? It's perfectly legal."

"But the police don't know that," Kate replied. "I mean I can't believe how mature Clementine is being about this. She wants to come home so badly, but she's gonna stay there tonight."

"Was she crying?" he asked.

"What?"

"Was she crying Kate?" he asked again, this time shifting and looking at her.

"Yes," Kate nodded.

"I jus-That ass hole!" he screamed. He got up off the bed and walked toward the dresser. He looked at himself in the mirror above the dresser and scoffed. He started shaking the dresser and flipped it over before leaving the room. Kate ran after him. She heard Katie in her room.

"It's ok Matty," she said. "Daddy was probably just-well I have no idea, but it's ok. Oh please don't cry Jace."

Kate didn't know if she should follow Sawyer or comfort the kids. She decided to run after Sawyer just to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. She caught him by the arm before he got out the door.

"What are you doin'?" she asked.

"I need to go for a drive," he mumbled. "Clear my head."

"Don't do anything stupid like try to get her back," she pleaded.

"I don't even know where the hell he lives Kate," he shook his head. "I just can't sit in this damn house anymore right now."

"Ok," she whispered. "Just please come back tonight. I don't really feel like trying to explain to our 7 year old and our 2 and a half year old why their daddy isn't home."

"Tell them I just miss Clem and I'll be back later."

Kate went back up the stairs and knocked on Katie's door. Katie told her to come in. J.C. and Matty were crying. Kate closed her eyes and sat down.

"Come here," she whispered opening her arms wide. "All of you."

The three kids ran toward her and hugged her. Kate kissed Katie on the cheek and brushed her hand through her hair.

"You ok?" she asked. Katie nodded and frowned.

"What happened?" Katie asked.

"Daddy's just upset," Kate answered. "He went for a drive."

"Mommy didn't you say that you should never drive when you're upset?" Katie asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "But something that we all know about daddy is that you can't tell him what to do. Come on...let's read a story."

Kate put all three kids into the bed and began to read to them. They were all sleeping before Kate could finish the book. She got up and kissed all of them. She walked back to the bed room and saw the mess from the dresser. She used all her strenth and put the dresser upright again. Then she started re-folding the clothes and putting them back into the dresser. She didn't hear the door open, and when Katie put her hand on her shoulder she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Oh, Katie," she whispered.

"Mom," Katie said with a sniffle. "Are we gonna get Clem back?"

"Oh," Kate shook her head. "Yes baby. We'll get her back. I promise you."

"You always said that you shouldn't make promises you can't keep," Katie started.

"That's right," Kate nodded. "That's because I know I can keep this one. I promise you-Clementine will come back. In fact you're gonna see her tomorrow ok?"

"Well at school," Katie shrugged. Katie noticed the clothes strewn around Kate's feet. "What are you doing?"

"Daddy decided that he blames the dresser," Kate said, trying to give her a smile. It worked and Katie let out a chuckle.

"Do you want help cleaning up?" she asked.

"Nah, that's ok...this is theraputic," Kate shook her head. "Go back to bed sweetie."

"Goodnight mommy," Katie said hugging Kate.

Kate continued to clean up the mess. When she only had one drawer left she felt someone watching her. A hand touched her shoulder, but this time she was ready for it, and this time it was much larger, than Katie's small hand. Kate stood up and without saying anything pulled Sawyer into a hug.

"I'm sorry I left," he whispered. "And I'm sorry that I knocked the dresser over."

"Nothing broke," she said. "See? All fixed...we'll fix this too. And hey...you should be happy, Clementine is your daughter."

Sawyer lead Kate over to the bed and started kissing her. She pushed him back and let out a breath.

"Sawyer-" she shook her head and then paused. "Did you go see Shannon?"

**FLASHBACK-15 minutes ago**

Sawyer didn't get into the car, instead he ran to Shannon's house. He hadn't seen her even once in the 2 years, but he just wanted to see her just then. He ran up the steps to her house and started pounding on the door and ringing the doorbell until she opened the door.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

He stepped toward her and kissed her. She backed away quickly and pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Sawyer you can't be here. Please-"

"I know," he nodded. "I know I can't be here. My daughter...she's gone. _He _took her!"

"What?" she questioned. "What are you talking about Sawyer just slow down."

"They took my baby!" he screamed.

"What's going on Shan?" a voice from up the stairs said. "Who was at the door?"

A guy who Sawyer didn't recognize walked down the stairs and toward them.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I never should have come here."

"No Sawyer," Shannon shook her head. "You shouldn't have...but-wait-don't-"

It was too late Sawyer had ran out the door and was running back down the sidewalk.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

Sawyer pulled Kate back on top of him and kissed her again. Kate flipped over and stopped.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I'm loving you," he answered. "I'm giving you a baby."

"Sawyer," she choked. "Do you really think-"

"I don't think anything anymore Kate," he flipped back over so he was facing the wall. Kate moved toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"We _will_ get her back," Kate said.

The next day while Sawyer was at work, Kate was waiting for Katie to come home from school. She was going to be coming with Clementine. When they walked through the door Clementine jumped into Kate's arms excitedly.

"I'm back," she stated.

"Did you tell-did you tell Will that you were going to be here?" Kate asked.

"No," she scoffed. "There's no way that he ever would have let me come."

"He's going to make this very hard for us then," Kate shook her head. "I really don't think he's going to approve another blood test."

"I don't care!" Clementine exclaimed. "You're my family!"

"I know," Kate whispered. "Here...I'm gonna call him...don't worry I won't tell him that you're here, but I'm going to call him to beg him to let you stay here."

Kate dialed the number. She watched Katie and Clementine run up the stairs. They were best friends, which Kate thought was weird since sisters were supposed to fight, but she hated to break them up.

"Hello?" the man's voice, Will, said.

"Will?" Kate cleared her throat. "Is this Will?"

"Yes," he answered.

"This is Kate," Kate stated. "Clementine's mother."

"Cassidy is her mother!" he yelled at her. "And where is she anyway! Did she come there?"

"Please stop yelling at me," Kate whispered. "I know that Cassidy was her mom...Cassidy loved her. She loved her enough to give her to her real family. Her dad. Look I know you switched the tests. I don't understand why you would take a little girl from the only family that she can remember, but I think it sucks."

"I didn't switch the tests," he stated. "Is that what she told you? Because it's not true."

"I want another blood test," Kate said.

"No way," he shook his head. "I'm coming to get my daughter."

"No-" Kate began, but was cut off by him hanging up on her.

He came and was there within 20 minutes. Clementine clung on to Kate and refused to let go. Will finally got her away from Kate and took her back. Kate was in tears and Katie ran toward her and hugged her.

_**2 Weeks Later**_

They were all sitting in the court room. Kate's legs were shaking nervously. Sawyer was wringing his hands, and noticed Kate shaking. He took her hand in his and Kate stopped shaking so badly.

"I now call Clementine Ford to the stand," the judge said. Kate could barely hear him until he said that. She straightened out and watched Clementine walk to the stand.

"Please state your name for the court," the bailiff said.

"Clementine _Ford_," she said. She smiled at Kate and Sawyer and sat down.

"If you could live with any-"

"I object," the second lawyer said. "That question is irrelevant she's a minor."

"Of course it's relevant Mr. Hawkings...continue," the judge replied.

"If you could live with anyone who would you live with?" the attorney stated.

"Um, my parents," she scoffed.

"Objection!" the lawyer exclaimed.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford," Clementine responded before the judge could say anything else.

"Who is your dad?" the lawyer asked.

"James Ford," she replied. "In fact, Will told me 2 weeks ago, when he stole me from my parents that he switched the tests."

"Objection that is perposterous."

"I never said that!" Will exclaimed standing up.

Chaos began to break out in the court room. Kate watched everything in silence and waited for things to calm down. The rest of the hearing happened and it was concluded that Clementine was lying about the blood test. Custody was given to Will. But Sawyer and Kate were granted visitation rights. It pissed Sawyer off more than anything else. He left the court room without saying goodbye or hugging Clementine. She was sobbing when Kate walked toward her.

"He doesn't want to say goodbye," Clementine sobbed.

"I know," Kate whispered. She hugged her closely and sighed deeply. "He's just too upset to say goodbye. He doesn't want you to see him that way."

"Tell him I love him ok?" Clementine asked.

"Of course I will," Kate nodded.

Sawyer and Kate drove back home in silence. Sawyer was driving and he looked like he was going to rip the steering wheel off the dashboard. His knuckles were white from holding the steering weel so tight. When they got home Kate looked at him and sighed.

"We'll get her back," she whispered. "I mean at least we still have visitation. We can still-"

"Visitation?" he scoffed. "We get to visit my daughter...that's just great. I'm so excited...can you hear the excitement in my voice?"

"Sawyer-" she started.

"No!" he exclaimed. "You have _no _idea what I am going through! She's not your daughter!"

"Screw you," she sobbed. "She _is_ so my daughter Sawyer. I've known her for just as long as you, and I love her just as much as you do! Now I have to go break our other daughter's heart."

Kate got out of the car and walked up to the house. She walked into the house and was greeted by Matty grabbing on to her leg.

"Mommy's home K-K!" Matty exclaimed. Kate bent down and picked him up.

"Hello my darling," Kate said, kissing him on the forehead.

"My darling Clementine!" Matty yelled.

"No," she shook her head. "You are my darling Matty."

"Mom," Katie said timidly. "Mom, is she here?"

"No," Kate whispered.

"No!" Katie screamed. "No! You promised!"

Katie ran up the stairs and slammed her door. Sawyer came in behind them, hearing Katie's cries. Kate was still holding Matty who was whining, but not crying.

"Katie loud," he said.

"I know," she whispered. "I'm gonna go talk to her ok?"

"No," Sawyer said. "I will."

Kate nodded and walked with Matty back to the living room.

"Mommy I wanna go see J.C. and Alex!" he exclaimed.

"Not right now," she answered.

"Yes!" he said. "I want to!"

"Baby," she began. "I know you do. But Katie and daddy are really sad right now...and I am too. I think we should just stay here for tonight ok?"

"Fine," he whined. He wriggled out of Kate's arms and went up the stairs. Kate heard his door slam too. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let out a soft sob.

Sawyer carefully opened Katie's door.

"Go away," she mumbled.

"You sound just like your mama when you say that," he said with a partial chuckle.

"How can you joke right now?" Katie asked. "Clementine is gone!"

"I know," he scoffed. "Of course I-Katie...Clementine is my daughter...I'm really pissed off that they took her from me. I'm even more pissed since they didn't believe her-she told them that I was her dad and they refused to believe her, and that bastard that took her...he wouldn't get a new blood test."

"Do we still get to see her?" Katie asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "We get to see her every other weekend."

"Every _other_ weekend?!" she asked. "That isn't fair!"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know. I think it's pretty shitty."

"Swear jar dad," she half smiled.

"Here," he started. "Take a 10...that should cover me for tonight."

He reached in his pocket and handed her a 10 dollar bill. She looked at him and hugged him.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yes," she mumbled.

"Alright, well I think I heard another door slam so I'm gonna go see what happened."

Sawyer walked outside and he went to Matty's door. He could hear sobbing coming from downstairs. He opened Matty's door and saw him playing quietly with his trucks. He sighed and closed the door again. He walked down the stairs and Kate was laying on the couch with her hands to her face, and sobbing hard. Sawyer walked over to her and sat down on the couch where her feet were. He took her by the arm and pulled her over to him. She wrapped her arms around him and continued to sob. He raked his hand through her hair and sighed softly.

"It's going to be ok Freckles," he said quietly. "I'm sorry that I told you that you didn't understand what I was going through. Of course you do. Of course you love Clem."

"That's not the only reason why I'm crying," she sighed, and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Ok," he replied. "Then what? This family...I swear we should be put in the guiness book for having the most shit happen to a family."

"I'm pregnant," she chuckled, sobbed, smiled and sighed all at the same time.

**A/N: Ok...so of course the drama with Clementine isn't over. For those of you who might be wondering Clementine IS Sawyer's. The guy, Will, is just a jerk. Haha. OK so please review!**


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77**

Sawyer stared at Kate, not believing what she had just said. She still had tears in her eyes. He wiped her face off gently with his hand, and leaned toward her.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant," she repeated with another small sob. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek and then moved to her mouth.

"We're gonna get Clementine back," he said confidently. "And we're having a baby?"

"Yeah," she chuckled, and wiped the tears away again.

Over the next couple weeks Clementine continued to come back to Kate and Sawyer's house. Every afternoon when Kate would wait for Katie to come home with Clementine in tow. And every day Kate had to go through having Clementine pulled out of her arms. It had been 2 weeks. It was Sawyer and Kate's turn to have Clementine for the weekend.

Katie walked into the house alone, which surprised and angered Kate. Kate walked toward Katie and sighed deeply.

"What is going on?" Kate asked. "Where's Clementine?"

"Her dad came and took her home," Katie answered with a shrug. "He decided that since Clementine keeps coming to our house that he was going to start picking her up from school.

"It's our weekend!" Kate exclaimed. Kate picked up Matty and left the house with Katie following her, confused.

"Where are you going mom?" Katie asked.

"We're getting your sister back!" she yelled. She roughly put Matty in the car and got into the car herself. They drove to Will's house and when they pulled into the driveway Kate noticed that the house looked dead. She went up to the door leaving the two kids in the car. She knocked on the door and no one came. She continued to knock. It had been a few minutes and then a neighbor came out of the house.

"Are you looking for Will?" she asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Do you know where he could be?"

"Yeah," the woman answered, with an odd look on her face. "He went to France with his daughter."

"Well do you know when they'll be back?" she asked.

"Um, they moved there," she responded.

"What?!" Kate yelled. "Did you just say they moved there?"

"Yeah, Will got a job...he's a translator," she replied.

Kate sighed and went back to the car. She sped off in the direction of the hospital in silence. Matty and Katie were both asking her what was going on, but she refused to answer either of them.

"Mom, what the hell is going on?" Katie asked.

"Nothing, and you owe money to the swear jar," Kate said distractedly.

"Do you think I give a damn about the stupid swear jar?" she questioned, purposely swearing. "I care about Clementine. Where is she? Tell me what's going on?"

"Will, the man who has Clementine-"

"Yeah I know his name," Katie scoffed.

"Anyway...that woman said that they moved to France," she stated.

"He can't do that can he?" Katie asked. "He can't right mom."

"I don't know," Kate shook her head. "I don't think so...but if they're already gone, I don't know what we're supposed to do about it."

"Fly to France and get her back!" Katie exclaimed.

"Katie it's not that easy," Kate sighed. "First your dad and I need passports, and then we need money to fly there...we don't have that kind of money."

"Me and Katie were going to spend the weekend building a fort in the living room out of couch cushions and bed sheets. Daddy said he was going to help us and we could sleep in it and watch movies all night. I want my sister back."

"I know you do baby," Kate said softly. "I want her back too."

Matty had fallen asleep in the back seat. When Kate arrived at the hospital she picked up Matty, who stayed asleep and ran inside.

"Ma'am is everything alright," a doctor stopped her and asked.

"I'm fine," she mumbled. "I'm going to see my husband."

She held on to Matty with arm and held Katie's hand with the other. She started running.

"Mommy slow down!" Katie exclaimed. "You're going too fast."

"Hurry up then," Kate sighed continuing to run. She got to Juliet's office and Sawyer stood up.

"What are you doin' here Freckles?" he asked. "What's going on? Where the hell is Clementine?"

"He took her to France," Kate answered with a sob.

"That's it," he scoffed. "We're getting our daughter back."

"Sawyer what are you going to do?" Kate asked.

"I'm going to go to France," he answered.

"Sawyer, you can't just go to France," she sighed. "We don't have that kind of money. Plus how are you going to find her."

"France is a hell of a lot smaller than the United States and I found you," he stated.

"Hon-" she began.

"No!" he yelled. "I'm getting my daughter back and we're gonna be a big happy family."

He walked away from her, leaving her alone with the kids. She sighed deeply and set Matty down on the floor.

"Mom are you ok?" Katie asked.

"Not really," she replied.

When Kate got home Sawyer's car was there. She sighed in relief and got out of the car. She ran into the house, followed closely by Katie. She completely forgot about Matty being in the car. She went inside and saw Sawyer sitting at the table with a bottle of whiskey.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "I thought you said that, that crap isn't allowed in our house anymore."

"Well I made an exception," he growled and glared daggers at her. She sighed and walked over to him.

"Don't you think this is killing me too?" she asked. "I've got a daughter half way around the world, a daughter who has a broken heart, and I'm pregnant. I'm just as upset."

She took the bottle from him and poured it down the drain. She flopped down next to him and sighed.

"Sawyer you and I have to work together...don't you get that?" she asked. "We have to help each other through it. Or we're both going to be-I don't know Sawyer...we're both going to be crazy...and hey...tomorrow when Clem gets to France...maybe the jerk she's staying with will let her call us."

"I doubt it," he mumbled.

"Hey, Clementine is smart," she answered. "She'll figure out how to call us. She'll call us."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Maybe you're right."

"Mom?" Katie asked. "When's dinner?"

"Soon," Kate nodded. "I just have to order the pizza."

"Ok," she smiled.

Kate and Sawyer were sitting on the couch. Katie was upstairs reading, and Matty was still in the car. The doorbell rang and Kate got up to answer the door. She handed the pizza guy his money.

"Um ma'am," the pizza man began. "Do you have a son?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Cute little guy with brown hair and blue eyes?"

"Yes," she said, somewhat skeptical.

"He's in the backseat of your car cryin' his little eyes out."

"Matty!" Kate exclaimed. She ran toward the car and opened the door. She picked him up and rocked him gently.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh Matty. Are you ok?"

"Hate you!" he sobbed. He wriggled out of her arms and ran into the house. He jumped into Sawyer's arms and sobbed. Kate put her hands to her face and let out a sob as well. The pizza man walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry," he sighed. "He'll forgive you...I once left my 4 year old daughter in the car for 4 hours before I finally noticed she was gone...she was pretty upset with me, but that night she hugged me and told me that she loved me. He's a kid...he'll love you again by bedtime."

"Thanks," she smiled weakly.

She walked back into the house. She came up to Sawyer who was still holding the crying Matty. She hugged Matty from behind.

"Mommy is sorry darling," she whispered. "I'm so so sorry."

Matty whined loudly and whined louder when Kate touched the back of his head. He squirmed out of Sawyer's arms and ran up stairs. Kate closed her eyes and took a breath.

"God," she whispered. "He's-something could have happened to him. I mean what if I didn't put on the parking break and he had rolled into traffic. Or what if that pizza guy was a kidnapper and he could have taken him. I'm so stupid."

"Kate calm down," Sawyer said softly. "You're going to make yourself sick. Just shh-come here. Everything is ok. Matty is ok, and I promise he'll love you again in no time. It's ok. And you're right. Clementine will find a way to call us tomorrow."

The next day Kate was right. The phone rang and the caller ID said International Call. Kate picked up the phone quickly.

"Hello?" Kate asked.

"Mom?" Clementine said.

"Clem!" Kate exclaimed. "Katie, Sawyer, get your butts in here and talk to Clem."

Sawyer walked in the room and held his ear up to the phone with Kate.

"Hey," he said. "Are you ok?"

"No," Clementine answered honestly. "I want to come home. I don't want to live in stupid France."

"Would you want to live in stupid France if we came and lived there?" Sawyer asked.

"Sawyer!" Kate whispered.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed happily. "Are you guys coming!"

"As soon as we can baby," he answered. Kate folded her arms and scoffed again.

"I love you dad," Clementine said.

"I love you too Clem," he replied. "Talk to you soon."

"I'm gonna call you next week ok?" she asked. "Or will you be here by then?"

"Not that soon sweetie," he chuckled. "But soon."

Sawyer smiled and hung up the phone.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "You know that we're not going to be able to go to live in France."

"Yes we can," he responded. "I can make everything better. We can move to France."

"I'm not going to pull Katie out of her normal school and just take her to France because that's where Clementine is. Come on Sawyer. We can get another DNA test. I promise."

"How?" he asked.

"We can take a strand of her hair from her hair brush and match it to you," she answered. "Let's go. We can do it...and then we can get another trial. We can get our daughter back."

**2 Months Later**

Clementine had called Kate and Sawyer once every week. Kate and Sawyer had done the DNA test, and even taken it to the judge that tried their case, but he said that since the DNA test wasn't done by the courts there was nothing they could do. Clementine would have to stay with the man who claimed to be her father.

The good thing was that Clementine seemed to be doing ok in France. She was making friends and learning the language easily. She always seemed to be happy on the phone.

"Our daughter is happy without us Freckles," he mumbled. "Maybe we should just drop it."

"I know what you mean," she whispered. "But I don't know how we can just stop trying. I mean I know that you more than anyone wants her back.

"I do," he nodded. "But maybe it would be easier for everyone if we just stopped. She could be happy in France. I think when she talks to us on the phone she gets upset because she knows we're upset that she's not here."

"Maybe we could," Kate began with a sigh. "Maybe we could just concentrate on our family here...not that we'll ever stop thinking about and trying to get her back."

**8 Months Later**

Kate and Sawyer continued to talk to Clementine on the phone. Kate had twin girls, who they named Monica and Lucy. Matty and Katie helped Kate out around the house as much as they could. When Katie turned 8 they told her that they would take her to France to visit Clementine over the summer.

Kate was sitting on the couch holding Monica and watching Matty play with his toys. Katie was at school, but it was almost 3:30, which was time for her to come home.

"Mom!" Katie screamed. "Mom!"

Kate quickly set down Monica who had started crying, and ran toward the door.

"What?" Kate asked. "What's wrong?"

"Clementine!" she yelled. Sure enough Clementine walked through the door. In the almost 11 months that she was gone she had grown at least 6 inches and looked much older.

"Clem!" Kate breathed. She hugged her and looked at her in awe, almost as if she didn't believe that she was standing right in front of her. "What's-how?-where did you come from?"

"France," she shrugged. All of them had tears in their eyes. Matty came running into the room.

"Clementine!" he exclaimed.

"Matty!" Clementine chuckled. "Oh my god, you got so big. I don't even know if I can pick you up."

"Pick me up!" he exclaimed. Clementine let out another chuckle and attempted to pick him up. He had gotten taller and heavier, but she could still pick him up.

"Does dad know you're here?" Kate asked.

"Nope," she smiled.

"What is going on?" she asked. "Why are you here?"

"He," she began. "Will, let me go-he realized how much I needed you guys. I cried myself to sleep most nights. Whenever anyone would sing 'My Darlin' Clementine' to me I'd sob."

"They sing that song in France?" Kate asked.

"Duh," she answered.

"Well sorry," Kate said defensively. "Do you wanna come meet your baby sisters before I take you to your dad?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "But I don't want to go see dad."

"What?" Kate asked.

"I want to surprise him here."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Now tell me all about giving birth to the twins," Clementine stated walking over to the two babies. She picked up Lucy and smiled. "She's so adorable."

"Monica is cuter," she chuckled. "But only because she's my cuddler. Lucy would rather sit in the baby swing."

"Well I think she likes me holding her," Clementine said as the baby cooed up at her. "Now tell me what happened. From the beginning...well not the very beginning...just when you found out you were having twins...because I didn't know you had twins till a week ago when you were talking about Monica and Lucy and I was confused as to why you didn't tell me-"

"I'm sorry alright?" she asked. "I've been a little pre-occupied. But I'll tell you now ok?"

**FLASHBACK-4 Months Ago**

Kate and Sawyer were at the doctor's office. In Juliet's office to be exact. She hadn't gone back to work yet, but she made an exception once a month to do Kate's ultasound.

Juliet was making some noises that weren't necessarily bad noises, but they were making Kate very nervous. Sawyer held on to Kate's hand and tried to decipher the ultrasound, but had no luck whatsoever.

"Hey Juliet you mind tellin' us what the hell is goin' on?" he asked.

"Do you see that?" Juliet asked, pointing at the screen.

"Yeah," Kate nodded, looking at what looked like something round so Kate could only guess was a head.

"And do you see this?" she asked, pointing at another round looking thing.

"Yes," Kate and Sawyer both said.

"You're having twins," she told them.

"What?" they both asked.

"Twins?" Kate asked. "As in two."

"That's usually what twins means Freckles," Sawyer chuckled. "We're having twins?"

"Yeah," Juliet chuckled. "Just like Claire."

Kate and Sawyer smiled at each other. Sawyer kissed Kate on the lips and looked at her.  
------  
**3 Months Later-the birth**

Kate was at the hospital. Sawyer was at work so Juliet had driven her to the hospital. When they got there Juliet went to get Sawyer from her office. What was taking them so long? Sawyer was going to miss it. She was in the delivery room. Jack was there holding her hand.

"Where the hell is he?" she said. "Juliet went to get him 40 minutes ago...and this...me giving birth is supposed to take hours, not a few minutes."

"Kate, it's gonna be ok," Jack stated. "He'll get here...I promise."

"Kate I need you to push ok?" the doctor said.

"No," Kate shook her head. "I can't-"

"Don't let her give you that crap that it hurts too much," Sawyer said as he came into the room. "She says that every time."

"Sawyer!" she breathed. "I was waiting for you. I didn't want you to miss anything."

"Well I didn't," he said kissing her on the forehead.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Thanks for the details," Clementine chuckled. "But um...can you not talk about all the mushy stuff?"

"What?" she asked. "He gave me a kiss on the forehead."

"Yeah and when you found out it was twins he kissed you on the lips," Clementine argued. "At least it wasn't one of those gross kisses."

"How do you know?" she asked. "It might have lasted hours."

"Gross!" Clementine exclaimed.

That night Clementine went and hid upstairs, with Katie and Matty. At first Matty was downstairs, but everyone was afraid that he might ruin the surprise.

Kate was sitting on the couch with the babies as she usually did. She was holding Lucy this time which was unusual, but Lucy was quiet and sleeping contentedly in Kate's arms. Monica was in the baby seat on the floor, and Kate was rocking it with her foot.

"Daddy's home!" Sawyer said excitedly. Kate let out a giggle, but didn't bother getting up.

"Where are the kids?" he asked.

"Upstairs," she answered.

"Oh," he said almost seductively. He took Lucy from Kate's arms carefully, and without waking her up. He bent over Kate's face and kissed her gently.

"The kids are upstairs," she whispered.

"Exactly," he whispered back. "They're upstairs. They won't bother us."

"Any second one of them is going to come running down here," she replied. He kissed her once more and sat down on the couch.

"Alright, you're right," he scoffed. "But tonight-is a different story."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "You have no idea."

"What?" he asked.

Sawyer and Kate were only sitting for a few minutes when Katie came running down the stairs. She jumped onto Sawyer's lap and hugged him.

"Hi daddy," she said.

"Hey baby," he chuckled. "What's up?"

"I want to read tonight," she replied. "Clementine's reading Watership Down...can we read it?"

"Sure," he nodded. "Did you guys talk to Clem today?"

"No," Katie shrugged. "She told me yesterday on the phone."

"She didn't call yesterday," he raised his eyebrows.

"I mean Monday," Katie interjected. Sawyer still looked somewhat suspisious.

"Katie is it time yet?" Matty asked loudly from the stairs. Kate and Katie both let out chuckles.

"Yes Matty," Kate said.

"No it's not," Katie replied.

"Well it would be cruel to wait now," Kate stated. "Come on."

"Ok," Katie sighed. "I guess. Ok Matty now!"

Matty came running toward Kate and Sawyer. He jumped onto Kate's lap.

"Mommy," he started. "I forgot what to say-"

Kate chuckled and whispered into his ear.

"Oh yeah," he replied. "Mommy, when do we get to see Clementine?"

"This summer," she stated hugging her arms around him and kissing his temple.

"Nuh uh mommy," he shook his head. "You're lying."

"Really?" she asked. "Why's that?"

"Clementine's here!" he exclaimed.

"Clem!" Katie exclaimed. "Daddy's home!"

Clementine ran down the stairs, already crying and jumped into Sawyer's arms. Sawyer could hardly believe that any of it was real. He looked at her and took a deep breath. He hugged her and swallowed hard, trying hard not to cry.

That night the whole family including the babies slept in the living room. Sawyer slept next to Clementine with his arm loosely around her. Matty was curled up between Kate and Sawyer, and Katie was facing Clementine...they fell asleep talking to each other.

In the morning Kate woke up to Matty patting her on the arm. She was in her bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the 3 year old.

"Hey," she grumbled.

"Daddy told me to tell you that the babies need to be fed," he said. Kate felt like everything that had happened the past 12 hours was a dream. She got out of bed and started running toward the stairs, until she heard voices. She stopped at Clementine's room and saw Clem and Katie sitting on Clem's bed talking and laughing. Clementine was showing Katie a picture of her at the Eifel Tower with a boy that Katie was calling Clementine's boyfriend, but who Clementine claimed was just a friend. Kate walked down the stairs and looked at Sawyer with a smile.

"I know," he whispered. "I almost thought that it was a dream too."

"Well especially when I woke up in the bed."

"When I woke up this morning Matty's feet were in your face, your neck was all contorted...you looked so uncomfortable. I had to bring you up to bed."

"Thanks," she smiled. "We have our family back."

"Yep," he chuckled stepping toward her and kissing her. "So you wanted 4 kids, and we got 5."

"Well if the girls hadn't been twins and if we hadn't gotten Clementine back, we might have had to try for another."

"We still can," he stated pulling her toward him. She giggled softly and kissed his neck.

"Oh God," Clementine practically gagged. "Were they like this the entire time I was gone?"

"No," Katie said. "They're only this bad after they have a baby...you remember that."

"Yeah yeah," she mumbled. "Ya mind cuttin' that out for now?"

"Sure," Kate smiled.

"Never," Sawyer said at the same time. He kissed Kate once more and sat down at the table, pulling Kate onto his lap.

**A/N: Yay the family is back together. Please review! And make sure that you've read the other chapters! I know I say that like every time, I just want to make sure you're not missing anything**.


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 78**

Kate stood up off of Sawyer's lap and smiled at the girls. Clementine and Katie were already talking and not paying attention. Kate walked over to where the twins were laying in their baby seats. She picked up Lucy and looked at her.

"Hey," she whispered. "Hi."

Sawyer stood up too and walked over to Kate. He picked up Monica and looked at Kate.

"Mommy hold me next!" Matty exclaimed. Kate chuckled. She handed the baby to Clementine and picked up Matty. Lucy started to cry and Clementine looked at Kate and sighed.

"Mom," she scoffed. "Why did you have to go and do that? Lucy was perfectly happy...and because Matty is a spoiled brat."

"Nuh uh!" Matty whined and burried his head in Kate's neck. Kate kissed him on the cheek and set him down.

"I'm just trying to spend time with all my kids. I don't want Matty to feel left out," Kate answered.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with leaving us out when Matty was born," Katie scoffed.

"Look, I'm sorry," Kate sighed. "But now it's going to get better. We have our whole family back and that's all I care about now."

Clementine handed Lucy back to Kate. Lucy stopped crying once she was in Kate's arms. Kate sat down at the table and Matty started whining.

"Shut up Matty," Katie scoffed.

"Mommy," Matty whined. "Katie said shut up."

"I know," Kate said. "I heard her. Katie apologize."

"But mom!" she exclaimed.

"Katie, please," Kate sighed. "Just-apologize...you're not in trouble other than that..just tell Matty you're sorry."

"Ok I'm sorry," she responded.

"Mom," Clementine started. "Can me and Katie go see Aaron?"

"Yeah," she replied.

"Me too!" Matty exclaimed.

"No!" Katie exclaimed. "Aaron doesn't even know that Clementine's back. We're going alone."

"Matty, you can stay here and play with me and daddy," Kate said. "And the babies."

"No," he said starting to cry. "I wanna see Aaron too!"

"Matty," Sawyer said quietly. "It's ok. We can hang out...who wants to hang out with a bunch of girls anyway."

"Mommy's a girl," he answered matter-of-factly. Kate smirked at Sawyer and raised her eyebrows.

"Well then me and you will go hang out...just the two of us. What do you want to do?"

"Park!" he exclaimed.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "Then let's go to the park. Go get your shoes and your coat...Will you be ok for a little while without us?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked. "I'll be fine. It'll give me some time alone with the babies...some peace and quiet."

Clementine and Katie had already left, neither of them bothered to say goodbye. Kate sat down on the couch and sighed deeply. She wanted things to go back to what they used to be, but it was only the day before when they had gotten the whole family back together.

Sawyer came down the stairs carrying Matty. He saw Kate who was frowning. He sighed and set Matty down.

"I'll be right back Matty," he said.

"Is mommy sad?" Matty asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I'm gonna go ask her."

He walked over to Kate and sat down next to her.

"What's up?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she shrugged.

"Well I know that you're not exactly happy...you said 5 minutes ago that you wanted peace and quiet. Do you not want me and Matty to go to the park?"

"Oh, I don't care," she whispered. "If you think I do...well I don't."

"What's wrong then?" he questioned.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"You're a liar," he chuckled. "You miss the girls?"

"I missed Clementine," she whispered. "I just feel like we just got her back and she already wants to leave again. She doesn't-"

"She missed us too Kate," he assured her. "Do you know how hard she was crying this morning? She was sitting at the table and she was crying so hard I was afraid she was gonna wake you up."

"Why didn't you come wake me up then?" she asked. "If she was crying then I would have liked to comfort her."

"Me and Katie had it handled," he shrugged. "Kate face it...you do need the sleep. I mean we have a 3 year old that doesn't stay in bed and that comes to get us every 30 minutes at night, and then we have 2 babies that are barely 2 months old."

"I don't care," she shook her head.

"Ok," he sighed. "Well anyway Clementine did miss us...she just wants to get things back to normal. She doesn't want to be upset and sad anymore. She's back, and that's the only thing that matters. Do you want to come with us to the park?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm just gonna stay here with my girls."

"Ok," he whispered. "We'll be back soon."

He kissed her on the temple and left the house. Kate laid her head back against the wall and took a deep breath. She heard both the babies crying, and stood back up.

"I'm here to save the day!" Jack exclaimed walking into the house. Kate let out a chuckle and hugged him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well," he sighed. "Juliet is spending some time with her sister and nephew so I took the kids. J.C. was clinging on to Jack's leg, and Jack was holding the baby, Alex, who was now almost 1, on his hip.

"Can you say hi to Kate?" Jack asked. Alex waved and reached over to Kate. Kate laughed and took the little boy from Jack's arms.

"Sawyer and Matty just went down the street to the park," Kate said. "You can go catch them if you hurry."

"Kate," Jack chuckled. "I'm not leaving you here alone with 4 babies."

"I'm not a baby!" J.C. exclaimed.

"Ok," he sighed. "3 babies and a 3 year old that won't stop climbing on the furniture."

"I'm gonna be a bat when I grow up!" J.C said.

"A bat?" Kate asked.

"An acrobat," Jack laughed. "That's what Juliet and I always say when he climbs on the furniture and then jumps off of it."

Jack noticed that both the babies were crying, and he hurried over to the where they were and picked up Monica. Monica continued to cry and scream when Jack picked her up.

"Hey J.C.," Kate said quietly. "Do you want to come and play with some of Matty's trucks?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. He followed Kate back into the living room. Jack wasn't having any luck getting Monica or Lucy to calm down. Kate laughed and put Alex down on the couch. Alex started to whine and reach his arms up for her to pick him back up.

"I'll be right back," she assured him. She walked over to where Jack was trying to hold both babies. She took Lucy from him and bounced her gently. She and Jack both walked over to the couch and sat down, each of them holding a baby. Alex crawled over to Jack and tried to sit on his lap.

"Alex, I promise I will hold you in just a minute ok?" he asked. He looked at Kate and smiled widely.

"What are you smiling at?" she chuckled.

"Who knew that we'd be sitting here with our babies," he said. "I mean-I always thought that you and Tom would get married and have about 10 kids."

"Well I'm half there," she shrugged. "I never thought I'd marry Tom...Part of me thought that I'd leave here and never look back."

"I'm surprised you didn't, but then again, when Sawyer came it changed everything," he answered.

"Yeah," she whispered. "But I'm so glad that it did. Sawyer is the one constant thing in my life, that I can always count on."

"I have to tell you something," he said quietly.

"What?" she asked.

"Juliet-" he sighed. "She's-she got this job...I don't know what to do Katie."

"Katie?" she asked. "Jack something must really be wrong. You haven't called me Katie in about 10 years."

"I know," he nodded.

"Daddy," J.C. asked looking up at him.

"Just a second Jace," he sighed.

"But daddy my finger," he interrupted. J.C. had a small cut on his finger that was bleeding. Jack sighed and picked him up.

"Kate do you have a band-aid?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. She got up and came back quickly and handed Jack the band-aid.

"No daddy," J.C. whined, pulling his finger away.

"Jace, I'm just gonna put the band-aid on your finger...it's not gonna hurt."

"I know," he whined. "But I want the soron."

"Kate do you have any neosporin?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she said.

She and Jack fixed J.C.'s finger and then went back to the couch.

"Jack," she sighed. "What were you going to tell me?"

"Juliet," he started again. "She got a new job."

"Doing what?" Kate asked.

"Research I guess," he mumbled. "She wants this so bad...but she said she won't go if I don't want her to."

"Why don't you go with her?" she questioned.

"I dunno," he sighed. "It's some secret mission thing...they won't even tell her where they're going."

"So she's kind of waiting for your blessing?" Kate asked.

"I guess," he replied. "I mean...I know it's an amazing opportunity, and I wouldn't want to keep her from doing it, but-I mean J.C. is only 3, and he's so hard to deal with, but Juliet is like the best mommy ever. And Alex-I mean he's only a year old."

"You don't want the kids growing up without a mom," she nodded. "Well hold long will this be for?"

"3 Months," he stated.

"Well then come on," she chuckled. "You can handle the kids for 3 months. And Alex probably won't even have time to miss her."

"Yeah," he sighed. "You're right. You're right. And when she gets home we're gonna try for another kid."

"What?" Kate laughed. "You want another one?"

"Juliet wants a daughter," he answered. "We said we'd try until we had 5 kids...and then we'd be done."

"I can't imagine having 5 boys," she shook her head. "So for Juliet's case I hope she gets that girl next time."

"Kate, you have 5 kids," he replied.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I have 4 girls though...I know that Sawyer would like it if the household was a little more even with boys and girls, but I can't handle boys. Matty was enough for me."

"Are you guys gonna stop now?" Jack asked.

"I think so," she laughed. "I can't imagine having another kid...especially if it was twins again."

"But you're young...you could have another one," he argued.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked. "I don't care if I could have another one...Jack-I've been pregnant 5 times...yeah the first one didn't last. But still I could have 7 kids right now...do you hear how sick that is? I don't think that my body could handle another pregnancy."

"7?" he asked. "How do you figure that?"

"Miscarriage," she began counting on her fingers. "Katie, Clementine, Sammy, Matty, Monica, and Lucy...7."

"But you were never pregnant with Clementine," he argued.

"Yeah I know," she nodded. "I didn't count her. But I've still been pregnant 5 times."

"6," he said.

"Well Monica and Lucy were the same pregnancy Jack...I've been pregnant 5 times...I think I would know."

"Ok," he sighed. "Fine. Anyway I want to know how many more you're gonna have...if you keep going like you have been...you're gonna end up with 16 or 17."

"Hell no," she shook her head. "Jack I know that you're worried about Juliet," Kate started, changing the subject. "But everything is going to be ok. You have to know that."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Thanks Kate."

Jack reached over and put his hand on Kate's shoulder. She turned toward him and put her arms around him. She looked at him seriously and leaned toward him.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Sh-" before Kate could tell Jack to shut up he pressed his lips against hers.

"Kate!" Sawyer yelled. Kate and Jack both jumped and looked toward the door. "Kate we need the first aid kit."

"Dammit," Kate whispered. She stood up and ran to the door. "What happened?"

Sawyer was craddling Matty who was crying hard. There was blood all over Sawyer's shirt from where Matty had bled on him. Kate took Matty from Sawyer and looked at him. He had a good sized bump on his head. Kate carried him into the kitchen and set him down on the counter to get a better look.

"Head hurts mommy!" Matty screamed holding his hand to his head.

"Let me see," Kate said softly. "It's ok. Jack...Jack can you take a look."

Jack stepped in front of Matty and looked at his head.

"Oh, I think you're ok," he said. "Let me just look."

Sawyer had disappeared from the room. Kate looked around and didn't see him. She figured that he probably had something to do with why Matty got hurt. Kate picked up Matty after Jack bandaged his head.

"Is he gonna be ok?" Kate asked. "Should we take him to the ER?"

"Nah, he's tough...he should be ok," Jack shook his head. Kate nodded and continued to hold Matty and rock him gently.

"Can I go play with J.C. now mommy?" he asked.

"Yes baby," she said kissing him on the forehead.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "I need to go see if Sawyer's ok...I don't know what the hell happened, but I need to talk to him."

"I'll stay here with the kids."

Kate smiled at him and went up the stairs. She went into the bedroom and looked at Sawyer sympathetically.

"What happened?" she said softly.

"It was my fault," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I get that," she nodded. "I mean you running in here holding our bleeding child, and then you just disappeared? I'm guessing that means you probably had something to do with it...or at least you think you do. Now what happened Sawyer?"

"He fell," Sawyer sighed. He wanted to go down the firepole by himself...he wanted to be like his big sister...she always tells him that damn story about Ana saving her."

"He fell," Kate said, closing her eyes. She stepped toward him and hugged him tightly. "Of course it's not your fault then Sawyer."

"I should have gone with him...I should have been standing there to catch him," he shook his head.

"Sawyer how fast did it happen?" Kate chuckled. "Honey it's not your fault. And Matty is fine...he's downstairs playing with Jack and J.C."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Go on...get outta here. I'll be downstairs in a little bit...I just need one more minute of sulking."

"Seems to be what this family does best," she smiled.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter 79**

**_2 Weeks Later_**

Kate and Sawyer were alone for the first time since the twins were born. They were at a restaurant by themselves. They had finished dinner a while ago, but were just enjoying the quiet. Kate reached across the table and grabbed Sawyer's hand.

"We should probably go home soon," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked. "What's the point? We're just gonna go home to the chaos."

"Exactly...we left poor Jack alone...he's got our kids plus his own...and plus I think Claire and Charlie were going to come over with their kids."

"Well then there's 3 adults," Sawyer shrugged.

"And lets count...um. 5 of our kids, 2 of Jack's and 3 of Claire and Charlie's...that's 10 kids."

"We gotta go home and even it out."

"Katie and Clem are probably locked up in their rooms anyway..."

"Sawyer, let it go," she shook her head. "Plus apparently since Juliet left J.C. has become completely crazy. He cries at the drop of a hat and he screams for Juliet."

"Well that ain't our problem," he shrugged.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Jack is our friend. Let's go. We got 2 hours without any kids. It's time to go home."

When Kate and Sawyer pulled into the driveway they didn't notice Charlie and Claire's car, but since they were only a few blocks away they didn't know if they were there or not.

They walked toward the house and noticed the screaming before they got to the door. Sawyer grabbed Kate by the arm and shook his head.

"Let's just turn back before it's too late," he whispered.

"Well I hate to break it to ya but it is too late...and most of the kids in there are ours."

"But ours don't scream like that," he shook his head.

"Sawyer," she said raising her eyebrows and chuckling. "Are you kidding me? Our kids yell louder than any one I've ever met. Let's just go in and face the music."

"That ain't no music Freckles," he murmured.

"Come on," she chuckled.

They went into the house and before Kate was all the way through the door she was practicaly tackled by J.C.

"Mommy!" he sobbed. Kate picked him up and looked at him.

"No," she said softly. "I'm not mommy."

He whined loudly and hit his hands against her chest. She set him back down and sighed. She could hear both of the twins crying and she heard Matty yelling. When she went further in the house she noticed that Charlie and Claire were both gone.

"So Claire and Charlie decided to leave?" Kate asked with a smile. She took Monica from Jack's arms and Sawyer picked up Lucy. Monica quieted down right away, but Lucy continued to cry.

"Let's take them upstairs," Kate whispered. "We can come back down and settle Matty down."

Matty was running widly around the house. Sawyer stepped in his path.

"Matthew Ford!" Sawyer yelled, which surprised both Matty and Kate that Sawyer had yelled at him. "Calm your ass down right now. Sit down and shut up."

Matty sat down where he was, but he didn't shut up. He started crying about as loud as J.C. Kate looked at Sawyer and rolled her eyes. She wasn't exactly mad at him...she was kind of happy that he was finally disciplining Matty, but she wasn't so happy that Matty was now scared and upset. Kate and Sawyer took the twins upstairs and put them in their cribs. After singing 3 songs they finally stopped crying and went to sleep. Kate turned toward Sawyer.

"Ok," she said.

"I know," he mumbled. "You're pissed that I yelled at Matty."

"No," she chuckled and shook her head. "I'm just not sure telling him to sit down and shut up was the best thing to say to our 3 year old. He's still a little kid Sawyer."

"And that's why you're the one that gets to yell at them."

"Well I think it was about damn time that you said something," she sighed. "I mean sometimes I feel like you're the all of the kids' best pal, and I'm just the evil monster mother...it'd be nice if you started yelling at the kids every once and a while."

"Well I'm pretty sure that Matty will never talk to me again," he mumbled.

"Jeez," she scoffed. "You are so dramatic James Ford. Of course he'll talk to you again. Sure he'll be a little pissed for a while, but he'll talk to you again...believe me."

"Whatever," he mumbled.

"Let's go," she said. They went down the stairs and walked over to Matty who was still sitting in the same spot. He wasn't crying as hard, but he was still crying. Kate walked over to him and picked him up.

"Mommy, daddy is mean," he told her.

"Well daddy wasn't being mean," she replied. "Daddy was just trying to settle Lucy down and you were just running all over the house. Why are you still up anyway? It's past your bedtime."

"Because if Lucy and Monica get to stay up, then I do too. And Alex too."

Kate looked down at Alex who was sleeping soundly on the floor.

"How the hell did he sleep through that?" Kate asked in shock.

"Well the great thing about both Alex and J.C...once they're asleep...they stay asleep. You practically have to shake them awake to get them to wake up...watch," Jack smiled

Jack picked Alex up almost as if he were awake. Alex stirred slightly and then rested his head on Jack's shoulder and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"Where's mommy!" J.C. screamed loudly.

"I never should have let her go," Jack whispered. "I can't do this without her."

"Yes you can," Kate nodded. "And remember...this is a great opportunity for her. You don't want her to feel guilty for leaving do you?"

"No," he mumbled.

"Jace," Kate said softly. She squatted down and looked at him sadly. "Mommy went away for a little while. But I promise you she'll be back soon. She'll be back before you know it."

"Can she come home tonight?" he asked.

"Oh, baby no..." she shook her head. "But I promise that she loves you more than anything and she'll be back as soon as she can...and you know what, you get to come hang out with me and Matty a lot now."

"Can I come over tomorrow?" he questioned.

"Sure," she laughed. "Jack...one more question...where the hell are my older girls?"

"Oh," he chuckled. "I guess I didn't really have a chance to tell you with all the excitement. They went to Claire's to spend the night. I'm gonna get these two home to bed."

"See Matty," Sawyer said. "J.C. and Alex are going to bed too."

"I hate you daddy!" he yelled. He jumped into Kate's lap and hid his face in her neck. Kate stroked his head and stood up. She carried him up the stairs and put him in his bed. Sawyer followed closely, at the request of Kate. Kate laid down in the bed next to Matty and smiled at him weakly.

"Go to sleep," she whispered. "And tell daddy you love him."

"No," he whined and turned himself to the wall. Kate hugged him from behind and kissed him on the head. Then she got out of the bed and motioned for Sawyer to try. He shook his head and started leaving. Kate sighed and pushed back against him. He sighed and went back into the room. He got into the bed next to Matty and hugged him too.

"I'm sorry bud," he whispered. "I didn't mean to yell. I was just annoyed with your baby sisters."

"Not me?" he asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Not you."

Kate and Sawyer went back to their room and laid down. Kate snuggled against him and took a deep breath.

"Well I'm kinda glad the girls went to Claire's tonight," Kate sighed.

"I'm sure Claire's real glad too," he answered sarcastically.

"Well they're not that bad...come on," she sighed. "Why the hell did we ever have 5 kids?"

**A/N: OK...so the next chapter is going to have more Jateyness...hah, but don't worry...not too much. Anyway I hope you guys like this chapter...I know it was kind of short. Please review!**


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 80**

Kate and Jack had been hanging out almost every day. Jack had taken the 3 months that Juliet was gone off so that he could take care of the kids. He and Kate were sitting on the couch together looking at a photo album from when they were 7. The girls were at school, and Alex, J.C. and Matty were taking their naps. The twins were awake, but they were content and not making any noise.

"Do you remember that?" Jack asked pointing at a picture of Kate who had a nasty looking scrape on her elbow and was proudly showing it to the camera.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "That was when Bobby McIntire called me a girl."

"Well Kate, I hate to break it to ya, but you are a girl," he smirked.

"Hey!" she elbowed him. "I kicked Bobby McIntire's ass 20 years ago and I can kick your ass right now."

"I can't believe that was 20 years ago," he whispered.

"I can," she shook her head and looked down at Lucy and Monica. "They're perfect. I-"

She paused as she saw the look on Jack's face. She knew that he missed Juliet. She knew that he just wanted Juliet to come home...he wanted her to come home early...she hadn't even called him.

"Don't worry," Kate said quietly. "Juliet will be home soon...and then you can get working on that baby girl for her."

"Can I just have one of yours?" he asked.

"Jack!" Kate chuckled. "Don't you want your own baby girl? She can have big brown eyes like her daddy...and blonde hair."

"I know," he sighed. "I just miss her. Now I know how you felt when Clementine was gone...except I don't because I can't imagine what I would have done if Juliet had taken the boys with her."

"Just imagine how she feels," she whispered. "I mean, I know it's hard without her, but she's without you, and the boys, and...she doesn't have anyone...except her new co-workers."

"Yeah," he nodded. "You're right about that."

"Ok, let's keep looking at the pictures," she smiled.

Jack looked down at the photo album and continued to turn the pages. Kate took Jack's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"It's gonna be ok," she whispered. He looked at her and nodded.

"Kate," he said. She took the book off his lap and closed it. She turned toward him and hugged him. He kissed her on the cheek and then moved to her lips.

"Jack," she whispered. "Don't."

"You're right," he said backing away. He put his hands to his face and started to stand up.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I gotta get out of here," he replied. "I'm sor-"

Kate stood up and kissed him. He kissed her back and they sat back down on the couch. Kate laid down, bringing Jack with her. They both heard the front door open and Jack stood up.

"Mom!" Clementine exclaimed. Kate composed herself and looked at Clementine and Katie.

"Yeah," she said softly.

"I get to make a speech at graduation!" she exclaimed.

"That's awesome," Kate chuckled. "Come 'ere."

She hugged Clementine and looked at Katie who was standing there with her arms crossed and looking like she was very angry about something.

"Big deal, it's 5th grade graduation," she scoffed. "Who cares."

She ran up the stairs and shut herself in her room.

"What's the matter with her?" Kate asked Clementine.

"Oh, she's all pissed because I'm going to go hang out with my friend Lindsey this weekend and since Katie doesn't know her I didn't invite her."

"Well that makes sense," Kate nodded. "So she wanted to hang out with you this weekend and you're not going to let her."

"It's not my fault," Clementine stated. "Lindsey invited me over...she's having a sleep over for her birthday...it would be dumb to invite Katie. Katie is my best friend, but I can't spend every night with her."

"It's ok Clem," Kate answered. "I think you did the right thing ok? Katie will get over it."

"Whatever," Clementine scoffed. "So what if she doesn't...I've got other friends. I think that Katie's being a really bad friend if she doesn't want me to hang out with other people."

Clementine went upstairs too and Kate heard the door close. She looked at Jack and then closed her eyes.

"Jack," she shook her head. "I don't know what we're doing...but we're both married. We both have kids...we can't keep doing this."

"I know," he mumbled. "I just felt the need to kiss you...is that ok?"

"No," she answered. "It's not ok Jack. I wanted to kiss you too...but we can't-"

"I know," he interrupted. "I'm sorry. I'm gonna go now. I don't want to miss Juliet's call."

"Is she gonna call you?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "She said she would as soon as she had a chance. If I miss the call because I'm here with you...I'd feel like the worst husband ever...I'm gonna go get the boys."

Kate followed him up the stairs and they went into Matty's room where the three boys were. Matty was awake and playing with his toys quietly.

"Hey Matty," Kate said quietly. "How long have you been up?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "J.C. and Alex are sleeping."

"I see that," Kate chuckled. She picked him up and examined the bump on his head that looked much better but was still there.

"Kate," Jack said. "I don't think I'm gonna come back over tomorrow."

"Jack," she shook her head. "No...don't do that. We're still friends. I don't want to lose you."

Kate had tears coming into her eyes. Jack shook his head and stepped toward her.

"You won't lose me Kate," he answered. "I promise."

Kate set Matty back down and stepped into his arms. He rubbed the back of her head and sighed deeply.

* * *

Juliet was sitting in her house. It had only been 2 and a half weeks since she was on the island, but it seemed like forever since she had seen the kids and Jack. Ben told her that she couldn't call her family until the next week. She hadn't even been able to bring a picture of them. There was a gentle knock at the door and then Ben walked through the door.

"Go away Ben," she scoffed. "Because of you I haven't been able to talk to my family. My sister and my nephew and my kids and my husband."

"It was your decision to come to this island Juliet."

"Are you kidding me?" she asked. "I never expected that you were going to keep me from them. I figured I'd be able to call them once a week at least."

"Well that's not my problem Juliet," he shook his head, and left the house. Juliet sat back down and put her head down in her hands.

* * *

Kate was sitting by herself waiting for Sawyer to come home. Katie and Clementine were still not talking. Matty was upstairs playing alone. The babies were laying on the floor, but not interacting with Kate. She thought about what had happened that day. She had wanted to kiss Jack, but at the same time she didn't want to hurt Sawyer. Then she was thinking about Sawyer and how he kept kissing Shannon. He hadn't seen her or kissed her in a while, but that was totally different. Kate's relationship with Jack had always been complicated. She never wanted to be with him, but she still had this odd attraction to him. Kissing him didn't make sense, but it did feel good.

"Freckles!" Sawyer yelled. He was sitting next to her and took her by the hand.

"Hey," she shook her head. "What's up?"

"What's up with me?" he laughed. "What's up with you? I've been calling your name...what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" he asked.

"You," she lied. "And the fact that the girls are having a fight."

"Monica and Lucy?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "The big girls."

"What happened now?" he questioned.

"Oh," she chuckled. "Clem was invited for a sleep over and Katie wanted to go so they're fighting...because Clem won't let her go."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it's not her sleep over," she told him. "You can't just invite someone to someone elses house. And Katie doesn't know the girl."

"Oh," he nodded.

"She'll get over it," Kate replied. "Sawyer...I have to tell you something."

"What?" he asked, slightly concerned.

"I kissed Jack," she sighed. "And before you say anything I already keep bad about it so you don't have to yell and get pissed and-"

"You kissed Jack?" he interrupted.

"I'm sorry," she said with her head down. "I mean we were looking at this stupid photo album together and we were talking about how he missed Juliet and we kissed. I'm sorry."

He looked at her for another minute without saying anything and then he got up and left the house. Kate took a deep breath and started to follow him.

"Mommy?" Matty said coming down the stairs.

"Hey," she whispered.

"When is daddy coming home?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "Come on...let's go upstairs."

"Katie and Clementine were yelling."

"Ok," she sighed. She went into Clementine's room. Clementine was laying on her bed and listening to her music loudly. Kate walked over to the stereo and turned it down.

"You wanna tell me what your problem is?" Kate asked.

"Katie told me that it's my fault that you and dad are getting a divorce," she stated, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Me and dad are not getting a divorce," Kate said quietly. "Where would you even get that from?"

"We heard you guys talking," she answered. Kate closed her eyes and walked toward Clementine.

"We aren't getting a divorce hon," she said. "And even if we were it would not be your fault."

"You kissed Jack?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "It was my own stupid fault. I think dad just has to take a walk and cool off."

"But didn't he kiss Shannon?" she questioned.

"How did you know about that?" Kate inquired.

"Well you and dad were yelling about it that one time," Clementine replied. "I don't know...I just think that it wasn't really your fault that you kissed Jack."

"Well thanks," she smiled. "I don't think your dad feels that way."

"You didn't think that dad was just going to forgive and forget that easily did you?" she asked.

"I didn't know," Kate shrugged. "I just knew that I couldn't lie to him...me and Jack have been friends forever. We've been friends our entire life. And while it's true that I love dad more than anything..I still think about Jack sometimes."

"Did you want to marry him before you met dad?" she asked.

"No," Kate chuckled. "We just-Jack was upset about Juliet being gone."

"Why hasn't she called yet?" Clementine questioned.

"I don't know," she shook her head.

"Well-ok. So I know that I'm only 10, but if you want to leave for a minute while you go find dad I can stay here...and I'm sure that Katie would help me."

"No, it's ok," Kate responded. "I'm sure daddy will be back soon."

"Kate!" Sawyer yelled through the house. This time he was angry. Kate was almost afraid to go downstairs, but she knew that he would never hit her.

"See?" she smiled a Clementine and stood back up.

"Kate!" Sawyer bellowed again. Kate went into the hall and saw him standing in front of her.

"What?" she said quietly.

"Follow me," he stated, grabbing her roughly by the arm and dragging her into the bedroom. He pushed her backwards into the bed. He shut the door behind them and locked the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her hands began to shake. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Are you afraid?" he said coming toward her.

"I-" she started. He shoved her over so she was now laying down. He climbed on top of her and pinned her shoulders down with his hands. She looked at him, slightly terrified. She tried to get up but he held her down.

"Are you scared of me?" he repeated.

"No," she answered, shaking her head and her voice trembling.

"Yes you are," he replied. "Or at least you should be."

"You would never hurt me," she argued. "I know you'd never hurt me."

"You know," he scoffed, moving closer to her. "I used to think you'd never hurt me either."

He bent down and kissed her hard. She backed away and he continued to kiss her.

"Is this how he kissed you?" he growled into her ear.

"No," she shook her head. He got up off of her and looked down at her sadly.

"Now I know what you felt like," he whispered. He sat down next to her and shook his head.

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a deep breath.

"When I kissed Shannon," he mumbled. "Now I know how much that killed you. I'm sorry if I scared you Freckles...you know I'd never hurt you on purpose."

"I know," she nodded.

"Come here," he said opening his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and took another breath. He looked at her and kissed her again, but this time it was soft and gentle.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You're sorry?" she chuckled. "Why?"

"Because I know that I scared you," he responded. "I-and I punched Jack out."

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he shrugged. "When you said that you kissed him, all I could think about was hitting him in the face. He told me that he really didn't blame me."

"Is he ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "He's fine. But like I said...I'm sorry."

"Well I smacked Shannon when she kissed you," Kate chuckled. She rested her forehead against his. "Can we just forgive each other and start over."

"Sure," he replied. He laid them back down and pinned her down again. "We're alone in the house. The Shephard's are on vacation...you've never been kissed...we don't have 5 kids."

She smiled at him and kissed him. He kissed her back and then she flipped over on top of him. She started taking her own shirt off.

"Are you sure about this Freckles?" he asked. "I mean-we just kissed for the first time...are you sure you're ready-"

"Shut up," she shook her head.

"Yes ma'am," he smirked. Sawyer had his shirt off, and was moving Kate's pants down when they heard a knock at the door.

"Mom!" Katie's voice on the other side said loudly.

"Go away!" Sawyer exclaimed. "We'll be out in a little while."

"But mom!" she yelled. "Clementine is making me change Monica's diaper and I don't want to!"

Kate shook her head and got out from underneath Sawyer.

"We always have tonight," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" he mumbled.

"Yes," she said stepping toward him and kissing him again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back on top of him. She tried to get away from him, but he held on to her.

"You know this won't work right now," she said quietly. "The girls are gonna come back any second."

No sooner did Kate say this when there was a loud knock on the door.

"Mom Katie's being a spoiled brat!" Clementine yelled. "She won't help me!"

"Ok!" Kate yelled back. "I'll be there in a minute."

She rested her head against Saweyr's chest and let out a breath. He finally let go of her and she finished getting dressed. She left the room and could hear the babies and Matty all crying. She sighed deeply and went into Lucy and Monica's room. Clementine was holding Lucy in the rocking chair, but nothing was helping.

"Did you change them?" Kate asked.

"No," she scoffed. "What do I look like their mom?"

"Alright," Kate stated. "Do you know why Matty's crying?"

"Because Katie's a bitch," Clementine answered.

"Clementine go put 5 dollars in the swear jar," Kate sighed.

"What!" she exclaimed. "No!"

"Yes," Kate argued. "Now! Sawyer...Clementine owes 5 dollars to the swear jar...and after you put the money in there I want you to come back upstairs and go to your room for the rest of the night...and no Lindsey's."

"What?!" Clementine screamed. "That's not fair!"

"I think it is," Kate replied. "Now get out of my sight."

"Nice to know you missed me mom," she said. She slammed the door to the room that Kate was standing in. Kate let out an annoyed gasp, and sat down in the rocking chair with Lucy.

"Shh," Kate said quietly. "Please...I'll give you all the swear jar money if you quiet down...please."

Sawyer came into the room a few minutes later. Kate had gotten both babies to stop crying. She was sitting in the rocking chair without holding a baby, but she was rocking gently.

"What happened?" he asked. "Clementine's pretty pissed that you're not gonna let her go to that party."

"She called Katie a bitch," Kate scoffed. "She's 10...she can't use those words."

"Where the hell do you think she gets it from?" he asked.

"You," she answered quickly.

"Well...yeah," he admitted. "I agree that she should be sent to her room...but making her miss a birthday party. From what I understand Katie was being a bitch...she pushed Matty over and he hit his head again...and when it started bleeding and he started crying she called him a cry baby."

"How the hell did our kids become such jerks," Kate sighed. "Lucy and Monica are gonna stay sweet forever if I have anything to say about it."

"Keep dreamin'," he scoffed.

"You know," she sighed. "That stupid swear jar doesn't work either. I can't believe that Clementine called Katie a bitch."

"Well it's not like she did it to her face," he shrugged. "But I know-I'll talk to her."

"I'll come with," Kate mumbled. She and Sawyer went across the hall and knocked on Clementine's room.

"Go away!" she yelled. She turned her music up loudly and refused to open the door. Sawyer finally pushed the door opened...both Sawyer and Kate were curious as to how she got it to stay closed. They both looked at the chair that had been propped against the door to keep them out.

"You guys suck as parents," Clementine scoffed.

"Clementine, quit being so rude," Sawyer said sitting down next to her. "Look...mom and I talked and you can go to Lindsey's...but you need to stay in here the rest of the night...and quit playing your music so damn loud, you're going to wake up your baby sisters."

"Oh you mean Katie?" she asked.

"Clem," Kate began squatting in front of her. "Look...I know it sucks being the oldest, but you need to give your sister a break. How would you feel if you made plans in your mind to do something with Katie and then she told you that she made different plans."

"Ok," she mumbled. "I'd feel bad."

"Ok then," Kate said standing up. "Now maybe you should think about talking to your sister about what happened...maybe make plans for Saturday night?"

"I thought I wasn't allowed to leave my room," she smiled.

"Oh, you smart ass," Sawyer chuckled.

"Dad," she started. "Mom feels really bad about kissing Jack. We just don't want you to get a divorce."

"Thanks Clem," he shook his head. "But mom and I aren't getting a divorce. It was a stupid kiss...and it's not going to happen again, right Kate?"

"Right," she nodded. "Now...I give you permission to talk to Katie, but that's it..."

"Alright," she sighed. Clementine stood up and went to Katie's room.

"You told the girls?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she replied. "We both did. They were listening in on our conversation. Clementine was crying because she thought it was her fault."

"What did you tell her?"

"Oh," Kate shrugged sarcastically. "Just that she was totally right and that if we get a divorce it'll be all her fault."

"That's what I woulda said," he nodded.

**A/N: REVIEWS PLEASE!!!**


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 81**

The next day Kate called Jack. Jack hadn't come over that day. Kate wasn't sure that it was the best idea but she wanted to at least talk to him...considering that Sawyer did punch him in the face. He agreed to come over but only for a few minutes. He walked into the house with the kids and looked at Kate. He had a nasty looking black eye. Kate sighed and walked toward him.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't told him, or if I had stopped him."

"He was pretty upset...he didn't hurt you did he?" he asked.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Of course not. He scared me a little, but I'm ok...Did Juliet call yet?"

"No," he sighed. "I don't know if she ever will. She's probably just really busy."

"Definitely Jack," she nodded. "Juliet wouldn't just leave you and the kids with no explination...maybe they're on some desert island with no means of communication."

**_4 Months Later_**

Kate and Jack continued to hang out. They had stopped kissing, and they were back to being just friends. Jack was beginning to worry about Juliet since he still hadn't heard anything from her and it had been 4 months. J.C. stopped crying for her so much. Juliet had missed Alex's first word and first steps. She had missed J.C.'s fourth birthday which she promised she'd be home for. Jack was sitting on the couch holding Alex.

"I just want her to come home," he whispered.

"I know," Kate nodded. "It's been 4 months. I don't understand where she could be...or why she hasn't called you."

"I don't either," he sighed.

"Auntie Katie," J.C. stated, walking toward them. "I gotta question."

"Sure," she smiled and picked him up.

"At pwee school we have to bring in a mommy," he said.

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "Matty was telling me about that too."

"Can you be my mommy for a day?" he asked.

"Yeah," she chuckled. She hugged him tightly and set him back down.

"Can you be my mommy forever?" he frowned. Kate got down on the floor and pulled him back on to her lap.

"Jace, your mommy is sorry that she couldn't be home for your birthday. She loves you so so much. I promise that she wants to come home."

"When will she be home?" he asked.

"I don't know," Kate shook her head.

"Kate, I'm gonna get going," Jack sighed. "I just need to go home for a little while...do you want to come over for dinner?"

"Actually...Clementine and I are gonna make dinner. She wants to get a cooking badge for girl scouts," she answered. "But you guys are welcome to stay."

"I don't know," he said. "J.C. would you rather have dinner with Aunt Kate cooking, or me?"

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "You can't cook!"

"Well so-orry!" Jack laughed. "Ok...we'll go home for a little while and then we'll come back for dinner..sound good?"

"Ok," he nodded.

That night while Kate and Clementine were making dinner Katie was trying to help too. She didn't seem to be doing anything right. Kate didn't mind so much, but Clementine kept freaking out.

"Katie go away!" she exclaimed. "You're ruining everything and no one is going to want to eat it. Stop! You're not supposed to use that much salt! Mom!"

"Clem calm down, we can fix it. How much salt did you put in Katie?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just poured it in."

Kate took a deep breath. She tasted the sauce and it was definitely very salty. Kate did her best to not make a face, but Clementine saw it.

"See even mom thinks you're a bad cook...now just stop. Go away!"

"Clementine calm down," Kate sighed. "Katie why don't you go play with Matty ok? Me and Clem will finish making dinner and then later on you and I can make cookies and I'll teach you how to read a recipe ok?"

"Ok," she frowned. "Did I ruin dinner mom?"

"No," Kate said seriously. "I promise. We'll fix it."

Kate and Clementine finished making dinner with no more problems. That night while everyone was sitting at the table eating Katie was sulking.

"So you and mom made dinner?" Sawyer asked Clementine.

"Yeah," Clementine nodded. "And Katie helped with the sauce."

"Clementine!" Katie whined. She got up from the table and ran up the stairs.

"What did I do?" she asked. "I was trying to be nice. She almost messed it up, but I could tell she felt bad because I help mom make dinner...I wanted to make her feel better...she's just such a brat!"

"I'll go talk to her," Sawyer mumbled.

"No," Kate shook her head and sighed. "We're gonna have a nice dinner. Katie had her little hissy fit and when she gets hungry she'll come back down. Now lets just continue to enjoy this fabulous meal that Clementine made."

"Hardly," Clementine chuckled. "Mom did most of the work."

"Oh come on," Kate argued. "The only thing you needed help with is cooking the chicken."

"Yeah, you almost had a raw meal," Clementine laughed. "Mom told me that the chicken wasn't cooked all the way when I tried to blend it with the sauce."

"It's delicious," Jack replied. "Do you like it Alex?"

"Yeah," he nodded, and looked at his small plate of food curiously. Everyone laughed at how grown up he sounded.

"Who made the bread?" Sawyer asked.

"The bakery," Kate chuckled.

"Oh," he said. "It tastes homeade."

"Well it's freshly baked at the bakery," Kate continued to laugh.

"The red stuff is good," J.C. said.

"That's the sauce," Clementine told him. "It's like spaghetti sauce but better."

"Even though I ruined it," Katie stated frowning and taking her seat at the table again.

"Katie," Kate sighed. "You know I'm really sick of this attitude. Clementine was trying to be nice."

"She was making fun of me!" she exclaimed.

"No she wasn't," Kate replied before Clementine could argue. "She was trying to make you feel better. And honey, you didn't run off like that-"

"I don't care," she interrupted.

"Ok," Kate said picking up her glass of water and taking a drink. "Anyway...so Clementine is gonna get her girl scout badge."

"I want to make dinner with you again tomorrow," Clementine said. "It was fun. I like cooking."

"I never liked it until I had to start cooking for me and dad."

"You never _had_ to cook Freckles," Sawyer argued. "I would have cooked every once and a while."

"Yeah right," Kate and Clementine both scoffed.

"Fine," Sawyer said. "I'll cook tomorrow."

"Ok," Kate said. "What should we have?"

"I want tacos!" Clementine exclaimed. "Which means, dad, that you're going to have to chop up all the toppings like the lettuce and tomatoes."

"Can I help cook tomorrow?" Matty asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. Katie moved the food around her plate and let out a scoff.

"Do you have a problem Katie?" Sawyer asked.

"Matty can't cook," she mumbled.

"Matty can do anything he wants," Sawyer argued.

"Well if I can't cook, he can't," she stated.

"You know what Katie you can be excused," Kate said.

"I'm not done eating," she replied.

"I don't care," Kate shook her head. "I don't want you ruining dinner for the rest of us...go."

Katie pushed herself from the table and looked at them.

"Dinner sucked anyway," she scoffed. She left the room and stomped up the stairs.

"Kate," Jack began. "I'm gonna find Juliet."

"What?" Kate asked, shocked at the sudden change of conversation.

"I'm going to find her," he answered. "I don't know how, but I'm gonna find her and bring her back."

**A/N: Ok...so I really don't have a real a/n...just begging for reviews! haha. Thanks to all of you who have been reviewing and also my readers. I'm enjoying this fic a lot and I still have some ideas floating around in my brain, but any ideas you guys have let me know and I'll try to incorrporate them**.


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

Kate and Sawyer stared at Jack like he was crazy. Clementine cleared her throat softly and scooted herself out from the table.

"I'm just gonna go up to my room," she said quietly. "Come on Matty."

"I don't want to," he stated. "I'm still eating."

"We can bring your food upstairs with us," she offered. "Right mom?"

"You can stay," she answered. "We'll talk to Jack after dinner."

The rest of dinner was spent in almost complete silence. Even the kids could feel the thickness in the air. After dinner Alex, J.C. and Matty went with Clementine up the stairs. Sawyer and Kate started clearing the dishes. Jack sat where he was and looked at them.

"What?" he asked. "Can you really blame me? I know for a fact that if either of you were missing you'd go looking for each other. You wouldn't want your own kids growing up without either of you."

"Jack," Kate started. She sat back down at the table and looked at him. "Of course if I didn't know where Sawyer was I would want to try and find him...but how are you going to find her. We have no clue where she is at all."

"That's why I'm gonna find her. I'm going to take my parents life insurance money and pay whoever I can and I'm gonna find her."

"Ok," she nodded. "Fine then. That sounds like a plan...but just a pre-warning...I know you already said it in front of J.C. and Alex, but I wouldn't talk about it too much to them."

"Why not? They need to know that their mom is coming home," Jack answered.

"But-" she sighed.

"You don't want to get their hopes up doc," Sawyer mumbled. "What if you can't find her? What if she's gone for another year?"

"She won't be," he shook his head. "So whatever...if you're not gonna help me I'll find someone who will."

"Jack," Kate began. "We'll help you. What do you want us to do?"

"I don't know," he chuckled. "I'm gonna go to Portland."

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Because that's where she was going to be," he shrugged. "But I think you're right...she must not be there. I don't know where she is, but I'm gonna start there."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Are you coming over for dinner again tomorrow? If Sawyer and Matty are gonna make dinner you might want to come for the show."

"Thanks a lot," Sawyer scoffed. "Tacos are easy anyway."

"No," Jack shook his head. "I think I'm gonna just stay at home."

The next day when Sawyer got home from work Kate was sleeping on the couch. Matty came running toward him and jumped up into his arms.

"Hey," Sawyer said. "What's going on?"

"We gotta make dinner."

Sawyer set him back down and walked into the living room. He knelt down next to where Kate was sleeping and pushed her hair away from her face. She shifted slightly and went back to sleep. He smirked and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back and let out a chuckle.

"I'm home," he told her.

"Yeah," she said stretching her arms over her head. "I see that. Is dinner ready yet?"

"I got home about 30 seconds ago, so no," he responded.

"Daddy are we gonna make it!" Matty said running toward him.

"Yes," he said. He picked Matty up and walked into the kitchen. Kate stood up and followed them. Sawyer put Matty on the counter and started getting the ingredients out. Kate sat down at the kitchen table and started watching them.

Sawyer started getting the ingredients out while Matty sat on the counter and watched.

"Daddy what should I do?" Matty asked.

"Hold on," he answered. "I'm thinkin'."

Sawyer got out a pan and started cooking without Matty helping him. Matty started to whine loudly.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"I wanna help."

"Ok," he said. "You can stir in a minute ok?"

Matty went to put his hands in the pan with the meat, and Sawyer caught him just in time.

"No," he sighed. "Not yet. It's hot."

"Sawyer," Kate began. "Maybe tacos wasn't the best thing for you to make with Matty."

"That's what Clementine wanted," Sawyer argued.

"I know it's what she wanted," she replied. "But I think maybe it was too hard for the two of you to make together. You should have made something that Matty could help you with."

"Sorry Matty," Sawyer stated.

"I wanna make dinner!" he yelled.

"Matty let's make a salad," Kate said quickly standing up and walking over to the counter where Matty was sitting. She picked him up and put him in a chair at the table. Then she got some other ingredients and put them in front of Matty.

"We're gonna have a salad with tacos?" Sawyer asked.

"Sure, why not?" Kate questioned. "And this way Matty can say he helped with dinner."

That night Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed and Kate started giggling.

"What's so funny?" Sawyer asked.

"I was just thinking about-I liked pretending that we don't have any kids or responsibilities."

"Ok," he said with a smirk. "Well then close your eyes Freckles."

She let out a laugh, but closed her eyes. He moved over her and looked at her.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she said still smiling.

"Ok," he continued. "We got caught...we hadn't done anything except sleep next to each other, but the Shephard's didn't believe us. I have just snuck into your room and crawled into bed next to you."

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Kate asked, giving him a kiss. They both heard the babies crying. Kate sighed and got out of the bed.

"I'll be right back," she said. "Don't move."

Kate quickly left the room and went into the nursery. She looked down at both the babies and let out a deep breath. She picked up Monica and started rocking her gently.

"You know," she began. "It's very hard for me and daddy to pretend that we don't have any babies when you're crying."

Monica stopped crying, but as Kate lowered her down into the crib she started to whine, telling Kate that she was going to cry. Kate held her for a minute longer, but since Lucy was still crying she put her down and picked up Lucy. Lucy grabbed at Kate's face but didn't stop crying. After Kate was gone for 5 minutes Sawyer came into the room. He picked up Monica and looked down at Kate, who was looking very frustrated.

"Now why the hell did the Shephard's have to have so many damn kids?" Sawyer asked her. "They're like bunnies."

Kate's smile widened. She tried to stop smiling, but it didn't seem to be working. Sawyer sat down next to her and they waited for the babies to go back to sleep. When they were sleeping Sawyer took Kate by the hands and lead her back to their room. They laid down together and Sawyer ran his fingers up and down her back.

"So," he smiled. "Where were we?"

"We had just gotten caught," she whispered closing her eyes.

"Oh...right," he replied. He moved his mouth over hers and kissed her softly.

"We could get caught again," she said quietly.

"But isn't that the fun of it," he answered. "It's dangerous...we could get caught at any minute."

"Mommy!" Matty's voice said on the other end of the door and he started pounding on it.

"He's gonna wake up the girls," Kate whispered. She got out of bed and opened the door. Matty was standing in front of her with tears streaming down his face.

"What happened?" she asked, picking him up and carrying him back to his room.

"I had a bad dream," he answered.

"You're ok now darlin'," she said quietly. "It was just a dream. Go back to sleep."

"Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered. She waited until he had fallen asleep and then carefully got out of his bed, making sure he didn't wake him up. She walked back into her room and Sawyer grabbed her by the arm and pushed her against the wall, and covered her mouth.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I don't want you to wake up the Shephard's," he said quietly. He kissed her and locked the door. They made their way back to the bed and continued to kiss. Kate started toward Sawyer's pants and he pushed her hands away.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered with a nod. "I feel safe with you Sawyer."

"I'll keep you safe forever Freckles," he said.

2 Months Later

Jack hadn't spent much time at the Ford's house. He was way too busy trying to find Juliet. The kids would come over every so often so Jack could have some time alone. He had gone back to work as well since he wasn't getting any money. Kate still didn't get why Juliet would still be gone. There was no force in the universe that could keep her from her kids.

The front door opened and Jack came inside the house. Kate looked up from wiping Matty's nose and smiled.

"Hey," she said. "Are you dropping the kids off?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm going to Portland."

"You've gone to Portland 3 times in the past 2 months Jack," she shook her head. "You're not going to be able to find her. It's not gonna work."

"I can't give up!" he practically screamed. Matty jumped at the sound of Jack's voice. He stayed quiet, but continued to stare at him.

"I know," she nodded. "I don't think you should just give up Jack...but-your kids miss you. Alex is gonna be 2 in a couple weeks...are you gonna be back by then?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm just going for the weekend...and when I find her I'm coming back for the kids and we're going together."

"Do you want us to take the kids while you go?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "They went to stay with Rachel and Julian."

"Ok," she whispered. "Be safe Jack...come back soon. Make sure that you don't disappear."

"Kate, it's like you said," he began. "I've already been 3 times. I'll be back in a couple days."

Kate watched Jack leave and sighed deeply.

"Mommy can I have a peanut butter sandwich?" Matty asked.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Did Jack leave again?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "He did. But he's gonna be back soon."

Kate tried to stop worrying about him. Jack could take care of himself. It was true that he had been trying to find Juliet for 2 months and nothing had happened yet, but she always got a sickening feeling in her stomach whenever he said he had a lead...and what was weird about this time was that he didn't even say he had a lead. He was just going.

Clementine and Katie were gone the whole day with their friends, playing at the park. It was summer vacation and Kate couldn't wait till school started back up. School thankfully would be starting in just 3 weeks. Kate heard the front door slam and then both the girls screaming at each other.

"I'm telling!" Katie exclaimed. "And you're gonna be grounded for life."

"See if I care!" Clementine yelled. "You're such a spoiled little brat I'm surprised you have any friends at all."

"God, I hate you!" Katie screamed. "I wish you had never come back!"

"Katie!" Kate yelled coming into the room. "What the hell is your problem? Why would you say that?"

"Because," she sobbed. "Clementine was being mean to me! She told me I didn't have any friends!"

Katie ran up the stairs and Kate let out a deep breath.

"Lemme guess," she started. "You got invited to someone's house this weekend and Katie can't come."

"No," Clementine sighed. "Mom-ok...so I'm gonna be 11 next week...and I'm going to be in 6th grade when school starts back up..."

"So?" Kate asked.

"Katie's still gonna be in elementary school. I'll be in middle school. I'm older than her."

"By a year," Kate sighed. "Katie is gonna be in 5th grade, you're going to be in 6th...it's not that big of a difference."

"I know," she nodded. "But I want to have a party, but none of my friends know her...I don't want her to come."

"I thought that Katie was your best friend," Kate argued.

"She is," Clementine responded. "But I just-she doesn't like anything we like. She still plays with barbies."

"You still play with barbies," Kate said.

"Shut up!" she yelled. "Only with Katie."

"Hey!" Kate yelled back. "Don't yell at me."

Kate heard Monica crying and started leaving the room.

"Way to go mom," she shrugged. "Maybe you should have another kid...seems like the only kids around here who you care anything about is the damn babies."

"Go to your room Clementine," Kate stated. "You know...I can't believe you. Your dad and I have done everything for you. And this is the thanks we get. You're an ungrateful little brat. And Katie won't be going to your birthday party because you won't be having one."

"Kate!" Clementine screamed. "That's not fair!"

"Oh...you're gonna call me Kate now?" she asked. "Because you can't get what you want...and I'm sure later on I'll be mommy when you really need something."

"I hate this family!" she yelled. "I wish my real mom had never died because maybe I'd be happy."

"Yeah, you're so miserable," Kate nodded. "Why don't you just go and find your other dad back in France?...you'd be happier there right?"

"Probably!" she exclaimed. She ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door hard. Monica and Lucy were now both crying and so was Matty. Kate walked over to Matty and picked him up. She shhed him, but she was also crying softly. She set Matty down on the couch and he whined for her to pick him back up.

"Hold on Matty," Kate sniffled. "Let me go get the girls."

"Clem is right!" he sobbed. "Babies are the only ones who get attention!"

Kate tried to grab him and stop him from leaving the room, but he wriggled out of her grip and ran up the stairs. Kate let out a frustrated scream and sat down on the couch with her head in her hands. She could still hear the babies crying, but it didn't seem to matter as much.

The front door opened again and Sawyer walked into the house. He saw Kate and walked toward her slowly.

"Freckles," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she sniffled again and picked her head up.

"The babies are crying," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "I don't know what to do anymore...when I take care of the babies I get accused of being a crappy mom to the rest of the kids, but if I let them cry what does that make me?" "Kate, slow down...tell me what happened," he replied. Kate told him the whole story and he looked upwards at the bedrooms in exhasperation.

"She said that?" he asked. "She said that you only care about the babies?"

"It's true," Kate sobbed. "I mean-when the babies are crying that's all I can hear...that's all I can think about. And Matty was crying, but I wanted to calm the babies down too and he-"

"Kate," he whispered. "You are not a bad mom. I get what happens. The babies crying gets distracting. And you just want them to quiet down so you can talk to the other kids."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I guess."

"Lemme go talk to her," Sawyer said. "But Kate...we can't cancel the damn party. It's next weekend. That would just be totally unfair...and you know if you keep telling her she can't do something when it's way too harsh of a punishment, she's gonna start thinking that she can get away with everything."

Sawyer went up the stairs and knocked on Clementine's door. When there was no answer he used his arm to open the door. However there was nothing holding the door shut and he practically fell into the room. The room was empty.

**A/N: K...I hope everyone enjoyed this! heheh. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I would appreciate it greatly**.


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

Sawyer went further in the room trying to see if she was hiding. She wasn't anywhere in the room. Sawyer left the room and went to Katie's room. He knocked softly and let himself in the room.

"Katie have you-" he began. Katie was gone too. He ran down the stairs and looked at Kate.

"Everything all better?" she asked. "That didn't take long...and I didn't hear any yell-"

"They're gone," he interrupted.

"What?" Kate asked.

"They're gone," he repeated. "The girls are both gone. I went into both their rooms and they're just gone."

"Ok," Kate said quickly. "Let's not panic. We don't want to scare Matty...um. I'll call Claire."

"I'll go down to the park to see if they went there," he replied.

"Ok...and if we can't-Sawyer," she said, trying to keep calm, but beginning to panic.

"It's ok Kate...they'll be ok," he said stepping toward her and pulling her into a hug. "They probably just got pissed and ran away. I'm gonna kick their asses when they get home."

"Well first you should probably hug them...then you can kick their asses," Kate said.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'm gone...call Claire."

Kate picked up the phone and was still shaking. She had to dial Claire's number 3 times before she got the numbers right. She waited for Claire to pick up the phone and it wasn't happening.

"Hello?" Aaron answered.

"Aaron," Kate breathed. "Are the girls there?"

"What girls?" he asked.

"Aaron...Clementine and Katie," she replied.

"No," he responded. "Why would they be here? Katie hates me now, and Clementine isn't talking to me either."

"Why not?" Kate asked. "What happened?"

"Well Katie found out that Clementine was my girlfriend and she flipped out," he said. "And Clementine said that sisters have to stick together so she broke up with me." "Aaron, I'm sorry," Kate stated quickly. "But if you hear from either of you...you need to give me a call ok?"

"Ok," he answered happily.

"Wait a minute," she started. "Clementine's your girlfriend? When did that happen? And aren't you a little young to be dating?"

"Kate, do you know anything?" he asked. "We don't go anywhere, but everyone at school knows we're boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Ok," she smiled. "I guess I remember those days."

Kate hung up the phone. She thought about it and the thought maybe that was what the girls were fighting about to begin with. Especially since Aaron was also going to be in 5th grade. It made no sense to have a "boyfriend" that was in 5th grade, but not have a best friend in 5th grade. Kate shook her head and waited somewhat patiently for Sawyer to come back...hopefully with both girls.

Sawyer walked through the door with Katie slung over his shoulder. She was yelling at him to put her down, but he refused. He carried her up the stairs. Kate followed and went into Katie's room.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she asked.

"I went to follow Clementine," she answered with tears in her eyes. "She wouldn't let me follow her any more."

"What was your fight really about?" Kate asked.

"Aaron," she whispered.

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"Aaron?" Sawyer questioned. "What about Aaron?"

"They were leaving me out when we were playing today," she replied. "Aaron told me that he couldn't be my boyfriend because Clementine was prettier."

"He said that?" Kate asked.

"No!" Clementine exclaimed, appearing in the doorway. "That is not what he said Katie...besides that we all know that you're way prettier than me."

"Shut up," she mumbled.

"Clementine we'll come talk to you in a minute, go to your room."

"Fine," she scoffed.

"Katie, you know way better than to just run away," Kate sighed.

"Yeah, but for once you were worried about me and Clementine. I know you love all of us, but Matty and Monica and Lucy seem to mean more since they can't take care of themselves."

"I'm sorry if you feel that way," Kate stated. "But next time how about just telling me and daddy that you need some attention...instead of just running away and scaring us to death."

"Ok," she murmured.

"We love you Katie bear," Sawyer told her.

"That's what grandpa used to call mommy," she replied.

"I know," he chuckled. "Go to sleep."

"Dad it's only 8:00."

"OK, then don't go to sleep," he shrugged. "We gotta go talk to Clementine too."

"Is she in big trouble? Are you gonna yell at her? Are you gonna ground her? Is she not allowed to have a birthday? Can I come watch?"

"Katie," Kate sighed. "Here...read your book."

Kate handed Katie her book and stood up. She and Sawyer made their way to Clementine's room and sat down on the floor in front of her bed.

"I'm probably gonna be grounded forever," Clementine said into the phone. "I probably won't see you tomorrow...or ever again. They're here...bye."

"What's going on?" Kate asked. "What happened? Why were you really fighting?"

"Ok," Clementine sighed. "Today me and Aaron were hanging out like we always do. And Katie said something about how she'll never have a boyfriend because she's not pretty enough. Me and Aaron started off saying that she was crazy, but she wouldn't listen to us. She just kept arguing. We decided that we weren't going to win the fight so we started agreeing with everything she was saying. And she got all pissed because she thought we thought she was ugly."

"Whoa whoa," Sawyer stated. "Since when is Aaron your boyfriend? You are way too young. Kate did you know about this?"

"Try to keep up Sawyer," she sighed. "Clementine I guess that's not your fault that Katie was being that way. But why don't you want your sister at your birthday party."

"Well I'm not having one now, so it doesn't matter right?" she scoffed.

"Clem," Sawyer sighed. "Mom and I talked about it, and she's gonna stop taking privilleges away that are unfair. Your birthday party is next week so of course we're not gonna make you cancel it. Now why don't you want Katie there...she's your best friend."

"I don't want Katie there because she kept telling embarrassing stories about me today," she mumbled. "And she kept saying really mean things, like how you're not really my mom. So I said if she said one more mean thing I was gonna un-invite her to my party. And she said that she hopes that Aaron dumps me...so I un-invited her."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "That sounds fair...but then why did you lie to me about it? You could have told me that from the beginning and then I wouldn't have gotten so frustrated with you."

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just didn't want Katie to get in worse trouble...but now I don't care. I don't want her at my party."

"Ok," Kate replied. "That sounds fair...I wouldn't want her there either if she was really saying those things. But maybe in a week you'll change your mind."

"I won't," she scoffed.

_6 Days Later_

Clementine was having her party. She and Katie hadn't made up so she refused to let her at the party. Kate was sitting upstairs in Matty's room reading him a story. Katie knocked on the door and came in without waiting for an answer.

"Mom can I go downstairs?"

"What for?" Kate asked.

"I'm thirsty and I want some pop," she whined.

"Katie," she sighed. "Go into the bathroom and get a glass of water."

"Why?!" she exclaimed.

"Because you know if you go down there Clementine is gonna yell at you to leave and the night is just gonna end in tears."

"I hate Clementine!" she yelled. She slammed Matty's door and Kate heard her run down the stairs.

"I'm sorry Matty," Kate sighed. "I'm gonna go make sure that your sisters don't kill each other."

"Can daddy finish the story?" he asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Kate smiled. "Lemme go get him."

Kate kissed Matty on the forehead and sighed. She got up and went into the twins room where Sawyer was supposed to be hiding out for the party. When he wasn't there Kate went to their room, and he wasn't there either.

"Get her out of here dad!" Clementine screamed. Kate ran down the stairs and saw three of Clementine's friends holding her back while Sawyer held on to Katie.

"I just wanted a pop!" Katie yelled back.

"Hey!" Kate yelled and whistled. "Clementine cool it...look at yourself...you have 3 friends holding you back. Katie get your pop and go upstairs."

Katie grabbed a can of pop and ran up the stairs. Kate sighed heavily and looked at Sawyer.

"Matty requested that you go finish his story," Kate said.

"I can take care of this," he replied. "You go read to Matt."

"Alright," she shrugged. "Come get me if you need me."

Kate went back up the stairs. She went into Matty's room and he was already sleeping. She lifted the book off his chest and covered him with the blanket.

"Night," she whispered. She left the room again and closed the door. Then she went into Monica and Lucy's room. Lucy looked up at Kate and started reaching for her. She was sitting up holding on to one of the bars of her crib. Kate smiled and picked her up.

"Hey Luce," she said softly. "Was your sister being loud?"

Kate heard sobbing and objects falling coming from Katie's room. She sighed again, kissed Lucy and put her back in the crib. Lucy whined for a minute and then laid down when she realized Kate wasn't coming back. Kate walked into Katie's room and dodged a ceramic bunny that was being thrown at the door.

"Katie!" Kate exclaimed. "You could have seriously hurt someone. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"That was Clementine's stupid bunny that she gave me," she frowned.

"Why do you want to be friends with someone who's so mean to you anyway?" Kate sighed.

"Because we've been best friends for-" Katie stopped and started counting on her fingers. "Almost 10 years. We became friends on my first birthday...I'll be 10 in less than 3 months."

"I know," Kate nodded. "I'm sorry that Clementine's being such a brat right now, but she'll eventually get over it and you two will be best friends in no time."

"Kate," Sawyer's voice said quietly as he came into the room. "Clementine's here. She wants to talk to Katie."

Kate stood up and began to leave. She stopped in front of Clementine and took her by the arm gently.

"Look," Kate sighed. "I know that Katie's your annoying little sister, but she's barely a year younger than you...give her a break."

"Then give me a break mom, I came to say I was sorry," Clementine stated. As Clementine went into the room Kate sunk to the floor and put her hands to her face.

"Were we this bad at this age?" Kate whispered.

"Well I wasn't, but girls are way worse than boys, so I'm sure you were."

"Hey," she scoffed. "Don't you mess with me."

"Or what?" he asked. She grabbed him by the hands and pulled him down. Then she tackled him from a sitting position and straddled him.

"Freckles, all you had to do was ask," he told her. "You never have to force me into this position."

She smiled down at him and kissed him gently.

"We better go," she whispered. "This is too out in the open."

She stood up and started walking down the stairs. When she got to the bottom of the stairs she saw Clementine's friends waiting for her to come back.

"Clementine should be back soon girls," she smiled.

"Mrs. Ford?" one of the girls said standing up.

"Yes," she nodded.

"How old are you?" she asked. "I know it's bad to ask, but I just wondered."

"28," she chuckled.

"She was 19," another girl whispered loudly.

"I was 19 when I had Katie," she answered with a nod.

"Your husband is really cute," the third girl stated.

"Thanks," Kate smiled widely.

"Melanie!" Clementine exclaimed coming into the room. "That's gross! He's old enough to be your dad!"

"So," she shrugged. "He's still cute."

"You're so gross," she repeated. Katie was walking behind Clementine. "Anyway...guys this is Katie. I know you already kind of know her, but you only think that you know her. She's really nice if you get to know her...so she's gonna sleep down here with us...and if anyone has a problem with it, you better call your mom now to come get you because she's staying."

Kate smiled again. She walked over to the two girls and hugged and kissed both of them. They both let out embarrassed groans, but nothing else. Clementine and Katie were back to being friends. Kate made her way up the stairs. She peeked her head in Matty's room again to make sure he was still sleeping, and he was. Then she as she walked past the twins room she made sure they were sleeping and content too. Sawyer greeted her in the hallway.

"Hi," she smiled.

"The girls all made up?" he asked.

"Yep," Kate nodded. "Katie is down with the other kids...they're best friends again."

"Well thank the lord," he said sarcastically, but being honest at the same time.

Kate and Sawyer both crawled into bed. Kate wrapped her arms around him and took a short breath.

"That little girl Melanie," Kate began, with a chuckle. "I think she has a crush on you."

"Hmm," he smirked. "I guess she's got pretty good taste huh?"

"I'd say so," she answered.

"God no wonder!" he exclaimed. "When I went down there all those girls got quiet, except they were chuckling. I couldn't figure it out. And Clementine practically shoved me out of the room."

"Well," she started. "I'm glad that I got you...I just have to watch out for 10 years from now...you'll be 38...those girls will be 21, and you'll probably be ready for some younger, hotter ass."

"Kate," he scoffed. "Of course I will...but just because I'm ready for it...doesn't mean I'll go for it."

"Oh, that's sweet," she said, shaking her head.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I'm probably going to update again tonight...it probably won't be till around 1-2am my time which is Michigan time...I don't really know if that means anything haha, but anyway pleaase review!!!**


	84. Chapter 84

**A/N: OK...the beginning of the chapter has a little more Skate fluff, and Jack comes back from his search for Juliet...has he found her? I'm also changing the rating to M just in case. It's not going to be too bad, but I didn't want to offend anyone. I hope everyone still keeps on reading**

**_Chapter 84_**

That night Kate wasn't really looking forward to the first real slumber party that either of the girls had had. Both Clementine and Katie had pretty much only been friends with each other till now. Kate and Sawyer didn't know what to expect...Kate never had normal sleepovers when she was a kid. Her only real friends were Jack and Tom. They would have sleepovers, but mostly it was just Kate escaping her house and going to Jack's to get away. It was around 9:30...if Matty and the babies weren't already sleeping Kate wouldn't have said anything, but the girls downstairs were being loud. Kate went down the stairs and looked at the girls.

"Clem," she said. "I know that you want me to be the cool mom and you want me to let you stay up late and be loud...but Matty, Monica, and Lucy are sleeping so can you keep it down."

"Yeah," she mumbled.

She went back up the stairs and into the bedroom. Sawyer was laying in bed watching TV. She wakled over to him and laid down.

"How many times do you think you're gonna have to go down there?" he asked.

"If I have to go down there 2 more times it's over," she chuckled.

"What's over?" he laughed back. "You can't just send the girls home."

"Well let's just put it this way," she began. "I'm not gonna be happy."

Sawyer put his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest. They both settled into each other and continued to watch the TV. Kate wasn't really watching it, but she continued to lay in Sawyer's arms. Monica started crying which annoyed them both since they were both completely comfortable.

"I'll go," Sawyer mumbled. Sawyer got up and walked into the twins room. He hoped that he would get there before Lucy woke up too. He picked Monica up and shhed her. He sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking her slowly.

"Moni go back to sleep," he whispered. "If you wake up Lucy no one is going to be happy."

Sawyer looked up and saw Kate standing in the door way. She smiled at him and walked over to him. She was still smiling at him as she looked down at the baby.

"What?" he asked.

"You're so incredibly sexy," she smirked.

"Really?" he said, showing her his dimples. "Well I'm glad you thnk so. How am I sexy?"

"Talking to Monica," she answered. "And look...she's fast asleep listening to your voice."

Sawyer stood up and put Monica down in the crib. They both began to leave the room. The moment Kate opened the door there was an explosion of laughter coming from downstairs. Kate tried to shut the door quick enough for the babies not to wake up but it was too late. They both started crying and were already sitting up, looking at Kate and Sawyer. Kate and Sawyer looked at each other and sighed. They each picked up a baby and started calming them down. Lucy quieted down almost immediately. Kate tried to put her down so she could go downstairs and talk to the girls, but as she tried putting her down Lucy started crying again.

"I'll go downstairs, and I'm taking Monica," he told her. "Maybe then they can know what they did with their loudness."

He walked down the steps, still carrying Monica. When Sawyer appeared in the living room with the baby who was still crying. The girls all quieted down when they saw Sawyer.

"Clem," one of the girls whispered. "Tell him to stay down here."

"Why?" Katie asked. Another girl whispered into her ear too quiet for Sawyer to hear, but from the look on Katie's face it was probably something about him being cute.

"Gross!" Katie exclaimed. "Dad why are you down here?"

"Because you woke up Monica and Lucy so I'm telling you to be quiet," he replied. "And if we have to come down here again...it's not gonna be a good thing. Mom's not gonna be happy."

"Dada," Monica said. Sawyer smiled at her and started leaving. He heard another girl say 'he's so cute with that baby'.

Sawyer went quickly up the stairs and into the twins room. Kate was looking at Lucy with a goofy smile on her face.

"What happened?" Sawyer asked.

"Lucy just said mama," she answered.

"Really?" he said with a smile and a laugh.

"What?" she questioned.

"Monica just said dada," he chuckled. Kate stood up and took Monica.

"Say it again," Kate said. "Say dada."

Monica shook her head and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Sawyer looked at Lucy who was sitting on the floor looking up at her parents. He bent down and picked her up.

"Hey Luce," he said. "Did you say mama?"

She looked at him and put her hand on his face. She snuggled against him and then looked at him.

"Dada," she whispered. Kate started laughing and walked toward them. She hugged Lucy while Sawyer still held her.

"They're gowing up so fast," Kate said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Before you know it they'll be having sleepovers and their little friends will be thinking I'm cute...don't worry Freckles...once Matty gets older all his friends are gonna wanna come here and see Matty's hot MILF."

"Sawyer you're so-" she began. "Romantic."

Kate and Sawyer went back to the bed room and laid down. It was still somewhat early, only being 10:00, but Kate was hoping that she could lay the rest of the night in Sawyer's arms...she was hoping the kids would stay quiet downstairs, and the babies would stay asleep. However they were only laying there for a few minutes when the door opened and Matty came running toward them.

"God," Kate whispered. "Why did we ever take him out of the crib?"

"Because we were sick of him screaming for us and waking up the girls."

Matty jumped onto the bed and into Sawyer's arms which was highly irregular. Most of the time he wanted Kate. Sawyer carefully put his arms around him and looked at him.

"What's the matter?" Sawyer asked.

"I had a bad dream about a mean man with a gun," he sobbed.

"What do you mean?" Sawyer questioned.

"I was hiding," he replied. "And a bad man was going to kill me but a nice lady put me under the bed and told me to stay quiet. I think he killed her."

Kate and Sawyer looked at each other in awe. Sawyer hugged Matty tighter and stood up.

"No!" Matty cried. "I wanna stay here with you and mommy."

"It's ok," Kate whispered. "You can stay sweetie."

Matty looked at Kate sadly and wrapped his arms around her. She rocked him and kissed him on the cheek. He started crying hard. She continued to rock him and Sawyer put his hand on the back of his head.

"Buddy it's ok," Sawyer whispered. "It's gonna be ok...it's just a dream...and it's all over now. Ok. Mommy and me won't let anything bad happen to you."

"I know," he sniffled. Kate and Sawyer waited until they were sure that Matty was asleep, until Kate got up and carried him back to his room. When she came back, she sunk into bed next to Sawyer and wrapped her arms around him.

"If the girls downstairs make a sound so help me God-" she began.

"I'll go down there," he answered. "Hey...maybe if I tell them real nice the girls will listen...they do seem to worship me."

"You're so twisted," she scoffed. "They're 11."

"So?" he asked. "Don't tell me you never had a crush on a guy you could never get at that age."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "But they were all on TV. You know New Kids On The Block, and Scott Baio."

"New Kids On The Block?" he asked. "Those guys were wimps."

"Yeah Sawyer," she chuckled. "Compared to you...of course they were...it's a good thing I never got to go to a concert isn't it? I might have gotten back stage and fallen in love with Jordan Knight...what about you...did you ever have any crushes on women that you never had a chance with?"

"Only one," he replied.

"Ok," she shrugged. "Who?"

"This gorgeous woman," he started. "The minute I saw her I knew that it would change my whole world."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Just tell me...it can't be that embarrasing. Just a name."

"Katherine," he replied. "She was a beautiful woman just sittin' on her front step playing with a lighter."

"James," she smiled. "That was really sweet."

"Oh I know," he smiled back and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and rolled on top of him. They started slowly, he was kissing her lips and her neck. They both heard the girls singing loudly. Sawyer looked more annoyed than he had in a while.

"I'll be right back," he said quietly. He kissed her once more and left quickly. He went down the stairs slowly, making sure that he skipped the squeaky step. When he got downstairs he glared at the girls.

"What dad?" Clementine asked.

"You guys are being way too loud," he shook his head. "Now look, it's 10:30...you girls need to go to bed."

"Ok Mr. Ford," the girl named Melanie said. He smirked and shook his head.

"Goodnight girls."

When Sawyer got back upstairs Kate was waiting with the sheet covering her. He could tell that she wasn't wearing anything else.

"Kate," he cocked his head. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. He crawled into the bed next to her and pulled her toward himself. He kissed her softly and moved his hands down her body again. She started moaning softly. When her moans got louder he covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shh," he said with a soft chuckle. "You don't want to wake up the kids up here, or let the girls downstairs know what's going on."

"I don't care," she whispered. She lifted his shirt up over his head and re-wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him deeply. Her moans got louder. He covered them with his mouth. When the baby started crying Kate stopped moaning so loud, but neither of them got out of bed...just this once they were going to let her cry.

* * *

Sawyer woke up with his legs and arms intertwined in Kate's. He carefully took his arms from around her and tried to get his legs out from under hers. She mumbled quietly and then tightened her legs around him.

"Hey," he said trying to push her off of him. She turned toward him and smiled widely. She let him go and kissed him. He kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her. He held her tightly and she tried to squirm from his grasp, but he only tightened his arms again.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm hugging you," he replied simply.

"You're squishing me," she breathed as best she could.

"I'm holding you then," he answered. "I'm just holding you tightly."

"I should go downstairs and see if the girls want some breakfast," she said.

"The girls ain't up yet," he stated. "It's only 9:00...they'll be sleeping till at least 10 or 11."

Kate smiled at him and kissed him softly. He rolled over on top of her and started running his hands down her body. She reached up and pulled him toward her. She chuckled softly and ran her fingers through his hair.

"You need a hair cut," she smirked.

"Mommy!" Matty said on the other end of the door. Sawyer grumbled, but didn't get up.

"Just let him wait out there for a minute," he said.

"Sawyer," she stated. "We just relieved each other last night...we can let our little boy in. Lemme just get some clothes on."

Sawyer got up and so did Kate. He had his boxers on already and went to the door. He opened it just a crack to let Kate finish getting dressed.

"May I help you?" Sawyer asked.

"Mommy!" he yelled. "I want mommy!"

"Mommy's sleeping," he whispered. "Come back in a little while and let mommy get some sleep."

"No!" he exclaimed. He was able to push past Sawyer and run into the room. Kate had gotten back into the bed, and she was dressed. Matty crawled onto the bed and snuggled against Kate. Kate put her arms around him and sighed softly.

"What's wrong honey?" she asked.

"I just wanted to cuddle, mommy," he answered.

"You're my little cuddler," she smiled. "Just like your daddy."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed. He looked at Kate, still slightly aggravated, but she looked so adorable holding the little boy that any of his annoyed feeling went away.

"You look hot," he told her.

"What are you talking about?" she chuckled.

"Taking care of our son," he replied. "I love watching you with him."

"Hey," she said with a smile. "You can't steal my phrase from last night."

"Mommy can we go downstairs now?" he asked. "I want food."

"Ok," she nodded. "Let's go."

She stood up and took him by the hand. He stopped walking and reached up to her.

"Carry me!" he exclaimed.

"Alright," she chuckled. "Come here."

She picked him up and he wrapped his arms around her neck. Sawyer came up behind her and put his hand on her back and moved it downward.

"James Ford behave yourself," she said quietly.

"What mama?" Matty asked.

"Is your name James?" she questioned with a smile.

"What did daddy do?" he asked.

"Nothin'," Sawyer stated walking ahead of them.

"Sawyer," Kate began. She walked toward him and whispered into his ear. "I'm gonna take a shower after I make breakfast for Matty and the girls."

"Does that mean you want company?" he asked.

"What do you think?" she smiled. "Also...you might want to get some clothes on...if those girls see you in your boxers I don't know what they're gonna do." Kate walked down the stairs and when she got to the bottom she saw that all the girls were already awake. She set Matty down and walked into the living room where there were blankets and pillows scattered across the floor.

"Did you girls have a good night?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," they answered.

**_3 Weeks Later_**

Jack had come back with no further leads on Juliet. He went into a deep depression that no one seemed to be able to snap him out of. The kids spent most of their time at the Ford's house or with their aunt...but that was it. They spent almost every night at the Ford's house sleeping in the living room. Kate didn't know what to do about Jack. She did everything that she could think of to help him through it, but nothing she said made a difference.

One night the entire family was sitting in the living room playing games. Clementine and Katie were playing the game of Life. Kate, Sawyer and Matty were playing with the twins and Sawyer was trying his best to teach Matty a game of cards at the same time. He started off with Poker, but that wasn't working at all, he went down to crazy 8's but that wasn't easy enough either. Finally they decided on go fish. Matty was going to be 5 in 2 days, and he insisted that he could play something harder than 'gold fish' (which is what he called it.)

Sawyer told him that until he could call the game by it's proper name that was the only thing they were going to play. There was a knock at the door which Clementine jumped up to answer. J.C. was standing in front of her holding Alex by the hand. They were both crying. Kate and Sawyer both got up quickly and went to the door. Kate picked up Alex and rocked him in her arms.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Hey," Sawyer said, squatting in front of J.C.

"Hi," J.C. stated.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "What happened? Where's daddy?"

"I don't care!" J.C. yelled. Clementine picked him up and carried him over to the couch. The Ford kids tried to calm down the Shephard kids...Kate and Sawyer looked at each other confused.

"What happened?" Kate asked one more time.

"Daddy hit me," J.C. sobbed. Kate looked at Sawyer with her mouth opened.

"I'm going over there," she sighed.

"No," Sawyer grabbed her by the arm. "I don't want him going and hitting you...and if he could hit his own kid, he could hit you."

"Sawyer, I'm going," she argued. "You'll just piss him off worse. Let me go."

Kate ran out of the house and over to Jack's house. She didn't bother knocking on the front door before going inside.

"Jack!" she yelled. "Jack!"

He was sitting on the couch with his head down between his legs. He looked up at the sound of Kate's voice, but didn't move from the couch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked. "You hit J.C.?"

"Oh come on," he sighed. "I spanked him...I didn't hit him."

"Spanking is hitting Jack," she told him.

"Well you make it sound like I hit him in the face or something," he answered.

"Well that's what he made it sound like," she replied. "What happened?"

"We were talking about Juliet," he started. "I told J.C. to stop talking about her because I was just finished...I didn't want to talk or think about her anymore tonight. And I said if he brought her up again he was going to get a spanking."

"You spanked a 4 year old for talking about his own mommy?" she asked.

"I know," he mumbled. "I'm a horrible person...I'm a horrible husband...I can't even find my own wife, and I'm a terrible father."

"Jack," she said sitting down next to him. "You're not a horrible person, or husband, or father. Juliet has been gone for 6 months now. You're not horrible for wanting to find her...or for being upset that you can't...but right now your kids need you more than ever. Since they don't have a mommy, they need to know that their dad is here and going to take care of them."

"I know," he nodded. "Do you think they'll forgive me?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Eventually I'm sure. Why don't you come over."

"Ok," he sighed.

When they came back into the house Clementine and Katie were doing a dance for J.C. and Alex. They were both smiling and their eyes weren't even red...you couldn't even tell they had been crying.

"J.C.," Kate started. "Your daddy came here to say he's sorry. Can you go hug him?"

"No," he whined and frowned.

"Jace I'm sorry," Jack said softly. He walked over to him. "You didn't deserve to be spanked. I was just so frustrated. I miss mommy and I want her to come home."

"I miss mommy too," he replied. "But when you miss someone you're supposed to talk about them. Clementine was telling me about how they still talk about Sammy...Sammy was older than me...but not older than Katie and Clementine."

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "I remember Sammy. We will always remember Sammy...so I guess we have to always remember mommy too right?"

_**2 AND A HALF YEARS LATER-yeah I know I'm jumping ahead a lot, but I do have a reason.**_

Things stayed pretty much the same over the next two years. Jack continued his search for wherever Juliet could be. He didn't want to give up even though everyone told him there was no chance. They all knew that she would never be coming back. Alex was 4 and he had no memory of her. J.C. was almost 7, and he barely remembered her...he only had a couple small memories of her and a lot of them were only because of pictures that they would look at.

Clementine and Katie were still best friends. Both of them had made other friends too though and they were hardly ever at home. Aaron and Clementine broke up, which didn't surprise anyone...but Sawyer still thought that once they were older they would get back together and have a real relationship. Clementine was 13, Katie was 12, Matty was 6, and the babies almost 3. Kate and Sawyer had grown closer than ever. Sawyer would sometimes talk about having another kid, which always surprised Kate because she always thought that 5 was plenty...she only wanted 4 in the first place. J.C. and Alex still spent a lot of time at the Ford's house, but they were joined by Jack most nights. Jack had been working a lot, and then also looking for Juliet...even though he spent some time with the boys, they both still missed him. Alex had even made a mistake a couple times and called Sawyer daddy.

Claire and Charlie were still living 5 blocks down and the kids spent a lot of time there. Claire had just had twins again. She loved having the older girls there to help out. Aaron was almost 13, and the twins were 4, the babies were only a few weeks old. The Ford kids all loved going over there to see the babies and the other kids.

The kids had all gone to Claire and Charlie's. Kate told Claire that Monica and Lucy could stay at home, but Claire insisted that they come too. Claire and Kate had become much closer too because since they both had 5 kids and all their kids got along well, they spent a lot more time together...in order to help each other with all the kids. Sawyer and Kate were home alone for the first time in a long time. Kate went up the stairs and smiled as she walked into the bedroom.

"Well Freckles," he smirked. "Now we can really pretend we have no kids, because right now...we don't."

"I love the fact that you still like to pretend we don't have kids," she smiled.

"Hey, you like to pretend it too," he argued.

"Yeah, I know," she answered. Their lips were almost touching when the bedroom door opened fast.

"I found her!" Jack exclaimed. Sawyer and Kate both looked at their friend...they would have to have their night away from everyone another night.

**A/N: OK so I hope that this didn't go too quickly, and I hope I got the ages pretty much right. I just had this idea...I'm going to stop at 100 chapters which will be on the day before or the day of the season premiere of Lost in the US...I'm so upset because I think I will have to work every Thursday...and it's a closing shift so it will be from 6-11...poo! I'm so upset. I'm just happy that they post the episodes online, otherwise I'd be even more upset. Anyway now that you know that little tidbit, please please review!!!**


	85. Chapter 85

**A/N: OK...so make sure that you've read the other two chapters. I'm not trying to be a nag lol...it just didn't seem like very many people read chapter 83 or 84 compared to the other chapters. Have fun!**

**Chapter 85**

Kate got up off of Sawyer and looked at Jack. Jack was smiling from ear to ear. He walked toward Kate and hugged her before she could ask him any questions.

"What do you mean you found her?" Kate asked.

"I found Juliet," he stated. "I know where she is. And me and the boys are going to get her. Juliet is coming home."

"Jack," Kate began.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I need her back."

"Ok," she sighed. "What do you want us to do?"

"I want you to come with us," he responded. "So get the kids all ready...we're going."

"Where?" she asked. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know exactly where it is...all I know is that the time and the money finally paid off...we're getting her back," he said. "And I want you there for the reunion."

"Ok," Kate replied.

**_2 Weeks Later_**

They were all on a boat headed toward the island. Kate was nervous. She didn't want to be there. She was holding Monica on her lap. Sawyer was sitting next to her. He could tell that something was upsetting her.

"It's gonna be ok Freckles," he told her. "I promise. We're going to get Juliet back. Isn't that what matters?"

"I just don't understand why Jack was so desperate that we come too," she sighed. "What if something happens? What if we don't really find her? I just-I'm worried about the kids. I mean Clementine, Katie, and Matty need to get back to school...and their friends."

When the boat hit the shore Sawyer looked around. It looked like a completely deserted island. There was no sign of life. As everyone got off the boat Sawyer helped lift the kids down. Kate handed him Monica last and climbed down. They walked around the beach. Lucy and Monica both headed toward the water. Kate ran toward them and picked both of them up.

"Get back here," she chuckled.

"Water mommy!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Yes," she nodded. "It's water...but it's also very dangerous. No going into the water without mommy or daddy."

Sawyer and Kate looked around the beach. The kids were all looking confused.

"Mom," Clementine stated, walking toward her. "What are we doing? What is this? I don't get it."

"Jack," Kate began. "What's going on?"

"No," he shook his head. "This is right! It has to be. We have to get Juliet back!"

"Jack calm down. J.C. and Alex are already scared, you don't want to make it worse."

"I'm going into the jungle," he replied. "I have to find her. Can you stay here with the boys?"

"Sure," Kate nodded.

Kate and Sawyer sat on the beach with the kids. They went into the water while they waited. Kate was already sweating from the heat. She leaned her head on Sawyer's shoulder.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked quietly.

"Well darlin'," he sighed. "He's crazy...but I don't blame him. I mean come on...we need to help him find Juliet. It's been 3 years. Jack misses her. If you were missing-I don't know what I'd do."

"I guess the same thing right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

Jack came back to the beach and looked defeated. He walked toward Kate and Sawyer and looked at them.

"She's here," he frowned.

"She's here?" Kate asked. "Then why are you so upset?"

"I am upset because I found her...she has a new life here...I don't think she would even want to come back to us," he mumbled.

"Jack I'm sure that's not true," she shook her head. "Juliet loves you...and she loves the boys. It's gonna be ok...we'll get her to come back...first thing in the morning."

"Thanks Kate," he said quietly.

The next morning Kate and Jack went into the jungle while Sawyer stayed with the kids. When they came upon the village Kate looked at Jack in awe. She thought it was pretty odd that there was an entire village on this island. She started walking toward the clearing.

"Stop," Jack said taking her by the arm. "Wait. We can't just go charging in there...we don't even know what kind of weapons they have."

Kate saw Juliet coming out of one of the houses.

"Look," Kate whispered. Jack seemed to forget everything he had just said. He ran toward her.

"Juliet!" he exclaimed. She looked toward him, shocked to see him.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Where did you come from?"

"I came to take you home," he told her.

"I can't-" she said softly. "He'll never let me leave. I have to stay until I figure out-"

"Good to see you too Jules," he mumbled. "Do you even think about me? About the kids? Alex is 4...J.C. is gonna be 7. Do you even care?"

"Of course I do," she said, with tears coming into her eyes. "But I can't come with you...he's never going to let me."

"Well can I at least bring the kids here so that they can see their mom."

"I don't know," she sobbed. She leaned against him and began to cry. Kate walked out of her hiding place and went toward them. Juliet saw Kate and shook her head.

"How are the kids?" she asked.

"They're ok," Kate nodded. "They miss their mommy."

"Liar," she chuckled. "They probably don't even remember me."

"Jace does somewhat," Kate responded. "I'm sure they would both love to see you again. And I'm sure that all my kids would love to see you too."

"I'm gonna come with you then," she sighed. "I'm-let's go."

Juliet began walking quickly. Something came over her that Kate and Jack couldn't recognize. As they walked through the jungle Kate and Jack both heard a metallic sounding noise. Neither of them understood what it was, but Juliet stopped in her tracks and looked at them.

"Run!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Run!" Juliet repeated. The three of them began to run. It had started to rain. Kate, Juliet, and Jack were sliding all over on the mud of the jungle floor. At one point Kate fell, but Jack helped her up and they continued to run. When they reached the beach the sound seemed to have stopped and be gone. Kate looked at Juliet in awe.

"What was that?" Kate asked.

"We don't exactly know," she sighed. "But whatever it is...it's not good. It kills people. It killed Goodwin."

"Who's Goodwin?" Jack asked.

"Just one of them," she shrugged. Kate looked over at Sawyer and the kids. They were all huddled under a tree. J.C. and Alex both saw Jack and ran toward him.

"Auntie Katie!" Alex exclaimed. "Hold me."

Kate bent down and picked him up. Juliet looked at her sons who were much bigger than the last time she had seen them. She was completley shocked. J.C. looked from Kate, to Jack, and then at Juliet.

"Mommy?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she squeaked out. Juliet was on the verge of sobbing, but she held it back. She had steady tears streaming down her face. J.C. looked at him. Jack and Kate were waiting to see what he would do.

"Where have you been?" he asked, he was now crying too. "We missed you."

Juliet couldn't hold back her tears or her sobs any longer. J.C. hugged her tightly. Juliet fell to the ground still holding him.

"I missed you so much baby," she sobbed. "And your brother...he got so big."

"Go say hi to your mommy Alex," Kate whispered. She set him down and he clung on to Kate's leg. He was hiding his face and whining quietly. Kate squatted down in front of him and sighed. He wrapped his arms around Kate's neck and hid his face again in her neck.

"I'm gonna go sit with uncle Sawyer ok?" she asked. "I'll hang out with you later."

Kate walked back over to Sawyer and sat down next to him. Katie and Lucy were trying to make a sand castle with the wet sand. It wasn't working too well, but it was still amusing to watch them try. Matty walked over to Kate and sat down on her lap.

"Oh," she sighed. "You're getting to heavy for me to hold."

"Mommy is J.C.'s mommy back for good?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I hope so."

Over the next few hours Jack and Juliet sat together with the kids. Jack was trying to persuade Juliet to come with them, but nothing seemed to work. She insisted that Ben wasn't going to let her leave. The entire group made their way back to the village. Kate and Sawyer each were carrying a twin. Clementine, Katie, and Matty were all complaining that their feet were tired. When they finally arrived Juliet told them all to hide while she went to talk to Ben. She was gone for a few minutes and when she returned she had a large smile on her face. They all were sure that meant she was going to be allowed to leave...however this wasn't the case.

"You guys can stay," she said. "That house right there is for you guys...and Jack you and the boys can stay with me in my house."

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. "We're not staying. We're going back to the boat and going home."

"The boat is gone Mrs. Ford," a new voice stated. "I sent the boat away. You and your family will grow up here."

"What are you talking about?" she questioned. "This isn't where we belong."

"Then why did you come?" he asked.

"To get Juliet back!" she exclaimed.

"Well then you wasted a trip," he smirked. It gave Kate and Sawyer both the chills. "You will either live in that house and listen to what we have to say, or we're going to make your life miserable."

They walked over to the house. Kate sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. Monica and Lucy were both waiting to be told what to do.

"Mommy we going home?" Lucy asked.

"No baby," she shook her head. "Not yet. We will go home soon though ok?"

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "Don't-don't do that. Don't get their hopes up. We might not-"

"Hope is the key word Sawyer," she interrupted. "I have to hope."

Over the next 2 weeks nothing happened. They got used to living on the island in their own little house. Kate wanted to go home. She was pissed that Jack had dragged her with him. She was just glad that the kids were there too because if she was without them she didn't know what she would do.

The kids were over at Jack and Juliet's playing. Kate and Sawyer were alone in the house. Kate didn't know quite where Juliet was going, but she came in to tell them that they would have the night alone. She wasn't sure what it all meant. Juliet had taken a blood sample from Kate...and she wasn't sure what all that was about either.

Juliet walked up to Ben's house with her clipboard. She looked at him and took a deep breath.

"Why do I have to do this?" she asked.

"Because," he shrugged. "We already know that both Kate and James are fertile...considering they have 5 children...but we need to find out what will happen on the island."

"But she's my friend!" she exclaimed. "I don't want her to die!"

"Then don't let her," he mumbled. "She's not already pregnant right?"

"No," she whispered.

"Ok then," he nodded.

Sawyer and Kate were sitting together. Kate looked at him with a smile and then shook her head. He sighed softly and then leaned over and kissed her softly.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I just wanted to kiss you."

"I don't get it," Kate said. "Why did Juliet take the kids tonight? I mean-we've been here for 2 weeks. The kids aren't going to be good for them. Monica and Lucy are gonna be horrible."

"So?" he asked. "It won't be our problem right?"

She let out a laugh. He pulled her near himself and kissed her on the mouth. She kissed him back and they laid down on the couch. Kate stopped and pushed up on Sawyer. She took a deep breath and looked at her feet.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Juliet took the kids for the night...isn't this out only chance pretty much?"

"What if this is what they want?" she sighed. "I mean I know it sounds stupid, but it all seems pretty fishy to me. Juliet came and took our kids for the night...she was practically pushing us together...don't you think that was kind of weird?"

"Maybe a little," he shrugged. "But Juliet is our friend...she wouldn't purposely hurt us. Why would she? Maybe she honestly just wanted to give us the night off from the kids."

"I don't know Sawyer," she shook her head. "I'm just-thinking I guess."

"Well don't think," he said taking her cheeks in his hands. "Just be here with me. Kiss me."

She stood up and took him by the hands. He stood up and followed her into the bedroom. She laid down and brought him with her. She kissed him softly and rolled over on her side. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. They both started taking their clothes off. When they heard the front door open they both backed away from each other.

"Kate?" Juliet asked. "Sawyer?"

Kate covered herself up with the blankets and waited for Juliet to come into the room. They both watched as Juliet appeared in the doorway.

"Don't do this," she whispered.

"What?" Kate asked. "Don't what?"

"You can't-" she began. "Men's sperm count is 5 times greater on this island...and women who get pregnant...they die."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer stated, sitting up further and pulling Kate toward him, trying to protect her. "You were trying to make it so Kate would get pregnant so you could do some experiments on her?"

"No," she shook her head. "It was Ben's idea. I was only doing what he told me to, but I can't risk it. Kate you're my friend...I can't let you die."

"Are you saying that we can't have sex for the rest of the time that we're here?" Sawyer asked. "So if we're here for another 3 years we can't-"

"You can be careful," Juliet interrupted. "I just thought you should know. I'm sorry. Please forgive me...can you?"

"Yes," Kate whispered. "Now get the hell out."

"Can you believe her?!" Sawyer yelled after she had left. "She was going to kill you."

"She wasn't going to kill me," she sighed. "I know that it sounds dumb...but at least she told us before it was too late."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "And now I'm all...well I can't take this anymore."

"Oh you big baby," she whispered. She kissed him and rolled over on top of him.

"Didn't you hear what Juliet said?" he asked. "I don't want you to die."

"I'm not gonna die," she sighed. "And like she said...we can be careful."

She kissed him again and reached her hands up the back of his shirt. He reached around her and unhooked her bra with one hand. She smiled at him and laid down next to him

"See?" she asked. "We can just kiss and hold each other."

That's what they did. They both held back on making love. They just laid in each others arms. Kissing occasionally, but keeping their hands to themselves.

The next morning Kate and Sawyer woke up to the sound of their kids talking loudly in the living room. Clementine was yelling something about letting mom and dad sleep. Monica and Lucy were both yelling about something but neither of them could tell what. Kate stood up and wrapped her robe around herself. She walked over to Monica who ran toward her when she saw her.

"Mommy!" Monica exclaimed. "Clem mean!"

"Clem mean?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Hold me mommy."

Kate walked over to the couch and held Monica on her lap. Lucy was sitting on the floor looking up at them. She stood up and walked toward them.

"Me too!" Lucy exclaimed. She crawled onto the couch next to Kate and started to try and sit on Kate's lap too. Monica was whining and started to kick at Lucy.

"Monica," Kate said. "Don't kick Lucy."

"Go away!" Monica exclaimed. Monica pushed her lightly, and Lucy fell to the floor dramatically and started sobbing. Kate rolled her eyes and sighed softly. Sawyer came into the room and picked Lucy up.

"Hey," he whispered. "What happened?"

"Mon-ga kicked me," she sniffled.

"Mon-ga kicked you?" he asked.

Matty walked over to the parents and sat down between them. He leaned his head against Kate's shoulder. Kate smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his face. His hair was long and had the texture of Sawyer's but the color of Kate's.

"You need a hair cut buddy," she told him.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I want it to be long like dad's."

"Well your dad needs one too," she chuckled. He leaned against Kate's shoulder again, slightly pushing against Monica.

"No Matt!" she whined pushing him.

"Don't push Monica!" he exclaimed pushing her back.

"No!" she yelled. She pushed him again and he fell backwards toward Lucy and Sawyer. Sawyer tried to move Lucy in time, but Lucy and Matty bumped heads, quite hard. Sawyer and Kate both heard the clunk, and it made them both cringe. Lucy and Matty both grabbed their heads and they both started crying. Kate sighed softly and set Monica down. Matty fell against Kate crying. She smiled weakly and brushed her hand across his head.

"You're ok," she whispered. Lucy was crying so hard that she wasn't taking a breath.

"Lucy breathe!" Sawyer yelled. She took a deep breath and sobbed. She rested her face against Sawyer's chest and continued to cry. She wiped her nose on Sawyer's face and left a string of snot.

"Thanks a lot," he scoffed. Looking from his shirt to her. At this remark she started laughing. He smiled at her too and rubbed her head with his hand gently.

"You ok?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she said, still frowning, and still having tears roll down her cheeks. Sawyer wiped her tears away and reached over for a tissue. He wiped her nose again and set her down on the floor next to Monica.

Clementine and Katie both didn't look amused. Katie stood up from her spot on the floor and stared at Sawyer and Kate.

"Mom when can we go home," she said walking over to Kate and sitting on her lap.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged. "I'm sorry baby. We never should have gotten you kids into this. I'm very sorry. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes mom," she sighed. "I know it's not your fault. It's stupid Jack's fault. And I wanna go home."

"I don't know when we can sweetie," Kate repeated. "But I promise...we will eventually."

"It's so boring here," Clementine sighed. "There's no TV or no books. I hate it."

"I know," Kate nodded. "I'm bored too. But I'm just glad we're all together. We can keep each other busy. Maybe Juliet knows where we can get some books."

"Well she had books, but she said they were too old for us," Clementine said. "She gave us cards though. You wanna play some poker?"

The family played poker and other various card games. Sawyer discovered that the coffee table was a box filled with board games so they spent most of the day playing card and board games. At around 10:00pm there was a knock at the door. Monica, Lucy and Matty were already sleeping. Kate got up and answered the door. Juliet and Jack were standing in front of them holding a TV.

"Ben decided that you guys should have some entertainment," Juliet smiled. Jack looked rather annoyed, but he was helping Juliet carry the TV. "Now unfortunately we don't have cable on the island...but we brought you some movies and that's what you can watch.

"Juliet, why can't we leave?" Kate asked. "All the kids just want to get back to their real lives...and me and Sawyer do too."

"I'll talk to Ben about letting you guys go," she replied. "But I'm gonna have to stay...and I would like it if Jack and my kids could stay too."

"Of course I'm gonna stay with you Juliet," he sighed. "But keep in mind that our kids need to go home too. They miss it. They miss their toys and J.C. misses his friends."

"Well he has Matty doesn't he?" Juliet asked.

"Yes," Jack nodded. "But not if Ben lets the Ford's go home."

Later that night Kate and Sawyer were back in bed. They let the girls sleep in the living room with the TV on. Sawyer was laying on his stomach staring at Kate. He wasn't wearing anything except for his boxers. Kate was running her fingers up and down Sawyer's back. Normally this wouldn't have bothered Sawyer at all, but tonight it was making him want Kate. She continued to play with his hair and run her fingers across his shoulders and down to his lower back.

"Screw this," he whispered. He rolled toward her and kissed her softly but pationately. Kate kissed him back and as they kissed she realized how much she wanted him too. He slid his hands down her back and took off her shirt in one swift movement. He worked on unbottoning her jeans which wasn't as easy without looking. As they made love neither one of them thought about getting pregnant, or Kate dying. They just needed to comfort and hold each other.

* * *

There was a soft knock at Juliet's window. Juliet was thankful that Jack was a heavy sleeper. She went over to the window and opened it slightly.

"It worked Juliet," Ben said quietly. "Good job."

**A/N: I hope ya'll liked this. Please review!**


	86. Chapter 86

**A/N: OK...so the next two chapters are semi-short, but a lot happens. I would love love some feedback and ideas because I'm nearly to 100 chapters...I know some of what's going to happen, I'm just not sure I have 12 more chapters worth of ideas haha. I'm so psyched. Please please review and remember to read the other chapters if you haven't already**. 

**Chapter 86**

Kate opened one eye. Sawyer was smiling down at her. She smiled back and wrapped her arms around him. He sunk down and kissed her. She let out a breath of contentment.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I know," he chuckled. She leaned against him and kissed him on the neck. He rolled over on top of her and started running his fingers down her body. She smirked but then got out from underneath him.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"To go see the kids," she answered.

"Wait," he said pulling her back into the bed. She laid down and looked up at him, only slightly annoyed. He kissed her and then noticed that she wasn't following his lead. He sat up over her and ran his hands through his own hair.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I keep thinking about what Juliet said. What if I get pregnant? Besides I don't want to do this early in the morning. You know that any second Monica and Lucy are going to come knocking on the door and considering the door doesn't have a lock on it, they probably won't wait for us to answer the door."

"The older kids will keep them busy," he whispered into her ear.

"What has gotten into you?" she half laughed.

"Well you have, baby," he replied. He kissed her and continued to hold her down.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Let me up."

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I just can't keep my hands off of you."

"Well I guess I'm flattered," she shrugged. "But I just-let me up."

He let her go and she sat up. He backed away at first but as she stood up he stood up behind her and put his hands on her hips. She turned slightly toward him. Unexpectedly he pulled her toward him so she was facing him. She gasped slightly and he captured her mouth in his. She pushed back at him, which only seemed to make him tighten his grip again.

"Sawyer," she mumbled, trying to speak through the kiss. "What the hell are you doing?"

She finally pushed back at him and got away. He sat down on the bed and stared up at her, almost looking as if she hurt him. She shook her head and started getting dressed. He continued to sit on the bed and watch her get dressed. Kate noticed that he was watching her almost intrigued. She stood up and walked toward him.

"What is going on with you?" she whispered. She put one leg on either side of him and looked at him seriously.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I don't know what's wrong with me..I just can't stop touching you or looking at you."

He rested his hands on the small of her back and she sighed softly and kissed him gently. He moved his hands downward so they were resting just above her butt. She moved his hands away, and he quickly put them back.

"Stop," she said. She moved his hands away again, and again he put them back. She scoffed at him and got off of his legs.

"Ok," he sighed. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry ok?"

"I'm gonna go check on the kids," she stated, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Wait," he said, taking her gently by the wrist and pulling her back onto his lap. He kissed her agonizingly slowly. She kissed him back and when they pulled apart Kate took a deep breath. She kissed him again and pushed him down on the bed, continuing to cover him with kisses. He rested one hand on her neck and the other on her hip. She rolled over and pulled him on top of her.

"Mommy!" Monica exclaimed beginning to pound on the door. The door knob turned and Sawyer stood up. Monica ran into the room, quickly followed by Lucy. Sawyer rolled his eyes and sighed softly. Monica clung on to Sawyer's leg. Lucy crawled up onto the bed and jumped onto Kate. She groaned softly and hugged her.

"Hi baby," she said. "What's up?"

"I hungry mama," Lucy answered.

"Ok," Kate stated standing up.

"Oh no you don't," Sawyer said. "Why don't you ask Clem and Katie to get you some breakfast?"

"All gone!" Monica exclaimed.

"What do you mean all gone?" Kate asked.

"Wimmin'!" Lucy answered.

Kate got up and left the room quickly. She came back holding a piece of paper and looking very angry.

"Dear mom and dad," she began with a sigh. "We were bored so we went to the beach for the day. Don't worry because Matty, and J.C. came with us. We brought lunch too...we will be back later. Love Clem and Katie-I'm gonna kill them. We're gonna be down to two kids."

"Ok," Sawyer replied. "Don't panic. We'll figure everything out ok. We'll go find them."

Kate and Sawyer walked quickly over to Jack and Juliet's house. Each of them had a twin on their hip. When they got there Kate nearly dropped Lucy, she was so angry. She pounded on the door and let herself in before she got an answer.

"Auntie Katie!" Alex exclaimed running at full speed toward her. Kate couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. She picked him up and they walked further into the house.

"Where's your mommy and daddy?" Kate asked.

"We're here Kate," Jack stated coming out and looking upset. Kate hadn't seen much of him in the two weeks that they had been there.

"Are you ok?" she questioned.

"Not really," he shook his head. "I just don't understand it...we love each other so much, but she won't come back-she doesn't want to leave here."

"Um-did you give my kids permission to go to the beach?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Jack!" she yelled. "What the hell are you thinking? They're just kids! What if something happens to them!"

"What's going to happen?" he asked. "It's not like they're gonna get kidnapped or something."

"No," Kate began. "But they might get eaten by that monster thing that almost killed us...or what about animals that could be in the jungle? Dammit Jack!"

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "It's alright. We'll go find them."

"Can the girls stay here?" Kate asked, annoyed and with her arms crossed.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Sure."

Kate left the house quickly. Sawyer shrugged at Jack, and shook his head.

"Thanks a lot Jack," he sighed. "Kate was in a pretty damn good mood until now."

"The kids are fine," he replied. "What could happen?"


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

Sawyer ran after Kate who had already made it to where the village and the jungle came together. He grabbed her by the arm to let her know that he was there. She jerked her arm away from him but kept at his speed.

"They could already be dead," she sighed. "And you don't care."

"Oh Kate that is such crap," he scoffed. "Come on. I'm here ain't I. We're gonna make it to the beach and we're gonna wait while the kids swim or whatever. The kids are all good swimmers Kate...I'm sure they're fine."

"What if that damn monster thing got them? I didn't ever see it but it sounded huge and it was knocking down trees!"

"Look," he said pulling out a gun.

"Where did you get that?" she asked.

"It was in the Shephard's house...I stole it...I thought maybe it would come in handy," he smirked.

"You're so sexy," she smiled back. "I don't know what this damn island is doing to us, but I think that I like it."

"Well when we get back home tonight...we can have the entire night together," he murmured, walking closer to her and putting his arm around her waist.

Kate heard it first. The low metallic grumble. Her eyes went wide and she began to run. Sawyer ran after her, not really understanding what was happening.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed.

"Shut up and run Sawyer!" she yelled back. They ran all the way back to the beach. Kate held her stomach as they made it to the beach. She looked up quickly when she heard screaming. The kids were all in the water. Katie had just gotten knocked over by a particularly huge wave. She had screamed when she resurfaced. The other kids were laughing. Kate jumped onto Clementine and dunked her under the water. Clementine didn't look happy when she came up either. Now just the 2 boys were laughing. Clementine and Katie looked at each other and then to the boys. The boys looked at each other and then started running. Katie and Clementine tackled the boys to the ground. Kate sighed when she realized they were all ok.

"See Kate, they're fine."

She took another breath and leaned against Sawyer. They walked toward the water. Matty saw them first and ran toward Kate. He went to hug her and she backed away.

"Don't even think about it," she smirked.

"Aw mom," he grumbled.

"Go on," Sawyer said giving him a soft push back toward the water. "Mom doesn't want to get wet."

Sawyer looked at Kate and put an arm around her.

"Maybe we should bring Monica and Lucy to the beach tomorrow," he offered. "I mean they're probably gonna be pretty pissed that they missed this."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Maybe we could...you know it's weird...I can't stop thinking about that kiss."

"What kiss?" he asked.

"The one you gave me back in the bedroom," she answered. "I mean-we've had hot kisses before, but I think that one took the cake."

"You weren't so bad yourself Mrs. Ford," he chuckled, pulling her closer to him.

"Part of me wishes that the kids weren't here," she whispered. She looked at him and then looked back into the water. He started pushing her toward the water.

"Don't," she said with a smile on her face.

"Come on Freckles," he replied. He picked her up and started walking into the water.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Don't Sawyer...don't you dare!"

"Ok," he said. He turned around and started walking back out. Then he saw the particularly large wave that he didn't want to go to waste. He threw Kate into the wave. She resurfaced and took a deep breath.

"Sawyer!" she yelled. She ran toward him and grabbed him around the neck to force him down.

They played around in the water with their clothes on for a while. The kids were all playing too. After about an hour they all started back to the village. On they way back Kate and Sawyer were walking just ahead of the kids.

"I kinda wish that the kids hadn't been there too," he whispered. "We could have had some real fun."

"Sawyer," she sighed softly. "Is that all you ever think about?"

"It's all I've been able to think about for the past 2 days Freckles," he answered. "I don't know why...and I get it...but I am gonna take any opportunity I can to seduce you."

"Well oddly enough you're not gonna have to try very hard," she answered.

"Well that's good to know," he smirked. "God...just talking about it is-"

"Don't finish that sentence," she whispered. "I think the kids can still hear us."

"Yeah," Clementine sighed. "We can."

She pushed in front of them and scoffed loudly. Kate turned a dark shade of red but kept her same pace of walking. When they arrived back at the village they heard giggling. Kate knew that it was the girls. When they came through the clearing they saw Jack playing with the girls on the large lawn. Alex was watching from the porch looking bored. When Kate came through the cleaing Alex came running toward her. Kate smiled at the little boy and bent down to pick him up.

"Where's your mommy?" she asked. Alex shrugged and ran back to the porch. Kate walked over to Jack and the girls. Monica held her arms up for Kate to pick her up.

"Jack," Kate began. "Can you take care of the kids for a few hours?"

"Hours?" he asked.

"Well I don't know how long-" she started, and then stopped herself. "Please...we'll be back when we're back."

"What the hell have you two been taking?" he asked. "You needed time alone a couple days ago too."

"Well nothing happened a couple nights ago Jack," she replied.

"It did last night," Sawyer whispered into her ear. "A couple times."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed, but was giggling softly. "Please Jack?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Whatever."

Sawyer and Kate started walking away, and back to their house. Clementine and Katie started following them. Kate turned around when she noticed that they were being followed.

"Hey," Kate began. "You girls need to stay here ok? Dad and I need some time alone."

"Haven't you had enough time alone?" Katie scoffed. "We were gonna watch some TV."

"It's a gorgeous day," Sawyer replied.

"Exactly," Clementine argued. "So why aren't you guys spending it outside?"

"Mom and I need some time alone," he responded. "So just stay out here and play with your brother and sisters."

"Fine," they both mumbled.

When Kate and Sawyer got into the house, Kate locked the door eagerly and jumped into Sawyer's arms. He picked her up easily with one arm and they made their way back to the bedroom. Sawyer put Kate down gently on the bed and started kissing down her body on top of her shirt. When he got to her stomach he heard it growling and let out a laugh.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm getting some ice cream," he told her. "It'll be fun."

Kate smirked at him and sat up.

"Ok," she said, still smiling. "Hurry up...go."

He left and came back quickly. He was holding the ice cream and the whipped cream in a can. He didn't have any spoons.

"Where are the spoons?" she asked.

"Don't need them," he shrugged. He opened the container of ice cream and scooped a small amount with his finger. He fed it to her and she licked it off his finger seductively. He took the whipped cream and squirted it on her neck.

"It's cold!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry," he said softly. He ate the whipped cream quickly off her neck and they kissed deeply.

"Hmm," he replied. "I didn't realize that this was strawberry ice cream."

She chuckled softly and they continued to kiss. Sawyer covered Kate in ice cream and whipped cream. The coldness of the ice cream, followed by the heat of his mouth made Kate want him even more. After eating the ice cream off of each other for a good 30 minutes Kate finally got up off the bed.

"Ok," Sawyer smiled. "Now where are _you_ going?"

"Into the shower," she answered. "I'm all sticky. Come on-"

He followed her into the shower and they didn't wait another moment. They both made their way back into the bedroom. They were tired, but still didn't seem to be able to keep their hands off of each other.

Sawyer was almost asleep. Kate was watching him and now she was thinking about being pregnant. She hoped with everything she had that she wouldn't get pregnant again. Not only because she might die, but they already had 5 kids...she didn't really want another one.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Barely," he mumbled.

"What are we gonna do if I end up pregnant," she said. "I mean if we can't keep our hands to ourselves...which I don't really want to stop all this Sawyer-but what if I get pregnant."

"Then we'll deal with it when the time comes darlin'," he stated softly. Kate was thankful for his reassurance. She snuggled into him and they fell asleep...forgetting entirely that it was only 3:00 in the afternoon.

**A/N: Please review!!!**


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter 88**

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer woke up to an empty bed. He got up and headed to the bathroom. When he got there he could hear sobbing. He held his head against the door and listened.

Kate was inside the bathroom. She had just gotten up and felt sick to her stomach. She knew that she was having morning sickness. She didn't want to be pregnant again. After she threw up she stood up and looked in the mirror. She splashed water onto her face and looked up into the mirror again. She felt sick again, but this time it was the just thought of being pregnant...not actually being pregnant. She put her head against the sink and took a deep breath. The thought of having another baby made her want to cry, but the thought of dying made her want to crawl into bed and never get up again. She stood up and sat down on the toilet. She started sobbing, only hoping that it wouldn't wake up Sawyer. The door started opening. Kate quickly wiped her cheeks and forced herself to stop crying. Sawyer walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She didn't want to cry but being held in his arms made her break-down all over again.

"I don't want to die," she choked.

"You're pregnant," he mumbled.

"I don't want to die," she repeated. "I don't want my babies to grow up with out me. I don't know w-I don't want to die James."

"Oh sweetheart," he whispered. "You're not going to die. I promise you...I won't let you die. Juliet won't let you die."

"Mom?" Matty said coming into the bathroom.

"Give us a sec Matt," Sawyer stated, starting to shut the door.

"No," Kate breathed. "It's ok. What's is it Matty?"

"Are you crying?" Matty asked. "What's the matter? Something's wrong. Katie, Clementine! Something's the matter with mommy!"

Kate shook her head and shushed him, but it was too late. Katie and Clementine both ran into the room. Clementine was holding Lucy on her hip and Katie was holding Monica's hand.

"Mom why are you crying?" Katie asked. "What the matter?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to us!" Clementine practically yelled. Lucy jumped slightly. "Mom...what is going on?"

"Nothing," she repeated. "I'm just a little sad. I want to go home. I don't think it's fair that we're stuck here."

"Mom we've been here for over a month...and you're just now upset that we're stuck here?" Katie asked.

"Nothing is going on!" Kate yelled. "Just leave me alone!"

Kate looked at Sawyer for reassurance. She wasn't going to cry, but she was slightly shocked that Kate had yelled at her. Sawyer walked toward Katie and put a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be ok Katie," he whispered. "Mom's just a little sad...just like she said. She'll be ok. Mom and I are gonna go talk to Juliet ok? Can you guys stay here?"

"No!" Matty exclaimed. "Me and Jace wanted to hang out."

"You can hang out," Sawyer chuckled. "I promise. I'll send him over."

"What are you hiding dad?" Clementine frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Clem," he sighed. "I'll talk you you about it later ok?"

"So something is happening?" she asked. "Just talk to us! We're old enough."

"No you're not," he answered quickly. "Just stop. Stop pushing. Mom and I will be home soon."

Sawyer left the room and went over to where Kate was sitting on the couch. He stood over her and waited for her to tell him what to do. She looked up at him and took a deep breath.

"Ok," she sighed. "Let's-um...let's go."

"What do you want to do Freckles?" he whispered.

"Get rid of it," she answered simply. She stood up and pushed past him. She practically ran out the door. Sawyer followed her quickly.

"Wait a second," he said quickly. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"No," she replied. "You're not the one who has to die Sawyer. You don't get to tell me how to do this."

"Ok," he whispered.

"Ok?" she asked with a half sob and turning toward him.

"Kate," he began. "I love you...I will be there for you ok? What ever the decision is...I'll do whatever you want to do ok?"

"Ok," she whispered and nodded. He wiped his hand over her cheek and wiped her tears away.

"But just so you know...if you think that you dying won't affect me...I would be completely devastated darling. I wouldn't be able to live without you."

She leaned against him and breathed deeply again. Sawyer rubbed her back and kissed her on the neck. They both started walking toward the house again. When they got there J.C. and Alex greeted them.

"Is Matty with you?" J.C. asked.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "But why don't you two go on over to out house. We've gotta talk to your mom."

"Mommy's not here," Alex replied.

"She's not?" Kate asked.

"No," Jack sighed appearing in the doorway. "She and Ben are off somewhere. I'm pretty sure...well I think she enjoys spending time with him a little too much."

"Jack," Kate shook her head. "I'm sure that she's just trying to save your family. She's probably just trying to protect you guys."

"Why are you sticking up for her?" he asked.

"I dunno," Kate shrugged.

"She was sleeping with someone," he mumbled. "Do you mind if I stay with you guys tonight?"

"What?" Kate asked. "She was sleeping with someone here?"

"Yeah," Jack said with a fake smile.

**FLASHBACK-LAST NIGHT, The Shephard's house**.

Jack was sitting on the couch reading a book to J.C. and Alex. Juliet was spending a lot of time with Ben and it was beginning to really piss him off. Jack thought that when they were reunited they would go back to being back to what they were. Rather he hoped that nothing would have changed. He knew that it would be impossible since they had been apart for 3 years, but he still had that hope. He was going to talk to her as soon as she returned. As the door opened slowly Jack started standing up.

"Daddy where are you going?" Alex asked.

"Just a minute," he sighed. Juliet walked through the door. She looked somewhat exhausted.

"Hi-" she started.

"We need to talk," he interrupted before she could get her entire greeting out. "Kids stay out here and mom and I will be back in a minute."

"What's wrong dad?" J.C. asked, he looked almost scared. Jack had a very angry look in his eyes. Juliet knew he was pissed.

"It's ok Jace," she said softly. "Daddy and I just need to talk for a minute. But I promise we'll be back really soon. She walked toward Jack and they both went back toward the bedrooms. Juliet sat down on the bed and took a deep breath.

"What is it?" she asked. "You're scaring our children."

"Our children?" he questioned. "They aren't our children anymore Juliet! You haven't been there for 3 years! Jack is almost 8 years old...do you get that? You haven't been there for them! Alex doesn't even know you!"

"You never call him Jack," she whispered.

"No," he shook his head. "I don't. But he is MY son. You don't even know him anymore."

"I know," she said, nodding her head and beginning to cry. "I'm a horrible mom. I just-they threatened to let Rachel die. They told me Rachel's cancer was back and the only way that they would-"

"Rachel never had cancer," he interrupted. "Rachel has been fine!"

Juliet put her hands to her face and began to sob. Jack stood and stared at her with his arms crossed.

"What happened to us?" he asked quietly. "We used to be so in love."

"Well," she sniffled. "A lot happened in 3 years Jack. I'm sure it was hard for you too."

"It was," he nodded.

"Not having someone to hold you at night," she whispered.

"What the hell are you saying?" he asked. "Did you-did you sleep with someone else?"

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I had one comfort while I was here. He meant a lot to me. He was the one person that I could really trust and talk to without feeling like a complete idiot. He protected me."

"Was it him?" Jack asked.

"Who?" she whispered.

"Him!" he yelled. "Ben!"

"No," she said quickly. "No...of course not."

"Of course not?" he scoffed. "You did sleep with someone else though...you're saying 'of course not' like you didn't cheat on me!"

"His name was Goodwin," she whispered. "He died 2 days before you guys came."

"Oh my God," he sighed. "You would still be with him-if he hadn't died...you would have been with him when we came to rescue you!"

Then he did something which he immediately regretted, and which surprised them both. He smacked her hard. She shook her head. Her face stung, but the look on Jack's face was worse.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I missed you Jack. I missed you so much. I just want to get us back!"

"I'm sorry I hit you," he murmured, sitting down on the bed. "I didn't-I'm sorry. I want us back too. But please...just promise me that you didn't sleep with Ben."

"I didn't sleep with Ben," she said shaking her head and taking his face in her hands.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"I'm sorry Jack," Kate whispered.

"So do you know where she is?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Jack furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. "She's at Ben's house...but why do you need to know? What do you need Juliet for?"

Sawyer looked at Kate who looked like a deer in the headlights. She shook her head and let a small breath out.

"No reason," Sawyer shrugged. "Look...Clementine...she needs to talk to her. You know? Girl stuff."

"Oh," Jack nodded. "Yeah...she's at Ben's."

When they got back outside and headed to Ben's house Kate turned toward Sawyer and pulled him into a big hug.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Promise me that we will never be that...we won't turn into Jack and Juliet."

"I promise you Freckles," he said into her ear. "I know you'd never cheat on me anyway, because after having me in your life...no one would even compare."

He succeeded in making her smile widely and nod.

"Well you're definitely right about that one Tex," she chuckled. "Should we do this? I don't know Sawyer."

"Well if you don't know you better not," he replied. "Kate...you're right in that it's your body and it's your life...but this is really-it's irreversible. If you decide 3 days from now that you want to change your mind-"

"I know," she nodded. "But if I don't do this...both me and the baby are gonna die, so it won't matter."

"Yeah," he sighed. "You're right sweetness."

Sawyer and Kate walked up the steps to Ben's house and before they could even knock on the door Ben opened the door and stood in front of them with a smirk that made Kate want to tackle him to the floor and pumble him to a pulp.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford," he smiled. "We've been expecting you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer said through his teeth. Kate held on to Sawyer's hand and squeezed it tightly, almost holding him back from lunging at the shorter man.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered. "Ben...where the hell is Juliet?"

"I'm right here," Juliet said coming over to them. "You are ok sweetie."

"Don't call me sweetie," Kate scoffed. "We need to talk...alone."

"You're pregnant aren't you," she stated.

"Yes," Kate smiled. "Now...I'd like to talk to you in private...please Juliet."

"Yeah," Juliet nodded. "Let's go."

Juliet, Sawyer, and Kate all went outside. Kate looked at Juliet seriously. Sawyer held on to Kate's hand and she dug her finger nails into his hand. He tried not to react, but her finger nails were a hell of a lot longer than they needed to be.

"Sorry," Kate whispered, when she realized Sawyer's hand was contracting. "Juliet...where can we go-"

"Follow me," she said starting to walk into the jungle. Sawyer and Kate jogged slightly to keep up with her.

"Hold it Goldilocks," Sawyer said. "What the hell are you doing?"

"We have a medical facility," she answered. "We're gonna go do an ultra-sound."

"I'm getting rid of it," Kate stated quickly. She was still holding on to Sawyer's hand tightly.

"Kate, are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes!" Kate yelled. "I can't-I can't do this."

**A/N: OK...so Semi-cliff hanger...but obviously there's already one more chapter telling you what's gonna happen**.


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 89**

Kate looked at Sawyer and he nodded and mouthed the words 'it's ok'. They continued the trek into the jungle. When they got to the medical hatch Sawyer could feel Kate's hand slipping from his from the sweat that both of them were generating. Sawyer rearranged his grip and made sure that she knew he was still there. Kate's eyes went wide when she went into the room. Juliet motioned for her to get up on the bed. Juliet started working.

"I'm going to have to do an ultrasound," she told her. "I need to see how far along you are ok? I could do some serious damage if I don't...alright?"

"Whatever," Kate whispered. "Do whatever you need to."

There was a loud whooshing that filled the room. Sawyer could feel Kate's hand getting tighter. He ran his hands over her forehead and squeezed her hand.

"Kate," Juliet began. "When was the last time that you had a period?"

"Why?" Kate asked. "Can't that stupid machine tell you that?"

"Well," she sighed. "Because you're about 9 weeks along. You didn't get pregnant here on the island."

"You're lying!" Kate exclaimed. "You did that stupid blood test. What the hell are you trying to do? Make it so I keep the pregnancy? I had a period the week before we came!"

"Calm down," Juliet whispered. "Let me look again."

Juliet studied the screen again and then looked back at her.

"Kate," she began. "You got pregnant off the island. I've never had a patient come from off the island...we have to do some-"

"Tests?" Kate asked. "No...I don't want to risk it."

"Kate, since you concieved off the island there's a good chance that you'll survive," she answered.

"I'm not gonna be an experiment!" she exclaimed.

"Ok," she whispered. "Alright."

"Sawyer," Kate began. "Please just squeeze my hand and don't look."

"I'm just gonna concentrate on your face darlin'," he said quietly. "Are you sure about this Kate?"

"Stop," she squeaked out. "Don't make this worse. Please."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'm sorry. You're right. I love you, and I'm not going to make you feel guilty sweetpea."

She smiled slightly at the nickname and pulled him toward her. He kissed her softly and they stared at each other in the eyes. Kate's pained face made things hard for Sawyer. He knew that she was hurting physically...but almost dying mentally.

When Juliet was done she cleared her throat and sighed.

"I'm sorry Kate," she said softly. "I'm sorry that you had to come here and-"

"Thank you," she interuppted. "I know it sounds stupid...but thank you for not arguing with me."

"Well," Juliet began. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this...you're gonna want to rest for the rest of the day. I mean it. Bed rest only. Sawyer, keep the kids occupied."

"Juliet," Kate started. "You really might need to talk to Jack. He's-he's really upset. You should really...well I don't know. Try to work things out."

They all walked back to the village. Juliet made them take 3 breaks, which annoyed Kate, but which Sawyer fully agreed with. When they got back into the house Sawyer put Kate in bed. He laid down behind her and she started crying. He didn't move or try to comfort her. He was feeling like shit, and he knew that Kate was feeling 10 times as worse. He just put an arm around her and held her. The kids were all still at the Shephard's and Juliet told them that she would keep them there, and not tell them anything.

Kate cried for almost 40 minutes straight. Sawyer choked back a few tears himself, but didn't let any of them fall. He just held his wife and hoped that they could make it through this just like they had made it through everything else in life. They had been together for 13 years. They had 5 wonderful kids. They had lost one, but he wasn't forgotten and would never be forgotten. Sawyer thought about what the baby might have looked like. Would it have looked like Kate? All of their kids looked like both of them. Clementine looked almost exactly like Sawyer...but she took on Kate's personality. Fiesty but sweet when she wanted to be. The only thing that Clementine had of Cassidy's was her smile. Katie had brown hair, and green eyes. She was born with Sawyer's blue eyes, but they had turned a brilliant shade of green over the years. She had dimples and a smile that always reminded Kate of Sawyer. Matty had brown hair too, but it was straight instead of curly like Katie and Kate's. He still had blue eyes and he definitely had his fathers personality. Every time Kate heard him use the southern twang that Sawyer had she would smile. Monica and Lucy...the babies. They had blonde hair, which made Kate happy, and she thinks Sawyer secretly loved it too. However instead of being straight like Matty and Sawyer's it was curly. Almost more curly than Kate's. They had green eyes and they also had Kate's personality.

Kate had finally stopped crying. Sawyer hoped that she was done crying because even though he knew it was killing her...he couldn't stand to watch her in that much pain. She had stopped crying, and then Sawyer heard her rhythmic breathing. She was asleep. He kissed her on her temple and left the room. He went into the kitchen and the tears made their way into his eyes. He tried to breath deeply and wish them away, but nothing seemed to be working. He went outside because he knew that if he stayed he would break something and wake up Kate. He ran down the steps and fell to his knees in the grass. He put his head down and slammed his fist against the ground. It must have been damn hard too because he felt one of his fingers pop. He heard it too. It hurt like a bitch. He looked at his hand and swore softly.

"Daddy!" Monica exclaimed running toward him. She jumped into his arms. When he put his arms around her he slightly bent his finger and let out a soft groan. He would have screamed but he didn't want to scare Monica.

"Dad is mom ok?" Clementine asked walking toward him. She noticed his finger. It wasn't bleeding, but it was already turning a pretty shade of purple, mixed with some green.

"Yeah," he whispered. He discreetly wiped his tears away...praying that Clementine or Monica didn't see him. They didn't...or if they did neither of them said anything. "Mom's just feeling a little sick. She finally got to sleep so we're gonna hang outside today. I don't want you rugrats waking her up."

"Dad rugrats are for babies...and I hate to break this to you but Monica and Lucy aren't even rugrats anymore," Clementine argued.

"Well all of you will always be my little rugrats," he mumbled. "Now lets go see Jack...I think I just broke my damn finger."

Sawyer and the two kids walked back to the house. The rest of the kids were inside. Jack and Juliet were sitting together looking normal for the first time since they had been back to the island.

"Jack, can you look at my finger?" Sawyer asked...hoping that Juliet had kept her mouth shut to Jack too.

**A/N: I know I'm a horrid person. You're gonna kill me...haha. I have 11 more chapters! Yay! OK well not exactly yay because I'll miss writing this...but it'll have to end eventually. But after I do the 100th chapter I might might do an epilogue if I get a ton of reviews and people telling me to. :) I hope you enjoyed (well not enjoyed b/c who could enjoy something so sad and horrible), but I hope you liked it and I hope you will review!**


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 90!**

When Sawyer saw that Jack and Juliet seemed to be friends again it made him somewhat nervous.

"So Kate's got the flu?" Jack asked. "Does she need me to come take a look at her?"

"She's fine doc," Sawyer mumbled. "She's sleepin'...and if you go over there you're just gonna wake her up and I'm not gonna be happy. My finger is killin' me...can you look at it?"

"You want me to look at your finger?" Jack questioned.

"Well yeah," he sighed. "I just-please?"

Sawyer didn't finish his sentence, but just held out his hand for Jack to examine. Jack let out a short breath and looked at Sawyer's finger. As he looked at it he shook his head.

"What did you do?"

"Is it bad?" he asked. "It's bad isn't it?"

"No," he chuckled and shook his head. "You'll be fine. Lemme just tape it. It just looks like a bad sprain. So...what'd you do?"

"Dad," Katie whispered. "I gotta talk to you alone."

Katie and Sawyer went into the bathroom and Katie looked at Sawyer with her eyes wide. He stood in front of her and raised his eyebrows waiting for her to say something.

"Dad," she started. "I only have 3 pills left."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, truly not even knowing what she was referring to.

"Well you know that little problem I have," she whispered. "With my heart?"

"Oh my God," he said quickly. "You're out of pills?"

"No," she shook her head. "I have 3 left...But I'm supposed to take it twice a day."

Sawyer quickly pushed past her and ran out the door before Jack or Juliet could ask him what was going on. He went to Ben's house and opened the door so fast and hard that it broke in 3 places.

"Ben!" he yelled. "Where are you, you little bug eyed bastard!"

"I'm right here James," Ben said appearing.

"You're going to let us off the island now!" he exclaimed. "My daughter is going to die if she doesn't leave."

"You're daughter is going to be just fine," he replied. "I know of her heart condition, but on this island no one ever dies."

"Oh yeah," Sawyer scoffed crossing his arms. "What about your friend Goodwin?"

"Well your daught-" he began.

"Stop!" Sawyer screamed. "Let us the hell off this island."

Sawyer lunged at him and tackled him to the floor. He held him down by the neck. Ben actually looked scared. He nodded and took a deep breath.

"Ok," he whispered. "Ok. You weren't supposed to be here anyway."

"Let us all go," Sawyer sneered. "Even Juliet. She gave you three years of her life. She didn't get to see her kids grow up-"

"They still have some years left," Ben interrupted.

"Shut up!" he yelled. "If you don't let her go, you're going to regret it."

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Ben asked.

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not a murderer."

"That's not what that poor innocent man in the alley behind the bar you worked at thinks...and what about Wayne Jansen? Or Anthony Cooper."

"Shut up!" he punched Ben hard in the nose, and stood up. "We're leaving tonight."

"You, and your kids, and Jack and his kids can leave...but Juliet is going to have to stay."

* * *

While they were all sitting in the submarine Jack could tell there was something else wrong with Kate other than just the flu. She was holding Lucy on her lap. Sawyer was holding Monica and with one arm around Kate, rubbing her shoulder.

"I can't believe it," Kate whispered. "We're going home...and now all that was for nothing."

"Kate," Sawyer started. "What if we hadn't gotten off the island?"

"I know," she nodded. "And I didn't want another baby whatsoever, but it still hurts."

"I know," he whispered. "To tell you the truth Freckles, I don't think we could handle another baby right now."

They were going back home. They had been on the submarine for 20 minutes and Kate was feeling sick. Sawyer told the twins to go sit with the other kids while he took care of Kate. He helped her into the bathroom and she threw up. When they got out of the bathroom Jack was standing in front of them.

"Back off Jack," Sawyer said quickly. "Leave Kate alone. She's just not feeling well."

"Kate, this isn't flu like symptoms," Jack shook his head.

"Really?" Sawyer asked. "I thought that going into the bathroom to throw up was very flu-like. Leave her alone Jack!"

Sawyer took Kate by the hand and walked her back to their seats. They sat down and she looked at him somewhat greatful.

"Thank you," she stated, closing her eyes.

"Come 'ere darlin'," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around her head and hugged her tightly. She lowered herself onto his lap and rested her head on his legs. He ran his hands through her hair. Katie walked over to Sawyer with a large smile and sat down.

"Thanks dad," she said.

"For what baby?" he asked, looking at her and tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"For taking care of me," she chuckled. "For loving me enough to get us off the island."

"Well you know damn well I wasn't going to let you run out of meds and die," he replied.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I did."

She pulled her pill box out of her pocket and handed it to him. He shook it and opened it. She had almost another months left of medicine. He opened his mouth in awe and shook his head.

"Why the hell didn't we think of this sooner?" he asked with a scoff. "Damn where'd you get so smart Katydid."

"From you dad," she answered with a smile.

"Well I'm flattered," he said kissing her on the nose.

"Dad?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"You need a breath mint."

**2 Weeks Later**

When they got home the Ford's were closer than ever. They all were glad to be back. Katie and Clementine spent a lot of time at home, but also a lot of time at the Pace's. Kate knew that Katie still had a crush on Aaron. Clementine was completely over him and she had a new interest in one of her classes. Alex and J.C. came over almost every day to get away from Jack.

Jack had gotten back into his depression and it was worse than before. He got drunk most nights and got into drugs. Kate didn't want the kids to have to see that so most nights she would go over and make sure that the kids were ok. Most of the time she would take them back to their house.

Kate was up in the bathroom. She had thrown up for the 4th time that week. She didn't feel sick...it was still morning sickness. She went to the drug store by herself. Sawyer had gotten another new job since Juliet had still not come back and he didn't really have anyone to assist. The kids all stayed at home since Kate was only going to be gone for 15 minutes. She walked down the pregnancy test aisle and looked at all the choices. There was a lot more choices now than there was over 12 years ago when she was pregnant with Katie. She picked up a box and examined it. She carried it up to the counter carefully and placed it on the counter. She saw Jack and quickly paid. She didn't want him to see the test. She put it in her purse and looked over at Jack.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hi," he smiled back. "How are you? What are you doing here?"

"We needed some drugs," Kate whispered meekly. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed some whiskey," he shrugged.

"The kids are at my house," she told him. "I'm gonna keep them for the night."

"No," he shook his head. "Keep them for good. Kate, I'm not a good dad right now. I need to go back and try to get Juliet back. We need to go back."

"We?" she asked. "I'm never going back there Jack. Never."

She walked away from him and drove home quickly. When she got there she saw Sawyer's car in the driveway. She wasn't going to necessarily try to hide the pregnancy from Sawyer, but she kind of wanted to do the test before he got home. When she went into the house she was greeted by some of the kids and Sawyer.

"Sawyer, we need to talk," she mumbled. They went upstairs and Kate went into the bathroom with her purse. She took the pregnancy test out and sat down on the toilet.

"You're pregnant?" he asked. "But we haven't had sex since-"

"I know," she nodded. "I don't think she did it."

"But-you're face-you-how can you not-she did it," he stuttered.

"I know," she shrugged. "I don't know how she did it. But I don't think that she did it. I really don't know how the hell it happened, but I think I'm still pregnant."

Kate took the test and looked at it.

"What's it say?" he asked.

"Nothing yet Sawyer," she sighed. "We've taken how many pregnancy tests? It's not immediate...you know that."

"I know, but it's been a while I just thought maybe they had changed by now," he stated, trying to make her smile, but not succeeding.

"It's ready," she breathed. She looked at it. The look on her face didn't tell Sawyer what the answer was.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Negative," she whispered. "It's-it's negative."

She looked like she was about to cry. He stepped toward her and squatted in front of her.

"Freckles," he started. "Did you want to be pregnant?"

"No," she answered quickly. "But now-I had an abortion...and it's my fault that we're not having another baby. And now that we're off the island-I could have lived..and so could the baby."

"I know," he nodded. "But sweetheart...I don't know if this is the right thing to say or not...but we already have 5 kids...technically 7 since we've got Jace-face and Alexis."

"He hates when you call him Alexis," she chuckled.

"I know," he nodded. "But hey...I couldn't think of a better nickname."

"Why does he need one?" Kate asked.

"Because," he shrugged. "You know he'd feel left out if he didn't have one. I think he secretly likes it when I call him Alexis...besides that Alexis can be a boys name...I had a friend who's dad's name was Alexis."

"I guess you're right," she sighed. "Anyway...I'm just mad at myself. I never should have gotten an abortion. I just don't get why I'm not having a period, or why I've been throwing up every morning."

"Maybe because you thought you were pregnant...maybe it was mental."

"Maybe," she whispered. "I'm gonna go downstairs and be with the kids...let Jace and Alex know what's goin' on."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll be down in just a minute."

When she went went downstairs J.C. and Alex were already on the steps waiting. They both knew that they were probably going to be spending the night again. Alex held his arms up for Kate to pick him up.

"Hey bud," she whispered.

"Where's daddy?" he asked.

"Daddy's ok," she told him. "But you guys are gonna have a sleep over here tonight. Won't that be fun?"

Neither child looked very excited, but Kate hoped they'd be able to get over it and sleep ok tonight.

"But we sleep here every night Kate," J.C. sighed.

"I know hon," she shook her head. "I'm so sorry. Your dad...he's just-he needs some time. He misses your mom."

"I miss her too!" he exclaimed. He ran up the stairs and Kate heard a door slam. She closed her eyes and Alex looked up. His eyes were wet. He wasn't crying quite yet, but he was on the verge. She bent down and picked him up.

"It's gonna be ok Alex," she replied. "I promise you."

"Is momma coming home soon?" he asked.

"Probably not sweetie," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

Back up stairs, when Kate had left the bathroom Sawyer looked back at the pregnancy test which was in the trash. He definitely didn't want another kid...but seeing that she wasn't pregnant was almost like losing the baby all over again. He sighed softly and sat down on the side of the bath tub. He looked down one more time at the pregnancy test. The small blue minus sign no longer looked like a minus sign. It was definitely a plus sign. He picked it up and looked at it closer. Yep...plus. He heard a door slam. It made him jump slightly, but then he ran out into the hall.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. Kate looked up the stairs at Sawyer and wrinkled her eyebrows.

"What?" she asked.

"We need to talk right now," he told her. "Come up here please."

"What?" she scoffed. "Can't you just-"

"It has to do with this," he said holding up the pregnancy test. She set Alex down and stomped up the stairs. She pushed him into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked.

"It's positive Kate," he replied, still holding on to the pregnancy test. "Look. The damn thing. The minus turned into a plus."

"What?" she asked quickly. She walked toward him and snatched the test away from him. She looked at it curiously. "No...no-no. This-this can't be right. I need to-I need another one. But I can't go back there tonight."

"I'll go," he whispered. "It'll be ok Kate."

"No it won't!" she screamed. "Nothing will be ok! If I'm pregnant, and if I'm not pregnant...neither will be ok!"

"Shh," he said softly.

"Stop!" she yelled. She went into their own bathroom and slammed the door. He stood up and brushed his hands on his pants.

"I'll be back in 10 minutes," he said loud enough for her to hear through the door, but not yelling at her. He went down the stairs and bumped into Matty on the way.

"Can I go with you dad?" he asked. "If you're going somewhere?"

"No," he shook his head. "Not this time Matty. But next time I promise."

"Are you going to see Shannon?"

"No," he chuckled. "I haven't seen Shannon in years. I'll be back though. Take care of the place will ya?"

"Am I the man of the house when you're gone?" he asked.

"Technically," Sawyer smiled. "You gotta take care of all your sisters...but since Katie and Clem are older, you gotta listen to them."

"Ok," he grumbled.

Sawyer went into the drug store feeling a little uneasy. Every time that Kate had been pregnant before she had bought the damn test. He didn't know what kind she wanted or anything. He walked over to the wall. There were too many damn choices. He thought he remembered what the box of the previous one looked like. He decided that he would buy two just in case. When he got up to the counter there was a young but pretty girl at the cash register. She looked like she was probably in high school. There was another girl behind the counter that was whispering and smiling widely. When Sawyer put the two pregnancy tests down on the counter he stared at the girls, who weren't moving fast enough for him.

"Are you buying this for your girlfriend?" the one girl asked.

"No," he shook his head. "It's for me...I think I'm pregnant with triplets this time...Just give me the damn things."

Both the girls let out giggles, which normally would have made Sawyer smile and make his mind at ease, but it was just pissing him off tonight.

"That's really sweet of you," the second girl replied. "She's probably embarrassed huh?"

"Actually we already have 5 kids, and she was already in here once before tonight...that's the reason why. Now how much to I owe you?"

"32.50," she answered, her cheeks turning pink. He handed her the money and left without getting his change. He drove back to the house and hoped that there was no other problems when he went inside. He opened the door carefully and heard complete silence. He walked into the living room and saw all of the kids sitting quietly watching TV.

"You guys actually agreed on something to watch?" Sawyer asked.

"Mom got mad," Katie answered. "She yelled at us...told us that if we didn't shut up we were going to regret it. So we were kinda scared. We know she'd never hurt us, but-we decided to listen to her."

"That was probably a good idea," he smiled. "I'll be back down in just a sec ok?"

Sawyer went into the bedroom and saw Kate sitting on the bed waiting for him. She stood up when he walked through the door.

"I got two," he told her handing her the plastic bag.

"Thanks," she smiled. She went into the bathroom and he followed. She didn't look at him when she took the first one. They both read the directions a couple times, making sure that they were waiting the right amount of time. 2 and a half minutes. The first one was positive. Kate looked at Sawyer and he handed her the second one. She smiled and forced away a chuckle. When she took the second one, they both went into the bedroom to wait. It was also positive. Kate waited for Sawyer to tell her what to do.

"We'll get through this Freckles," he whispered. "As long as we do this together. I can't lose you."

"You won't," she shook her head. "I could never leave you or our kids."

"Ok," he nodded. She hugged him tighter and sighed softly.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!**


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 91**

The next day Kate made an appointment to go to the doctor. It wasn't going to be for 3 days which made her really nervous. She wanted to know what was going on. She wanted to know if the baby was ok. And she wanted to know what was really happening. The kids were all at school with the exception of Monica, Lucy and Alex. Kate loved the Shephard children. They were like her nephews. But she hated that she felt more like their mother. She wanted Jack back...and she definitely wanted Juliet back. There was a heavy knock at the door. Kate cleared her throat and told whoever it was to come in.

"I could have been a mass murderer Kate," Jack said making his way into the house.

"Well, it's a good thing you're not," she smiled. He didn't smile back. Alex was taking a nap on the couch next to Kate. She was running her hand across his back to soothe him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Taking care of your kid," she answered. She stood up and walked toward Jack. "Jack...I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant again. I'm gonna have another damn baby. And I can't take care of 8 kids all by myself...I mean Sawyer helps, but he also works a lot"

"8?" he asked.

"Your 2, plus my 6," she responded. "I can't-I need you to take care of your kids. Get healthy. Get off the damn drugs and stop drinking and take damn responsibility."

"We have to go back Kate," he said nearly sobbing. "We weren't supposed to leave."

"Yes we were Jack," she stated. "Our kids weren't supposed to grow up there. It's a terrible place."

"I'm going back," he told her.

"Why?" she asked. "Why would you even think about going back there?"

"To get my wife," he replied. "I need her back Kate. She's everything to me."

"What about your kids?" she questioned. "Aren't they your everything?"

"Of course," he sighed. "And I've really missed them, but I'm going back there to get their mom back."

"Fine," she nodded. "Go back...but you might want to take them with you because what if you make it back and he doesn't let you go again? Then you'd never see the kids again. Do you want that?"

"No I don't want that," he shook his head. "But didn't you just say that it's a horrible place to grow up? Say I do get stuck there Kate...I don't want my kids growing up in a place like that either."

"Would you rather you get stuck there and never see them again? I'm mean I don't want the kids to have to live on that damn island," Kate sighed. "But..your kids need you Jack. They miss you."

"Daddy!" Alex exclaimed. He ran toward Jack and jumped up into his arms. He closed his eyes and hugged Alex tightly.

"I'm sorry buddy," he whispered. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here. But we're gonna go get mommy back ok?"

"Momma!" Monica sobbed walking over to Kate. Kate picked her up and put her on her hip.

"What's the matter honey?" she asked.

"I hurted my head," she answered. Kate sighed and switched Monica to the other hip.

"You're ok," Kate said quietly. "I don't see any mark."

"It hurts!" she yelled.

"Mommy!" Lucy exclaimed. "Come play!"

"Just a sec Luce," she sighed.

"No now!" she stated, pulling on Kate's leg.

"Kate," Jack began. "Is this how it is every day?"

"Essentially," she responded. "The only quiet time I get is N-A-P time."

"No nap!" Monica exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Kate," he shook his head. "My kids are my responsibility. I shouldn't have-you don't deserve to have my kids just thrown on you."

"Jack," she started. "I love your kids. Alex and J.C. are amazing. But they do miss their dad. And I have a lot going on now. And yeah, as the kids have gotten older it's a little easier because they're not here all the time...but it's hard."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry. I'll take Alex right now."

Jack took both the kids that night. He promised that he would get sober...but he was going back to the island. Kate felt bad for Alex and J.C. but she wanted the family to be back together. She felt the worse for Juliet. She knew that Juliet had to miss the kids more than anything else. Kate came out of her daze when she heard the yelling.

"Shut up Clementine!" Katie yelled.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Clementine continued. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Aaron with a baby carriage."

"Mom!" Katie said loudly. "Clementine won't leave me alone!"

"Leave mom out of this," Clementine scoffed. "She doesn't care...she probably would say the same thing."

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"Clementine won't leave me alone," Katie repeated. "She keeps calling Aaron my boyfriend. I told her in secret that I like Aaron, and she's now making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun," Clementine answered. "I think it's kinda cute. You guys are way better together, than me and him."

Kate stood up and went to the medicine cabinet that was in the kitchen. She took out the bottle of Tylenol. She took 2 pills and then sat down at the table.

"Way to go Katie, you gave mom a headache," Clementine said.

"Nuh uh," Katie argued. "You're the one singing that dumb song!"

"Shut up!" Clementine almost yelled.

Kate sighed deeply and walked up the stairs without saying anything to either of the kids. She walked past Matty's room and he was groaning. She knocked softly on his door and let herself in the room.

"What's up Matt?" she asked. "You ok?"

"No," he replied. "I'm dumb."

"Matthew Ford you are not dumb," she said walking toward him.

"I don't know how to do stupid math," he frowned. "It's way too hard."

"Whatcha got," she stated putting an arm around him and looking at his math book.

"Stupid dividing," he said.

"Ok," Kate nodded. "I'll help you. It's ok. Show me the problem."

He sighed and handed her the book. She helped him do the rest of the problems with no more issues. He yelled at her a couple times, but when she told him that she wasn't going to help him anymore he straightened out and apologized. Then Kate went back downstairs to start making dinner. The kids kept asking when dinner was going to be ready. Kate kept her cool for the most part and didn't raise her voice. She was waiting for Sawyer to get home and sitting at the table.

"Mom is dinner ready yet?" Katie asked. "I'm starving!"

"It'll be ready in 10 minutes," Kate said quietly. "But we're gonna wait for your father to get home from work and we're gonna eat as a family."

"But I'm hungry!" Katie yelled.

"Katie shut up," Kate sighed. "Look...I'm sorry. But I'm stressed and you keep asking me when dinner is gonna be ready isn't helping me."

"Sorry," she whispered. She left the table and walked over to where Clementine was sitting on the couch. Clementine grinned widely, knowing that Katie was about to cry.

"Don't cry," Clementine said. "It'll only make mom happier."

Kate sighed deeply and started walking toward the two girls. Lucy walked in front of her and she stepped on her and tripped. Lucy started screaming and crying. Kate sighed and held Lucy on her lap.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Are you ok?"

"No!" Lucy sobbed. "My leg! My leg hurts!"

Kate sighed and looked at her leg. It didn't look like there was anything wrong with it. She continued to hold Lucy who continued to sob and cry. She stood up and carried Lucy over to the couch.

"Katie, I'm sorry," Kate sighed. "You've all just been really bugging me today. More than usual."

"Well Jace and Alex aren't here bugging you...you kicked them out," Katie scoffed.

"Katie, that's not what I meant," she shook her head. "I love Alex and J.C. You know that. I just get kind of-"

"Mom, are you pregnant?" Clementine asked.

"What?" she asked.

"You always get all extra stressed and annoyed," she replied. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes," Kate mumbled.

"God!" Katie exclaimed. "Can't you two like not...why do we have to have another damn baby around here!"

"Believe me," Kate sighed. "It wasn't planned. I didn't want this girls. I just-now that I'm pregnant there's not much else I can do."

"I'm so sick of this stupid family!" Katie yelled. "You just got rid of J.C. and Alex and another baby is-this sucks!"

She ran up the stairs and shut the door. Kate took a deep breath and shook her head. She felt like crying. Did Katie really hate living here? She looked over at Clementine who looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry mom," she shook her head. "Katie's being a brat. I think it's cool that you're having another baby. I'll be in 8th grade by the time the baby's born. I can help you."

"Thanks Clem," Kate smiled.

Sawyer came home a few minutes later. He saw that Kate and Clementine were sitting on the couch talking. He thought maybe that something was wrong. He walked over to Kate and knelt in front of her.

"Is everything alright," he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Katie and Clementine know. Katie's not happy."

"Well it's not for Katie to say anything," he replied. "You already almost lost the damn baby...Katie can get the hell over it."

"Ok," Kate whispered. "Let's go eat. Can you go get the other kids."

When Sawyer came back down he was carrying Lucy and Monica both. Matty and Katie were walking behind them. Katie looked like she had just finished crying.

They all sat down at the table and no one said anything. Dinner was eaten in complete silence. Even Monica and Lucy knew that something was wrong and they shouldn't say anything.

After dinner Sawyer and Kate were sitting on the couch by themselves. The kids were all upstairs either playing or doing homework. Kate was playing with her wedding ring. She took it off and looked at the inscription.

"You are 'forever my freckles'," he said. She put her head against his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"I can't believe that we've been together for 12 years," she smiled. "Clementine is gonna be in 8th grade."

"You're dead!" Katie screamed. They both heard yelling and stomping down the stairs. Katie was chasing Matty and yelling at him. Clementine was chasing him too. They cornered him and he jumped onto Kate's lap.

"Do you remember when they were cute?" Kate asked.

"No," Sawyer raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Me neither."

"Hey!" all three kids chimed in.

"If we hear you guys fighting anymore tonight you're all going to be grounded. No TV and no friends for a week."

"Ok, we'll be good," Clementine said quickly. "Right guys?"

The three kids went back up the stairs. Kate shook her head and put her hands to her stomach.

"I don't know how we're gonna deal with another one Sawyer," she whispered.

"Well," he began. "I guess I'll just have to quit my job so we can have 2 parents at all times."

"I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday," she told him.

"Ok," he replied. "I'll get the day off so I can go with ya."

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "I've gone through how many pregnancies? I think I can go alone. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "But thanks."

**2 Days Later**

Kate dropped Monica and Lucy off at Claire's house so she could go to the doctor. She was in the waiting room. There were a few other women in the room. Kate should have felt ok, and not nervous about it since she had done this so many times before, but it was weird. She shouldn't even be pregnant right now. She did the unthinkable. She wasn't mad at Juliet, she just didn't know what the hell happened.

"Katherine Ford?" the nurse said. Kate stood up and went with the woman. She looked like she was about 18. Kate sat up on the bed and waited for further instruction.

"How are you feeling today?" the nurse asked.

"I'm good," Kate nodded.

"Any morning sickness?" she asked.

"Not today," she answered.

"Ok...well the doctor will be in, in just a minute. We'll figure out how many weeks along you are. Do you have any idea?"

"Not really," Kate shrugged. "I would guess about 2 months. But I'm not sure."

"Ok," she nodded. "The doctor will be right in."

When the doctor arrived, they had the normal talk about how things have been going. Kate laid back and got ready for the ultrasound. When there was no sound coming out of the machine Kate's heart began to pound. Then the doctor reached over and turned the sound up. Kate let out a deep breath as she heard the sound of the heart.

"Kate," the doctor began. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Ok," the doctor sighed softly. "Is your husband here?"

"No," she shook her head. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," she closed her eyes and wiped Kate's stomach off. "There is-there's a hole in the amniotic sac.

"What?" Kate asked. She felt like she really didn't hear what the doctor said.

"There's no way that you're going to be able to carry this baby to term," the doctor answered. "Do you need to call someone? Do you have a friend or can your husband come pick you up after the procedure?"

"What procedure?" she asked. "What the hell is going on? What are you talking about?"

"Did you hear me Kate?" she asked. "You can't carry this baby to term. I'm so sorry. We need to get the baby out of you now or it could kill you."

"No," Kate shook her head. "I already almost lost this baby. No. You can't be serious."

"Kate, I'm so sorry," the doctor said quietly. "I think we have your husband's number for emergencies."

"I know his number!" she yelled. She fumbled in her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She tried to dial Sawyer's number but her fingers seemed to be paralyzed. She finally dialed the number and waited. It rang 3 times which made her somewhat nervous and then finally he picked up.

"Kate?" he asked. "Aren't you supposed-oh my God are you ok? Is the baby ok? Kate answer me."

"I would if you'd give me a chance," she sniffled.

"I'm coming."

Before she could argue the phone went dead. She looked at the doctor and shook her head.

"I'm gonna be sick," Kate whispered. She ran into the bathroom. The doctor looked sympathetically at the door. Kate came back into the room and sat down in the chair.

"Kate can I get you anything?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "A bottle of vodka."

"Aren't you a recovered alcoholic?" she asked.

"It was a joke," Kate answered. It wasn't really a joke, but she didn't expect to get the bottle of alcohol. "But can I have some water?"

"Yeah," the doctor nodded. "Of course. I'll be right back."

Kate had only been waiting for 15 minutes when the door opened and Sawyer ran toward her. He put his hands on her face, and before he could say anything they were interrupted.

"Sir, you can't-" the receptionist started. "Ma'am is this your husband?"

Kate nodded and looked at Sawyer. She had tears in her eyes and her nose was running. Sawyer held Kate in his arms and didn't say anything.

"I'm gonna lose the baby," she whispered.

"Yeah baby," he nodded. "I already figured that out. What happened?"

"There's a hole I guess," she sniffled. "In the amniotic sac. We're gonna do 'the procedure'."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means that the baby isn't going to survive and it's dangerous if I don't get the baby out of me."

"Ok," he whispered. "Alright sweetie. It's going to be fine. I promise you."

"I'm a horrible person," she sobbed. "I'm going to hell. I'm the worst person I know."

"Honey," he shook his head. "You aren't a horrible person. None of this is your fault."

"Yes it is," she nodded. "I prayed for the first time since your damn brain surgery. I prayed last night."

"What'd you pray for?" he asked.

"I prayed for something that is going to help us take care of 6 kids. I wanted a way around having this baby. And now...well I guess I got my wish."

"Kate I know that you didn't want the baby to die," he said. "I can tell because of that look on your face. You've been crying since I got off the phone with you."

"I've lost the same baby twice now."

Sawyer put his hands on her face again and pulled her into a hug. She had stopped crying, but she leaned against him and didn't seem like she was going to let go any time soon.

**A/N: God I suck. haha. I know I'm a terrible person. I hope you guys aren't mad at me. hehe. Anyway...PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**!


	92. Chapter 92

**A/N: Ok now that I've only got 8 more chapters...technically. I'll be doing one chapter a day again**. 

**Chapter 92**

When they got home Sawyer put Kate up in bed. He held her until she fell asleep. Then he went downstairs and started making dinner. When the kids got home they came in the house yelling at each other.

"Hey!" Sawyer exclaimed as quietly as he could.

"What?" Matty asked.

"Mom's sleeping," he answered. "You guys need to all stay down here and you better the hell stay quiet."

"Ok," Matty said.

"Dad can we get a dog?" Katie asked. "I'm the only person I know without a dog."

"Can we talk about it later?" he asked.

"You mean you'll think about it?" she questioned, jumping up and down. "You'll talk to mom about it?"

"Yeah yeah," he mumbled. "But probably not tonight."

"Why not!?" she whined.

"Because she's feeling sick and she's going to be sleeping until I get up there and I'm not waking her up to discuss something as stupid as a dog."

"It's not stupid!" she yelled.

"Shh," he sighed. "Ok. Well it's not important."

"It is to me," she argued. Clementine could tell something was wrong as soon as they came home and Sawyer was making dinner. She knew something happened.

"Shut up Katie," Clementine said. "Dad...I'm gonna go check on mom ok?"

"No," he shook his head. "Just let her sleep ok? Thanks though. You're a good girl Clem."

"And I'm not?" Katie scoffed. "Just because I want a dog. Thanks a lot."

"Katie if you don't shut up then I'm gonna punch you in the face," Clementine said. "Dad what can I do? Do you need help with dinner?"

"Sure," he sighed. "Can you pour some milk?"

"Yeah," she nodded. She walked over to where he was standing and hesitated somewhat before hugging him. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks Clem," he whispered. She got the milk out and poured 5 glasses. "Do you want a water dad?"

"No," he mumbled.

"Mom will though!" Matty exclaimed.

"Mom's still sleeping," Sawyer said. "Don't bug her please."

"Dada!" Lucy said running toward him and clinging on to his leg. "Where mommy?"

"Mommy's taking a nap," he told her. "But go tell your sister that it's dinner time."

"Who?" she asked.

"Moni," he replied with a smile.

"Mon...dinner time!" she exclaimed."

While they were eating Sawyer tried to keep the conversation off of Kate. He talked to the kids about their days. Clementine still insisted that Aaron and Katie would eventually end up together. It was still embarrassing Katie and she started yelling a couple times until Clementine and Sawyer reminded her to stay quiet.

"Hey," Kate said quietly appearing in the doorway.

"Mommy!" Monica exclaimed. "Is you eating!"

"Yeah," she chuckled. She sat down at her normal spot. Clementine was sitting next to her and put her arm around her.

"Kate, you should be in bed," Sawyer stated.

"I know," she nodded. "But I'm hungry. Is that ok with you?"

"Hey," he said putting his hands up in defense. "It's fine. I just don't want you to over-do it."

"Mom are you sick?" Matty asked.

"A little," she nodded. "But I feel better."

Sawyer looked at her somewhat skeptical. "I do Sawyer," Kate replied. "I promise. I feel much better."

That night Kate was laying with her back to Sawyer and his arms around her. She was running her fingers lightly over his arm.

"You're tickling me," he whispered.

"I know," she chuckled softly.

"Katie wants a dog," he told her, somewhat abruptly.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Kate scoffed. "What did you tell her? Please tell me that you didn't say yes."

"I said we'd have to talk about it," he answered defensively. "Look...I know how hard it is with 5 kids Kate...but maybe a dog would be good. I mean every kid should grow up with a dog."

"I didn't," she replied. "And I turned out just fine."

"Well to tell you the truth I didn't either," he replied. "I had one till I had to move in with my grandparents. I got it for my 6th birthday and my grams was allergic to dogs so we had to get rid of it."

"I'm sorry," she said softly. She turned toward him and looked at him seriously. "Ok...we can talk about it. I don't want to tell her for sure though yet. And I refuse to do it alone. If you and the kids don't help me with the damn thing then it's gone."

"Deal," he replied.

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer had taken some time off work to help Kate with the kids. Things were going much smoother at the Ford house. The kids had stopped fighting so much. Jack wasn't home yet from 'rescuing' Juliet. They talked about getting a dog more in depth. Each of the kids wanted a different kind of dog which didn't surprise neither Kate or Sawyer. Kate decided it would be ok as long as it wasn't a puppy. Katie threw a temper tantrum complaining that if they got an older dog it would die right away. Sawyer and Kate then told her that they weren't getting a dog at all then, and she calmed down and agreed that it would be ok. They got a siberian huskey that they named Izzy. Katie loved the dog more than any of them did. Monica and Lucy were somewhat scared of it, but they had started to get used to it.

Kate was upstairs reading a story to Monica and Lucy. They were both drifting to sleep as she read. She was still somewhat upset about what had happened with the pregnancy, but part of her felt ok about it. She had stopped blaming herself, and just figured that she shouldn't have been pregnant in the first place anyway. She didn't want to think about it any more.

"Momma?" Lucy whispered.

"Yes baby," she said looking down at Lucy.

"Love you momma," she stated.

"I love you too," Kate smiled.

"Freckles!" Sawyer exclaimed softly as he poked his head in the room.

"What?" she whispered. "Monica's sleeping."

"Jack's back," he told her. Kate quickly got up out of the bed and ran toward the door. She ran down the stairs and sure enough Jack was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Kate jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Is Juliet with you?" Kate asked. Jack stepped aside and Juliet stepped toward her. The two women hugged. Juliet was smiling and her eyes were glinting with tears.

"Where are the kids?" Kate questioned.

"Playing," she answered pointing at the kids who were reunited. "Hey Alex and J.C. come say hi to your aunt Kate."

Alex and J.C. came running toward them. She bent down and they both hugged her.

"Alex!" she exclaimed. "I think you got bigger."

"Nuh uh," he shook his head.

"Yuh huh," she nodded.

"Did I get taller Kate?" J.C. asked.

"I dunno," Kate said. "Lemme see. Stand up straight."

J.C. stood up straighter and smiled. Juliet was smiling and she walked over to him and put her arms around him.

"Yep," Kate nodded. "Definitely got taller too."

They all went into the living room and sat down. Aaron was over too. The kids were all on the floor trying to teach the dog tricks. Sawyer sat down and pulled Kate on to his lap. She rolled her eyes and got off from his lap.

Lucy and Monica came downstairs to see what all the comotion was. They were supposed to be in bed. They were wearing identical pajamas. Both of their hair was already messed up and needed to be brushed badly. They each ran over to Kate and Sawyer and jumped on them.

"What are you doin' out of bed?" Sawyer asked.

"Loud," Lucy answered.

"Did we wake you up?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," Monica nodded.

"Liar," Kate shook her head. "You weren't sleeping yet. I just left you."

"Story!" Monica exclaimed.

"I didn't finish your story did I?" she asked.

"No," Lucy said shaking her head.

"I'm gonna go read to them," Kate said.

"I wanna stay up!" Monica yelled.

"Please!" Lucy exclaimed.

"Ok," Kate sighed. "You can stay up for a little bit. But you're gonna have to go to bed eventually."

"No!" Monica and Lucy both exclaimed.

"How are the kids doing?" Jack asked. "You know...all 6 of em."

"Well," Kate started. "It's back to being 5."

"Kate," Jack said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"Speaking of that...what the hell did you do to me Juliet?" Kate asked. "I mean-you pretended to give me an abortion? How the hell did that work? I definitely felt it."

"Well I knew that you would regret it," she shook her head. "I'm really sorry. I just-I don't know how you felt it so much because I didn't really do much...it was probably just because you thought I was doing it."

"Well thank you," Kate sighed. "I mean...I know I should be mad at you, but I'm not. I'm glad that I almost had another baby. That means it wasn't my fault that the baby died."

The next day was Sawyer's first day back in 3 weeks. He told Kate that he would be home before the kids got home from school. Kate was sitting on the couch with Lucy and Monica. Neither of them wanted to get off the couch because the dog was laying on the floor in front of Kate.

"No doggy momma," Lucy asked climbing on to her lap and hiding her face in her neck.

"You don't like the doggy?" Kate asked. "But she's such a good doggy. Come here Izzy. Izzy."

The dog stood up and walked toward Kate. Her tail was wagging and she was getting ready to jump up onto the couch.

"No," Kate said. "Stay down there. Here...Lucy pet her."

"No!" Lucy stated. Kate reached out and pet the dog.

"Look," she said softly. "She's so soft and pretty. Go ahead Monica."

Monica reached out and touched the dog. Izzy turned toward her and started licking her face. Monica started laughing and then got off the couch and started playing with the dog.

"Lucy look," Kate stated. Lucy saw Monica playing with the dog and quickly got off of Kate's lap and started playing too. Kate shook her head and took a deep breath.

**4 Years Later**

All the kids were at school. Kate was laying on the couch stretched out. Izzy came running over. She jumped up onto the couch and laid down on Kate's feet.

"Do you mind?" Kate asked. Izzy put her head down on Kate's legs and stared at her. "Hmm...I guess not. Get off the couch Izzy...you're not supposed to be up here."

The dog didn't move from her spot. Kate sighed softly and decided to let it go. She heard the front door open and sat up to see who it was. Sawyer came walking toward her.

"What are you doing home?" she asked sitting up. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. She backed away and took a deep breath of air.

"Whoa," she said with a smile. "What's going on?"

"I came home to be with you Freckles," he told her. "No kids. We can lock the dog out of our room...and I thought this was supposed to be Katie's dog anyway...why doesn't it sleep in her room?"

"Because I'm her momma," she shook her head. "I'm the one who feeds her in the morning. And she likes our bed."

"Well I don't like her on our bed," he mumbled.

"I don't either," she answered. "But what can we do?"

"We can stop talking about the damn dog," he replied kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around him and he picked her up. The dog started following them.

"Hey," Sawyer started, talking through the kiss. "You stay down here."

Izzy looked at him and laid down where she was standing.

"Good dog," he said. He carried Kate up the stairs and they landed on the bed. She started chuckling.

"I'm loving this," she smiled. "The kids are all at school...there's no chance for an interruption."

"Way to go Kate," he said helping her out of her shirt. "Now the phone is gonna ring, or Jack's gonna let himself in the house because of some catastrophe."

"Shh," she stated. "We're not gonna be interrupted."

Clementine was 17. She was a junior in high school. She hd a boyfriend and she went on dates. Sawyer hated it, but Kate said it was perfectly normal. Sawyer continued to remind her that they were 17 when they started having sex too. He hated when Clementine would go to her friends houses for sleep overs because he always insisted that she was probably going to Andrew's house to have sex. Kate always would laugh at him, but he was serious.

Katie was 16. She didn't have her driver's license and hated every minute of it. Clementine always took her wherever she wanted to go so that Kate and Sawyer didn't have to do it. Katie and Aaron were together. On the first day that they got caught kissing Clementine yelling the Kissing song through the house and bragged about being right. Katie for the first time didn't care. She just shut the door to her room and continued kissing Aaron. As soon as the door closed Sawyer re-opened it insisting that when a boy was in her room the door had to stay open.

Matty was 12. He started liking girls too which made both Kate somewhat nervous. She didn't think he was old enough. Sawyer told her that he had started liking girls at 10, which didn't really surprise Kate.

The twins were 6. They were in 1st grade and were still momma's girls. They both always wanted Kate to hold them on her lap. They never wanted to be without her. Each day taking them to school was a hassle. Neither of them would ever get out of the car and Kate had to drag them into the school kicking and screaming. Once they were there with their friends they were ok, but Kate was sick of the tantrums.

Kate and Sawyer were in each other's arms. It was only 1:00 in the afternoon. They still had 2 hours before any of the kids got home. Kate was dozing off. Sawyer shifted and kissed her lips again. She kissed him back and smiled.

"You gonna let me go to sleep?" she asked.

"No way," he answered kissing her again. "I love you Freckles."

"Well I love you too," she responded. "But I also want to get a little bit of sleep before the brood comes back."

"Shh," he said kissing her neck. She let out a breath and chuckled.

They made love again and then both fell asleep. They weren't sleeping for very long when Kate heard giggling coming from outside of the room.

"Shh!" Clementine said loudly. "I think my mom's taking a nap. She never shuts the door in the middle of the day."

"Well if she's sleeping then we can-" Andrew's voice said.

"We're not doing that in my parents house," she laughed. "Especially when my mom is definitely home."

"Who's car was that in the driveway?" he asked.

"Oh," Clementine replied. "I dunno. I didn't notice another car. What car?"

"It was a red Mustang," he replied.

"My dad's," she answered. "Hold on."

She knocked on Kate and Sawyer's door. Kate got out of bed and wrapped her robe around herself. She opened the door.

"Hey mom...why's dad's car here?" Clementine asked.

"Because he's here," Kate answered.

"Oh God!" she scoffed. "Let's go Andrew. I can't be here right now."

"Whoa," Kate began. "Where's Katie?"

"She's at Aaron's...So I'm just going to go to Andrews," she responded. "We'll be back for dinner."

"OK," Kate sighed.

"He lives with his mom...and he's an only child," Clementine replied. "There's no one there to bug us."

"It does get kinda lonely though Clem," he shrugged. "You should feel glad that you have 4 brothers and sisters to play with."

"Yeah," she answered. "I guess. Katie is the only one that I can stand. Matty just thinks he knows everything and Lucy and Moni think they're the princesses of the house."

"Well they are," Sawyer said finally appearing in the doorway.

"Oh, hi Mr. Ford," Andrew stated.

"Drew," Clementine sighed. "Call him Sawyer. He thinks that Mr. Ford makes him sound old."

"Ok...so are we going Clem?" he asked.

"Yes...is that ok mom?" she questioned. "Can Drew come over for dinner?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "That's fine. It's gonna be at 6:30, so don't be late."

"Ok," she sighed. "Fine. We'll be back."

After they left Kate looked back at Sawyer. Sawyer took Kate by the belt of her robe and pulled her toward him. She let out a stiffled chuckle and wrapped her arms around him.

"So we can sleep for the rest of the day," he whispered.

"I have to get the girls in like an hour," she replied. "So not really."

"The girls are with their boyfriends," he argued. He could barely get the word boyfriend out. Kate shook her head and smiled.

"I meant the little girls," she answered. "The ones who aren't dating yet."

"How's Matty getting home?" he asked.

"The bus," she said. "He'll be home in like 30 minutes and then when he gets here I'm gonna have to leave."

"Well how about we have him go walk the girls home. It's only a few blocks."

"Hmm," she shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

**5 WEEKS LATER**

Kate was sitting at the kitchen table doing a puzzle. She had been feeling nauseous all day, but tried to push any thoughts from her mind. She was late. But she couldn't be pregnant again. She refused to believe that anything like that could be true.

The front door shut quickly and Kate heard the sound of someone running up the stairs. She got up and walked to the bottom of the stairs.

"Clem, Katie, what's going on?" Kate asked.

"Oh," Clem said, turning beet red. "Um...we're gonna go dye our hair. We'll be back down in a little bit."

Kate knew something suspicious was happening, but she was too tired to argue. She went back to her puzzle and Izzy followed her. The dog rested her head on Kate's leg. Kate pet the dog on the head and continued to work on the puzzle.

Upstairs Katie and Clementine went into the bathroom with the bag that they tried to hide from Kate. Clementine dumped the contents on the floor. They bought 3 different tests. She looked at Katie and sighed deeply.

"What if I'm pregnant?" she whispered. "Dad's gonna kill me. He'll never let me see Drew again."

"Well, if your dead it shouldn't matter," Katie chuckled.

"Ok, stop acting like dad and help me think about what to do," she sighed.

"Here," Katie said. "Take this one first. I'll wait outside."

"No!" she exclaimed. "We're supposed to be dying our hair...what if mom is waiting outside."

"Yeah and what are we going to tell her when we both have the same hair color when we go back downstairs."

"Here I got these too," she stated. She handed Katie two spray cans of color hairspray. One was bright purple and the other was lime green.

"You get the green," Katie scoffed.

"Well I got the green for me and the purple for you," she sighed.

"Mom is never going to believe that we would dye our hair these colors," Katie argued.

"Well then we'll tell her that we wanted to freak her out and it didn't work!" she yelled. "Oh...I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed."

"I don't know what the hell I would do," Katie shook her head. "Are you ready?"

"No," she said. But she sat down on the toilet and the girls waited for the first test to be ready. They both looked at it. When the small plus sign appeared Clementine stood up on her knees and threw up into the toilet.

"What am I gonna do?" she whispered.

"Try another one," Katie said supportively. "I heard Juliet talking about how these things can have false positives. Especially early on in the pregnancy."

"Ok, don't say the P word," Clementine sighed. "Gimme another one."

She took the second one and the three minutes seemed to go by faster this time. She looked down at it and saw the plus sign.

"Shit," she whispered. "Shit shit shit shit."

"Um...I think that's what? 10 dollars?" Katie asked.

"Shut up about the damn swear jar!" she exclaimed. "I'm so royally screwed Katie!"

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm-what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I'm not going to have this thing. I can't-I can't do this. I'm going tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Katie asked. "I mean...mom told us about having an abortion...well she couldn't go through with it the first time...and then the second time it didn't work. She had to lose those two babies anyway. Plus Sammy."

"Shut up," she sighed. "Look Katie. I don't know what to do. All I know is that I can't do this. I can't have a baby. I'm only 17."

"Ok," she nodded. "Ok."

"Don't ever have sex," Clementine mumbled.

"Alright," Katie said looking to the sides of her head.

"Oh my god you skank!" Clementine chuckled. "You and Aaron?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Who else? And who's callin' who a skank...you're the one who's pregnant...sorry."

"I'm gonna go down to Andrew's. And I'm bringnig the evidence."

She put everything in a plastic bag. Katie and Clementine both sprayed their hair the different colors and went back down stairs. As Clementine started to leave, Katie walked toward her and whispered.

"Are you gonna tell him?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Clementine nodded. "I have to."

The next day, Katie came home from school and sat down on the couch.

"Where's Clementine?" Kate asked.

"She's at Andrew's," Katie lied expertly. She was really at the clinic. Katie offered to go with her but she didn't want her to. Katie was only home for 20 minutes when Clementine ran through the door.

"Katie I gotta talk to you!" she yelled as she ran up the stairs. Katie got up off the couch and went up the stairs. She went into Clementine's room and quickly knelt in front of her.

"What happened?"

"I couldn't do it Katie," she sobbed. "I was sitting there and there was this woman sitting there...and she looked so nonchalant. And this guy came in and told her that they would go have pizza when she was done. They were acting like it was no big deal."

"Did you tell Drew yet?" Katie asked. "I mean did you tell him that you were pregnant?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I told him I was getting an abortion."

"What did he say?" she questioned.

"He told me to do whatever I thought was best," she said. "But I can't do it."

"What are you gonna do?" Katie inquired.

"I really don't know," she shook her head. "I mean...maybe I could put it up for adoption. I can't take care of the baby by myself."

"Mom and dad would help you," Katie tried.

"Are you kidding me?" she scoffed. "Mom and dad have enough to deal with. And it would be my respondsibility anyway. No. I'm gonna give it up."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I've gotta tell them," Clementine sighed. "Will you help me?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Of course."

Later that night when Sawyer got home the two teenagers went downstairs. Matty was playing poker with Sawyer and the twins were reading with Kate. Clementine went down the stairs and stood in the living room.

"Mom...dad, can I talk to you guys?" she asked. "Alone. Without kids here."

"You're not that much older than me Clementine," Matty scoffed.

"I know," she whispered. "But please. Matt can you go upstairs with the kids? Please?"

"I guess," he mumbled. "Let's go."

"No!" Monica exclaimed. "I wanna stay with mommy!"

"Monica you're not 3 years old anymore," Matty stated. "Mommy can't always be with you...and as soon as Clementine and Katie are done telling secrets we can come back down."

After the kids left Clementine sat down on the footstool in front of Kate.

"What's wrong Clementine?" Kate asked. Clementine looked at Katie and she waved her to continue.

"It's ok," she whispered.

"I really don't know how you're going to react," Clementine sighed. "That's what's making this so hard and so scary...I'm pregnant."

"What?!" Sawyer exclaimed and stood up. "Are you crazy?!"

"Dad," Katie said stepping toward him.

"I don't want a word out of you," he scoffed. "You're gonna end up pregnant too. We'll I'll tell you one thing...there is no way in hell you're hav-"

"Yes I am," she interrupted. "Believe me dad...I already tried what you're going to suggest, but I couldn't do it. You don't know what it's like."

"Yeah well I do know what it's like to have a baby...be a parent. We can't afford another damn kid to support and that's what would happen! No one is having any babies in this damn house and that's final."

"No it's not Sawyer," Kate whispered.

"Are you saying that you approve of this?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "But at least she came to us. At least she's not going to hide it."

"I'm not keeping it anyway!" she exclaimed. "I'm giving it up for adoption. Me and Drew are not ready to be parents. So I'm doing the right thing...for me!"

Clementine ran up the stairs and slammed her door. Katie sighed and looked at her two parents.

"I know this sucks," she shrugged. "But it's not like she planned it. She didn't want a baby. But she's right...it's her decision. And dad...I don't believe you would even suggest that she get an abortion. After everything that mom went through. You know how hard it is to lose a baby...whether you want it or not. And Clementine is taking responsibility. Now I'm gonna go see if she's ok."

Kate looked at Sawyer and sighed softly. She put her head in her hands and then looked back up.

"You know that thing?" she asked. "How you said that we couldn't afford another kid? You were just saying that right?"

"What are you talking about?" he scoffed. "I mean we really can't afford another baby Kate. We can barely afford what we've got. It's a damn good thing that she's giving that thing up for adoption."

"Thing Sawyer?" she sighed. "Our grandchild is now a thing?"

"Why are you defending her?" he asked. "She went and got herself pregnant! At her age!"

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "I 'got myself' pregnant at her age too! Only it wasn't just me...it was both of us! I was pregnant at 17. Don't you remember. And then I got so screwed up and drank so much that the baby didn't make it. Remember that!"

"Yes," he whispered.

"I'm proud of her," Kate said standing up. "I'm proud that she's doing the right thing and going to take care of her own problem...and if you can't see that-"

"Alright," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things. I just can't believe that our little daughter is pregnant."

"She's not a little girl anymore," she shook her head. "She's pretty much a woman now. And she needs our help."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I guess she probably does."

"She does," she replied. "And by the way Sawyer...I'm pregnant too. So congratulations. You're gonna be a grandpa and a daddy all in the span of 9 months."

She walked away leaving Sawyer staring at her in awe.

**A/N:I'm so totally psyched because I found out today that I'm not going to have to work on Thursday the 31st, which means that I will be able to see the Lost season premiere. I don't know about other Thursdays...but today when I saw my schedule, and the 31st wasn't a day I was working I was so excited! Hah. Anyway, back to the fic. I hope everyone enjoyed it. It was nice and long. I know that I skipped ahead a lot, but I wanted the kids to be older so that more crap and agnst could happen. I had the idea a long time ago to have either Clementine or Katie be pregnant at the same time as Kate because that would just be angsty and it's something that could ultimately happen. So I hope everyone is ok with that too. Anyway please review!**


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 93**

Sawyer stood up and ran after Kate. Kate was almost at Clementine's door and he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the bedroom. Kate sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"When were you planning on telling me?" he asked.

"Tonight," she said. "I was going to tell you tonight."

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" he questioned. "I already have to deal with Clementine and now you're pregnant too?"

"It's not like I meant for it to happen Sawyer," she sighed.

"How did this happen?" he asked.

"We've been through this a few times before Sawyer. I would have thought that you would know how it happened."

"Not you," he shook his head. "Clementine. She's too young."

"Yeah," she nodded. "And so was I. But it happened. We'll help her though it Sawyer...but she's gonna need us. She may not think she does, but she does."

"Ok," he sighed. "You go talk to her...I still need to have the room stop spinning."

Kate nodded and began to leave.

"Kate?" he asked. She turned toward him. "So do you think you can have a boy this time? I mean me and Matty are over taken by you crazy women...I mean even the dog is a girl...next thing we know she'll be knocked up and have a litter of 10."

"She's spayed," Kate chuckled. "And I don't really have any control over what the baby is gonna be...but I'll try."

"That's all I ask," he smiled. She stepped toward him and kissed him softly.

"It's gonna be ok," she whispered. "And Clem is doing the right thing."

Kate left the room and walked over to Clementine's. She knocked on the door softly and let herself in the room. Clementine was laying on her bed with her hand on her face. Katie was holding her other hand and talking to her quietly. Kate cautiously walked over to where Katie was sitting and silently told her to leave.

"Clem," Katie started. "Mom's here. I'll be back in a couple minutes."

"Ok," she whispered. "Thanks Katie."

"No problem," Katie answered. She left the room and shut the door behind her.

"Clem," Kate said. "It's ok. It's going to be fine."

"How can you say that?" Clementine asked. "Dad's never going to talk to me again, and we're gonna...I'm having a damn baby mom. I can't do this. I'm not going to be able to be a mom, but I don't know if I'll be able to give it away."

"Clem, that would have to be the hardest and most important decision of your whole life," Kate replied sitting down on the bed next to Clem and putting her arms around her. "But whatever you decide...dad and I are going to support you."

"I'm not so sure about dad," she whispered. "I'm his first little girl...I ruined everything."

"No you didn't," Kate shook her head. "And don't ever let anyone tell you that...not even dad. He loves you. He's going to help you through it too."

"Then where is he?" she questioned. "Freaking out huh?"

"No," Kate chuckled. "Well yes...but not just because of you. Clem...I'm gonna tell you something and I want you to promise me that you're not gonna go blabbing it to your brother and sisters...not even Katie."

"Oooh!," she exclaimed. "This must be good."

"I'm pregnant too," Kate responded.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm pregnant," Kate shrugged. "I know...I've got great timing don't I?"

"That's so weird," Clementine breathed. "But it's kinda cool huh? We can go through it together?"

"I just feel bad for your dad...he's the one who's gonna have to deal with 2 hormonal women."

"I'm a woman mom?" she asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You were a woman the moment that little plus sign showed up."

"Do you ever miss your mom?" Clementine asked. "I mean I know that grandpa comes over a lot, but I kinda miss him living here."

"Your grandma was a good lady," Kate replied. "She just fell in love with the wrong guy. I miss her sometimes. I miss the old her. The woman that would fight back."

"I'm glad that you're my mom," she stated. "I don't really remember my birth mom, but you're a good mom."

"Thank you," Kate smiled. "Now...what do you want to do?"

"I want to find a couple...a happy couple and give my baby to them," she shrugged. "I know it sounds dumb...but I don't want to be a mom...right now I mean. And I know that Drew's not ready. I already agreed with him that we should give the baby up."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Dad and I are gonna help you. And I promise that he's gonna be ok."

"I'm really scared," she said quietly. She turned toward Kate and put her head on her shoulder. "I'm so scared. I'm gonna be completely alienated at school, and it's gonna hurt."

"Oh sweetie," Kate chuckled. "It is gonna hurt...but we're gonna be there to hold your hand and they give you wonderful drugs."

"I just don't want everyone to hate me," she sobbed.

"No one is going to hate you," Kate answered quickly. "And if anyone does they're assholes."

"Mom!" she exclaimed with a chuckle, but was still sobbing. There was a soft knock at the door and Sawyer poked his head in and walked toward the bed.

"You ok Cinderella?" he asked.

"Dad," she said through a sniffle. "You haven't called me that in forever."

"Well...special circumstances," he shrugged. "Come here darlin'."

He sat down on the bed and Clementine sat up to hug him. She rested her head on his shoulder and continued to cry. She sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Are you ok with this?" she asked quietly.

"Well honestly...Cinderella is supposed to be virginal right?...I'm not thrilled Clem. But there's really nothing I can do about it now."

Clementine let out a small chuckle and cleared her throat.

"I need to talk to Drew," she whispered. "I'd kinda like to do it in person so can I go over there?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. Sawyer looked at her like she was crazy. "What? It's not like she's gonna go get pregnant."

Both Kate and Clementine laughed, but Sawyer didn't. He sighed softly and left the room.

"Don't worry about your dad," Kate shook her head. "He'll get used to it. He'll get over it."

"In 9 months," she answered. "When this is all over and I give the baby away."

"I can't believe that you're being so...mature," Kate said.

"I can't believe that you're being so awesome," Clementine replied. "Nobody is supposed to be this cool about having a pregnant daughter...well a teenage pregnant daughter. I love you so much mom."

"Do you love Drew?" she asked.

"I-telling the truth here right?" she sighed. "Yes. I'm in love with him. I wouldn't have done anything with him if I didn't."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Kate stated. "As weird at that might sound...I'm glad that you really love him Clem...your dad is the only guy I've ever loved. He's the first guy I ever kissed."

"Yeah, but you kissed Jack and Tom too," Clementine smirked.

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll give you that...but your dad is the only person I've ever had sex with."

"Gross!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Kate asked. "Now that you're pregnant we get to have these talks without you getting grossed out. It's not like I gave you any details. I'm just telling you that he's the only guy I've been with and it's gonna stay that way forever."

"Too bad dad can't say that," Clementine scoffed.

"I don't think he's been with that many people Clem," she shook her head. "He met me at 17...he hasn't had time to have too many partners."

"Ok," she said. "Now can I go to Drew...I'm gonna have some morning sickness in a second here if you don't stop talking about it."

"Ok," Kate chuckled. "I'm sorry. Goodnight. Don't stay out too late."

"I'll be back around 12:00...is that ok?"

"Yes," Kate nodded. "You've always had a 12:00 curfew."

"Well I guess you are right...it's not like I can get in worse trouble," she said shaking her head. "Will you come with me to my doctor's appointments?"

"Of course I will," she replied. "Night Cinderella."

Clementine rolled her eyes but she was smiling widely. Kate knew that she felt much better knowing that she and Sawyer were ok with the pregnancy. Like Sawyer had said neither of them were particularly excited about it, or ok with it, but since there wasn't much else they could do, they had to support her.

Kate walked into Katie's room and sat down on her bed.

"Hey mom," she said, holding her cell phone down. "I'll call you later ok baby...I don't know my mom's gonna talk to me...probably give me the safe sex talk."

She hung up the phone and sat up further. Kate sat down on the bed and looked at her.

"You're a good sister," Kate said.

"Well," she shrugged. "Clem needed me. And I know that if I ever needed her she would be there for me."

"Yes," Kate nodded. "I think she would be. Anyway...I just wanted to come in here and ask you how you're doing. And you're right...having the safe sex talk. You and Aaron are good?"

"Oh mom," Katie shook her head. "Are you trying to ask the big question, without actually asking it?"

"I just don't want you to end up like Clementine. Do you know how hard this is gonna be for her? I mean yeah...she has all of us. Dad and I aren't gonna throw her out. We're gonna do everything we can to support her...but it's scary for her. She doesn't know what to do."

"Neither would I," Katie answered.

"Katie are you and Aaron being safe?" Kate asked.

"Well, thanks for trying to talk around that question mom," she chuckled. "Yes. We're being safe."

"Completely safe?" she asked. "I know this is embarassing, but even using protection doesn't always work. You're a perfect example of that."

"Thanks a lot!" Katie exclaimed.

"Oh," Kate sighed. "That isn't what I meant. You were just a surprise."

"You mean a mistake," she scoffed.

"No," Kate argued. "A surprise."

"Well what the hell's the difference?" Katie asked.

"A mistake is something that you never wanted...a surprise is something that you didn't know you wanted, but it turned out to be really good," she replied without hesitating. "You know that I love you Katie. I love you more than anything. You're my first little baby."

"Clementine's older," she sighed.

"I know," Kate nodded. "But you were in me and dad's life before Clem was. You're our first baby."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Yes...Aaron and I are having sex...but we're being careful and I won't get pregnant. But my sex life is really none of your business. Besides that dad was my age when he got Clementine's mom pregnant."

"I know," she replied. "But I don't think dad is necessarily too proud of that. I mean he's proud of Clementine and he loves her and so do I...but she was also a surprise."

"Well lucky Matty, Monica and Lucy," she murmured. "They get to be the wanted kids."

"Katie stop it," Kate shook her head. "I wanted you. And I want Clementine too. When I found out I was pregnant with you I was really happy. Even though it was a surprise it was a happy surprise. I was excited to have my first baby."

"Yeah, but because of me you didn't go to college," she frowned.

"I wouldn't have gone to college anyway sweetie," she responded. "I wanted to, yet I didn't. I wanted to make a good life for you. Me and dad have always just wanted what was best for you and your siblings."

"I know," Katie sighed. "It just sucks. I feel like I'm just this huge mistake that you never wanted."

"I wanted you," Kate repeated. "I was very happy throughout my pregnancy. Now I have to tell you something ok?"

"What?" she mumbled.

"I'm pregnant too. And before you say anything about me and being mad or whatever, about me having too many damn kids...just don't even start with it. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"So that means we'll have 3 kids who were all wanted...ok planned," she began. "And 3 that are 'surprises'. What happened mom?"

"Well I'm surprised I can even still have kids if you wanna know the truth," Kate shook her head. "I've gone through so much...I'm shocked my body can still handle it. But I'm gonna try to embrace this pregnancy. I don't want it to be a huge ordeal."

"How does dad feel about it?" she asked.

"Personally I think he's still in shock from Clementine," Kate answered. "When I told him he was a little freaked, but I think he'll end up being ok with it."

**3 Months Later**

Kate and Clementine were waiting in the waiting room to go in to see the doctor. Clementine's appointment was first, and then Kate's. Kate was holding Clementine's hand. She had gone to the doctor before, but she hadn't heard the heart beat yet. She already had a couple picked to take her baby. They were young, but had been together since high school. They had been trying to have a baby for 3 years without success. Clementine wanted to give the baby to parents who would really really want the baby. Katie had suggested a family that already had 3 kids, and Clementine immediately refused. She wanted a family who would appreciate a baby. She was sure that that particular family would love the baby, but she wanted to give a chance to people who hadn't been parents yet.

Kate was running her thumb across Clementine's hand. Drew was sitting next to Kate too. He looked really nervous and wasn't saying anything. The room filled with the sound of the baby's heart beat. Clementine looked at Kate with a smile. Kate had tears in her eyes...Clementine didn't.

"Mom," Clementine smirked. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't know," she shook her head.

"That sounds so...crazy," Drew whispered.

"Cool huh?" Clementine chuckled.

"I thought you haven't heard the baby's heart beat before," Drew said.

"I haven't heard our baby," she relied. "But I got to go to appointments with mom for all her pregnancies. The one I remember the most was the twins of course."

"Ok, the baby is very healthy," Juliet said. "Do you want to know the sex?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Ok."

"You're having a girl," she smiled.

"Mom?" she asked. "Can I name her middle name? You know...I just-I don't want to be part of the baby's life...but I want her to know-"

"I don't know," Kate sighed. "You'll have to ask the adoptive parents. I'm sure they'd let you if you wanted."

"Ok Kate," Juliet said. "Your turn. And guess what? You're not going to freaking believe it...but I found out that I'm pregnant."

"You're kidding me?" Kate chuckled. "How far along are you?"

"Only about a month," she answered. "But I'm definitely gonna have a baby."

"Congratulations," Kate laughed.

"Yeah Juliet," Clementine nodded. "Congrats. I guess dad can't go to your guys house to get away from hormonal crazy pregnant women."

Kate and Juliet chuckled. Kate got up onto the table and lifted up her shirt. Juliet put the cold gel on Kate's stomach. She shivered and sighed.

"You would think that they could come up with something better to heat that stuff up," she said.

"Well they do Kate," Juliet laughed. "There's a heater...unfortunately mine is broken."

"Oh," she nodded. "Figures."

"Ok, let's see your baby," Juliet smiled. The room once again filled with the sound of a beating heart. Sawyer was supposed to be here by now, but he was running late. He came into the room quickly and nearly pushed Drew out of his seat so he could sit next to Kate's head.

"Hey," he breathed. "Sorry I'm late. I sort of forgot."

"Great," she mumbled.

"Well I'm sorry," he shrugged. "But at least I remembered right?"

"I guess," she said.

"We gonna find out the baby's sex?" he asked.

"If you want to," Juliet said.

"We want to right?" he questioned Kate.

"Yeah," she nodded. "We can find out."

"You want a boy huh?" Juliet asked.

"Damn house is over-run with bras and girls and PMS...I need another boy in the mix," he said.

Juliet chuckled and nodded.

"Well I'm hopin' for a daughter," Juliet responded. "I've got a house full of men."

"Yeah well we've got 5 girls..and 2 boys. At least there's only 3 boys versus 1 girl in your house."

"Ready?" Juliet asked. "It's the moment of truth."

She looked at the screen and then back at Kate and Sawyer. She was trying hard not to smile and Kate could tell.

"You're having twins," she stated with a cock of her head.

"What?!" Kate, Sawyer, Clementine, and Drew all exclaimed.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," she chuckled. "Sorry...I just couldn't resist. Wouldn't that be sweet though?"

"No," Kate, Sawyer, Clementine and Drew all mumbled.

"Ok...sorry Sawyer," she said shaking her head. "You're having a girl."

"Good God!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry honey," Kate chuckled.

"No you're not," he scoffed. "You think it's funny."

"What I think is funny," Kate started. "Is that Clementine is having a girl too. I know how much you wanted a boy Sawyer...but at least you got Matty."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "At least...and I love Matty. I love our male bonding experiences...I just thought maybe we'd have another guy to add to it."

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I really am. Maybe we can get a boy cat or something."

"Cats are girly," he shook his head.

"Um," she began with a chuckle. "I hate to break this to you Sawyer, but there has to be male cats to make other cats."

"Whatever," he sighed. "Are we ready to go home?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I really am sorry Sawyer."

"Ok," he replied. "I know it's not your fault. And I know that you would have been happy for a boy."

"Of course I would have been," she answered. "I wanted a baby brother for Matty."

"Ok," Juliet began. "So just so you all know...especially you Sawyer...they're about 2 weeks apart. I mean that Clementine is due on July 21st, and Kate is due on the 28th. So it's possible that they'll have the babies just days apart or even on the same day. So Sawyer as soon as that second week in July hits you need to keep an eye on both of them, maybe even before then."

"Ok," he nodded.

That night laying in bed Kate was laying with her head on Sawyer's chest. He was sleeping, but Kate thought he was probably faking it.

"Sawyer?" she whispered.

"Hmm," he said keeping his eyes closed.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, with her voice shaking.

"Of course not," he mumbled, still keeping his eyes closed.

"I can't handle it Sawyer," she said. Tears began to stream down her face. She didn't mean for them to fall and knew that she should probably have lifted her head off his chest before any of them fell on his bare skin, but she wasn't quick enough.

"Kate," he whispered shifting his body and putting his arms around her. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm thrilled that we're having another girl. I'm just glad that she's healthy. I just want her to be happy and beautiful like her momma. Don't cry. I'm an idiot. I should have remembered how emotional you get."

"Great," she sniffled. "Now I'm just your crazy emotional pregnant wife, who you don't even want."

"Kate-"

"And you keep calling me Kate," she sobbed.

"Freckles," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I love you so much ok? And I'm not mad at you in the least. I'm a dumbass. It's all my fault."

He hugged her tighter and she shook her head. She tried to stop crying because she knew she was being silly, but the tears kept falling.

**5 and a Half Months Later-1 week before Clementine's due date, 2 weeks before Kate's.**

Kate and Clementine were sitting on the couch watching Steel Magnolias. They were both sobbing. Sawyer came home and saw them crying. He sat down on the couch and watched the rest of the movie. By the end of the movie he was crying too. Clementine smiled widely.

"See it's not just our horrible hormones," she sniffled and chuckled. "This movie is freaking sad."

"Yeah," he nodded. "It is...but I don't get why you put yourselves through it. You know that this movie makes you cry even before you were pregnant."

"Well we're watching Terms of Endearment next."

"I'm outta here," he said standing up. "One damn cry for me a day is good enough."

"Sawyer," Kate breathed. "My water just broke."

"No fair!" Clementine exclaimed. "I was supposed to go first!"

"Ok," Sawyer said. "We've done this plenty of times before...let's go."

"Wait," she sighed. "We have to call Juliet to see if she can wait for the girls to get home from school."

"Mom I'll be here," Clementine said.

"No," she shook her head. "You're going to come with us. What if your water breaks too? You'll be here all alone. Let's go have a baby."

Sawyer and Clementine were waiting in the waiting room for the doctor to finish examining Kate. Juliet wasn't working anymore since she was 7 months pregnant, but Kate was going to use Juliet's doctor since she figured she was just as good. Clementine was resting her head on Sawyer's shoulder. It was almost time for her afternoon nap. Kate and Clementine always took naps together around 4:00. Not because the doctor recommended it, but because they always seemed to fall asleep at that time. She was starting to fall asleep when both Sawyer and Clementine heard the whispering.

"He's like 20 years older than her," the first lady whispered. "I can't believe that. He's old enough to be her father!"

"I am her father," he said loudly enough for the whole waiting room to hear. "And I'm 16 years older than her for your information."

"Dad," Clementine whispered.

"No!" he exclaimed.

"Dad," she said again this time slightly louder. "If those bitches can't keep their noses out of our business whatever."

"You're right," he mumbled.

"Mr. Ford?" a doctor came out and asked.

"Yeah," he said standing up.

"Your wife is asking for you," he replied. "You still have a little while longer till your parents again."

"Alright," he nodded. "Which room is she in...and can my daughter come too?"

"Yeah," the doctor said. "Sure."

They walked together into Kate's room. Kate looked at Sawyer and Clem. She reached for Sawyer's hand and squeezed it hard.

"I take it that was a contraction?" he asked with a smile.

"Ha hah. You're so damn funny," she scoffed. "I vote for you to give birth next time."

"Next time?" he asked quickly.

"It was a figure of speech," she replied.

The nurse and the doctor came in and both examined Kate. Then they looked at both Kate and Sawyer and smiled.

"We're ready to have a baby," the nurse said. "Are you guys ready?"

"I guess," Kate shrugged. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Can our daughter stay in here to wait?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," the doctor nodded. "But just so you know it is a full moon tonight so we might have to kick you out if another woman comes in here...but you can wait in here if you'd like."

"Will you come get me when my baby sister is born?" she asked.

"Yeah," the nurse responded. "You look like you're ready to give birth too."

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "She's not pregnant."

"Oh," the nurse stated closing her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Dad," Clementine sighed. "He's lying. I'm actually due in a week. My mom...is due in two weeks. It's totally not fair!"

"That isn't fair," the nurse chuckled. "I was actually pregnant at the same time as my stepmom. It was weird. She had the baby before I had mine and we had our due dates a month a part. She had her baby a month early. I was not amused."

"Well I'm sure it was kinda scary for your step mom to have her baby a month early."

"This is all very facinating, but I feel like my baby is trying to push her own way out of my body...do you mind finishing this little conversation later?" Kate scoffed looking at Clementine and the nurse.

"Sorry," both the girls said, and both of them turned a slight shade of pink.

After they left, the nurse was only gone for 15 minutes when she came back and smiled at Clementine.

"You're baby sister has graced us with her presence."

Clementine got up and went into the room with the nurse. Kate was holding the baby and smiling down at her. Sawyer waved Clementine over and helped her into a chair by the bed.

"What are you gonna name her?" Clementine asked.

"Alayna," she smiled.

"How are you gonna spell it?" she asked.

"A-L-A-Y-N-A," she replied.

"Not A-L-A-I-N-A?" she questioned.

"No," Kate shook her head. "We want to be different. Besides it's not that much different. Anyway...Alayna Jane."

"I love the name Jane," Clementine said. "I was gonna name my first daughter Matilda Jane."

"Well you could name her Jane," Kate stated. "After her aunt."

"Mary and John said that they were going to name my baby Matilda Clementine," she said. "I don't want her to have my middle name, but they want it. They said I'm like their angel so they want to give the baby my name."

"Mary and John?" the nurse asked.

"I'm giving my baby up for adoption," Clementine said. "I can't take care of this baby. And I want my baby to have everything. The couple I chose are super nice and they have money."

"So their naming the baby what you want to name the baby?" the nurse asked. "What if down the line you have another baby and you want to name her Matilda?"

"Well I'll name her Matilda. This baby isn't mine," Clementine shook her head. "She's just growing inside of me. This baby belongs to Mary and John."

"How old are you?" she questioned.

"18," she answered. "I just turned 18."

"You are way wise beyond your years," she chuckled.

"Thanks," Clementine smiled. "Anyway...back to baby Alayna. She's so beautiful mom. She looks just like you."

"Hmm," Kate looked down at the baby. "Not yet...but she will."

"Please...look at that hair...and the nose. All you mom. What color are her eyes?"

"Dunno yet," she shrugged. "She hasn't opened her eyes."

"How long does that take?" Clementine asked.

"Well," Kate started. "Katie opened her eyes pretty much as soon as she was born. Sammy took a little longer...like 30 minutes or so. Matty...I didn't think he was ever going to open his eyes. He didn't open them till the next day. And the twins took a few minutes. So it depends."

"Kate talk again," Sawyer smirked.

"Why?" she asked. "What does-"

"She opens her eyes when she feels the vibration of your chest," he interrupted.

"What?" she asked. "You're crazy."

Sure enough as Kate talked Alayna opened her eyes. They were bright green. Sawyer chuckled and the baby closed her eyes again.

"Talk again," he said.

"Sawyer," she argued. "Let her sleep. It's so weird. You would think that the vibrations of my chest would lull her to sleep."

"Well she's a Ford," he shrugged. "She's weird."

**A/N: Ok, so I know that I skipped ahead a lot again, but I kind of just wanted the babies to be born. But on the plus side another long chapter! The next chapter obviously will be when Clementine will have her baby. I don't know what's gonna happen exactly with that yet. I mean I do know how I'm gonna have it end up, but whatever. Ok...and the thing about Matilda...i'm a nerd and when I found out that Heath Ledger died I was totally shocked and saddened. He was so amazing and I'm so upset about it. And I've been watching all these news things about him and they keep talking about his daughter Matilda, and I decided that that name is really cool. I like it a lot so I decided to have that be one of the names of the two babies. I know I'm a weirdo, but I just got inspired. I hope you guys all liked this. Please review!**


	94. Chapter 94

**A/N: OK so I'm gonna do a quick recap of the other chapter just because it didn't get as many hits as the other ones have so I want to make sure that you're not skipping a chapter. Kate and Sawyer talked to Clementine about the pregnancy. It skipped ahead to a doctor's appointment where they found out what they were having..and then skipped ahead to Kate giving birth. This chapter will be Clementine giving birth and other stuff. It's kind of short because I didn't have a lot of time to write it, but the next chapter will probably be long**. 

**Chapter 94**

Clementine was sitting on the couch with the carton of ice cream resting on her stomach. She was eating directly from it. Alayna was in the bouncy seat on the floor. Kate had gone to pick up the girls from school. She was only going to be gone for a few minutes so Clementine insisted that she could stay at home with the baby. Katie came through the door and walked over to Clementine.

"How are you?" Katie asked.

"I want this damn baby out...right now," she mumbled. "She was supposed to be born yesterday. I need to do something to get the damn thing out!."

Alayna started crying. Katie stood up and picked the baby up. She started walking around and boucing her gently.

"I can't imagine being a mom right now," she said quietly. "It's so weird to me that you're going to have a baby."

"Yeah, well Mary and John are going to be the parents though," Clementine shook her head. "I gotta pee. I'll be back in a second."

"Second?" Katie asked.

"Shut up...you know what I mean."

Katie sat down on the couch with the baby and looked down at her. She flipped the channel on the TV. There was nothing on, but Katie pretended to watch it anyway. Clementine came back and sat down on the couch next to Katie.

"This sucks," she scoffed. "Mom home yet?"

"Nope," she answered.

"Here, lemme hold Alayna," Clementine said holding her arms out. Katie handed the baby to Clementine. They both smiled. "She's so cute. I wonder if Matilda will be this cute."

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Probably. I mean Drew's hot...you're hot. I'm sure the baby will be too."

"Thanks," Clementine chuckled and shook her head.

"Is Drew coming over later?" Katie asked.

"No," she answered. "He's gotta go to his aunt's house."

Sawyer walked through the door and walked toward the two girls.

"Where's mom?" he asked. He took Alayna from Clementine and kissed her on the cheek.

"She's picking up Moni and Lucy," Katie answered.

"She's been gone for forever," Clementine mumbled. "I just want to know what the hell is taking this damn baby so long to come. I need to-I'm just annoyed."

Kate came through the door. Both the girls were crying. She was carrying Monica and looked exhausted. Sawyer walked over and picked up Lucy who was now laying in the front hall yelling and crying.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Put me down!"

She ran up the stairs and Sawyer looked at Kate, confused as to why the girls were acting this way. Monica got down out of Kate's arms and ran up the stairs. Kate closed her eyes and rested her head against Sawyer.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Honestly," she started. "I have no idea. They got into the car screaming and crying like that. I tried to ask them and they wouldn't talk."

"Mom!" Clementine said. "Get this damn baby out of me right now!"

"Clementine calm down," Kate shook her head.

"No!" she yelled. "Maybe if I get all worked up it'll induce labor. I want this thing out of me!"

Katie was back to holding Alayna who had been sleeping until that point. She was now crying loudly. Kate walked over to Katie who looked a little annoyed. She took the baby and rocked her.

"Clem, it's gonna happen I promise," Sawyer said. "Matilda can't stay in there forever."

**3 Days Later**

Clementine still hadn't had the baby. She was even more antsy than before. She was walking around the house pushing on her stomach. Kate walked down the stairs holding Alayna, and having both Lucy and Monica holding on to her legs.

"Girls if you don't let go of my legs right now-" Kate sighed. "Look, you know I love you and I'm gonna play with you in a minute, but I'm gonna trip, and I'm holding the baby so please let go of me."

They both let go and crossed their arms over their chest. They were mad at Kate. Kate had found out that 3 days ago when she picked the girls up from school they had been crying because they were mad at Kate for spending too much time with the baby. Katie had been picking them up from school lately so when it was Kate instead they were angry.

Kate put the baby the baby seat and looked down at the twins.

"Girls, I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I know that we haven't been spending as much time together."

"Get over it," Clementine scoffed. "You're 7 years old. You can't be a mommy's girl the rest of your life. You're not babies."

They were both mad at Clementine now, but they just stayed sitting on the floor not moving.

"Mom?" Clementine asked taking a sharp breath.

"What?" Kate questioned. "You ok?"

"I think I'm having contractions. My back is killing me."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "Then let's get you to the hospital. Katie!"

Katie came running down the stairs and looked at them.

"I'm taking Clementine to the hospital," Kate continued. "Can you stay here with your sisters?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Where's Matty?"

"Matty is over at the Shephard's. And don't worry...I'm gonna take the baby so you just have to look after Lucy and Monica."

"The baby would be easier," she mumbled.

As Clementine and Kate waited in the waiting room, Kate went to call Sawyer and Drew. Clementine was sitting on the chair with her eyes closed, trying to think about something other than the contraction. She wanted to get into a room, and so did Kate.

**FLASHBACK**

Clementine and Drew were at his house. They were kissing in his room. Clementine backed away and took a short breath.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too Clem," he smiled. She rolled over on top of him and they kissed again. Clementine reached down and started unbottoning Drew's pants. He flipped them over and looked down at her.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm ready. Are you?"

They kissed again.

**FLASHBACK OVER**

"Clementine Ford," the nurse said. Kate and Clementine both stood up and followed the nurse into a room.

"The contractions are coming really fast," Clementine breathed. "Maybe this wasn't such a great idea."

"Well Clem, it's a little late now," Kate chuckled.

"Shut up," she shook her head. "Are dad and Drew coming?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "They should be here soon."

"Are they gonna miss the birth?" she asked.

"I don't know hon," Kate answered. The nurse examined Clementine and nodded.

"Um, you're ready to give birth to this baby right now," she told her. "Are you ready?"

"No," Clementine shook her head. "My dad and my boyfriend aren't here. I have to wait for them."

"Well sorry, but you don't exactly have that option," she responded. "We need to go into the delivery room within the next 10 minutes."

"10 minutes?" Clementine asked quickly. "Are they gonna make it mom?"

"Hope so," Kate smiled.

"What about Mary and John?" she questioned. "Did you call them?"

"Not yet, but I can. Do you want me to?" Kate asked

"Yeah," she nodded. "Will you?"

"I'll be right back sweetie."

Kate left the room and went down the hall. When she got back to the room the nurse was ready to push Clementine into the delivery room. Sawyer and Drew weren't there and Clementine was freaking out.

"No!" she shook her head. "I don't want to do this mom."

"Sweetheart, you're ok," Kate said quietly.

Kate went with Clementine into the delivery room and held her hand. When the baby came the nurse put her into Clementine's arms. She was sobbing. Kate brushed her hair out of her face and looked down at the baby.

"She's gorgeous Clem," Kate whispered.

"I know," Clementine nodded and sniffled. "Can you take her now?"

The nurse took the baby out of the room and Clementine breathed in deep. Sawyer and Drew came in the room 10 minutes later. Sawyer walked over to Clementine and put his arms around her.

"How're you doin'?" he asked.

"Ok," she breathed. "Are Mary and John here?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "They went down to the nursery, but they'll be up here in a little bit."

"Do you wanna go see Matilda?" Kate asked Sawyer. "Leave the kids alone for a minute?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Let's go."

Kate and Sawyer left the room. Drew sighed and looked at Clementine. He sat down on the bed next to her and reached over to put his hand on her face.

"You ok?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. She fell against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Can't you still change your mind?" he whispered. "I mean aren't they gonna give us some time?"

"We have 30 days to actually change our minds," she sniffled. "But I can't do that to Mary and John. We've gotten to know each other. And maybe someday we can be good parents, but they can be good parents now."

"Maybe we can be good parents now," he replied.

"Stop," she breathed. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Ok," he whispered. He hugged her tigher and rubbed her back.

Sawyer and Kate walked down to the nursery. Kate was carrying Alayna. Sawyer had his arm around her shoulder and they stopped in front of the window. Kate pointed at the baby. Sawyer looked at Kate, who was crying already.

"Kate," he said quietly.

"It's our granddaughter," she stated. "How weird does that sound?"

"It sounds weird," he sighed. Mary and John were standing near by. They both walked toward Kate and Sawyer and smiled at them.

"She's gorgeous," Mary said with a large smile. "We're gonna go up and see Clementine. Is that alright?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "Of course."

When Mary and John got up to Clementine's room she was crying hard. So hard that she was barely breathing. They had the lawyer and the paper work with them. It was always the plan to do the adoption on that day. She sat up when she saw Mary and John in the window. She wiped her cheeks off and waved them in.

"Hey," Mary said softly. "We can come back if you want."

"No," she shook her head. "I want to get this over with. Do you have the papers?"

"Yeah," John whispered. "You know...Clem...we'd get it...if you needed a few more hours...or even days. We've gone through this before. We know the baby isn't ours yet."

"Yes it is," she answered. "Lemme have the papers."

She sat up and Drew took her by the hand. She started signing the papers. As she signed she began to cry again. This time not being able to stop the tears from falling on the paper. She signed the last one and pushed the papers toward Mary and John. She turned toward Drew and he re-wrapped his arms around her.

**A/N: Ok...so I hope you all enjoyed this. I will definitely be updating again soon. Please please review!**


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

**4 Days Later**

Kate and Sawyer were sitting on the couch. They were both looking down at the baby. Sawyer was holding her. Kate was trying to take her away.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's my turn!" she half whined.

"Freckles," he sighed. "I don't think it's your turn quite yet. I've only been holding her for 10 minutes. You need to learn how to share."

"No!" she exclaimed, this time joking, but at the same time not. "I wanna hold her."

"I want to hold her too," he argued. "And you get her all day while I'm at work."

"Fine," she mumbled. "But I get her back in 10 minutes."

"So where are the other kids?" he asked.

"Clementine's upstairs," she said. "She refused to come down all day. Katie's at Aaron's-"

"Are Claire and Charlie home?" he interrupted.

"No, but the twins are," she answered. "And Charlie gets home in about an hour, so there's nothing to worry about. Anyway...Matty went to Suzie's house-"

"Suzie?" he asked. "Who the hell's Suzie?"

"Well she's a little girl that he goes to school with," she answered. "He has a little crush, but they're just friends. And he's 12...I really don't think that anything is gonna happen."

"You didn't know me," he mumbled.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"Oh don't worry," he shrugged. "I was 12 when I kissed my first girl."

"Well how old were you when you had sex?" she asked.

"In the 17 years that we've been together I'm kinda surprised that it hasn't come up before then," he chuckled.

"Well," she began. "I didn't really want to know...but now I do."

"I was 14," he replied.

"14?" she asked.

"You asked," he said.

"The first time you kissed a girl was when you were 12?" she asked.

"Yeah," he smirked. "A girl who rode my bus. We got off the same stop."

Clementine bounced down the stairs. She went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Alayna started crying. Kate looked at Sawyer and took the baby from him. Kate started rocking Alayna softly.

"Mom," Clementine said coming into the room. "I'm moving out. I can't be here. I'm going to Drew's."

She started leaving the house. Sawyer quickly stood up and ran after her. He stopped her at the door. The baby was still crying. Clementine put her hands up to her ears.

"I can't do this dad!" she exclaimed. She went out the door and Sawyer still followed her. He took her by the arm gently and pulled her toward him. She looked at him with a frown and shook her head.

"Dad," she started. "This is just too much. I can't-it would be different if Alayna wasn't here...but...I'm supposed to have a baby. I mean I was ok with it and I know that it's all for the best, but my baby isn't here. It's just too hard. I'm moving in with Drew."

"You can't just move in with him," Sawyer shook his head.

"Dad...you don't know what it's like," she said quietly. "I mean-I didn't want Matilda. I wasn't ready to be a mom...but it's still hard to see Alayna every day. I love her...she's my baby sister, but seeing you and mom playing with her and holding her...it just get's hard."

"I know darlin'," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I'm going to Drew's," she stated. "And I'm not coming back."

"Clem," he began. "You can't move in to Drew's house. You can't just over take their house."

"Overtake?" she asked. "It's just Drew and his mom...one more person isn't going to do anything and I already asked Jessica if I could stay and she said yes."

"Well I'm your father and I say no," he answered.

"God!" she screamed. "You suck!"

"Get back in the house," he said crossing his arms over his chest and standing in front of her. She scoffed loudly and went into the house. She slammed the door behind her and in Sawyer's face, and ran up the stairs. Sawyer opened the door and sighed deeply. He walked toward Kate who looked confused. Clementine's bedroom door slammed hard and Kate looked at Sawyer.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Clem wants to move out," he replied sitting down. "She's having a really hard time with Matilda."

"I can't imagine," she shook her head. "I mean-she's being really mature about this."

"Slamming doors and saying she wants to move out because she can't stand to watch us with Alayna?"

"Sawyer," Kate started. "She's still only 18...I mean-she's still a kid. And this is just killing her. I could never imagined giving Katie away...and that's exactly what Clem just did. And it's only been 4 days."

"I know," he nodded. "I just want to do something to help her. I don't know what to do."

"She's gonna need some time Sawyer," she whispered.

Over the next month things with Clementine didn't get any better. Clementine didn't spend any time downstairs. She only came downstairs to leave the house and go to Drew's. Kate was alone at the house with the exception of Alayna. All the kids were at school, and Sawyer was at work. She heard a frantic knock at the door and the doorbell rapidly ringing. Kate got up and opened the door. Mary was standing in front of her holding a suitcase in one hand and the baby carrier with Matilda sleeping soundly. No one had seen the baby since she was born.

"Hi," Kate said quietly. "Come on in."

"I can't stay long," she sniffled. "I'm giving the baby back to Clementine."

"What?" Kate asked. "Come over here. Have a seat. What's going on?"

"I can't do this," she breathed. "At least not by myself."

"What happend to John?"

"He left me," Mary replied. "He's been sleeping with his assistant. I can't be a mom by myself. I'm giving Matilda back to her mom. I can't do this."

"Mary it's a little late," Kate stated. "The adoption is finalized. You can't just return the baby. We're not just a clothing store where you can return it if it doesn't work out."

"John left me," she sobbed. "I can't be a single mom. She deserves a loving family with brothers and sisters or I guess in this case it's aunts and uncles, but I'm leaving."

"Wait-" Kate said.

"She likes her pacifier," Mary replied. "And here's my address. I'd love to get pictures every once and a while. But I understand if you don't send pictures. Bye Mattie."

She stood up and left the house. Kate sat at the table looking very confused. Matilda started crying. Kate sighed softly and picked her up.

"Hey," she whispered. "You're ok."

She sighed again and shook her head. Alayna started crying too. Kate stood up and walked over to where Alayna was. She set Matilda down and picked up Alayna. She situated her self so she could pick up Matilda too. There was another knock at the door. Kate was hoping that it was Mary saying that she was just having a moment of anxiety and she really did want Matilda. She didn't want Matilda to be at the house when Clementine got home from classes. She was taking 5 classes at the local community college. She was going to be transferring to UCLA the next year, but she wanted to get her grades up. She would be at class until 3...it was 2:15.

"Come on in!" Kate exclaimed over the babies crying. Juliet walked through the door. She was about 8 months pregnant. She walked over to Kate and gave her a confused look.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Well, Mary decided that she doesn't want to raise Matilda."

"Are you kidding me?" Juliet sighed. "What are you gonna do?"

"I haven't a clue," Kate shook her head. "I really don't want Matilda to be here when Clementine gets home from school because it's just going to upset her. I don't know what to do."

"Well when is Sawyer supposed to get home?"

"Usually around 4, which is after all the kids."

"What the hell are you gonna do?"

"I don't know Juliet!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry. None of this is your fault. It's just-I can't take care of two babies by myself all day."

"Well what did you do when Monica and Lucy were little?"

"I had help," she answered. "I mean Jack came over and helped. And Sawyer took time off work to help. I can't ask him to take more time off just because-"

"Well Clementine is taking classes," Juliet started. "But she's not gone all day every day. I'm sure she would be able to help you...besides Matilda is her responsibility anyway."

"No she's not!" Kate practically yelled. "Matilda is Mary and John's responsibility."

"That's not what I meant," Juliet shook her head. "I mean...if this is for real...and if Mary really doesn't want Matilda...Clementine could take responsibility for her."

"But that's not what Clementine wanted," Kate sighed.

"I know," she nodded. "What did Mary do with the adoption papers?"

"I dunno," Kate replied. "She gave me a suitcase of Matilda's stuff, but I haven't gone through it yet."

Juliet walked into the kitchen and picked up the suitcase. She brought it back into the living room and set it on the floor. She opened it and both women looked down in it. Sitting on the top was the adoption papers. They had red marker crossing out all the signatures. Kate sighed and called the number of the adoption agency. After talking to 6 different people and a couple computerized voices Kate found out that Mary and John Keebler had decided to make the adoption null and void. It was official. Matilda was Clementine's baby again. Kate sighed about 30 more times, trying to figure out in her mind what to do. While Kate had been on the phone with the adoption agency, Juliet had called Sawyer to come home and told him basically what was going on. He said he'd be home as soon as he could. Kate just hoped that he would beat Clementine home.

"Kate," Sawyer said coming into the room. "What the hell is going on?"

Kate stood up and walked toward Sawyer. First she put her arms around him and then she showed him the adoption papers.

"So Mary just decided that she didn't want the baby anymore? What about John?"

"Well I guess neither of them wanted to be single parents. They both care about Matilda. Mary said something about wanting Matilda to grow up in a loving non dysfunctional family."

"Did she meet us?" Sawyer asked. "I mean Clem got pregnant at 17...if that's not dysfunctional I don't know what is."

"Thanks dad," Clementine said coming through the door. "That makes me feel a lot better. Sweet."

She ran up the stairs, but much to Sawyer and Kate's surprise she didn't slam her door. Kate walked up the stairs and went into Clementine's room. Clementine looked up and shook her head.

"Dad didn't mean it like that," Kate sighed. "Clementine...there's something that I need to talk to you about."

"What?" she asked. Kate hesitated a few times before she could think about what to say. She had no idea how to word this very delicate conversation.

"Mary came here today," Kate began. "She and John are having some problems."

"Great," Clementine mumbled. "Now my baby can grow up with her parents divorced."

"There's more," Kate sighed. "Mary and John thought that Matilda deserved to grow up with a big happy family. With two parents and siblings."

"No," Clementine shook her head. "Please don't even say what you're gonna say next."

"She brought Matilda here," Kate continued putting a hand on Clementine's hand. "She wants you to have her back."

"No!" Clementine sobbed. "You know how hard this has been for me mom...I was just getting over it. What if they decide they want her back in 3 years? I can't go through that again. What-please-what do I do? Is she here? Is Matilda here?"

"Yeah," Kate whispered. "She's downstairs with dad."

Clementine got up and walked down the stairs. Kate followed her and watched her walk over to Sawyer. Sawyer was holding Matilda and smiling widely. Clementine looked at Sawyer. Sawyer handed her the baby. She held the baby closely and started crying.

"C-can you c-call...D-d-d-drew?" she stuttered.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. She walked over to the phone in the kitchen and called Drew. Sawyer sat on the couch next to Clementine and looked down at the baby.

"H-how do you know?" she asked. "What if they come back for her?"

"They won't be able to," Sawyer answered carefully. "They had the adoption cancelled."

"Can they even do that without me?" she questioned.

"I dunno honey," he replied.

"Dad," she said, her voice beginning to quiver again. "What am I gonna do?"

"You're gonna figure somethin' out," he answered. "Drew and you...you'll raise little Matilda."

"Will you and mom help?" she sniffled.

"You won't need it," he said confidently. "You're a smart girl Clem. You and Drew...you love each other right?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Well then you'll raise the baby together," he responded. "You'll help each other."

"Can we move to his house?" she asked. "Or can we stay here?"

"You better the hell stay here," he said. "I want to see my granddaughter."

"How freaked out are you to say that?" she chuckled.

"Not gonna lie Cinderella, it's freakin' me out big time...and just so you know...Matilda isn't allowed to call me grandpa."

"Well then what should she call you?" she asked.

"I don't care," he shook his head. "Papa? Sawyer? Just not grandpa. It sounds way too old."

"Well grandpa," Kate smirked and sat down on the arm of the couch. "You're still pretty young. I can't foresee Mattie calling you grandpa."

"Mattie?" he asked.

"Well it's a nickname."

"So we're gonna have Matty and Mattie?" he questioned.

"We'll figure it out," she shrugged. "Who knows...maybe in a couple years Matty will knock up some chick and he'll move out."

"Katherine Ford I can't believe you just said that...and you didn't even hesitate with it...was that a joke?"

"Of course it was," she replied. "He better the hell not get anyone pregnant...at least not right now."

"Mom what are we gonna do?" Clementine asked.

"I don't know yet sweetheart," she shrugged. "But we'll figure it out. We'll have a great time raising our babies together. Maybe while you're at classes Drew can help me take care of the babies."

"Can he move in?" she asked.

"If he wants, and if his mom agrees," she sighed. "I guess."

"We're gonna have a lot of people living in this damn house," Sawyer stated. "Let's see 6 kids...plus Matilda, plus Drew, plus us...that's 10 people."

"Well it's a good thing the Shephard's built a ridiculously big house," Kate smiled.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "Good thing."

**2 Months Later**

Drew had moved into the house. He and Clementine were pretty much playing house as Sawyer put it. They weren't married yet, but they were planning on getting married that summer. Matilda was a happy baby. She hardly ever cried, and even when she did as soon as someone picked her up she would stop crying. Alayna on the other hand cried all the time. She was never happy or comfortable. The only person that was able to hold her and get her to quiet down right away was Kate and sometimes Drew. Kate had gotten used to having 10 people in the house. She made time to spend with all the kids. Katie was more interested in hanging out with Aaron, so she didn't care if Kate hung out with her or not. Lucy and Monica had become more independent and they had stopped having temper tantrums out side of school when Kate would drop them off. Matty was hardly ever home anymore either. But all the kids always came home for dinner. Sawyer and Kate hardly had any time for just the two of them, but they delt with it. Clementine and Drew said that once they were married they were going to move out and move into a small house that was near their house. Kate didn't want to let her go, but knew that she was old enough considering she was going to be married and she had a baby. Clementine was goofy happy to have Matilda back. She was sitting on the couch holding the baby and admiring her.

"I can't believe that I didn't want her," she said quietly. "Who wouldn't want such a good and beautiful baby?"

"You were young and scared," Kate told her.

"Yeah...well what's Mary's excuse," she scoffed. "I'm happy that Mary decided that she didn't want her, but I don't get it. She's perfect."

"She is," Kate nodded.

"God," Clementine whispered. "She's just-I never knew that I could love someone so much. And I just love her more and more every day."

"I know," Kate smiled. "Isn't it the best?"

"I can see why you and dad had so many," she said. "We want a big family. Drew didn't have any brothers or sisters...so he wants Matilda to have as many as possible."

"And how many will that be?" Kate chuckled.

"Well I want 3," she stated. "3 all together I mean...so 2 more. But Drew wants 5. So we're going for a happy medium at 4."

"That's what dad and I said," Kate laughed. "And we have 6."

"You would have 7," Clementine whispered, and then covered her mouth. "Mom...I'm so so sorry."

"It's ok Clem," Kate shook her head. "It was a long time ago. 14 years ago."

"That's so weird that it was that long ago."

"Do you remember Sammy?" she asked.

"Kind of," she shrugged. "But it's getting harder."

"I know what you mean," Kate said softly. "The other day I was thinking about him, and I couldn't picture him. I forgot what he looked like. I had to look at a photo album to remember."

"It's all so weird to me," Clementine stated. "I mean...after everything that we've all gone through you'd think that our whole family would be a total mess. But life goes on I guess...even when you don't think it will."

"So when are you and Drew thinking about having another baby?" Kate asked.

"Not till we move outta here...that's for damn sure," she laughed. "I don't think we'll even do anything remotely...um-how do I say this-"

"You haven't had sex?" Kate half interrupted.

"Well first off it's only been a couple months," she said. "Juliet said to wait-"

"6 weeks," Kate told her.

"Ok," Clementine sighed. "Well whatever. We don't want to be doin' that...when there's 8 other people besides us...and also...if you don't remember...the baby sleeps in our room. We're not gonna scar her for life. It'll all just be easier if we wait till we move out...or till the honeymoon at least. And then it'll be like-well not like our first time since we've got a baby already...but it'll be special."

"Well isn't Jessica going on vacation in a couple weeks?" Kate asked. "You could go there for the night...we'll take care of Mat."

"You're encouraging it? Mom what the hell is wrong with you?" she said with a large smile and partial laugh."

"Well, I just know how I felt after I had...well all the kids," she answered. "Your dad never looked sexier to me."

"Gross mom...stop it," Clementine replied.

"What?" Kate asked. "He just looks damn cute with a baby in his arms. Don't even tell me that you don't melt every time Drew holds your daughter. I mean I melt, and I have no attraction to him whatsoever."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Ok...it's hot. I love watching him with Matilda. But that doesn't mean that I want to talk to you about having sex with him."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "That's fair. I just wanted to give you the option. I think considering you have a baby with him and you're still together and technically you're engaged...there's nothing wrong with being together."

"Well we don't need sex to be together," Clementine answered. Alayna started crying. Kate looked at Clementine somewhat annoyed. She loved Alayna more than anything, but she definitely needed a rest from the constant crying. She picked up Alayna and sat back down on the couch. Alayna didn't stop crying, and she ended up waking up Matilda. Kate looked at Clementine apologetically.

"How weird is this?" Clementine chuckled. "We're both taking care of our babies...together. This is just odd. I'm gonna take Matilda upstairs and put her in her crib. She'll be fine and she'll go right back to sleep."

"Lucky!" Kate exclaimed.

"And she's starting to sleep through the night," Clementine bragged.

"Oh shut up," Kate scoffed. Clementine chuckled and went up the stairs. Kate rested the back of her head against the wall. Alayna was still crying. Sawyer came home and saw that Kate looked stressed. Her eyes were closed, and her head was still against the wall. He walked toward her and gently took the baby from her.

"Hey Al," he said quietly. "You might want to be quiet. I think you're driving your mama crazy. Please be quiet for just a little bit."

"A little bit?" she asked sitting up slightly.

"I'm negotiating. I know that she won't stay quiet forever, but maybe if I ask for a few minutes she'll agree. Right?"

Kate smiled and watched Sawyer bounce the baby. He was almost dancing. And then he walked over to the radio and turned it on. As the song played she realized that he definitely was dancing. Kate stood up and walked toward him. He still held on to the baby, but he put his other arm around her and pulled her closer. They danced together and both held on to the baby.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Who are you talking to?" Kate asked.

"Well, I was talking to you, but I love you both. I love all my girls." he said kissing Kate.

Kate smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. She held Alayna's hand in her own and closed her eyes. Sawyer continued to rock gently. Alayna went to sleep quickly. Sawyer looked down at Kate who seemed to be breathing as if she was sleeping too.

"Kate," he whispered. She didn't move. She had fallen asleep standing up. Clementine came downstairs and saw Sawyer's predicament. She smiled and let out a chuckle. She took the baby from him carefully, trying her best not to wake her up. Sawyer picked Kate up and carried her up the stairs. Clementine took Alayna up the stairs. Sawyer lowered Kate into their bed and covered her with a blanket. She was snoring softly before he got to the door. He walked toward Alayna's room to make sure that Clementine was handling it ok. She was rubbing Alayna's stomach and trying to hush her back to sleep. Alayna had woken back up, but she wasn't crying.

Clementine and Sawyer went back down the stairs. Sawyer sat down on the couch and waited for Clementine to follow him. Instead of sitting down next to him she laid down and put her head in his lap. He let out a small chuckle.

"You're exhausted too huh?" he asked.

"Not as much as mom," she replied. "But yeah. Last night Matilda didn't wake up once, but it freaked me out because I kept thinking that she wasn't breathing. I'm just so worried that she's gonna have a heart condition like Katie or Sammy."

"Well Katie's is under control now right?" he asked. "She's fine. I mean she's not fine fine...she still has to take her meds, but she's alright. And Matilda doesn't have any problems. She got all the tests done."

"I know," she nodded. "But I can still worry can't I?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "It's part of bein' a parent sweetie. I still can't believe that you're a mommy."

"You and me both," she shook her head. "It's weird. I don't know what to do. I mean I love her so much, but I still wish I would have waited."

"You and me both Clem," he said.

"You and mom didn't wait," she responded.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But we were married."

"Not the first time mom got pregnant," she argued. "I mean I don't mean to be a brat, but it's true. She was my age when she got pregnant the first time."

"Yeah," he replied. "I know."

"I love you dad," she said.

"Love you too," he smiled. The baby monitor went off. Clementine picked it up and handed it to Sawyer.

"That's you," she smirked. The other monitor went off a split second later. Clementine rolled her eyes and Sawyer mocked her with a chuckle.

"I'll get her," he said.

"Thanks dad," she stated with a smile and a bat of her eyelashes.

**A/N: OK. So I hope that you all enjoyed this! hehe. 5 more chapters. I'm really gonna try to update tomorrow during the day, but it's my birthday weekend so I'll be hanging out with friends for most of it. Pleaase review!**


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 96**

Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed. Kate was just starting to fall asleep when the baby started crying. Kate mumbled and rolled over. Sawyer put his arms around her and lifted his head next to hers. She thought that he was going to whisper something nice and sweet, but he didn't.

"Freckles," he began. "Baby's cryin'."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I hear her. Can't you get her?"

"I did last time," he replied. "It's your turn."

"But I'm comfortable and tired," she whispered. She didn't move.

"I'm not goin'," he told her. "I guess we'll just let her cry then."

"Fine," she scoffed. "You really suck you know that?"

She got out of bed and went into Alayna's room. She was crying and trying to roll herself over. Kate went to the crib and picked her up. Usually as soon as Kate picked her up she would stop crying, but today that wasn't happening. Kate sighed softly and sat down in the rocking chair. She continued to cry.

"What's the matter?" Kate asked softly. "It's ok Alayna. Shh."

Alayna seemed to be crying harder. Kate stood up and walked into her and Sawyer's bedroom. Sawyer grumbled when she came into the room.

"What are you doing?" he questioned.

"I'm bringing her in here," Kate answered. "I'm gonna lay down with her and see if that helps."

"She's just gonna cry," he replied. "Wake me up."

"Don't even start with me Sawyer. Just shut the hell up," she said. Everything up till now was supposed to be joking around and not really making her mad. Now he could tell that she was really pissed. She laid down on the bed still holding Alayna. She held her and rubbed her back gently. Alayna still didn't quiet down. Kate was now angry and frustrated. Sawyer got up and walked around the bed. He looked down at Kate apologetically. She rolled over. He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her. She continued to try and get Alayna to quiet down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Here...lemme try."

She rolled back over with a frown on her face and handed him the baby. He stood up and started walking around with her. She started calming down, but was still fussing somewhat.

"Did you check to see if she needed to be changed?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm not an idiot Sawyer," she scoffed.

"Well fine," he sighed. "I'm gonna go downstairs and make her a bottle then."

He left the room and went downstairs. Kate sighed again and leaned back. She hit her head on the headboard hard. She grabbed her head and swore loudly. She felt dizzy, so she laid herself down. Her head was now killing her. She decided that she was gonna go downstairs to get some ice. She was walking down the steps and felt dizzy again. She held on to the wall to steady herself. Sawyer was coming back up the stairs, still holding Alayna.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"I hit my head," she whispered. "I'm going to get some ice."

"Lemme go get it," he replied. "Here, can you take Alayna?"

"Yeah," she nodded. She took Alayna and walked into her room. She put Alayna in her crib and walked back to the bedroom. She laid down and closed her eyes. Her head was pounding and she just wanted to sleep. When Sawyer came into the room he noticed that Kate's eyes were closed. He hoped that she wasn't passed out. He got onto the bed and put the ice on her head carefully. She breathed in deep, in pain.

"Sorry," he said softly. "You ok?"

She rested her forehead against his chest. He held the ice and rubbed her back gently. He moved the ice away and checked her head. There was already a bump. He put the ice back gently.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have-I should have been the one to go get Alayna."

"It's not your fault that I'm a dumbass," she mumbled. "I hit my own damn head."

He leaned over her and kissed her head gently.

"Better?" he asked with a small smile.

"Yeah," she chuckled. She kissed him and wrapped her arms around him.

Clementine and Drew were together still, but because of the baby they were having some problems. Clementine was always busy with the baby which annoyed Drew. He loved the baby and he took care of her whenever Clementine was in class or couldn't take care of her. But he was definitely annoyed that Clementine refused to even make out in her parents house. He was alone in the house. Clementine and Kate had gone to the store and they took the babies with them. He was up in his and Clementine's room reading his home work for his history exam that was in a few days.

"Clem!" Katie exclaimed coming into the room sobbing.

"Katie," Drew said sitting up.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I thought-bye."

"Wait," he replied. "Katie what happened?"

"I just needed to talk to my sister," she sniffled. "Sorry I bothered you."

"Katie," he sighed taking her by the wrist. "Hey. It's ok. What happened?"

"Where are they anyway?" she asked. "Mom and Clem?"

"They went to the store," he replied. "Now stop trying to get out of this...what happened? Something with Aaron?"

"He dumped me," she answered softly. He put an arm around her and gave her shoulder a squeeze. She turned toward him and sobbed against him. She looked up at him and he smiled at her weakly. She leaned up and kissed him. He kissed her back and then backed away.

"Whoa," he whispered. "Katie-"

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. She stood up and ran out of the room. Drew looked at the door in awe. He had no idea what had just happened. He knew that he had just kissed Katie, but he didn't know why. He leaned back against the wall and put his hands to his face. He stood up and went to Katie's room. She was laying face down on the bed, and he could tell she was sobbing. He knelt down on the floor next to her bed and put his hand on her back.

"What are you doing?" she said loudly. "Go away. You can't be here right now."

"Katie," he started. "I'm not gonna do anything. I just wanna make sure that you're ok."

"No," she shook her head. "I just kissed my sisters fiance. I'm not ok. I got dumped...that doesn't give me any right to kiss my sisters boyfriend/fiance/what ever the hell you are."

"I'm her boyfriend I guess," he shrugged. "But we've been having problems. Ever since Matilda was born. We're just not the same. And she refuses to kiss me. I haven't kissed her in 3 months."

"Now you're just exaggerating," she chuckled. "I saw you kiss her a couple days ago."

"That wasn't a real kiss," he argued. "I love her, but I can't be with her if she refuses to touch me."

"So she doesn't want to have sex when our parents are 3 doors away from your room...there's nothing wrong with that. I don't have sex with Aaron, unless we're alone in the house...and here that's almost impossible."

"Kiss me," he whispered.

"What?" she asked shaking her head and beginning to stand up. He looked at her and kissed her before she could protest. He kissed her and laid down on top of her. She pushed back at him, and then kissed him back. They were kissing and neither of them were thinking about the consequences. Katie rolled over on top of him and he reached his hand up her shirt. She gasped slightly, but didn't pull away. He rolled them over again and was now leaning over her.

"We're alone," he said quietly.

"Get off of me!" she exclaimed pushing him to the floor. "You have got to be out of your mind!"

"Drew!" Clementine yelled up the stairs. "We're home!"

Katie pushed him out of the room and shut the door in his face. She wiped her cheeks off and flopped back onto the bed.

Drew went down the stairs. Clementine was holding Matilda. She stood up and handed the baby to him.

"Can you hold her for a minute?" she asked. "You wanna help me out here?"

"Ok," he nodded. "You might want to go upstairs and talk to Katie. She was looking for you."

"Did she and Aaron get into another damn fight," she scoffed.

"Somethin' like that," Drew stated. "He dumped her."

"Crap," she whispered.

"He dumped her?" Kate asked. "What kind of loser would dump her?"

"Aaron," Drew shrugged.

**4 Weeks Later**

Clementine and Drew were getting ready to move out. Katie had been avoiding Drew completely. She hadn't spoken to him since the day that he kissed her. She couldn't blame him completely...she had kissed him first. But he suggested that they have sex. What kind of idiot was he. She didn't love him. She wasn't even really attracted to him. I mean yeah he was cute, but he was Clementine's. Katie didn't want anything to do with him. She was just hurting over Aaron and was looking for some comfort.

Katie was in her room with the dog. Izzy was keeping her sane in the crazy household. She had started sleeping in Katie's room and she was becoming Katie's dog more each day. No one else ever paid any attention to her. Clementine and Kate were both always too busy with the babies. Matty seemed to have more of a life than Katie did. He was always hanging out with his friends and especially at Jack and Juliet's house. He and J.C were best friends and were never apart essentially. Katie felt more lonely than she ever had. Before she had Clementine. Clementine was her best friend...and then they both got boyfriends, but she had Aaron. Everyone was gone. The twins and Matty were both over at Jack's house. Clementine and Drew were out house hunting. Sawyer was at work. Kate was taking both babies for their 3 Month check-up. There was a knock at the door downstairs. Katie got up and went down the stairs with Izzy following close behind. She opened the door and saw Aaron standing in front of her.

"Aaron?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I miss you. I miss you so much. Not just as my girlfriend, but as my best friend."

"I miss you too," she nodded.

"Can we-can we start again? Give each other a clean slate?" he asked.

"Like on Little House?" she asked.

"I know you love your dad, but is this really any time to bring his weird anecdotes up?"

She stepped toward him and kissed him softly. They made their way into the house and up the stairs. Izzy started barking and they both almost tripped over backwards.

"Izzy shh!" Katie said softly. "Get away."

They were both chuckling as they made their way into Katie's room. Katie started taking her shirt off.

"Wait," he stated. "Is anyone gonna be home anytime soon?"

"Nope," she smirked. "Everyone will be gone till probably 4:00...maybe even later."

**2 Weeks Later**

Clementine and Drew were getting married. They were standing in the front of the church. Kate was crying. Sawyer was laughing at Kate crying. The ceremony was short and sweet. During the reception everyone had a great time until the kiss with Katie came up.

"I kissed her once," Drew said. "Well more than once, but it was all in the time span of 5 minutes."

"You did what?!" Clementine screamed. "I can't believe that! What are you thinking!"

"That's what she said," he shrugged. "I don't know Clem. I was lonely. We were both-"

"Shut up!" she yelled. She smacked him in the face and ran out of the reception hall. Kate and Katie both followed her. Clementine turned around and got right up in Katie's face.

"Get the hell away from me!" she exclaimed. "Don't!"

She kept running down the stairs. Katie looked up at the sky to try and blink the tears away. Kate continued after Clementine.

"Clem," she whispered. "Stop."

"He kissed her!" she yelled.

"I know," she nodded.

"And he chooses now to tell me!" she sobbed.

Kate stepped toward her and hugged her.

"Clem," she started. "Why don't we go back? You don't want to ruin your wedding. I know that it sucks, but it was just a kiss. Drew loves you. Drew married you today. I think he was just trying to be honest. Did you ever kiss anyone else?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Ok," Kate replied. "There you go. You both made mistakes...but you still love each other right?"

"Yes," she sighed. "Ok...fine. You're right. Let's go back. But keep Katie the hell away from me."

When Clementine and Drew got back from their honeymoon, they moved into their own house. Clementine only came back to Kate and Sawyer's house to pick up Matilda. She didn't want to see Katie yet. She wasn't ready for it. Even though Katie was back with Aaron, and she was sure that Katie was sorry for what happened. She was still mad. She was still mad at Drew, but it was much easier for her to avoid Katie than it was for her to avoid Drew.

**A/N: OK...so I know this definitely wasn't my best chapter...I'm getting ready to go out for dinner and drinks with some of my friends, so I can't spend a lot of time working on this chapter. I hope that you liked it anyway and please please review!**


	97. Chapter 97

**A/N:OMG this is so hard. I want to do 100 chapters but it's just hard to think of more to write. I hope this is ok.**

**Chapter 97**

Kate had tried to get Clementine and Katie to make up, and be friends again so that family get togethers and dinners weren't awkward. Katie wanted to talk to Clementine, but Clementine still wanted nothing to do with Katie.

Kate was sitting next to Katie. Katie was holding Alayna. Kate had called Clementine to come over. She told her that Katie wasn't there.

"So Clem is definitely coming over?" Katie asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "She doesn't think you're here. But I just want to get you two talking again."

"Believe me mom," Katie scoffed. "I would if she would listen to me. She won't even talk to me. It's been 1 month and she won't-"

"Katie," Kate began. "Why don't you go upstairs? Clementine won't be happy if she sees you as soon as she comes through the door."

When Clementine got there she was carrying Matilda. She sat down on the couch and put Matilda down on the floor.

"So what did you want mom?" she asked.

"I want you to stay for dinner," Kate answered. "You haven't come for dinner in almost an entire month."

"Is she gonna be here?" she said with her teeth clenched.

"I-" Kate started. "Clem...do you really hate her that much? Can't you just forgive her? She's sorry. She didn't know what she was doing. And she was just really upset about Aaron...and I know that's not an excuse, but she doesn't want him anymore. She's back with Aaron and everything is fine."

"Everything is not fine mom," she sighed. "I think that Drew still wants her. I mean the other day he called me Katie 'on accident', but still. We haven't even been married for a month and he's already calling me by the name of the girl he cheated on me with."

"Clementine it was just a kiss," Kate argued.

"Just a kiss?" Clementine scoffed. "You got pissed when dad kissed Shannon. You didn't want them to see each other again."

"Well yeah," she nodded. "I guess you're right about that. But the thing of it was that they kept doing it. It wasn't just a one time thing. Katie is your sister...she never meant to hurt you."

"Mom's right," Katie said appearing in the doorway. She looked scared to death, but she took a deep breath and walked toward Clementine.

"Get the hell away from me," Clementine mumbled, but surprisingly enough she didn't stand up or try to leave.

"Clem," Katie began, taking another deep breath. She sat down in front of Clementine. "I never meant for anything to happen. I kissed him...it was a mistake. I never-I didn't think-we kissed. And I'm sorry. But we're sisters. We're supposed to be best friends forever. We're not supposed to let a guy come between us. And he chose you. You married him."

"That was before I found out that he was in love with you," she responded.

"He's not in love with me," Katie argued. "It was one damn kiss that should have never ever happened. Please...it's been a month since you've said a word to me."

"Can you blame me?" she asked softly. "What would you have done if you found out that I kissed Aaron?"

"Considering that you used to date him..." she began. "I'd be pissed. But I could forgive you if I knew that you were really really sorry. You just have to believe that I'm sorry Clem. You have to forgive me because we're supposed to grow into crotchety old women. We're supposed to be widows and live together with 35 cats."

"Things change," Clementine whispered.

"Not this!" Katie yelled. Matilda and Alayna who were both sleeping, both woke up. Kate sighed softly and picked up both the babies and carried them out of the room.

"Sorry mom," Katie mumbled. "Clementine...can you please find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Not right now," she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

She stood up and took Matilda from Kate before she could get all the way to the stair case. Kate looked at her and waited for her to say something.

"I'm sorry mom," she sighed. "I'm gonna get going. I'll call you tomorrow alright?"

"Ok Clem," she said with a nod of her head. "Tell Drew that I say hi...Mattie...take care of your momma ok."

She kissed Matilda on the forehead and watched Clementine leave the house. Kate turned back around still holding on to Alayna. She looked at Katie apologetically who had tears in her eyes already. She stood up and pushed past Kate.

"Katie wait," she said softly.

"For what?" she sobbed. "My best friend...a.k.a. my sister...hates me! She hates me. She wants nothing to do with me."

"Eventually she will," Kate responded. "I promise that she'll get over it. She's your sister. She loves you."

"Really?" Katie chuckled. "She has a really weird way of showing it."

Kate was laying in the bed. Sawyer was running very late from work. He had called her and told her not to wait up. He was supposed to be home around 12:30am. Kate was laying wide awake. They had been married for 18 years. They had spent a total of 38 days away from each other 30 while Kate was in rehab and another 8 when Sawyer had gone to Italy. She hated sleeping without him next to her. She wouldn't be able to get to sleep till he got home. She looked at the clock. 12:00. She tried to read but every time she picked the book up she would doze off and forget what she was reading. If she tried to actually sleep laying down...it didn't work. The baby started crying. Kate was almost greatful. It would give her something to do while she was waiting for him. She went into Alayna's room and picked her up.

"Momma," Alayna sobbed onto Kate's chest.

"Did you just say momma?" Kate breathed. Alayna didn't say it again. Instead she held on to Kate's hair and continued to cry. Kate sat down in the rocking chair and decided that she was just hearing things. She rocked and started falling asleep. The fluid motion of the rocking chair ended up lulling Kate to sleep.

Sawyer got home and tried to be as quiet as he could when he was walking up the stairs. Alayna's door was opened a crack, and he peeked in. Kate was fast asleep, holding Alayna. He smiled and walked toward her. He carefully took Alayna from Kate and put her back in her crib.

"Freckles," he whispered. "I'm home."

"Hmm," she mumbled. "I'm tired."

"Let's go to bed then," he said quietly helping her stand. She leaned against him and almost was acting as if she was drunk. He helped her into the bedroom and laid her down. He started taking her pants off.

"What are you doing?" she gasped quickly waking up.

"I was gonna take your jeans off," he answered. "You're wearing jeans..I just wanted to make you more comfortable. But you can leave em on if you want. Sorry."

"No," she shook her head. "It's ok. Sorry. I was just confused."

"Sweetie," he whispered. "You're so exhausted. You don't even know what you're saying."

"I'm awake now," she nodded. "Sorry. I was half asleep. I thought you were trying-I had no idea what you were doing."

She wrapped her arms around him and they fell asleep. The next day Sawyer had the day off work. One of his first days off since Alayna was born. They both decided that they were going to sleep in. Kate had her arms tightly around him and there was no way that he would be able to get out of bed without waking her up. He kissed her gently on the lips hoping to wake her up only slightly and enough to have her let go of him. She did wake up slightly, however she tangled her leg further with his and leaned against his chest. He could feel her breath on his chest. He kissed her on the lips again. This time she woke up and kissed him back. She rolled over on top of him and continued to kiss him. The kids were all at friends houses except for Katie, and there was no way that she would bug them.

"Let me up," Sawyer said quietly.

"No," she chuckled. "Kiss me."

"I gotta pee," he argued. "So let me up and stay right there...I'll be right back...and don't even think about going back to sleep."

"Yes sir," she said giving him a salute.

They were laying with each other. It was now 11:00am. They were both surprised that the baby hadn't woken up but then Kate noticed the baby monitor. Sawyer had turned it off. She looked at him slightly annoyed, but mostly happy that he decided to turn it off. The phone rang. Sawyer grumbled loudly.

"Let the machine get it," Kate whispered. The phone ran 4 more times before the answering machine picked up. Kate could hear Drew's voice on he other end. He was yelling something, but Kate couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. She quickly reached over and answered the phone.

"Drew," she said. "We're here. What's up?"

"Clementine was in an accident!" he exclaimed.

Kate, Katie, and Sawyer ran through the halls of the hospital. A building which they all knew way too well. Kate ran toward where Drew was standing against the hall waiting for a doctor. He had his head rested against the wall and was hitting his forehead against it. She ran toward him and pulled him into a hug.

"What the hell happened?" she asked quietly.

"She went to get medicine for Matilda. She has an ear infection," he replied. "She was in a car accident."

"Is she ok?" Kate asked.

"I-" he began and paused. When he didn't continue Sawyer stepped toward the son-in-law.

"Is she ok!" he almost yelled.

"I don't know," Drew whispered.

"What did you say?!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Dad, he doesn't know," Katie said.

"Drew, this is my daughter!" Sawyer yelled. "What's going on? Tell me right now what is going on with my daughter."

"Sawyer," Kate whispered putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No!" he screamed. "This is our daughter Kate! Why don't you care!"

"I do care," she said quietly. "But she's-"

"Kate," Drew started. "I can handle this. Sawyer...look...you have no right to yell at me here in the hallway. I know that Clem is your daughter...but she's my wife! She has a baby girl that needs her! So when I say that I don't know what is going on...I don't know! They won't tell me anything! I've asked."

"Well then you don't know how to ask," Sawyer mumbled. He walked over to the receptionist desk and started ringing the bell. There was already a receptionist sitting there, but he was going to continue to ring the bell until she looked at him.

"Sir, I can see you," she said looking up at him.

"What the hell is going on with my daughter!" he yelled at her. "Clementine Fo-Johnson. Clementine Johnson."

"Let me check ok?" she asked. "You're going to have to calm down though ok?"

"She was in a car accident!" Sawyer yelled. "She's my daughter!"

"I understand that sir," she said, still remaining calm. "I will go check right now. I think she might still be in surgery."

The nurse came back out and looked at the family. She looked at her feet. Everyone knew that something was wrong. Kate sat down in the chair behind her to brace herself for the news.

"Surgery went alright," she said quietly. "However. She was hit from behind...both of her kidney's aren't doing well. I know that it's tough, and this is a sudden decision, but can you guys get tested to see if you're a match to give her a kidney."

"Wait, she needs a new kidney?" Kate asked.

"Yes," the nurse nodded. "I'm sorry. But can you get tested?"

"Yes," Kate nodded. "We all will."

They all were waiting for the results in the waiting room. Sawyer was holding Kate's hand. She knew that he needed it more than she did, but she refused to let go.

"We have the results," the nurse said.

"What the hell took so long?" Sawyer asked.

"Sir these tests usually take days or sometimes even weeks to get the results. You only had to wait a couple hours."

"While my daughter is dying!" he yelled.

"She's not gonna die," Kate whispered. "One of us will be a match, and she's gonna live dammit."

"We have one match," the nurse answered. "Katie Ford."

Katie breathed in and nodded. She stood up.

"Ok," she said. "Let's do this."

"Don't you want to think-" Kate started.

"Think about what?" she interrupted. "This is to save Clem. I'm giving her a kidney. I've got another one. That's why we have two. Now let's go."

Katie walked down the hall with the nurse. She was half way down the hall when she turned back. She ran toward Kate and flung her arms around her. Kate hugged her tightly. Sawyer came up behind her and put his hand on Katie's head.

"I'm proud of you Katie," he whispered.

"I'll see you after surgery," she said softly, barely able to get the words out.

"Can we see Clementine?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," the nurse nodded. "Second door on the left. But just so you know she's on a lot of pain killers, so don't be shocked if she doesn't know who you are...or even wake up."

"Ok," Kate replied. "But you don't know our kids. She's gonna be just fine...and she'll know us."

They walked into the room. Sawyer took the lead and walked toward the bed. He grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes and looked up at Sawyer.

"Daddy," she whispered.

"Yeah Clem," he replied. "I'm here."

"Can I be Cinderella?" she asked.

"You're always gonna be my Cinderella," he chuckled. Drew walked over to her and took her other hand. Clementine looked over at him and took a deep breath.

"Drew," she said. "Oh my god. Matilda! Where's Mattie!"

"Matilda's ok sweetness," he whispered back. "She's just fine."

"She was in the car!" she exclaimed.

"No babe," Drew shook his head. "She's right with us. She and Alayna are down in the day care center. Matilda's just fine."

"Oh," she said softly. "Ok. Am I gonna die?"

"No," Kate answered, stepping next to Sawyer and putting her hand on Clementine's forehead.

"But they said something about my kidney," she stated, with tears coming into her eyes.

"Honey," Kate started. "Katie is gonna give you a kidney."

"She is?" Clementine asked. "She's gonna save me? Even though I told her that I wouldn't forgive her?"

"Yep," Kate nodded.

"Well...I guess if she's gonna give me a kidney, we've gotta be best friends again."

"She loves you Clem," Drew replied. "She just wants to be your sister again."

"Well we're gonna be part of each other forever now I guess," she smiled.

**A/N: OMG. I had a great birthday! I had so much fun. One of my friends came over today and we were discussing Lost for like 45 minutes. We couldn't handle it. Neither of us are going to be able to wait for the damn premiere. And now I'm watching Steel Magnolias...the most tear jerky movie ever. I'm choking all up and I can't handle it. Ok. Anyway. Please review. And peace and love...3 more chappy's!**


	98. Chapter 98

**A/N: Ok so I'm re-posting chapter 98, because it didn't go to the top of the list even though I updated. **

**Chapter 98**

Sawyer and Kate waited in the waiting room. Drew had gone home to get let Jack and Juliet know what was going on. Juliet had given birth to a girl which made her extremely happy. She named her Lisa. She was completey happy. Jack was happy too. He was excited to have a little girl. Drew knocked on the Shephard's door. He had the twins with him. Juliet opened the door and looked at the look on Drew's face.

"What happened?" she asked quietly and sweetly.

"Katie and Clementine are in the um-" he paused. He was trying to figure out a way to say hospital without scaring the girls. "They-Katie is giving a kidney to Clementine."

"Your mom called me," Juliet smiled. "The girls are welcome to stay as long as they want. Actually Matty is already here. Do you want to talk to-"

"Drew!" Matty exclaimed running toward the door. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah," he nodded. The girls went into the house. The two boys sat down on the step. Matty looked like he was terrified.

"Hey," Drew began. "You sisters are both going to be just fine. I promise they'll both be alright."

"I'm the worst brother in the world," he said putting his head down. "I mean I am worried about them...but I'm more worried about myself. Is that terrible?"

"It doesn't sound too great," he chuckled. "But come on...lemme know what's going on. Why are you worried about yourself?"

"I really like this girl in my class," Matty said. "And I want to ask her out, but she's not allowed to date till she's 15. I just-"

"Matt," Drew began. "You've got plenty of time. You don't have to go on a date with her...maybe offer to have some kind of group thing. Like all go to the movies with a big group."

"You're a genius!" he exclaimed. "That's so cool. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you're still freaking out over liking her," Drew laughed.

"Will you take me to the movies when I figure out all the plans for it?" Matty asked.

"Depends on when and all that," he replied. "But what's wrong with your mom? I'm sure that she'd take you."

"No," he shook his head. "I mean yeah...she would take me, but she embarasses me. She yells out the window. 'Don't spend all the money on candy!' or she tells me to have fun. She just-she's my mom. It would be so cool if my brother could take me...and you're kind of my brother now."

"I guess I kind of am," he answered.

* * *

Kate was tapping her foot. She knew that a kidney transplant was a common operation. She couldn't decide who she was more scared for though. She could lose both her daughters today. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Freckles," he whispered. "They're both going to be just fine. Katie is gonna save Clementine and both our girls will be home in no time."

"She's amazing," Kate said. "To give her kidney-she's just amazing."

"Just like her momma," he smiled.

"I've never saved anyone," she mumbled. "Only killed people."

"You saved me Freckles," he replied. She looked up at him and let out a soft chuckle.

"How?" she asked.

"I can guarantee you that if I hadn't met you I'd be dead by now. Since I've met you Kate, I've changed so much," he answered.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Me too."

"Mr. and Mrs. Ford?" the nurse said softly. Kate barely heard her. She lifted her head and looked at the woman. "Your daughters are both out of surgery."

"Are they ok?" Kate asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "The surgery was very successful. Both girls are in the recovery room. Now just to let you know the surgery is going to be harder on Katie than it is on Clementine. But like I said...they should both make a full recovery."

* * *

Kate was standing in the graveyard. Her hands were shaking. She told Sawyer to leave her alone, but he couldn't leave her by herself anymore. He walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sweetie," he whispered.

"This is hard," she choked. "I thought it would be easier. It's been 13 years."

"Well," he replied. "Every year on this day...it's the worst day."

"It's such a pretty day," she whispered. She looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. Sawyer put his arms around her and brushed his hand on her cheek. She rested her head against his chest.

"Sammy should be here," she sobbed. "He should be 15...he's supposed to be here Sawyer."

"I know," he said hugging her tighter. "Hon...I know you would stay here all day if you could, but Katie is waiting for us."

"Ok," she sniffled.

As they drove home Kate stopped crying. When they pulled into the driveway Sawyer looked over at Kate. She was glancing out the window not really paying attention.

"Kate?" he whispered. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm alright. I just want to get inside and hold my baby."

"Oh my god," he said. "I totally forgot to tell you. The other day I was changing her and I could have sworn she said dada."

"I thought she said mama a couple weeks ago," she whispered. "I thought I might have just been hearing things. It was that day that I was so tired. When I heard it, it made me excited, but then I realized that I was probably just hearing things."

"No," he shook his head. "She definitely said dada a couple days ago. So she probably did say mama."

"I love you Sawyer," she said quietly.

"Well you know how much I love you," he replied. "If I haven't said it enough...well, I love you Freckles."

"I know," she nodded. She leaned over the seat and kissed him gently. They went into the house. Katie was sitting on the couch holding Alayna on her lap and reading a story. Lucy and Monica were sitting on the floor in front of her also listening to the story.

"Mommy!" Monica exclaimed. She ran toward her and hugged her tightly. Lucy walked over too and hugged Sawyer.

"Pick me up!" she said.

"You're gettin' too big," he told her, but he picked her up and carried her into the living room. Katie handed the baby to Kate.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and go to bed," she whispered.

"It's only 4:00," Sawyer argued.

"I know," she replied. "But I'm tired. It's only be a week since my surgery dad. I'm exhausted. And Clementine is coming over for dinner so I want to be awake for that. Can you wake me up at 6:30?"

"Clementine is coming for dinner?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "And she and Drew are making it so you and dad can just relax."

"Ok," she said somewhat in shock. "Sounds good to me."

She was still holding Alayna. Alayna was reaching for Sawyer. Sawyer took her hand, but she was still reaching for him. She started whining softly.

"Dada!" she exclaimed.

"See I told ya," he said with a smile. He took Alayna from Kate and she stopped whining. She put her head against his chest and fell asleep almost immediately.

"Mommy can we play?" Lucy asked.

"Sure," Kate smirked. "What do you want to play?"

"Poker!" Monica exclaimed.

"No!" Lucy yelled. "I hate poker. It's boring."

"Let's play monopoly," Kate offered.

"No!" they both exclaimed.

"That's even worse!" Lucy exclaimed.

They spent the next 30 minutes trying to agree on a game. They finally decided that Kate could just read to them. They started taking turns reading. They passed the book around the room; Sawyer, Kate, Lucy, and then Monica. Any time one of the girls had trouble with a word, Kate and Sawyer would refuse to help them until they tried to sound it out.

That night they were all sitting at the dinner table. Clementine had made a lemon chicken dish. It was delicious. Kate was a little jealous because everyone was saying how it was the best meal they had ever had. Kate loved to cook, but Clementine always seemed to be just a little bit better than her. She decided that it was because Clementine watched food network constantly, and Kate had been forced to watch Sesame Street when the kids were younger. She didn't have an excuse now since all the kids were always so busy doing other things. The only child that was always home was Alayna, and she wasn't old enough to even watch TV.

"Mom, you're a good cook too," Clementine said. "Everyone...please tell mom that she's a good cook. She looks like she might be a little jealous of me."

"Freckles," Sawyer started. "You're the best cook I know."

"I know Clementine is better," she responded with a smile. "It's really ok. I'm just fine. Let's just keep eating this awesome meal."

"Mom," Clementine sighed. "We have some news."

"You're pregnant aren't you?" Kate asked.

"Not yet,"she shook her head. "Um-Drew got a job. We're moving. We have to go to Michigan."

"But Michigan is over 2,000 miles away!" Kate exclaimed.

"I know," she whispered. "Look. Drew got a job at the University of Michigan. And we figured out a way to pay for us both to go to school. It's a great school. And it's a good school if you want to be a doctor. Jack told me that as soon as I'm done with school he can get me an internship. And since we're married and we have a kid, you can't exactly tell us what to do."

"Um, I know this is a little off topic," Sawyer started. "But you said that you're not pregnant yet...are you trying to have another kid?"

"No," she answered. "We're gonna wait for a little while."

"What kind of job did Drew get?" Kate asked.

"Well first he got offered a position with housing which will get us an apartment paid for. It's an apartment big enough for all of us...including Matilda and another room for another kid...but don't worry dad. And the other job is just-well I don't know exactly what it is...Drew?"

"It's a job in the admissions office. It's work study so they will pay for me to go to school. Plus I get benefits. You know health insurance for my girls," Drew replied.

"And I got all these loans and grants. It'll be hard, but it's gonna be worth it. And since we both already have a year of community college, all our credits are supposed to transfer," Clemntine stated.

"Looks like you got it all figured out," Sawyer smirked.

"We do," she nodded. "But I hope you're not gonna be mad. Are you mad?"

"No sweetheart," Kate shook her head. "Of course we're not."

"So I give you a kidney and you're just gonna run?" Katie said with a smile, telling everyone that she was just joking.

"Well...don't worry. We'll talk on the phone every night...the apartment has free long distance," Clementine said. "We're definitely best friends again, so I have to talk to you. And we can talk on the computer. And hey...maybe you guys can all come out for Christmas. We can have our first white Christmas as a family."

"I like the sound of that," Sawyer said with a smile.

"Me too!" Matty exclaimed.

**A/N: Ok...so I know that it's not my best again...haha. Today I have the whole day off and I'm gonna try really hard to make the last two chapters really really good. I hope you guys liked it though. I know it was a little short. Anyway pleaase review!**


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter 99...one more left guys!**

**4 Months Later**

They were on the airplane. They couldn't get 7 seats all together. Aaron was coming with them. He and Katie sat together. Matty insisted that he wasn't scared and he could sit alone too. He ended up sitting next to a young girl that was right around his age. Kate and Sawyer were sitting with the twins. Kate was holding Alayna on her lap. Alayna was holding her hands to her ears and crying.

"Mommy!" she sobbed. Kate was rocking her gently. He own ears were bothering her too, but she didn't want to scare Alayna.

As the plane landed, it wasn't a great landing. The plane shook and rocked. Alayna started screaming.

"Shh," Kate said softly. "It's ok baby. You're ok. I gotcha. Shh. Darling it's ok."

When they got off the plane Kate got a couple dirty looks from the passengers.

"Haven't you ever seen a baby?" Kate asked one of the women.

"You shouldn't bring a baby that little on an airplane."

"I'm going to see my other daughter," Kate scoffed. "Did you expect me to leave her at home for 2 weeks?"

"Ever heard of a baby sitter?" she asked. "Or don't you have any friends?"

"Hey!" Katie exclaimed stepping toward the woman. "Leave my mom alone. She didn't do anything wrong. Here mom...lemme take Alayna."

Katie and Aaron both stared at the woman. Aaron looked at Alayna who was reaching for his necklace.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered coming up behind her. "Lucy and Monica won't get off the plane."

"Ok," she sighed. "Where's Matty?"

"Trying to drag them off."

"How many kids do you have?"

"6," Kate replied proudly. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," the woman answered. "I don't care what you do with your life...you probably had the government pay for all those plane tickets too."

"Oh that's it," Aaron replied. "What the hell is your problem lady?"

"I don't have one," she answered. Kate shook her head and steered Aaron away from the woman. Kate was used to it. People always made comments about her being too young to have 6 kids. She was stared at a lot when they would go places with everyone. It was affecting Aaron much more than anyone else, because he wasn't used to it.

"People are dumb," Katie sighed. "I hate it, but I'm used to it. People have been staring at us forever. When we were little it was the fact that mom was so young. She was 20 and she had 3 kids. Of course one of them wasn't really hers...I mean it was Clementine. But-people are jerks."

They drove to Clementine and Drew's apartment. Clementine greeted them in the hallway.

"Ok," she began. "Just so you know...we haven't had much time to clean up. We're always really busy. So don't be mad at us."

"We won't be mad," Kate shook her head.

When Clementine said that the apartment wasn't cleaned up, she wasn't kidding. It looked like there was a small tornado that went through the apartment.

"Dang Clementine," Katie said.

During that night they played games and got caught up on each others lives. Drew and Clementine were doing great at school. They were both getting pretty good grades. Katie was starting off the way that Clementine did...at community college. She wasn't getting as good grades as she did in high school which was discouraging her. Matty had his first girlfriend. He was only in 8th grade, and it wasn't really a real girlfriend. They would go to the movies occassionally, but usually that consisted of a group of people just like Drew had suggested. Katie would drive him. Lucy and Monica had become a lot less spoiled and a lot more independent. Alayna was going to be 1 in a few months. She couldn't talk except for saying momma and daddy.

"So where are we all supposed to sleep?" Matty asked.

"Oh...honey we're going to go to a hotel," Kate told him. "There's not enough room here for all of us."

"Sorry mom," Clementine said quietly.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Don't be sorry. We'll be much more comfortable at a hotel."

"Well Katie and Aaron stay here," Clementine replied. "We can all hang out. And we do have an extra room."

"Ok," Kate replied. "Whatever you guys want to do."

"And we can go out late and have a snowball fight," Katie said with a smile. "Do you want to stay here Aaron?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "Whatever."

Kate and Sawyer went to the hotel. The kids all came with them. Kate got the kids all ready for bed. She lowered Alayna into the portable crib which she hated, and started crying as soon as Kate let go of her.

"I'm sorry sweetie," Kate said softly. "I know you miss your own crib. It's only for a few nights."

After a little while she finally settled down and went to sleep. Kate got into the bed next to Sawyer and they both began to read. Matty had gone into the hallway so that he could call his girlfriend. Kate told him he could only talk for a little bit because she didn't want to use up the minutes on the cell phone. He insisted that they had free nights, so she didn't have any other excuses. Kate put her book down and looked at Sawyer.

"I think that Katie had the right idea," Kate said softly.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"Snowball fight," she answered.

"Tonight?" he questioned.

"Why not?" she asked. "Matty can be here if any of the kids wake up."

"Oh," he smirked. "You want to go out without the kids."

"Yeah," she said in a 'duh' voice.

"Sounds great," he replied.

It was 12:00. Matty had finally come in from his phone call. He looked slightly annoyed. He sat down on the bed and looked at Sawyer and Kate, who were beginning to get their coats on.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"We're gonna go outside and play in the snow," Kate said softly.

"I want to come," he answered. "Please please?"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Just me and mom tonight. It's late. And we'd really appreciate it if you could stay here with your sisters."

"Fine," he mumbled. "But tomorrow night I'm going."

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "Tomorrow you and I will go out just the two of us."

"Ok," he sighed. "Have fun."

"Matty," Kate said sitting next to him. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I promise you that tomorrow you and dad will go out all night."

"Yeah yeah," he chuckled. "Go on. Have fun."

Kate and Sawyer made their way to the lawn. Kate started chuckling and shoved him down.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. He pulled her down with him and kissed her. The snow started to fall. It got caught in her hair. Sawyer leaned up and kissed her again.

They spent the next hour out in the snow. When they got back they were both so cold that they used each other to warm up. They got into the room and Sawyer brushed the snow out of Kate's hair. Kate took her coat off and they both quickly got into bed. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back to warm her up. Kate put her cold hands on Sawyer's neck.

"Hey!" he gasped. "Your hands are cold!"

"Sorry," she said softly. He took her hands from his neck and put his mouth on her hands. He blew softly to warm them up. She kissed him and then snuggled against him.

The next day Kate and Sawyer went to Clementine and Drew's apartment. It was 10:00am. Kate knocked on the door and waited. There was no answer. Kate knew that the kids were probably all still sleeping. But as soon as they turned to leave the door opened. It was Aaron. He looked like he had, had a rough night.

"Hey," he whispered and rubbed his forehead.

"Are you ok Aaron?" Lucy asked.

Kate and Sawyer both knew that he was most likely hungover. He let them in the room. Katie was laying on the couch with a trash can next to her head.

"Long night?" Kate asked.

"She drank way too much," Aaron answered. "I kept telling her to stop but she didn't seem to want to listen."

Kate was mad that they had gotten drunk, but she couldn't really be that mad. She did the same thing when she was their age. She just didn't want things to get worse for Katie.

Christmas was in 3 days. Every night Katie, Clementine, Drew, and Aaron were drinking. Kate didn't like it because she could tell each day that they were hungover the next day. However she figured that since it was vacation it was ok. They're the ones that had to feel like crap.

"Ok," Kate started. "Now I don't mean to be a nag, but I recommend you don't drink tonight as it's Christmas eve. You might want to even try getting some sleep."

That night every one slept on the floor in the living room. Lucy and Monica were both afraid that Santa wouldn't find them. Everyone assured them that Santa would be there and in the morning they would all have a ton of presents.

The next morning there was a bunch of presents under the tree. Kate had gotten Sawyer a first edition copy of Watership Down. Sawyer had gotten Kate a diamond necklace, that wasn't too gaudy. She smiled at him and gave him a kiss which all the kids gagged at.

They spent the rest of the week in Michigan. They went sledding, and played in the snow almost every day. Drew and Clementine seemed like they were already sick of the snow. Alayna loved the snow.

On the day they left Clementine took them to the airport. They were standing in front of the security check point. Everyone hugged Clementine and Kate was crying.

"Mom don't cry," she said softly. "Before you know it I'll be home. And the next 4 years are just gonna fly by. And then I'll be back to get my masters."

"Are you gonna come home this summer?" Kate asked.

"Yeah maybe for a week or so," she nodded. "But not to stay for the whole summer. Drew still has to do housing stuff."

"In the summer?" Sawyer asked.

"Well," Clementine started. "We do have a summer semester...Drew has to take care of the place."

**4 YEARS LATER**

Kate had just picked up Alayna from pre-school. They pulled into the driveway there was an unfamiliar car sitting there. Kate pulled up behind it. She got out of the car and opened the door for Alayna.

"Mommy who's here?" Alayna asked.

"I don't know sweetie," she answered, lifting Alayna down. She walked over to the car and Clementine got out. She had a new hair style and looked like she was 6 or 7 months pregnant.

"Clementine!" Kate exclaimed. She wrapped her arms around her and looked at her closer. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm home mom," she said. "I'm home for good. Matilda get out here and say hi to grandma."

"Hi!" Matilda exclaimed jumping out of the car. Kate picked her up and looked at her.

"Hey," Kate said excitedly. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she answered.

They went into the house. The kids sat down on the floor and started playing. Kate continued to look at Clementine. She smirked and shook her head.

"What?" Clementine asked.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?" Kate asked.

"You don't know how hard it was not to," Clementine laughed. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well I'm defintely surprised."

"Do you think dad will be mad?" she asked.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Of course not. Why would he be mad?"

"Ok," Clementine began. "So I came back to go to grad school right? Well to save money in the long run I was wondering if we could stay with you for a while."

"Well," Kate sighed. "4 extra people is gonna be a lot, but we can make it. I don't want you to be living on the street with two kids."

"Actually it's 3 of us," Clementine replied.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"Ok, so the only reason why I didn't tell you this is that I only had a month left in Michigan. And I didn't need you and dad worrying or coming out to kick his ass," she started. "Drew-he's been cheating on me. I left him. That's actually the main reason I'm back."

"What?" Kate said. "I mean I heard you, but how could he be cheating on you?"

"I don't know," she shook her head. "I actually caught them. I came home from work. Matilda was in her room. She came up to me and she said that there was a weird lady at our apartment. I went into the bedroom and there he was...in all his glory. And what was I suppose to do? At the time I was 6 months pregnant. He told me that when the baby was born things would get better. He was just missing being touched. I haven't really been much in the mood for anything except sleep...so he went elsewhere."

"Oh, Clem," Kate said softly. "What a jerk!"

That night the entire family was back together again. Katie and Aaron were going to be going on a date later on. When Aaron got to the house he was looking at Sawyer, trying to get his attention without being too obvious. Sawyer finally noticed and left the room. Aaron followed him, without anyone noticing. Aaron looked at Sawyer and he looked like he was about to be sick.

"What's up?" Sawyer asked.

"Ok," he sighed. "So you know how much I love Katie right? I mean...I love her a lot."

"Yeah I guess I know that," Sawyer said, beginning to feel somewhat uncomfortable.

"We've been together for 8 years essentially. I mean yeah we broke up for that brief period-"

"Get on with it turnip head."

"Hey, my dad is the only on who's allowed to call me that," he argued.

"Alright," Sawyer sighed. "Whatever. What do you want Aaron?"

"OK, I know this is lame and stupid, but I just wanted to ask your permission to marry her," Aaron answered. Aaron pulled a small jewelery box out of his pocket. Sawyer opened it and examined the ring.

"She's gonna hate this ring," Sawyer replied. "But sure...you can ask her."

"Are you serious?" he asked. "No. That can't be right. This was my grandma's ring. My mom wanted me to give it to the woman I loved. Please-"

"Oooh," Sawyer chuckled. "You must be nervous. And you must really love my daughter. I was just testing your reaction. Katie is gonna love that ring. Welcome to the family."

"Thanks," Aaron breathed and then smiled widely. "Oh...and I'd appreciate it if you kept it a secret till we got home. Katie has always made a huge deal about telling her parents about getting engaged."

"Then why the hell would you ask me permission?"

"Because my dad said that you would appreciate it and think that it was good," he answered.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded. "I guess your daddy's right about that one."

"Thanks Sawyer...I mean dad...I mean Sawyer," he half stuttered. "I wanted to try out the dad thing...doesn't really work."

"Pop pop," Matilda said slamming against Sawyer's leg.

"What do you want rugrat?" he asked bending down and picking her up.

"2 things," she started smartly. "Grandma Kate wants you...I want you to tell me where daddy is since no one else will."

"Well," Sawyer sighed. "Daddy is-well-daddy isn't here right now."

"Will I see him again?" she frowned.

"I dunno hon," he shook his head. "Let's go find grandma and mommy."

"OK," she answered. They walked back into the living room. Aaron walked out shortly after and left with Katie. Sawyer sat down on the couch still holding Matilda.

"Clementine," Sawyer started. "I think you should talk to Matilda about Drew."

"Dad," she sighed. "What the hell am I supposed to tell her?"

"Uh oh," Matilda said pointing at her.

"Doin' the swear jar?" Kate asked. "Believe me...it doesn't really work. Your dad and I put more money in that thing than anyone else."

"No," Clementine shook her head. "We're not doing the swear jar. She just knows that H-E-L-L is a bad word. Pre-school."

"Oh," Kate nodded.

"Anyway," Clementine sighed. "Seriously dad...what am I supposed to tell her?"

"You tell her that daddy was mean to you and so he had to go away for a while."

"Jeez dad, you make it sound like he's in jail," she shook her head.

"Well that should be jail worthy," he scoffed. "Then tell her that he's still in Michigan."

"Mommy," Matilda began. "Can I talk to daddy tonight?"

"Not tonight sweetie," she answered.

"But you said!" she exclaimed. "You said when we got to pop pop and grandma's we could call."

"Ok," Clementine sighed. "I guess you're right."

Clementine dialed the phone and took a deep breath. She waited for Drew to come to the phone. It rang 3 times and finally someone picked up.

"Drew's cell phone," a woman's voice answered. "Hello?"

From the expression on Clementine's face Kate and Sawyer knew that the woman must have picked it up. She flipped the phone closed and looked at Matilda.

"He wasn't there," Clementine told her.

"But you can talk to the...what's it called?" Matilda asked.

"Voicemail," Matty chimed in.

"Thanks a lot Matt," Clementine scoffed.

"Please let me talk to his voicemail!" Matilda exclaimed.

"Ok!" Clementine yelled.

"No mommy," Matilda sobbed. She wiped her tears.

"Baby," Clementine sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm just-I'll call him right now and you can talk to him ok?"

Clementine re-dialed the phone. When the person picked up Clementine didn't even wait for the person to talk.

"Look, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but my daughter would like to talk to her dad. Can you please let Drew answer his own damn phone?"

"Clem?" Drew asked.

"Oh," she mumbled. "Here's Matilda."

Clementine handed the phone to Matilda and she started talking to Drew. She wasn't saying much of anything important, but it was making all of them smile. Matilda wasn't talking for very long when she handed Clementine the phone.

"Daddy wants to say something," she said. Clementine considered hanging up, but didn't want to do it right in front of Matilda. She put the phone to her ear and let out a breath.

"Clem?" Drew asked. She didn't answer right away. "Clementine please. Are you there?"

"Yeah," she mumbled.

"Clementine I'm sorry," he replied. "Please-I-I made a mistake. I miss you and Mattie."

"You should have thought of that before," Clementine scoffed. "It's a little late now."

"Clementine you don't understand," he stated.

"Oh really?" she asked. "Because it seems to me I understand perfectly."

"Clem," he sighed. "Please. Let me come out there. And at least see Matilda."

"I want you in Mattie's life. I mean unfortunately," she started. "Unfortunately you'll always have to be in our lives...but-please, don't make this worse."

"I love you," he said softly. She listened carefully and could tell he was sniffling.

"Are you crying?" she asked.

"Clem you left!" he exclaimed. "You just left. You didn't even leave a note. You just took my daughter and left. I could have you arrested for kidnapping."

"You can't kidnap your own kid," she replied.

"Um-" he started. "Yeah...you really can. If you take my daughter without telling me where you're going...it's called kidnapping. You're not allowed to do that. Now I'm not going to press charges. And I'm not even going to hold it against you. But I have a right to see my daughter."

"Well then I guess you're gonna have to move here then, because I'm staying here...I'm not going to go back to Michigan. I hate snow."

"Ok," he mumbled. "We were planning on doing that anyway Clem. I already applied to go to school at UCLA."

"Great," she replied. "See you whenever. But not by choice. I'm gonna stay civil for Matilda...but I don't want any begging me to take you back. You cheated...that's unforgiveable Drew."

She flipped the phone shut and looked at her parents. Sawyer scotted toward her and put a hand around her. He kissed her on the cheek and shook his head.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Ok," Kate began. "Now I'm gonna change the subject, if that's ok with you...what did you talk to Aaron about?"

"Shit," he whispered. "I'll be right back."

He went into the other room and dialed Aaron's cell phone number. He hoped that he would pick up. He finally did.

"Hello?" Aaron asked, somewhat confused.

"Hey," Sawyer started. "I don't think asking Katie tonight is a very good idea. Her sister. She's-"

"Oh my god," Aaron whispered. "You're totally right. I'll do it-just not tonight."

"Ok."

**2 Weeks Later**

The Fords and the Shephard's were all at Kate and Sawyer's house. They were eating dinner, and having a movie night. They spent the night talking and having fun. Clementine was glad to be home and away from Drew. She wasn't thinking about him nearly as much. Aaron pulled Clementine aside which made Katie somewhat nervous since they ended up going up the stairs. Aaron put his hand on the small of Clementine's back and lead her into her old room, which still looked the same.

"What's up?" she asked. "I have a feeling you're freaking Katie out."

"Well that's the last thing that I want to do," he chuckled. "Look. Clem I'm so sorry about what happened with Drew. I actually saw him today...so I guess he's back."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I saw him today too. He wanted to see Matilda."

"Well," he started. "I know that you're still trying to get over it all...ok...so don't-"

He pulled the ring out of his pocket and handed it to Clementine. She gasped.

"Wow," she said softly. "It's gorgeous Aaron."

They both looked up and saw Katie standing in the doorway with her mouth wide open. She ran from the room. Aaron quickly stood up and followed her. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward him.

"No!" she yelled in his face. "Let me go!"

"Katie," he started. "It's yours...this is yours. I was-"

"What?" she asked. "Testing?"

"No," he shook his head. "I wanted to make sure that she was going to be ok with it. I've been wanting to ask you for almost a month...but I didn't want to upset Clementine."

Katie kept her mouth shut and continued to stare at him. He got down on his knee and looked up at her. She put her hand to her mouth and shook her head.

"Will you marry me Katie?" he asked. She looked at him and nodded.

"Yes," she said, just once. He stood up and pulled her into a hug.

**A/N: OK so that wasn't as long as I wanted it to be but I'm gonna make the last chapter as kickass as I can. I hope you enjoyed my chappy. Love all ya'll. Please please review review!!!**


	100. Chapter 100

**A/N: Well guys we made it to the season premiere. For me it's only 24 hours away as I begin to write this last chapter. I hope everyone had a good time reading my story. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Also...just to let you know there's a lot of flashbacks/flashforwards at the end of the chapter, so instead of writing flashback each time the flashbacks are gonna be in** _italics._

**Chapter 100**

**6 Months Later**

Kate was helping Katie with her veil. Katie was already crying. Kate chuckled softly. She handed Katie a box of tissues. Katie chuckled through her tears.

"I feel like an idiot," she sniffled. "I'm not supposed to be crying right now. I just-I'm happy."

"Well I'm glad that you're happy," Kate said. "I'm really happy too. Aaron is a great guy."

Clementine and all the other girls were there too. Clementine was holding Matilda on her lap and reading her a story. She had a her baby. A boy who she named James, much to Sawyer's dismay. The boys were taking care of James while Clementine was supposed to be helping her sister get ready for the wedding.

"Clem," Matty said from behind her. They all turned around toward him. He looked at her and motioned for her to come toward him. She set Matilda down and stood up. She left the room and looked at Matty.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Um," he started. "Ok. So I know-this is definitely a really bad time to-Drew's here."

"What?" she questioned.

"Drew," he began. "He really wants to talk to you. We tried to send him away 3 times, but he keeps coming back. He said he just wants to talk to you. Dad is gonna be right outside the door so if you start yelling at each other he's gonna come in and take him out."

"Why can't you just call security?" she asked.

"He seems really really desperate. I know that's really not an excuse, but I kinda think you should give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Ok," she sighed. "I just don't want to ruin Katie's wedding. Mine almost got ruined. I just-where is he?"

"In there," Matty pointed to a door. Clementine sighed and went into the room. Drew was sitting in a chair with his head down. He looked up at her. She walked toward him and stood in front of him.

"What?" she asked. "What do you want Drew?"

"I miss you," he sobbed. "I miss you so much Clementine."

"Well then I guess you should have thought of that before," she shrugged. "You should have-you shouldn't have cheated on me."

"Clem," he whispered. He slid off the chair and knelt in front of her. "I know. I screwed up big time. And I don't deserve your forgiveness-"

"Then why do you keep asking me for it?" she asked.

"Because," he whispered. "I just want one more chance...I love you."

"I love you too," she sobbed. She went down to her knees in front of him. "But I-I can't do this. I don't want-I'm sorry-"

Before Clementine could spit out what she had to say, he leaned toward her and kissed her softly. She kissed back and then backed away from him.

"Sorry," he told her. She started nodding. "You know what? No...I'm not sorry. And I want to do it again. I miss you Clem."

"I miss you too," she sniffled. "But I can't-I can't do this. It's too confusing. For me...and Matilda."

"What about Jamie?" he asked. "Do you even talk about me to him?"

"He's a baby Drew," she shook her head. "What would you like me to say to him? You're the one who refuses to come see him."

"Because it's too hard to see you," he whispered.

"It's hard to see me, so you can't see your own kids?" she asked. "I mean-it sounds a little pathetic."

"Don't call me pathetic," he shook his head.

"Look," she began. "I'm sorry. It's my sister's wedding and I'm not gonna ruin it for her. I'm going back out there and I'm gonna be the maid of honor-"

"We're not divorced," he whispered. "The divorce isn't final."

"Drew," she shook her head.

"Ok," he said quietly. "I'm done...for tonight. But I'm not giving up. I can't give you up Clem."

"Why is that?" she asked. "Is it because you can't get any?"

"No," he replied. "It's because no one will ever live up to you. You're the best person I've ever known."

"Please," she whispered. "Don't do this right now."

"How can you kiss me and tell me you love me and you miss me, and then change your mind?" he asked. "Do you miss me or not?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"And you love me right?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, breathing in deep and closing her eyes.

"Then I guess that's all I need to know," he answered. "I'll let you get back to your sister. Have a good day...tell Katie congratulations."

"Tell her yourself," she said quietly.

"You want me there?" he asked.

"You can come if you want," she answered.

"I didn't get invited," he shrugged.

"Well," she sighed. "I was allowed to bring someone...and since I've been taking care of the kids I haven't really had a whole lot of time to date...so you can come with me...but don't take this the wrong way...it's not a date...this isn't us getting back together. It's just something. Ok?"

The ceremony was short and to the point. The reception went into the night. Everyone danced and drank into the night. Kate and Sawyer both drank water the whole night but everyone else drank alcohol. Clementine and Drew spent the night hanging out. They danced and talked, and both could feel the chemistry coming back. Clementine had a hotel room because everyone in the wedding party got one.

Kate and Sawyer got a room for the night too. They wanted a night away from the kids. Even though they loved the kids more than anything, it was always nice to have one night every once in a while to themselves. It was around 1:00 in the morning when everyone started to make their way up to their rooms. They were each on a different floor too so there wasn't any awkwardness. However when all the couples got into the elevator things were a little weird. Kate and Sawyer watched as Katie and Aaron looked at each other. They were both sober by now. Neither one of them wanted to be drunk when they went to their room that night. Clementine was in the elevator too, but everyone knew that Drew was going to meet her later. Matilda, Alayna, and James had a babysitter during the wedding, but Matty was going home to take care of them. J.C. and Alex were going to be spending the night at the Ford's house to help Matty take care of the kids.

Matty and J.C were about 16. Alex was 13. Monica and Lucy were 10, but would be 11 soon. Clementine was 22, and Katie was 21.

Clementine got off the elevator first. They all said their goodbyes to her, and they all saw Drew waiting at the door. Kate buried her head in Sawyer's chest and chuckled. Katie and Aaron looked like they were about to kiss and go at it right there in the elevator. Kate was thankful that they only had to go up one more floor.

* * *

**Skate**

She and Sawyer got off the elevator and walked toward the room. Kate opened the door and Sawyer pushed her into the room.

"What are you doing?" she chuckled. He was pissed that the door was closing so slowly. He backed up into it to close it quicker.

"Damn woman," he whispered. "You definitely do not look like the mother of the bride. You are much too hot."

"You're not so bad your self Mr. Ford," she smiled. He stepped toward her. She smirked and wrapped her arms around him. She walked backwards further into the room. She tripped over the bed and almost fell off of it, but Sawyer held her up and moved her onto the bed. She kissed him and moved her hands through his hair.

"We're gonna have the whole night together," she whispered. "Shouldn't we pace our selves?"

"No," he answered. "Are you crazy? I mean you're right...we have the whole night...so why not make the best of it?"

"Do you think we'll still be this hot for each other in 30 more years?" she asked quietly.

"Well," he shrugged. "If I have anything to say about it...then hell yeah."

* * *

**Clementine/Drew- (Crew?)**

Clementine turned beet red when the doors to the elevator closed. Drew looked at her and reached out to take her hand.

"I think they already know, so now it doesn't matter," he said quietly.

"Is this a good idea?" she asked. "I mean I don't know Drew. It's so good to see you again and hang out and pretend that nothing happened, but-I mean what does all this mean."

"I'm gonna tell you something," he stated, taking the hotel key from her and opening the door. "I know it probably doesn't mean anything right now, but I haven't been with anyone...not since 6 months ago when you left Michigan."

"Me neither," she said quietly.

"So that has to mean something right?" he asked. "Can we just give us one more chance...for our kids at least?"

Clementine didn't say anything, but she kissed him softly and lead them into the room.

* * *

**Kaaron? **

Katie and Aaron were laying in each other's arms. Aaron was kissing Katie on her cheeks and squeezed her.

"You excited to go to Hawaii tomorrow?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I love the idea of going to Hawaii. I love you so much Aaron Pace."

"I love you too Katie Pace," he smiled. She chuckled and snuggled against him.

* * *

**1 Month Later**

Sawyer and Kate were sitting in their seemingly empty house. Even though Kate and Clementine were the only kids who had left the house, they both felt like the house was much emptier. Especially since Matty was always gone. He was always either at J.C.'s house or at his girlfriend Jenny's. Kate was a little concerned with how much time he spent at Jenny's house, but she tried to push any bad thoughts from her mind. Matty was always the good kid. She couldn't see anything happening.

"Mom!" Matty yelled when he came into the door. Kate stood up and went toward him. He looked at her and sighed deeply.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I'm getting married," he told her.

"What?" she questioned him. Sawyer came up behind her and looked at his only son. He shook his head and took a deep breath.

"Jenny's pregnant," he mumbled. "So we're going to get married. We're driving to Las Vegas tonight."

"Are you insane?!" Kate exclaimed.

"No," he sighed. "I'm-I love her mom. I know it sounds absolutely crazy...but I love her. And we're going to get married so our baby-it sounds dumb, but it's the only thing either of us could think of."

"How 'bout waiting till you've been together a little longer? How about waiting till you graduate?"

"We've been together for 3 years mom," he answered. "I know you probably don't approve and you'll probably end up hating me and my wife, but I don't care. I just thought that I would tell you."

He left the house just as quickly as he had entered. Kate was left with her mouth partially opened. She was going to say something, but Matty hadn't given her time. She turned toward Sawyer who looked like he wasn't too surprised.

"Are you gonna say something?" she asked.

"Well," he sighed. "Looks like we created some fertile kids."

"This isn't funny Sawyer," she scoffed pushing past him.

"I'm not laughing," he answered following her. "Does it look like I'm laughing? Because I thought laughing sounded a little like this..."

He demonstrated a laugh, that didn't amuse Kate.

"I'm not laughing Kate," he repeated. "But I don't want Matt to think that we hate him or that we're mad at him. Crap happens...and it seems to me that pregnancy happens a hell of a lot in this family. Over half our kids are unplanned Kate."

"Yeah," she sighed. "But we were older..."

"By 4 years Kate,"

"A lot can happen in 4 years!" she exclaimed. "Plus, we were married. I don't want Matty and Jenny to think that they can't come here and I don't want them to think that we hate them either, but-can't I just be a little upset about this for like a day."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "But as soon as you see that little baby you're going to turn into a big puddle of-well something resembling your former self...whatever, you're gonna fall in love with the baby and want another damn one."

"I think 6 is all I can handle," she sighed. "My body can't handle it any more."

"Yeah," he nodded. "You're probably right about that one. I don't want another one either Freckles."

**10 Months Later**

Kate and Sawyer barely saw Clementine, Katie, or Matty. They all had their own lives. Matty and Jenny moved into a small apartment. They both had jobs to help pay for it. Jenny had a baby girl who they named Jessica. They would come occasionally for dinner, but not enough in Kate's opinion. Sawyer didn't really care either way, but Kate missed the kids.

Clementine and Drew both got good jobs and were living together again. Their divorce was never finalized and they burned the papers. Clementine occasionally brought Matilda over to play with Alayna, but usaully during the day when she was working.

Katie and Aaron wanted to start a family so they had started trying to have a baby.

Lucy, Monica, and Alayna were essentially their only kids left. Monica and Lucy were 11...according to Sawyer 11 going on 30. They were way too worldly in his opinion. They seemed to be pretty damn smart too. Alayna was almost 6. It almost made Kate sick to think about the kids growing up. She knew that the next 10 years were going to fly by. Before they knew it all the kids would be out of the house. Sawyer talked about it constantly as a good thing. Kate knew that it would be pretty nice when the kids all finally were out of the house, but she would definitely miss the racket in the house.

Sawyer worked almost constantly. Kate was still a stay at home mom. She didn't necessarily need a job. Sawyer had been promoted...a few times...so he made enough money to support the family, especially since Katie, Clementine, and Matty were all on their own. Matty still occasionally asked for money since they were struggling a little bit, but he didn't want too much because he wanted to prove to both Kate and Sawyer that he could support his family.

Jack had stopped working almost completely. He would come over and hang out with Kate. He had decided on his own that he hated what he did. He wished that he had chosen something different. In the 20 plus years that he had been a doctor he never liked it. It was hard to admit, but once he did, Juliet and him both decided thta it would be better for everone involved if he just quit. He thought that she resented him, so he would come over to talk to Kate and say how many problems he and Juliet had.

"Jack, maybe you should talk to Juliet about it," Kate said one particular day.

"She wouldn't listen to me," he shook his head. "I mean she claims that she doesn't care, but I can just tell that she would rather I be working. I don't think she likes making all the money."

"I'm surprised you are ok with her making all the money," Kate said. "I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but it just seems to me that you're so used to taking care of your family."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I do like taking care of my family Kate...but I hated who I was when I was a doctor. I mean I know it was only 2 months since I quit, but I feel just so much better now."

"I'm glad that you're feeling better," Kate smiled. "God...I just keep thinking about back to those teenage years. We had so many great times."

"Do you remember that one time when you came to my house and I thought you were a robber or something?"

"Yes," she laughed.

_Kate could hear her mother's moans. She put the pillow over her head and tried to block out the sound, but it was not working well enough. She grumbled and stood up. She quickly left the house without making a sound._

_As she walked over to Jack's house she could hear only the gravel beneath her feet. She went up the steps and got the key out of the flower pot. She opened the door and sat down in the hallway. She knew that it was dumb to come here, but she couldn't stay at home. She heard footsteps on the stairs. She stood up to reassure whoever it was that it was her._

_She saw Jack coming toward her with a baseball bat. She wanted to scream, but she didn't want to wake up Margo and Christian. The fear beat it out and she let out a scream._

_"Jack, it's me," she breathed._

_"Jeez Kate!" he exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing?"_

_The look on her face told Jack all he needed to know. He sighed and put a gentle arm around her. She walked with him up the stairs and laid down in his bed with him. He comforted her. Those were the days when it wouldn't matter if they did get caught. Everyone knew that Jack and Kate were like siblings. Neither of them had brothers or sisters, so they had each other. Kate fell asleep against Jack._

Kate smiled at the memory.

"You know," she stated. "As twisted as it might sound...those nights were the best to me. I loved thinking of an excuse to come to your house."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Especially after Sawyer moved in there. You know...one day he knocked on my door and asked me if it would be creepy if he went to your house to check on you."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," Jack nodded. "It was the same day that Wayne hit you...and my parents decided that Sawyer could stay."

_Sawyer hesitated before knocking on Jack's door. He was really worried about Kate. He barely knew the girl, but he could tell that the man who lived with her was a crazy bastard who was capable of anything. He knocked softly and then let himself in without Jack answering._

_"Hi," Jack whispered. "What are you doing?"_

_"I'm gonna go see if little Freckles is ok," he replied. "Is that really creepy?"_

_"A little," Jack chuckled. "But it's kinda nice at the same time. Kate could use someone on her side. I mean I am, and she knows that, but I think she'll appreciate you-but it is kinda late."_

_"Well how do you people get into each other's house?"_

_"What are you talking about?" Jack asked._

_"How would you get into her house?"_

_"The screen in the kitchen is out and the window's broken," Jack half joked, but it was the truth at the same time. Sawyer started to leave._

_"Wait!" Jack exclaimed. "I was joking. There's a key under the welcome mat. But don't use it. If you get caught Wayne will kill you."_

_"I won't get caught," Sawyer answered._

_Sawyer walked down the stairs and toward Kate's house. He realized how tiny her house was compared to Jack's. It almost seemed like it didn't belong there; just like both Kate and Sawyer felt. He reached the welcome mat and found the key. He carefully opened the door just enough for him to slip in. He was thankful the door didn't squeak. He walked quickly, yet quietly towards Kate's door. She would probably think he was crazy for this...but here goes nothing._

"He told me that he came in through the broken window," Kate chuckled. "I thought it was kind of weird. It wasn't like it was that noticable...especially from the outside. I thought for sure that Wayne would find him and kill him."

"Well I bet you're thanking your lucky stars that didn't happen," Jack chuckled.

"Yeah," she whispered and nodded. "Man...there were so many nights when we would sneak into each other's room. We never once got caught."

"Sawyer did," Jack chuckled.

"By who?" she asked. "You?"

"Actually me, mom, and dad. It was some night that you two had decided to go to bed 'early'. We caught him walking back to his room."

"How embarrassing," Kate said.

"I think every part of his body turned bright red...even the stuff we couldn't see, and since he was just wearing his boxers wasn't much we couldn't see."

"Nice Jack," she chuckled.

"_I'm kinda tired," Kate said nonchalantly. "I'm gonna go up and read for a little while."_

_"Kate, it's 9:00," Jack argued._

_"I know," she answered._

_"We always stay up till 11," he responded. "You know watching the news. Waiting for dad to come home."_

_"I know," she said again. "I'm just tired. Is that alright?"_

_"Of course it is," Margo chimed in. "Jack leave her alone."_

_Sawyer had his arm around her and lifted it off to let her up. She went up the stairs and discreetly winked at Sawyer. Remarkably no one saw it. He smirked to himself and leaned his head back. He quickly sat up and looked at Jack._

_"What day is it?" he asked._

_"The 23rd," Jack replied._

_"Crap!" he yelled. "I have a paper due tomorrow. I gotta go."_

_Sawyer ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. Jack looked at Margo looking somewhat suspicious, but neither of them wanted to know what was really going on at the moment._

_Sawyer knocked the code on Kate's door. 3 knocks, 2 knocks, 1 knock._

_"Come in," her sweet voice came from the other end of the door. Sawyer opened the door and saw Kate laying in bed with nothing but a sheet covering her. He shut the door quickly behind him and made sure that it was locked. He quickly took his shirt off and made his way to the bed. She helped him out of his jeans and they locked lips._

_They spent the next 2 hours worshipping each other. They were both exhausted. Sawyer had reversed the roles and was laying on Kate's chest. She moved her hand across his forehead and hair._

_"You should go," she whispered. "It's 11:15. The Shephard's will be up any minute and if you're not in your room..."_

_"Ok," he murmured. "But I'm coming back at midnight so we can sleep. It's coming to the point where I can't sleep without you next to me."_

_"You're such a sweetheart," she smiled back._

_"I know," he nodded. He kissed her and pulled his boxers on. "I'm just gonna leave my clothes here."_

_"What if you get caught without your pants on in the hallway?" she asked._

_"I won't," he replied._

"Oh that's hilarious," Jack cracked up. "You actually warned him and he didn't listen."

"Nope," she smirked. "He took forever to come back too. I'm surprised he even did if he got caught. I wonder why he never told me."

"He probably didn't want to embarrass you," he shrugged. "I mean it's embarrassing for you too."

"Did you and Juliet ever get caught?" she asked.

"As a matter of fact," he responded. "We got caught in the middle of the act by her parents and her big sister."

"Fun," Kate answered.

_Jack and Juliet heard the front door open, but Juliet assured him that her parents wouldn't even come upstairs let alone come into her room. Her room wasn't very convenient as it didn't have a lock on the door, but Juliet didn't think her parents would be coming home at all. Jack still had reservations, but Juliet continued to insist that everything would be fine._

_Jack was laying over her and he covered her mouth as she moaned._

_"Shh," he said with a small chuckle._

_"They can't hear me," she breathed. She kept it as quiet as she could. No sooner did their bodies connect but the door swung open._

_"Jules what are-oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed. Juliet looked up and saw her sister and her parents standing in the door way._

_"Shut the door!" she exclaimed._

"Wow," Kate laughed. "That had to be horrible."

"I still can't look Rachel in the eye," he responded.

"What do you think we'll be like as little old couples. I mean you, me, Juliet, and Sawyer."

"Probably the same we are now," Jack shrugged.

**FLASHFOWARD-now they will all be Flashforwards**

_Sawyer, Kate, Jack, and Juliet were at the Shephard's house. All the kids were gone from both houses. Alayna was 17...she was at a friend's house. The older people were playing a game of poker. All they could ever talk about was how much their families had grown. J.C. was married and had 3 kids already. Alex was married too and he and his wife were expecting their first kid. Lisa, Jack and Juliet's only daughter was 16 and had become really close with Alayna. Clementine and Drew had 5 kids, which Sawyer and Kate found to be quite hilarious, considering Clementine always said she'd stop at 4. Katie and Aaron had 4 kids. A set of triplets. Katie wasn't so much amused with the triplets idea, but she was estatic when she found out they were identical. Lucy and Monica married a set of twins. They did everything together. They even lived next door to each other. All the kids were doing very well for themseves and had substantial jobs and nice homes. Kate insisted that they had monthly dinners. Kate wished it was more often, but it was always hard to get everyone together. The one thing that hadn't changed in 11 years was the weekly dinners with Jack and Juliet. It was always just the adults. It was much easier to do it now that all the kids were out of the house._

_"Ok," Sawyer started. "Let's stop talking about the damn kids. I mean you know I love all the kids, and the grandkids, but let's just-it's poker/game night...let's talk about life."_

_They did change the subject and started talking about how work was going. Juliet was getting ready to retire. She could have continued to work but she didn't want to. She was ready to relax. She had a deep dark secret that she had only told Jack, but Jack wasn't allowed to say anything. She had cancer. It was incurable. It was too far spread. Drugs and medicine wouldn't even help. Jack refused to accept it. They had gone to 6 different specialists. That still wasn't good enough so they went to 4 more. Juliet had accepted it...Jack hadn't._

Kate leaned her head on Jack's shoulder. He put his arm around her and they sat thinking about what would come in the future. Kate loved Jack like a brother. She kept thinking about how much they had gone through. Sawyer coming, killing Wayne, her falling in love with Sawyer, crap happening...even after all these years they were still best friends. Sawyer was her best friend too, but Jack was just the person she knew would always be by her side in case anything ever happened to Sawyer.

_Kate leaned against Jack's shoulder. He put his arm around her. Sawyer and Juliet died 3 weeks within each other. Neither of them could believe they were sitting through another funeral. All the kids were standing behind Kate crying. They all had their respective husbands/wives comforting them, except Alayna. Alayna was sitting on the other side of Kate holding her hand...both their knuckles were white. After the ceremony everyone left to go back to Kate and Sawyer's house._

_"I can't believe he didn't tell me," she shook her head._

_"He knew there was no hope," Jack whispered. "He was trying to protect you...he didn't want you to be hurt."_

_"Yeah well instead I had to read it in a damn letter from his doctor," she sighed. "I opened his mail...it looked important. I didn't even really know what I was reading. All I saw was inoperable. I sobbed till he got home."_

_"I think he just wanted you to keep treating him the same," Jack replied. "I mean I know this probably doesn't help, but he didn't want you to be worried about him."_

_"I know."_

"We've had a hell of a...what has it been now? 25 years?" she asked.

"You're in a fantasy land," he chuckled. "Clementine is 23...that means you're...42."

"Shut up," she scoffed. "Hold your tongue. Ok...all I'm saying...is that it's been crazy. I know we'll be friends till we die Jack."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I think you're right about that."

**_THE END!_**

**A/N: It's been a crazy 100 Chapters. I can't believe the premiere is finally here! I've got another 18 hours or so...anyway...please please please review just one last time. It will mean a great deal if all you guys can take a second. This was such a great fic for me. My most successful one...I owe most of that to all my reviewers who have told me to continue. Yay for Lost and especially for SKate...may Skate have a great season! Boo on Jate lol. **


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